I felt the pockets of my jeans, which felt uncomfortably sticky from being wet, probably from some drinks I spilled on them or, worse, from some of my vomit. I tried looking for my phone, and a slight panic washed through me before I realized that it was beside me all along. Chloe might've left it there before she left. She has done a lot for me, but I messed up. I do not know how I can talk to her again.

I touched my lips, and I could still feel the touch of Chloe's lips lingering on mine. Her lips were soft, but there was not even a hint of a tingling sensation. It did not feel magical; it just felt like I kissed family, so I am so confused. I thought it was UPLB, as in UP Lahat Bading?

There was a running gag at our university that UPLB means UP Lahat Bading, but now I know that they might be mistaken. I think not feeling anything from my kiss with Chloe means I'm straight, though I think I need another kiss to confirm it. But this time, I think I should kiss a guy.

I still feel light-headed, but I know I can find someone on the Omegle website who will help me get this over with. After all, I keep hearing good things about this website, such as success stories from my classmates who said they met their romantic partners there and from the Freedom Wall, where they were just having a blast talking to one another.

So, I don't think it's a crazy thing to do, just something sort of like a quick research about my sexuality.

With my heart drumming so loud I almost swear I could hear it and my palms sweating, I keyed in the Omegle website and tried to navigate my way around it. This was my first time going here because I was always engrossed in my studies, although I always heard my other classmates talk about using it often to look for "sparks".

Maybe I just need to key in UPLB on the interest tag here, and then I'll get people from UPLB. I don't know, but it won't hurt to try.

So, I keyed it in and tapped the enter key on my keypad, making the UPLB tag turn blue with a little "X" on top. I then tapped the "Start Chatting With Strangers" button, still feeling my heart beat so wildly, as if it wanted to get out of my chest. My sweaty thumb left a vague fingerprint on the screen of my iPhone 6, blurring the button before it disappeared.

The screen went blank, and I felt my heart drop because of my irrational fear that my iPhone got a virus from accessing Omegle. Thankfully, I recovered immediately, as I didn't have to wait long for the screen to prompt me with "Connecting..." and "You are now chatting with a stranger. Say hi!"

I tapped, deleted, and tapped again, racking my brain for a casual but striking opener that wouldn't give away that I was new in Omegle. When I finally found the right words to chat and finally tap send, I found out that the stranger had already chatted.

Stranger: 22/M. Asl?

Me: Huh? Asl? Is that a typo for ask?

The screen prompted me with "Stranger is typing..." and then stopped.

Me: It's okay, though. I'm not a Grammar Nazi!

He did not reply, but there was another prompt that he was typing. And then it stopped again.

Me: Hello?

I was getting anxious and was about to tap the "End Chat" button when he beat me to it. The screen then prompted me with "Stranger has disconnected," and an orange button saying, "Great chat? Save the log!" appeared.

Gosh, how rude? I was just correcting his typo, though.

Eager to find another person to chat with, I tapped the blue button with "New" written on it. Another prompt, "You are now chatting with a stranger. Say hi!" could be read on the screen.

I tapped faster than usual, wary that the stranger might disconnect again.

Me: Hi! Please don't disconnect. I just need to confirm something. Please talk to me.

I stared at the screen as it prompted another "Stranger is typing..." and I felt my heart sink as I saw it disappear. I braced myself for the stranger to disconnect again, so I was surprised to see a reply.

Stranger: Sure! Haha. 20/M here. Your asl?

This "asl" again. What does it even mean?

Me: Please don't laugh and please don't disconnect.

I tapped furiously on my phone so I could type and send my chats before this stranger disconnected.

Me: I don't know what "asl" means.

Me: But I'll be glad to answer you if you let me know.

Stranger: Haha!

Stranger: Sorry, I can't help but laugh. Is it your first time here?

I hesitated for a bit before I tapped on the send button, for fear that the stranger would judge me for this. But here goes...

Me: Yes.

Stranger: That figures. Asl means "age, sex, location."

Oh, so that's why the first stranger disconnected. It turned out that I was the rude (and stupid) one, not him.

Me: Age: 19

Me: Sex: F

Me: Location: Elbi

Stranger: I see. Iska?

Me: Yes. How about you? Are you also an isko?

Stranger: Yes, I'm a UPLB student as well.

Stranger: So, what brings you here?

Me: Hmm...

I tried to answer, but immediately deleted the sentence I already keyed in. What if he tells me my reasons are absurd?

Me: I don't know how to tell you my story without you judging me.

Stranger: Try me.

Stranger: Tell me more about yourself first, though.

Me: Kylie, BS Bio major in Microbiology.

Me: Not to brag, but I'm actually a consistent university scholar who's aiming for Latin honors.

Stranger: I see. Same here.

Stranger: Though it's just a matter of me enjoying my subjects, and excelling at them is just a bonus.

Me: What's your name?

No answer. In fear of him disconnecting, I immediately changed the subject. I do not know what has gotten into me, but I felt like I did not want to see him disconnect.

Me: Never mind that.

Me: Anyway, good for you.

Me: My parents subtly hint at needing me to graduate with Latin honors because they, too, graduated from UP as such.

Stranger: Good for you, too!

Me: Is it really good for me, though?

Me: My classmates always say that I'm so uptight.

I saw the prompt that said the stranger was typing, but it stopped. I braced myself to see the prompt when the person I was chatting with disconnected, but it didn't appear. So, I decided to send a message again.

Me: I think they're right, though.

Me: I wasted my best years just studying.

Me: I'm no fun.

Stranger: Why is that?

Stranger: You seem to be a great girl.

Stranger: Being a university scholar is not an easy feat.

Stranger: And I'm sure people would love to be around you.

Me: No, I only have one person who wanted me around.

Stranger: Who?

Me: My best friend.

Me: And now I messed up by snapping at her, when she just wanted to help.

Stranger: Huh?

Stranger: Tell me more about it.

I hesitated for a bit, but the veil of anonymity got the better of me, and I found myself pouring my heart out with the stranger I am chatting with. I told the stranger about the fight I had with my mother, how I felt like I was not good enough for her. Then I told him about my drinking spree, if it could be called that, and how, even when Chloe helped me, I pushed her away.

Stranger: I'm sure she'll understand.

Stranger: You just need to tell her what happened, like how you told me everything right now.

Me: I don't know.

Me: Maybe I'm better off alone.

Stranger: Hmm ...

Stranger: I think you're being too hard on yourself.

Stranger: What if there are others who also want to get close?

Stranger: What if you just didn't let them get closer to you?

Me: I doubt it.

Me: Or if there are people like those

Me: They probably just want to flirt.

Me: Just earlier, I got wasted after less than two bottles of beer.

Me: Embarrassing!

Me: And the guys there just tried to grope my boobs and butt.

Me: I knew they weren't from Elbi, but still ...

Stranger: I would've kicked those assholes if I were there!

Stranger: You don't deserve that.

Me: Don't I?

Me: I brought it upon myself.

Stranger: No, no.

Stranger: You were drunk and trying to have fun.

Stranger: You were a victim, and no one should tell you otherwise.

Stranger: But why did you even think of doing these things?

Me: Huh. You said you aren't judging me, but here you are!

I was prepared to disconnect because of his hypocrisy, but I did not because of his next message.

Stranger: Isn't doing well in acads still counted as making your best years count?

Me: Idk. But I really think I shouldn't be focusing on just studying.

Me: My classmates can drink and top the class, so why can't I?

Stranger: But you're different from them, though?

Me: But I don't want to be different.

Me: I want to fit in.

For some reason, I found him easy to talk to. I feel like he understands me and knows what to say—not in the same way as Chloe does, but still understanding, regardless. As soon as I remembered what had happened tonight, the guilt I had felt that had weighed on me disappeared, and I found myself comfortable enough to tell him everything.

Me: But I made another terrible mistake.

Me: I don't know if my best friend will still talk to me

Me: Or it will be the last time I'll see her.

Stranger: And that is?

Me: I kissed my best friend.

Stranger: Why?

Me: I just wanted to check if I was straight or not...

Stranger: And what did you find out?

Me: Not sure about it.

Me: I didn't feel anything with that kiss.

Stranger: Wouldn't that confirm that you're straight?

Me: Could be.

Me: Or maybe I'm asexual?

Stranger: Oh, yeah. I haven't thought of that.

Me: So that's why I'm here in Omegle.

Me: I want to look for some random guy with whom I can share a kiss, just so I can feel if kissing a guy feels different from kissing a girl.

Stranger: You're a strange one, aren't you? Lol.

Me: Not really. As I said, I just want to have fun and maybe explore for a bit.

Stranger: Well, if you want someone to do it with, I'm down to it!

I double-checked my screen to see if I was seeing things because I still felt light-headed, but I read it right. For some reason, though, I felt relieved that it was him I would be doing it with.

Stranger: We could kiss. And maybe you can also help me with this thing I wanted to try?

Me: Sure, what is it?

Stranger: I wanted to try love counseling.

Me: What's that?

Me: Aren't therapy sessions expensive?

Stranger: Strictly speaking, it isn't exactly a therapy.

Stranger: And it's a free one offered by Heart Evangeline Abad.

Me: Ah.

Me: The self-proclaimed love guru?

Stranger: Yes. Lol.

Stranger: She isn't a psychologist, just someone who claims she's good at giving love advice.

Stranger: Just because her books were bestsellers.

Stranger: So, I'm just really curious about how she does it.

Stranger: And test if she'll be able to tell that we aren't really lovers.

Me: You called me strange, but you're the weirder one.

Stranger: So you don't want to do it?

Me: Hah. I'm just stating facts. But I'm down. Let's do it!

I did not know what happened next because I felt the weight of my eyes getting the better of me, and everything went black.