"I should never have let them go alone."

"You'd probably be gone too."

I close my eyes tightly and clench my hands into fists. "Then at least I'd know if they're even alive," I murmur.

"My Queen—"

"Don't you dare call me that!" I snarl, my eyes blazing red as Mitalonys threatens to take over. "Until they are proven to be dead they will remain the kings of the dragons. Until they are found I am not your queen!"

He bows his head. "How would you like me to address you?"

"Zari will do fine," I mutter.

"How will we show our respect?" He asks in disbelief.

"You will do as I ask and find my sons," I growl.

He bows again. "Yes my—" he pauses for a moment. "Of course."

I watch as he hurriedly leaves the room.

"It makes them uncomfortable to address you without a title."

I glance over at Mika with a raised eyebrow. "Their discomfort means nothing to me. I will not allow them to assume my son and his mate are dead," I growl.

"Would you allow them to call you Luna? You held that title quite proudly for years in the wolf pack," he offers.

"I don't care what they call me as long as it isn't Queen. I gave up that title when it cost me my daughter and my mate," I mutter through gritted teeth.

"Zari please—"

"I'd like you to leave now," I say.

He starts to protest but I growl and he quickly shuts his mouth. "Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you," he sighs before reluctantly doing as I said, leaving me alone with only the healer.

He walks around the room, fiddling with items in the cabinets and stepping between the beds. He completely ignores my presence, focusing only on his work.

This is not your fault, Mita says gently.

It's completely my fault.

You cannot blame yourself Lyza, for any of it.

My gaze moves around the room, lingering on the two occupied beds.

Yes I can. They were my responsibility. Jaxon and Ash are my responsibility, I growl. Just like Luka and Fara are my responsibility.

They would have died whether or not you were here.

They're not dead! I spit.

Yet, he adds with a low growl.

I look at Luka. His breathing is shallow and his face is pale. The healer removed his shirt so that all the wounds are visible.

"I still do not have any clue as to what could have caused this kind of damage," he says, noting my concerned gaze.

Luka's chest was nearly torn open and he had dozens of broken bones; it took hours for Callum to simply stop the bleeding.

I stand with a heavy sigh. "I've only ever seen a dragon do something like this," I mutter.

"When was that?"

"When I killed Kailo."

"Ah. I remember that day, he was hardly recognizable by the time your dragon finished," he tells me with a nod.

"But I don't know who could do this in their human form—a dragon could never fit in that dining room."

I swallow hard and blink a few times to keep my emotions under control as I look at Luka's face. He still looks so much like the boy I trained. The greatest warrior in all of the dragon guard didn't even stand a chance.

He protected the king with his life. It is what you trained him for, my dragon reminds me.

I never trained him for whatever did this. I turn my attention back to Callum. "Do you think he'll survive?"

"No. His injuries are far too severe, he may live for another few days but his heart and lungs are already failing," he growls in frustration.

"Is she any better?" I ask, my voice cracking.

Callum looks at me with pain in his eyes. "No. Her condition is much worse. Her body is slowly killing itself and I don't have any way to stop it."

"What could do that?"

"Poison or magic. There aren't any marks so I would assume it was poison. I have no idea what kind though so I have no way to get rid of it. I don't know how much longer she'll be with us either," he says.

It is not her time, my dragon growls.

The gods seem to disagree, I snap and he snarls at me.

Lyza it is not her time yet!

Well what do you want me to do? I am not a healer! I growl.

You are a ruler of the dragons. You can save both of them.

Realization fills my chest with a cold weight. I can't do that.

Would you rather live with the knowledge that you could have saved both of them but instead let them die? he snarls.

I clench my jaw, burying my face in my hands. "Callum do you think I should save them?" I ask in a small voice.

When he doesn't say anything I look up. He watches me for a moment before lifting his chin. "I think they are both going to die very painful deaths that they don't deserve," he growls.

I suck in a shaky breath, nodding firmly as my resolve strengthens. "Get them ready."

*****

"Are you sure it will work?"

"It will save their lives, I can't guarantee it will save their minds though. Many dragons lose memories when they come back, some even forget who they are."

She gapes at me. "Are you really willing to risk that?"

"It hasn't been done properly since my father was King. The dragon must deserve to live in the eyes of the gods."

"Perhaps I could help? I know a few spells that may allow them to retain their memories."

"Very well," I sigh. I frown when I realize my son is not by her side. "Where's Kaine?"

Her gaze falls and she folds her hands. "He wanted to go looking for his brother, and he wouldn't listen to me when I told him it was a terrible idea that could get him killed―"

"Syrra, where is he?" I growl.

Her eyes turn glassy. "He's locked in his bedroom," she murmurs.

"You locked up my son?"

"It was just to keep him safe! He wanted to go after his brother and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to him and I know it's wrong but I―"

"Thank you."

She stares at me with wide eyes. "Wait what?"

"Thank you for protecting my son," I tell her.

"You're not upset?"

I hear Callum shout my name and my chest tightens. "I've got much bigger things to be upset about."

He comes jogging towards me with panic on his face. "We need to do this now, Luka is getting worse," he warns.

I nod, glancing at Syrra who looks more nervous than before. "Do you know what an Awakening is?" I ask.

"No, I've never even seen one in my parents' memories," she admits.

"Outsiders are not generally permitted during an Awakening so you will have to leave once your part is done."

"Please Zari, will you allow me to stay?" she pleads.

I purse my lips. "Pay close attention so you don't get burned," I growl.

The guards pull open the doors and I step out of the palace. I wave my hands and the snow on the ground goes up in a massive cloud of steam.

As I walk across the black dirt of the clearing and up the obsidian steps, my mind wanders back to the day my father taught me how to do this.

"It is a privilege Zari," he said. "As a ruler you are given power over life and death."

The black stone is warm beneath my bare feet. I can feel the pulsing of the volcano deep in my chest as I climb the steps.

"No one else can do it?"

He nodded. "Only a ruler can Awaken a dragon. We must use this power carefully, the gods entrust us with the decision to save a dying dragon. If we abuse that power, we will face the consequences."

"I understand."

My breath rattles in my chest as I stop and turn to face the dragons behind me. "We are going to do this the right way. My uncle destroyed the lives of many warriors and I refuse to do the same," I growl.

"If the gods disagree, if they believe a dragon should die, that dragon will come back feral―they will come back damaged in mind and soul. They will forget who they are and they will slowly lose their human side, do you understand Lyzaria?"

"I understand."

"Syrra go ahead," I mutter as the guards carefully carry Luka and Fara's bodies up the steps.

She steps forward and raises her hands, her eyes completely violet.

"You will dress as a queen. You will wear the crown forged for you and let the ground burn where you step."

"I'm finished," Syrra whispers. She takes several steps back as I suck in a deep breath.

Mitalonys takes over and a scream escapes my lips as agonizing pain rips through my body. I collapse in the dirt, tears streaming down my face. Spikes burst from my spine and my canines turn to fangs.

"You will shift and carry the dragon to Mors. You will let them fall and wait for the phoenix."

"What if there is no phoenix?"

"There is always a phoenix if a ruler is awakening the dragon. The dragon must be allowed to shift of their own will, if they are hurt or forced they will turn feral."

My wings stretch out and Mitalonys roars until the dragons surrounding me fall to their knees. I carefully take up Fara's body in my talons and let my wings bring me into the sky.

My heart begins to race as I hover over the mouth of Mors. The waves of heat are too familiar and my grip on Fara starts to slip.

This was a terrible idea, I breathe.

She will be fine Lyza, my dragon assures me before letting Fara's body fall.

Don't make me watch, I beg him.

My eyes close and they don't open again until I hear the boom. I jerk back as the massive flame shoots up into the sky. The dragon comes soaring out so fast I can hear the whistling of his wings.

He carefully lands, shaking his head and thrashing his tail. Relief fills me when he starts to shift.

Thank the gods, I murmur when Fara becomes recognizable.

Syrra rushes forward with two guards as she collapses. They carefully carry her back down the mountain and my attention turns to Luka.

"Zari you need to hurry!" Callum shouts.

Here we go again.

******

I wake to someone shaking me. I blink lazily, a small groan escaping my lips as my eyes adjust to the dim light.

"Zari?"

"What? What happened?" I ask.

Callum helps me sit up and I wince. My entire body aches and my head pounds.

"When was the last time you shifted?" He asks.

"When I came back from the wolf pack," I mutter, rubbing my temples.

"Okay when was the last time you let your dragon have full control?" He asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh," I murmur. "I haven't done that since the day I found out my daughter was killed."

"Your dragon form changes depending on who is in control so you should let him take over more often, it will hurt less that way," he tells me.

"Is that why I blacked out?"

"Yeah, I would have let you sleep longer but Fara woke up."

My head snaps to the side immediately, searching for her bed on the other side of the infirmary.

"Fara?"

She looks over at me and gives a small half-smile.

I frown. "Are you okay?"

"No," she mutters. "They're gone and it's my fault."

"What are you talking about?" I ask, slowly standing and making my way over to her bed.

"Something was wrong with the wine," she says.

"The wine?"

She nods. "I took some wine from when we visited Syrra and all three of us were drinking it. Jaxon said there was something wrong with it and he was shouting and that's all I can remember." She buries her face in her hands.

"How much did they drink?"

"Ash had a lot, he passed out first. Jax had less than I did but I don't remember if he blacked out or not," she tells me.

"Do you remember what Jaxon was shouting?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know."

"He was shouting for the guards."

I whip around to see Luka pushing himself up to rest against the headboard.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm not dead so that's something I guess," he murmurs.

"What do you remember about that night?" I ask, hope flaring in my chest.

"Jaxon called for me and when I came in his mate was on the floor and he could barely stand. Before I could reach them though I was attacked and—" he pauses, swallowing and licking his lips. "They're gone aren't they?"

"Yes," I say quietly.

He growls angrily and roughly drops his head onto the headboard behind him. "It was my job to protect them!" He snarls.

"Luka this is not your fault. We have no way to prepare you for whatever did that kind of damage," I explain.

He shakes his head, dragging his hands over his face. "I didn't even know they still existed," he murmurs.

"What?"

"The people that attacked me and took the king and his mate."

"Who was it?"

"Angels."

My heart stops. "Are you absolutely sure Luka?" I ask.

He nods. "Unless there is another species with wings that can fight like that."

"Okay, well you two should get some rest. I'll be by to check on you in the morning," I tell them with a reassuring smile.

I manage to make it to my bedroom before collapsing. The tears come streaming down my face and my shoulders shudder with each sob.

I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my mouth but I can't stop shaking.

Lyza calm yourself.

Angels! He said it was the fucking angels that took my sons! I shout.

I understand but torturing yourself will help no one, he growls.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? No one knows where their territory is and no one has ever defeated them in combat. They started a war that we've already lost!

When he doesn't say anything I feel the last of my hope flicker into absolutely nothing. I can't stop the scream that escapes my lips.

I scream until my voice gives out and my throat hurts. I run my hands through my hair, tugging on it and begging for this to be some horrible dream.

I suddenly hear wailing down the hall and I sob. I cover my ears but I can't block out the leopard cub's cries.

A whimper escapes my lips. "Gods help us."