~Legolas discovers something about Lasriel that troubles him and tries to improve his skills as a lover.~

~♕~

"This is awkward. Not you're awkward,
but cause we're...I'm awkward.
You're gorgeous. Wait, what?"

– Anna, Frozen

~♕~

13. Husband

Relieved, Legolas put down the last name on the list. His wife had proved to be mellow and compliant and not one of those arguing, moody wives his marriage guide had warned about. This had every chance to be a good marriage, and when they had that baby he was certain she would be a good mother too.

The thought of babies stirred his blood and the yearning he had suppressed on the road returned in full strength.

He looked at Lasriel for the first time that evening. Her hair was in a disarray and the braids from the wedding were gone. Had she entered the colony looking like that? It bothered him slightly that she had not given the others the best first impression of their leader's wife, but he supposed she had not had time to groom herself during the journey.

Her fuzzy hair didn't make her less pretty, however, and he felt another wave of desire.

"Well, that is settled then." He put the list on the wall. "Then, perhaps it is... bedtime?" He felt an expectant tingling between his legs.

"I suppose it is."

If he hadn't been looking at her when she replied, he might have missed her subtle wince at the suggestion. Years of training as a warrior had heightened his perception and ability to read faces; when fighting close combat, interpreting one's opponent's intentions could be a matter of life and death.

"Are you sure? Do you really want to, uh..." His voice faltered.

"Of course I do."

There it was again. Her jaw tensing, her shoulders pulled up... She was lying. But why would she lie about that?

"If you are tired we can wait. There is no hurry." He tried to sound reassuring.

"I am not tired." She put on a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I shall just go to the lavatory first. Come to my bed when you are ready." She hurried out as if to avoid more objections.

Deep in thought, Legolas took the bucket and went to the river to fetch water. She had said she liked it on their wedding night but then he had been drunk like a fish and in no condition to read subtle signals. Had she lied then too?

Unfortunately his marriage guide had no chapter about the physical act that could help him understand her behavior.

Very hesitantly he entered her room a while later and found her in bed, the comforter pulled up to her nose.

He sat at the foot end. "Do you really want to do this?"

"Why do you keep asking me that?" Her forehead furrowed. "You know I want a baby. This is how you make them."

That was true, he could tell. So, she didn't like it, but would endure it to get pregnant?

It almost made him lose his desire – but embarrassingly enough only almost. The thought of feeling her silky heat still made his heartbeat increase and blood rush downwards.

Lasriel folded up the comforter invitingly and he crawled on top of her, resting part of his weight on his elbows. She smelled nice from a herbal soap in combination with her own scent, and her fingers were soft as she slipped them under his nightshirt, shyly exploring his back.

She only wore a thin nightshirt too, and through it he felt her breasts press against his chest.

"Ready?" he mumbled breathlessly.

She nodded.

When he pushed into her, he saw in her face that it hurt. Then that had been a lie too.

He ought to stop; pull out and think of another way to do this, but when he hesitated she reached up to stroke his cheek. The adoration in her eyes that had always been there still remained.

She liked him and wanted him to give her a baby. She was willing to go through the necessary pain to get that.

This couldn't possibly hurt as bad as giving birth anyway, right?

He knew he was making excuses to allow himself to continue, because it felt so good, and his body craved to pound into her with abandon.

Feeling rather disgusted with himself he began, struggling to keep his pace slow and not push too hard this time.

He kept watching her face closely and was relieved when he saw her begin to relax and the signs of pain disappear.

She closed her eyes and a small sigh evaded her lips.

Was it a sigh of pleasure – or was it because she disliked it so much?

There was no way to tell, for despite his best effort he couldn't hold back. A few quick strokes later it was over.

"That was, uh... Thank you," he mumbled. Not daring to ask her again what it was like for her – and see her lie – he gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. "Goodnight."

Back in his own bed, he decided to be even more gentle the next time, and to make himself last longer. If she had begun to enjoy it near the end it might mean she just needed more time for it to be pleasurable.

~♕~

In the morning, Legolas gathered his people and let his foreman fill him in about what had happened during his absence.

It was a sad tale. Hardly any of the plantations had survived intact; one had been flooded, one suffered from drought, one had been plundered by deer and another looked like a plowed field after a flock of hungry wild boars had passed through.

They were nearly back at square one.

The Lórien people would need a couple of days to build houses, so though Legolas itched to get out to the more distant plantations and put as many saplings into the ground as possible before winter, he would have to stay close to the colony until they had finished in case they needed his help.

At least he could work in the near vicinity and renew the oak forest by the road.

While Legolas and his team planted trees, Lasriel unpacked her belongings and made their home a bit more comfortable. Each time he returned for meals it looked nicer. At breakfast he found a rug inside the door, at lunch a tree painting in his bedroom and at supper she had arranged her copious amount of books on shelves (that she must have built herself somehow), filling the whole wall in the central room.

Though he teased her about being a bookworm he was secretly delighted. This was one of the benefits of marriage he had previously imagined: to have a wife making his home look more like a place people lived in than a garden shed.

It was still too simple to invite any fine guests from Osgiliath or Minas Tirith of course; that must wait until he could afford to build a bigger and better house with windows and perhaps even paint on the walls. But it was nice all the same.

Lasriel had cooked some sort of stew for supper that was too salty and the meat too sinewy. Legolas ate without mentioning it. She would learn with time, he was sure.

Afterwards he suggested they read together, which was the shared interest they had settled on prior to their engagement, and Lasriel enthusiastically agreed.

He moved the sitting cushions over to the cooking fire for warmth while she fetched two volumes from the new shelves. The one she gave him was a book about forestry.

"I bought it for you in Lake-town," she said a bit shyly.

Her thoughtfulness pleased him, and though there really wasn't much more he could learn about trees he politely leafed through it. At least the pictures in the middle were pretty; watercolor originals which must have made the book quite costly.

They sat in companionable silence for a while, the only sounds being the crackling of the fire and the rustle of book leaves. But as the minutes passed Legolas began to think more and more about later. The scent of Lasriel's soap filled the room, reminding him of how it felt to be with her, and at the same time he was becoming nervous. He badly wanted her to like it this time but what if he failed again?

He was not used to failure and it bothered him that he might be bad at something so natural.

His gaze fell on the wine carafe that sat on the table. They had had a cup each with the stew, but perhaps he needed another one – or two – to relax?

But no, then he wouldn't be able to read her features and he knew now she wouldn't give an honest answer. Why she wouldn't do that was harder to understand. Maybe she wanted to spare his feelings?

Well, at least he had a plan for this time to make it less quick. He could only hope it would work...

He couldn't stand the waiting any longer; this would have to be enough bonding for tonight. Closing the book he put it down, and in an act of bravery he didn't beat around the bush with his request.

"So... Shall we try again to make a baby?"

She blushed quite prettily at that but nodded assent without hesitation. He took it as a good sign she hadn't winced this time.

He finished his bedtime routine quickly and crept under her sheets with a pounding heart.

Was it only his imagination, or did she look a little expectant tonight? 

But when their bodies joined a short while later he saw it was still not painless despite how careful he tried to be. He could only hope it would pass soon like it had yesterday. 

Now, time for the plan.

Setting an excruciatingly slow tempo, he turned his thoughts to the most unerotic things he could imagine. Ugly orcs... his poor dead saplings... dead friends lost in the war – no that was too sad – missing his mother... missing his best friend Gimli though they just parted... bearded female dwarves...

Damn. This strategy didn't work the way he had intended; he felt himself go limp and nearly slipping out. Perhaps he needed to concentrate a little on what he was doing.

His attention returned to Lasriel's soft walls caressing his length with each slow stroke, her scent in his nostrils, her quick breaths...

No. No no no!

Hold back, he must hold– Damn. Heat rushed through his loins as he emptied himself in her.

Guiltily he looked at her face and saw that she had still not enjoyed it; perhaps even less than the last time.

Feeling horrible and worthless he slunk back to his own room with only a quick "goodnight" before he shut her door.

A/N:

I know this story is probably bordering on 'stupid plot' by now (= a plot where a problem could be easily resolved if the characters just talked to each other), but many marriages actually are like that. The couple doesn't talk and hence misunderstandings and small nitpicks build up until one day the dam bursts and it leads to divorce. That's why marriage counseling can help – it forces people to open up. :) But Lasriel and Legolas will have to work it out for themselves without a helpful counselor.

Thanks to everyone who read, voted and commented on previous chapters! 🥰