"T-thank God you finally answered the call, mom," I said after I heard my mom's irritated hello over the phone.

"What for? I'm very busy, you know. This better be important."

"N-nothing really. I-I j-just want to ... h-hear your voice," I choked, holding back tears.

"Is that it? I told you I'm busy, so why are you wasting my time over something this trivial?" my mom replied, her tone laden with negative emotions that had never failed to make me shiver ever since I was younger. She was already beside herself.

"N-no, no. That's not all. I-I just need you right now, mom," I said, voice cracking, tears already streaming down my face as I stare blankly at the bare, slightly chipped off mint green wall in front of my desk.

"Then what is it? Just cut the crap and tell me. I already have tons of things to finish," she replied, irritation apparent in her voice over the line.

"I-I failed my biochemistry exam," I said, my voice shaking in distress. "I only scored 50%."

"That's normal, and that's okay," she said, simply.

I heaved a sigh of relief upon hearing that. It was comforting to think that despite her high expectations regarding my grades, she still thinks that failing is normal.

"You're still the highest, right? Or one of the top scorers?" she added, which made my heart sink. I was wrong to even wish for her to be understanding about this matter.

"N-no ..."

"Then what's the highest score? Or the lowest score among the top scorers? Surely, you're near that?"

I muted my phone's speaker and started wailing inconsolably. Why does she only care about me being on top?

"Hey, Kylie? Are you still there?"

I unmuted my phone and tried answering, but no sound came out aside from my sobs. I tried again, this time, I heard my voice cracking as I choke on my words, "Y-yes, I-I'm still here, mom."

"That's okay, your scores will still be adjusted along the curve," she said. "I'm sure that will bump up your score to passing."

I did not know what had gotten into me then, but everything just turned into a blur and I suddenly had the strength to answer her and tell her what I had always felt about her pressuring me to always stay on top.

"Why are you like this, mom? I called because I missed you and I consider you to be the only one who can console me, but you only further made me feel bad," I said without pausing.

I really did not know what had gotten into me. I could get in trouble for doing this, but I could not even will myself to stop. The words just kept pouring in.

"No, I'm not one of the top scorers. In fact, I might be one of the lowest scorers because my classmates said it's one of the easiest exams we have had," I continued, tears and snot both streaking my face.

"Why do you always need to have this too high of an expectation that I don't even know if I could still keep up with? Why can't you even just be someone I can find comfort with, even just this once, mom?"

I hung up the phone, no longer wanting to hear what she had to say. But as soon as I hung up, my phone rang nonstop, my mom's name popping on the screen, prompting me whether or not I wanted to answer the call.

I chose to ignore everything, even as my phone rang for a whole 30 minutes. Finally, the ringing stopped, but it was replaced by alternating notifications of text and Facebook messages.

Call back. We need to talk again.

Are you slacking? You can't be this careless, Kylie.

You've been the valedictorian in elementary and high school. You can't fail this time, Kylie.

College is the most important stage next to med school, Kylie. Don't disappoint me.

You only need to study; why can't you even do that properly?

I decided to turn off my phone to no longer see my mom berating me. Then I threw my phone to a thud on my bed, just opposite my study table.

I am just so tired of trying my best to meet my mom's expectations, but why do I always fall short? When will my efforts ever be good enough for her?