we're back besties! starting with one chapter but it's a longer one so enjoy!!!

"I wish we could've stayed forever."

"Me too, babe," Jamie sighed as he pushed the luggage trolley through Heathrow Airport's busy concourse, Billie close by his side, "I don't think I'd ever get sick of all that food."

The pair had returned from a long weekend in Portugal ahead of Richmond's return to the Premier League. It was just what they needed, both having been individually busy throughout the summer. Jamie had been training tirelessly, and he was in the best shape he'd ever been, his chest was broader and his arms were stronger (Billie noticed it every time he wrapped his arms around her).

Billie had also been working hard, picking up various freelance jobs alongside her role at Richmond. Following her success with the Lionesses, she'd been approached by various publications and brands, requesting for her to shoot their campaigns. It was overwhelming, but with consistent reminders from Jamie, she affirmed that she had earnt those opportunities.

And for once, she wasn't just behind the camera.

"Aha!" Jamie grinned as he approached a nearby newsagent's on the airport concourse, "I bet they've got copies."

"Jamie, I really don't think-"

"I ain't taking no for an answer, Bils," Jamie told her as he led the way into the small shop that was often frequented by holidaymakers looking for a book, newspaper or magazine to read on their flight, "This is fucking mega."

"Fine," Billie hummed, unable to hide her smile at his eagerness to support her achievements, watching Jamie as he scanned the shelves for a familiar face.

"Here we go," Jamie smiled with pride as he held up a copy of Rollacoaster magazine with Billie on the front cover, "I'm fucking proud of you, babe."

"Thank you," Billie smiled fondly as she wrapped her arms around his torso, "Now, let's go, can't keep my brother waiting too long, can we?"

"Just a minute," Jamie picked up several copies of the magazine.

"What are you doing?" Billie frowned as she let go of him.

"One for you, one for me, one for Phoebe, one for Roy, one for Ted and me mum also wants one," Jamie informed her with a proud grin.

"You don't need to do that, J," Billie sighed as she watched him place the stack of magazines on top of their luggage on the trolley.

"But I want to," He assured her, "And these will be flying off the shelves like those eccles cakes we used to get at home."

"Didn't think it was possible to fall even more in love with you," Billie smirked up at him, the pair of them wearing matching caps with 'Portugal' printed on them that allowed them to blend in more, Jamie's was pink and Billie's was green.

"I'd kiss you right now if we weren't in Heathrow Airport," Jamie whispered, oblivious to passers by as he admired her smile.

"Soon," Billie assured him, "I don't know when, but soon."

"I'll always be your biggest fan, Kent," Jamie grinned with pride, because it was true, she was everything to him, and he felt like the luckiest man alive that he was able to call her his girlfriend.

It was something they had spoken about a couple of times since the start of summer, they both knew there were rumours circulating, rumours that neither of them had chosen to address. They liked existing in their own little bubble of privacy, there were only a few people in their lives that knew, and they were pretty sure the team were still none the wiser.

They were both also conscious of protecting the relationship they valued so much. Their previous relationships had both been pretty public, and they knew that could cause a strain on a relationship, and as much as Jamie was ready to shout his love for Billie from the rooftops, he respected that she wasn't ready for the media's involvement and opinions on their relationship.

"You ready to see our little fluffy boy?" Jamie grinned as he returned to Billie, having paid for the stack of six magazines.

"I know you and my brother are on better terms, but I might have to draw the line at chest hair based pet names," Billie smiled.

"I'm talking about Nelson," Jamie laughed, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head.

"I know, J," Billie hummed with a grin, "I'm only teasing."

Nelson was quite the unexpected addition to Billie's life, she hadn't planned on becoming a dog mum, at least not right away, but it all just seemed to fall into place. He turned up in the backyard of the Crown and Anchor when Billie was visiting some time during August. He was quite obviously a stray, he hadn't been fed, his fur was matted and the only way he would settle was when Billie fed him pork scratchings.

Billie took him to the local vet to get him checked for a microchip, and they found no trace. The vet then told Billie he could send the dog to Battersea Dogs Home on her behalf. But Billie was a nurturer, not just of humans, so she wanted to be sure the pup was taken care of the way she took care of her best boys at work.

So when Jamie arrived in his car to drive her back to his house for the night, he was greeted with the sight of her and a nervous black labradoodle.

Of course Billie and Jamie didn't live together, and they'd only been together for about four months, but when Billie told Jamie she couldn't bear the thought of sending the tentative pup to a dog's home, and that she planned on keeping the dog, Jamie immediately thought of him as his own too.

Where Billie went, Nelson followed, whether it be the occasional photoshoot at work, or a sleepover at Jamie's, Nelson would be there. Otherwise, he'd spend his days with Alfie if he was working from home. 

"Come on," Jamie smirked, "Let's get you home."

"We're not going home, J," Billie told him, "Training starts today, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Jamie nodded, recalling the conversation they'd had about Roy's generous offer to pick them up from the airport so they could all head to training together instead of relying on a taxi.

"Come on, pretty boy," Billie smiled up at him, "And let's hope there's no one from the press lurking, wanting to see what we think about what everyone's saying about how they think Richmond will do this season."

"Well, I'm sure that big brother of yours will sort 'em out for us," Jamie assured her as they strolled along the concourse towards the pickup point.

"It's you!" A young brunette girl appeared in front of them.

"Yeah," Jamie nodded, "You a Richmond fan?"

"No," The girl laughed, "I'm a Billie Kent fan."

"Me?" Billie raised her eyebrows in amazement.

"Yeah," The girl smiled, "I want to be a photographer like you one day."

"Would you like a picture with our Billie?" Jamie suggested, grinning with pride on behalf of his girlfriend, delighted to see a girl a few years older than Phoebe, also thinking of Billie as a role model.

"Yes please!" The girl smiled, pulling her phone out of her pocket and handing it to Jamie.

Billie stood beside the young girl as Jamie snapped a couple of photos of the two of them smiling, before handing the phone back to her.

"Thank you!" The girl quickly hugged Billie before running off towards a woman the pair assumed was her mother.

"Now that was fucking cute," Jamie smiled as the pair continued to head towards where Roy would be waiting for them.

"It was, wasn't it?" Billie grinned as they walked side by side, catching sight of an ever familiar face, who's sunny disposition was cloudier than usual, "Is that-"

"Ted."

"Oh, hey," The American coach looked up from his phone to see Jamie and Billie standing before him, "If it ain't love's young dream, what brings you two here?"

"We just got back from our trip to Portugal," Billie told him, promptly understanding why Ted was there, "How's the little guy?"

On her few down days over the summer, Billie found herself spending the occasional afternoon at the park with Ted and Henry, or an evening watching the most family friendly romcoms. Jamie would often join them on those evenings, sitting on the floor in front of the TV playing FIFA with Henry while Ted and Billie sat on the couch behind them.

"Boarding his plane back home as we speak," Ted sighed solemnly.

"And you?"

"I'll be okay," Ted assured the pair.

Billie wasn't sure she believed him, but she knew that if and when he wanted to talk about what was weighing on his mind, he'd tell her, "Roy's driving us back to Richmond if you want a lift?"

"That's very kind, Sporty Spice," Ted smiled, "But I've already booked a cab, got a call booked with the Doc in five minutes."

"Alright," Billie nodded, "Tell her we said hi."

Billie might have been what people would refer to as 'healed,' but that didn't mean that she couldn't benefit from a bit of therapy. Much like a thriving garden with all the necessary nutrients, she still needed someone on hand to help tend to the garden. She didn't require Dr Sharon's weekly therapy sessions anymore, but whenever she had a wobble, Dr Sharon was at the end of the phone to listen and support the young woman.

"God, you look incredible," Rebecca grinned as Billie wandered into her office, sun kissed and ready to hit the ground running.

"I know we've all agreed that God is in fact a woman, but I am positive she's not me," Billie mused as the football club owner wrapped her in a tight hug.

"Oh, I've missed you and your wit," Rebecca sighed as she held onto the girl.

"I saw you on Thursday," Billie smiled.

"I know, I know, but with you away for the weekend and Keeley running her own company, I've been missing my best girls," Rebecca told her, "Higgins isn't entirely well versed on girl talk."

"Alright, Higgins?" Billie saluted the man who was seated on the couch.

"I am, despite the press attention," Higgins admitted.

"Press attention?" Billie remarked as she sat beside him on the couch.

"The predictions for where we'll finish this season," He explained, "I thought you were friends with Alfie over at The Guardian."

"Yeah, we've been best mates for years, we live together," Billie reminded him.

"Well, he reckons we'll finish twentieth this season," Higgins huffed in despair.

"Cheeky shit," Billie muttered, still commending his professional impartiality despite his links to the club, "What about Terry?"

"Same, unfortunately," Higgins replied, having asked Billie for Alfie's contact details during the summer in the hopes that he might be able to give some advice to his ten year old son who had started a sports blog.

"Hey, y'all," Ted entered the office with a half hearted smile.

"Hey, Ted."

"Good morning, Ted," Higgins smiled.

"No rhyming salutation, something wrong?" Rebecca frowned as she stood behind her desk.

"Way to notice, Amos Otis," Ted replied, clutching a small pink box, "Henry went back to Kansas this morning."

"Thank you," Rebecca smiled as he handed over the small pink box of shortbreads.

"Dropped him off at the airport a little bit ago," Ted explained, "Now he's up in a plane, ten thousand feet in the sky."

l"I think they fly higher than that," Billie muttered.

"Definitely," Higgins nodded.

"Yeah, well, I'm down here on earth, checking my phone every ten minutes, watching his plane get further and further away," Ted told the group, "But, hey, I didn't mean to come and tinkle on y'all's toenails, what's the buzz? Tell me what's happening."

"Well, apparently, everyone alive has picked Richmond to finish in twentieth place this season," Rebecca remarked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Except the Daily Mirror, which has us finishing twentyelf, an adorable but devastating typo," Higgins remarked.

"You can't trust the Daily Mirror," Billie told the room, Higgins and Rebecca nodding in agreement, "They're one below The Sun in my list of least favourite newspapers."

"Okay, well I predict all their predictions ain't gonna come true," Ted replied, "So, it looks like we got ourselves a prediction Mexican standoff, or as they call them in Mexico, a prediction standoff."

"Well, the worst part is that they've picked Rupert to finish in the top four," Rebecca sighed.

"Rupert's gonna play this year?" Ted exclaimed.

"She means West Ham," Billie whispered, having a strong understanding of Rebecca's valid resentment towards her ex husband.

"Precisely, everyone thinks he's better than us," Rebecca added.

"They," Ted corrected, "Everyone thinks they are better than us."

"Yes, that's what I said, They," Rebecca nodded, "So what's the plan? How are we gonna beat him?"

"Them."

"Exactly."

"You know, this might be a good time for us to update our roster, put some more firepower in the team," Higgins suggested, fearing that the time should've taken advantage of the summer transfer window.

"That is a great idea, Leslie," Rebecca agreed, "Let's put some feelers out, shall we? Any suggestions?"

"I still say you should've snatched Liam up before West Ham signed him, he would've been a perfect asset to our midfield," Billie told the group who stared at her with faces of astonishment, "What? I played a lot of FIFA over the summer."

"Letting Liam Carter slip through our fingers was a huge oversight," Higgins sighed, having approached both Richmond's club owner and manager the minute he heard murmurs of the young player hoping to leave his contract with Chelsea.

"If you want to poach from the blues, I've heard Mount's getting itchy feet," Billie replied, "Or there's Havertz, he'd be a phenomenal addition."

"Your brother must be so proud of you," Higgins smiled, holding a hand to his heart, admiring the young woman's knowledge of the game.

"I know Roy and Coach Beard are working on some new tactics," Ted recalibrated the conversation, "And you know, the fellas we got are already gelling real nice."

"That's true, we're organising a weekly Come Dine With Me night this season," Billie sighed.

"I think we're gonna do just fine this season," Ted added.

"Ted, this team doing 'just fine' is a far cry from you telling me we're going to win the whole fucking thing," Rebecca remarked.

"Woah!"

"Did I really say that?" Ted replied.

"Yes, you did," Rebecca nodded, "Over there after the Man City loss, just before you blasted half a litre of Pellegrino in my face."

"I really hope that's not a euphemism," Billie muttered.

"That is the Ted Lasso I want coaching my team this season," Rebecca insisted with raised eyebrows, "The one who's willing to fight, understood?"

"Yes ma'am," Ted saluted, "You watch, from now on, I'll be floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee, except I won't die immediately after using my stinger, I plan to float and sting for the entirety of the season."

"Excellent, right," Rebecca nodded, "Well, I've got a lunch meeting with one Ms Keeley Jones, will you be joining us, Billie?"

"Not today, got a tonne of work to catch up on," Billie told her, and it was true to an extent, she just wasn't entirely sure how to approach a lunch meeting with the woman she considered a chosen sister, knowing that her brother had, well...

"Understood," Rebecca nodded as she collected her bag, and headed towards the door, also aware of the circumstances that put Billie in a compromising position.

"But give her my love," Billie added, even though all three women knew that the love that existed between the three of them was there, spoken or not.

"Hey," Ted added, "Tell her we say howdy and..."

"Yo." Higgins remarked in a state of perplexity.

"You say yo?" Ted raised his eyebrows as Rebecca made a swift exit.

"Yeah, I know, it just popped out-" Higgins admitted.

"Bold choice."

As was Jamie Tartt's choice of outfit for the day, the striker chose to sport an orange sweatshirt, black PVC gilet and orange bum bag across his body. To call it a look was an understatement, but he was happy to experiment with fashion, and he had the confidence to make it work in his own Jamie Tartt way.

"What? Another one? Dead last" Isaac exclaimed as Billie looked up from her phone where she was seated beside Jamie, his left foot resting in her lap.

"Dead last?" Sam frowned, "Who wrote that?"

"Fucking everybody, bruv," Isaac frowned as he stood up from the bench, "Glenn Hoddle, Graeme Souness, Jermaine Jenas-"

"Maybe they're trying to motivate us," Dani, ever the optimist, was quick to suggest.

"I had a woman accost me on the street, telling me I should fake an injury this season so I wouldn't have to deal with the misery," Colin told the team.

"Please tell me you told her to piss off, Col," Billie spoke up from where she was sitting beside Jamie.

"I didn't, she was a nun," Colin sighed.

"Nuns watch football?"

"I suppose they must get Sky Sports in the monasteries," Colin shrugged.

"Makes sense," Billie nodded, "She could've at least offered to pray for you fellas."

"Oh, Bils," Isaac called out, looking up from his phone, "You ain't gonna like this one."

"Don't tell me, Josh Hutcherson reckons we'll finish last," Billie sighed.

"Worse," Isaac exhaled, "Niall Horan, he was on TalkSport, said he hoped we'd get relegated so Derby could get promoted."

"I knew there was a reason Louis' always been my favourite," Billie sighed as the team muttered amongst themselves, anxious about the looming season.

"Hey, hey, hey, lads, hey," Jamie addressed the room, "We ain't gonna get relegated 'cause we're together."

Billie looked up at the ceiling, knowing her boyfriend the way she did, she knew what was to come.

"And together, we got me," He pointed at himself as the team groaned, knowing that he didn't mean it in the way he might've done two years ago.

"Statistically speaking, most teams who get promoted are relegated the very next year," Jan added his ever honest opinion to the mix, the team groaning in despair.

"Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas," His captain offered a firm warning.

"It's the Premier League, it's just statistics," Jan attempted to shrug it off.

"Where's Nelson?" Colin frowned, noting the absence of Billie's 'son' who had been in regular attendance at various pre season photoshoots.

"Sleeping on my bed probably," Billie replied, "He had a busy weekend with Uncle Roy."

"Alfie mentioned that you went away for the weekend," Colin glanced across the room at Jamie, having more or less slotted all the pieces together.

"Cultural shit," Billie nodded, "Right, well I'll be leaving you fellas to it," She told the room before Colin could ask any further questions, "One of us has got to do some real work around here."

"Bye, Billie!" The boys called out in a harmonious chorus as she left the room, heading for her office.

"It's good to be back though, right?" Sam attempted to motivate his team.

"Yeah, it was a pretty great summer though," Colin smiled fondly, reminded of the weeks he had spent in the company of his new partner, with whom he was promptly besotted.

"What about you, mate?" Isaac looked over at Jamie, "Feels like we've barely seen you apart from Billie's birthday and training."

It was true to an extent, any time that Jamie didn't spend in preseason training with the team, he spent with Billie when she wasn't working, and she had been pretty busy over the summer. If she was away for work, he'd either visit her, or offer to look after Phoebe if needed. He just loved Billie more than words could explain, and he loved being close to her, and there was a large part of his inner child that loved being around her family too.

"Bit of this, bit of that," Jamie decided to play it coy, knowing that he and Billie had planned to tell the team soon, just not yet, "Billie and I went to see Harry Styles at Wembley, let's just say I look fucking phenomenal in a feather boa."

Unbeknownst to Jamie, the team shared knowing glances, Colin recalled the Instagram post that Billie had made on the night of the concert, the caption had confirmed what he already knew. Jamie knew that the team could be trusted, it was just that he wanted to protect their relationship in its own special bubble as long as he could.

Billie Kent might still have had a lot to learn about the world of football, but even she knew that a team who had been promoted to the Premier League were meant to have more of a pep in their step. It was a challenge to photograph them as they went through their aerobic training drills, because they all looked what could only be described as glum.

Despite this, they looked good, with a new sponsorship deal from Nike, their training kits had been upgraded from the previous season. They were dressed in uniforms of navy blue and black, they looked sleek and sharp, like a team who deserved to be back in the Premier League. She especially loved how the kit looked on Jamie.

"You know who else picked us to finish last?" Sam asked as he waited his turn to go through the training drill made up of ladders and small hurdles.

"Please don't say Adele," Colin sighed, having been in her top two percent of Spotify listeners the year before.

Sam shook his head in dismay before weaving through the agility style poles, "Paddington Bear, it was on his Twitter account."

"Yeah, I saw that," Jamie added in agreement as he worked around the poles, "On a scale of one marmalade sandwich to five marmalade sandwiches, we've got no marmalade sandwiches."

"Hey, Paddington doesn't know shit," Billie assured the boys from where she stood beside Will, her camera hanging from her neck, "His favourite preserve is marmalade, which is mental, strawberry jam is obviously the best."

"Billie's got a point," Colin nodded.

"I love the Paddington movies," Will sighed with a fond smile.

"Pretty boy and I watched both Paddington movies last weekend, we cried at both," Billie told him solemnly.

"What the heck is going on out here?" Ted asked as Billie returned to his side, "These guys are more distracted than a bunch of cats playing laser tag."

"I know right!" Billie added in agreement, "I've not got one good photo of any of them today, they're all either blinking or looking so miserable that people will start calling Childline on us."

"They're adults."

"Until last week, Isaac didn't know you could cook baked beans in a microwave, they're kids," Billie assured her brother.

"Fucking love cheesy baked beans," Roy huffed.

"They heard all the pundits saying we suck," Beard admitted, giving his coach and dear friend a truthful answer.

"Fuck pundits," Roy groaned.

"You were a pundit," Beard reminded him as Billie feared old age was catching up with him, inadvertently causing early onset memory loss.

"Yeah, and all we did was talk shit and eat fucking meringues," Roy retorted, cringing at the role he had briefly called his job.

"Hey, no one's ever had a bad word to say about meringues," Billie quipped, "Except our dad, that one time me and Roy tried to make lemon meringue pie."

"Fucking love lemon meringue pie," Roy nodded.

"I still reckon you'd have smashed Celebrity Masterchef," Billie nudged her brother, referring to the countless offers to appear on various TV shows since he retired from playing, the likes of Would I Lie To You, SAS: Who Dares Wins and Celebrity Masterchef, all flooding his emails with requests, "I could see if they still want you, now that you've got all that spare time on your hands, might take your mind off..."

Roy furrowed his brows as he glared down at his sister.

"Or you could just take up boxercise, that works," Billie muttered.

"Hey, Coach," Ted turned to Beard, "I don't know about you, but kinda feels like it's getting a little stuffy in here, yeah?"

"Like one of those days you wanna have class outside?" Beard offered him a grin.

"Oh, I hear you," Billie nodded, with an understanding of Ted's intentions to distract the boys from the looming season.

"What the fuck are you three talking about?" Roy frowned at the trio, "We are outside."

Ted, Beard and Billie simply laughed amongst themselves before Ted looked over to Will, who was attempting to balance water bottles on his knees, "Hey, Will, come here."

"Yeah," Will hurried over with a tentative grin.

"Hey, is Kenneth around today?" Ted asked the young kitman.

"Yeah, Kenneth lives here," Will nodded.

"Yeah, he does work a lot, doesn't he?" Ted chuckled, not quite understanding what the youngster meant.

"No, no, no," Will shook his head, "As in, he literally lives here at the facility."

"He does?" Ted frowned, "Since when?"

"Ever since his cult got shut down," Will sighed with empathy.

"Kenneth was in a cult?"

"No, no, no, no, no," Will muttered, "He was the leader of one."

"Kind of makes sense why he'd tell me to open my mind and soul to opportunity every time I saw him," Billie sighed, "Just assumed he'd been reading me the inside of his fortune cookies."

"Would you mind asking him to bring the team bus around for me?" Ted asked the young man.

"Yeah, yeah," Will nodded eagerly, before hurrying off to find Kenneth.

"Shall we?" Ted glanced at Beard, who offered a simple nod before the head coach blew his whistle, bringing the team to a halt, "This segment of today's training is now complete, I need everyone to go hop on the bus, we're taking practice on the road, and last one in the parking lot has to eat a little bug!"

Billie feared that she too was part of this wager, scooting closer to Jamie, not wanting to consume anything that resembled a bug.

"Everyone run except Roy, let's go!" Ted exclaimed, running towards the parking lot.

Jamie, knowing his girlfriend the way he did, quickly crouched in front of Billie, allowing her to climb onto his back before he promptly raced towards the team bus, carrying her on his back.

"What was it they said about riding a footballer?" She teased as he continued to run, not wanting either of them to face the forfeit of eating a bug (although if it came to it, he would've taken the forfeit on her behalf).

"I'm tryna concentrate, babe!" Jamie hissed, the last thing he needed before a trip on the team bus was for his mind to go there.

"You're a good boy, Tartt," She placed a quick kiss on his cheek, her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

Billie loved travelling on the team bus with her favourite boys, regardless of whether it was a five hour trip up north, or a fifteen minute drive across town. She especially adored that the boys were as happy to be on the bus as kids going on a school trip, perhaps because none of them had experienced that as children.

It was also an endearing sight to see the boys battling amongst themselves to sit beside her, but they always let her have the final say. If she wanted to rest, she sat beside Sam, if she wanted a laugh, she'd sit beside Isaac or Colin, if she wanted a cuddle, she'd be beside Jamie.

"Come on, fellas, and Billie," Ted waved the team over to where he stood beside an open drain, accompanied by a man who none of the team recognised, "Here we are!"

"He can't truly be serious," Billie sighed as Jamie stood beside her, the pair eying up the open drain.

"Okay, here we go, fellas," Ted gestured to the drain, "Down the hatch."

Billie weaved her way through the team, standing beside Colin, "You gonna be okay with this, boyo?" She nudged him, "Claustrophobia, and all that."

"I'm a strong and capable man," Colin repeated the mantra that he hadn't needed to rely on in a long time.

"This is not what I imagined it'd be like being back in the Premier League," Billie sighed as she watched Sam take one for the team and climb down into the drain.

"Roy Kent, is that you?" A male voice called out from across the street, catching the attention of the team, who looked up to see two maintenance workers.

"Get fucked!" Roy shouted back.

"Yeah, that's definitely him," The man shared a laugh with his friend.

"You got this, boyo," Billie gave her Welsh friend a thumbs up of reassurance as he took his turn to climb down the drain.

"You go after me, alright, babe?" Jamie nudged his girlfriend as they watched the rest of the team file down the drain.

"So you get a proper good look at my arse?" Billie smirked at him.

"Well, I was actually thinking that if you slipped and fell, I'd break your fall," Jamie assured her, "Looking up at your arse is just an added bonus."

"And here I was thinking you were just being a caring and loving boyfriend," Billie rolled her eyes as various members of the team filed down into the sewers.

"That whole thing about how men can't multitask is actually a myth," Jamie wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest, "I can love you and care for you at the same time as appreciating your arse."

"Fuck off," Billie laughed, looking up at him.

She would've kissed him then and there if she had the chance.

"Tartt, Kent, let's move," Roy's harsh voice startled them both, leading them to realise that the rest of the team had already made their way underground.

Once Jamie and the two Kent siblings had made their way down the ladder, they joined the rest of their team and coaches, underground, overlooking what could only be described as a river of shit.

"Alright, Greyhounds, behold the majesty of the London sewer system," Ted exclaimed as the team covered their noses, Will doing his best not to turn green, having a reasonably weak stomach for bad smells.

"Disgusting," Jamie muttered, covering his nose with the collar of his top.

"Yeah, that's what I thought at first as well," Ted added in agreement.

"But then, over the summer, Henry and I took a tour of this place with Ivor here," Ted explained.

"Why would you take your kid for a tour of a sewer?" Colin frowned, most of his childhood days out having consisted of theme parks and zoos, while neither Jamie or Billie had experienced those simple joys.

"Well, it was his idea, actually," Ted told the team, "See, what happened was, on his plane ride over here, the fella sitting next to him was watching that horror movie, It, and Henry accidentally ended up watching it too."

"Fucking hate horror movies," Billie muttered.

"I know, babe," Jamie whispered as he placed a hand on her hip, squeezing it gently.

"So then, when he heard about this tour, he asked to go on it in order to face his fears," Ted declared.

"Fucking smart," Roy spoke up, earning hums of agreement from the rest of the team.

"Any much scarier out there than a creepy clown, right?" Ted glanced around at the team.

"Rupert Manion," Billie coughed under her breath, the team mumbling and nodding in agreement.

"Anyway," Ted replied, not wanting to get caught up in the hullabaloo of West Ham and its owner, "Ivor, my friend, why don't you help these fine fellows with some fun facts about this here fences factory?"

"Well, back in 1859, an engineer called Joseph Bazalgette and his team built more than 1,200 miles of interconnected tunnels and sewers, and its creation helped cure a massive cholera outbreak after untreated human waste found its way into the River Thames, anyone know what that epidemic was called?"

"Great Stink of 1858," Beard answered.

"That's correct," Ivor nodded with an impressed grin as the rest of the team gasped in unison.

"Alright, go ahead, Ivor," Ted encouraged the man, "Go ahead."

"Well, to start us off," Ivor looked around at the twenty or so footballers who surrounded him, "Any questions?"

"Yeah, I got one," Isaac raised his hand, looking at his coach, "What the fuck are we doing here?"

The team nodded along in agreement, still confused as to why a trip to the sewers warranted the abandonment of a training session, ahead of their return to the Premier League.

"Silence!" Roy shouted, his voice echoing around the enclosed space.

"Thank you, Coach," Ted nodded sincerely, "That's a good question, Isaac, and direct, which is a personality trait y'all's generation has truly embraced, and I tell you what, I've grown used to it, so I appreciate it."

"Yeah, well, fellas, take a look around," Ted instructed the team, "What are we surrounded by down here?"

"Coach," Jamie raised his hand, "We're surrounded by poopy."

"That's right," Ted nodded, "But if you ask me, we're surrounded by a whole bunch of poopeh up there as well, yeah?"

"Is he taking the mick?" Jamie frowned at his girlfriend.

"It's meant to be affectionate," Billie assured him.

"See, gentlemen, right now, y'all's brains are basically London in 1857, they're blocked up by other people's dookie," Ted declared, "Y'all need to make an internal sewer system within yourselves, and then connect to each other's tunnels, help each other keep that flow."

"Pretty smart."

"So if you're ever having a crisis of confidence, borrow some of Jamie's, or if you're feeling down, get some Dani in your life," Ted suggested, "And if you're lacking creativity, take some inspiration from our very own Sporty Spice, or you can learn from Richard's vast knowledge of expensive wines."

"Fine wines, Coach," The Frenchman corrected him, "The thing is, a great bottle of wine really doesn't need to be an expensive bottle of wine, you get it?"

"Alright, see?" Ted nodded, "That's wisdom right there, merci beaucoup."

"Aldi do a great fucking range of wines," Billie told the boys.

"Guys, all we gotta do is remember to stay connected to one another and let anything we don't need flow right through all the way to, I don't know, Germany or-" Ted turned to the knowledgeable tour guide, "Where does it go, Ivor?"

"Processed through a treatment plant and dumped back into the ocean, where we swim and get our seafood," Ivor explained.

"Wow, yeah, that's horrible," Ted sighed, "Alright, y'all get it?"

"Yes, Coach!"

"Okay, let's get upstairs, get some fresh air."

"No sudden movements near the bus driver!" Beard was quick to warn the team.

"I really like that Kenneth guy," Beard told his colleagues as they returned to the coaches' office, Billie taking up residence on the shelving unit, "He seems really plugged in."

"Oh, I agree."

"That nutter told me to ask the fucking earth to help me carry some of my burden," Roy huffed as he wandered into his section of the office.

"He ain't wrong," Ted shrugged.

"That's not a terrible idea," Beard added in agreement.

"Sounds like a word that starts with thera and ends in pee," Billie smiled as her phone buzzed, she pulled it out of her pocket to see an article sent to her by Alfie, "That fucking twat."

"Oh boy," Beard sighed, sharing a similar sentiment as Roy returned to the main office.

"That little prick."

"Who?" Ted frowned.

"Just check your phone."

Ted opened his phone to see an article with a scorching title.

WONDER KID BURNS RICHMOND

"I never trusted that prick," Billie frowned, which was a lie, she trusted that man up until he betrayed his friends, which is why it hurt so much, "Fucking shifty eyes."

"Yo, you see what Nate said about us?" Zoreaux's voice caught the attention of Billie and the coaches as the team convened in the locker room.

The team looked up in concern as Zoreaux gestured for them to huddle round, various players pulling out their phones, while Colin skim read the article he'd been sent.

"What the fuck?" Isaac huffed as the team muttered amongst themselves.

"Hey, hey, hey, lads," Jamie hushed his teammates, who looked at him, expecting a typically Tartt remark, "Remember, it's just poopy, let it flow."

"Just like in the sewer!" Dani grinned as the rest of the team nodded in agreement.

"Bingo, el ringo," Jamie clicked his fingers and pointed at his fellow striker.

"I'm gonna marry that man one day," Billie smiled fondly as she stood in the office with the coaches, watching her brother roll his eyes in despair.

"Give me strength," Roy groaned as he returned to his desk.

"I think you might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Jamie mused, sitting on the bed beside a chilled Nelson, as Billie returned from his en suite to his bedroom, dressed in one of his t-shirts and a pair of gym shorts with damp hair and a bare face.

"Shut up," Billie smiled.

"It's true," Jamie assured her as he climbed off his bed, making his way over to her, "I think you're fucking perfect."

"That's not true," Billie sighed as Jamie stood before her, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, "No one's perfect, not even One Direction."

"Well, you're my kind of perfect," Jamie insisted, because he knew Billie, and so he knew that she wasn't the best at receiving compliments, "And I wouldn't have you any other way."

"I love you," Billie grinned as she kissed him, smiling against his lips before pulling away.

"I love you too," Jamie smiled, pecking her lips before he returned to his large bed, picking up his copy of The Little Prince, which Dr Sharon had recommended to him as Nelson nuzzled against him.

"Would you ever leave Richmond?" Billie asked a question that had been playing on her mind over the summer.

"Where's that come from?" Jamie frowned, confused as to what led Billie to ask that question.

"Well, Richmond wasn't what you wanted at the start," Billie explained as she stood at the end of the bed, "And you're really fucking good, J, so I'd understand if this season goes the way everyone expects it to, and you wanted to move to a different team."

"Hey, come here," Jamie shuffled towards the edge of the bed, holding his hands out to her, interlocking his fingers with hers, "I love Richmond almost as much as I love you, alright?"

"So you've never thought about it?" Billie looked down at their hands, "Going to a team where you could be guaranteed to win trophies, like if Man City wanted you back one day-"

"Babe," Jamie squeezed her hands, "I don't want to go back to City, that's not what this is about for me."

"You don't?"

As a child, Jamie might have dreamt of lifting the Premier League trophy, winning an FA Cup, playing in the Champions League. But it was his time at Richmond that taught him that there was more to life than just trophies, trophies that a team like Manchester City could win with ease. The satisfaction of winning a match as the underdogs, fighting for something that mattered, that's what got him up every morning.

"It's like what Dr Sharon told me, things are either in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime," Jamie explained as he rested his hands on her waist, "City was in my life for a reason, because it taught me how to be better at the game, but you and Richmond, you're it for me, Richmond taught me to be a better man, and you show me that a man like me deserves a love like yours."

"I'd follow you anywhere, you know that," Billie was quick to reply, placing her hands on his shoulders, "Liverpool, Borussia Dortmund, Inter fucking Miami," She assured him as Jamie smiled up at her, "I'd go anywhere for you, Jamie Tartt."

"Ditto."

"And I know we've only been together for a few months, but I feel like I've known you my whole life," Billie smiled, running her thumb back and forth over his cheekbone, "But I'd follow you to the moon and back."

"I'd support United."

"Must be love," Billie laughed as she stood between his legs, mesmerised by those deep dark brown eyes of his, "I'd join a cult for you."

"You could start a cult," Jamie insisted, "And I'd join it in a heartbeat."

billie_kent posted

liked by: jamie_tartt and 63,137 others

billie_kent: My favourite shot from the shoot with the incredible people over at Rollacoaster. Thank you so much for having me <3 (this girl is still getting used to being on that side of the camera)

COMMENTS:
colinhughes: SO COOL

maddsgreen: so proud of you <3

alfiesykes98: a real life mega star

jamie_tartt: fancy being the posh to my becks?

isaac_mcadoo: forever a legend

keeleyjones: forever in awe of you superstar

author's note: hope you enjoyed, i love them so much and i don't ever get tired of writing them as a couple <3