you thought this was a double update? oh no it's a triple (read 34 & 35 first!)
this chapter is basically bille and jamie after hours (i hope it acts as a big hug after the wembley chapter)

Billie's heart weighed heavy, seeing her closest friend destroyed by the person that societal norms would say was meant to be his greatest protector. She knew what it was like to have a complicated relationship with a father, and she knew that she would be anything except civil if she laid eyes on James Tartt again.

She was sitting on a lone bench outside the team's locker room, waiting for the boys to change back into their tracksuits. A long bus ride back to Richmond awaited the team, but Billie didn't intend on getting the team bus back to Richmond, she wasn't going back, not yet at least.

The locker room doors opened and she watched a stream of mellow footballers trail out, Colin and Isaac caught sight of her, shuffling towards her as the others headed towards where the team bus would be waiting.

"You okay?" Colin asked softly as she stood up, wrapping the two young men in a hug.

"Thank you," She whispered as she clung to them both, "For being family."

"We've got you, Bils," Isaac assured her, "Movie night tomorrow, yeah?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," She smiled fondly as she let go of the two boys.

"You joining us on the bus?" Colin asked.

"I'm waiting for Jamie," Billie muttered, mindlessly twirling her silver ring around her finger.

"Alright, we'll see you later," Colin nodded as the two players disappeared down the corridor.

Billie spent another fifteen minutes or so leaning against the wall, watching as the remainders of the team trailed out of the locker room. Will had given her a quick comforting hug, and Nate gave a reassuring nod, unsure of what else he could offer her.

The door opened again and out walked Jamie and Roy, they were both carrying heavy frowns, and Jamie's eyes were still red. As the striker caught sight of her, he looked surprised to see her, not having expected her to have waited.

"Hi," Jamie muttered so softly, it was almost a whisper.

Billie wordlessly wrapped her arms around him, she hadn't had a chance to do so in the locker room, Roy had been the support that he needed in that moment, but Billie wanted to make sure Jamie was alright, she wanted him to know that she cared.

Jamie knew. From that night they broke into Nelson Road, he knew she cared.

"You're okay," Billie whispered as she clung onto him, "You're going to be okay."

Billie pulled away, looking between her brother and Jamie, who still looked completely lost, and she knew what he needed, she had an idea of what might help.

"Would you take this back to yours?" Billie handed her camera bag to her brother.

"You not coming back on the bus?" Roy frowned.

"We're not," She gestured between herself and Jamie.

"We're not?"

"We're not," Billie nodded, "We're getting out of here."

"I was just gonna go home," Jamie muttered, looking at her with a blank frown.

"I don't think you should be on your own, not after today," Billie told him, because she cared, and she'd only end up restlessly worrying about him if she let him go, "We trust each other, right?"

"Yeah," Jamie nodded, because he did, he wholeheartedly trusted her.

"Well, give your bag to my brother, and let's get out of here," Billie encouraged him, hoping that he'd agree.

"You know where you're going?" Roy asked, taking Jamie's kitbag in his hand, finally grasping an understanding of the dynamic between Billie and Jamie, because just weeks ago, he would've disputed the idea of Billie wandering off into the night with Jamie Tartt. But he knew that Billie knew Jamie, and she understood him, and what he needed, he knew that he couldn't argue with that.

"Yeah," Billie nodded, "We're going to my favourite part of London."

"You gonna tell me where we're going?" Jamie asked as the pair strolled down Olympic Way, leaving Wembley Stadium behind them. It was far quieter than it had been before the match, all the Richmond fans had long gone, and the City fans were no doubt halfway back to Manchester, not wanting to miss the last trains back up north from Euston.

"Nope," Billie shook her head with a smile, "And you won't guess either."

"Can you give me a clue?" Jamie asked, grateful for the distraction.

"Have you ever been on the tube?" Billie asked, gesturing towards the train station in front of them.

"I'd get mobbed." Jamie quipped.

"Jamie," Billie smiled fondly as they walked up the steps towards the tube station, "No one gives a shit who you are on the tube."

"I'm wearing me training kit," Jamie frowned as he walked beside her.

"I know," She gestured to her own tracksuit, "No one on that train is going to give a shit, I promise, and if they do, I'll handle them, alright?"

"Like me own personal bodyguard?" Jamie offered a small smirk, wishing that he'd had someone to be that for him just hours before.

"Yeah," Billie nodded, sensing his hesitation, "Just like that."

Jamie had been an emotional wreck in the moments that followed his hug with Roy, the team respected that he needed space and made an effort to sit in silence. At one point Will had approached Billie, offering her a bottle of water, having noticed the tears that had been rolling down her cheeks, he then asked her if she thought Jamie might also want some water, knowing that crying could be particularly dehydrating.

Will was the perfect little brother.

Billie knew that while Jamie might've felt more comfortable with the idea of going home and falling asleep after several bottles of beer, it wasn't what he needed. He needed to see that the world needed him, that he mattered, that a world without him would be boring.

He was so much more than just football.

Once the pair had traveled under the streets of London on the Jubilee line, they arrived at Southwark Underground Station, in an area of London that Jamie wasn't sure he recognised, especially in the dark, while the streets remained deserted.

"Come on," Billie smiled, taking her hand in his, leading him down the empty street towards their destination.

"You still ain't told me where we're going, Bils," Jamie sighed, doing his very best to keep up with her.

"You'll see," Billie beamed, knowing that he'd say no if she told him what her plan was.

That smile, to Jamie, that smile was magic. He was still trying to compartmentalise one of the toughest days he'd had in a long time, and yet every time he locked eyes with Billie, the noise went quiet. He could silence his father's voice in his head when Billie laughed, he could numb the pain in his knuckles when Billie told him some wholesome anecdote about each stop on the Jubilee line during their journey.

"The river?" Jamie frowned, laying eyes on the River Thames as they turned a corner, "We ain't getting a boat or something, are we?"

"No, Jamie," Billie shook her head with a slight smile as they walked alongside the river, dark blanketing the city, except the hundreds of small lights that were littered across the skyline, "We're nearly there."

"Okay."

"The water looks pretty calm tonight," Billie sighed, looking out at the river as they walked beside it, just the lights wrapped around the branches of the trees illuminated the space in which they walked.

"We ain't swimming in it, are we?" Jamie remarked.

"No, Jamie," Billie replied with a slight grin, "That river is full of diseases and shit."

"Shit?"

"Yeah, literal shit," Billie nodded as she laid eyes on their destination, "We're here."

"Where's here?" Jamie looked around, seeing nothing but the river and a large brown building.

"Did I ever tell you about the work experience I did at the Tate Modern when I was seventeen?" Billie asked as they looked up at the large building.

"No."

"This is where I'm taking you," She told him, "Come on."

In the summer that Billie had completed her work experience, that gallery became her safe place, it was a place she went when the world was too noisy, and a few times she'd taken advantage of having staff access, entering the building after hours. It was her safe place, she had never taken anyone there, not Alfie, not Madison, not even her brother.

"Ain't it closed?" Jamie frowned.

"Yeah, that's the point," Billie replied, leading him towards the side of the building.

"Are you sure this is allowed?" Jamie remarked.

"Oh, it's fine," Billie brushed it off as though it were nothing, even though it was after hours, "No one's here."

"So, we're breaking in?" Jamie replied as they reached a locked side door which had a keypad on it.

"Is it really breaking in if they haven't changed the code in almost six years?" Billie asked, typing the security code into the keypad, grinning as the door unlocked. 

"Fair enough," Jamie smirked as Billie held the door open, gesturing for him to head inside, "This is becoming a bit of a pattern, me and you breaking into places?"

"I suppose it is a pattern now it's happened more than once," Billie replied as she watched Jamie walk inside.

She followed him inside, pulling the heavy door shut, before leading him through the back corridors where the various offices and staff rooms were located.

"Why are we here, Bils?" Jamie whispered, even though no one was there to hear them.

"There's something I wanted to show you," Billie told him, "Pictures wouldn't do it justice."

"Why didn't we just come when it's actually open?" Jamie asked as they entered the main atrium of the gallery.

"And be pestered by little kids asking you for photos?" Billie raised her eyebrows, "Besides, what we're here to see is way better when it's empty."

"Had no clue you were such a criminal," Jamie sighed with a smile as he walked alongside Billie, taking her lead.

"You wait till I tell you what we're doing after this," Billie smirked.

"Huh?"

"We're robbing The Tower of London," Billie teased with a smile.

"Very funny," Jamie smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "Come on, lead the way, show me where we're going."

"This way," Billie gestured down a dark hallway.

"Don't they have security cameras in a place like this?" Jamie asked as Billie guided him in the right direction.

"Yeah, but I know where they are and where they aren't," Billie assured him.

"Proper little spy, ain't you?" Jamie smirked, pulling her closer as his arm hung around her shoulder.

"You got me," Billie held her hands up in innocence, playing along with the joke, "I'm on an undercover mission, been feeding information to Arsenal for the last year."

"Those shifty Kent eyes," Jamie teased.

"Fuck off," Billie nudged his arm off of her shoulders with a smile, "I don't have fucking shifty Kent eyes."

"You did when I first met you," Jamie replied, "Won you over with me pricky magnetism."

"Yeah, you did."

"So you admit it," Jamie quipped, a shadow of the terrified cowering boy he resemebled some hours before, "It was me pricky magnetism that did it for you?"

"Amongst other things," Billie smirked as they reached a heavy black curtain, "Here we are, close your eyes."

"You want me to close me eyes?" Jamie frowned.

"Yeah, but I'll guide you," Billie assured him, "I won't let anything bad happen, I promise."

"Alright," Jamie sighed, closing his eyes as Billie stood beside him, placing a hand on his bicep as she held the curtain open, smiling at the sight of what she had intended to show Jamie. She slowly guided him into the room, weaving him along the path until they reached the centre of the room.

"You can open your eyes now," Billie whispered, letting go of his arm.

She watched as Jamie's eyes fluttered open, the instant childlike joy in his gaze was evident as he stared at the dozens of coloured lights that hung from the ceiling. He noticed how they never ended, seeming to go on forever and ever, shining vividly.

Infinitely.

"Not sure I've ever been in an art gallery before," Jamie whispered, "Didn't think it'd be like this."

"You like it?"

"Yeah," Jamie muttered, "It's cool as fuck, it's..." He looked at her, "Beautiful."

"I come here sometimes when I need to think, it makes the rest of the world feel quiet, reminds me that no matter what happens in life, the world remains infinite, it keeps spinning," Billie explained, keeping her eyes on the mirrored ceiling, while Jamie kept his eyes on her, the way the different colours of light danced over her skin.

"So, if you worked here for a bit, you must know a lot about it," Jamie muttered with a soft voice, "Tell me about it."

"I think the point is that we're part of the artwork," Billie explained, "And the artist says we should embrace self obliteration, which is the idea of abandoning physicality and selfhood, instead, choosing to embrace our surroundings."

Jamie kept his eyes on Billie, watching the way she spoke about the art was just as captivating as the art itself. 

"It's called Filled With The Brilliance of Life, and I know that today was far from brilliant, but I wanted to remind you that even in the dark, there can be colour too," Billie laid her eyes on Jamie, who was already looking at her, "You are so much more than just a footballer, Jamie."

Jamie's bruised knuckles brushed over Billie's delicate hand as they stood side by side, taking in the space in which they stood.

"Billie."

"Jamie." She smiled fondly.

"No one really gets me like you do," Jamie whispered, keeping his eyes on the side of her face as his heart beat steadily, "Are you sure you're real?"

"I reckon so." Billie smiled.

"Because sometimes I wonder if we were made to be in each other's lives."

Jamie was convinced that Billie knew him inside out, she understood him, and she cared about him, and they just got each other. Both of them had carried similar burdens of varying weights, but neither had been defined by it, rather, they grew as a result

Billie's heart grew with his words. The way he made her feel was incomparable to anything she'd experienced before, it was inexplicable, but she knew what it was, and she wasn't scared anymore.

"I think you might be my best friend." Billie whispered, unable to control the smile that lingered on her face.

"And you're mine."

"I need to ask you a question." Billie turned to face him, reminded of the fear that she had pushed to the back of her mind many months ago.

"I'm listening."

"Why did you really go quiet on me without saying goodbye last year?" Billie whispered.

Jamie felt his heartbeat grow faster, having become content with the fact that Billie said she didn't mind why he left, that she didn't need to know, "I suppose I thought it'd be better having you hate me for ghosting you than waiting for what we were to fizzle out, me being in Manchester and you being here."

'Tell him,' The voice in her head was finally willing her to put herself first rather than hiding amongst the physical world.

Dr Sharon's painkiller induced words ran through her mind, 'when it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump, otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life.'

"I need to tell you something." Billie blurted out before she could convince herself not to.

"Sounds scary."

You have no idea.

"I've been trying so hard to avoid this, to pretend that it's not real, and yet, no matter how hard I try everything seems to come back to you, Jamie, and I—"

"Security!" A loud voice startled the pair as they looked towards the entrance, "Don't move!"

"Fuck," Billie hissed, glancing over her shoulder to see that the exit door was clear. She looked back at the two men who were pointing torches at them, wondering what might have happened if they'd shown up two minutes later, at least she could have finally told Jamie the truth.

"What do we do?" Jamie whispered.

Billie slipped her hand around his, interlocking their fingers, "Run," She muttered.

Before the two security guards could react, Billie and Jamie ran towards the exhibition's exit, hand in hand, bursting through the door that took them to other side of the gallery which thankfully was closer to the employees' area.

"Don't fucking move!" A security guard called out as Billie and Jamie ran hand in hand, hearts thumping against their chests, weaving their way through the various statues and pieces of art.

"How'd they know we were here?" Jamie asked as the pair continued to run, their feet light against the ground compared to the security guards' heavy boots.

"I don't know!" Billie exclaimed, "They've obviously updated their security system in the last five years."

"It'd seem that way," Jamie nodded as he glanced over his shoulder to see that the two security guards were just metres away.

"They can't see you, you'll be all over the tabloids in the morning if this gets out," Billie reminded him as they reached the 'staff only' door, "Put your hood up."

"I've been in the papers for worse," Jamie laughed, pulling his hood up.

"What about this is funny?" Billie quipped as they hurried into the staff only area.

"Funniest thing that's happened to me all day," Jamie smirked as they reached the final door, "Not that there's much competition."

"Once we're outside they've got no authority," Billie told Jamie as she shoved the door open before running down the path back towards the river.

"Okay," Jamie exhaled as they reached the pavement overlooking the river, leaning against a small wall, "I think we lost them."

"We're clearly not cut out for the underworld," Billie laughed as she looked out at the river.

"Definitely not," Jamie sighed, "What was it that you wanted to tell me before they showed up?"

"Doesn't matter," Billie replied, "It'll keep."

author's note: king and queen of yearning!!!!!
i love them so much and their growth is so personal to me (we are so close to what we've all been waiting for, i promise!)