The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, bathing the room in a soft, golden hue. I stood in front of the mirror, my fingers fumbling with the tie around my neck. I had managed to pull on a crisp, full-sleeved shirt, but this damn tie was proving to be more of a challenge than it should have been. Every time I thought I had it, the knot slipped loose, as if mocking my frustration.

But honestly, it wasn’t the tie that was the problem. My mind kept drifting back to last night, to Antonella’s confession. She was with someone—really with someone. And while I should have been happy for her, all I could feel was this dull ache in my chest. I had always thought that if anyone should end up with her, it should be Jimin. They just made sense together. But now, everything felt off, like something was slipping through my fingers and I couldn’t stop it.

I hadn’t spoken to her since that conversation. I couldn’t. Every time I saw her, I felt this weird mix of emotions that I didn’t want to deal with. So I avoided her, hoping that by keeping my distance, I wouldn’t bring my own confusion into her happiness. But it wasn’t working. The sadness lingered, gnawing at me, making it hard to think straight.

I cursed under my breath as the tie slipped out of my grasp again. That’s when I heard the door creak open behind me. I glanced up and saw Antonella stepping into my room, her presence immediately making me tense.

“Hey,” she said softly, her voice gentle but hesitant.

“Hey,” I muttered back, not daring to look directly at her. I kept my eyes on the mirror, pretending to focus on the tie, though my fingers were shaking now.

She came closer, her reflection appearing beside mine in the mirror. "Need some help with that?" she offered, her tone light, trying to break the ice.

"I’ve got it," I replied, a little too quickly, a little too harshly. I kept fumbling with the tie, but I could feel her eyes on me, and it only made my hands more clumsy.

There was a silence between us, thick and uncomfortable. I could feel her wanting to talk, to bridge this weird gap that had formed overnight. But I just… couldn’t.

“So, you’re getting ready for Jimin’s meeting today?” she asked, trying to fill the silence with something—anything.

"Yeah," I said shortly, still not looking at her. The cheerfulness in her voice felt forced, and it only made the knot in my chest tighten even more.

She sighed softly, and I could tell she was getting frustrated. She stepped closer, and I could see her hand move, like she wanted to reach out to me but wasn’t sure if she should. "JK, is something wrong? You’ve been… distant since last night."

Her words hit me harder than I expected. I didn’t answer right away, focusing on the stupid tie like it was the most important thing in the world. But my hands wouldn’t cooperate, and neither would my thoughts.

Then, her voice broke through my defenses, trembling with a kind of vulnerability I wasn’t ready for. “Are you not happy with my happiness?” she asked, and I could hear the pain in her words, the uncertainty that cut deeper than any of my own confusion.

My hands stilled, and for the first time since she walked in, I looked up at her reflection in the mirror. The sadness in her eyes mirrored the turmoil inside me, and I felt this wave of guilt crash over me. I hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but by avoiding her, by trying to protect myself, I’d done exactly that.

"Noona…" I started, but the words caught in my throat. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to explain that my own feelings were a mess without making her feel worse? The question hung in the air, demanding an answer that I wasn’t sure I could give.

Antonella’s eyes bore into mine, the intensity of her gaze filled with a raw urgency that sent a shiver down my spine. Her voice quivered as she demanded, “What? What, JK? What is it? Tell me. I need an answer.”

The words hovered on the edge of my tongue, but they refused to form. How could I possibly articulate the storm of emotions churning within me? “It’s… nothing,” I finally forced out, though it sounded more like a weak plea than a convincing reassurance. “It should be nothing, but it feels like everything.”

She stepped closer, the space between us shrinking until her presence was almost overwhelming. Her expression softened, and her voice, though still heavy with emotion, took on a tone of painful understanding. “I know,” she began, her words hesitant as if treading on fragile ground. “I never intended to wait until it was official to tell you. I wanted to share it with you when I first felt the butterflies, those giddy, teenage feelings of love. But back then… my father had barely allowed me to come here, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. I resented my father so much, but how could I ruin your life, too?”

Her words struck a deep chord within me, resonating with memories of a time when our lives seemed infinitely simpler, when the world hadn’t yet weighed so heavily on our shoulders. I wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pressed on, her voice gaining a sense of urgency.

“I could have told you after you came, but then you were dealing with so much—your dreams, the pressures, the uncertainty of migrating to a new country. And just when things started to settle, you found love. I couldn’t bring myself to burden you even then. I’m sorry, JK. I’m so, so sorry.”

Her apology hung in the air, thick with the weight of unspoken words and lost moments. My heart ached for her, for the struggles she had silently endured, and for the times she had felt she couldn’t confide in me. But that wasn’t what was truly tearing me apart.

“It’s not that,” I whispered, my voice barely audible, as if speaking any louder would make the confession unbearable. “It’s not because you told me later… it’s not about the timing.”

Antonella looked at me, her brow furrowed in confusion, her concern etched into every line of her face. “Then what is it?” she asked softly, her voice a fragile thread that threatened to unravel.

I hesitated, the truth heavy on my tongue, hesitant to break the fragile peace that still lingered between us. But I couldn’t hold it back any longer. Meeting her eyes, I finally confessed, “Because… I wanted you to end up with Jimin.”

The silence that followed was suffocating, pressing down on me with a weight I hadn’t anticipated. Antonella stared at me, her eyes wide with shock, as if she couldn’t quite believe what she had just heard. I could see the myriad of emotions flickering across her face—confusion, disbelief, and a deep, unspoken hurt.

I stood there, feeling more vulnerable than I ever had, exposed in a way that left me uncertain and afraid. The confession hung between us like a fragile thread, ready to snap at any moment. I waited, breathless, for her response, wondering if I had just shattered something beyond repair.

Antonella didn’t speak right away. Her eyes searched mine, as if trying to decipher the tangled emotions behind my words. The silence stretched on, thick and tense, until finally, she took a deep breath. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper, filled with a sorrowful understanding. “Jimin…?”

I nodded slowly, the knot in my chest tightening with each passing second. “I always thought… the two of you were meant to be. It just seemed right in my mind. I don’t know… I guess I was holding onto that idea for so long. And now… I don’t know how to feel.”

Her gaze softened, the hurt in her eyes giving way to something gentler, a sad understanding that mirrored the turmoil in my own heart. She reached out, her hand brushing lightly against mine, a gesture so simple yet so filled with unspoken meaning.

“JK,” she murmured, her voice gentle and tinged with regret, “I had no idea you felt this way. I never knew…”

I looked down at our hands, her touch warm and grounding, pulling me back from the edge of my spiraling thoughts. “Neither did I,” I admitted quietly, the words slipping out as if they had been buried deep inside me for years. “Not until now.”

Antonella guided me to sit down, her demeanor calm yet firm. “JK,” she began softly, her voice laced with an undercurrent of emotion. “Jimin and I are just friends. You have to understand, Jimin is still healing, love. He needs time—a lot of time—to come back to himself.”

I felt a pang in my chest, but I couldn’t help pressing on. “Yes, but… he’s settled in life, he’s charming, and he’s everything anyone could ever ask for. Why didn’t you choose him?”

She gave me a sad, knowing smile, her eyes filled with a depth of understanding that only years of experience could bring. “Jimin isn’t a choice, love. He’s a person. And I would never want him as a backup plan.”

“But why wasn’t he the first?” I knew how selfish the question sounded, but Antonella had always answered even the most foolish of my inquiries without judgment.

She sighed deeply, drawing in a breath as if steeling herself for what she was about to say. “Look, JK, I’ll be honest with you.” Her voice softened as she continued, “Things between Jimin and me didn’t start the way things started between you and Y/N. The Jimin you know isn’t the Jimin I knew.”

I leaned in closer, my curiosity piqued, but my heart heavy with an emotion I couldn’t quite name.

“I’ve known him for eleven years,” she said, her voice growing distant, as though she was reliving memories from a lifetime ago. “I was only eighteen when I met him. He was just a broken boy, JK—a boy shattered by circumstances beyond his control. The guilt I felt… it was overwhelming. That’s why I stayed by his side, why I pushed him to study, to build a career, to become the man he is today.”

“Hyung isn’t a broken boy anymore,” I protested softly, though even I could hear the uncertainty in my voice.

Antonella’s expression turned bittersweet as she shook her head. “He is, JK. He’s still a man searching for the missing pieces of himself, still trying to mend the cracks in his soul. Somewhere along the way, he found a friend in me, and that’s the feeling I’ve always reciprocated. But the guilt never left me. I will always be ashamed of what my father did, of the horrors he subjected Jimin to.”

I stared at her, my heart aching for both of them. “Is that why you chose not to be with him? Because of what he used to be? That he was… a stripper? That doesn’t sound like you, Antonella. The Antonella I know isn’t like that.”

Her gaze sharpened, and she shook her head firmly. “No, JK, absolutely not. What he did to survive… it doesn’t matter to me. He was a child, a child manipulated into a world no one should ever face. He didn’t choose that life, and I don’t judge him for it.”

“Then why aren’t you with him? You were the one who helped him heal. Why are you leaving now?”

Antonella’s face softened with a mixture of sadness and resolve. “I’m not leaving, JK. Can’t you see? I’m still here. Do you see how young I am and how much wealth I’ve accumulated? I’m not leaving this—him—behind.”

“But you left him,” I argued, my voice tinged with frustration and confusion.

She met my gaze steadily. “No, JK. I never left him, and I never will. Everything I’ve done for Jimin is my way of apologizing, for the scars my father left on his life. And while Jimin can stand on his own now, I continue to support him financially because I’m still apologizing—for the horrors he endured.”

I could feel the tension in my chest, the frustration bubbling over as I tried to make sense of her words. “But he loves you, and you love him. What’s stopping you? Who could possibly question that?”

Antonella’s hands paused in the middle of tightening my tie, her movements deliberate and calm. She looked at me with a sad smile, one that seemed to hold the weight of the world. “There are always those who will question, JK. Jimin doesn’t have a father’s name to carry, and while his own identity is strong, society demands more. He can’t marry me without tainting my name and tarnishing his own image. And if people knew… if they knew that my father slept with him… it would destroy him.”

Her words hung in the air like a dark cloud, suffocating the hope I had clung to. “He’s a fighter, JK,” she continued softly. “But the families of fighters always suffer, whether it brings honor or not. And Jimin… Jimin never truly learned how to love, not in the way that would allow him to love me. I’m his best friend, JK, and I know him better than anyone. I understand what he can and cannot do. It’s not because I hate him. It’s just that… some things are not meant to be.”

The room felt heavy with unspoken emotions, and I realized there was nothing more to say. Antonella’s words were a quiet resignation to a reality she had long accepted, even if it still pained her deeply. And as she finished knotting my tie with the same flawless precision she had always shown, I felt the sting of her truth settle into my heart.

Some things, no matter how much you wish otherwise, are simply not meant to be.

"Listen, I love you, I love Y/n and I love Jimin just as much as I love myself and Jared, my boyfriend. And I will always have a separate corner in my heart for all of you, no matter what."

"I understand that. Yet, I wish, I only wish."

"You may continue to, I wouldn't stop you. As of now, brace yourself and meet the man you need to. Don't let this hinder the greater goal. You understand?"

She pulled me into a hug. I breathed in her familiar scent, hugging her back. I was happy for her and I hope she remains happy because if this Jared doesn't keep her happy, I will break his jaw with a green pair of waterproof, stain proof, heavy duty combat boots. Monster boots. I mentally made a note of that.

"I will break all 206 bones in his body into 206 more pieces does he ever break your heart." She laughed as I finally let go off her. It is her laugh I always want to see. At least the tie was tied.