four. subways and honesty
maya hart and lucas friar

Triangles are a tricky shape to deal with: the differing angles, lengths in sides, and all the mathematical nonsense to solve one. It comes as no surprise to Maya Hart that, despite her best efforts, her stepping back again in their freshman year hadn't ended the triangle between herself, her best friend, and Lucas Friar. She watched as, for a few months, the two people who meant the most to her navigate a "relationship" and then failed. Their breakup didn't cause a big fracture within the friend group like many outsiders expected it would, their whispers overwhelming the blonde whenever she would walk down the halls during the time period where Riley and Lucas were together, since no one except them expected them to last past their freshman year of high school.

And then the second breakup came, separating Farkle and Smackle. But in true Smackle fashion, she presented the problem with their relationship to the whole group after the break up: they were too similar, he wanted to fix her, and they both had feelings for other people. Maya certainly didn't miss the look that Smackle sent to Zay at those words, as well as the one that Farkle gave Riley. She did, however, miss the look that Lucas had thrown her way in the midst of the talk of feelings, and no one else saw it either, so it went unnoticed and untalked about. So in their sophomore year, it was time for two relationships and two single people in a different pattern, though Maya was still one of them.

Since the ski lodge, Lucas and Maya had taken a few steps back within their friendship. Lucas because he knew that Riley wouldn't have been his choice, Maya because she honestly believed that Riley had been the right choice no matter how much it hurt her to see them together and happy. Both of them sincerely regretted their decision to do so, though they both got the chance to grow a little. He joined the baseball team while she joined art club, their social wings able to spread more to try to fill the void that was left by the other one. But in the wake of the two new couples and less "clique six" time, the two started hanging out more despite the other friends they had made over the course of their high school career so far.

At first it was just at Topanga's to do homework and talk about their days at school, but by the time senior year comes around, it's more than that. Study sessions happen in one of their rooms, sometimes turning into sleepovers, and they're attached at the hip. It's not unusual to catch the pair of them out at some obscure place in the city: a hole in the wall pizzeria, a pet store that sells primarily fish, an indoor glow in the dark mini golf place, the bowling alley that serves alcohol to teenagers. Come every Monday, they always have some story to share with their friend group at the lunch table, laughter and their bright smiles and the nudges as the other tries to tell the story better. It's easy for the rest of them to spot the bond that has woven and grown between the two, despite the teases that she still throws his way and the way he messes up her hair when they pass each other in the hallway in an effort to annoy her.

Another friendship that develops and grows is the one between Smackle and Maya. After the secret Santa gift that could have ruined their friendship, the two girls decided to reach out. Smackle in an effort to make sure that she wasn't just part of the group because she was with Farkle and Maya because she needed something that was less stressful than the friendship with Riley. It had hurt her when Riley had told her that she was becoming her and that the world only needed one Riley because that's not at all what was happening, but protecting Riley was more important than protecting her own feelings. Smackle understood parts of Maya that Riley didn't, like that she didn't need to be fixed. Together, they were flawed and that's what made them work as friends, somehow becoming closer than they had ever imagined. And every Friday, the two of them would end the night together, curled up in one of their rooms to discuss their weeks and have girl time away from the two Texan boys.

Riley didn't know until over a year of "Mayadora" nights, when Lucas made an offhand comment about it at lunch and she had turned to the blonde with wounded eyes and asked when that had become a thing instead of Hart/Hunter family game nights. With a blush, Maya had revealed that there never had been such a thing: she just wanted a chance to form a bond with Smackle on her own. No one else had spoken, watching as the fissure between the two friends seemed to grow deeper. Twice weekly dinners at the Matthews seemed to become weekly, then every other week, then just once a month. Somehow, even her bond with the Matthews had suffered, even though she saw Cory and Topanga as her second set of parents. But it wasn't over between the girls that had been friends since elementary school, still seeing each other every day at school and occasionally when their shifts at Topanga's happened to line up (and maybe Topanga schedules them together so that she doesn't lose her second daughter, the one who had come into their life before Auggie was born, who they couldn't be more proud of for who she had grown into).

The dynamic within the group had changed, but not so much that they weren't themselves anymore. Instead, they were older and more mature and would soon be moving on to their new lives at colleges spread across the country. Riley and Farkle had decided on going to California together, for the great college they were both accepted into and the lack of snow. Lucas had been accepted to a handful of colleges and, when it came time to make a decision (thanks early acceptance), his choice surprised no one: Texas. Smackle had been accepted into Columbia and, after a bit of scrambling, Zay ended up getting accepted into NYU at the last minute so that they wouldn't be in different states. Maya, at this point in their senior year, is the only one who hadn't made a definite choice on her college choice: she has NYU to be near Smackle, a couple community colleges near her so that she didn't have to leave home, one in Arizona, and one in Texas.

At the beginning of them rekindling their friendship, only one place was taboo for them: the subway. That had been the place where everything had begun and she had tossed Riley into his lap, where their first dates had ended when Josh had been rejected and Lucas sacrificed his date with Riley to make Maya feel better, where she had told him how she felt about him in her own words during the summer of the triangle. But in their junior year, they had bumped into each other on the subway and slowly, they began to incorporate it into their lives again, riding the subway and laughing and making new memories there. So when they decide to take the subway to go on a new adventure, she decides that it's time to face what they are and have been becoming for the last two years.

"Maya, come on! We have plans," Lucas says, gently tugging on a strand of her hair.

She rolls her eyes as she applies lipstick, "Okay, okay, Friar. Let me finish putting on my face."

"You didn't even need any of that," he states firmly, making eye contact with her in her mirror, making her roll her eyes again. "What?"

"Shut up," she simply says, not feeling the need to be more verbose as she puts the cap on the lipstick and nods at him in the mirror. "I'm ready, let's go have an adventure."

She slips her arm through his and they leave her apartment, a bigger one to accommodate the two new additions to the Hart family, though the rest of her family is out and about with the Matthews. Through the apartment building, they greet her neighbors who all grin at the sight of the teenagers. Over the years since the Hart/Hunter family had relocated to the new building, the other tenants had witnessed the growth of the two teens' friendship developing. They had placed bets on when the two would get their heads out of the butts and realize how much they were truly made for each other. They don't seem to notice the looks that follow them throughout the building. Once outside in the brisk New York air, she unwinds her arm from his just to climb up onto his back, a tradition that they had established quite a while ago.

"Did you tell Zay what we're doing today?" she asks thoughtfully as she plays with his hair.

"No," he answers, glancing over his shoulder at her momentarily. "Did you tell Smackle?"

"Nope," she replies, popping the 'p'. "This is our own thing, they don't need to know yet. They can find out on Monday, at lunch."

"Oh, so you'll be sitting with us, huh?" he teases, lightly squeezing her thighs in his hands.

"My mural for art is done, so yes," she laughs.

"Wait, it's done and none of us have seen it yet?"

"Oops?" she says lightly, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I plan on taking all of you guys to see it on Sunday after our lunch, but it's a surprise, so don't spoil it. Okay?"

"Fine," he sighs, shaking his head in amusement. "You're lucky you're pretty, Hart."

"Right back at you, Friar," she replies easily, not betraying the skip of her heart at him calling her pretty.

The rest of their trek to the subway is filled with laughter and jokes, as well as weird looks from other pedestrians. After all, it isn't everyday that boy is carrying a girl on his back in the middle of the day on the streets of New York. But, again, they don't pay attention to the people around them and instead focus on each other and the good time that they're having. Once they get to the subway, they swipe their cards and join the bustle underground. He sets her down once they're at the bottom of the stairs. Grabbing his hand, she drags him over to one of the buskers and they stand there for a few minutes, listening to the young woman sing her heart out. Neither seems to notice that she never let go of his hand, their fingers laced together between them. But then their ride is there and they have to go, so they leave the young woman after each dropping some cash into her guitar case. Once on their way to their adventure spot of the day, they find themselves sitting in the spot where they first met, where she had introduced herself to him and then thrown Riley onto his lap. The place where, three years ago, she had confessed her feelings to him. And now the place where he's ready to face the truth.

"Maya, can I ask you something?" he asks, looking down at the smaller blonde, who is playing on her phone.

"You just did," she retorts, glancing up at him.

There's something in the look in his eyes that makes her lock her phone and slide it into his pocket, looking up at him and actually listening to him now.

"You know what I mean," he chuckles, bumping his knee against hers.

"Fine," she replies, smiling up at him. "What's up?"

"Did you really mean what you said on the subway?"

"Yes," she replies without a second of hesitation, not a second of thinking necessary.

"Wait, you don't even know what time I'm talking about."

She shrugs, "So?"

"Don't you want to know what I'm referring to?" he asks, genuinely confused.

"It doesn't matter," she tells him honestly, looking down at her folded fingers for a moment. "I've never lied to you. Especially not on the subway."

"Oh."

They're quiet for a moment, looking at each other with wide eyes. She looks down again, this time at his hands, and is thrown back three years, to the time he was referring to and the time that she was the most honest with him. And almost as if she's projecting the flashback, his memories flash back to that day as well, remembering the younger versions of themselves sitting in this same place.

Her hand is in his, like her hand has found home in the warm confines of his. They're still just kids, aged only fifteen, riding the subway on their way to a park. It's summer now, the air hot and their skin sticky with sweat, but neither quite willing to let go of the other, despite the fact that they are already warm enough. Neither feels bad about the fact that they're going to the park themselves, without the rest of the group, without Riley or any of their other friends knowing. Maya knows that she and Riley should be sharing everything regarding Lucas, but she also knows about Riley and Lucas getting pizza together a few nights, without the rest of the group, which makes her feel a little bit better about this.

"Which bikini did you end up picking?" he asks her, scooting just a bit closer to her under the watch of an older boy who seemed to have an interest in the younger blonde.

"The olive green one," she tells him, smiling up at him quickly before her eyes dart around the subway car. "It's my favorite one."

"Mine too," he admits, a genuine smile on his face.

"Riley hates it," she laughs. "Her favorite is the black one with the colorful crocheted pattern."

"She has some weird taste in clothing," he laughs, shaking his head. "And food, music, TV shows. Actually, she has weird taste in pretty much everything."

"Not boys," the blonde answers, shaking her head a bit. "That's the one thing she doesn't have a weird taste in."

"You only say that because you like me, too," he responds, nudging her with his elbow.

"In your dreams, Huckleberry," she teases.

"Hart, you're literally sitting here, holding my hand," he says, squeezing her hand lightly.

"Shut up," she laughs, then the smile falls off her face and she looks up at him, thinking. "You know, I really do like you, right?"

"I assumed so, since you're holding my hand," he replies, somewhat joking still and somewhat curious as to where she's taking this.

"No, I'm trying to be serious here," she retorts, rolling her eyes at him. "I don't like you because of Riley or anything like that. I like you because of who you are. Your instinct is to protect me from the harshness of the world, just like you protected Zay. When I'm upset, you are there with comfort. And you always want the best for me, for me to be happy. I've liked you since day one and everything you've done to me and for me since then has just made me like you more. And while Riley stepping up and telling you my feelings hurt, I think never getting the chance for a moment like this would have hurt more. So I do truly like you, it didn't come out of nowhere, and it has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with me and how I feel."

He's staring at her, like she's the sun and he's a blind man seeing for the first time. The words that she's just spoken, much more sentimental and emotional than either of them expected to hear from her, have seemed to cause her to go into a moment of pure worry, her cheeks red and her eyes looking down at their fingers twisted together on her lap, their thighs pressed together. With his free hand, he gently lifts her chin so that she's looking into his eyes for his response.

"I like you, too, Maya. For reasons that have everything and nothing to do with Riley. You scare me, while things with her seem easy, you seem like a challenge. And I'm not one to back down in the face of a bit of a challenge. You are funny, you are kind under the harsh walls you've put up around yourself. You are, and always have been, the blonde beauty. My blonde beauty. While I wish the declaration of your feelings had come from you, I'm glad that Riley told me. Because even before then, I had imagined you being the one by my side and she gave us the chance to have that. Even though you were totally entitled to telling me, not having her tell me."

"You didn't have to tell me all that," she says softly, her eyes unguarded, as well as the rest of her demeanor, a sight he's not quite used to. "But thank you."

He nods, "I did have to tell you that. You deserve to know that you're not just liked because of Riley, not by me or anyone else. You yourself are enough for me."

Instead of answering him with words, she dropped his hand and grasped face in an identical fashion to the way he had with her at the campfire in Texas. This time, though, their lips do meet. The kiss isn't a long one, just a quick peck that leaves them both a little shocked at the moment, but her hand finds his again without her eyes leaving his. He reaches over with his other hand and brushes a piece of hair behind her ear.

"You don't have to change for me, you never have," she tells him, pouting her lips a bit as she thinks. "Everyone has a bit of a darkness in them and yours is beautiful, it is a part of you and I never want you to be anyone else. I want you to be you because that is enough for me, always has been and always will be. You don't have to be a perfect prince charming, you just have to be my Huckleberry."

"And you're not broken, you don't have to be fixed. You just have to be my short stack of pancakes," he replies, smiling softly at her.

Instead of continuing their sappy exchange, she exclaims 'hey' and lightly punches him in the arm. Laughter emanates from the two young teens, leaning against each other and their conversation turning into insulting each other with nicknames thought up for each other, amusement and joy flowing through their bones. The day would go unforgotten for the two, even if they don't talk about what was said or even the kiss for years to come, laying the foundation for something bigger than they could have expected.

"That feels like a lifetime ago," the blonde says, blinking as she looks up at Lucas.

"It was," he agrees, looking down at their thighs that are pressed together and their fingers that are far from being laced together.

She follows his gaze, looking down at their thighs and hands. Without even hesitating, she reaches over and grasps his hands, lacing her fingers through his and squeezing his hand. He squeezes right back, eyes flitting to her face just as she looks up. There's silence for a few moments, as both try to collect their thoughts, somewhat afraid of losing the friendship that they've spent so long forming.

"I still feel that way," she admits, pouting her lips once again. "I always have, Friar. You are more than enough for me, your darkness is prettier than mine. And you deserve so much more than me."

"Which is why you tried to give me to Riley, like I'm an object and not a person," he replies, knowing her thoughts better than she knows them herself. "Like I'm not a person who was made to be with you, like I'm some prize to be won. But I'm not."

"I know," she nods. "I knew that then, too, but there was a part of me that believed that the two of you were perfect for each other and I would never be exactly what you wanted. Especially after you said the thing about not liking me teasing you the way that I did, still do."

"So you decided that telling me that you only liked me because you were trying to figure out if I was good enough for Riley was the way to go?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow at her. "After everything, you couldn't have possibly believed that."

"Of course not," she laughed, shaking her head. "But it's what Riley needed to believe for her to get the happy ending she deserved, so I gave that to her."

"Even though it hurt me?"

"And me," she admits, looking down. "Watching the two of you hurt, knowing that it would never be me and I would never get that with you. But then you broke up and you never said anything. But neither did I. We just kinda... worked on ourselves as friends and never talked about us, romantically, ever again."

"And we should have," he replies, squeezing her hand. "Because I also still feel the same way. It's always been you, Maya. Even when I was with her, I knew that I wanted to be with you. And that she was in love with Farkle, that neither of us was in the relationship we needed to be in."

"So where does that leave us now?" she asks, looking away from him.

"People who are going different places in their lives," he responds, gripping her hand tightly. "Different colleges, different states, different plans. But despite all of that, I think we owe it to ourselves to try."

"What do you mean?" she asks, turning to him with wide eyes.

"I mean I want to be with you," he tells her, the sincerity in his voice shocking her.

She shakes her head, "No, I meant about different colleges and states and plans."

"Well, you're staying here to be near your mom and Shawn and little Hanna, as well as Smackle. And I'm going to Texas, getting away from the snow and the cold."

"I haven't decided where I'm going, Sundance. And Texas is one of my choices," she tells him, shaking her head and laughing. "I wasn't ready to say goodbye to that."

"You... you got applied to a college in Texas?" he asks, his eyes wide in disbelief.

"Yes, you ding bat!" she exclaims, lightly hitting his chest. "Of course I did! Because there was a little part of me that was still clinging to the hope that you and I could be together, but if you're gonna be an idiot about it, I'll just go to Arizona and get away from all of you."

"No," he says, grasping her face gently after dropping her hand. "Go to Texas, come back home with me."

"Are you sure? It's not too fast?" she asks softly, a hand on one of his wrists.

"We've gone slow enough, don't you think?" he asks with a laugh, staring down at her with admiration in his eyes. "Of course I want you to come back to Texas with me."

And with that, he closed the space between them. She kisses back eagerly, neither of them allowing this kiss to be as short lived as their first one. His fingers tangle in her hair and she grips his wrists, holding on tightly to the boy she had been in love with for so many years. Neither of them care that they're in the subway, that other people are witnessing this kiss that is much more passionate and deeper than either had anticipated. And when they finally break apart, they both have dopey smiles on their faces, looking at each other.

"I think we should give us a chance, too, Huckleberry," she says softly, letting her thumb trace his cheekbone. "But this is our stop, so we should probably go."

And on Sunday, he decides to let her artwork be the main focus, keeping the fact that they are now together for real a secret for just them. On Monday, at lunch, when they decide to come clean to their friends, they don't know which is more shocking for the other two couples: that they finally pulled their heads out of their butts or the cowboy hat permanently etched into the skin of her ankle and the paintbrush inked on the inside of his bicep.

Either way, their hands clasped under the table, the two blondes can't help but thank whatever being there is out there that they've found each other and that the subway is there for them, that it will be there for them throughout their future milestones, and that it will be the story that they tell their kids: where they met, where they confessed their own feelings on their own, where they got together, and even where he proposed to her on Christmas day and she had cried while saying yes.

written in 2018
also posted on ao3