this chapter is basically 6000 words of me giving billie a big hug - enjoy! x

"My head is-" Billie muttered as she wiped the sleep from her eyes, taking in her surroundings as she sat up in bed. It quickly dawned on her that she wasn't in her bedroom or Jamie's bedroom and as she looked to her left she was met with the sight of Colin, who lay fast asleep on the other side of a pillow wall.

She remembered how he'd given her a fresh change of clothes and let her use his en suite to shower the night before, while he ordered them a filling three course meal from Pizza Express using Will's membership perks. Billie had claimed that she didn't have the stomach for food but Colin had insisted that she'd feel better after some good food, and he was right.

The pair had built a blanket fort on Colin's bed, eating their pizzas and dough balls as they did a marathon viewing of the first two seasons of Gavin and Stacey. Billie had drifted off to sleep first and of course being the respectful young gentleman that he was, Colin had formed a wall out of pillows before going to sleep.

He'd also been sending Jamie regular updates on how Billie was doing. Jamie was concerned about her, of course he was, but he was willing to let her lead the situation and he would wait for her to come to him when she was ready.

"Morning," Colin muttered as his eyes fluttered open, "You sleep okay?"

"Yeah," Billie nodded as she grabbed her phone from the bedside table, "I think I needed it."

"Hmm?"

"A proper night's sleep," Billie sighed as she opened her phone to be met with just one message from Jamie.

JAMIE
I love you stargirl xx

BILLIE
Ditto starboy x

She typed a quick reply before placing her phone on the bed beside her, returning her attention to Colin who had propped himself up against the headboard.

"You okay?" Colin asked.

"I've never been completely okay, that was what Dr Sharon was for," Billie smiled, "But I'm getting there, and we've got a day off today so I'll go home and see my best boys, that feels like the first step in the right direction."

"Sounds good to me, Bils," Colin smiled, his heart still weighing heavy from the way Isaac had blanked him after discovering the truth about his sexuality, "How's about I make us some breakfast before we watch some more Gavin and Stacey, then when you're ready I'll drop you back home or to Jamie's or to wherever you want to go."

"That sounds perfect," Billie nodded as Colin climbed out of bed, throwing on the hoodie that definitely wasn't Alfie's, "Thank you for last night, I know I could've just gone back to Jamie's, but I think I just needed a change of scenery and a bit of a distraction."

"I get it," Colin replied, "Do you fancy a hot chocolate? Al- Jamie mentioned that you don't drink tea or coffee."

"Hot chocolate would be great," Billie smiled as Colin promptly left the room.

She nervously picked up her phone, choosing to open her emails with trepidation, in an attempt to avoid being bombarded with an avalanche of hate and requests from tabloids for comments on the photo she opened her personal email instead of her business contact. It was mainly full of emails she'd already read that week, but there was one that was new, one that had landed in her inbox the day before, one that felt as though it should've been in her business email.

Dear Miss Kent,

I hope this email finds you well despite the current circumstances that you find yourself in. I have a business venture that I hope may interest you, as I would like to offer you an opportunity that may elevate your career beyond what you have already achieved in such a short amount of time.

If you are interested in discussing this further I am staying at The Peninsula until tomorrow evening when I will be returning to Dubai for a month, so this really will be the best time to discuss this opportunity.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Oliver Clarke

Billie didn't know what to think, so she promptly opened google and typed the man's name in, assuming that there'd be an article about him in the financial news if he was in the position to offer a business opportunity so freely.

What she read baffled her, he was the son of a multimillionaire, due to inherit his father's fortune when he turned forty, which according to the article she was skim reading, was just two years away. It seemed like an unbelievable opportunity, the sort of thing she'd ask Jamie his opinion on, but she wanted to prove she could stand on her own two feet, that she could make a decision like that independently.

He'd sent the email the day before, which meant he was leaving London that day, meaning she didn't have long to make a decision and get ready. She was nervous, of course she was, but she supposed nerves weren't necessarily a bad thing, they proved that she cared, and that's what mattered most. In the very same way that she cared about her work.

"Colin!" Billie called out, "Can you drop me off at The Peninsula?"

Being the sister of a footballing legend like Roy Kent, Billie had frequented a few lavish venues in her life, but that didn't mean it ever became what she considered 'normal.' She'd frantically ran downstairs just an hour ago, asking Colin to help her get ready before explaining the situation. Thankfully he'd washed and dried her clothes from the day before so she was able to wear those, along with a blazer leant to her by Colin that helped tie together the 'WAG off duty' look, a card she was willing to play to get through the doors of such a grand establishment.

"Hello, Madam, what can I do for you today?" The receptionist smiled as Billie reached the concierge desk.

"I'm here to see Oliver Clarke," Billie told him, "We don't have a meeting scheduled, he just gave me this address."

"I'll call up to his suite, can I take a name?" He asked.

"Billie Kent."

"Very good," He nodded with a smile as he typed a number into the phone on his desk, "Take a seat and I'll let him know you're here."

Billie made her way over to one of the luxury velvet sofas, feeling out of place as she took a seat. Just two hours ago she'd been sitting on Colin's bed in his gym shorts and t-shirt and there she was sitting in a lavish hotel, wearing jeans, Jamie's hoodie and Colin's blazer. Her nails were chipped and her skin was paler than usual as she hadn't had access to her makeup bag at Colin's, she'd tied her hair back into a bun, hoping it might make her look more put together.

About ten minutes passed before a man dressed in a sharp and tailored suit appeared before her. He was probably in his late thirties, his hair was dark and his jaw was defined. Upon first impressions, Billie got the idea that he was a pretty big fan of himself, with an inheritance as big as his, she supposed he had to be.

"Oliver Clarke," He held his hand out for her to shake, "You must be Billie Kent."

"That's me," She nodded before shaking his hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Trust me, the pleasure is all mine," He smiled, and Billie immediately realised that he was one of those men who used his charm as a vehicle for success, "I have a booth in the Lowry Lounge, if you'd like to join me?"

"Sounds great," Billie replied as she followed him through the bar towards the row of booths at the back, she watched as he gestured a waitress over before returning his attention to her.

"What'll you be drinking, Miss Kent?" He asked.

"Water is fine, thank you," Billie smiled.

"You won't join me in a glass of red?" Oliver asked as the waitress returned to the bar.

"I only had breakfast an hour ago," Billie answered as the pair took a seat in the booth.

"Late night, was it?" Oliver smirked, "Sounds exciting."

"Far from it actually," Billie exhaled, "I assume you've seen the article, a man like you, you've probably seen the photo."

"Have you seen the article?" Oliver asked, "When did you last read it?"

"Once was enough," Billie sighed, unsure what exactly he was hoping to achieve.

"Have another look," Oliver replied, "Go on."

"Did you bring me here to humiliate me?" Billie remarked, "Is that what people like you get off on?"

"Just read it."

"Fine, fine!" Billie huffed as she pulled her phone from her pocket, clicking on the original link she'd received the day before, but what came next shocked her.

She looked up at Oliver with glossy eyes, her hands trembled as she clung to her phone. She wasn't sure if it was real or if she was dreaming, she hoped she wasn't dreaming.

"It's gone," Billie whispered as she looked back down at the blank screen that displayed nothing except 'ERROR 404: PAGE NOT FOUND.'

"My father is one of the owners of that publication, he pulled a few strings, had the article lifted from all digital platforms, and an injunction put in place that means no one is ever going to see that photo again," Oliver explained as Billie's heart began to thump against her chest, she couldn't quite believe what he had told her, that a man she didn't know would do move so many mountains for her when Brad had held onto the photo despite their split.

"Why would you do that?" Billie whispered as she blinked away her tears, "You don't even know me."

"Because I think you could make me a lot of money," Oliver smirked, like he knew something that she didn't.

"And how do you suppose I'm going to do that?" Billie quipped, "You gonna sell that photo of me to the highest bidder?"

"You've got a real talent, and you seem to really give a fuck about what it is that you do, and I'm looking to expand my business portfolio into media production," Oliver explained, "I want to start a production agency, and I'd like you to run it."

"What?" Billie gulped in disbelief.

"You seem to know what you're doing," He told her, "I'd take a sizable share of the earnings and you'd be running a team of like minded media creatives."

"Would I have complete creative control?" Billie asked.

"Do you mean, would you still be able to work with your boyfriend everyday?" Oliver replied, "It'd depend on how much the contracts are worth...Of course this is all about media creation, but we live in a world where everything comes back to money."

"I really like the job I have now," Billie exhaled, tapping her fingers against the table.

"Do you like the job or the people?"

"I like all of it," She sighed, realising that the man who sat opposite her had given her some real food for thought.

"The world is wide, don't let Richmond be the only corner of it that you see," Oliver told her, his persistence was somewhat overwhelming, but Billie was used to that from men.

"I'll think about it," Billie replied, "It's a big deal, I'm not sure that's a decision I can make right away."

"Very well," Oliver nodded, "Just don't forget what my family have done for you, alright?"

"Yeah," Billie nodded, unsure what to make of his arguably loaded comment as she stood up, "Well, it was lovely to meet you."

"Take my card," He handed her his business card, "Any questions, please reach out, and maybe we can get this ball rolling soon."

"Maybe."

Billie felt as though she was slowly putting herself back together again. The opportunity that Oliver Clarke had given her was only a plaster over the pain Brad had caused her, but as she decided what she wanted to do with the grand business proposal, it was providing enough of a distraction from the photo incident. She'd returned to Richmond from The Peninsula, deciding to walk back from the tube station to her flat as she let the late spring air fill her lungs. It wasn't a lot, but it helped her feel grounded again, having spent the day before smelling of nothing but vomit and vodka.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket as she strolled down Ted's street towards the green, she pulled it out to see that Rebecca was calling. She knew in her heart that out of all the people she knew, Rebecca was probably most likely to understand how it felt to be undermined and ridiculed by a man she'd once trusted, so she answered the call with little hesitation.

"Hello, lovely," Rebecca answered, "How are you?"

"I've been better," Billie sighed honestly.

"I assume Jamie's been taking good care of you," Rebecca replied, knowing how much the man adored Billie, it seemed almost inevitable that he'd be swaddling her with love in the wake of such a press storm.

"I've not seen him," Billie exhaled reluctantly, "I went to Brad's yesterday, confronted him about it, then got shitfaced drunk at the pub before being rescued by Colin."

"Did Colin let Jamie know?" Rebecca asked.

"Yeah, he was an angel about all of it, they both were," Billie answered.

"So, why are you avoiding him?" Rebecca asked.

"Because, I feel like I've let him down, I feel like I've let everyone down," Billie admitted, because it wasn't just Jamie who she thought of when she worried about that photo, it was her family, it was the team, it was her friends, it was her little niece who she felt a need to protect.

"Billie, you have not let anyone down, least of all Jamie, he adores you to the moon and back ten times over," Rebecca assured her, "None of this is your fault."

"But, maybe if I hadn't got so drunk that night the photo was taken then maybe I would've been aware, I would've realised what he was doing," Billie sighed, feeling a need to villainise herself.

"If you didn't know he was taking that photo then you certainly haven't let anyone down," Rebecca told her, "There is only one person to blame, and that's Brad."

"Thank you," Billie smiled, "If you want me to leave the club, I'll understand."

"You shall do no such thing, lovely girl," Rebecca warned lovingly, "If you ever leave Richmond it'll be on your terms, no one else's, alright?"

"Thank you," Billie whispered.

"You never have to thank me for anything, my love."

After ending the call with Rebecca, Billie continued down Ted's street, feeling something close to relief following her conversation with Rebecca.

"Howdy, stranger," Billie looked up from her phone as she walked alongside the Crown and Anchor to see Ted sat at a table with Beard and Henry, "How's it cooking?"

"Good," Billie nodded tentatively as she approached them, Beard promptly scooted along the bench, patting the space beside him, she glanced at Henry as she took a seat, offering him a gentle smile, "You've grown since I last saw you, kiddo, your mum been putting you in a bag of Speedi-Grow while you sleep?"

"I just like to make sure I eat my five a day everyday," Henry smiled back, not quite understanding her humour.

"Good kid," Billie nodded, "So, what've you been up to today?"

"We went to the West Ham game!" Henry declared, showing her the team shirt that he was wearing under his coat.

"Wow," Billie glanced between the young boy and the two coaches who sat at the table, "I'm surprised Mae let you boys stay."

"She says we're back on probation," Beard told her with frustration in his voice.

"I just can't believe you went to West Ham when London has so much more to offer," Billie sighed, raising her eyebrows at Beard who was wearing his work uniform.

"You think I wanted to go?" Beard retorted, gesturing to his outfit of choice.

"I think you could've tried harder," Billie raised her eyebrows.

"Anywho, how are you?" Ted asked Billie with more sincerity than usual and she was quickly aware of what he was alluding to.

"I've been better," Billie nodded, glancing across the green at the various families and couples having picnics and playing games, many of the children were wearing Richmond shirts, a few had 'Tartt' printed on the back of them, that made her heart beat in ways she never knew it could.

"I've got a present for you," Ted told her, diverting the topic of conversation, assuming that she wouldn't want to discuss the last twenty four hours sitting outside of their local pub with his son, "Don't get too excited."

"I always get excited by presents," Billie grinned in intrigue as the nearby busker began to sing Hey Jude.

"I just figured you could do with a little reminder that we've always got your back, no matter where any of us end up," He placed the tiny green action figure on the table, something that reminded her of childhood, yet filled her with a weight of reassurance that she wasn't sure she had ever really felt, that the people who loved her weren't hundreds of miles away in Sunderland, or in London when she'd been in Manchester, "That little guy is your first line of defence, and we and the team, we'll always be your second."

"Thank you," Billie whispered with a smile as she rested her head on Beard's shoulder, Beard who would usually flinch away from such unexpected human contact, but instead let her rest there, figuring that she needed comfort wherever she could find it.

Ted's phone buzzed and looked down at it with slight concern, glancing between the two adults and Henry, "You know what? I'll be right back."

"You like The Beatles, huh?" Beard asked Henry as Michael from the pub placed three plates of fish and chips on the table, while Henry nodded in response, "Why's that?"

"'Cause my Dad does," Henry replied.

"You know what this song's about?" Beard asked the young boy.

"Someone named Jude," Henry answered.

"Not just someone, a little boy named Jude," Beard told him, "And one day his mum and dad decided to break up, you know, get divorced, and that made Jude real, real sad."

"And Jude's dad had a best friend and that best friend was real worried about Jude and all his sad feelings," Billie decided to chip in, earning a nod of approval from Beard, she knew what it meant to have a family that didn't fit in the typical nuclear family box, and she wanted Henry to see that there was nothing to fear about that, "So he wrote him this song, hoping that the words might help him somewhere down the road."

"The long and winding road?" Henry replied as Billie smiled and Beard raised his pint in approval.

"You have a great mum and dad," Beard told the young boy, "And they love you tons, even though it's weird they live in different countries, and I know right now it feels like you're in a sad song, but you," Beard glanced at Billie, believing that she too needed to hear his words, "You have the power to take a sad song and make it better."

"I like that," Henry nodded.

"Me too," Billie grinned as the song reached its peak, "You know what the best bit about this song is?"

"What?"

"This," Billie pointed to the air as the busker screamed before the song hit its iconic outro.

"Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, hey, Jude!" The group sang with smiles on their faces. Punters from inside the pub gathered around to join in the fun as Billie felt reminded that family was more than just the people we shared blood with, it was the people that turned a place into home that she called family.

After a good twenty minutes of singing The Beatles' greatest hits, Billie finally made her way home, for the first time since the photo had been leaked, she finally felt as though the universe might be back on her side. No one at the pub mentioned the photo, they all treated her like a family member they'd not seen in years, Baz handed her a pint of her favourite strawberry and lime cider while Jeremy sang along to Hey Jude with her. She truly believed that everything was going to be okay.

She made it back to her flat, closing the front door behind her, her heart beating nervously once she kicked off her shoes and hung her coat up on the rack. She knew that Madison and Alfie loved her unconditionally, there was just a small part of her that feared what they'd think of the leaked photo, that somehow it might make them think poorly of her.

But as she reached the top of the stairs up to her flat, there was no sign of Alfie or Madison. The kitchen was spotless, a few lit candles sitting in the centre of the island, along with the bouquet of sunflowers from the boys (a few tulips from Dani too for good measure), a large pan covered with a lid was sitting on the stove. She glanced into the living room to see Nelson was curled up on the sofa with his favourite blanket, fairy lights draped anywhere they possibly could be.

"She's always a woman to me," She heard Jamie hum as he made his way out of her bathroom, his eyes lighting up when he noticed her, "You're back."

"I'm sorry I didn't call or text, I was just..." She rambled, words failing her until she whispered, "I didn't want that to be the way you saw me."

"Hey," Jamie approached her slowly, holding his arms out as he reached her, "Can I?"

Her eyes welled up at the notion of him asking for consent to hug her, something so simple that meant so much after everything that Brad had put her through so carelessly, "Of course you can," She nodded.

He used his thumbs to wipe away the tears that escaped her eyes before wrapping her in his embrace, her head rested against his chest and she was quickly put at ease by the sound of his steady heartbeat. She'd only been apart from him for a day, but she knew that it wasn't something she wanted to do again.

"You don't ever have to apologise for any of this, okay?" Jamie whispered as he gently stroked his hand up and down her bag as a way of comforting her, "We're gonna do this the way we do everything, alright?" He kissed the top of her head, "Together."

More tears escaped her eyes, tears that couldn't be more different from the tears at the pub the day before. She was safe now, and there was nowhere she felt safer than in Jamie's arms as he swayed her side to side.

"Now, I've made us some paella for tea, okay?" Jamie told her, "But if you don't want paella, we can just order a takeaway."

"Paella sounds perfect," Billie smiled up at him, "How did you know when I'd be back?"

"Beard texted me," Jamie told her, "Wanted me to know that you were okay, then he texted me when you left the pub."

"Good old Beardo," Billie smiled.

"There's something I wanted to show you, for before dinner," He told her, taking her hand in his and leading her across the living room.

They reached the doorway to the bathroom and Billie couldn't help but melt into Jamie's side. He'd set up dozens of candles around the room as well as Phoebe's galaxy lamp, that he'd paid her ten quid for the pleasure of using. There was a mug of hot chocolate on the edge of the bath, topped with whipped cream and chocolate buttons. The faint hum of the playlist Jamie had made for Billie filled the space as Sparks by Coldplay played.

The words 'I promise you this, I'll always look out for you,' couldn't feel more real in that moment.

"You don't have to have the bath if you don't want to, like I'd get if you feel uncomfortable getting undressed and all that, so you don't have to do anything if you don't-"

Jamie's ramblings were cut short as Billie placed a gentle kiss of affirmation to his lips, "No one's ever made me feel the way you do, Jamie," She whispered with a gentle smile, "And I'd love a bath."

"You deserve to be loved every day," Jamie whispered as butterflies filled Billie's stomach, "I'm just going to love you even harder today."

She wordlessly held up her arms to signal to him that she wanted him to help her get undressed. He pulled his hoodie off of her body and discarded it on the floor before doing the same with the t-shirt she had been wearing. He kept his eyes on hers as he removed her jeans and then her underwear, loose strands of hair framed her face as she stared back up at him.

Without a word, he guided her over to the bath, letting her sit down in the bubble topped water, she assumed that he must've gone to town with the bubble bath and Lush bath bomb. But she loved it, she loved anything that he did for her.

"I'll just go and check on dinner, you take as long as you need, alright?" Jamie told her, not wanting to overstep or make her feel uncomfortable, given the fragility and vulnerability of the situation they found themselves in.

She reached out her hand, interlocking it with his to stop him from leaving, "Will you stay in here with me?"

"Yeah," Jamie smiled, "If that's what you want."

"It is," She nodded and he took it as his cue to sit on the floor beside the bath, while she didn't dare to let go of his hand.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked, lifting her hand to his lips and gently kissing her knuckles.

"I'm getting there," Billie replied, "I saw Brad yesterday."

"I know," Jamie nodded as he squeezed her hand, "How was it?"

"As awful as you could imagine," Billie muttered as she leant over the edge of the bath, her face just inches from Jamie's, "He couldn't see what he'd done wrong, made out like I'd encouraged him to take the photo, but I didn't even know he was taking it, and then I asked him how he'd feel if it was his daughter one day, he definitely didn't like that."

"I bet he didn't," Jamie smiled with pride at the thought of Billie standing up for herself against a man who had caused her so much emotional pain.

"It's not the fact that he took the photo that I struggle with most," Billie whispered, "It's that he kept it...I suppose I should've asked him to delete it when we broke up, I should've gone back and asked him to get rid of everything."

"Bils, you didn't even know the photo was being taken," Jamie reminded her, "None of this is your fault."

"I just wished that more men felt the same way about it that you do," Billie whispered with a smile.

"I were raised by a good woman, weren't I?" Jamie replied, "And I have the love of a great woman too."

"You soppy bastard," Billie smiled as she kissed him gently, her hand still intertwined with his.

"Mum sent you her love," Jamie told her, "Said to tell you that you're the strongest lady she knows."

"Takes one to know one," Billie whispered, her words touching Jamie's heart, knowing how much his mother had to sacrifice to give him the life that she had, she'd put her little boy first and left James, in Billie's eyes, that was the strongest thing a woman could do.

"I've found us this place that I want to take you next time we've got time off from work," Jamie told her, "It's this hotel in the countryside, but the hotel rooms are all these massive fancy treehouses, there's a river with little boats, and it's near the beach."

"So we can be big kids?" Billie smiled.

"Exactly," Jamie nodded, "I were thinking we'd probably have time in the next international break when the other boys are-"

"I get the feeling you're gonna be pretty busy in the next international break, babe," Billie told him, she'd read dozens of articles from sports journalists and former footballers, naming the players they believed Gareth Southgate should include in his squad for the next round of international qualifiers, there was one name that was included in every list.

"If you say so, babe," Jamie smirked, he still wasn't sure if it would happen, but that was a large part of him that hoped she was right.

"Just don't go booking anything yet, okay?" She told him, "I'm not sure they'd accept 'playing for England' as a valid reason for a refund."

Billie spent a good hour sitting in the bath, talking away with Jamie, in a distraction free bubble for just the two of them. Eventually she got dried off and Jamie helped her get changed into a new pair of pyjamas that he'd bought her from The White Company, which was one of those fancy shops his mum had always wanted to be able to afford when he was a young boy (So like the mummy's boy he was, he also brought her a pair and sent them up to Manchester in the post).

But despite the fresh new expensive cosy pyjamas, Billie still insisted on wearing one of Jamie's hoodies over them before they cosied up for the evening.

"Do you think Nelson knows?" Billie asked as she and Jamie lay across the sofa, Billie resting her head on Jamie's chest as usual, while Nelson lay on the floor beside them, not daring to leave Billie's side (much like Jamie).

"That his mum's a star?" Jamie smirked, "Yeah, he knows."

"You know what I mean," Billie rolled her eyes with a smile, her train of thought cut off when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Jamie whispered as he climbed off of the sofa, hurrying down the stairs to Billie's front door.

A few moments later, Jamie reappeared with Roy standing by his side, dressed in his usual all black ensemble.

"You're not stealing him from me for training are you?" Billie frowned at her brother

"No, I'm here to see you, you muppet," Roy smiled reassuringly.

"I'll give you both a minute," Jamie told her, kissing the top of Billie's head before disappearing into her bedroom.

"How've you been?" Roy asked as he sat beside his sister.

"I'm doing better now," Billie nodded, "Jamie's been looking after me."

"I know," Roy sighed, Jamie had texted him earlier that day, asking if he could skip training, wanting to make sure he was there if Billie needed him, "I thought about going round to Brad's, telling him a thing or two that I should've told him when you were together."

"That's not what I want," Billie was quick to cut him off before he could get creative with how he'd handle Brad, "What I need is for you to be supportive big brother Roy, not protective big brother Roy."

"I can do that," Roy nodded reluctantly, "I want to show you something."

She watched with intrigue as her brother placed a purple book in his lap, it didn't have any details on its cover and as he opened it, it slowly dawned on her that it wasn't a book, it was a photo album, a photo album full of her.

"I started this while I was up in Sunderland, Hannah would send me photos of you while you were growing up," Roy told her as he slowly flicked through the pages, filled with photos of her first day of nursery, her first day at primary school in her green school uniform, her first school residential trip.

It was like a time capsule of Billie Kent, full of memories that Roy hadn't been there to witness first hand, that he'd asked Hannah for every detail of when they'd speak on the phone. For so long Billie had been the little sister that he saw grow up in photos from home. So when Chelsea gave him a generous contract offer, getting to see Billie grow was the first thing he thought of before saying yes.

"And you might look like an adult now, but to me there'll always be a part of you that stays like that." He pointed at the photo of his youngest sister at the age of six months old that was stuck on a page next to a clipping from her magazine article, "You're always going to be my baby sister, Billiebop."

Without a word, Billie wrapped her arms around her brother's shoulders, she would've cried if she'd had any tears left in her, because she was so touched by the effort her brother had gone to. The man who was embarrassed by affection and chose to keep his cards close to his chest was baring them completely, and Billie couldn't feel more grateful to have men like Jamie and Roy in her life.

"Would you like to stay for paella?" Billie whispered, "Jamie made it, it's Higgins' recipe."

"I'd fucking love that," Roy sighed before his face dropped ever so slightly, "I think I fucked up."

"Huh?" Billie frowned as she pulled away from his embrace, she wasn't sure she'd ever heard her brother admit to messing up or doing wrong, it was a baby step of progress, but a step nonetheless.

"I asked Keeley who the video was for," Roy huffed, his gaze focused on the wall opposite him, not wanting to see whether his sister's gaze had faltered in disapproval.

Billie herself had felt riddled with guilt for not reaching out to Keeley, her friend who was in a different boat but facing the same storm. She didn't want to use being so wrapped up in her own troubles as an excuse, but she wasn't sure that she had the words to explain what it was that she was feeling. Jamie knew Billie in a way that no one else did, and she could explain everything to him in just a couple of words and he'd understand.

"You know something," Billie took his hand in hers, "Admitting that you fucked up is the most important thing."

"How'd you reach that conclusion?"

"I know you've been telling everyone that you and Keeley broke up, to the point that you probably believe it yourself," Billie sighed, as in that moment she became the older sibling and Roy was the teenage boy who's first experience of heartbreak was getting knocked out in the group stages of the Under 21s Euros in the year 2000 when he was just eighteen, "Your insecurities have been holding you back, and I know it's not as easy to just switch those off, it took me almost a year to do that before I accepted that Jamie loves me."

"Yeah, but you two are all fucking loved up now," Roy replied, "I'm just...on my own, because I keep making it worse."

"You have never been on your own, not even when you were in soggy Sunderland," Billie smiled fondly, "We love you for who you are, not who you aren't."

"Yeah, but-"

"There's not buts about it, Roy," Billie cut him off, deciding that his self perpetuating punishment of himself had gone on long enough, "You are good enough for anyone's love, and the only person you're punishing is yourself, because life is too fucking short to deprive yourself of the things you fucking deserve."

"Well."

"You fucked up, we all fuck up, but you're human, despite what those Reddit threads say about your robotic presence when you were a pundit," Billie told him, "You need to stop getting in your own way, and there's no one who can stop you from getting in your own way except you...And well..."

Billie leant forward and grabbed a notepad and pen from the coffee table, scribbling down an email and address and a phone number she believed could truly help him.

"I know that therapy's the last thing you probably want to do," Billie tore off the piece of paper and handed it to him, "But I want you to be happy, and I want you to work on yourself for you."

definitelynotroykent posted:

liked by: jamie_tartt and 39 others

definitelynotroykent: Always my little sister.

COMMENTS:
billie_kunt: you soppy old man.

author's note: i adore them so much!
roy finally using his finsta to show his sister the love she deserves <3
thank so much for all the love and support on this story - i adore you all!