Don't ask how I managed to write this chap...phew *Wipes brow* I just finished 3 chapters math earlier than I thought and I have four chapters left and two days to study them so I took a break and wrote this chap as fast as possible. :P So it might...no actually it WILL have a lot of mistakes :P And thanks everyone for being understanding about this :D you truly are the best

Okay....so the song for this chap is 'Things left unsaid' by disciple. I love this song *sighs*

The pic is...*Sighs* The pic is my favorite quote by Heathcliff from one of my favorite stories 'Wuthering heights' by Emily Bronte. It just reminded me of Damon

Okay hopefully I'll be able to pt up another chap soon if not sorry :S anyway hope you like this chap.

Vote, Comm, Enjoy :D

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Damon's P.O.V.

I woke up to the sound of a knock on the door. I must have fallen asleep, it seemed Lux's room was the only place I was able to sleep in. I opened the door and saw Miranda standing in front of me, looking as tired, her face grim. My heart fell

"No" I said taking a step back "No don't tell me, she can't be..."

"She's not dead Alpha" She said and I let out the breath I was holding "But she's still not stable, I got her on a heart monitor an IV and..." She sighed "It's not looking good"

"Can I see her?" I said and she nodded. I got out of Lux's room and followed her. When I reached the door I took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for what I was about to see and went in.

The twins were on either side of her bed, both of them holding onto one of her hands and murmuring things to her. Taylor was beside her, brushing her damp her with his fingertips and looking pained. Chase was sitting on a chair wit his elbows on his legs and looking at her like he couldn't believe this was Lux and Jason  just stood at the the foot of the bed, his eyes puffy and red and filled with pain.

They all turned to me when I came in but I didn't look at any of them; dread filling my body as I looked at her.

"Come on let's go guys" Jason said and they nodded. Every one of them kissed her forehead before leaving the room and closing the door behind them.

The heart monitor was the only sound in the room as I stared at her. A sheet covered her body and her chest rising and falling was the only thing that made me sure she was alive. God, she was so pale. I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked towards her.

I touched her forehead and flinched; guild and fear taking over as I noticed how cold her skin was. This was my fault. This was all my fault 

I sat on the chair beside the bed and held her limp hand "Lux" I said my voice hoarse "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" I took a shaky breath "But you have to be okay" I said "You have to live I..." I gulped "Please, I'll do anything just...please" I laid my head on my hand that was holding hers

"Damon" she said breathlessly and my head shot up thinking it was one of those moments when a miracle happens.

"Lux?" I said standing up, her eyes were still closed but I was sure she said my name, I was sure I wasn't hallucinating.

"Damon" She said shifting on the bed, she looked pained as she started breathing heavily. It was then I knew she didn't hear me, she didn't feel me. She was still unconscious.

"I'm here" I said my hands gently caressing her cheeks "baby I'm here"

She started convulsing, choking like she couldn't breath and writhing in pain as I tried to hold her, to comfort her.

"Damon" She called agonized and I felt my heart being torn apart at the sound.

"Damn it Miranda come NOW" I said using every bit of my alpha tone just as Lux let out a shriek of pain. 

The door opened and Miranda rushed in "Damn it I thought this wouldn't happen again" she said "Damon hold her down before she tears the stitches on her stomach"

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and immediately tried to hold Lux down "It's okay" I said to her and hen turned to Miranda "What's happening?"

"Her body was rejecting the drug but it's still taking it's toll on her organs, she's deteriorating. Fast."

Lux let out another scream and I looked at her pained that I can't help her. I looked around me and noticed the twins were standing in shock. Chase had both his hands tugging at his hair as he turned around, unable to look and Taylor just  had his head in his hands while Jason helped me hold Lux down.

It all happened in a second, Lux stopped moving and fell back in the bed just as the heart monitor stopped beeping and gave a long, dreadful sound.

"No" I said just but Miranda started shouting for Ren She pushed me away and put both her hands on Lux chest as she started doing compressions to get her heart to start beating again.

"No, no no" I kept chanting as I slumped against the wall so I wouldn't fall to the floor, cause that's what I felt was gonna happen. I couldn't believe it. Lux's heart....it just....it stopped beating she was....she was...dead "Please no" I prayed "Please god no. please god don't take her away from me."

Miranda kept doing compressions but nothing was changing. After a while she stopped and looked t me, her face pained and defeated. "She's gone" she said 

"No" I said "NO" I ran and shoved her away and started doing the compressions myself "She's not gonna die"

"Damon she's already-"

"NO" I screamed "She's not. No,no no" I started doing compressions "You're not going to die Lux do you hear me?" I said "You're gonna wake up and you're gonna kick my ass for being an idiot... and I'm gonna spend everyday trying to make it up to you but you're not. Going. To. Die." 

"Damon-"

"NO" I screamed, tears forming in my eyes but I blinked them away, this wasn't a time to cry, I needed to help her, I needed to do this "Come on" I said between clenched teeth "Please baby please you have to live."

"Damon she's not-" Miranda started b she shut up when the heart monitor gave changed and started giving a beep, and then another and then another. "oh my god"

"thank god"  I said and bent down and planted a kiss on her forehead

"Okay all of you get out I need to check her" she said and rushed everyone out "you too Damon"

I nodded, hesitant about leaving the room but she nodded to me reassuringly and I nodded, squeezing Lux's hand before leaving.

"Damon" Jared said sniffing as he wiped a couple of tears, he's been silent and hasn't said a thing ever since Lux came back shot and hurt "Your parents and mine are here, what should I tell them about her?"

"I'll talk to them" I said and went downstairs and into the living room where I was immediately swarmed

"is she okay?"

"How bad is it?"

"What happened?"

I took a breath and motioned for them to shut up "Lux was shot" I said "She had custom made bullets and she was shot with one of them." I took a deep breath "She needed blood so we gave her and...and her heart stopped just a few moments go but we got it beating"

Lux's mom gasped and held on to Greg "You mean she might..."

I snapped my gaze at her and looked her in the eye "No she won't, she won't die" I said more to myself than to her but nevertheless she burst in tears

"I bet you're happy now" Greg said "You don't have to deal with a mate anymore" I growled and in a moment had him backed up against the wall holding him up by the collar of his shirt 

"Don't you dare say that" I snarled "Don't. You. Dare" I felt a hand on my shoulder and knew it was my mom so I let him go and he stood up and dusted himself off as I looked at him, pained. "I understand where you're coming from and I deserve the way you're treating me." I gulped "But don't you dare say anything like that ever again." 

He just stared at me as if analyzing what I was saying and I continued "I. Love. Her" I said "I'llalways love her. She means the world to me and I screwed up, badly.  I'll never forget what an asshole I was to her, I'll never forgive myself"

I turned my back on all of them and went upstairs and immediately went to check on Lux. Miranda was in the room, she wrote a few things on a notepad and turned to me "Alpha there's something important I have to tell you"

"What? Is it Lux? Is she okay?" I said hastily and she sighed

"This first night is crucial, if she lives through tonight there's a chance she might wake up but..." She sighed "But the problem is they gave her Lycotine in wrong doses, her wolf was suppressed too much and then the drug in the bullet reacted with the Lycotine and..."

"and?"

"And even if she survives this night there's possibility she won't be able to change to her wolf form anymore"

"What?" I asked shocked "That's not possible, that's never happened. She can't just stop being a wolf. She's gonna be human?" 

"It's unheard of but it might happen" she said "it's going to be a very drastic change in her life she's gonna need you guys" she looked at me warningly and I growled

"Of course I'm gonna be there for her" I snarled and then I looked at her as another thought came to me "If she turns human" I gulped "What about the mate bond?"

"Wolves can mate with humans" she said but then took a deep breath "But seeing as she wasn't always human. I don't know, the bond might be broken"

"What do you mean broken?"

"What I mean to say is, you won't have the bond forcing you to stay together. It's a possibility but I'm not sure, it's never happened before" she looked at me sympathetically "But alpha, there's still a chance she won't even make it through the night. There's a 70% chance she might die"

"She won't" I said with anger "She won't die"

"Alpha, you have to accept that possibility--"

"SHE"S NOT GOING TO DIE"

"But-"

"GET OUT" I yelled at her, my wolf taking over as I put my alpha power in the command "get out"

she immediately left the room and I just stared at Lux thinking of what I'd do if she died, if i couldn't see her smile brightly at me, if I couldn't hear her laugh again or see her roll her eyes at me.

"Damon?" I heard a familiar sound  say behind me and a few minutes later I heard the door close and mom walked and stood in front of me "Are you okay?"

"You want the truth or what I'm supposed to say as Alpha?" I asked not taking my eyes off of my mate.

"I'm your mother of course I want the truth"

"Then no I'm not" I walked to the ouch near Lux's bed and sat, she immediately sat beside me

"I hate seeing you like this" my mom said cupping my cheek and I finally looked at her, smiling gently at her worried face.

"Like what?"

"Like a broken man." She said her eyes filling up with tears "Like someone who has lost the will to live"

I sighed, my gaze wandering to Lux before going back to her "I can't live without her mom. but I still don't deserve her"

"Everything's gonna be okay"

"No it's not" I said my voice breaking "Even if....when she lives through this. There's a chance she won't be able to change to her wolf form. Do you know what that'll do to her?How that'll destroy her"

"At least she'll have you-"

"What good will that do her?" I snapped and then then chuckled humorlessly "What good have Idone her so far? This is all my fault" Tears formed in my eyes and I felt my chest tighten "God this is all my fault mom" and that's when I snapped.

The tears I'd been holding for so long made their way out and my mom choked on a sob as she hugged me. I panted, choked and cried; my body heaving uncontrollably as I clutched to the pain in my chest. "I-I can't live without her and it's....it's so fucking hard"

"I know, I know" My mom said and I knew she was trying hard not to cry "It's gonna be okay"

"No it's...n-not" I said "I did all of this to her...If it wasn't for me she-" I trailed on crying like a child. No one would ever see this side of me except my mom or my mate.

"Now you listen to me Damon Lytton" My mom said lifting my head so I could look at her "The rogues did this to her and she's going to be okay do you hear me?" I stayed silent for a while before nodding "Now when she wakes up, if she can't change anymore you're gonna have to be the strong one, you're gonna have to be there for her and you won't be able to if you're overwhelmed with guilt."

"You're right" I said straightening and wiping away my tears "You're absolutely right"

"You made some mistakes, we all do but dwelling in the past won't help" she said sternly and then smiled "Now I have to go you're father's waiting for me downstairs and Rose is with the babysitter"

"Give her a kiss for me will ya?" I said smiling, it's been so long since I've seen my baby sister. My mom nodded "I love you mom"

"I love you too honey" She said hugging me and then she left.

I stood up and walked towards Lux's bed and slid in with her, careful not to hurt her. I gently pulled her to me gave her small kisses all over her face till I finally reached her lips.

"I love you" I whispered to her "I love you so fucking much, baby" my eyes filled with tears and my fingers brushed her hair gently as I cupped her cheek with my other hand "And you're gonna be okay. We're gonna get through this I promise" I placed another gentle kiss to her lips and felt a few tears slip, some of them falling on her cheek before I wiped them with my thumb "Wolf or not we're gonna get through this" I let my hand, that was brushing her hair, down and held her hand "Just wake up baby, wake up"