this is the second part of the funeral episode - make sure you've read 37 first!

Billie didn't really understand why they called the bit after a funeral a 'wake' when the person was going to sleep for eternity. It was one of life's many contradictions that she couldn't quite understand. She hadn't been to a funeral since she was fourteen, when her favourite grandmother died. It was a weird day, and it led her to question her opinion on mortality, she also ended up creating a playlist of songs she'd want played at her own funeral (naturally).

"Penny for them?" She turned to her right to see Ted stood beside her as her eyes remained trained on some family photos from Rebecca's childhood that were hung on the wall.

"I think that I think about death more than I should," Billie sighed, "Or rather, I wonder who'd be there when I die, like who'd be at my funeral."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd get a pretty good turn out," Ted smiled, "I know for sure there'd be one particular striker who'd be there, unless you know...he went first."

"No way," Billie shook her head, "I'd die first out of spite, not sure I could bear living in a world he's not in."

"We're not talking about Dani are we?" Ted sighed.

"No, Ted, we're not," Billie smiled, "How've you been? I was worried when you didn't show up to the team bus, sent you dozens of messages, apologies for that."

Since the revelation Ted had made at Wembley, Billie had made an extra effort to check in on the Coach. She'd often casually ask if he was alright, to which he'd simply reply with a chipper 'Ted-esque' response, because they were alike, and humour was their default response in those situations.

"It's alright, I appreciate you," Ted nodded, "I had another one of those...panic attacks."

"Are you alright?" Billie asked with genuine concern for his well being.

"Swings and roundabouts, ups and downs." Ted told her honestly.

"We're works in progress," Billie assured him, "And that's okay."

"Indeed we are," Ted nodded, "How have you been doing?"

"Better," Billie sighed honestly, "I understand myself a lot more than I did this time last year."

"That's good," Ted smiled fondly, only wanting the best for the young woman.

"And I think...for the first time since my relationship with Brad, I believe that I deserve the kind of love that feels like a Richard Curtis movie," Billie admitted, a small grin appearing on her lips.

"She's a darn miracle worker, isn't she?" Ted sighed, referring to the woman who had provided them both with solace and psychological support since she arrived in Richmond.

"It's like when you get your headphone wires all tangled up and she comes along and simply tells you how to untangle them," Billie explained, as Ted listened to her metaphor intently, "It feels complicated at first and then eventually it becomes second nature."

"You're hella good at these metaphors," Ted told her, because he thought she was a good person too, a good person who finally understood her place and the world and most importantly, believed that she deserved it too.

"I think I need to break it off with Sam," Rebecca told the three women who surrounded her as they stood in one of the many reception rooms of her childhood home.

"What?"

"Why?"

"It's not the age thing?" Sassy frowned.

"No, I'm not even sure..." Rebecca sighed.

"Wait, are you worried about press stuff?" Keeley asked, knowing that the media are a lot harsher on women who date younger men than they are on older men who date younger women.

"Because me and Keeley know people who know people," Billie told her, all three women staring at her blankly, "We know journalists who can be paid off easily."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"I know," Sassy empathised with a sombre expression, "Penis is too big, hurts your tiny little vagina."

"Yes that's it," Rebecca nodded as the women laughed.

"You three and your footballers," Sassy smirked, "Surprised you can walk straight."

"He's not my footballer, Sass," Billie sighed.

"So you were just holding hands platonically?" Sassy raised her eyebrows.

"But yeah, big dicks, it's a footballer thing," Billie promptly refocused the conversation.

"Speaking of which," Sassy smirked as she laid eyes on Ted.

"I'm gonna need an alcoholic drink and a double session of therapy," Billie exhaled heavily.

"How are those pent up daddy issues, Billie?" Sassy raised her eyebrows at the young woman.

"I don't have daddy issues," Billie scoffed, "Are child psychologists allowed to say 'daddy issues?'"

"Cool ones are," Sassy declared, "Right, I'm off."

They watched Sassy a move across the room to join him as two of the three other women giggled, Billie simply recoiled.

"Oh, there he is," Rebecca sighed, seeing Sam across the room, "Right, wish me luck."

"You got this," Keeley assured her.

"It'll be alright," Billie added in agreement, "Be gentle though, he's a good man."

"Oh, God, he's smiling," Rebecca sighed, "I hate to see him like this."

"You'll be great," Billie assured her before their tall blonde friend disappeared in search of her lover.

"I'm going to look for Roy," Keeley told her friend, "I'll come find you in a bit."

"Alright," Billie smiled, "I'll probably just talk to Nora about what bands the kids are listening to these days, I can't believe she was three when One Direction were formed."

"See you in a bit, Bils," Keeley smiled.

With not much else to do, Billie occupied herself at the drinks table, opting for a glass of coke, which she favoured over the taste of wine. Once she'd poured herself a glass, she looked up to see Jamie, approaching her slowly.

"Hi, Jamie," She smiled, placing a straw in her glass, "You want a drink?"

"Don't really know where to start to be honest," He told her, his hands buried in his jacket pockets, "I'm a bit all over the place."

"How about beer?" Billie suggested, not quite reading what he meant, "Not quite vanilla vodka, but it'll do."

She knew him. She knew him better than he knew himself. 

"Erm, no, thank you," Jamie sighed, letting his gaze wander up and down Billie's body, "Look...I know we're doing the just friends thing, and I know you're happy with that, but today's made me realise that life's too fucking short not to..."

Billie's heart was racing, she could hear it, she could feel it trying to burst through her chest.

"I didn't just come back to Richmond to get away from me dad," Jamie told her, "I also came back 'cause of you, and I finally think that I'm becoming the best version of myself, the kind of man that you always knew I could be."

She was so proud of him, so so proud, but she couldn't think about that in that moment, she was too focused on his words, on comprehending that what was happening wasn't a dream.

"And I know that this is a mad, shitty thing to do, but...I don't think I can spend the rest of my life being your friend," Jamie confessed, and Billie couldn't tell if she was losing him or not.

"You sure pick your moments to let a girl down, Jamie," Billie smiled, because she was a deflector, and she relied on humour to protect her from getting hurt.

"No, I didn't mean it like that," Jamie corrected himself, "I just meant that I want us to do this properly because the whole funeral thing made me realise that life's too short to pretend I'm not in love with you."

"What?" Billie muttered, her eyes glossing over as she stared him.

"I love you, Billie," Jamie told her "And if you don't feel the same, I would understand and we can pretend this conversation never happened, but I know I'd regret it if I didn't tell you."

"What did you just say?" Billie whispered, not quite believing his words.

"If you don't feel the same, I would understand and we can pretend this conversation never happened," Jamie replied.

"No, the other bit."

"I love you."

The words were as real as the feelings that Billie had been doing her best to suppress, the feelings that were too strong to be forgotten. That love is like a blooming garden, because if that garden has the right amount of sunlight (happiness), hydration (trust), air (understanding), warmth (comfort) and nutrients (love), there's nothing that can be done to stop it from growing and blooming into beautiful life.

"Someone recently told me that the best person to fall in love with is your best friend." Billie smiled as she looked up at Jamie.

"What are you saying?" Jamie muttered, not wanting to make Billie uncomfortable by presuming.

"I love you too, Jamie," Billie grinned, unable to stop herself from smiling as she leant towards him, whispering in his ear, "If we weren't at a funeral, I'd kiss you right now."

"You wanna get out of here?" Jamie smiled at her words, unable to shake his smile, not that he wanted to.

"I mean..." Billie looked around the room for people who might miss them and failed to lay eyes on anyone she recognised, "Fuck it, let's go."

The pair weaved their way through the large house, keeping their heads down and making their way outside, managing to avoid questions or conversation starters from their various friends and colleagues who were littered across the house.

Once they'd made it outside they strolled down the gravel driveway, laying eyes on the team bus that would be taking their friends home hours later. It also offered a reminder of how far they'd come, how much they'd changed, and how none of it would've happened if Roy hadn't secured Billie that job.

"So, where to?" Jamie asked as they strolled along the pavement, his hands buried in his pockets, wishing he could hold her hand without fear of a Richmond fan witnessing the interaction, taking a photo and posting it online, he wanted what they had to exist in its own sacred little bubble as long as physically possible.

"Mine or yours?" Billie smirked, as she looked up at him.

"We're nearer yours," Jamie told her, "But if that's gonna be a problem with Madison and Alfie being home, we can get a taxi back to mine."

"I'll just check," Billie pulled her phone out of her bag, opening Instagram, checking Alfie's story first which had a photo of his pint of beer in a pub in Clapham taken twenty minutes ago. She then checked Madison's and found no sign of where she was, so instead she simply texted to ask if she was home, checking the time and assuming she'd have finished work for the day.

Once Billie had returned her phone back to her pocket she felt Jamie's hand interlock with hers as he pulled her into a quiet narrow side road. He let go of her hand, instead holding onto her waist as he guided her backwards until they were leaning against a wall, Billie looking up at him with an eager smile. 

"I'm gonna kiss you now." Jamie whispered, brushing her hair out of her face, discarding his previous concerns for just a moment, because he really, really wanted to kiss her.

"What if someone sees?" Billie frowned.

"Billie, we've waited long enough, I really don't give a shit who sees us."

"Well, when you put it like that," Billie smirked, resting her hand on the base of his neck and pulling him close, her lips almost instantly melting into his, neither of them could contain their smiles as they kissed, she didn't mind the taste of beer that lingered on his lips, she loved the way it felt to kiss him since they'd admitted to being in love. She pulled away momentarily, looking up at the man she could proudly admit that she was in love with, "Guess what?"

"What?" Jamie smiled.

"We're an 'us' now." Billie beamed. The feeling that rushed through her body was truly inexplicable, a strong current of euphoria, like that same lightning Roy had spoken of so many months ago. Roy was right, Billie deserved someone who made her feel like she'd been 'struck by fucking lightning,' and she'd found that in Jamie.

"I fucking love the sound of that," Jamie grinned against her lips as he peppered kisses against her lips.

"And I fucking love you," Billie whispered, running her fingers over his cheekbones, "But we really need to get back to mine."

The door to Billie's flat had barely closed before Jamie's hands were on her waist, guiding her up the stairs. Both individuals hoped that they had the flat to themselves, rather than having to make polite, awkward conversation with Madison and Alfie while trying to ignore the sexual tension that had been building up on the twenty minute walk home.

"Hello," Billie called out as she reached the top of the stairs, observing an empty living room and kitchen, "Anyone home?"

"I think it's just us, Bils," Jamie leant against the banister, watching as she peered around each door in her flat, checking for signs of life.

"I just want to be sure," She muttered, looking into Alfie's tidy bedroom after checking Madison's, which was also empty, the bathroom door was also wide open, leading Billie to conclude that no one else was home, as Jamie smiled out of amusement and love.

"So?"

"We're good," Billie nodded, rushing towards Jamie and wrapping her arms around his shoulders as their lips collided, "Really fucking good."

Billie guided Jamie around her sofa and towards his bedroom as they continued to kiss, the backs of her legs collided with the edge of the sofa, but Jamie's embrace was enough to keep her from falling. His back hit her bedroom door and he promptly kicked it open with his foot.

Once they'd crossed the threshold, Jamie reached over Billie's shoulder, pushing the door shut before his hands found their place on her neck, deepening their already heavy kisses.

Without instruction Billie unbuttoned Jamie's suit jacket, running her hands over his shoulders and slipping it off of his arms.

"I've never met anyone like you, Billie Kent," Jamie muttered as Billie struggled to undo his tie.

"Ditto," Billie whispered as she freed his neck from the restrictive black tie, tossing it on the floor.

"Ditto?"

"Mmhmm," Billie mumbled as she began unbuttoning his shirt, "So many fucking buttons."

"Forgot how filthy that mouth of yours can be," Jamie muttered against her lips.

"Bet you never thought you'd her it again," Billie smirked as she reached the last button, slipping  Jamie's shirt off of his shoulders.

"Sounds like a fucking angel," Jamie grinned, his teeth tugging at his bottom lip as he gazed down at her.

Billie, who was still fully dressed, grazed a hand over Jamie's crotch, unable to hide the smirk on her face when she felt how ready he already was.

"You playing with fire?" Jamie murmured, running a hand up her back, tugging on the zip at the back of her dress.

"Never been afraid of getting burnt," Billie teased, trailing a hand up his abdomen, peppering kisses over his neck, "Why start now?"

"You're such a fucking tease," Jamie smirked as she slipped her dress off her body, feeling himself tense up when he laid eyes on her sheer black bra.

Billie felt Jamie's warm hands on her waist as he tugged on the waistband of her tights, kneeling down in front of her as he slowly pulled them down her legs, watching as she aided him by kicking off her boots.

Once her boots and tights had been discarded, Jamie pressed his lips to her leg, trailing slow kisses up the inside of her thigh as Billie's skin grew warm, her heart thumping against her chest as she looked down at him, on his knees for her. He reached her underwear, pressing a kiss to the waistband and then over the cotton fabric, smirking as Billie's breath hitched.

Billie was a pooling mess under his spell, sitting herself on the end of her bed as Jamie stood up in front of her. He stood between her legs as she slowly undid his belt, maintaining eye contact as she freed the belt from the loops in his trousers, dropping it on the floor before she unbuttoned his suit trousers.

He always looked fucking good in a suit.

Billie was impatient and craving any form of friction, so she pulled Jamie towards herself, falling back onto the mattress as Jamie used a hand to stop himself from collapsing on top of her.

"I need you," Billie whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"Don't want to rush this," Jamie murmured against her neck as he trailed kisses across the now warm skin, "Wanna remember it."

His boxers were tight and restrictive, and he desperately wanted all of her, but he didn't want to mess it up. He'd done the one night stand thing, and this wasn't that, it was something else, because he cared, he loved and he was loved.

"Jamie," Billie pulled him closer as he hovered over her, she rolled her hips against his, which only undid some of the tension in her body as Jamie's head remained buried in the crook of her neck, plying kisses to her skin that would no doubt leave marks in the morning, "Please."

"Always found it hard to say no to you," Jamie mumbled as his hands slipped under her body, unclasping her bra before sliding it off of her body, doing the same with her underwear before she removed his boxers, anticipation was killing the both of them, "You want this, yeah?"

"Of course I do," Billie writhed under his body in frustration.

Jamie's hands found her thighs, tugging her body closer before he slowly buried himself inside her. He noticed the way she winced in discomfort, "You alright?"

"It's just been a while." Billie assured him, resting her hands on his shoulders as she adjusted her body to a more comfortable position.

"You've not-"

"Not since the last time you and I..."

"Oh," Jamie paused, overcome by a wave of guilt, because whether or not Billie's period of abstinence was intentional, he'd had sex...on a TV show, "I'm sorry."

"What have you got to be sorry for?" Billie tilted her head to the side as she frowned in confusion.

"Having jacuzzi sex on TV." Jamie muttered awkwardly as he hovered over her.

"I don't care, I didn't watch it and I don't even like jacuzzis, it's in the past, just like Brad," Billie assured him, "But at present, your dick is very much inside of me, so we should probably...not talk about jacuzzi sex."

"You fucking amaze me, Billie Kent," Jamie muttered as he placed a long kiss to Billie's lips as he slowly thrusted against her. She threaded her hands through his hair, still adjusting to the feeling of how he filled her. It had been a fucking while, that's for sure.

Their kisses were hungry, Billie's lips often wandered from Jamie's mouth to his neck and then back to his mouth. She had waited what felt like a lifetime to feel that way with him, and being there with him like that in the safety of her bedroom, well it was worth every second.

Jamie was clearly nervous, because he wanted to take care of her, his thrusts were slow, but Billie could tell that he was holding back. They'd had sex before, she knew what he was like, but this was different, not bad different, she just had a tendency to get in her own head.

"Jamie," Billie muttered against his shoulder as he rocked against her, "I'm not a fragile china doll."

"I don't want to ruin it," Jamie whispered.

"You won't ruin it," Billie insisted, running a hand over his cheek, "I trust you and I love you."

She loved him, and hearing that would never get old, and its meaning would never fade.

Jamie interlocked one hand with Billie's (he had never done that during sex), resting it on the pillow above her head as he deepened his thrusts, the look on her face told him that she liked it. His movement caused moans to fall from her lips, nestling her head into his neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist, a need to feel him even closer, regardless of the sweat that laced their bodies, she didn't care.

"I love you," Jamie muttered through their tangled breaths.

"I love you," Billie whispered, plying kisses to his jaw.

It wasn't long after that when the world fell quiet, the two now lovers lay in her bed, blanketed by silence. But it didn't matter, because they could exist in each other's company, be it at a funeral, or in a lull of post sex fatigue.

Billie's head was resting on Jamie's bare chest as she stared out of the window, looking up at the sky, admiring how it was yet to set, one of the things she loved most about the warmer months in London.

"Jamie," Billie looked up at him, his hand resting on the small of her back, "Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jamie frowned, having no intention of leaving that flat unless Billie was by his side.

"Brad never was," The remaining traces of Billie's doubts lingered in her mind, "He got what he wanted and then left again."

"Babe," Jamie soothed and the name made her grin, "I ain't going anywhere."

author's note: WE DID IT JOE!!!! BILLIEJAMIE NATION RISE UP!

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who reads this story, and extra special thank you to everyone who comments & votes (i love seeing your reactions).

it was important to me that billie and jamie didn't rush straight into a relationship, they needed to heal and love themselves before truly loving each other, so thanks for sticking with this story and adoring them too <3

(i hope you're all ready for some well deserved chapters of loved up wholesome domestic bliss between our two lovers)