MASTER YOUR MiNDDESIGN YOUR DESTINY

Proven Strategies 

that Empower You 

to Achieve Anything

You Want in Life

Adam

Khoo

with Stuart Tan

WARNING:

Reading this book and participating fully in all the

activities could positively change your life forever

Published by Adam Khoo Learning 

Technologies Group Pte Ltd

10 Hoe Chiang Road

#01-01 Keppel Towers

Singapore 089315

Copyright © 2004 by Adam Khoo & Stuart Tan

All rights reserved. No part of this publication 

may be reproduced or distributed in any form or 

by any means, or stored in a database 

or retrieval system, without the prior written 

permission of the publisher.

First published 2004

Reprinted 2004, 2005

Cover, Design & Layout: Tan Mui Siang

Illustrations: Robin Tan

Copy Editor: Betty Khoo Kingsley

ISBN 981-05-0856-5

Printed in Singapore

Printed on total chlorine free, 

environmentally friendly paper

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements vi

Introduction  x

About the Authors xiii

Chapter

1 The Patterns of Excellence 1

2 The Ultimate Success Formula 21

3 How to Achieve Anything You Want  41

4 The Key to Absolute Power 65

5 The Incredible Power of Beliefs 85

6 The Secret of Peak Performance 123

7 Directing Your Brain for Optimum Results 159

8 Anchoring: the Keyboard to Your Emotions 207

9 The Transformation of Meaning 229

10 Values: Your Driving Force 253

11 Design Your Destiny 279

12 How to Replicate Someone’s Success Blueprint 325

Bibliography 348

vi

Dedication from the Author Adam Khoo

Dedicated to my parents, my wonderful wife Sally & my

precious daughter, Kelly.

Acknowledgements

I truly wouldn’t be where I am today if not for the thousands of people

who have been there to love, guide, teach, support, motivate and inspire

me during this incredible journey I have been on. 

To my parents Vince, Betty & Joanne who have given me unconditional

love and support throughout the years. To my wife Sally who has been my

pillar of inspiration and strength. To my partner, Patrick Cheo, who has

been sharing my vision and continually pushing me to the next level. To

my partner Stuart Tan for being the ultimate tag team partner and for

joining me on this amazing mission of empowering lives. To my fellow

trainers Gary Lee, Ramesh Muthusamy, Candice Koh and Carol Tham

who keep bringing our programs to a higher level through their passion

and dedication.

To the entire staff of Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group who have

tirelessly spend all their weekends and late nights working to build the

company at an incredible rate. Especially to Sant & Olivia Qiu, Max

Tung, Cindy Lim, Jamie Liu, Serene Wan, CK Chan, Natalie Lim & Carol

Lim. To Tan Mui Siang & Robin Tan for your passion & dedication in

making this book look Great. To Pauline Chua for your invaluable

marketing advice. 

This book is also dedicated to the hundreds of coaches & Whoosh

members who have volunteered their time to continuously come back and

staff of the ‘Superkids™’, ‘I Am Gifted So Are You!™’ and ‘Patterns of

Excellence™’ programs. Special thanks to committee members & senior

coaches Andrew Wee, Mok Tuck Sung, AP Lim, Tiffany Page, Jeannie

Lim, Shane Kwek, Mardiana, Shiau Huey, Pete Tan, Cecilia Chow, Adam

Wong, Bernard Koh, Christine Kerk, Daniel Goh, Nance Peters, Rachel

Ong, Yi Chen, Keng Loy, Kelvin Ho, Darren Toh, Chiong Kong, Yew

Siang, Stella, Adwin, Charles Tng, Brenda Tung, Sherwin Tng, John Tan,

Christine Tan, Petrina Wang, Tee Huat, Don Yap, Shi Ming, Terence Lou,

Toh Yew Soon, Lim Xiang, Xiu Li, Joseph Sim, Peter Khoo, Shukor, Felix

vii

Lim, James Leong CF, Alva, Tiong Boon, Shane Kwek, Alvin Wang,

Stacey Thoi, Choon Fah, Shannaz, Chih Chien, Gerald Lee, Theeban,

Patrick Goh, Jeff Tan, Rossana Chen, Alex Ang, Alex Chua, Lee Kin

Mun, Chee Hoe, Shamsudin, Kalai, Irene Low, Wilson Foo, Andrew

Chan, Charles Yuen, Ying Yan, Wai Keong… Couldn’t have done it

without you guys! 

To all my principals, teachers & lecturers from Ping Yi secondary school,

Victoria Junior College and The National University of Singapore who

have played a tremendous part in shaping the person I am today, especially

to Prof. Wee Chow Hou, Mrs. Lee Phui Mun, Mrs. Ng Gek Tiang, 

Dr. Kulwant Singh & Dr. May Lwin. To my mentors and trainers who

have helped me discover the true power within myself. To my first mentor,

Ernest Wong who taught me who I am. To Dr. Tad James, Dr. Richard

Bandler, John LaValle, Tony Buzan, Brad Sugars and Anthony Robbins

who helped me master NLP & the science of accelerated personal change.

To all the members of the Young Entrepreneurs Organization (Singapore

Chapter) for tremendous fellowship and support. Especially to Elim Chew,

Ricky Chew, Ong Tze Boon, Jeff Goh, Parvindar Singh, Jocelyn Chng,

Goh Bock Seng, Douglas Foo, Michael Moey, Sam Chia, Seah LC,

William Wong and Roger Khoo. To my old friends, Dr. Dennis Wee,

Tommie Goh, Gay Chee Cheong, Dr. Tony Tan & Mrs. Mary Tan, Steve

Boyley, Melvyn Koh, Dave Rogers, David Ong, Manoj Sharma, Morris

Allen, Jim Atchinson, Kenneth Lyen, Gary Tan, Kenneth Wong, Aaron

Ang & Clemen Chiang.

To the management and staff of AIA, John Hancock, Prudential, Great

Eastern Life, Lux Asia, Ngee Ann Polytechnic, NUS, NTU, Youth

Challenge, Marshall Cavendish, Pearsons & Dennis Wee Realty for your

invaluable support. Specially to Goh Nai Kiat & David Lim for all your

support & belief in the ‘Patterns of Excellence™’ program. Thanks to the

staff of Event Gurus especially my partner Zachary Low, colleagues Philip

Lim, Kevin Lim, Grace Neo & Veronica Tan for pulling off the greatest

events, especially ‘Empower Your Life, Design Your Destiny 2003’. And to

the staff of Adcom. Special thanks to Serene Quek, Cedric De Souza,

Dolly Lee, Ivy Lim, Ivy Ang, Conor O’ Sullivan & Afdoli Rahmat. 

viii

Thanks From the Co-Author Stuart Tan 

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a bestselling author. Very

often, I think it’s no big deal. But in many cases, I feel that being a

bestselling author is a tribute to the people who have contributed to my

life, and is a testimony to their dedication and faith in me and my abilities.

In no particular order of merit, I’d like to acknowledge the following

people who have contributed deeply to my life. 

To those I have forgotten to mention, you are somewhere in my

unconscious mind, not forgotten from my heart.

To my parents, who were the ones who continued to support my

initiatives, no matter how maverick they appeared to be, and for your

fantastic teaching and love, often at your expense, and for continuing to

share your knowledge and experience with my course participants. To my

brother, I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you either. I love you all.

To Adam, the person whom I have known the better half of my life, for

having the inspiration to start this whole thing. We earned our success! 

To Patrick, whom I’ll always remember digging trenches with during

Exercise Spade. Believe it or not, you make me feel less tired. We need to

clone you for the next generation of AKLTG staff.

To Candice and Carol, thank you for growing and learning. Your journey

doesn’t stop here! To Gary, for your innovation and dedication. To

Ramesh, for your unending quest for learning and experimentation. You

truly embody the Patterns of Excellence!

To the staff of AKLTG, thanks for your dedication and the long hours. I

love the work we do together, and you have as much respect from me as 

I have for Patrick.

To my close friends, thanks for sharing the special connection, you are all

fantastic: Melvyn Koh, Manoj Sharma, Dr. Beh Chee Yang, James Leong

Chan Foo, Apelles Poh, Ian Poh, Yiow Chye Leong, Lillian Lim, Chris Ng

Wai Chung, Luke Diep, Ronald Tan and Randy Tan, Jerry Low, Sng Yih

and Lorraine Sim, Dr. Edgar Tham, Kae Fong, Willie Lian, Dr. Joel Lee,

Julia Lim, Lydia Low, Rajesh Pillai, Adrian Sim, Samie Tan, Tracy Ong

and Lynn Tan.

To the many Toastmasters who have contributed to my success in more

ways than one. You’ve been there to banter with me and provide me with

opportunities and insights to succeed in public speaking. Special thanks to

Clifford and Frances Ess, Jovin Hurry, Jeremy Eng, Ng Seng Chuan, Dayal

Khemlani, Michael Rodrigues, Dave Rogers, John Sih, Ler Wee Meng,

Richard Sng, Irene Wong, Lillian Lau, Gea Ban Peng, Ng Kwan Kiat,

members of the Brilliant Advanced Toastmasters Club, SRC Toastmasters

Club, Queenstown Toastmasters Club, Tanglin Community Toastmasters

Club, Fort Canning Toastmasters Club, NUS, NTU and NUS Alumni

Toastmasters Clubs, Skymedia Toastmasters Club, SIA Toastmasters Club,

and all those whom I have had the good fortune to compete against in

speech competitions.

Finally, to those who started it all. My gratitude goes out to Dr. Richard

Bandler, my teacher and a real kick-ass presenter. I promise I will be more

competent! Also, John and Kathleen LaValle, for your dynamism and care

for us during our training. To John Grinder and Robert Dilts for having

the courage and capacity to start NLP with Richard.

ix

x

Introduction

It is Imperative We Master Our Minds so We Can Design 

Our Destiny in these Turbulent and Evolutionary Times

There was once a professor who wanted to go down a river, so he

approached a local boatman who agreed to row him downstream for a

small sum of money. 

As they wound their way down the river, the professor decides to show

off his intelligence and high education so he started to test the simple

boatman. 

Taking up a stone he had picked up from the riverbank, the professor

arrogantly asks the boatman, ‘Have you ever studied Geology?’ The

boatman looks at him blankly and replies, ‘Eh..., no.’, hardly even

understanding what the word meant. 

‘Then, I am afraid 25 percent of your life is gone!’ the professor loftily says.

The boatman feels really bad about his ignorance but continues to row on.

As they move further downstream, the river currents begin to get

stronger and stronger. The professor picks up a leaf floating on the river

and asks condescendingly, ‘Boatman, have you ever studied Botany?’

Confused the poor boatman again says, ‘No.’ 

The professor shakes his head and says, ‘Tsk tsk, then 50 percent of

your life is gone.’ He then signals him to carry on rowing. As they move

further downstream, the currents get even stronger, the water is moving

faster and the boat begins to sway violently. 

Suddenly the professor sees a mountain range, points to it and asks,

‘Do you know anything about Geography?’ Feeling very inferior and

humiliated, the boatman again says ‘No.’ 

The professor snaps back. ‘I thought so. Then 75 percent of your life is

gone!’ 

At this point, the river has become a raging torrent. The water is

moving so swiftly that the boatman loses control of the small boat.

Suddenly, the fragile craft smashes against a huge boulder, springs a leak

and begins to sink.

This time the boatman turns to the professor and asks, ‘Professor! Do

you know how to swim?’ The professor fearfully replies, ‘No!’ 

‘Then, I am afraid 100 percent of your life is gone!’ says the boatman

as he leaps off the boat and powers his way to safety on the shore.

Just like the river, we are living in times of rapid and evolutionary

changes. Is the river of life going to get faster and more unpredictable? You

bet! This is only just the beginning. 

xi

What took a decade to change now takes merely months. Think about

this: it took 50 years for cassette tapes to replace records. It then took less

than ten years for compact discs to replace cassette tapes. Soon after, it

took less than five years for Mini-Discs to appear on the scene. Today, less

than three years later, MP3s are looking to make everything else totally

obsolete. 

Mega million-dollar businesses can become bankrupt because of

obsolescence overnight. At the same time, small companies can become

worldwide market leaders in just a few years. Similarly, a professional with

years of experience and a high market value can become economically

unviable within a short period of time. Why? 

The new economy is so dynamic that 80 percent of what you learn in

school will become obsolete by the time you graduate. 30 percent of the

jobs, companies, products and services that are commonplace now never

existed a decade ago. 

Who ever heard of a chief information officer, a website designer,

technopreneurs, internet service providers (ISPs) or net nannies in the

1990s? Similarly, 50 percent of the jobs that exist today will no longer

exist in their present form ten years from now. 

In fact, the average person will probably go through four career

changes (not job changes) in their entire lifetime. Why? Simply because

the jobs they have and the companies they work for will not exist for very

long.

‘The world must change and leaders are the ones who change it’

These seem like scary times, but they can also be awesome times with

unrealised opportunities for those who not only embrace the change but

lead the change! With change, comes incredible opportunity. Think

about it! 

There are now a hundred times more millionaires and many more

billionaires as compared to decades past. And unlike the past when most

of them were in their fifties, today’s billionaires are in their thirties! Today,

with an innovative idea, you could become the owner of a billion dollar

company in less than ten years. Think of Amazon.com, E-Bay, Oracle or

Hotmail. 

Do you have what it takes to swim in the dynamic and ever changing

river of life? Will you crest the new age waves or get caught in the deadly

undertow? 

xii

Will you be like the professor who thinks he knows everything but

drowns in the river of the real world? You and I both know that academic

success, knowledge and intelligence are no guarantees of success in the

new economy. In fact, they could mean very little. 

Some of the movers and shakers of the new economy are school

dropouts who employ ‘professors’ to run their businesses. Bill Gates

(Microsoft), Larry Ellison (Oracle) & Richard Branson (Virgin group)

never finished school. 

While education and academic qualifications are important, they are

not enough if you want to make it in these turbulent evolutionary times.

Those who are the most successful in the new economy are not necessarily

the ones with the highest IQ or the most letters behind their name. It is

those who exhibit certain patterns of excellence.

The patterns of excellence I refer to is the ability to take charge of your

mental resources and unleash your personal power! It is a set of beliefs,

attitudes and behaviors exhibited by individuals who consistently produce

exceptional results.

It is the ability to take charge of your life, be in control of your

emotional state and bring out the best of your personal potential. It is

about having the flexibility to constantly grow by learning, unlearning

and relearning. It is the ability to model and replicate excellence within a

very short period of time. It is being able to constantly respond in an

empowering way to the events swirling around you. 

Those who lack ‘swimming’ skills (professors, professionals or just

plain ordinary people) will continue to be controlled by their external

environment and be ruled by the fear of change and unpredictability. 

They will end up frustrated and powerless victims of this massive wave

of globalization, restructuring and change. Those who can ‘swim’ and ride

this wave will experience wealth, success and fulfillment beyond their

wildest imagination. 

In this book, you will learn how to equip yourself with the mindset,

skills and behavioral patterns to do just this. You will be armed with the

patterns of excellence so you can master your mind and design your

destiny – whatever the external circumstances. 

xiii

About the Authors

Adam Khoo

Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, a best-selling author and a peak

performance trainer. A self-made millionaire by the age of 26, Adam owns

four companies in the areas of advertising, event management, education

and training. He is the Chief Executive Officer of Adam Khoo Learning

Technologies Group Pte Ltd that runs seminars and training programs for

multi national corporations and individuals all over Asia. He is the best-selling author of three other books, ‘I Am Gifted, So Are You!’, ‘How to

Multiply your Child’s Intelligence’ and ‘Clueless in Starting a Business.’

At the age of 29, Adam has trained over 50,000 professionals, managers,

executives, businessmen, educators and students in the accelerated

learning, Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and peak performance

strategies. He is the co-developer of the famous ‘Patterns of

Excellence™’, ‘Superkids™’ & ‘I Am Gifted, So Are You!™’ programs.

His phenomenal achievements are regularly featured in leading print and

broadcast media.

Stuart Tan

Mr. Stuart Tan, MBA (Western Michigan), BA (Hons), S.D.C.G., is the

Executive Director of the Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group Pte

Ltd. He has been a trainer since 1994 and has focused on the development

of personal excellence, performance enhancement, leadership and

communication development, with his background in Management,

Psychology, Linguistics and Counseling. He was Asia’s youngest licensed

trainer of NLP in 1997. Stuart received his trainer’s license in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) from the founder, Dr. Richard Bandler, 

in 1997. 

As a celebrated Toastmaster in Singapore, Stuart has taken part in

and won many national level (Area/Division) speech competitions. He

also is the 1st runner-up of the Toastmasters International, District 51

(Pan South-East Asia) Impromptu Speech Contest, 2001, and Champion

of the Toastmasters International District 51 (Pan South-East Asia)

Evaluation Speech Contest, 2002. He is also a member of the Association

for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD), USA, the

American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress (AAETS), and is

Certified in Acute Traumatic Stress Management.

THE PATTERNS 

OF EXCELLENCE

F

irst, I would like to thank and congratulate you for

picking up this book. The fact that you are investing

your time to read it only means that no matter where

you are in your life you truly desire to achieve a lot more. 

You have taken a most important first step: You have taken

action and are putting that desire on the road to manifesting it.

So, what kind of significant change do you want to create

in your life? Greatly increase your income? Be a much more

effective communicator? Grow as a person? Be the best in your

field? Create stronger relationships with the people you care

about? Whatever it is, know this:

You Have All the Resources You Need to Succeed

Most people set limits on how much they can achieve simply

because they believe they lack the resources needed for

successful outcomes. They believethat they just don’t have the

mental discipline, intelligence, luck, creativity, energy or talent

to live at a level they can only dream of. 

1

‘If only I was more creative or innovative, I would be able to

take advantage of that opportunity.’ Heard that one before? Yes,

so many people believe that they have to wait for resources to

appear (a lottery win or share bonanza), in order for them to use

it to get what they want. 

‘When I have more money, then I can think of starting my

own business.’ ‘When I am more mature, with a lot more

experience behind me, then I can take on that challenge.’

‘When I have more time, then I can start to plan my finances.’

‘When I find a better partner, then I can enjoy a happier

relationship.’ Heard all these before?

The truth is that you already possess all the resources 

you need to get anything you want and produce any result

you desire in your life! That’s right! The resources I am

referring to are your in-born, in-built resources of Brain

and Body working together. 

Our Brain and Body are the most powerful resources that

each and every one of us were born with on this planet. If used

and run effectively, your internal resources will enable you to get

any physical-external resource you require to help you achieve

any goal you desire.

Most people cite lack of MONEY as their number one

excuse for not taking advantage of opportunities and taking

action. Yet we all know that some of the most successful

corporate-household names in the world started with little or no

money. Take Honda and Sony Corporation’s founders, Soichiro

Honda and Akio Morita or even Apple’s founder Steve Jobs. 

They started with nothing but their own ingenuity and

personal power to create winning, innovative products and

wealth followed naturally, which then allowed them to create

even greater wealth. 

TIME is the next most common resource that people say

they lack. Yet we all work by the same clocks. All of us have

twenty-four hours a day within which we have to eat, sleep,

relax, recharge and work, smart or otherwise. 

It is surely therefore our ability to plan, manage and control

how we use time that creates results, or lack of results. Again, it

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 2

3 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

comes back to how we control our own internal resources. Use

them effectively or squander them.

How about OTHER PEOPLE as a resource? 

Here again, many people believethat they just don’t have

the right partners, customers, colleagues, family or bosses to

support their life or career goals. Again, if you have the internal

resources of knowing how to build rapport, influence and direct

the thoughts and behaviors of others positively, you WILL

attract the kind of people you need to help you succeed. So it is

truly how we manage our internal resources that make all the

difference.

We All Have Basically the Same Hardware

But do all of us have the same internal resources available to us?

Do we all have the same mental resources to be influential,

confident, creative, intelligent and so on? The answer is YES! 

At first this may seem a bit hard to believe but if you study

the human brain and the science of neurology (and in recent

decades we have made quantum leaps in our understanding of

our Brain), you will learn that we all share the same basic

neurology or nervous system. 

In other words, we all have got basically the same hardware.

If someone appears more superior to you in intellect or is a much

more effective communicator, it is not because they have a

better ‘bio-computer’. They just have better programs running in

their ‘bio-computer’ than you have (currently). It is these

programs or thought patterns that enable them to be more

motivated, more focused, more analytical, more powerful or to

be a better communicator.

When run in optimal mode your brain is truly capable of

producing any kind of positive and empowering thought or

behavioral pattern, and hence any result that you want. 

Every one of us was born with almost the same basic

neurological makeup. We have approximately 1000 billion

neurons (nerve cells) in our brain, each capable of processing

information at a speed greater than a Pentium four personal

computer. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 4

It has been calculated that if a super computer were to be

built to have anywhere near the storage capacity and processing

capability of the human brain, it would have to be the length of

fifty football fields and the height of the Statue of Liberty. And

yet, your mega brain is powered daily with less electricity than a

ten watt light bulb! How awesome. Think about the miracle

your brain is and what you can do with it.

Neuro-Connections: The Key to Our Thoughts 

& Behavioral Patterns

If all of us have such powerful internal resources, why do so few

produce exceptional results? Why is it that only a handful in

every society or country are able to generate brilliant ideas, stay

focused and motivated, take consistent action and produce a

level of success we can only admire? The difference lies again in

the way we use our brain. Or waste it.

Your thoughts, behaviors, abilities and skills are determined

not by the number of brain cells you have, but rather by how

your neurons are connected together. All of us have different

neuro-connections and that is why we think and behave

differently. 

If someone you know is extremely good in numbers, it is

because he has a lot richer neuro-connections in the area of

mathematical-logical thinking. At the same time this person

may not be very confident in the way he communicates, because

he may have poorer neural connections in this different area of

intellect. 

The same goes for our emotions and habits. If you are always

lazy and unmotivated , it is because your brain cells are wired in

such a way that you consistently fire off negative emotions like

procrastination. 

People who are constantly focused and motivated have a

very different set of neural patterns wired up in their brain. The

kind of neuro-connections you have now is determined by how

your brain has been exposed and stimulated, even before you

were born. 

Your neural patterns began developing twenty weeks from

the time of conception, in your mother’s womb. If you have a gift

5 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

for mathematics, it could be because your brain had been 

exposed to a lot of mathematical stimuli by your mother or 

the people around you. Then, after birth, in your growing-up 

years, especially before the age of fourteen, behavioral traits like 

patience or determination, impatience or stubbornness were also 

installed in your brain through your exposure to role models 

around you. That is how you got programmed to become the 

person you are today.

The good news is that if you have insufficient or ineffective 

neural connections in any area, you can create more useful 

connections through stimulating your brain in the right way 

and creating the right kind of mental patterns. You can also re-program limiting patterns such as phobias and bad habits. 

In my ‘I Am Gifted, So Are You!™’ training programs, I 

teach students who have very bad memory to use an effective 

memory strategy and rehearse it until it becomes a new pattern

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 6

in their brain. Within half an hour of stimulation, they find

themselves able to memorize a list of 50 words in sequence in

less than five minutes. 

In our Patterns of Excellence™ program, we use a technique

called the Swish Pattern to help people change their old neural

patterns of constantly procrastinating into taking consistent

action. Remember that every habitual pattern is the result of the

way our neural connections are wired. When we learn how to re-program these neural patterns, we can change and create any

result we want.

Research into the brain has shown that in a lifetime, the

average person uses less than one percent of the total number of

possible neural connections that can be formed in their brains.

With 1000 billions neurons, each having the capability of

making thousands of neural connections with one another, the

total possible number of connections, if permutated, would be

far in excess of the number of atoms in the universe. In other

words, there is nothing the human brain cannot achieve, with

the right strategy and stimulation.

If We Can Replicate A Winner’s Mental Blueprint, 

We Can Replicate their Success 

If we can replicate the way a winner runs his brain, then we can

replicate the way they think and behave, and hence the results

they produce. If others can walk on stage and deliver a speech

with confidence, so can you. 

If others are able to constantly direct their emotions to feel

motivated and confident, so can you! If others display highly

creative skills, you can do so too. Remember, they are able to do

so because they are running effective mental programs. With the

same neurology, you just have to unlock their secrets and run

your brain in exactly the same way.

Think about this for a while. 

Are you afraid of public speaking? Some people get terrified

just by looking at a large audience in front of them. Their hands

turn cold, their legs shake uncontrollably, their face turns white

and they start to stutter when they open their mouths. This is

close to the psychiatric definition of a phobia and all of us have

7 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

these intense and uncontrollable fears of one thing or another.

Yet at the same time, why is it that another person, seeing

exactly the same audience can feel comfortable, relaxed,

confident – even eager to speak.

Such seemingly natural orators speak to an entire

auditorium as easily as if there was only one person in front of

them. They may even be able to entertain the audience, make

people loosen up and laugh, and they feel great about being up

there too. 

Again, what is it that makes the confident speaker different

from the fearful one? They have the same mental resources

available to them. The difference lies in how they represent the

experience of the audience and the stage in their brains. You see,

the thought and behavioral patterns they run through their

neuro-connections are completely different. The first person’s

brain is wired up in such a way that seeing the audience

immediately triggers off a ‘fear’ program that shuts their entire

body down. This is expressed physically in sweaty palms and

brow, butterflies in the stomach. 

Quite the opposite occurs when the confident speaker sees

the audience. His neural connections fires off a ‘relaxed and

confident’ pattern that allows him to perform at his best!

Unfortunately, most people have never learned how to

direct and re-program the limiting patterns they run. They are

not in charge of their brains. Instead, their brains take charge of

them. They let their brains go on ‘auto pilot’, running mediocre

programs that keep limiting their performance. As a result, they

will always feel that there are things they can never do, simply

because they believethat it is not within their control. Or ability.

Once you learn how to change a program in your brain, in

fact any program, it will ultimately change how your body

reacts. And you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

You too can do what you thought was impossible before, like

exercising consistently until you get to your ideal weight. Or

give a powerful speech and inspire a two-thousand strong

audience. 

The science I have learned in order to do this, and which I

will share with you in the chapters of this book, is the science of

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 8

personal development known as Neuro-linguistic Programming

or NLP. 

It is the technology of the mind that teaches you to use the

language of the mind (linguistic) in order to program and re-program your nervous system (neuro) to consistently achieve a

particular desirable result. NLP was first developed by Dr.

Richard Bandler & Dr. John Grinder in the 1970s. 

How I Took Charge of My Life

I was 13 when I was first exposed to NLP’s mind-boggling ideas

and strategies. I was with a bunch of students of assorted ages,

boys and girls from various secondary schools, and we had been

sent to a residential motivational camp for teens. 

Looking back I can say I was at a very low point in my young

life. I had just squeaked into one of the lower ranked secondary

schools in the country. 

Earlier on, at the age of eight, I had been expelled from a

primary school for misbehavior: my poor academic results did

not help. I did so poorly for the Primary School Leaving

Examinations (PSLE), I was rejected by every one of the six

secondary schools my parents had chosen. 

So I ended up in a government school called Ping Yi.

Initially, I was still academically very weak. I had passed only

four subjects out of eight and was placed near the bottom of the

school. Not only was I poor in my studies, but I was also

physically weak and mentally lethargic. I had very poor social

skills, I was bored, indifferent and soon became a ‘problem

student’. I joined the Scouts movement only to be thrown out

after six months for not being able to pass the ‘Scout standard’,

the most basic test needed to qualify to be a scout. Did I try? Not

at all.

Like all other troubled and troublesome teenagers, I was

addicted to arcade games and moronic TV programs. You could

say I stirred to some semblance of life (pushing levers/buttons)

in front of those violent games and sank into a stupor in front of

the goggle box. 

So, it was that I, a bored, boring and thoroughly indifferent

teenager, was first exposed to Neuro Linguistic Programming

9 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

(NLP) ideas. So radical from anything I had ever been taught or

shown. 

Somehow, something stirred in that sluggish brain I had so

underutilized for so long. The first and most fundamental

principle I learnt in NLP was that our beliefs act as the ‘on’ and

‘off’ switch to our brain’s potential. 

When we believe we can do something, we virtually tap into

our brain’s resources. And we will summon all our internal

resources to find a way to support that belief. If we believe

that something is impossible, we don’t even try thinking of

a way. We shut out the possibility altogether! 

This whole new way of thinking began to excite me, to

challenge me as nothing had ever done before.

Bing! Like a light bulb going off in my face, I realized that all

my negative beliefs were the first (possibly the only) thing that

was holding me back. 

I used to believe that I was not as intelligent as other kids.

Being in a close-knit extended family with cousins in gifted

streams and in the best schools didn’t help! I used to believe that

I was born lazy, slow, unmotivated, maybe even stupid. That no

matter what I did, I would never excel in anything. I was not

gifted musically nor did I show any sporting prowess. I was just so

very average in those departments. 

What I learnt from my many mentors inspired, stimulated

and challenged me. I decided to adopt a new belief that ‘if it was

possible for others, it would be possible for me. It was only a

question of strategy.’ 

That if I could model someone’s strategy and adopt it, then I

could achieve any goal. Suddenly, the 13 year-old that I was had

kindled in myself a burning desire to see if it was truly possible.

Wow, what could it do for me?

So I decided to test it out. I set three seemingly impossible

goals at the time. My first goal was to top my school within a

year. My second goal was to do well enough to qualify for the top

junior college in Singapore (reserved for only the top 5% of

students in the country). My third goal was to qualify for the

National University of Singapore and rank among its top

students. You can imagine that ambition, coming from someone

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 10

who was probably near the bottom 20% of students in the

country, seemed like a crazy fantasy.

Using the principle of modeling, I went out and started to

study the strategies that top students were using to get such

fantastic results. I operated from the framework that if I used my

brain in the same way, I would be able to replicate their success.

So, I modeled their patterns of excellence. 

How did they take notes? How did they stay motivated? How

did they concentrate? How did they memorize so easily? How

did they grasp difficult concepts? How did they tackle tough

examination questions? I started to compile all these mental

success blueprints and then proceeded to install these strategies

within myself. 

From Below Average to Gifted Student

I started thinking and doing exactly what they did. I took notes

the same way, asked the same kind of questions and approached

questions in the same manner. By constantly stimulating my

brain like they did theirs, I inevitably started creating the same

excellent results they had. 

Within a year, from passing just two subjects, I scored 7As

and ranked among the top ten students in my school. In three

years, I topped the school with the lowest scoring aggregate and

I became the first and only student from my school to qualify for

the number one junior college in Singapore that year, Victoria

Junior College. I later went on to qualify for the National

University of Singapore (open to only the top 10% of students

in the country) and was ranked the top one percent of academic

achievers there within a year. Within six short years, I found

myself being ranked among the top one percent of students in

the country. 

I Am Gifted, So Are You!

The phenomenal results I managed to create reinforced my

belief that with the right strategy (I call it the patterns of

excellence), anybody can mentally orientate himself or herself

to achieve success in any area. 

11 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

I began teaching my ‘Genius strategy’ to other students,

many of them below average in their academic studies, some of

them even having learning disabilities. The results were amazing

and most encouraging. Many of those who used my strategy

experienced the same phenomenal improvements in their grades

as well.

While still an undergraduate I decided to write a book

compiling all these success blueprints for academic excellence.

The book, ‘I Am Gifted, So Are You!’ was launched in 1998 and

became a national number one bestseller within 6 months.

If I Could Achieve this, then I Can 

Achieve Anything!

As you all know success in school has very little to do with a

person’s ability to be successful in the real world of business. 

So my next challenge was to be able to create success beyond

the classroom. I knew that if I applied the very same principles

of modeling and replicating patterns of excellence, then nothing

was impossible. My major career goals were to make my first

million by the age of 26, to start and build a million dollar

business and to become one of the best speakers in Asia. So

again I dedicated all my time and energy to study and model the

best speakers and entrepreneurs in the world. 

I read over four hundred books. (Quite a feat for someone

who never read anything more challenging than Archie comics

until ideas of personal development germinated in my brain). I

read biographies of self-made millionaires and inventors, I read

books on wealth creation, psychology, linguistics and personal

development. 

I then started putting into practice what I learnt by taking

massive action. I started my first business (a mobile disco which

grew into event management) at the age of 15, and a second

business (training and consulting) at the age of 21 and started

property and equity investing at 22.

While studying hard for my exams (O levels, A levels,

University) I spent my free time making deals, running my

businesses and taking on as many speaking engagements as I

could find. Within two years after graduation from university, at

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 12

age 26, I had created a net worth of over $1.2 million, was

running two successful businesses and commanding up to $2,000

an hour in speaking fees. 

I had spoken to over 50,000 teachers, students, professionals,

managers and CEOs in the area of accelerated learning and

personal excellence.

The Birth of Patterns of Excellence

As my business, wealth and reputation multiplied exponentially

over the next three years, my personal vision began to take

shape. I discovered what the true purpose of my life all was

about. 

I learned that what really drove me was not just the money

but the intense fulfillment of being able to see the people

around me realize and tap into their immense potential. 

I realized that there were so many people out who, if

exposed to this science of personal mastery, would also 

be able to create miracles in their own life. 

It was at this time that my life path crossed with an ‘old’ (but

young like myself!) friend, Stuart Tan. Stuart happened to be

walking a very similar path to self-awareness… the rapport was

instantaneous. 

It was a meeting of like minds. Together we developed the

Patterns of Excellence Program, an eight-day intensive personal

development program that empowers people to develop Personal

& People Mastery. 

The program became an overnight sensation. Within 12

months of launching the first class, we trained over 500 people

from the ages of 16 to 62. Results were extremely encouraging.

We had people who made over a quarter million in six months,

people who had lost over 18 pounds in three months,

undergraduates and post-graduates who had scored straight As.

Also people who had overcome lifelong phobias, people who

had overcome ingrained bad habits and addictions and people

who were able to re-ignite the passion and focus in their lives.

13 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

Stuart Tan – the Model of Excellent Communicators

Once an inept speaker and poor socializer who could not even

establish rapport with his schoolmates, Stuart tells of how he

discovered the strategies that changed his life and made him a

champion speaker of the region.

S

eeing me in action as a regional competitive speaker, personal

development trainer and counselor, one would assume that I was a 

born communicator. I appear to be totally at ease whether I am on 

stage speaking to an audience of thousands or mingling socially with a 

group of high achievers. 

But this was far from the case when I was much younger (I am 30). I was 

an extremely withdrawn person, so much so that I even found it tough to 

get along with the people around me. 

As a teenager I was labeled a ‘nerd’ and felt alienated from most of my 

peers. But the worst experience came when I was chosen to lead a team 

of 40 student leaders in junior college. Because of my poor social skills I 

felt uncomfortable communicating with everyone in my team. 

I lacked the ability to bond and to establish working rapport. It seemed 

that only a handful of students in the group really wished me to succeed. 

I encountered either resistance or apathy, and eventually even those 

students who supported me felt themselves drained by the experience. 

The pain of being an outsider in my own territory became so intense that, 

on several occasions when I put down by some of those under my charge 

in hurtful ways, I considered quitting my position. 

My self-esteem was at its lowest, and I remember that for a long time I 

had difficulty sleeping and found it really tough to concentrate. 

I may have had all the book knowledge but when it came to communicating

what I knew and had even prepared for, I was hopeless. 

I still remember one particularly humiliating public speaking experience. 

I was addressing a group of about 70 teachers whose average ages was

probably a gazillion years more than mine. That was daunting enough! 

Although I had spent hours preparing and crafting every word and every 

joke, none of the teachers appeared entertained or even engaged. Some

sniggered, more likely because I appeared to be the joke itself. 

Soon, I saw some of them drift off to sleep while those still awake made 

funny frowning faces while pointing towards me. I nearly became homicidal. 

I finally left the stage after introducing the next speaker. I had such an 

empty feeling inside of me.

Because of all these cumulative ego-puncturing experiences, I started to

believe that, for whatever reason, I just could not relate and communicate

with others. Not even normally, much less effectively!

Why did I feel so nervous and anxious in front of people? Why didn’t people

like me? Why was it so difficult to build rapport with them? Why was I not 

able to express myself effectively? And why was it that other people had 

so much more charisma and were able to build rapport and influence the

people around them so easily?

I felt all this pain and helplessness but did not have either the knowledge 

or the skills to change myself. Never did I dream during those despondent

days that I would ever be in control of my emotions or communicate as

confidently and effectively as those people I admired. 

I must add that my mum and dad were both educators (now retired) and 

while they were very supportive, they could not help me build rapport with

my peers. That is not something any parent, however concerned or well

intentioned, can do. 

The dramatic turnaround came when I was exposed to the awesome power 

of NLP through a series of personal development programs and books. 

My excitement and confidence grew as I learned that I had all the mental

resources available to me to be a dynamic communicator. The only thing

holding me back was that I did not know the right strategies I needed to

harness to get myself into action. 

It was heady empowering stuff – learning that if it was possible for others 

to become powerful communicators, then so could I. All I had to do was to

model and install their patterns of excellence. 

How do they carry themselves? What gives them ease and confidence? 

How do they use words and the right tone of voice to win over their

audience? 

From that point onward I started dedicating all my spare time to modeling 

the people around me who had exceptional interpersonal and speaking 

skills. With NLP I found myself being able to take immediate control of my

emotional state. I was able to eliminate fear, anxiety and nervousness using

the mind conditioning techniques you will learn in the coming chapters. 

Finally, I learnt how to put myself into a state of confidence and enthusiasm…

ready to take the stage again.

I started to put myself on the line by taking every possible opportunity to 

get on stage and deliver presentations. I put myself into situations where I

was forced to communicate & lead others. The changes that I had to make 

(to my persona) were drastic and quantum… I really stretched myself.

But the results… the applause… made it all worthwhile. As a result of

constantly installing and implementing all these strategies, I found myself

getting more and more effective on and off stage. 

Soon I was given the opportunity to deliver a full-day seminar on ‘memory

skills’ to an audience of 115 students. I gave it everything I got. Putting

myself into a totally powerful state of mind I delivered my material with 

pin-point accuracy and dynamism. The response was phenomenal. I got 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 14

15 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

a standing ovation and even had students come up to ask me for

autographs! I felt like a star and knew then what it was like to have

charisma!

As these positive experiences started building up, so did my confidence 

and faith in my ability to achieve anything, given the right strategies. 

I earned my degree in psychology and linguistics and an MBA (Western

Michigan) while my NLP training culminated in my receiving my NLP

trainer’s license by Dr. Richard Bandler (Co-founder of NLP) in America 

in 1997. 

At 23, I had become the youngest Singaporean NLP trainer. When I

returned, I felt invincible and began to set a quantum goal of becoming the

public speaking champion of the Toastmasters movement, not just

nationally but in the region. 

The first thing I did was to begin to model the most outstanding public

speakers. In my very first competition, I made it to third place. Then I made 

it to second place in an evaluation speech contest at the national level. The

following year, I found myself wanting to win so badly. Again, I found myself

taking second place in an impromptu speech competition. 

After becoming number two twice in a row, I was very determined to 

win the next time round. It was an absolute must! So, taking all the lessons 

I had learnt as feedback, I channeled them towards crafting my peak

winning performance.

I vividly remember deliberately taking charge of my emotional state 

(so cool and calm), and in my mind’s eye I saw myself performing at peak. 

I finally blazed my way home with the Championship trophy. 

After five years of competitions, I had clinched the champion speaker award

for Toastmasters International District 51 (Pan South-East Asia) Evaluation

Speech Competition Year 2002. 

It was exhilarating because, for the very first time, I was publicly acclaimed 

as a top speaker, and in front of a huge audience too. It fortified my belief 

in my speaking abilities. 

And winning the top prize was not only personally so satisfying. Over 

the past 10 years, as part of my natural progress in public speaking, I had

multiplied my income by over 1000%. 

It is also immensely satisfying for me now to be in a position to help 

so many people make positive changes in their lives. After receiving a

specialist diploma in counseling, I had spent my free time counseling all

kinds of people, from troubled teenagers to schizophrenics. Now, I add 

to these lost souls, people of all ages, from all walks of life.

My early painful experiences and later enriching experiences combine 

to reinforce my belief that if a someone like myself can reach such an

exceptional level of communication, then anybody can. If he or she is 

given the right tools and strategies. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 16

Stuart and I Share with You How We ‘Live Our Lives of

Possibilities’… so You Can Begin to Unlock the ‘Genius’ 

in Each One of You 

We begin this book by narrating our personal experiences not to

impress you but to impress upon you that we started off just like

most other people. 

We were not blessed with exceptional natural talents in any

particular area, be it the ability to learn, speak or lead others. We

were responsible for creating our own genius and success. 

Everything you read here is not the result of us just cobbling

together a bundle of theories and principles that we had studied.

The life-changing Patterns of Excellence methodology we

present to you in the pages to come have been very much a part

of the way we live our lives of possibility. And the way the

thousands of people who have trained with us, and under us,

have experienced it. 

It is this same soft technology that is now available to you.

Your key to unlock the talent and energy you already possess…

to create the life you want! 

This book is designed for only one purpose, to act as an

instruction manual to your greatest resource and asset, your

brain and nervous system. 

Give Your Best, And You Will Get the Best

My ability to discover and model some of the best strategies

available came from the many books I read, seminars I attended

and mentors that I have been fortunate enough to train under.

And yet, I know of so many people who read the same books,

attended the same seminars but who never went on to make a

single notable improvement in the quality of their lives. 

I learned then that neither books nor seminars can make us

achieve our goals, not unless WE make it work. I believe that we

get as much out of anything as we put into it.

Most people wait for something external to change them,

but what they must realize is that they change themselves with

what they learn.

17 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

I remember watching the comedy ‘Bruce Almighty’ starring

Jim Carrey where God played by Morgan Freeman tells Bruce

(someone who feels victimized by God and prays for help), ‘If

you want to see a miracle in your life, then be that miracle.’

Because you have taken the step to read this book, I feel a

personal responsibility for your success. I encourage you not to

read this book like any other book you may have read. Rather,

take these words you read as a personal conversation between us. 

This book and the ideas that follow cannot change your life.

You are the only one who CAN, by using the ideas I share in

these pages. I encourage you to fully participate in all the

activities and exercises that follow. This book has been written

in such a way that it places as much emphasis on the

experiential as on the intellect.

THERE ARE 

FOUR BASIC

MINDSETS 

OF PEOPLE 

IN THE WAY

THEY READ

BOOKS

The first category of people have this resistant

attitude that ‘It won’t work’. ‘I have read

other self improvement books before and it hasn’t

worked on me’. 

Then you have a second category of people who start

reading with the attitude of ‘let’s just see’.

These are the people who will read the book

passively, skipping all the exercises and adopting a

‘let’s see if there are any interesting ideas’ stance.

Unfortunately, while these readers may be

entertained while reading or even become aware of

some good ideas, they will not do anything about it. 

Then you have a third category who read with the

attitude ‘let’s give it a try’. These people

will read the book and try out some of the exercises

that interest them. But that is just about all they do.

Do they get anything out of the book? Hardly. 

Then you have the last and final category. The people

who read with the attitude of ‘I’m giving

this book my one hundred

percent’. They read the book, underline the key

concepts and constantly refer to what they have

learnt. They do the exercises diligently, and take

each idea into their lives and work on it. These are

the people who create a significant change in the

results they produce in their lives. So, before moving

on to the next chapter, I sincerely hope that you will

commit yourself to not just learning but mastering

these patterns of excellence.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 18

19 PATTERNS OF EXCELLENCE

For the upcoming chapters, I would like you to commit the time to

reflect and work on the exercises given. These exercises are aimed 

at helping you put these principles into immediate action and reap

the results you deserve. So for your first exercise, I want you to grab

your pen and work on the questions below. When you are done, I 

will see you in Chapter 2.

Chapter Assignment

What are five (or more) specific outcomes you want to achieve from

reading this book?

What are three major goals (be specific) you want to achieve in the

next two years?

What limiting beliefs, capabilities or habits are currently preventing

you from achieving your goals?

1

2

3

4

5

1

2

3

Chapter Summary

1 We all have the mental resources we need 

to succeed. We merely lack the ability 

to control and direct these resources.

2 With the necessary mental resources, 

you will attract the necessary physical 

resources.

3 We all have basically the same neurology 

– 1000 billion neurons (hardware). What 

sets people apart in terms of intelligence, 

thought and behavioral patterns are the 

neuro-connections that have been 

conditioned from our environment.

4 If we can replicate a Winner’s mental 

blueprint, we can duplicate his/her success.

THE ULTIMATE

SUCCESS FORMULA

‘Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people 

into thinking they can’t lose’ – Bill Gates

O

kay, so we now know that we all have the same bio-hardware, the same mental resources and it’s just a

question of our installing the right programs…

Let’s start by walking in the footsteps of the winners, the

people who produce exceptional results… the people who have

learned to direct their resources in an optimal way. If we can

model the patterns of excellence they exhibit, then surely we

can duplicate the same outstanding results they have! Is it that

easy? 

Well, one question I have always asked myself is this: Is

there a formula for success? Do all successful individuals follow

a pattern that enables them to get what they want?’ 

After studying hundreds of role models from books,

seminars and interviews, I discovered that although many

successful individuals, in all fields of endeavors, appear to make

very different decisions given similar situations and they also 

2

use very different approaches and strategies, yet all of them have

something in common. And it is this. All of them take a series

of distinctive steps to get to what they want.

I call these series of steps the Ultimate Success Formula.

Again, it does not matter if you want to be a whiz inventor,

successful salesperson, inspiring teacher, pioneering entrepreneur,

topnotch lawyer or astronaut. The universal steps remain the same. 

There are six major steps. Follow this success formula, and you

will be able to achieve anything you want. Miss any of these steps,

and your dreams will never become the reality that you deserve.

Step 1. Be Very Specific about Your Goal

The first step to getting what you want is to know exactly what

it is that you want. This sounds simple and obvious enough. Yet,

sadly, most people never seem to get what they want, simply

because they are not clear about what it is they want in the first

place!

Most people say that they want to be successful in life, yet

ask them what they want to achieve and most would say, ‘I am

not really sure’ or they will give vague answers such as, ‘I want

to be happy’, ‘I want to have more money’, ‘I want a better job’,

‘I want to have less worries’. 

Well, know this: unless you have a specific goal, there is

nothing tangible you can focus your time and energy on. This is

why most people find themselves going in all other directions,

ending up nowhere. 

Unless you have a specific target, you cannot develop an

effective strategy to get there. The strategy required to make

$200,000 is completely different from the strategy needed to

make $20 million. The moment you clarify your goals, see them

in your mind-eye (it’s called creative visualization) you will start

to have focus in your life. It will then become crystal clear to you

what it is you must do to get there. 

Biographies of the most successful and legendary people,

again in all pursuits, show time and again that their outstanding

achievements are rarely outcomes of chance. They did not have

success thrust onto them. Their phenomenal successes are the

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 22

23 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

results of clearly defined outcomes that they had predetermined,

and worked towards unwaveringly, often at a very early stage of

their life. 

A

t the age of eight, Tiger Woodsset his goal of breaking every

record set in golf and to become the world’s number one

golfer. He accomplished this feat 13 years later at the age of

21. How? He spent those thirteen years focusing on his game in order

to take it to the level he needed in order to be the best. 

At the age of 12, Steven Spielbergknew that what he wanted to do

was to tell stories to the world by making movies. It was this specific

goal that directed him to spend his time making home videos at the

age of 12 and exposing himself to movie sets at universal studios at

the age of 18. It was these years of focused effort that allowed him to

build the level of experience and skill he needed to make some of the

best movies around.

Did Bill Clintonhappen to be at the right place and at the right time

when the Democrats nominated him to run for the Presidency? No

way! It took years of focus and planning in one upward direction that

won him the most powerful position in the world. 

Born the son of a poor widow in America’s poorest state, Bill Clinton

seemed to have had every handicap… yet young Bill had a clear vision

that it would be his mission in life to improve the lives of millions, by

leading his country one day. It was this clear vision that motivated 

him to run for elections on student committees in every school he

attended. In fact, at one time, he was barred from running for any

more college committee positions because he was already heading far

too many! In Hillary Clinton’s best-selling book, ‘Living History’, she

recounts how he went around telling everyone that one day he would

be the President of the United States, when they were both still

studying in Yale university!

Very few successful experiences happen by chance… whether it

is winning a race or a position. Almost all happen by design. Yet,

the sad fact is that most people do not have a plan for their lives,

and end up falling into somebody else’s plan. It’s only when we

know what we want very specifically that we are then able to

focus all our talents and energy. Like a laser beam honing in on

its target. And in moving unwaveringly towards it, we develop

the resources necessary to make it happen. Wherever you are in

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 24

your life right now, you must begin to set specific goals on what

you want to achieve in the different areas of your life. In chapter

11 we will focus on how you can design the ultimate destiny for

yourself!

Step 2. Develop a Strategy

Everything is possible. It is only a question of the strategy used.

The second step in the Ultimate Success Formula is to develop

a strategy that will move you towards your outcome. Again, the

more specific your goal is, the easier it is to develop an

appropriate strategy. You can have all the drive and energy, but

without the right strategy, you will never get what you want. By

the same token, every outcome is possible, given an effective

strategy. 

For example, imagine yourself as the small business owner of

a fruit shop that makes $10,000 in profits a month. Let’s say that

you decided to set a goal of increasing profits to $15,000 a

month. Would that be possible? Probably. You could work a lot

harder, raise prices, increase trading hours, sell on-line or create

a loyalty program. 

What if you set a goal of making $3 million a month from

your fruit business? Would it be achievable? Most people would

say, ‘Of course not, there is no way you can make that kind of

money from a fruit business like that!’ True enough. Making $3

million a month from that fruit business is impossible, if the

owner continues to use the same business strategy. Yet, if he were

to completely change the way he now does his small localized

fruit business, would it be possible? 

For instance, the strategy he could use would start by his

studying how to greatly expand his market: he would write a

dynamic business plan, raise capital through investments, invest

in R & D to develop a superior brand of fruit (for example,

Organic Certified food products are seeing phenomenal growth

Goal

Strategy

25 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

everywhere as people become health conscious) and widen his

range of fruit (e.g. offer sun dried fruit without sulfur, candied

fruit using organic sugar, pureed fruit rolls for kids), support

reliable new suppliers, build a franchise system and then license

thousands of business owners around the world to sell his fruit.

Would it then be possible for him to earn $3 million a month?

Of course it would! With enough flexibility in our strategy, we

can achieve just about anything. 

You still wonder how a local fruit shop can possibly expand

and go global? Impossible?

Well, how did a British housewife create some skin and hair care products

in her kitchen using fruits and vegetables and then pit herself against

billion-dollar, heavily advertised international cosmetic brands succeed

nationally and then globally? She developed the right strategy, which

included the right unique products. This person I am referring to is 

Anita Roddickwho founded the multi-million dollar chain of Body Shops.

Unique Strategies, Unique Products and Services

What I have found time and again is that people who are able to

produce exceptional results (a rare breed admittedly, but

together we’ll change that!) use different strategiesfrom the

majority. 

When I had the opportunity to work with the top 1% of

insurance agents (average yearly income of over $500,000), I

found that they did not just work harder than the 99% who

earned less than $50,000 a year. They used a completely

different approach in managing their time, generating leads,

converting sales and creating repeat businesses.

So, taking your cue from the winners, study their strategies.

If you want to be a millionaire, study the strategies of

millionaires. If you want to be a great leader, model the patterns

of great leaders. 

Chapter 12 teaches you to craft a winning strategy by modeling

people who have already achieved what you want, or where you

want to get to.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 26

Step 3. Take Consistent Action

The third step is to get yourself to take consistent action, using

the strategy you have crafted. This will move you, step by step,

towards your goal. Consistent action is what separates the

thinkers or dreamers from the doers. 

Many highly educated people know what to do, they think

they know how to do it, but they never do anything about it.

That is why many of them end up as professionals and

consultants, working for successful entrepreneurs who had

mediocre grades in school. Fine, if that’s what they want in life,

there is nothing wrong as long as they are fulfilled. 

But if you are not satisfied with your status quo, then DO

something about it. 

Do you know someone who may be less talented and

intelligent than you are but is a lot more successful? Have you

ever asked yourself, ‘I know I am better than they are, but why

are they so much more successful?’ Well, you may be smarter, but

they take a lot more action and that is why they get a lot more

results! And one of the actions they take may well mean their

learning rapport/social building skills and teamwork skills, all

necessary tools for any kind of success.

So why do so many intelligent people fail to take consistent

action towards their goals? 

Well, first understand that what drives our actions are the

emotional states that we experience. Emotions like fear, inertia,

anxiety and uncertainty paralyze us from taking action. On the

other hand emotions like enthusiasm, motivation and

confidence excite us and get us to make things happen. 

The ability to direct and manage your states for peak

performance is what is called Personal Mastery. 

Goal

Strategy

Action

27 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

Many people I know seem to brim over with great ideas and

they have the intelligence to be successful, but they lack the

personal mastery to direct their emotions into getting

themselves to take action. 

They may have a great business idea, but their fear holds

them back. They may set inspiring new goals, but they lack the

motivation to do what it takes. They may even get themselves

to take action initially, but stop once they experience frustration

or anxiety.

In Chapters 6, 7 & 8, you will learn how to take charge of your

emotional states in order to consistently perform at your peak. 

Step 4. Turn Failure into Feedback 

When you follow your strategy and take consistent action, there

are only two possible things that can happen. The first possible

outcome is that you experience success by moving towards or

achieving your goal. 

However, we know that we do not always achieve our goals.

We can take action and get what we don’t want. Many of us call

this failure! Does failure happen to everybody? Of course it does. 

All of us will fail at one point of time or another. In fact, the

more action you take in life, the more likely you are to

experience failure. That is why people who experience a lot of

success also experience a lot more failure than everybody else

around them. 

Goal

Strategy

Action

Success

Failure

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 28

Three Ways People Deal with Failure 

What separates people who enjoy success from the majority who

end up never getting what they want is how they respond to

failure. It is what they do about failure that makes a big difference.

There are three ways in which people respond to failure. 

Pattern 1: Give Excuses, Lay Blame & Give Up

What do some people do when they don’t get what they want?

They will start giving themselves lots of excuses and blame

everything and everyone around them. They say things like, ‘It’s

not fair’, ‘I’m just not smart enough’, ‘It’s just too difficult’, ‘I’m

too young’ or ‘I’m too old’, ‘I just didn’t have the luck’, ‘the

depressed economy affected me’. 

Feeling helpless and frustrated, this first group will stop

taking action and give up! They will resign themselves to their

goal being out of reach and live a life of mediocrity. 

These are the people who will often say, ‘I’ve tried that

before and it didn’t work!’ Know anyone who consistently

exhibits this pattern? Have there been times when you have

done this as well?

Think and write down all the instances when you gave yourself excuses,

blamed others and gave up on your goal?

Action

Give excuses, 

lay blame & give up

Failure

29 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

Pattern 2: Keep Trying the Same Thing Over and Over Again

These are the people who have a lot more determination than

the first. When they don’t get their outcome, they will not quit.

They will get themselves to take action again. The motto of this

group is, ‘I failed because I did not try hard enough’ or ‘If I keep

trying, I will eventually succeed’. So they keep taking action,

putting in more time, energy and effort. No matter how many

times they fail, they just keep trying harder and harder. 

Will they eventually achieve their goals? It depends. If they

set small, incremental goals, they may, with enough time and

effort eventually succeed. However, if they set big and

exceptional goals, like becoming the top in their field, they will

never be successful by just trying again and again. They may

experience a better result, but they won’t reach the goals they

desire. Why? 

Because, although they keep taking action, they do not

change their strategy. If you keep using the same approach to

doing something, you are going to keep getting the same result.

I have seen so many professionals and businessmen repeat this

limiting pattern. 

I know many businessmen who fail in their business only to

start again and do the same thing. They keep putting in ads that

don’t work, they hire ineffective people or they use the same

business model. 

I have worked with salespeople who put in more time and

energy every month, without significantly increasing their sales.

Why? Again, they keep targeting the wrong customers, selling

the same products and making ineffective presentations. Pretty

soon, they start to get frustrated and disillusioned. Eventually,

they too will resign themselves to believing that they do not

have what it takes, and stop taking action.

Action

Failure

Try again

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 30

Goal

Strategy

Action

Success

Failure

Feedback

I once worked with a real estate agent who had been in the

business for eight years. He worked hard, but he lacked the spirit

to aim for the top producer award (you had to close $900,000 in

sales a month to have a chance). When I asked him why he

didn’t aim for the top spot, he said that he had tried many times

in the past but the best he could achieve was only $500,000 a

month. He then said that he didn’t have the luck and capability

that agents who have won it had. I then asked him what strategy

he had used. He responded saying, ‘I’ve tried everything’, ‘I have

got eight years experience in this business, don’t tell me what to

do.’ I later found out that he kept going about his sales the same

way, thinking he had really tried everything. 

To me, he actually had ‘one year’ of experience, but it was

eight years old! 

Now, do you know of people who have fallen into such

repetitive patterns in their life? Have there been times when you

have fallen into this category?

Think and write down all the times when you kept trying something again

and again, but failed to change your strategy. Did you get frustrated over

your lack of progress and eventually quit?

Pattern 3: Get Feedback, Change Strategy and Take Action

Until You Succeed

31 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

So what is the pattern that all successful individuals exhibit?

When they don’t achieve their goals, they don’t think of it as

failure. Instead, they perceive it as feedback. Either feedback

that the strategy they used was ineffective or that they did not

take enough action. They then use this feedback to immediately

change their strategy and take action again. 

If they still don’t succeed, they will get more feedback,

change their strategy and take action again. They keep repeating

this process until they get what they want. They do whatever it

takes.So, remember, every time you don’t get what you want, it

is life giving you feedback. It is this continuous feedback you

need to help you adjust your approach until you hit your target. 

It is said that Thomas Edison took almost 10,000 attempts

before inventing the light bulb.When asked how he did it, he

said that he had to first find 9,999 strategies of how not to

invent the light bulb. He then used this feedback to change his

strategy until he got what he wanted.

Bill Clinton has not been called the Comeback Kid for

nothing.He had many monumental knock downs on the rocky

road to his two-term Presidency, but each time he learned, he re-strategized and went back fighting. His campaign staff and wife

narrate how, even late into the night, if there was one person

still awake and out there in the street, Clinton would zoom in

on this ‘potential voter’ and keep on talking. And now, finally,

he is being recognized as being one of the most brilliant and

most genuinely compassionate Presidents America has ever

had… just as he knew he would be. 

There you have it! This is the formula for ultimate success!

These are four stepsto get anything that you want in your life.

Just know what you want specifically, develop a strategy, take

action, get feedbackand change your strategy until you succeed. 

But wait! If achieving success is so easy, why doesn’t

everybody do this? I could teach this formula to a hundred

people, but not everyone will end up putting it into practice.

Why? I have found that there are two more major elements that

affect whether or not people will follow this formula. These are

our Beliefs and our Values.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 32

Step 5. An Empowering Belief System

Our beliefs act as the ‘on’ and ‘off’ switch to our brain and our

inner resources. Without the right beliefs in place, none of the

other steps in the success formula matter. 

Our beliefs determine what we want and what we do when

we don’t get what we want. If you have limiting beliefs like, ‘It’s

too difficult’, ‘I’m too young’, ‘It’s not possible’ or ‘I am not a

good speaker’, it is highly unlikely that you will set inspiring

goals in the first place. If you don’t have empowering beliefs, you

will not set goals for yourself. And nobody can set goals for you

either.

Similarly, limiting beliefs about yourself and the situation

will make you ‘give up’ rather than change your strategy and

take action until you succeed. 

If you believe that you don’t have what it takes to learn, the

capability or that ‘it is too difficult’, then you are more likely to

quit than change your strategy and take action until you

succeed. So an empowering set of beliefs is truly one of the keys

you need to seal in, to set the rest of the formula in motion. 

Chapter 5 teaches you how to analyze your current set of beliefs

and discover if they have been empowering you or limiting you.

You will also learn how to develop a powerful belief system that

will drive you forward.

Step 6. Values: Our Driving Force

The second key that drives the Ultimate Success Formula is our

values or what we hold dear to us, and live by. Values are like

emotional hot buttons that drive our behavior. They are what

we value as important in our lives. 

All of us regard values like ‘success’, ‘freedom’, ‘security’,

‘love’ and ‘happiness’ very differently. And it is the way we

internally rank these values that determine the kinds of choices

we make, and the actions we take. 

Some people are driven towards reaching their goals because

of their need to feel secure. Others may be driven by a different

value, like freedom. ‘I want to earn enough to be free’ (free from

want, free to walk out of a boring job) is an often-heard goal. 

The important thing is that whatever our values are, they

33 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

must be aligned with our goals. The main reason why most

people never feel driven towards their goals is because their

values are not aligned and their values may even be in conflict

with their goals. 

I once had a student (a young mother) who could never feel consistently

motivated towards her goals of achieving her sales targets. It was later 

that it dawned on her that her goals and values were in direct conflict. 

She valued ‘family’ but as a professional, she also valued ‘success’. This

internal conflict drained a lot of her energy, and held her back. She wanted

to achieve her career goals but she felt guilty whenever the pursuit of her 

goal prevented her from spending time with her family.

We will focus on the power of values in chapter 10 and how to

align them for maximum impact. 

The Ultimate Success Formula… in Action

The Ultimate Success Formula is the most powerful series of

steps you can ever use to achieve whatever you want.

Individuals and corporations who follow this formula create

consistent success. Those that fail continuously are those that

fail to follow any one of the six major steps.

Goal

Strategy

Beliefs Values

Action

Success

Failure

Feedback

Change

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 34

How Singapore’s ‘Bill Gates’ 

Used the Ultimate Success Formula

H

ave you heard of Creative Technologies? It is a billion dollar

company and the first Singapore company to be listed on NASDAQ.

The founder, Sim Wong Hoo, is one of the wealthiest men in this

country and is often referred to as Singapore’s ‘Bill Gates’. Did he use the

Ultimate Success Formula to create his success and wealth? You bet he did.

Like many successful entrepreneurs, Sim Wong Hoo comes from a very

poor family with many of life’s odds stacked against him. He was an

average student and graduated from a local polytechnic at the age of 19.

For most people with a Polytechnic diploma, making a living on $1500 a

month would have made them pretty satisfied. Not Sim. What made Sim

different was that he had a different set of beliefs and values. 

He believed that he was not just one of the crowd, he fervently believed

that he was capable of a whole lot more. Coupled with his strong internal

values of family, success and contribution, he set himself a specific

outcome to build the world’s first computer that could talk, sing and play

music (besides just crunching numbers). He set this goal at the age of 17,

while still a student! In fact, a few years before (at the age of about 15), 

he already set a goal of selling 100 million units of a ‘new technology’ 

that would revolutionize the world. 

It was this pre-determined goal that got him to start developing all kinds

of strategies that no one else ever thought of. In 1981, he took massive

action and founded Creative Technologies with $6,000. A few years later,

he launched his brainchild, the Cubic CT, which was the world’s first

multimedia PC. Did he succeed? No! It was a complete failure and as a

result, the company lost a lot of money. Instead of seeing it as ‘failure’, 

he took it as feedback that the market was just not ready for his product.

It was just too complex and costly. He had the technological flexibility to

develop another strategy, a new innovation. Again, he didn’t get the 

result he wanted. 

Once again, Sim used the feedback to change his strategy and take 

action again. He kept changing his strategy over and over again until he

came out with the idea of a developing a low cost music card he called 

the ‘Sound Blaster’. When the Sound Blaster was launched, it became an

overnight success. It became a best-selling PC card and the worldwide

industry’s standard for multimedia PCs. Today, more than 60% of all

multimedia PCs are based on Creative’s Sound Blaster Technology. In

1992, Creative Technologies became the first Singapore company to be

listed on NASDAQ, boosting Sim’s net worth to the billion-dollar league.

Today, Creative Technologies is a multimedia giant with 5,000 employees,

over 20,000 outlets in the United States and boasts an annual revenue 

of $1.3 billion. 

35 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

We tend to focus on how smart and fortunate winners are to

be in the right place and at the right time. We often admire

them like super human beings when they are really ordinary

people. What made them different was how they stuck

tenaciously, like superglue, to the Ultimate Success Formula.

Patterns of Excellence Program… 

From Flop to Success

Our company (AKLTG)’s Patterns of Excellence program came

about as a result of following the Ultimate Success Formula.

When Stuart and I first came up with the idea of creating the

program, we did it because we had strong beliefs and values that

supported it. We set a specific outcome and that was, we would

run our first program with fifty people in November 2002. We

then developed an entire strategy of how we would market and

run the program. 

The idea was to use newspaper advertisements to draw

people to a series of free previews. We would then give an

introductory presentation which would convince people to sign

up for this irresistible eight-day program – for $2,000. 

Once the strategy was laid out, we went ahead and took

massive action. We placed the ad, booked the seminar room and

waited for the response. Over a hundred people turned up for the

first free preview. Stuart and I got up on stage and gave the best,

the most dynamic presentation of our lives. 

When the show was over, we expected at least fifteen to

twenty people to sign up. Guess what happened? Almost

everybody got off their chairs and walked straight out the room.

Only one person signed up! We were far from our outcome of

fifty people! Talk about not achieving your goal. 

At this point, most people would probably just resign

themselves to believing that it was a lousy idea, and quit.

(Remember pattern 1?) Or they may try it out one or two more

times, get the same lousy results, and decide to cut their losses

and quit (pattern 2).

What happened was this: several of my staff and friends who

had seen the flop came up and offered all kind of reasons for it

not working. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 36

One said that it was the bad economy and that nobody

would pay $2000 for a training program at this time. Another

staff suggested that it was because I looked too young to be a

credible trainer. Yet another person blamed it on the room being

too cramped and hot. 

Notice the common pattern of excuses and laying blame on

something or other that most people fall into?

I could have chosen to accept all these as valid reasons for

not getting our outcome, but I realized that as long as I kept

looking and making excuses I had no control over, it would not

be useful. 

So using the third pattern in the Ultimate Success Formula,

Stuart and I went back and reflected on what went wrong with

our strategy. 

Why didn’t people sign up? We started getting more

feedback by asking people who attended why they did not sign

up. The feedback was that ‘They did not feel any urgency to sign

up’, ‘They feared the program may not work for them, after a

$2,000 commitment’ and some ‘Felt that they did not have the

time to devote eight weekends in a row.’ 

Based on the feedback, we used our flexibility to make some

major changes to our sequence of presentation, the structure of

the program, the way we handled objections and the way we

made the closing pitch. 

We structured the 8-day program into three separate

modules, offered a 100% money-back guarantee and offered a

‘tonight only’ discount. The following week, we held another

preview for another 100 people. Guess what? Over 13 people

signed up! It was good but still not good enough. 

Back we went again, got more feedback and improved our

strategy. We asked, ‘What could we do differently so more

people would sign up?’, ‘How could we make attending the

program a necessity for people who wanted to achieve greater

success?’ 

The following week, we held another preview and 16 people

signed up on the spot. After refining our strategy yet again, we

had a record 22 people sign up on the spot after the preview.

Within three weeks, all 50 places were taken up for the first

Patterns of Excellence training. We had achieved our goal. 

37 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

We then set a higher goal of hitting 80 per session within a

year. By the 7th batch of the program (eight months later), we

had an average of almost 80 people per session, growing to 100! 

Again, I hear people say that I am really talented and

fortunate to keep developing such popular programs. They think

of me as some kind of a ‘genius’ who turns everything I touch

into gold. What they constantly fail to realize is that it all began

with a clear outcome and the constant use of the Ultimate

Success Formula to achieve it. Anybody who follows this recipe

consistently can achieve the same results – in their field.

Be Flexible – and You Will Control the Environment

You Are In

Does this formula apply in the area of personal relationships and

even parenting? You bet! Remember that one of the keys to the

Ultimate Success Formula is ‘flexibility’. Flexibility is the ability

to constantly change our strategy and do whatever it takes

(within ethical bounds, of course), to get the result we want.

Unfortunately, most people try two or three things and give up,

saying that ‘They have tried everything!’ 

When mum threw a bigger tantrum than her daughter!

There was once a parent who told me that she did not know how to

control her daughter’s tantrums. (Yes, in the early 1990s I was student,

trainer and counselor, among other things) Every time the child didn’t

get what she wanted, like a new toy, she would scream and yell until

mum gave in and let her have her way. 

‘I have tried everything, but nothing seems to work. I don’t know what

to do anymore’ I responded, ‘you have tried everything?’ ‘Yes!

Everything! Nothing can get her to stop her tantrums.’ ‘Well, how many

things have you tried exactly?’

After thinking for a long time, the mother said she had used only two

approaches. She was either very firm with her daughter or talked to her

very nicely, neither of which seemed to work.

Often people like this parent, lack flexibility of approach which is why

they end up stuck and helpless. I told her that she had to change her

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 38

communication strategy until she got her outcome, which was getting

her child to stop the tantrum pattern.

‘Well, what else can I do?’ She asked. 

‘Next time she demands a new toy, throw a bigger tantrum before she

throws one!’ I said. 

‘Are you serious?’ she asked wide-eyed. 

‘Yes! Be flexible! Use this approach and see what happens!’ 

So, the very next time her daughter started to nag for a toy, her mum

suddenly burst into a rage – she screamed, cried out, banged her legs

and hands on the floor in the middle of the shop, in front of the

customers, (exactly the way her daughter behaved).

‘Stop asking me to buy you toys!’ ‘Why must you always get new toys?’

Guess what? The little girl was shocked into silence. 

The mother repeated this strategy each time her little girl started her

whining until the daughter, fearful of her mum going berserk again,

simply stopped making any more demands. 

So, you see, with the right amount of flexibility, you can

accomplish just about anything. 

In fact, in any situation it is often the person with the most

flexibility of behaviour who will end up in control. This is why

kids tend to end up controlling their parents instead of the other

way around. As adults, we tend to be a lot less flexible and a lot

more predictable. Children, on the other hand, tend to be

flexible in their approaches and will do whatever it takes to get

what they want. The moment we become even more flexible

than our children, we start taking back control over the

situation and hence the outcome.

So, how can you use the Ultimate Success Formula to

achieve all that you desire in the different areas of your life? In

your career? In your relationships? In your finances? In your

health? We will show you how in each subsequent chapter as we

focus on each component of the formula. 

39 THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA

Chapter Assignment

Ready for your chapter assignment? Good. Go grab your pen and

work on it right now. 

Were there instances when you achieved your outcome by getting

feedback and changing your strategy? Write down at least three of

these instances.

In what specific areas of your life can you begin putting into practice

the Ultimate Success Formula to help you get what you want?

1

2

3

Chapter Summary

1 The Ultimate Success Formula

2 There are three ways people deal with failure

a Give excuses, blame others and give up

b Keep trying the same thing over & over again 

Get frustrated and quit eventually

c Get feedback, use it to change their strategy 

and take action again. Repeat this process until 

they get what they want

3 Flexibility is the ability to constantly change 

our strategy and do whatever it takes to get the

results we want

Goal

Strategy

Beliefs Values

Action

Success

Failure

Feedback

Change

HOW TO ACHIEVE

ANYTHING YOU WANT

3

No man will change for the better until he sees the need for it 

– Socrates

N

ow, we have said that people who succeed are those

who perceive failure as feedback. They then use this

feedback to change their strategy and take action once

again. They keep repeating this process over and over again

until they get what they want.

So, why is it that so few people are willing to keep changing

and taking action until they get what they want? Why do so

many people quit along the way? Worse still, why do some

people even procrastinate in initiating action? The reason is

that while everybody desires to succeed, only a few are truly

COMMITTED to their goals.

For most people, having more money, more freedom, more

security and more success is a desire. They think it would really

be great to have it. But they can live without it, if they had to.

As a result, they never take action as something more

important always comes up to fill up their time. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 42

When a goal is nothing more than a feeble desire or a wish,

you will find yourself being held back by setbacks, frustration

and failures. People whose goals are nothing more than desires

will only do whatever is within their comfort zone to achieve it.

Beyond that, they will give themselves all kinds of excuses for

not doing it. As a result, they will never do whatever it takes to

get what they want.

5% of people are 95% of people

COMMITTED to succeed WISH, WANT, HOPE, LIKE to succeed 

They make it a MUST Act within their comfort zone

Do whatever it takes Give lots of excuses

There was once a financial advisor who approached me for

advice. He had been in the business for five years and had

attended many seminars and read many books on sales and

success. Right from the start, he had set goals to achieve the

Million Dollar Round Table (MDRT), which represents the top

6% of advisors in the world. However, he couldn’t understand

why he could never get close to the mark, despite working ‘so

hard’. He asked me what he needed to do to get there. I sat him

down and gave him a whole list of action steps and strategies he

had to put in place to increase his sales. 

I told him that he needed to make 20 cold calls a day, attend

two networking functions a week, invest in impressive looking

brochures, spend his nights targeting night shift workers (who

are a big untapped segment), spend his weekends presenting

seminars and organizing road-shows with side walk surveys. He

was also told to upgrade his product knowledge skills every

month. 

As I went along, I could tell that doing all these things were

going to stretch him well beyond his comfort zone. He was not

prepared to give up his weekends; he was not prepared to spend

some late nights prospecting nor was he willing to invest money

in brochures and upgrade his skills. 

He started coming out with excuses like ‘I don’t have the

time’, ‘I don’t have the money’, ‘ I don’t like reading’, ‘I’ve never

done it before’, ‘It’s too much work’ and so on. 

As we parted, I doubted that he would use even one of the

techniques I suggested, even though he knew that it was a

43 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

proven formula with many others I had worked with. This man

is typical of those who set goals but are not prepared to do

whatever it takes. 

When a Goal Becomes a MUST… We Operate from a

Different Mind-Set

People who achieve their goals are those who are truly

committed to get what they want. To them, their goals are not a

mere wish or a weak desire. They are an absolute must. 

When a goal becomes a must, we operate from a very

different frame of mind. When something becomes an absolute

must, we will do whatever it takes to get it (within ethical, legal

and moral boundaries, of course). 

When something becomes a must, we will stretch well

beyond our comfort zone and keep changing our strategy as

many times as it takes to succeed. 

Time and again, you will notice that people who succeed are

those who show this level of commitment. In fact, I believe that

failure, setbacks and frustrations are life’s ways of testing our

level of commitment. Most people fail this test by quitting when

they hit major obstacles. The few who succeed do so because

they do whatever it takes to overcome obstacles. I truly believe

that when something becomes a must for you, and you are

willing to do whatever it takes, you will always find a way!

‘You will never achieve anything in your life… 

unless you make it a Must’ – Adam Khoo

When We Give Ourselves No Option 

but to Succeed, We Will Always Find a Way!

It is truly amazing what we are capable of achieving if our life

depended upon it. Have you ever set a goal to lose weight

through constant exercise and dieting? Most people get excited

and motivated for a couple of days or even a couple of weeks but

pretty soon they give up and fail to get any results. ‘I just don’t

have the discipline!’ many people would say. 

Let me ask you. If someone were to put a gun to the head of

a loved one and threatened to kill that person unless you lost

10kg in a reasonable period of time, do you think you will be

able to achieve it? I am sure you will. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 44

We all have the resources and capabilities to achieve any goal,

it is just that we lack a compelling reason… a MUST to do it.

When something becomes a MUST, it taps into our unlimited

personal resources and this enables us to achieve virtually anything!

Take Your Cue from a Chinese General

There is a famous Chinese military story about a general who led an army 

of his men into enemy territory with the mission to kill the invading army.

Unfortunately, his army was outnumbered four to one. On reaching the shores

of the enemy, the general ordered his men to burn all the boats they arrived 

in. When asked why, he replied, ‘So the only way we will ever leave this island

is in victory’. By cutting off all possibilities of retreat, he put his men in a

situation where they had to do whatever it took to battle the enemy. Retreat

was not an option. His men fought as if their lives depended upon it and won!

Serene Khoo – Cancer Terminator! 

S

erene Khoo, a Singapore wife and mother faced a personal battle 

no less tougher than what the Chinese soldiers faced. She was

diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2000. At about the same 

time, her husband was told that he had to have a heart operation to save

his life. “I knew that we both couldn’t go to hospital at the same time

because of our two young children.” So she made the decision that her

husband would have his operation while she would research natural

healing for her cure. In her mind, there was no other option. 

Serene remembered a booklet she had been given back in 1998. The 

title: ‘Cancer Is Not A Terminal Disease’. Taking her life literally into her

own hands, Serene’s first big ‘change’ was to ‘totally revamp my diet. 

Next came a daily routine of exercising on the beach, coupled with a

healthy dose of sunlight, meditating and early to bed every night.’ 

Then, inspired by a meeting with a Mdm Chan who had been cured of 

her cancer after participating in American healer Ray Kent’s fasting 

camp in Malaysia, Serene decided that her next step would be to join

Kent’s 5-day fasting camp… to ‘detoxify my contaminated body’. 

Her husband’s operation was a success… and so was her own quest for

self-healing. Today a vibrant Serene calls herself Cancer Terminator on 

her calling card and imports, sells and promotes organic whole and fresh

foods (her own new cancer-fighting diet) And because Serene did not

undergo invasive surgery or toxic, debilitating chemo-radiation, she 

never lost her breasts or her hair. Instead she’s brimming with energy 

for her whole new way of life. Besides being active in her local Toast

Masters’ club, Serene performs in amateur local opera. And of course

she’s whole again for her family.

45 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

‘Dopey’ Sylvester Stallone 

– Made his Dream of Stardom a Must

S

urely one of the best examples of the power of

commitment and how ‘doing whatever it takes will get you

what you want’ is the story of Sylvester Stallone.

At his peak, Stallone was one of the most popular and highly

paid stars in Hollywood, commanding a fee of US$20 million

per movie. Was he just born under a lucky star? Was he a

naturally talented actor? Was he at the right place at the right

time? Hardly. He was someone who seemed to have all the odds

stacked up against him. 

His family was so poor that his mother had to give birth to

him on the doorsteps of a school. A blotched delivery by

students caused a facial nerve to be severed, leaving him

paralyzed on the right side of his face. As a result, Stallone had

to live the rest of his life with slurred speech. He even had to

deal with having a drooping lower lip and being made fun of

because of his name ‘Sylvester’ (associated with the Looney

Tunes cat). Despite all these limitations, young Stallone

dreamed of becoming an actor and inspiring millions of people

through his movies. 

As you know many young people go through a phase of

wanting to be an actor, a star… the difference between

Stallone and the rest of youthful dreamers was that his

dream was not a merely wishful thinking. To Stallone, it

was an absolute must. He was truly committed to doing

whatever it took to make it happen. 

First he enrolled in acting school and then started going for

auditions. Predictably, with his wooden acting, his dopey looks

and his slurred speech, Stallone was rejected for every part he

applied for. But he never gave up. Doggedly he just kept

changing his strategy and taking action. 

The way he landed his first part is a fine example of how he

was willing to do whatever it took. When he was rejected after

yet another audition, he pulled up a chair in front of the

manager’s office and sat down, refusing to leave unless they gave

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 46

him a chance. After sitting there for hours, they were so moved

by how much he wanted a chance that they relented and gave

him a part. Although he appeared for a couple of minutes (as an

extra), it gave him that first breakthrough he was after. 

Unfortunately, that experience was followed by yet another

string of unsuccessful attempts at getting another acting job. At

that point, his wife told him to give up his ‘stupid dream’ and get

a real job. His reply was, ‘If I get another job, I would lose the

only thing I have got going for me… my hunger.’ ‘By quitting

(my quest) and getting a job, I would be selling out on my

dream’.

Stallone eventually wound up so broke and desperate that

he was forced to sell his dog for $50 in order to survive. 

It was the saddest moment in his life because his dog was

the one friend he had got left. 

At the lowest point in his life, he watched a boxing match

between then world heavyweight champion Muhammed Ali

and Chuck Wepner, an underdog that everyone thought would

be defeated within three rounds. What no one expected was

Wepners’ determination and tenacity. He lasted the total of

fifteen rounds with Ali, just refusing to go down. 

Sly was so inspired by what he saw that he had visions in his

head about a movie that he was going to write. He started

writing profusely for 84 hours non-stop until he finished the

manuscript for ‘Rocky’. He was so excited by the script because

in his mind he knew that this was going to be the movie that

would change his life and his fortune. 

But when he went round attempting to sell his script,

everyone felt that it was too predictable and that nobody would

be interested in watching a movie about boxing. But he didn’t

give up. He kept on going and going until one company made

him an offer of US$75,000 for the script and the rights to make

the movie. This should have made Sly overjoyed but his dream

was to be an actor and not a writer. 

So, he told them that the condition of sale was that he be

cast as the lead actor. They objected saying, ‘You’re a writer!

47 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

you’re not an actor!’. ‘There is no way we will let you act!’ But

Sly stood his ground and refused to sell the script if he wasn’t the

lead actor. They then increased their offer to US$255,000 up to

US$1 million, but Sly kept insisting that he fitted the role of

‘Rocky’, and no one else. Although he was broke and hungry, he

refused to sell out his dream for a six-figure pay check. That was

his level of commitment!

Eventually, they reluctantly agreed, on the condition that

the movie be made on a shoe string budget of less than a million

dollars and Stallone would get only US$35,000 for the writing,

and acting. Sly would however, get a percentage of the profits, if

the movie made money. He agreed immediately. 

The first thing Sly did when he got his money was to go in

search of the man who bought his dog to buy it back. When he

finally tracked down the man, he offered to buy his dog back for

US$100. The man declined his offer saying that he was not

interested. Sly upped his offer to US$500. Still the man refused.

Sly again upped his offer, this time to US$1000. The man still

would not budge saying, ‘No amount of money will ever

convince me to sell this dog.’ 

While most of us would give up at this point, Sly knew that

if he was committed to do whatever it takes, he would find a

way. Eventually, he did get his dog back. He paid the man a

whopping US$15,000 and also gave him a part in the movie as

part of the deal. 

When Rocky was launched at the box office, it grossed over

US$171 million and was nominated for ten academy awards

(including best actor), eventually winning an Oscar for Best

Picture & Best Director. Sylvester instantly shot to fame as an

action star and lucrative offers came in for future blockbusters,

which were to eventuate in First Blood, Rambo and the Rocky

sequels. His eventual success came from the fact that to him,

becoming an actor was truly a must. He believed that when you

are committed enough, there is always a way!

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 48

Is Your Wish a ‘Must’ or a ‘Should’?

For most people, achieving success in anything is rarely a must.

They would like to lose weight, but it is not a must. They would

love to make more money, but they won’t die without it. They

wish they could take charge of their lives, but they could live

without it. 

The moment something becomes a ‘should’ instead of a

‘must’, you will rarely achieve it. You will always find a way to

put it off or to quit the moment you meet resistance. 

People like Sylvester Stallone, Steven Spielberg or Donald

Trump who achieve success are not born more focused, more

disciplined or more lucky than the average person. What makes

them different is that they make their goals a must for themselves.

They are not willing to accept anything less than the best.

So let me ask you a question. 

Are your dreams and goals an absolute must or are they just

weak desires that you can live without? Have you been truly

committed to do whatever it takes in the past or have you quit

and given yourself excuses along the way? 

Anything You Ever Achieved in the Past, 

Was a Must. 

If you have achieved nothing of ‘worth’ up till now, then nothing

has ever been a ‘must’ in your life.

Have you ever put off doing certain important things in your

life? I’m sure you have. However, have there been things you

have put off that you eventually got round to doing? Like

writing a report, filing your tax returns or signing up for an

exercise program. But one day, you finally finished that report,

filed your tax returns, and began that exercise program. 

I want you to write down four goals or tasks that you kept putting off,

but eventually achieved.

1

2

3

4 

49 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

Well, what made you get them done eventually? Was it because

things got to the stage where it became a ‘must’ for you? You had

to get that report done or risk losing a contract and being fired,

you had to file your tax returns or risk being fined and sent to

jail. You had to lose weight or risk a heart attack. 

Think about it, all the times in your past when you finally

managed to do something really tough that you were proud of,

was it a must for you at the time? I’m sure it was.

Unfortunately, we end up doing only what is necessary to

survive and live a mundane life. Since living an exceptional life

is not a must, we never take enough action to do it. 

Now, think of all the things you always wanted to do and

achieve but never managed to. Think of all the desires and

dreams that you’ve put off to a point that you have given up on

them. 

Be honest with yourself. Was it a must for you to have

achieved, or something that would have been ‘nice’ to have?

Was it achieving an ideal weight? Starting your own business?

Achieving a career performance target? Learning a foreign

language? Working in a foreign country? Aiming for an MBA? 

Write down four goals or tasks you have consistently put off until now.

1

2

3

4 

It should be very obvious that the reason you have not taken

action and done whatever it took was because these goals never

became a must for you. They were never a necessity that moved

all the way up your list of priorities to kick you into action.

The only way we will ever achieve our dreams and live an

exceptional quality of life is when we raise our ‘level of

acceptance’.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 50

It is Not What We Expect, But What We 

are Willing to Acceptin Life That Matters 

All of us have got dreams we aspire to attain in our lives. These

dreams come from people who inspire us. We may dream of

making $20,000 a month, owning a luxury car and living in a

million dollar mansion. At the same time, based on our beliefs,

we also have what I call a ‘Level of Acceptance’.

This ‘Level of Acceptance’ means that though you may

aspire to earn $20,000 a month, you are willing to accept

earning $3000 a month. Although you would love to live in a

million dollar house, you are quite willing to settle for a small

apartment. Although you would love to be at an ideal weight of

65kg, you are willing to live life at 75kg. 

Our self-image is what determines our level of expectation

and level of acceptance in life. 

Would you like to make a guess which level we would tend

most to gravitate towards? That’s right. We always get what we

are willing to accept. 

You may set a goal to earn $20,000 but if you are willing to

accept earning $3000, then $3000 is what you are going to end

up getting. Why? Because the $3000 level of acceptance is what

we make a ‘must’ for ourselves. 

We will not allow ourselves to earn below that level of what we

believe is our minimum. This is our tolerance level. The moment

we think we are going to go below our acceptance level, our

Level of Expectation

i.e. $20,000

Level of Acceptance

i.e. $3,000

Gravitate

WISH

MUST

51 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

mind hits panic mode and we will do whatever it takes to get

above that. Again, when we are committed to do whatever it

takes, we will get it.

People who make $20,000 a month do so because to them,

that is their level of acceptance. That is what they believe they

are worth. They will not accept anything less. They will never

accept $5000 or even $10,000 a month. They will do whatever

it takes to get the level they believe they deserve.

Donald Trump, the billionaire real estate mogul, cannot

accept being second to anyone. It is this ‘I must be number one’

that drives him to be the best, or at least the flashiest, the best-known in his field. 

Jack Welch, the legendary CEO of General Electric (GE)

would not accept any of the companies under his charge to be

less than number one in their markets. This is why all three

hundred companies under GE have been market leaders for years.

Tiger Woodshas very often been heard to say, ‘Why go in to

play a tournament unless you are going to win?’ This is why he

has achieved the most number of wins in a season and is ranked

the world number one.

You Must Raise Your Acceptance Levels

Unless we raise our acceptance levels, we will never do what is

necessary to achieve our goals. So, for example if you want to

make more money, you have to raise your standards of what you

are willing to accept. 

Now, consider what influences our level of acceptance? Why

is one person willing to accept a lifestyle based on $3000 a

month while another has set an acceptance level triple that

amount? 

Well, the standards we have come generally from our family,

friends and our environment. The people whom we spend most

of our time with define the standards we measure ourselves

against.

In fact, research has shown that people normally earn 10%

more or less of the 10 people they mix around most with.

I decided very early in life to be an exception… because I

wanted an exceptional life!

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 52

While most of my peers in the national university set their

minimum standards at $2,000 a month (that is what most fresh

graduates earn), I saw it as a must for myself to earn at least $10,000. 

To me, it was a ‘must’ because, based on my material

aspirations at the time, $10,000 a month was what I believed to

be the minimum I needed to afford a sports car and an

apartment, with enough left over to invest for the future.

My high standards drove me to think and operate out of ‘the

box’. I knew I could not, on graduation, go the conventional

route of sending out resumes and applying for a job like

everybody else. 

Why? Because who the hell will pay a kid fresh out of college

$10,000 a month! All through my junior college and undergrad

years I kept upgrading my skills through seminars, local and

overseas (which I funded myself), and books. I started several

businesses while still studying full-time to create the level of

value necessary for me to command that level of income. Pretty

soon, I was making the money which I demanded from myself!

I should add that by the time I was halfway through

university, I no longer needed my parents to finance my studies.

Are You Stuck in ‘No Man’s Land’?

I had a friend J who worked for an MNC and who earned a

pretty decent wage in a job most would envy. But, whenever we

met, he would always grumble about how fed up he was working

for someone else and how much he wanted to get out and live

his dreams. 

‘I wish I had your freedom’ ‘I wish I could earn the money

you earn’. ‘Then do it! Take action!’ I encouraged him. His usual

response would be, ‘yeah, soon’ ‘when my kids get older’. But he

would do absolutely nothing about it and, whenever we met, he

would start grumbling again.

J is so typical of many people. They are not happy where they

are because they are performing way below their expectations

and their potential. And yet, it is not painful enough for them

to must do something about it. They are stuck between their

level of expectation and acceptance. As a result, they stay there

for the rest of their lives, feeling miserable. 

53 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

Get ‘Dissatisfied’ and ‘Inspired’

In order for you to increase the quality of your results, setting

goals is not enough. Goals give us a direction to aim for but in

themselves they are not enough of a ‘must’ for us to reach the

finish line. 

You have to raise your standards of what you are willing to

accept. And the way to raise your standards is to get ‘dissatisfied’

and ‘inspired’. I have found that the best way to get dissatisfied

is to read about or mix around with people who are a lot better

than you. People who have a lot higher standards than yourself. 

When I made my first million at 26 (four years ago) and

continued to make $500,000 annually, I started becoming

satisfied. This was because I was comparing myself to my peers,

who were years behind me. 

What I did not realize was that I had started to become

complacent and stopped growing. I didn’t feel challenged

anymore, I felt like I had lost my drive. 

To challenge myself, I started setting higher goals. I felt

motivated to take action initially, but pretty soon I did not

have the drive to achieve these higher goals I set. I set goals 

to write new books, create new businesses but found myself

procrastinating and eventually giving up. That’s when I realized

that I was willing to accept where I was. I could live with what

I had because I was way ahead of everyone else my age. I felt

satisfied and that was what was keeping me from achieving more.

Suddenly, I Felt Like a Small Fry on the Floor…! 

Then I was invited to join the Young Entrepreneurs Organization

(YEO). It is a global organization that extends membership to

business owners who make over a million dollars in business

annually and are below 40. 

Although I was the youngest YEO member and most others

members were nearly 10 years my senior, I suddenly did not feel

so satisfied anymore. 

I had thought I was successful and wealthy… until I met

many members who had businesses 10 times the size of mine and

who had achieved so much more. They were making $10-20 million

dollars through selling shares in their publicly listed companies. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 54

Suddenly, I felt like a small fry on the floor compared to

these people. And while I was inspired by them, being with

these top still-young entrepreneurs made me totally dissatisfied. 

That was a defining moment. In that instant of discontent, I

raised my standards. I raised what I was willing to accept to new

heights. 

Overnight I made it a must for me to expand my business

and increase my profits significantly; to put plans in place to go

global and to take my company public. After all, if these YEOs

had done it, then so could I. 

As soon as I raised my acceptance level, my drive kicked in

and so did my personal sales and profits.

What is Your Level of Expectation and Acceptance?

Be very honest with yourself, what is your current level of

expectation and level of acceptance in the different areas of your

life? Invest the time to reflect and to write down your thoughts.

The exercises that follow are designed to help you raise your

personal standards so that your success becomes your absolute

priority.

1 Level of Expectation (Your Dreams & Goals)

Income level: What is your desired income?

Lifestyle: What lifestyle would you love to have? Describe it.

Health: What level of health do you want to be at? 

What is your ideal weight?

55 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

Career: What do you wish to achieve in your career & business?

Relationships: What kind of relationship do you want to have 

with friends & family?

2 Level of Acceptance: (What are you honestly willing to settle for?)

Income level: How much money have you been willing to settle for?

Lifestyle: What kind of lifestyle have you been comfortable with?

Health & Wellbeing: What level of fitness, weight and general health have

you been willing to live with?

Career: What have you been willing to settle for in your career & business?

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 56

Relationships: What kind & quality of relationships have you been willing 

to accept?

Reflection: Is there a big difference between what you expect in your

life and what you are willing to truly accept? As you think about it, do

you begin to realize that the level at which you are living your life is the

result of the level of acceptance you have been setting for yourself?

Our Social Environment Defines Our Standards

In a previous section, we said that the beliefs we have about

what is acceptable for us come from the people we mix around

with. They tend to define our standards. Let’s see how true this

is. I want you to list the five people you spend most of your time

with. Next, list their estimated level of income.

Person Estimated Income

1

2 

3

4

5

Do their income levels correspond closely to yours? The

same probably holds true for some of the other areas of your life;

like your career, lifestyle, health, relationships and so on.

Now, I am not suggesting you dump the friends who have

been there for you and whom you treasure. What I am suggesting

is that if we are to break out of our comfort zones and raise our

acceptance levels, we need to invest time with people who will

push us up and forward. Friends who will raise our standards,

people who will inspire us and get us dissatisfied with mediocrity.

57 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

Think about this.If you are a tennis player and keep playing

with people who are no better than you, would you improve?

Hardly. What if you started playing with people who are top at

the game? Sure, you may get yourself whipped many times, but

it will change your standard of play altogether. In just a few

months of constant play with the best players around and you

will be playing at a whole new level. The same holds true for

every other area of your life. You need to start investing time and

playing with the best on the field. That is how you will grow.

Raise Your Standards & Acceptance Levels

Are you ready to finally raise your standards? I want you to take

the time and write down the new standards you are going to set

for yourself. 

What are you going to make a must? 

Who are three people you are committed to spend time with

who will inspire you and make you dissatisfied with where you

are now?

1 Income level: How much money are you willing to settle for?

Name 3 people you will invest time with.

2 Lifestyle: What kind of lifestyle are you going to aim for? 

(It does not necessarily have to be a flashy lifestyle. There are people 

who actually aim for a simple, yet financially independant one). 

Name 3 people you will invest time with. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY

3 Health: What is your desired weight? What level of health must you be at?

4 Career: What must you achieve in your career & business?

5 Relationships: What kind and quality of relationships must you have?

Put Yourself On the Line!

Now that you have listed down your new standards, here is a

strategy to use to ensure you will achieve it. The secret is to put

yourself on the line! In other words, put yourself in a situation

where you have absolutely no choice but to achieve it. 

When our brain is given a choice to do something or to put

it off, we will always gravitate towards the easier path. But when

we have no choice but to do something, we will always find 

a way! 

Many successful individuals created the results they did

because they simply had no choice. They put everything they

had on the line.

58

59 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

At age 44, Leo Burnettstarted one of today’s largest advertising

companies in the world. He started his business in the middle of the

1935 depression. He borrowed against his life insurance policy,

mortgaged his home and threw in every last dollar he had. Talk about

putting yourself on the line. He knew that he had no choice but to

make it work. This ‘must’ drove him to build his tiny advertising agency

into a worldwide business, grossing hundreds of millions in sales 

each year. 

When Richard Branson(in pre Virgin Airlines days) was caught selling

records meant for export in London, he was arrested and charged with

fraud. He was given a few months to pay a fine or risk being thrown 

in jail. Being almost broke, he knew that the only way he could make

enough money to stay out of jail was to rapidly expand his business;

which he did by opening more record stores. It turned out that 

the need to keep himself out of jail was the urgent motivating force 

he needed to build the Virgin business at lightning speed! It was 

this commitment that led him to go on to build the Virgin empire,

which includes an airline company, and become one of Britain’s

wealthiest businessmen.

Start Putting Yourself On the Line Right Now!

So, how do you put yourself on the line? One way is to make a

public declaration of your goals. Better still, get other people

involved in the process of attaining your goals. Or make a small

financial commitment so that it will hurt not to do it, and your

brain will start taking you seriously.

When I tell people to do this, many chicken out and just do

not dare make this level of commitment. It is clear that if you

dare not commit yourself to it, then you were never serious about

your success in the first place. So, if you are really committed to

achieve something significant, put yourself on the line!

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 60

I Put Myself On the Line, Again and Again!

One of the reasons why I have the drive and motivation to

achieve so much is because I commit myself to people and put

myself on the line, constantly. 

When I decided to write my first book (‘I Am Gifted, So

Are You’), I knew that there was a good chance I would

procrastinate and give up halfway. So, even before I started

writing, I went to meet all the top publishers in town and told

them that I would deliver a manuscript to them in 6 months. 

I went round telling all my friends to look out for my books

in the bookstores in the coming months. The minute I committed

myselfpublicly, there was no way I could back out. My

reputation was on the line. It was an absolute must for me to

deliver! It was this must that drove me to complete my very first

book while still an undergraduate.

By the way, the only reason this book ever got written was

because I put myself on the line and made it an absolute must.

About a year ago, I set a goal to write a book on Mastering Your

Mind and Designing Your Destiny. I told myself that I would

finish writing the book within a year. As my schedule was

already very hectic, I told myself that whenever I had the time,

I would use it to write a chapter. Sure enough, I started putting

off writing as something more urgent always came up. 

After a year, I had only completed one chapter out of twelve!

Then, one of my partners came to me and told me, ‘Adam the

reason you have not achieved this goal is because it is not a must

for you!’ Unless you make it a Must, you will never achieve it! I

knew he was right and that I had to put myself on the line. I had

to use this formula. 

So I got my staff to print on all our program brochures that

this new book would be launched in the next 12 months. Sure

enough, I started to find the time to start writing and that is how

this book eventually came out.

So what can you do to put yourself on the line? For example,

if you wanted to lose weight but always made excuses for yourself

and put it off, what could you do to make it an absolute must?

You could give away all your dresses except one, and buy an

entire wardrobe three sizes smaller. You could make an

announcement to all your family members and friends. 

61 HOW TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU WANT

You could go out and immediately pay a 6-month advance

for a gym membership. The idea is to put yourself in a situation

where it would be more painful to quit than to stay the course

and finally achieve your goal.

So are you ready to start making some commitments? Are

you ready to get serious and start putting some power behind

your dreams?

If so, I want you to write down five goals or tasks that you

have been constantly putting off. Next to each goal, write down

at least 2 ways you are going to put yourself on the line so that

you must achieve it. Do it now!

Goals I Must Achieve I will Make it a Must by…

1

2

3

4

5

Use ‘Must’ Language

Just by listening to the words people use, you can tell how truly

committed they are to achieve a certain result. You can tell if

there is any power and conviction behind what they say. And

you can tell straight away the people who will eventually

succeed and those who won’t. 

For example, if someone says, ‘I would like to finish this

project by today’ and someone else says, ‘I must finish this

project by today.’ Who would you bet your money on? 

The words we use represent the way we frame the thoughts

in our mind. If you observe and pay attention to the most

charismatic and influential leaders like (the late) Martin Luther

King, Lee Kuan Yew, Bill Clinton, they consistently use the

word ‘must’ in their speeches rather than ‘should’ or ‘could’.

Similarly, the words we use on ourselves will impact how we

represent something in our minds. When we use certain words

like ‘should’, ‘would like’ or ‘wish’, we hardly get a sense of

conviction or urgency. These words do not compel us to take

immediate action. The next time you are putting off doing

something or feel like giving up halfway, pay attention to the

words that are firing off in your mind. I bet you it would be a ‘I

could…’ or a ‘I wish…’

I want you to begin noticing that every time you take action,

it is because the word ‘must’ is firing off in your mind. Like when

your assignment, report or quote is due tomorrow morning and

you have not done a thing and it’s already midnight. I bet the

word ‘Oh Sh…t!…I must do it now!’ is firing off in your mind. 

Or when you oversleep and say ‘Oh dear! I’m late! I must get

up!’ You see, words evoke different emotions within us. Instead

of allowing the ‘must’ to come when it is too late, you can

consciously begin controlling the words you use on yourself and

others to invoke a powerful response in their actions. So start

using ‘must’ and it will get you what you want.

One of the things that you must do in order to be ahead of

your game is to keep growing as a person. How do you achieve

massive growth in a short period of time… let’s find out in the

next chapter!

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 62

Chapter Summary

1 Most people’s goals are nothing but weak desires.

As a result, they will always find excuses to stay

within their comfort zone and put it off.

2 The only way we will achieve anything is if 

we are committed to making it a must. 

3 When we are committed to do whatever it takes, 

we will always find a way.

4 We all have a level of expectation & a level of

acceptance. We tend to gravitate towards our level

of acceptance.

5 We must raise our level of acceptance by mixing

around with people who are better than us, be it at

tennis, at parenting or in their career. They inspire

us and make us dissatisfied. 

6 You must put yourself on the line if you want to

achieve anything. Make a public declaration or put

yourself in a position where you have no choice but

to succeed.

7 The words you use affect your frame of mind and

the emotional states you experience. Using the

word ‘must’ fires off a greater sense of urgency 

& motivation.

THE KEY TO 

ABSOLUTE POWER

4

‘Everybody here has the ability to do absolutely anything I 

do and much more beyond. Some of you will and some of you

won’t. For the ones who won’t, it will be because you get in

your own way, not because the world doesn’t allow you’

– Warren Buffett, Berkshire Hathaway

H

ow would you like to be in control of your life and the

results you create? To be in a position of power: to

change whatever is not working in your life? To be able

to change the people around you, the results you produce and

even how you feel? 

Sounds too good to be true? Not at all. Yet most people

believe that power and control are limited to a fortunate few

who are either born into power, or acquire power through

exceptional talent, business acumen or lady luck. They believe

(and we’ll prove them wrong) that the rest of us are destined to

be buffeted by whatever winds of change swirl around us.

Economic slowdown, recession, company takeovers are the

common winds of change. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 66

So, the masses find themselves helpless and dependent on

outside circumstances in their life. 

They think, ‘It is only the boss who is in a position to decide

if my salary gets an increase this coming year’. ‘It is the policy of

the government on interest rates that will determine my

business’ sales’. Even those who own their business (who should

be in control) may actually believe their success is dependent

largely on the kind of staff they can get nowadays.

Heard this one before? ‘Sigh, if only I can get good and loyal

staff, my business will boom’.

Taking Absolute Responsibility Gives YOU 

Absolute Power

The truth is that you do not have to have money or be in a top

position to take control over what happens. In fact, people at the

helm can also lose control… with much bigger consequences.

Look at the CEOs who watch helplessly as their company profits

nose-dive in a bear market. Or the US Army Generals when

they invaded Iraq and found that instead of being welcomed as

liberators (as they had been led to believe), they were regarded as

invaders. Were they, the high and mighty in control? Not at all! 

So, big fish or small fry, everyone has the power to take

charge of, and change anything in their life, right now. 

The secret is to take absolute responsibility for whatever

happens. That’s right! When you take full responsibility for

whatever happens, it means you acknowledge the fact that you

have created whatever happens. 

If you created it, then you have the power to change it. So,

taking absolute responsibility for something puts you in a

position of absolute power. 

Motto: The extent to which you take responsibility over

something is the extent to which you have control over it.

For example, if you take responsibility for your low pay, it

means you acknowledge the fact that it is your actions and

decisions that have resulted in your low pay. It could be that you

are not creating enough value to be paid more, or you have not

demonstrated your true value to your boss, or that you chose to

work in a company which does not recognize your true value. 

67 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

Whatever issues you face you must take responsibility, you

have to put yourself on the road to doing something about it.

You can either find ways to create more value by going

beyond what is expected, make yourself more valuable by

upgrading your skills, ask for a pay raise or find another job that

will pay you what you are worth. 

When you start taking any of these actions, your situation

will change… you will get paid more!

Giving Excuses and Blaming Others Takes 

Power Away from You

However, the reality is that most people act in a way that puts

others in charge of their life. 

When something doesn’t work in their life, they choose to

give excuses, blame others and complain. The problem with this

is that by doing so, you are putting others in control of your life.

You put yourself in the role of a victim. 

If you blame the economy or your stupid boss for your low

pay or dead-end job, then you are allowing both factors to

control your life. As (you think) it is not your fault, you are

powerless to do anything about it. You can only hope that either

the economy improves or your boss changes.

This is the key reason why most people feel totally helpless,

with no control over what is happening to them. 

They keep telling themselves, ‘The recession is to blame for

my financial problems’. ‘Because of my stupid company and

colleagues, I feel miserable everyday’. ‘My children are so lazy,

they drive me up the wall.’ 

‘I have no time to for myself, everyone keeps on hounding

me.’ ‘The customers give me such a hard time, they are so

unreasonable’. ‘My husband makes me mad…’ And so on, and so on. 

‘Others must change or circumstances must change…

before things get better for me’… Now, is this really so?

People who believe themselves to be Victims say that the only

way for their life to change for the better is if other people get

better, and if the business or social environment improves.

‘If only I had more time’. ‘If only my husband could be more

understanding.’ ‘If only my boss would die!’ ‘If only my son could

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 68

be more motivated.’ ‘If only I could get better customers’ is the

litany of common excuses.

As long as you keep thinking that it is not your fault, and

that something else might change, you will continue to feel

helpless and powerless. By continuing to play the Victim, you

will be totally at the mercy of your environment. And, guess

what? 

Most of the time the outside world will not change… not

until you change first!

Yes, and when you start to change, it’s like taking blinkers

off.

Why Do So Many People Choose to be Victims?

So why do so many people choose to play the role of Victim? 

You read and hear about these people everyday. You read

about the poor guy who got retrenched after giving his best years

to his company. The wife who gets abused continuously by her

drunken husband, the poor businessman whose business became

a casualty of the recession. The poor couple who were swindled

out of their money. 

I don’t mean to be cold and heartless but as long as these

people convince themselves that they are the victims of

circumstance, then they will never be able to take charge, learn

from their experience, move on and change their lives for the

better.

Many of our friends fall into victim mode from time to time,

and I know that I have been guilty too. Yes, it’s so easy to lapse

into victim mode.

Do you have friends who keep on bitching about their

employer or colleague, spouse, society at large, or the government?

How about you? 

Have you ever felt conned or taken advantage of? What did

you do? Most of the time, we keep complaining to our friends

and saying, ‘It’s not my fault!’ ‘That person was to blame!’ 

Why do we do this? Well, because it makes us feel good! By

playing the victim, we get lots of sympathy, don’t we? At the

same time, we want to feel assured that we were in the right and

justify our own actions. 

69 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

Sometimes, complaining becomes therapeutic. After all the

complaining, we actually feel less emotional burden as we get it

off our chest.

Remember that while playing victim appears to have lots

of payoffs, the cost of doing so is high because as long as

we blame something or someone else, we rob ourselves of

the power to take charge, and change the situation. 

When I talk about taking absolute responsibility for what

happens, I am not suggesting that you blame yourself. Taking

responsibility and blaming yourself is totally different. Some

people blame themselves for everything – and that is not a useful

pattern. 

When you blame yourself, you beat yourself up and feel

helpless and depressed once again. ‘It’s my fault that I’m so

stupid’, ‘I really screwed up again.’ 

This is not what taking responsibility is all about. Taking

responsibility means that you acknowledge the fact that the

choices you made in the past have contributed to your present

situation. So, instead of feeling bad, you put yourself in a state of

possibility as you put the choice back in your own hands. 

So start taking responsibility for the results you have, for

how you feel and for the way you communicate.

If your children are lazy and rebellious, take responsibility

for the way you have been communicating with them. If your

staff are lazy and uncommitted, take responsibility for the fact

that you have not tapped into their passion. 

If you have no time, take responsibility for the fact that you

have not managed it effectively. If you were retrenched, take

responsibility for the fact that you did not make yourself more

valuable. If you get angry and frustrated, take responsibility for

how you feel.

If your customers are unreasonable and your colleagues are

not cooperative, take responsibility for how you are

communicating with them. Then ask yourself, ‘What can I do

differently to turn things around?’

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 70

Take Absolute Responsibility for Your Results

‘Don’t wish that things were better, wish you were better’

- Jim Rohn

W

hen I wrote my first book, ‘I Am Gifted, So Are You!’

I was really excited that a reputable company with a

prestigious name had agreed to publish it. 

I believed that with their track record and experience, the

marketing and distribution of my book would be in good hands.

I believed that with the right marketing efforts, it would become

a best-seller within a few months.

What followed however was one disappointment after

another.

There was very little effort made by the publisher to market

the book. They did not arrange for any book reviews, book

launches, talks or any form of publicity. Not only were my books

distributed behind schedule to the bookshops, they were only in

a selected few outlets. They were given inconspicuous shelf

space and there were no posters or standees to support the sale. 

There was also no effort made to sell the book on-line

through Amazon or any of the other internet bookstores. Sure

enough, the books hardly left the shelf.

I was utterly disappointed and furious. I believed that I had

written a great book but was totally shortchanged by my

publisher. I kept going round blaming the stupid company for

the lousy sales of my book. 

Whenever friends asked about my book, I would reply, ‘It’s

all their fault! If they had done their job, the book would be a

best seller by now.’ 

The worst of it was that when I complained to the company,

they said that they could not do anything because they had no

marketing budget and were only used to publishing dictionaries

and school assessment books. 

Being a first-time author with no experience or power to

negotiate, I felt totally helpless. There was nothing I could do.

Or so I thought.

Then, I realized that I was well and truly playing the role of

victim here. (Yes, how easy it is for us to fall into this trap). As

long as I complained and blamed my publisher, I was not in a

position of power. And I was expending energy wastefully. 

71 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

‘I realized that I too had fallen into the trap of playing

Victim…’

As long as I continued on this blame-others path, my book

would never sell. So I decided to take ownership and responsibility

for the success of the book. I knew that for things to change, I

had to change first. 

With this fresh mindset, I asked myself, ‘What can I do to

take charge of the situation?’ How can I turn this around?’ I

decided that I would market and promote the book myself. 

I decided to take out newspaper advertisements, arrange for

book talks all over the country and send press releases to

journalists to review the book. 

Many authors who knew me said that I was crazy to do that

as it was not my job and responsibility. 

What’s more, the newspaper ads would cost me about

$10,000. If the book does sell, it would be the publisher who

would stand to benefit the most. As the author I am only entitled

to royalties of 12% of nett receipts, just under $1.50 a book. It

would take forever for me to breakeven. 

Despite this, I went ahead, placed the ads and started to go

round all the schools and bookshops to give talks to promote the

book. I did an average of five talks a week. 

Within six months, ‘I Am Gifted, So Are You!’ was ranked

the number one best selling humanities book at the largest chain

of bookstores. It sold out. 

The second edition of ‘I Am Gifted…’ with a brand new

cover, massive re-write and new publisher, was launched and

over the next four years it went through fifteen re-prints,

becoming one of the most consistent best-sellers in the country. 

Not only did I eventually make back my $10,000 through

book royalties, but I made millions of dollars through my

businesses, as the book boosted the popularity of the seminars I

was running!

This is the supreme power of taking ownership and

responsibility! 

So, think what areas of your life are not working right now?

What results do you want to change? Stop waiting for the

environment to change. Instead ask yourself, ‘If I am responsible

for this, what can I do to change it?’

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 72

Take Responsibility for How YOU Feel 

One of the key elements that drive our actions and results are

the emotional states we experience. When we feel excited and

motivated, we are more likely to take action that will lead to

great results. But when we are upset and depressed, we rarely

make good decisions or do anything productive. 

Unfortunately, these are the common scenarios. ‘He made

me angry’ ‘My divorce is really depressingme’ ‘My kids are

driving me crazy’ ‘My work load and unappreciative boss is

driving me to a nervous breakdown’.

As long as we cast blame outside ourselves, our states will be

out of our control. This is why most people allow their emotions

to run their lives, with the result that they end up feeling

helpless and powerless.

Start Taking Responsibility for How You Feel! You will

then Have the Power to Put Yourself in the Most Empowering

Emotional States.

If you are upset, you are choosing to be upset. If you are

excited, you are choosing to be excited. Remember, no one can

affect how you feel unless you allow them to. The moment you

realize this, you can choose to feel differently. 

Successful individuals choose to feel empowered and

positive even in the most dire of circumstances. That is how

they feel constantly motivated to improve their situation. 

For example, if you get fired unfairly, you can choose to feel

depressed and wallow in self-pity. You can also choose to feel all

fired up to go out and make a success of yourself, to make your

ex-company regret their decision! In fact, some of the greatest

companies in the world were built by men who were motivated

to get back at their ex-companies for firing them.

The most famous example is what Lee Iacoccadid when Henry Ford II fired

him (a personality clash). He simply went and joined a rival motor company

(Chrysler), turned that ailing company around, and built it up to rival Ford.

Or look what Ivana Trumpdid when real estate magnet Donald Trump

dumped her for a younger woman. Instead of drowning her ‘loss’ with

alcohol, anti depressants and wrecking her health, she made herself even

more glamorous and publicly announced to other wronged wives, “Don’t 

get mad, get even!” and proceeded to wrest a mega settlement from him. 

73 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

In Chapter 6 (The Secret of Peak Performance) and chapter 9

(The Transformation of Meaning), we will explore in greater depth

how to take total control of our thoughts and our emotional

states. 

How to Become a Master Communicator!

The power to communicate is one of the most important tools

we have as human beings. In fact, your ability to achieve your

goals almost always depends on your ability to communicate and

influence other people. As a salesperson, your ability to

communicate your product benefits will determine whether you

get that sale. 

As a business owner, your ability to motivate your staff,

attract new clients and investors is determined by your power as

a communicator. 

To be an effective teacher or a parent, you must be able to

motivate, inspire, convince, build rapport and sell ideas to your

children or students. 

So, do you want to become a master communicator, someone

who is always able to influence others in a powerful way? Again,

the key is to take responsibility for the way you communicate,

and the results you are getting from it. This way, we attain

absolute power over the effect of our communication.

Whenever we communicate with someone, do we always get

the response that we want? 

When we attempt to motivate our staff, do they always

respond by getting motivated? 

When we sell an idea to someone, do they always buy what

we say? 

Does the meaning of our communication always get across

the way we want it too? You know that the answer to all of the

above is a flat No!

So what happens when we do not get the response that we

want? 

Again, we have two choices! 

We can choose to blame the other person for not being

receptive, for being unreasonable, close minded, stupid, etc. But

you know what? By doing this, there is nothing more we can do

about it! We have shut the door on them.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 74

Let’s hear what traditional communication theory says about

successful communication. It theorizes that when two people

communicate, both have an equal, i.e. 50% each way

responsibility, for the success of the communication. 

In other words, say A is talking to B and attempting to sell

B an idea. A can do his best to communicate, but 50% of the

success of his communication lies with B. 

If B has a closed mind and does not want to listen, the

communication can never be successful. So B is to be blamed for

the unsuccessful communication. Unfortunately, people who

buy this theory never become effective communicators. Why?

Because by accepting this theory, we will always be limited as

communicators. We will not always get the result we want! In

fact we will seldom get the results we want.

Does this happen to you? You motivate your staff to work

harder, but they don’t respond positively, so you give up! You try

to motivate your children to study harder, but it doesn’t work, so

you say, ‘What’s the point? They are just lazy.’ You do your best

to sell a product to a group of prospects, but they don’t buy, so

you say, ‘I guess they are just not interested in this product.’

AB

50% 50%

Responsibility Responsibility

75 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

Take 100% Responsibility for the Success 

of Your Communication

A study of the most influential and impactful communicators in

the world, revealed that what set them apart was that they

always took 100% responsibility for the success of their

communication. If they (A) communicated an idea to another

person (B), and B did not respond successfully, then they would

not blame B. They would take responsibility and accept that

their own communication was not effective. By doing this, they

have the power to change their communication, until they get

the desired response.

Such great communicators hold the belief that the meaning

of their communication was the response they got, regardless of

their intention. 

For example, if they attempted to communicate their

sincerity, but the other person felt that they were insincere, they

would take responsibility that the meaning of their communication

was ‘insincerity’, even though they intended to be sincere. It

could be their tone of voice or body language that made them

seem ‘insincere’. They would then change their communication

strategy until they got the response they desired, i.e. being

sincere.

AB

100% 100%

Responsibility Responsibility

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 76

The Meaning of Your Communication is the 

Response you Get!

Keep Changing your Communication until you 

get the Desired Response!

We must understand that different people perceive the world

differently. Everybody has different internal filters. When you

tell a joke, a group of people may laugh while another group does

not think it is funny at all. It is not that the second group does

not have a sense of humour. It is just that they perceive humour

differently. As a great communicator, we must take responsibility

for it and change our communication (joke) until we get them

to laugh. So, taking responsibility and having extreme flexibility

is the key to being a master of influence.

Words, Tonality & Body Language

The other thing you must understand is that our communication

consists of three major elements. The words we use, our tone of

voice and our body language. 

According to research, the total impact of our communication

consists of words (7%), tone of voice (38%) and body language

(55%). Body language is made up of our facial expression,

gestures, posture, breathing pattern, eye movement and muscle

tension.

Although what we say is extremely important, it is the least

impactful when compared to how we say it (tone of voice and

our body language). 

Test this out (not for real, but in front of a mirror). You can

tell a client how great and exciting your company is but if your

tone of voice is dull, your face expressionless and your body is

sagging with fatigue, they won’t buy what you are saying. 

I once had a teacher ask me in the most boring tone of voice

and with a deadpan face, ‘I wonder why I can never motivate my

Communication

tonality

38%

body

language

55%

words

7%

+ + =

77 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

students no matter what I say?’ ‘I felt like telling him to listen to

his own voice and go look at his face in the mirror. But I just

couldn’t be so direct as to be rude.

The point is that when we communicate, we must pay

attention to not only our words, but more importantly to our

tone of voice and our body language. Very often when our children

don’t get motivated despite what we say, or when our clientsdon’t

buy what we sell, it could be because our non-verbal

communication is sabotaging us.

There are No Resistant Students, 

Only Inflexible Teachers

In my training seminars, I get a good number of teachers and

lecturers who come wanting to learn to become more powerful

communicators. 

I usually tell them to adopt this belief: ‘There are no resistant

students, only inflexible teachers.’ Initially, a few will get

offended. But they eventually realize that by following this

principle, it puts the responsibility back on them and gets results.

Why? Because with responsibility comes the power to do

whatever it takes to build rapport with the students, until they

listen. 

Once there was a teacher who asked me what to do with all

the attention deficit children in her class. I replied saying,

‘Attention deficit is an excuse given by boring teachers.’ 

I almost got thrown out of the room for that one! But the

point I later made was that in the classes that I conduct in schools,

every student, even those that had been labeled attention deficit

were extremely focused, attentive and participative. The reason?

Because I conducted my lessons with lots of fun and excitement!

I kept modifying my teaching style until I got the response I

wanted, attentive learning! When we label people ‘attention

deficit’ or ‘stupid’, it gives us an easy way out.

Remember how I used the Ultimate Success Formula to turn

the Patterns of Excellence program from its initial flop to filling

up every seat? Yes, it was all about taking responsibility for my

communication. When I first conducted the preview, I did my

very best to convince the audience that the program would be a

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 78

great investment and that it could change their life. 

As you know, only one person signed up. There and then I

had a choice. I could have chosen to blame all of them for being

stupid people who did not care about their future. Instead I

chose to accept that my communication was not effective.

It could have been my choice of words, the tone of my voice

(like too slick?), or my body language was not right. 

By taking responsibility, I had the power to change my

communication until I got the response I wanted: that it was for

them to realize how great the program was, and to sign up. I then

restructured my presentation to sell to them in a way that they

wanted to be sold!

You Always Have a Choice!

Some people always ask, ‘But what If it is really not my fault?

What if the situation is totally out of my hands?’ Well, I believe

that we always play a role in creating whatever is happening to

us, whether consciously or subconsciously. 

We create our experiences either through our thoughts or

our actions. You can say something emphatically, but if you are

thinking something else, people can pick up the vibes that show

up in your body language.

People who are in control of their lives believe that they

create their world. If everything is going great, then they created

it, not anybody else. If things are not going well, then they

created it as well. 

Some people tell me that they never get a good break. They

never get lucky enough to land a great opportunity. They are

never at the right place at the right time. Again, I believe that

you create your own luck. Or I prefer the word opportunity or

break.

If you never find any good opportunities, it could be because

of your limiting beliefs and thoughts. If you keep believing that

there are no opportunities around, your mind will tend to delete

all the great opportunities, even if they are there right before you. 

You see what you want to see. At the same time, if you keep

thinking negative thoughts, you will, like a magnet, keep

attracting everything that is negative to you! 

79 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

So choose to create positive thoughts and empowering

beliefs, and the world around you will change!

Once at a seminar, a woman who had an ongoing abusive relationship 

with her husband asked, ‘Are you saying that I asked to be beaten up?’ 

I replied, ‘No. I am not saying that. I am saying that you have a choice to

stay or to go. To put up with the abuse or to stand up for yourself. You

have to take responsibility for the fact that you are choosing to stay on

and allow the abuse to continue.’ 

So stop blaming and playing the role of victim. You can choose to stand up

for yourself, choose to leave or choose to stay. You can choose to feel bad

about yourself or choose to learn a lesson from this and feel empowered. 

The moment she believed that she had all these choices, she started to

feel a sense of confidence and power she had never felt before. 

In the end, she chose to give him an ultimatum, and then she left him. 

Five years on, she is happy in a new marriage, with three wonderful

children. And she is also the owner of a successful business. ‘If not for 

that experience, I never would have discovered the courage and power

within myself to achieve all that I have now’, she says.

Margaret, a professional make up artist in her thirties had a history of bad

relationships. Every time she met a new guy, things would be great for the

first few months or so. Then, they would start to borrow money from her,

play around and finally break her heart. 

For some reason, Margaret attracted these types of men, over and over

again. She really envied her friends who had decent boyfriends, and

enjoyed stable relationships. She, like most people, attributed it to her 

bad luck of falling for the wrong guy. 

When she was asked how she could have chosen to create and repeat this

problem, she realized that she has been subconsciously attracting these

types of men. Through a number of therapy sessions, she found out that

she was unconsciously modeling herself after her long-suffering mum and

attracting men just like her dad, who was just like the men in her life. 

She also discovered that the way she dressed and acted and the places

she hung around in, attracted the ‘irresponsible guy’. The moment she 

took responsibility for creating the problem, she had the power to choose

to decide and behave differently. Within a few months, she found a

wonderful guy who eventually settled down with her.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY

For Things to Change, I Must Change First

If there is one single most important message I want to give you

in this chapter, it is this: ‘For things to change, we must first

change ourselves.’ When we take responsibility for what we get

and change ourselves, everything and everybody else will

change with us! 

One time the managing director and owner of a chain of

boutiques attended my training program. He complained that all

his staff were unmotivated, uncommitted and incompetent. He

also complained that he kept getting clients who were prone to

bargaining and had little purchasing power. ‘For some reason,

the staff that we get are always lazy and useless, we never get the

hardworking, ambitious type’. 

I sat down with the man and asked him to list down the

attributes of his ideal staff. He took about five minutes and came

up with an incredible list of the perfect staff. 

The person had to be highly motivated, responsible, have

good work experience, strong track record, passionate… the list

went on. I took a look at the list and a look at the MD and

asked, ‘Would this ideal employee want to work for you?’ 

Initially he was taken aback by my comment, but pretty

soon, he was getting my point. I went on to say, ‘If you want to

attract the best employees, you have to be the best company (in

your field).’ ‘If you want to attract the perfect staff, you have to

be the perfect boss.’ For things to change, he had to change first. 

He caught on. Over the next six months, he asked himself,

‘How do I make this company the best place to work for, such

that the best and brightest will want to join me?’ 

He started to put in a rigorous recruitment selection scheme,

an exciting profit sharing plan, new classy uniforms, a re-branding campaign for the company and created an honest and

open communication culture. And he also started giving more

autonomy to staff in decision making. 

Sure enough, many of the old, unmotivated staff started

leaving because they could not take the pressure of the new

weekly feedback sessions and the performance-based pay scheme.

But then young, energetic and motivated people started coming

in and the whole business turned around. At the same time the

80

81 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

new image created by the company’s re-branding campaign, its

new culture and bright new and knowledgeable staff started

attracting higher spending customers who didn’t haggle.

Does this only apply to business? Of course not! This applies

to virtually anything in your life. 

I once met a woman who could not find the right partner and she had been

looking for the last 20 years. She was in her late 30s and getting concerned

she would never find her ideal guy. When I asked her what she was looking

for, she started describing this perfect man who had to be rich, handsome,

humorous, sensitive and charming. Again I asked her very bluntly, ‘Would

this man with all these traits want to marry you?’ ‘Would this ideal guy be

attracted to someone like you?’ If you want to attract the perfect man, you

must first be that perfect woman to attract him!

There was a mother who complained to me that her son was

not motivated at all to learn Mandarin. He kept giving the

excuse that Mandarin was really difficult and that he did not

need to learn it. She kept trying to convince him that if he put

his mind to it, he could do it. She also kept trying to make him

see that Mandarin was an important language to learn.

‘I’ve tried everything. He just won’t listen and change his

mindset about learning Mandarin.’ 

I asked the mum, ‘Do you speak Mandarin at home?’ ‘No, my

husband and I can’t speak the language as we were both from

English speaking backgrounds,’ was her slightly surprised reply. 

I then asked, ‘Have you thought of learning the language

yourself and speaking at home so your child will have more

exposure?’ ‘Oh, it’s just too difficult to learn. Anyway, we don’t

have to use it’, was her reply. 

She had given the reason why her son was so resistant to

learning Mandarin. I explained to her that although she was

verbally telling her son that Mandarin was easy and important,

her actions communicated the total opposite, and she was

responsible for him not being motivated at all. 

Fortunately, I convinced her. When she decided to put in

the effort to learn together with her son and use the language at

home, her son started to get motivated as well.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 82

So…

If you want to attract the best staff, be the best boss

If you want to have the best kids, be the best parent

If you want the perfect wife, then be that perfect husband

If you want the highest income, add the greatest value

If you want to attract the best customers, become the best company

Use ‘I Choose’ Often

The words we use daily are a reflection of how we

frame experiences in our mind. When you start to

use the word ‘I choose’ often, you start to perceive

your experiences with more control than you ever

thought possible.

Instead of saying… Say…

I am depressed I choose to feel depressed

They don’t understand me I choose to communicate in 

way that makes them not 

understand me

Company sales are down I choose to allow company 

sales to be down

The staff are not motivated I choose to allow the staff 

to be unmotivated

I keep getting lousy results I choose to get lousy results

They take advantage of me I choose to allow them 

to take advantage

I have poor health I choose to have poor health

83 THE KEY TO ABSOLUTE POWER

Although it may seem difficult at times to say that you choose

to create something, especially when it is negative, you

immediately put yourself in the position of being the cause. And

therefore the agent of change.

Yes, by exercising the choice of creating something, you

have the power to choose to change it. When you say ‘I am

depressed’, it implies that you are depressed by something and

there is nothing you can do about it. When you say ‘I choose to

feel depressed’, you acknowledge that you are creating your state

of depression. You are allowing something or someone to cause

you to create that state. See the difference?

Now, just by changing your physiology and your internal

representation, you can change how you feel in a moment!

That’s awesome power within your grasp.

I realize that by saying ‘I choose to allow the staff to be

unmotivated’ or ‘I choose to allow the company sales to be

down’, it may sound as though you do not care and are happy it

is happening. Remember that this not at all the intention. So

you may not want to communicate ‘I choose’ statements to

others. It may make you seem like a real a**h***. ‘I choose’

statements are purely how you would communicate to yourself

internally.

We explore the power of our beliefs in the next chapter.

Chapter Summary

1 Taking absolute responsibility gives us 

the power to change our circumstances.

2 When we give excuses, blame others or 

complain, we take the power out of our own

hands. We play the role of victim.

3 Many people play the victim game because 

of the perceived payoffs. In the long term, 

it costs us a lot more.

4 We must take responsibility for our results, 

how we feel and the way we communicate.

5 The meaning of your communication is the

response you get, regardless of your intention.

Keep changing your communication until you 

get the desired response.

6 We communicate through our words (7%), 

tone of voice (38%) and our body 

language (55%).

7 For things to change, we must change first

8 Use the word ‘I choose’ in your everyday

communication.

THE INCREDIBLE

POWER OF BELIEFS

5

Beliefs can make ordinary people do awesome, 

extraordinary things but holding on to limiting Beliefs 

can also cripple the most talented

W

hy is it that some people are able to achieve so much

more out of their lives than others? Why are some

people able to produce such outstanding, even

extraordinary results… far exceeding what is commonly

expected? 

Is it because they have a lot more talent, acumen,

capability? Do they have superior resources that other people

lack? You and I both know by now that this is not true at all. 

Did the Wright brothers, inventors of the airplane, have

more aerodynamic and engineering expertise than all the

engineers and inventors of their time? No. They were simple

bicycle repairmen. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY

Did Mahatma Gandhicome from a powerful family that

enabled him to establish a power base to liberate India from the

British? No. He was just an ordinary man, a lawyer. And using

the law taught to him by his colonial masters certainly wouldn’t

have freed India. Instead, gentle Gandhi used the power of

peaceful assemblies, bringing tens of thousands to sit in peaceful

civil disobedience…until the British caved in. 

Was Ho Chi Mina mighty general who trained the Viet

Cong to first drive out the French and then the Americans? No,

he was an intellectual and a journalist who didn’t even have the

heart to kill the pests who shared the many jails he was thrown

into as he fought for independence for his beloved Vietnam. Ho

made friends with the insects! 

Neither Gandhi or Ho Chi Min had any measurable

resources to do what they did… and history is peppered with

many such outstanding individuals.

What set these men apart were the incredible beliefs they

had about the moral rightness of their cause. That gave them

extraordinary strength to fight on, against all odds, and win.

David against mighty Goliath. 

Beliefs are what empower seemingly ordinary people to

achieve extraordinary things. At the same time, limiting beliefs

are what keep most people, despite all their resources, from

achieving what they really can.

Our beliefs are like the operating system to our brain. They

determine what we expect from ourselves and how much we get

out of ourselves. First of all, your beliefs define your expectations. 

If you believe that you can become a millionaire, a CEO or

a President, then that is what you will expect from yourself. If

you believe that you will never have the capability to earn more

than $40,000 a year, then that is what you will expect from

yourself. 

If you believe that you can lead others, then you will expect

to attain nothing less than a management position. If you

believe that you are nothing more than a follower, then you will

not expect anything more than being just a front line employee.

At the same time, your beliefs will drive the actions you

take, and how much of your personal potential you will tap.

When you believe that something is possible, you will go all out

86

87 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

to make it happen. You will take massive action and have the

commitment to keep doing whatever it takes to achieve it. As a

result, you will tap a lot of your personal potential. 

What kind of results do you think you will produce? Great

results! When you get great results, it will reinforce your

empowering beliefs even more! For example, if you have an

empowering belief that you can build a highly successful

business that will positively impact millions of lives, this belief

will drive you to take massive action. 

You will start innovating new product lines, probably invest

in R & D to create entirely new products or processes. You will

develop a business plan, attract investors and launch your

marketing campaign. Sure you will have lots of obstacles along

the way, but your beliefs will drive you to turn any failure into

feedback and to change your strategy until you get the result you

want. Even if you don’t achieve the exact targets you set for

yourself, you are going to produce some great result.

However, if you believe that something is impossible, that it

cannot be done, will you take action? Not likely. Even if you did,

you would probably stop the moment you hit a problem. As a

result, you may have all the potential in the world, but you will

not tap into it. And sure enough, you will not get the results.

When this happens, it will further reinforce the belief that it just

can’t be done. 

BELIEFS

Expectation

Action/Effort

Potential

Results

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 88

For example, if you don’t believe that you can ever build a

successful company, you won’t even attempt it. Even if you did

go into business, you will quit the moment something goes

wrong because you had limiting beliefs that ‘It is just too

difficult’ or ‘I don’t have what it takes’. 

Beliefs: The Tap to Our Personal Potential

So you see, when we believe that something is possible, we will

inevitably summon all the resources we have to support that

belief. We will open the tap to our creativity, energy and

resources. Does this mean we will be able to produce the exact

result that we envisioned? Not all the time. But having a belief

of possibility will allow us to produce results far beyond what we

would have done if we had no belief to begin with. 

At the same time, if you believe that something is beyond

your reach, you shut out the possibility of ever achieving it. You

shut the tap to your own personal potential. 

89 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

Now, whether this or any other personal development book

you have read will change your life, depends on the beliefs you

finally choose to have, and act upon.

If, after reading this book, you choose to believe that you can

achieve any goal by applying all the strategies, I bet you are

going to set some pretty high goals for yourself. At the same

time, you will take massive action by applying all the ideas you

have gained. You will use the ultimate success formula, start

taking responsibility and do whatever it takes! As a result, you

are going to tap a whole lot more of your potential. 

And, even if all your goals are not met immediately, you are

inevitably going to experience a major increase in your quality

of life. If you believe it will work for you, then it will! Believe me!

At the same time, if you choose to be a skeptic and say, ‘All

this seems pretty interesting, but I don’t think it will work for

me’, then chances are you will not have any expectations at all.

You will settle back into taking the same old actions. As a result,

you are going to tap no more of your potential that you have

before. Will you experience any results? Of course not! Again,

your belief that this stuff doesn’t work becomes a self-fulfilling

prophecy. 

The fundamental reason I have been able to create so much

more results in my life as compared to so many of my peers, some

of whom are probably a lot smarter and more hardworking than

I, is simply because of the powerful beliefs I started to build

about myself when I was in my impressionable teenage years.

At that time I was exposed to many empowering role models

and it is from these super charged people that I learned that age

is no barrier to creating wealth and success. 

I read about Anthony Robbins who became a motivational

trainer and millionaire by the age of 25. I read about Richard

Branson, the boss of Virgin, who started his first business at the

age of 15 and became a millionaire at the age of 23. I read about

Steve Jobs who started Apple Computers at 18. 

At the same time, my journalist mum started getting

interested in the fledging ‘Human Potential Movement’. As a

result, she brought me to seminars by motivational speakers like

Dennis Waitley. I was probably the only schoolboy in that

seminar!

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 90

My grandfather also bought me books by Dale Carnegie who

had inspired millions to become effective public speakers and

communicators in generations past. As a result of all this

exposure, I developed an unshakeable belief that I could start a

business, become a best-selling author and trainer before age 24! 

Most of my peers were not fortunate enough to be exposed

to such empowering role models. So they had the usual limiting

beliefs such as; starting a business is difficult and risky, you need

to be at least 40 years old with lots of money and relevant work

experience and contacts to even consider starting a company. 

As for writing a book, when I started writing the manuscript

to my first book I was 16 and my friends laughed saying, ‘Who

will ever read a book written by someone so young?’ In their

minds – and this goes for most other adults too – only very

smart, very experienced and highly qualified people write books. 

Many of my peers continued to hold on to these limiting

beliefs as they embarked on their careers and in so doing, they

held themselves back from what they potentially could achieve.

Consequently they made average decisions that led to average

results.

The Pygmalion Effect

Not only do our beliefs affect our performance and results, but

they also affect the people we interact with as well. As a teacher,

parent or boss, the beliefs you have about your students,

children and employees will affect how you treat them, how

they respond, and ultimately how they perform.

Have you ever heard of the Pygmalion effect? This

psychological phenomenon was first presented by Robert

Merton, a professor of Sociology at Columbia University in

1957. It is about how our expectations of other people can create

a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

The study involved a teacher who was instructed to teach a

new class of gifted students for the next school year. What she

did not know was that these students had been tested and found

to be of low IQ. Moreover, they had behavioral problems.

Sure enough, when she started teaching, the students started

misbehaving and did not learn or respond. But because she

91 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

believed they were high IQ students, she figured that they were

not the ones who had the problem, but she. 

She started to take responsibility for their misbehavior and

disinterest in learning. Maybe her teaching style was too boring

and not stimulating enough to capture the attention of these

gifted, demanding children. 

So she started to experiment and change the way she taught.

She started to encourage them, arouse their curiosity, challenge

them with games and activities and really nurtured them. The

more she treated them like gifted students, the more they

responded. 

At the end of the school year, the academic grades of the

students jumped tremendously. And when retested, their IQs

measured a 20-30 point increase on average. She literally

created gifted students! (Think how many supposed slow

learners or ‘normal’ stream children are languishing simply

because of uninspiring teachers?) 

In his work called ‘Social Theory and Social Structure’,

Merton said the phenomenon occurs when “a false definition of

the situation evokes a new behavior which makes the original

false conception come true.”

In other words, once an expectation is set, even if it isn't

accurate, we tend to act in ways that are consistent with

that expectation. Surprisingly often, the result is that the

expectation, as if by magic, comes true.

Your Beliefs Can Even Affect Your Bio Chemistry

So far we have talked about how our beliefs affect our perceptions,

decisions and hence our actions. However, your beliefs are so

powerful that they can literally affect your biochemistry. 

Yes, your beliefs can affect the state of your energy levels and

your physical wellbeing. Have you heard of the placebo effect? 

In the 1950s, doctors wanted to investigate if a patient’s

belief in a drug actually made a difference to whether or not the

drug was effective in bringing about a cure. 

In one experiment, they gave patients pills which were

nothing more than sugar in capsules. They then told the

patients that the medicine would be effective in curing their flu

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 92

and headaches. To their surprise, the sugar pills brought about

almost the same level of relief as compared to the actual drugs!

The placebo studies showed that our beliefs can literally activate

the chemicals in our body to bring about a cure. 

A later study showed that beliefs can even override the

effects of chemicals present in your body. In this experiment,

100 medical students were divided into two groups. The first

group was given a red pill and told that it was a stimulant. In

actual fact, the pill contained a barbiturate (a depressant). 

The second group was given a blue pill and told that it was

a depressant. It actually contained a strong stimulant. The

results were startling. 

In 50% of the students who took the pills, their bodies

reacted according to their beliefs about what the drugs would do.

Students who took the red pill reported that they felt extremely

alert and energetic, despite having actual depressive drugs in

their body. Students who took the blue pill reported feeling

drowsy even though they had actually taken a stimulant. 

Why was this possible? A new branch of cognitive neuro-psychology called expectancy theory has found that every

thought, belief and desire can act as an agent of change in our

cells, tissues and organs.

In fact, do you know that every drug that is developed today

has to go through a double-blind placebo test before it is

approved by the American FDA (Federal drug Administration)?

The reason for this is that if even fake drugs can bring about a

cure (dependent on the patient’s belief), the only way to be sure

that a drug is medically effective is that it can produce a better

recovery rate than a placebo. 

What is amazing is that in order for a drug to be proven

medically effective, it has to beat a placebo by just a few

percentage points.

93 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

Mr. Wright – the Man Who Should Have Died…

But for his Belief

I

n his book, ‘The Psychobiology of Mind Body Healing’, Dr. Ernest

Rossi reports on a ground breaking case which showed the effects of

beliefs in a drug and how that belief can positively or negatively

affect a person’s immune system. It was the case of Mr. Wrightwho

suffered from advanced cancer of the lymph nodes, called Lymphosarcoma.

He was at such an advanced stage of the cancer that he developed

resistance to all known treatments. He had huge tumor masses the size

of oranges in the neck, groin, chest and abdomen. His thoracic duct was

obstructed and between 1-2 liters of milky fluid had to be drawn out of

his chest every other day. 

He was taking oxygen through a mask at regular intervals and was in 

a terminal stage. In spite of all this, Mr. Wright had not given up hope,

although all his doctors had. The reason? A new drug that he had

expected to come along and cure him was finally ready for trial use. 

The drug was called Krebiozen. 

Initially, Mr. Wright was not able to qualify for the drug trials as patients

had to have a life expectancy of at least three to six months. Mr. Wright,

at that point of time, was given less than two weeks to live. However, 

Mr. Wright believed so much that this drug would cure him that he kept

begging for the opportunity. Eventually, his physician, Dr. Philip West,

decided to go against the rules and give him the drug. 

Injections were to be given three times weekly and Mr. Wright had

received his first dose on a Friday. When the doctor came back on

Monday, he expected to see the patient in his bed. Instead, the doctor

found him walking around the ward and chatting to everyone around him.

Immediately, the doctor checked on the other cancer patients who 

had been given the drug. He saw no change or changes for the worse 

in some.

Strangely, only Mr. Wright had shown brilliant improvement. On further

testing, the doctor found that his tumor masses had melted to half their

original size within a few days. The doctor continued giving him the

medication. Within ten days, Mr. Wright was discharged from hospital,

breathing normally and fully active. 

This unbelievable situation began just at the beginning of the Krebiozen

drug trials. However, within 2 months, reports came out saying that all 

of the testing clinics reported no results, that Krebiozen was probably

ineffective as a drug for cancer. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 94

When Mr. Wright heard about these reports, he started to lose faith.

After two months of practically perfect health, he relapsed into his

original condition, and became very miserable. His cancer came back 

and he was re-admitted into the hospital. 

His doctor wanted to investigate if his initial cure was the result of the

‘placebo effect’. So, the doctor lied to him and said that he had now

heard that a new super refined, double strength formula was about to

arrive the next day. Immediately, upon hearing the news, Mr. Wright

regained his optimism and belief in a cure. 

The next day, the doctor injected him with the new ‘double strengthened

formula’. In actual fact, he injected nothing but fresh water into him. 

This time, the cure was even more dramatic than the first. The tumor

masses melted, the chest fluid vanished and he recovered fully and 

was discharged again. He then remained symptom free for two 

whole months. 

At about this time, the American Medical Association (AMA) announced

in the press that ‘nationwide tests show that Krebiozen is a worthless

drug in the treatment of cancer.’ Within a few days of this report, 

Mr. Wright was readmitted into the hospital. This time his belief and 

faith were totally gone. In less than two days, he passed away. A sad

ending but one with a very powerful lesson. 

When Belief Alone Can Cure Cancer

Doctors now know that the growth of some cancers can be

controlled by a person’s immune system. If you can improve the

immune system, you can cure the cancer. (Again it goes back to

taking responsibility, taking charge: because no doctor can

strengthen your immune system, only YOU can – with the right

thoughts, right foods, right moves).

So, starting with the belief in a cure, the cancer patient can

activate his/her immune system to mobilize the blood system

with such efficiency that toxic fluids and waste products, that

keep feeding the cancer, are flushed out. 

Many similar cases have been reported in the area of

spontaneous recovery because of an empowering belief system. 

95 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

Miracle Men

I

n 1981, Insurance boss Morris Goodmanwas piloting a plane when 

it crashed. His injuries were extremely severe: his neck was broken

in two places (the first and second vertebrae), the nerves to his

diaphragm had been severed and his diaphragm itself was crushed so

badly that he lost his ability to swallow, to speak or to breathe without

a respirator. The rest of his nerves were damaged so badly that he

suffered a disfunctioning of the kidney and liver and was paralyzed

from the neck down. 

His doctors gave him a 1 in 1000 chance of surviving. Even if he did

survive, they were convinced that he would never regain control over

his bodily functions and would have to remain in a wheel chair for the

rest of his life.

What saved Morris’s life was his belief and faith that he would find 

a way to cure himself and walk out of the hospital with no mechanical

aid. His doctors and nurses tried to convince him that it was

impossible and that he was not being realistic about his injuries. 

‘I didn’t care what medical science expected. I cared what I expected.

And that was to beat the odds and walk out of the hospital a normal

man.’ Morris said. 

Through the use of creative visualization and intense physiotherapy,

Morris’s recovery baffled his doctors as he started gaining control 

over his breathing & swallowing reflexes. He then started to gain

control over his limbs and the rest of his body. Within six months, 

he had attained near full recovery and was able to walk out of the

hospital without the use of any mechanical aid. 

To this day, Morris Goodman still goes around the life insurance

industry, giving inspirational talks about the power of beliefs on

performance. Many books and audio programs have been authored 

on this person they term the ‘miracle man’.

Another Miracle Man, so dubbed by Newsweek International

(Australian Edition) in their cover story in 2003, is Australian vet 

Dr Ian Gawler. 

Gawler, who cured himself of final stage cancer (he had one leg

amputated below the kneecap), went on to help others with a 10-day

Cancer retreat program where ‘creative visualisation’ is one of the

techniques he teaches his cancer clients (many of whom cancer

specialists had given up on), with incredible success. Now in his fifties,

Gawler also recently climbed Mt Everest with his one good leg.

In Gawler’s retreat, the holistic and natural approach to cancer also

utilizes yoga and/or qi gong, both of which use breath control and

meditation (mind control) to heal and boost the immune system. 

And last but not least, an organic vegetarian diet.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 96

The Human Mind Cannot Tell the Difference

Between a Real and a Vividly Imagined Experience

One of the techniques that Morris Goodman and Dr. Ian Gawler

used to crystallize their beliefs and aid their spontaneous

recovery was through the use of creative visualization.

Goodman, for example, kept visualizing himself in the future,

fully recovered and walking around with no mechanical aid. He

kept visualizing himself having total control over his reflexes

and bodily movements. 

But can seeing pictures in our mind actually affect our

physiological responses? Absolutely! 

In fact, medical science has now shown that the human

mind cannot tell the difference between actual experience and

what is vividly imagined. Whether you physically see, hear,

touch or taste something or you vividly imagine it, the same

neurological impulses are activated within our nervous system. 

Where is the Lemon?

Would you like to do an experiment? First I would you to read

the following passage, then follow the instructions and create

the visual images in your mind. Alternatively, you could get

someone to read it for you as you go through this visualization

exercise. Are you ready?

I want to you to close your eyes and imagine yourself in your

kitchen in front of your refrigerator. In your mind’s eye, see

yourself opening the door of the refrigerator. Inside you see a big,

yellow sour lemon. 

Imagine yourself reaching out and holding the lemon in your

hand. Notice the weight, coldness and texture of the lemon.

Now, bring the lemon to your kitchen table and with a sharp

knife slice off a piece. See the lemon juice oozing out all over.

Now, take the piece of sour lemon and pop it into your mouth

and chew on it, feel the sour sensation on your tongue and

around your mouth, and your nostrils puckering as the tangy

scent is released. Now open your eyes.

Let me ask you this question. Do you have more saliva in

your mouth? Did you actually feel that sour sensation? If you

visualized vividly enough, I bet you even cringed your facial

97 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

muscles as you ‘chewed the lemon.’ The interesting thing is that

the lemon was merely in your own imagination. When you

visualized the sour fruit, your brain sent the same neurological

impulses to your salivary glands as if you had physically eaten it,

which produced more saliva to begin the digestive process.

This is Exactly How Some People Frighten Themselves to Death

When they start to imagine that they are being attacked or

are in grave danger, their brains fire off so much fear that their

heart beats faster, their blood pressure increases and they

eventually die of a heart attack.

In certain ancient cultures like the aboriginals of Australia

and the Haitians in the Caribbean, there is a strong belief in

black magic and Voodoo. Their witchdoctors can point an ‘evil

bone’ at a person, for some tribal misdemeanor and, within a few

weeks, that healthy person will actually start to sicken and die

from the ‘curse’. 

Why? Because they convince themselves so utterly, just

through of their imagination, that they will die, their brains

actually send signals to their bodies to shut down their immune

system. Eventually, they succumb and die. 

In Australia such ‘cursed’ aboriginals have been brought to

the hospitals but baffled doctors can’t find anything physically

wrong, yet the victim of the curse will wither away and die. Such

is the power of our beliefs.

Mental Rehearsal for Excellence… the Russian

Athletes ’Secret Weapon’

Many people have made use of the power of visualization to help

them to perform at their peak. This is especially so in the area of

competitive sports where this technique is known as ‘mental

rehearsal’. 

For many years, the Russians had always won and dominated

the gymnastics event in the Olympic games. The Americans

trained just as hard and could not understand how the Russians

were always able to perform at near perfection. It was much later

that the Americans found out that the Russians had used sports

psychologists to teach their athletes to train mentally as well as

physically. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 98

Besides physically practicing, the Russians’ secret was in

spending a few hours a day to visualize themselves doing the

perfect jumps, twists and landings. It was this that allowed them

to tune their performances to near perfection! Today, all top

athletes use the power of visualization to perform at their peak.

In his book, Tiger Woods talks about how he visualizes himself

hitting the perfect ball and watching it land, even before he

actually swings his club.

Mental Versus Physical Training

There was an experiment done on how mental training

compares with actual physical training. A group of men were

divided randomly into three basketball teams. They were asked

to shoot from the free throw line and their scores were recorded.

For the next three weeks, each team went through a different

training routine. 

The first team physically trained for four hours. The second

team did not physically shoot any hoops but imagined

themselves shooting perfect shots for two hours a day. The third

team was the control group so they were asked not to train at all. 

After three weeks, they were retested and their scores

recorded. The first team that trained physically scored an

average improvement of 30%. The second team that trained

mentally also scored an average improvement of 30%. The third

team showed no signs of improvement at all. The experiment

showed that mental training is amazingly as effective as actual

physical practice. If you were to combine both, your

performance would truly be astounding.

So how can you use the power of visualization to program

your mind to perform at its peak? You can use it in virtually any

area of your life. I have personally used this technique before I

give a lecture. 

I have used visualization for speech-making, for play (golf)

and even to pass my driving test! – and believe me, it works

every time.

Before I go on stage, I would visualize myself going up, seeing

the audience in front of me and seeing myself delivering a power

packed talk. I would then see the audience responding and

99 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

giving me resounding applause. I keep playing these images in

my head over and over again. Eventually, by the time I actually

step up on stage, I feel totally relaxed and confident… because

it is as if I had done it so many times before. 

I Used Visualization to Score ‘A’ 

for my Driving Test 

I even used visualization to score an ‘A’ for my driving test,

which I passed on my first attempt. My success astounded

everyone, except me. The reason is this: because I happened to

be sitting for my driving test during the time I was in the Army,

I hardly had time to go for actual driving lessons.

My instructor expected me to fail as I had not been able to

clock sufficient hours on the road to be skillful enough to pass

the test. 

What he didn’t realize was that I spent half an hour each

night visualizing myself in the car (while I was in camp, lying on

my bunk!), manipulating the gearshifts, and driving along the

test routes. I did this again and again until it became second

nature to my reflexes. Eventually I went for the test and scored

near perfect on my first attempt. 

The Pilot Who Played Golf in His Jail Cell

Let me share with you another amazing story about the power of

visualization. There was an American pilot who had been shot down

and imprisoned for many years in North Korea during the Korean

war of the 1950s.

This man was a keen golfer and, during the long hours of imprisonment,

the only thing that kept him sane was visualizing himself playing

golf… and winning of course. He had all the time to ‘play’ 18 holes

over and over again. Well, when he was finally released and returned

home to America, one of the first things he did was to enter a golf

tournament.

Guess what? He won easily, to the absolute amazement of everyone

except himself. They thought his win had to be a fluke? Surely he

was a rusty player… but no, he told everyone that he knew he would

win because he had been mentally playing, practicing the winning

shots, all those long years behind bars. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY

Before Reaching Your Outcome, First See the

Reaching in Your Mind.

Do want to experience another demonstration of how you can

visualize yourself to break through supposed physical

limitations? What I want you to do is to stand up and place your

feet shoulder-width apart. Throughout this experiment, you

must keep your feet firmly planted on the ground. 

Now, I want you to warm up by stretching and loosening up

your waist muscles. Swing your body gently from side to side.

Great! Are you ready? 

Now, point your finger forward and turn your body clockwise

as far as your body will allow you to turn. Once you reach the

maximum point, remember the spot you have reached and turn

back to neutral position. 

Next, I want you to close your eyes and visualize yourself

turning your body clockwise and seeing in your mind’s eye that

your finger is able to move past the maximum point and go

another three feet further. 

Once you have visualized this, open your eyes and physically

turn your finger and your body again. Did you go further this

time?

100

101 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

Most people go a lot further and are amazed at how this short

visualization exercise got them to go beyond their ‘mental

limits’. Think of what other supposed limits you can move

beyond with enough belief and mental rehearsals. 

Breaking the Beliefs of the World

In 1954, one such person broke such a mental barrier that was

set in long distance running. For hundreds of years, runners had

never been able to run one mile in less than four minutes. Many

had attempted this feat but had fallen short. As a result, it was

generally believed, and supposedly backed up as fact by the

medical community, that it was not possible for a human being

to run that fast!

Roger Bannister, a postgraduate student from Oxford

University set a goal to be the first to break this ‘impossible

record’. The fact was that he was nowhere near being the best

runner of his time. There were many other runners better than

he. But this didn’t deter Roger. Besides physical training, he

engaged in a lot of mental training. He kept visualizing himself

breaking the four-minute time barrier. 

Then, on May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister stunned the world

by running the mile in three minutes and 54 seconds. That was

not the most amazing thing. What was truly amazing was that,

within a year, 37 other runners had broken his record. Within

the next three years, over 300 runners had repeated the same

feat. 

But why was it that for so long, nobody had even come close

to achieving it? The minute an ‘ordinary’ runner did it, then so

many others could. This surely proves that what holds many

people back in achieving their goals and fullest potential are not

their lack of capability, but their beliefs.

Your Beliefs Are Never Absolutely True!

If our beliefs have such a great impact on the quality of our lives

and even our physical well being, then we must begin to

examine if the beliefs we have are empowering us or limiting us.

And if our beliefs are limiting us, we must begin to change them!

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 102

At this time, many people would argue, ‘But what if the

beliefs I have are really true? What if I am really not good at

selling? What if it the economy is really down and going to stay

down? What if there are really no opportunities around? What if

it cannot be done? What if I don’t have what it takes?

What you must understand is that the beliefs you have are

never absolutely true. Beliefs are not proven facts. They are

nothing but perceptions, opinions, generalizations we make

about the world around us. 

For every belief you hold, no matter how much you think it

is true, there is always somebody out there with a totally

opposite belief. And to them, their belief is as valid as yours is to

you. 

If you believe that math is tough, there is someone out there

who believes it is easy. If you believe that it is easy to make a

million dollars, there is someone out there who believes it is

impossible. If you believe that times are tough, there is always

somebody out there who believes it is a great time to make

money!

So the question is not whether a belief is true or not. What

is more important is to ask yourself:

‘Does this belief empower me or does this belief limit me?’ 

‘Will this belief help me to get the best out of myself to

achieve my goals?’ Or, ‘Will this belief hold me back?’

For example, in chapter one we said that ‘All of us have the

same neurology. If it is possible for others (the winners), it is

possible for me’. This is an example of an empowering belief. 

Is it absolutely true? I don’t know. What I do know is that

because I have chosen to believe this, it has empowered me to

achieve so much more than many of my peers who chose to

believe that ‘yes, it is possible for others, but it may NOT be

possible for me… because others have more skill, more money, more

experience, more talent or whatever excuse they can think of. 

It is because of my powerful belief in myself that I had dared

to set seemingly impossible goals and achieve them – such as

topping my schools, writing books, starting companies, speaking

to thousands of people or turning around companies.

I have discovered that all successful individuals share the

103 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

belief that ‘everything happens for a reason’ and that ‘behind

every adversity lies is a blessing in disguise.’ 

Again, can we say for sure that this belief is absolutely true?

Of course not. But I have found that having this belief empowers

me to get up from every failure and overcome any adversity, and

gives me the strength to carry on. 

As a result, I eventually reach my outcome and it proves my

belief to be true. At the same time if you choose to believe that

every adversity is just your bad luck, bad fate or a punishment

from god, then you will probably get depressed, quit and stop

taking action. As a result, the adversity really becomes

punishment, since you will never get what you want. 

Whatever You Believe Becomes True for You!

Although beliefs are never absolutely true, it becomes totally

true for the person who believes in it! This is simply because

whatever you belief becomes your reality. 

If you believe that you are stupid, then you will become

stupid. If you believe that you are intelligent, then that is what

you will experience. If you believe you are unlucky, then you will

be unlucky. If you believe that great opportunities come your

way, it will become true for you. 

‘Whether or not you believe you can or you believe you can’t,

either way you are right!’ – Henry Ford

Why is this so? Because our beliefs are one of the key filters

that determine how we perceive the world around us. At any

point of time you do not experience reality, but you experience

your own perception of reality. 

Our brains are always deleting and distorting what we see,

hear and feel. This is why two people can experience the same

event, yet both perceive it very differently. For example, if two

people had an argument, both parties will have very different

accounts of what had happened. 

It is not so much that one or the other is lying, but both

parties delete and distort what they experienced, depending on

their personal beliefs. 

Have you ever experienced a time when your parents believed

you were irresponsible. You could do a hundred things

responsibly, but they only remember the couple of times when

you were irresponsible. ‘Aha you’re doing it again!’ they say.

We do the same things to our friends, family members and

our colleagues. Once we make up our minds that a particular

person is mean, we will tend to focus on all the times our beliefs

are supported, and fail to notice all the occasions when that

person acted generous. Even if we do notice it, we will distort it

by saying that he must be up to something by being so nice!

Heard that one? 

So, whatever we believe, becomes real for us. It becomes ‘our

truth’.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 104

105 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

If you (as a woman) believe that all men are unfaithful, you

will only remember and focus on all the times you saw and heard

about men being unfaithful. You will tend to mentally delete all

the instances when it did not support your belief. You will also

tend to distort what you see and hear to support your belief. If

your husband calls to say he suddenly has to work late, what

thoughts will fire off in your mind? You may start having

suspicions about him fooling around, since you believe all men

are unfaithful. 

What is your likely reaction? You will probably question

him, check on his every move and start getting paranoid,

insecure and upset. As a result, the relationship may break

down, driving him to do what you feared the most… because a

nagging, suspicious wife is impossible to live with.

I have seen so many instances when a person’s belief

becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever you believe

strongly about becomes a reality. This is because you take all the

actions that support that belief, thus encouraging the result.

Some people I know have a belief that there are no

opportunities to make money. They believe that going into

business would be a disastrous mistake. As a result, they focus on

all the news they read in the papers as well as what their friends

tell them about ‘So and so who lost money, went bankrupt and

failed in such and such venture’. This keeps reinforcing their

belief and will prevent them from taking up any opportunities

that come along. 

At the same time, I also know many people who believe that

opportunities abound out there. Such optimists believe that it is

easy to make money. And you know what? They do make plenty

of money and find lots of great opportunities everywhere. Even

when all around them are problems, such people would be able

to see the silver lining in the dark clouds, and turn things around

to become an opportunity for them. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 106

HOW SOME TURN DISASTER TO OPPORTUNITY – For Themselves

Here’s a good example. When the SARS epidemic hit badly, many people

started to believe that business would be bad and they would have to

struggle to survive. I have a friend whose pet business suffered. But,

instead of believing that the outbreak was a big problem, he focused 

on how it could be an opportunity for him. He quickly used his strong

network of suppliers and sales agents to get into the mask and air 

purifier business and he made a big fortune.

A Perceptual Blind Spot… 

Has This Happened to You?

Have you ever experienced this? You are sitting in the living

room watching television when your spouse shouts, ‘Can you go

into the kitchen and get me the salt?’ ‘I don’t know where it is!’

you reply. She shouts back, ‘Go look for it! It is around

somewhere!’ 

Reluctantly you get up and walk into the kitchen mumbling

to yourself, I don’t know where the salt is.’ ‘How can I find it?’

Sure enough, you go in look around and you don’t see the salt.

So you shout back, ‘I can’t find the salt’. 

She says: ‘Look carefully, it is somewhere around’. You look

high and low and still don’t see the salt. Finally, your wife walks

into the kitchen and grabs the salt from right under your nose

and says, ‘What is this? Are you blind?’ 

Why does this happen? In psychology, it is called a schetoma

or a perceptual blind spot. It is one of the most common

examples of how a belief will delete what you perceive. If you

keep convincing yourself that you will not be able to find the

salt, your brain will internally delete the image of the salt even

though your eyes may physically pick it up. 

Similarly, if you believe that there are no opportunities

around and that times are bad, then you will delete everything

that does not support your belief, and you will experience all

the lack.

107 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

What Some Famous & Intelligent People Believed

in So Strongly… We Now Know is Not True!

The tendency for most people is to fight hard to hold on to their

old, limiting beliefs because they believe it must be true! ‘But I

am sure that my beliefs are true! How can they be otherwise?’

they insist. 

Let me ask you this question. Have you ever believed so

much in something in the past, which you now know to be the

exact opposite? I am sure you have. Even some of the most

intelligent people on this planet have held on strongly to beliefs

which have been conclusively proven to be false. Here are just a

few examples.

There is no

need for any

computer to

have more

than 250k 

of RAM

Bill Gates, CEO

of Microsoft,

early 1980s

Heavier than

air flying

machines are

impossible

Lord Kelvin,

President of

Royal Society,

1895

The mile

record of 4

minutes 12.75

seconds will

never be

broken

Harry

Andrews, British

Olympic Coach,

1903

Man will 

never reach

the moon

regardless 

of all future

scientific

advances

Dr. Lee De

Forest, Inventor

of the Audion

tube & the

Father of Radio

The Earth is

the centre of

the universe

Ptolemy, 

Great Egyptian

Astronomer, 2nd

Century

Television

won’t be able

to hold on to

any captive

audience after

6 months.

People will

soon get tired

staring at a

plywood box

every night

Darryl F.

Zanuck, Head of

20th Century

Fox Movies, 1946

There is no

likelihood that

man will tap

the power of

the atom

Robert

Milliken, Nobel

Prize Winner for

Physics, 1923

Nobody wants

to hear actors

talk

Harry M.

Warner, Warner

Bros Pictures,

1927, when 

silent movies

were the norm

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 108

The Creation of Your Beliefs

But how did we form the beliefs that we have today? 

Most of them come from modeling the significant people

around us – like our parents, teachers and friends. We tend to

take on beliefs similar to those people who were most influential

in our lives. If our parents believe that they can never be rich,

you are likely to take on those beliefs yourself. 

If you grow up in a family where nobody finished school,

then you would likely have a belief that education is difficult or

not important. Many of our beliefs also come from our past

experiences.

Remember, that the beliefs you have are nothing but

perceptions and interpretations you make about these past

experiences. However, after a while, we forget they are merely

perceptions and begin to accept them as absolute truths. That is

when they become commands embedded in our brain, and begin

to determine how we live our life. 

While some of the beliefs actually empower us, many of

them limit us at the same time. For example, beliefs like ‘I am

bad at Math’, ‘I am a slow learner’, ‘I cannot relate well with

others’, ‘I am lazy’ or ‘I am too young or too old’. 

Evidence

Evidence

Evidence Evidence

109 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

Well, how did we form our beliefs in the first place? Beliefs

always begin as an idea that someone gives us or we give

ourselves. As we begin to experience more and more supporting

evidences of that idea, the idea solidifies to become a belief. And

once it becomes a belief, we no longer question it. It becomes

part of our internal operating system and drives our every

decision and behavior. 

In his book Unlimited Power, Anthony Robbinsuses a table

as a metaphor for our beliefs. When we first have an idea of

something (for example, I am a slow learner), it is like having a

table top with no legs to support it. At this stage, the idea is

merely an opinion. It has not much power over us. Over time, if

we start to experience evidences that support this idea, it is like

adding legs to this tabletop. Soon, when enough of these legs

(evidences) are added, we will have a solid table (a strong

belief).

‘I Am Lousy At Math’… 

How I Formed that Idea at Age 5

For many years, I used to believe that ‘I was lousy at math’. That

limiting belief prevented me from giving my very best in that

subject. Like all beliefs, mine began as a simple idea when I

struggled to understand multiplication tables as a young kid. 

At the age of five, many of my cousins could easily rattle off

the multiplication tables up to twelve times table. For some

reason, I just could not understand what ‘multiply’ meant and so

found it really tough to memorize the tables. Every time I got it

wrong, my parents would get really disappointed and start

drilling me. As both were working weekdays, weekend outings

became multiplication table drills. 

As a result, I started hating math and found it really painful.

I couldn’t understand why is it that other kids can multiply and

I can’t? From that day on, I began to form the idea that ‘I am

lousy at Math’.

Then one day in class, my teacher decided to test us all on

our multiplication tables. Naturally most of my friends could

rattle them off easily. When it came to my turn, I was asked to

give the answer to ‘5x3’. I just stared and yelled out ‘7’! The

whole class burst out laughing and called me ‘stupid’. This one

experience gave me my first supporting evidence that ‘I was

lousy at math’ and started to reinforce this idea into a belief.

Sure enough I became withdrawn in all future math classes.

I would daydream and not bother understanding what was going

on. I would not bother doing my homework. What was the

point? It was a ‘stupid subject’ and ‘I wouldn’t do well anyway.’

As a result, I got further and further behind the whole class.

Naturally, I kept failing my monthly math tests, further

reinforcing the belief that ‘I was lousy at math’. Once again, this

added another leg to my table.

What further reinforced my belief was what my mum said

when I kept failing math. She told me not to worry as she herself

failed math when she was a student. There was nothing I could

do as I probably inherited her genes. That solidified my belief

and stopped me from even trying to work out any problems, or

studying for Math. Once again, my brain started adding another

leg of evidence to my belief!

The minute I was confronted with a tough problem, I would

just quit. Whenever the teacher taught a concept that was

confusing, I wouldn’t bother to figure it out. I had math tuition

alright – but daydreamed through all the tuition sessions. 

Sure enough, after sometime that belief that I was lousy at math

became absolutely real for me. I was firmly convinced that there

was no way I would ever understand maths, much less ever do

well in it.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 110

I AM LOUSY AT MATHS

Couldn’t

understand

multiplication Got answer

wrong in

class

Failed all

my math

tests My mother

said it’s her

genes

111 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

How I Started Collapsing this Limiting Belief

So, if we know that beliefs are nothing but limiting

generalizations that hold us back, then how do we collapse

them? How do we collapse the belief tables that have formed

within our minds? The answer is to remove the legs that hold

the table up! In other words, we must challenge the evidences

that support the limiting belief. Once you remove the legs, the

belief will collapse!

So how do we go about challenging the evidences that hold

our beliefs together? This was exactly what I did…

My life changed the moment I realized that being lousy in

math was nothing but a limiting belief. It was only ‘a fact’ to me

because I chose to believe it! I chose to generalize every

experience into supporting this belief! I began to go back and

challenge all the ‘supporting evidence’ that kept reinforcing my

belief. 

I realized that many of the evidence that support our beliefs

are nothing but our own interpretations of past experiences.

They could mean a million other things! Many of the supporting

evidence given by the people around us may also not even be

credible. 

The fact that I could not understand multiplication did not

mean that I was lousy in math. It could simply mean that it was

never taught to me in a way that I could understand. It could

mean that I was not paying attention. The fact that I failed all

my math tests may just mean that I did not bother to study, or

that I used the wrong strategy.

I also started to find counter examples to the evidence that

I had lousy math genes. How? Well, I began to realize that many

of my school friends who were good in math had parents who

had little education and were hawkers and bus drivers. Once I

started questioning all these evidences, the legs of my table

started being removed and this limiting belief fell apart! 

I then began to ask, ‘What would be a more empowering

belief to have?’ ‘What would be a powerful belief that would

drive me to do my best?’ I then came up with one ‘I am a math

genius!’.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 112

From Math Dunce to Math Genius 

– Starting with Just a New ‘Belief’ 

That new belief excited me. The trouble was that I had no

evidences or examples to support this new belief. So what did I

do? I began to create new evidences for myself.

In secondary one, I began to go back and start working on

math problems that I could handle at primary four (four grades

below). When I started to get the hang of it, I would then

proceed to primary five, slowly building up my foundation and

my confidence. When I started to solve problems, I began to

reinforce this new belief. Of course, I was still far behind many

of my classmates, but I was determined to catch up. 

Pretty soon, after lots of extra hours of drilling during my

school holidays, I was able to handle all the math problems that

most of my friends were studying. As I started to understand the

concepts and was able to solve more and more problems, I had

more and more references to support my new belief.

Got answer wrong in class

Fail all my math tests 

>>> Change meaning: I did

not study for it. I used the

wrong strategy.

Couldn’t understand

multiplication

>>>Change meaning:

It was not taught to

me in a way which I

could understand.

My mother said 

it’s her genes 

>>> Counter

example: Friends

who did well 

in math had

parents who didn’t

finish school.

113 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

What gave my new belief a super reinforcement was an

experience I had when I got into secondary three.

At that time, we were going to take a new subject that was

feared by everyone, Additional Math (A math). We were all

told that it was an extremely difficult math course and that

many people would fail it each year. 

When my friends went into the new class, they were already

sabotaging their minds by buying this idea implanted by our

seniors. Now, for some reason, I was the only one who decided

to read up on the first chapter of this ‘super difficult subject’ the

night before. 

Naturally, I didn’t understand everything I read, so I began

asking my seniors and got a pretty clear idea about what this

chapter on ‘linear functions’ was all about. The next day, as the

new math teacher started lecturing, the whole class got lost

somewhere in the middle of the abstract math. Because I had

read it up the night before, I was the only one who seemed to

know what the teacher was talking about. 

Then the teacher asked for a volunteer to solve one of the

problems on the board. Everyone looked at each other and

started shaking their heads. I got up, went to the board and

wrote out the workings to the problem. Everyone, including the

teacher, was astonished. From all his past classes, no one could

ever solve the abstract math problem on the first day. 

Because it was a brand new class and none of my new

classmates knew of my background, everyone looked at me like

I was some kind of genius. It felt really great and I started

enjoying this new identity of being a ‘math whiz’.

I started making a habit of reading ahead of the class, putting

in extra effort in all my assignments and tests. Pretty soon, with

all that hard work, I topped the whole class and went on to score

an A1 at the National O-level examinations. 

That one major experience finally shattered all my old

limiting beliefs and solidified my new belief that ‘Maths is easy’,

and that ‘I am a math genius’. It was this belief that made me opt

to major in Math at Junior college. I diligently kept up with my

math studies and I scored straight As in Further Math and

College Math, two math courses that every student feared and

dubbed ‘really tough’. That is the awesome power of a belief

change! 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 114

What Limiting Beliefs Do You Have?

So, think for a moment of all the beliefs that could have been

limiting your life all these years. What beliefs do you have that

could be preventing you from taking action and realizing your

full potential? 

What are the beliefs you have about learning? About

relationships? About money? About your own identity and

capabilities? About your career or your business?

I want you to take all the time you need and list down all the

limiting beliefs that you have in the different areas of your life.

a Limiting Beliefs about My Identity & Capability

Do you believe in one or more of these?

I am too young? Too old? Not a good speaker? Lazy? Not smart enough?

Lack experience? Not qualified enough? Unlucky? Not cut out for business?

Lack the drive? What do you believe that you can never achieve?

b Limiting Beliefs about Money

Do you believe that:

Money is the root of all evil? Money is difficult to earn? 

To become rich you must be greedy? Money will give you more problems?

115 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

c Limiting Beliefs about Relationships & People

Do you believe in one or more of these?

Marriages rarely have happy endings? All men are unfaithful? 

All women are unreasonable? People generally cannot be trusted?

d Limiting Beliefs about My Career or Business

Do you believe that:

The market is too saturated? Business is tough? It’s hard to make money 

in a recession? There are no opportunities out there? Something or 

someone stops me from getting promoted? I cannot increase my profits? 

I cannot expand my business? 

Have you listed down all your limiting beliefs? I want you to

know that in order for you to change the quality of your life, you

must first change these limiting beliefs. The difference between

the exceptional, the average and the below average lie in the

beliefs they have about themselves, and the people around

them. Are you ready to begin eliminating these limiting beliefs

and install empowering ones instead? Great! There are five

major steps to changing your limiting beliefs. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 116

How to Change AnyBelief

As you read through the following five steps, I want you to

participate actively in using the exercises to create the beliefs

changes that you desire. Out of the list of limiting beliefs you

have made, choose three major beliefs to work on first. Let’s get

started…

1 Find Enough Reason to Change the Belief

The first step to changing a belief is to first find a strong enough

reason to change. Many of us do not change because we are in a

situation where although we are not satisfied with the results we

are getting, yet it is not painful enough for us to want to change.

So we have to create enough reasons for ourselves to change. 

What is extremely powerful is to think of what this limiting

belief has cost us in our life and will continue to cost us in the

future. Remember that we are all driven by emotions and not by

logic. You can have all the logical reasons why you must change,

but you never will until you create the images in your mind and

feel strong enough emotions to want to change.

So, next to each of your limiting beliefs, I want you to think

and write down the price you have paid for holding on to these

beliefs. 

How have these beliefs cost you in the past? For example, if

you have a belief that you ‘don’t have enough experience’, it

may have prevented you from taking on a challenging and

rewarding project, earning a promotion, taking advantage of a

business opportunity etc.

How will these beliefs continue to limit you in the future?

I also want you to think, ‘If I continue to hold on to these

beliefs, how would they limit me in the future? What would they

prevent me from achieving?’ Keep writing down all the reasons

why you must change each of these beliefs until you reach an

internal breaking point where you feel emotionally strong

enough to want to make that change.

So grab a pen, and start working on ONE of your major

limiting beliefs now!

117 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

1.1 Limiting Belief:

1.2 How this belief has cost me in the past? 

What price have you paid for holding on to this limiting belief?

1.3 How could this belief cost you in the future? 

What would it prevent you from achieving?

2 Challenge the ‘Evidences’ that Support the Belief

The next step is to begin analyzing each of your limiting beliefs

and begin challenging all the so-called evidences that support it.

Remember, we need to remove the legs that hold your belief up.

You will find eventually that these evidences are nothing but

generalizations and misinterpretations you have made about past

experiences.

First, you must find the evidences that shore up your belief.

You can do so by asking the followings set of questions.

1) How did I first create this belief? 

2) What makes me believe that this true? 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 118

Next, challenge the evidences by asking 

1) ‘What else can this mean?’ 

2) ‘Is there a counter example?’ 

3) ‘How credible is this person giving me the belief?’

For example, I found out that my belief that ‘I was lousy in

math’ came from three evidences: my not be able to understand

multiplication sums, failing my math tests and my mum telling

me that it was in the genes. By analyzing these ‘evidences’, I

begin to change the meanings of these experiences. 

My not understanding multiplication could simply mean

that I was not taught in a way which I could understand, instead

of meaning that I was slow. My failing my math test could mean

that I did not pay attention in class and did not study for it, and

not because I am inherently lousy at math.

And my mum was certainly not a credible source to affirm

that I have no aptitude for math just because she hated the

subject. I then found many counter examples where I had friends

whose parents were not at all academically bright, but they were

brilliant.

So, let’s start doing the same thing for your limiting belief.

Do the next part of this exercise now!

2.1 How did I first create this belief? 

2.2 What are the evidences that support this limiting belief?

a

b

c

d

e

119 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

2.3 How can I challenge and break these evidences? What else could it

mean? Is there a counter example? How credible is this source?

a

b

c

d

e

3 Create a New Empowering Belief

Once you have shaken the foundations of the limiting belief,

you must then create a new empowering belief to replace the old

limiting one. What belief would be useful in empowering you to

take action?

For example, if the old belief was, ‘I am too young to start a

business’, the new belief can be ‘Youth means sharpness and

energy in business’ or ‘young people make better business people

because they are more flexible, more open to new ideas’.

If your limiting belief is, ‘I’m too old to start…’ look for all

the examples of those who changed careers at 40 or even 50 plus

and went onto become roaring successes. Or took up a daredevil

sport that even people half their age dare not attempt. And

install the new belief that ‘Maturity means sounder judgment,

more understanding, more wisdom.’ Write down your new

empowering belief now.

3.1 My New Empowering Belief:

4 Create New Evidences to Support this Belief

Once you have created a new belief, find new evidence to

support this new belief. ‘Were there times in the past when this

belief would have been true?’ For example, if you want to adopt

the belief that ‘I am a fast learner’, was there a time in the past

when you were very fast at learning a new skill?

‘Are there any examples you can see in other people?’ For

every belief you have, you can definitely find evidences to

support it. Look in books, go on the internet. 

For example, when I wanted to install the belief that ‘very

young people can start a business and become successful’, I did

considerable research and found that quite a number of highly

successful entrepreneurs started out, with no money, at a very

young age. 

If you cannot find any evidences at all, make it up! That’s

right. The mind cannot tell the difference between what is real

and what is clearly imagined. This was exactly what Roger

Banister did when he set out to break the world’s record in

distance running. Find and write down all the evidences you can

find that will support this new belief.

4.1 New Evidences to Support My New Belief

a

b

c

d

e

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 120

121 THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF BELIEFS

5 Future Pace and Associate All the Benefits of Having this 

New Belief

Finally, I want you to take some time and use the power of

visualization to install this new empowering belief. I want you to

close your eyes and bring yourself into the future. 

How would you behave differently with this new

empowering belief? What would you go for that you didn’t in the

past? What new decisions would you make differently? How

would you benefit from this new belief? Think about it a year

from now. Two years from now. Five years from now. Ten years

from now. Write down all the ways you will benefit from having

this new empowering belief.

5.1 By Adopting this New Belief, I will make the following new decisions

and take the following actions.

5.2 By Adopting this New Belief, I would Benefit in the following ways

So, anytime you want to change a limiting belief or assist

someone else in breaking free from their mental mindsets, refer

to these five major steps. Let’s move on to the secret of peak

performance…

Chapter Summary

1 Beliefs are what empower ordinary people to achieve

extraordinary things. 

2 At the same time, limiting beliefs are what keep most

people, despite all their resources, from achieving what they

really can.

3 Our beliefs determine what we expect from ourselves and

how much we get out of ourselves.

4 Our beliefs affect our biochemistry and physical well-being.

5 The human mind cannot tell the difference between a real

experience and a vividly imagined one. 

6 We can achieve peak performance through creative

visualization.

7 Beliefs are never absolutely true. They are opinions and

generalizations we form about ourselves, and the world

around us.

8 Whatever we choose to believe becomes true for us. 

9 We must adopt empowering beliefs and change those beliefs

that limit us.

10 Beliefs are first created from an idea that is reinforced by

evidences.

11 There are five steps to changing any belief

a Find enough reasons to change the belief

bChallenge the evidences that support it

c Create a new empowering belief

d Find new evidences to support this new belief

e Future pace and associate all the benefits of having this 

new belief

THE SECRET TO 

PEAK PERFORMANCE

6

Action is the Driving Force that Produces Results

A

re the most successful people the ones with the most

knowledge, the most intelligence or the most

academically brilliant? Of course not. If this were true,

then everyone with a PhD or from MENSA would be a

multimillionaire. The irony is that many people who do

extremely well academically usually end up working for those

who were average performers in school. 

Think about this. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey,

Steven Spielberg, Larry Ellison, Soichiro Honda and Richard

Branson all do not have a college degree. Yet they have built

billion dollar empires run by extremely well qualified managers

and professionals, many with Harvard MBAs. Why? Simply

because they were individuals who took massive action.

Action is the driving force that makes things happen. When

you take consistent action towards a specific outcome, you

definitely produce results. You either get the results you want

(success), or you get the results you don’t want (feedback).

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 124

By changing your strategy and consistently taking even more

action, you will eventually get the results that you want.

You see, knowledge, intelligence and capability are not

‘power’. They are only potential forms power. It is only when you

take action that these resources become powerful. 

Success is defined by how much action you take and not just

by how much knowledge and capability you have. Knowledge

can be learnt and capability can be acquired. But action is the

one resource that you have to unleash within yourself.

‘Ignorant’ Henry Ford was Smart Enough to Hire People

Smarter than He!

Henry Ford, the inventor of the automobile, was very often labeled an

‘ignorant man’ as he did not have much formal schooling. He did not

know much about accounting, engineering or literature. Despite this, 

Ford founded the Ford Motor Company, which today is a billion dollar

global business.

In actual fact, he did not have the necessary skills or talent to invent

anything. He was just a man who kept taking massive action backed by

an unshakeable belief that ‘nothing was impossible.’ His secret was this.

‘Hire people who are smarter than you and put them to work.’

That’s exactly what Ford did. He went out and hired the best brains 

to work for him. He then tasked them to invent the Ford-T, the first

automobile. When these scientists and engineers said it was impossible,

he said, ‘Do whatever it takes, and you will find a way’, ‘Don’t give me a

problem, find a solution.’ Eventually, with all his pushing, the first model

T was introduced to the world in 1908.

The same thing still holds true today. Many intelligent, well-educated people I know with MBAs and PhDs never accomplish

much because, although they may have the intelligence and

knowledge, they don’t take sufficient consistent action. 

On the other hand, there are many millionaires and business

owners I know who never went to university or dropped out of

college, and yet they have created phenomenal results, simply

because they kept taking action. Very often, it is because they

have nothing to lose… so they take lots of action to make up for it. 

Yes, unfortunately, while book knowledge and tertiary

education can be extremely valuable assets, too much of it can

become a liability. I have found that when people have excess

125 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

knowledge, they spend all their time over analyzing and

thinking of WHY ‘it cannot be done’, so much so that it

paralyses them and they end up never taking action.

When you are highly academically qualified, you tend to be

more risk averse. So you tend to take less action. I am not saying

that knowledge and education are not important. They are

extremely powerful resources. But taking massive action is the

key to unleashing your personal power. 

People who combine knowledge with massive action

become unstoppable in achieving any goal.

Emotion Drives Action

The most common reasons I hear are: ‘I lack motivation’, ‘I’m

too lazy’, ‘I don’t feel confident’ or ‘I am afraid that…’. Is this

true for you as well? If you are like most people, you would

probably be nodding your head. 

If you think about it, ‘motivation’, ‘fear’, ‘confidence’, ‘inertia

– expressed as procrastination’, are nothing but emotional states

we experience. 

You see, it is not primarily logic that drives our actions. It is

our emotions. Very often, we know that logically we should do

something, but we don’t do it because we don’t feel like doing it. 

For example, you know that you should start exercising three

times a week, but you put it off because you feel lazy. As a

salesperson, you know you should make ten cold calls a day, but

you don’t do it because you don’t feel like being rejected. You

know that public speaking will help your career, but you don’t

get on stage and face the audience because you feel the fear.

At the same time, there are many things we do, knowing full

well that we shouldn’t! But we still do it. Why? Because we feel

like doing it. For example, you know that eating that extra piece

of delicious chocolate cake is bad for your weight/health but you

still do it because you feel greedy. You know that you shouldn’t

go back to sleep when the alarm rings, but you still lie in because

it feels so good. 

It is truly our emotional ‘states’ that drive our actions and

behaviors all the time. How we feel truly determines what we do

and how we do it. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 126

Emotional ‘states’ like ‘excitement’, ‘passion’, ‘confidence’,

‘happiness’, ‘exhilaration’ get us to take action and perform at

our peak. 

At the same time, states like ‘fear’, ‘anxiety’, ‘stress’, ‘inertia’,

‘depression’, ‘tiredness’ hold us back. 

Have you ever experienced a day when you managed to get

a lot of things done? When your ideas flowed, when you made

the best decisions and you were absolutely on form? I am sure

you have. Well on those ‘top of form’ days, you were in a series

of resourceful states. 

Then again, have you had days when you couldn’t get

anything done? When you couldn’t do anything right? You said

and did the most stupid things? How could this happen? You

were the same person and had exactly the same resources

available to you. The difference was that you were not in a

resourceful state.

People who take consistent action and produce great results

do so because they experience many more resourceful states on

a daily basis. It is these empowering states that allow them to get

the best out of themselves. So what states do you experience on

a daily basis? 

Do you find yourself in empowering states frequently or are

you usually in an un-resourceful state? I want to you grab a pen

and take the time to do this next exercise.

A Checklist of Your States

In the space below, I want you to list the 10 most common

emotional states you experience on a daily basis. Think about it.

From the time you wake up in the morning to the time you

sleep, what are the states you experience most frequently? Be

completely honest with yourself and do it now. 

Top 10 Emotional States Experienced Daily

Example: How do you feel when you wake up? When you walk into the office?

When you meet your clients? In the middle of the day? When you arrive

home? When You are faced with a challenge? When you are faced with tough

deadlines? When things do not go your way?

127 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Have you done the exercise? If you haven’t, please go back

and do it! It is extremely important. Now, assuming you have a

list of your top ten states, I want you to put a tick next to those

states which you find are extremely resourceful. What are the

states that get you to take action and perform at your peak? Do

this now. 

Next, I want you to put a cross next to those states which

hold you back and stop you from taking action. Cross those

states that are un-resourceful for you. Do this now.

Look at your list again. Do you experience more empowering

states or more lousy states on a daily basis? This list is normally

an accurate reflection of how successful you are at producing the

results you want. 

I have found that people who are extremely productive and

successful have a lot more empowering states than lousy states.

Below is a typical list from a high achieving individual. This is

not to say that they do not experience ‘inertia’, ‘fear’, or

‘depression’. It’s just that they experience it far less frequently

and when they do, they are able to get out of these lousy states

much more quickly. They don’t wallow in their unproductive

‘state’. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 128

Top 10 Emotional States of a Successful Person

1 Motivation   2 Excitement 3 Passion

4 Energy 5 Confidence 6 Stress ✗

7 Anger ✗ 8 Worry ✗ 9 Happiness

10 Curiosity

On the other hand, take a look at the list of a typical

individual who is not as successful as he could be.

Top 10 Emotional States of a Typical Person

1 Frustrated ✗ 2 Fear ✗ 3 Laziness ✗

4 Procrastination✗ 5 Excitement 6 Anxiety ✗

7 Happiness 8 Tiredness and sleepiness ✗

9 Boredom ✗ 10 Depression ✗

Does this make sense? You may be the smartest and most

intelligent person in the world. But if you constantly experience

un-resourceful states like ‘fear’, ‘frustration, ‘inertia’ and

‘lethargy’, you simply cannot perform at your peak. This is what

happens to most people I see. 

Are You in Control Over Your States?

Let me ask you another important question. Are you in absolute

control over the states that you experience from moment to

moment? When you got depressed, did you tell yourself, ‘I think

I will feel depressed now!’ and get into that state? 

When you are in a state of confidence, did you direct

yourself to get into a confident state? Most people don’t

consciously direct their own states. Very often, they find

themselves just moving in and out of different states, and their

emotions affect how they feel and how they perform, without

them realising it. 

For example, have you ever been in a positive state and then

suddenly, during the day you feel lousy for no apparent reason?

129 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

Or you feel extremely motivated at first but after a while, you

lose your motivation and fail to follow through?

You see, if we don’t consciously manage our states, our brain

will run on auto-pilot and shift us into different states. Worse

still, after a while many of these states become habitual patterns,

which we keep experiencing over and over again. Like every

time we get out of bed, even after seven hours of sleep, we feel

sleepy and lethargic. 

Or the minute we step into the office and look at the work

piled up, we feel frustrated and overwhelmed. All these limiting

patterns have been programmed into our subconscious and

formed through our neuro-connections. That is why many

people feel that they are not in control over their emotions, and

their lives. 

At the same time, many people allow their states to be

controlled by external events. For example, when they close a

sale, they feel motivated and confident to do more. When they

experience failure, they get so frustrated and depressed that they

quit. 

When someone encourages them or when they attend a

motivational seminar, they get excited and motivated and take

action. When someone passes a negative comment, they get

upset. These people tend to operate from the ‘blame frame’ we

talked about in an earlier chapter. That is, when they feel lousy,

they blame something or someone else for getting them into

that lousy state. ‘He makes me so upset, I can’t get anything

done’ or ‘Because of what happened, I don’t feel confident

anymore’ or ‘My boss does not motivate me enough.’

Does this mean that successful individuals who experience

more empowering states do so because they experience more

positive events? 

Do they have less problems? Do they have people who

encourage them all the time? Do they achieve their goals often

and never fail? We know that is not true! They may experience

the same lousy events in their environments, but they are able

to remain in powerful states like motivation and confidence that

continue to drive them to take more action until they get the

desired result! 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 130

How? They are able to take charge and consciously direct

their states from moment to moment. Unsuccessful people, on

the other hand, find themselves constantly at the mercy of their

(bad) habits and their environment. 

So, you must start taking charge of your states and learn how

to get yourself constantly into resourceful states that allow you

to perform at your peak. The first thing you must understand is

that…

We Create Our Own Emotional States

At any point of time, you create your own states! If you are

feeling confident, then you are creating that confidence within

yourself. If you are feeling depressed, you are creating your own

depression. When you are motivated, you are creating that state

of empowerment. No one or nothing can affect or change your

state unless you choose to allow yourself to get into that state.

Is this really true? Well, think about this. Why is it that two

people can encounter the exact same event, but feel totally

different about it? One person may feel fear at having to speak

in front of a large audience, while the other feels totally relaxed. 

One person may feel totally motivated coming into the

office, while the other feels bored and tired. One person may feel

inspired and challenged when faced with an obstacle while

another person feels demoralized. So, you see, it is not what

happens on the outside that affects a person’s state, but what

happens on the inside. 

So how do we create our states? During the times when we

feel totally motivated, how do create that? When we are

depressed, how do we create that depressed feeling? 

How you feel at any moment in time is determined by two

things, 1) your Physiology and 2) your Internal Representation.

Your Physiology Affects Your State

The first thing that determines the state you are in is your

physiology. I define broadly physiology as the condition and use

of our physical body.

131 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

The condition of your body has a direct impact on how you

feel. Do you feel differently when your body is well rested and

physically vibrant? Of course. 

When your muscles are relaxed and your cells are bursting

with energy, you are most likely in a peak state. 

But if you have to get out of bed after a night of tossing and

turning with worry, or insufficient sleep, won’t you feel your

muscles aching and your joints stiff? And I bet you won’t be in a

very resourceful state at all. You will easily get into states like

tiredness, frustration and depression. This is why it is so

important your body is maintained in peak condition through

both proper diet and exercise. 

Highly successful individuals from Presidents to pop stars are

consistently able to be in peak states because they keep

themselves in peak physical condition through a comprehensive

exercise regime. 

US President George W. Bush runs an average of three miles

(within 8 minutes), four times a week, and also routinely cross-trains with swimming, free weights and an elliptical trainer. As

a result, his resting heart rate is 43 beats per minute, equivalent

to that of a professional athlete. In order to maintain her level

of energy both on and off stage, pop queen Madonna runs daily,

follows a strict routine of yoga and avoids all junk food. 

When you engage in daily aerobic activities like swimming,

running, cycling or even jumping on the trampoline, you

oxygenate your body more readily. Oxygen and nutrients will be

carried to and nourish your cells more effectively, giving you a

lot more energy! With your physical body in a peak condition,

you will find yourself being in peak emotional states as well. 

Know too that the way you use your physiology (Body)

equally affects your state. What do I mean by this? 

Well, if you were to be in a depressed state, what would your

physiology be like? Your posture would probably be slouched.

Your eyes would be downward looking. Your breathing would be

slow and shallow. Your facial muscles would be drooping and

your tone of voice low and soft, even barely audible. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 132

Now, what if you were in a state of total excitement? Your

physiology would be completely different, wouldn’t it? Your posture

and shoulders would be upright, your eyes would be wide open

and more focused, your breathing would be faster and deeper,

your facial muscles would be firm and your voice would be much

louder and you would speak in a higher pitch! 

You see, every state we experience has a specific physiology

associated with it. In other words, in order for us to create

depression, we must shift our physiology into a depressed one.

When we feel excited, we automatically have to shift our

physiology into an excited format. It is just that we are so used

to doing it, we don’t realize that we can actually control it. 

Can you feel depressed if you were to stay in an excited

physiology? Of course not! It is impossible because your brain

and body are neurologically linked. When you shift your

physiology, you automatically shift your mind and your state!

In the next section, we will explore how you can take 

immediate control over your states through consciously 

directing your physiology.

133 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

Your Internal Representation Affects Your State

The second thing that affects the state you are in is your internal

representation. Our internal representation is a fancy term

meaning How and What we think about.

It is how we internally represent what is going on around us

inside our mind. We may all experience the same external

event, but we represent it very differently in our minds.

Now, we all experience the external world through our five

senses. Right? We cannot consciously be aware of everything

that is happening around us because every second there are two

million bits of stimuli hitting our brain. In order for our brain to

cope, our minds filter all this information by deleting, distorting

and generalizing all this stimuli into an internal representation

of what is happening around us. 

In other words, what we perceive is not reality but an

internal re-presentation of reality. This is why two people can

encounter the same event, but represent it and feel very

differently about it in their minds. 

For example: Couple A on a European tour LOVED the

ambience of the old hotels, the high ceilings, the soft double

beds, even the rickety lift they thought charming.

Couple B, who COMPLAINED about everything, hated the

‘faded appearance’ of old hotels, they would have far preferred

the compactness and modernity of motel rooms with their twin

beds. See the same hotels and the difference in representations

or perceptions?

Values

External

Event

2 million bits of

information per second Beliefs

Delete

Distort

Generalize

Internal

Representation

Attitude

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 134

Some of the key filters that determine what we delete,

distort and generalize are our Beliefs, Values and Attitudes.

Because different people have different beliefs, values and

attitudes, they delete, distort and generalize things very

differently. As a result, all of us experience a very different

representation of the world. 

Some people have powerful beliefs, values and attitudes that

allow them to constantly represent things in a way that puts

them in an empowering state while others constantly represent

things in a way that puts them in a lousy, ineffective state.

So What is Our Internal Representation Made Up Of? 

How do we re-present things in our mind? We do so primarily by

seeing pictures (visual) and playing sounds (auditory). We also

tend to talk to ourselves through an internal voice (auditory

digital). 

What we picture in our minds, the sounds we play and what

we say to ourselves ALL affect the states we get (ourselves) into. 

Some people have a pattern of constantly representing

things in such a way that makes them feel depressed. Others do

the opposite.

For example, what happens when the alarm clock rings in

the morning? For some it automatically fires off an internal

voice that goes, ‘What time is it? Why must I wake up so early?

How much longer can I sleep? Give me five more minutes.’ They

135 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

then picture in their minds all the people and things they dislike

but will have to face during the day. What state do you think

this will trigger them into? Most probably a state of lethargy that

will get them to turn over and go back to sleep. And then be

really late for work… which will put them into a frantic state for

the entire day !

Have you ever wondered how some people can jump out of

bed feeling excited and energized every morning? 

Well, for one thing, they run a very different program in

their minds. Their internal representation is completely different.

The moment the alarm rings, they start playing a voice that goes

‘Wow! It’s morning. Time to get up! There are so many things to

do!’ And this internal voice is probably in a loud, enthusiastic

tone. They then create pictures of all the exciting things they

will be doing that day and how good they would feel getting it

done. This gets them to instantly jump out of bed, all energized. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 136

Does EverybodyExperience Failure, Rejection

and Obstacles? 

Of course we all do… from Royalty to the trash collector. Just

think of the many knocks the British royal family have had from

the ridicule Prince Charles has had to endure and overcome, the

loneliness Princess Diana felt so acutely, to the pain and rejection

Queen Elizabeth experienced when Diana died and the public

criticized what they perceived to be her ‘coldness’.

Again, how you represent happenings, incidents, other

people’s behavior in your mind will affect the state that you create

for yourself.

For some people, the moment they experience a setback, they

will create all the worst pictures & sounds in their mind! They

will keep re-playing the internal movie of themselves failing and

even picture themselves screwing up all future attempts. 

They will have an internal voice that goes, ‘Why does this

happen to me?’ ‘I always screw up!’ By representing the

experience this way, you put yourself in the worst possible state!

You will probably feel so frustrated, overwhelmed and scared that

you will stop taking action. 

Most successful people I know choose to represent their

setbacks in a way that keeps them in an empowering state. When

they experience a set-back, instead of painting a gloom and doom

scenario, they picture all the possibilities of turning the situation

around. 

They picture their final, successful outcome and also say to

themselves, ‘What can I learn from this set-back? How can I turn

this around?’ So they constantly find themselves confident and

motivated to keep taking action until they succeed. 

So which ‘mental program’ do you play daily? How do you

habitually re-present things in your mind? If you have been

playing a destructive program, then you must begin to change it

immediately. 

The moment you start consciously directing the pictures and

words in your head, you start getting control over your emotions

and actions! 

You will learn exactly how to do this in the next chapter on

‘Directing your Brain for Optimum Results!’

137 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

How We Create Procrastination & Motivation

Have you ever experienced the state of procrastination? Stupid

question? All of us have, at one time or another! Procrastination

is the number one killer of success. It is the single most common

state that keeps people from taking action. It’s when you know

that you should do something, but keep putting it off. 

Have you ever had to start on a project but kept doing

everything else that would delay you getting started? You

cleaned your desk, got a drink of water, checked your emails,

walked around and finally said, ‘I think I will do it tomorrow!’

Has there also been another time when you felt totally

motivated in getting started on a project? A time when you just

sat down and got it done immediately? Of course, the trouble is

that this situation rarely happens, and never when we need to

get something done. 

Again, I want you to understand how you create these two

states using your physiology and your internal representation.

When you understand this, you will find yourself being able to

change, interrupt and change states when you need to. 

When you were procrastinating, you were using your

physiology in a particular way. Your breathing was probably slow

and shallow. Your muscles were droopy, your eyes were looking

down and your facial muscles were probably flaccid. 

How do you think you were creating your internal

representation? You were probably seeing pictures of yourself

having a tough time, being overwhelmed and getting frustrated.

You were probably saying to yourself, ‘Must I do this now? Can I

do it later?’ In the most bored and weary tone of voice. And that

is why you don’t feel like starting on it at all.

On the other hand, when you were in a motivated state and

just got things done, how did you create that? 

Well, your physiology was probably completely different. You

were sitting differently, breathing differently and moving

differently. You were probably representing the task very

differently in your mind. You were seeing yourself getting results,

having fun and doing things effortlessly. You probably said to

yourself, ‘Do it now!’ ‘Let’s get it done!’ in a more excited, higher

pitched tone of voice. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 138

Again, remember, we hardly manage our states consciously.

We never consciously decide to shift our physiology and control

our internal representations to control our states. Instead, we let

our minds run on autopilot and in so doing sit back and lose

control of our own states and consequently results. Let’s now

begin to learn…

How to Take Charge of Your Physiology

Directing your physiology is one of the most powerful ways of

managing your states. 

In those times when you felt powerful, motivated and

confident, it was because the elements of your physiology were

in the right place. 

When you were feeling off-color and unenthusiastic, your

physiology was not in an optimum mode.

In the last section, we said that every state has a specific

physiology associated to it. For you to get depressed, your

physical body must be configured in a certain way. 

If we didn’t shift the elements of our body into a slack state,

our brain will not be able to access the state of depression. We

do it so often and subconsciously that many of us have become

experts at feeling down. Or even becoming really depressed,

haven’t we? 

Now, it is very important for you to not just understand this

intellectually, but to fully participate in the activities so you can

experience first-hand how directing and shifting your physiology

can make such a great impact on your state of mind.

Exercise 1 Get into a State of Feeling Really Bored and Tired

What I want you to do is to get into a state of feeling really bored

and tired. Sit the way you would be sitting if you felt totally

bored and tired. Now, I know this may sound a little strange, but

I want you to really give it your best. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10

being extremely bored, I want you to imagine that you are at a 10! 

Breathe the way you would if you felt totally bored. How

would you look? What would your facial expression be like?

Now, say to yourself what you would normally say if you were

totally bored and tired (say it in the exact same way!). Go ahead

and do this now.

139 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

How do you feel? Now, if you had really participated, you

would have felt a state change. You would have felt yourself

getting bored and tired. Now, what happened to your

physiology? What was your posture like? Where were your

shoulders? Where was your head position? What did you say to

yourself? How did you say it? How did you breathe? Now,

typically for most people, their physiology for bored and tired

would be what you see below.

This is your physiological recipe

for getting bored and tired! As you

can see, it takes a lot of effort to get

into a certain state. It’s just that you

have been doing it for so many years

you have become quite an expert at

slipping into this state.

Now, Snap Out of Boredom 

by Changing Your Physiology

Well, what will happen if you were to take someone who is in a

lousy state like this and totally change his physiology? Not

changing just one or two elements, but changing everything! 

Shoulders slouched forward

Eyes

Breathing 

Voice Tone 

Muscle tension

Facial expression  Mouth closed and narrow. Muscles droopy 

Relaxed. Tension in the neck 

Low volume. Low pitch 

Looking down, unfocused

Shallow and slow

Head hanging down 

Posture

Eyes

Breathing 

Voice Tone 

Muscle tension

Facial expression  Mouth closed, narrow, droopy 

Relaxed, tension in neck 

Low volume, low pitch, slow 

Looking down, defocused

Shallow and slow

Back slouched 

Mouth wider, tension in cheeks

Tension in hands & shoulders

Louder, faster, higher pitch

Looking up, eyes wide, focused

Faster and deeper

Body upright 

Shoulders slouched, head down Shoulders back, head up  Posture

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 140

If you were to massively change someone’s physiology, they

would immediately experience a change in state! You would

immediately feel more energized and expectant! I know this

sounds very simplistic, but this is how your body controls your

state of mind. 

How People Usually Manage their States

The notion of changing your physical body to change your states

is nothing new. All the gurus who teach yoga, meditation, qi

gong and tai chi are masters at changing the physical body to

effect a complete change of state… from a stressed, tense state

to one of complete relaxation and ‘stillness’. All this is of course

taught consciously and the health benefits are enormous.

But many people, unfortunately, use external stimuli to

change their physical bodies and their states, which is generally

not at all good for them in the long term. For example, people

use junk food, coffee, drugs, alcohol or cigarettes, all of which

alter their biochemistry and change how they feel temporarily.

(Unfortunately the negative effects of such addictive foods and

drugs on their physical body is long term.) 

Some people I know smoke to change their states, especially

to calm their nerves from stress and anxiety. Well, why does

smoking change your state? It is not so much the chemicals that

do the job. Rather, it is the fact that by inhaling, you are taking

deep slow breaths. And that is why you feel calmer and more

relaxed. Next time, save money, just puff deeply on a pen. I bet

you will get the same effects. 

A strategy some people use to change their states, which is

rather useful and beneficial, is to exercise. I am sure you have

experienced a time when you felt frustrated, depressed or

stressed. When you went out for a run or a game of tennis, what

happened? You immediately forgot you were depressed! That is

because exercising massively changes your entire physiology: the

brain cannot access the depressed state any more. 

But what happened when you stopped exercising? You

gradually got depressed again, didn’t you? However, this means

that you dohave the ability to shift completely out of negative

states in an instant, you just need to take control over it. And

141 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

you don’t need external devices to change your states, you can

do it by consciously taking charge of your physiology.

Exercise 2 Experiencing a Change in State

Now, I want you to experience how powerful a state change can

be. Get back into your bored and tired state by putting yourself

in a bored and tired physiology. The moment you feel that you’re

in this lousy state, I want you to clap your hands and change

your entire physiology! Get into the new physiology of energy

and excitement!

Test this out now!

Did you feel the state change? I am sure you did. This means

that anytime you need to get into a more resourceful state, you

can consciously change your physiology and your state will

change. The more you do this, the more natural it will become.

Now, unless you totally change your physiology, it is

impossible for you to change your state, In other words, if you

remain in a physiology of procrastination, it is not possible for

you to feel motivated! That is why I find it ironic when people

tell me that no matter what they do, they cannot seem to get

motivated. It is because they say it (unconsciously) with the

most bored physiology and tonality possible. First thing I say is,

‘Change your physiology! Move faster! Breathe faster! Speak

louder, faster and with more enthusiasm!’

Eyes

Breathing 

Voice Tone 

Muscle tension

Facial expression  Mouth closed, narrow, droopy 

Relaxed, tension in neck 

Low volume, low pitch, slow 

Looking down, defocused

Shallow and slow

Back slouched 

Mouth wider, tension in cheeks

Tension in hands & shoulders

Louder, faster, higher pitch

Looking up, eyes wide, focused

Faster and deeper

Body upright 

Shoulders slouched, head down Shoulders back, head up  Posture

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 142

Exercise 3  Get into the State of Being Totally Depressed

Let’s do this really simple experiment. I want you to get into the

physiology of being totally depressed. How would you sit if you

were totally depressed? Breathe the way you would breathe.

Have a look of total depression on your face. 

Now, without changing any part of your physiology, I want

you to try to feel happy. Remaining in a totally depressed

physiology, try to get into a happy state. Can you? No. It’s

impossible. This is so obvious that it sounds ridiculous. But in

reality, we complain of not being able to get motivated,

confident and relaxed when we keep putting our physiology in a

totally collapsed posture.

Please bear in mind that once you know how to manage your

states, it doesn’t mean that external events can never affect you.

It doesn’t mean that you will never get upset or lazy anymore! I

still have my fair share of lazy states that I get into. The only

difference is that now you can choose to be in control and begin

to shift yourself into a more resourceful state, as and when you

need to bring out the best out in yourself. 

Direct Yourself into Peak States 

for Peak Performance

One of the most powerful ways I have used this is in the area of

public speaking. As a motivational speaker, I am expected to be

in a peak state every time I step on stage. It is only when I am in

a peak state of confidence and power that I can get my seminars

across in the most dynamic way. And it is the only way I can

elicit those same powerful states from the participants.

The challenge is that I am on stage virtually every single

day. Many people have often asked me, ‘Where do you get your

energy? How do you get so confident and motivated all the time?’ 

The only reason I am able to constantly get myself into state

on stage is because I totally take charge of my entire physiology.

I can assure you that there have been many times when I was in

a totally different state just before I got on stage. 

There have been many times when I felt nervous, worried

and even upset because of external events. But just before I get

on stage, I would get myself into a physiology of total confidence

143 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

and motivation! I would remember how I would stand, how I

would move, the tone of voice I would use, the expression on my

face and the tension in my muscles. I would then adopt that very

same physiology and wham! I would stride up there and perform

at my peak!

Multi-Tasking and Peak Physiology

The only way I managed to write all my five books, juggling

writing with a hectic work schedule, was through using this

technique as well. The biggest challenge about writing a book is

that after the first chapter, you inevitably lose the initial

excitement, get stuck with ideas and feel overwhelmed. 

This is what causes most authors to procrastinate and

eventually give up. Either that or they take years to write a book.

It’s not that they lack the ideas or the time, they just have to

wait to get into a motivated and creative state before they can

write easily. 

As for me, I couldn’t give myself the luxury of waiting for the

creative juices to start flowing naturally. If I did, this book would

never have been completed and published. I would never have

met my target of writing two books in one year, while running

three companies and being on stage speaking nearly everyday. 

Whenever I scheduled the time to write a chapter, I would

put myself into a state of total motivation and creativity. I would

get into this state by mimicking the physiology I was in, in the

recent past, when I was in a peak state. The minute I got into

state, I would write non-stop for hours, and the words would just

flow. This was especially useful when I had to begin writing at 

1 am after finishing a hectic training and work schedule during

the day.

Fake it Till You Make it!

Have you ever wanted to be absolutely confident in certain

situations when you were feeling unsure? Would it be

empowering for you to get into a state of being totally motivated

instead of feeling the usual lethargy?

Or how about changing your fear of going on stage to feeling

enthusiastic and relaxed when you have to face an audience? 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 144

How much would it change the results you are able to

produce in life? Well you can! All you have to do is to put

yourself in that physiology of excellence!

If you want to feel confident, all you have to do is to adopt

the total physiology of confidence. If you want to feel motivated,

adopt the physiology of motivation. 

This is called the ‘Act as if…’ principle.If you want to feel

a certain state, act as if you were already in that state.

Remember that confidence, motivation and excitement are

nothing but emotional states that you have experienced in the

past. If you could access these states in a past situation, those

same resources are available to you now! All you have to do is to

model the exact same physiology you were in when you

experienced it previously.

Getting Yourself into a State of Confidence

Imagine that you are going to make a presentation, which you

have prepared for but, as usual, you don’t feel confident at all.

And it has been this lack of confidence that has affected your

performance in the past. How do you get yourself into a

confident state?

If you think about it, I am sure there has been a time in the

past when you felt totally confident. There was definitely a time

you were able to access a state of total confidence.

Think of the last time when you felt really confident doing

something you were good at. 

Go back to that time and adopt the same physiology you

were in. Stand the way you were standing. Breathe the way you

were breathing. Have the same tension in your face, arms and

hands. Have the same focus in your eyes. Now, say to yourself

what you would normally say when you are feeling totally

confident. Use the exact same tone and volume!

If you had followed this exercise conscientiously, do you now

feel that confident state? I bet you do! As long as you have

accessed a particular state in the past, your mind and body can

re-create it by accessing the past resources. This is what is

known as modeling the physiology of excellence!

145 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

Steps to Modeling Your Physiology of Excellence

Whenever you need to feel particularly motivated, confident

and even happy, you don’t have to depend on something

external to put you in that state. As long as you have

experienced this resourceful state in the past, you can tap into it

nowby modeling the physiology you were in then! 

There are six steps you must take to access any resourceful

state. Let’s say you have to take on a challenge and you want to

put yourself into an absolutely confident state in order to

perform at your peak.

By modeling the exact same physiology your body was in

previously, you will be able to feel the CONFIDENCE surging

through your Body, readying you to take on any Challenge!

In the next chapter, you will learn how to enhance the impact and

intensity of your state even further by directing your internal

representation at the same time.

STEP 1

Think of a time in 

the past when you 

felt totally Confident

STEP 2

Stand the way you

would stand if you felt

totally Confident

STEP 3

Breathe the way 

you would breathe 

if you felt totally

Confident

STEP 4

Have the facial expression,

focus in your eyes when 

you felt totally Confident

STEP 5

Gesture the way you would 

if you felt totally Confident

STEP 6

Say what you would 

say to yourself if you felt

totally Confident.

(Use the same volume, 

tone and pitch of voice)

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 146

How Sports People Use the Physiology 

of Confidence to Win

This technique is especially powerful in the area of competitive

sports. At the highest level of competition, where sports people

beat each other by mere milliseconds, points or strokes, it is not

the level of capability that gives them the edge. 

At that standard of competition, all of them have the

potential and capability of winning. What sets them apart on

competition day is the state in which their mind and body is in.

Aren’t there days when you can hit perfect golf shots or connect

with the tennis ball each time? On those days, you happened to

be in that peak state. But on some days, despite having the same

mental and physical capabilities, you kept missing the ball or

tripping over yourself.

How Agassi Regained His Confidence

At one time, Andre Agassiwas invincible on the tennis courts. The

world’s number one tennis player would be in a state of total focus and

confidence each time he faced his opponent. As a result, he performed

at a standard that gave him the winning edge. Then he started to go into

a slump. For some reason, he lost his focus and couldn’t get into the

right state. He kept missing the ball and making the wrong moves. He

consulted peak performance coach Anthony Robbins who explained to

Agassi that the reason he was not winning his games was because he

was not in the same resourceful states he was in, in the past. 

Robbins got Agassi to watch videotapes of the matches in which he won

and Agassi started noticing that in those instances, his physiology was

different compared to the way he presently carried himself on the

courts. In the past, his posture was different, the focus in his eyes was

different, his breathing pattern was different and he moved differently.

So Robbins instructed him to watch and model the physiology he had in

the past. In the next few matches, Agassi would go in and consciously

adopt the exact same physiology he had in the past. He started getting

into his peak state and played the winning way he used to. As a result, 

he won the US Open within six months & regained his ranking as the

world number one.

147 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

The Mind-Body Connection

What psychologists and medical practitioners now know is that

the mind and body are more neurologically linked than we ever

thought before. As a result, your internal representation and

physiology are in a cybernetic loop. 

What this means is that when you change one, the other

would change as well. If you had an internal representation of

depression (you thought of something totally depressive), your

body would shift into a depressive physiology. This is pretty

obvious. At the same time, changing your physiology affects the

way your mind represents things internally. 

For example, if you put yourself into a depressed physiology,

then I guarantee that you will start perceiving things in a ‘can’t

be done, too hard’ fashion. You may look at a particular

challenge, and feel totally overwhelmed by it. 

But when you are in a physiology of power, you start to

perceive similar events very differently. Looking at the same

challenge, you will start to see it in a much more positive light.

You will start focusing on what is possible and start thinking

about solutions instead of putting obstacles in front of you.

Internal

Re-presentation

State

Physiology

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 148

Exercise 4 Think of a Challenge You are Faced With

I want you to think of a particular challenge or task that you are

faced with in your life, right now. A challenge which you feel

overwhelmed by, like you are not sure whether you can tackle it

or not. As you think about this challenge, notice the physiology

your body is in. Notice the state that you are experiencing at

this very moment.

Now, I want you to stand up and put yourself into a

physiology of Absolute Confidence. 

How would your physiology be if you felt unstoppable? 

Stand the way you would stand if you felt totally confident.

Breathe the way you would breathe and put an expression 

of confidence on your face. 

Put a look of focus, intensity, alertness into your eyes. 

Now, while remaining in this physiology, I want you to think

of that same challenge or task, but this time staying in this

physiology of power.

As you think of the challenge now, do you perceive it

differently? Does it feel like you could take it on a lot more

easily? For most people, the answer would be yes! In a powerful

physiology, your brain starts to re-present the issue in a much

more empowering way, thus getting you into a more resourceful

state to take action.

Replicating Another Person’s Winning Physiology

Have you have ever been in a situation where you felt

overwhelmed? The challenge or task seemed so daunting? And

that feeling of being swamped, of being overcome by fear (of

failure) made you keep putting it off? I am sure you have

encountered such situations. But didn’t you eventually manage

to get the task completed?

Now, what was the difference? You were the same person,

with the same resources available to you. The difference was

that in one situation, you happened to be in a resourceful state

because of your physiology, and when you represented the task,

you felt more empowered to do it.

149 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

What do you think would happen if you were to model

another person’s physiology exactly? You will experience the

same state that person is experiencing. Why? Because when you

replicate another person’s exact body language, you are sending

the same neurological signals to your nervous system (as had

happened to him). And this would fire off the same neuro-physiological state in you. 

What is truly amazing is that if you were to replicate that

person’s physiology exactly, you could even fire off the same

internal representation of that person in your brain. In other

words, if that person was thinking a particular thought, you

could experience those same thoughts as well! That is how

connected your brain and body truly is.

I know this is hard to believe, but I have seen this result many

times in the ‘Patterns of Excellence’ seminars that we conduct. 

In these seminars, we get the participants to break up into

groups of three. One person A would think of something (let’s

say his child) and get into the state and physiology associated

with it. 

Another person B would observe and copy person A’s exact

physiology. The third person C coaches B to make sure that he

is almost exact in replicating A’s body language. When they are

done, C then asks B what state he is in. In 100% of the time, B

would experience the same state that A was experiencing (for

example, a feeling of love). 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 150

In about 20% of the time, they even see the same pictures

that A sees, in their minds! I had a woman A imagine herself on

the beach feeling extremely relaxed. When her partner B

modeled her physiology, she (B) said that images of the sea and

sand kept firing off in her mind (B was not told what A was

thinking at all). 

In other words, by modeling someone’s physiology exactly,

you not only tap into their states, you can even tap into the way

they are representing their experiences in their minds.

From a neuro-physical standpoint, the motor cortex that is

functionally similar in all our brains fires in the same manner.

What could result is our being able to fire off similar

neurological patterns, thereby resulting in such a phenomenon. 

I encourage you to test this out with two of your friends. You

will be truly amazed at the results you experience. 

How can you use this knowledge to help yourself to produce

exceptional results? Let’s find out…

Model Successful People’s Physiology 

of Excellence

In the first chapter, we said that the fundamental principle is

that we all have the same neurology. That, if it is possible for

others, it is possible for you! It is only a question of strategy. In

other words, by modeling someone’s strategy, you can replicate

the results they produce. 

Well, what do we model about a person specifically?

Remember that one of the key things that drive a person’s

behavior is the states that they experience. 

People are successful primarily because they are in

resourceful states. People perform the way they do because of the

states they experience. 

For example, if you want to model a powerful public speaker,

it would be best to model that person’s state. So you too will feel

the same level of confidence and power and will be able to

express yourself in an equally dynamic way. 

If you want to model a very effective salesperson you know,

you have to model that person’s state of confidence and

charisma – both these winning states that enable him to wow

and persuade his clients.

151 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

The way to do this is to model their physiology! In other

words, if you model the physiology of a person who is excellent

in something, you would immediately tap into that person’s

powerful state. Not only that, but done effectively, you could

even tap into that person’s internal representation!

So how do you do this? 

Well, first identify a person who is excellent in a particular

skill or behavior that you want to exhibit. For example, this

person could be a dynamic public speaker, salesperson, decision

maker or communicator. 

Next, observe keenly, how this person speaks (their tone of

voice), how this person moves, their facial expression, the way

this person breathes, the focus of their eyes and their gestures. 

What you then do is to imagine that you step into the body

of this person. Yes! You imagine that you become this person! So

the next time you have to go on stage to deliver a speech, you

model that person’s physiology exactly! You speak the way they

speak, move the way they move, adopt the same body postures

and gestures. If you do this you would access the same powerful

states that person experiences as well as produce the same

behavioral results!

Play Acting that Kids Do is Early Modeling

In fact, we used to do this when we were kids. We called this

play-acting. And this is how children learn to form their personal

behaviors, (for good or bad) by observing and unconsciously

modeling the adults around them. 

When you were a kid, didn’t you pretend to be an action star

or a movie star? Did you ever imagine yourself to be Superman,

Wonder Woman, Rambo or James Bond? 

You imagined that you were one or more of them and started

acting like them, using their ‘props’ (imaginary weapons), even

going so far as to dress like them? 

What we don’t realize is that we were modeling patterns of

excellence (or otherwise!) in people whom we admired.

Unfortunately, we were told that it was childish and that we

were being silly. Hence one of the most natural powerful skills of

our early learning never continue to be developed and utilized in

adult life.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 152

But today, using this technique allows me to hone and

accelerate my skills in virtually every area of my personal and

professional life. 

The Three Speakers I Modeled Myself After…

Until I Became Them

I used to have a fear of public speaking and was below average in

my ability to build rapport with and communicate my ideas to

an audience. 

Then I started to look out for and observe the most dynamic

speakers around. Out of the hundreds of speakers I watched, I

was most impressed by the charisma, dynamism and power that

speakers like Anthony Robbins, Richard Bandler (the co-developer of NLP) and Brad Sugars (a young, millionaire

entrepreneur from Australia) exhibited when they were on

stage.

I watched their videos intently and attended their live

seminars. I spent hours observing the way they spoke, the way

they moved and how they carried themselves. Then, I decided

to test it out. 

The next time I had the opportunity to give a speech, I

would imagine that I became these three great speakers and

started to model their exact physiology. I went on stage and

moved, gestured and spoke like them (interchanging styles,

depending on what I was saying). 

You know what? I felt totally powerful, charismatic and

dynamic on stage! I totally tapped into their states of excellence.

In a very short period of time, I started to produce fantastic

results in the way I connected and communicated with the

audience. 

This is how, by the age of 28, I became one of the most

sought after and highly paid speakers in the country. 

153 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

Modeling Others’ Excellence 

in Decision-Making and Rapport Building

I also modeled other people’s patterns of excellence in the area

of decision-making, sales and even personal relationships. 

I have a friend whom I truly admire for his ability to build

instant rapport with people. He is very charismatic and

influential. And women just melt before his charm. The fact is,

he is not even particularly good looking but how he charms

everyone to like him instantly.

Being a basically shy person who is not very good at mixing

around and breaking the ice with people I meet for the first time,

I thought that what this friend had would be a very powerful

skill to possess in the area of business networking. 

So here again, I started modeling the way he spoke, the way

he gestured, his mannerisms and the facial expressions he used.

Within a very short period of time, I started to feel an ease and

confidence networking with people I had met for the first time. 

I started to experience my effectiveness as a person who can

easily build rapport with and create instant relationships with

new acquaintances.

Now, do bear in mind that there are certain skills and

competencies that may not be that easily replicated by just

modeling a person’s physiology and states. 

In modeling someone else’s strategy, the modeling of

physiology and states is one of the most powerful in modeling

his/her performance and results. However, there are other

elements to be modeled, like that person’s beliefs and values

structure. At the same time, there is sometimes a need to model

that person’s core competencies, which go way beyond just

surface modeling of behavior. 

For example, if you were to observe and model Tiger Woods

exact physiology and tap into his resourceful states, would it

mean that you would be able to play golf as good as the world’s

number one in a short period of time? Most probably not,

because being in the right state may not be enough to generate

the same level of performance that Woods has developed

through years of rigorous physical training.

You may be able to replicate his state of focus and

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 154

confidence, but replicating his precise golf skills will take many

more hours of intensive training. This is not to say that with

enough desire, focus and training hours, it is not possible to

acquire the appropriate skills.

However, by modeling Tiger Woods’ physiology and hence

states, do you think your level of playing will improve? Yes!

Why? Because if you play golf or any other sport, you will realize

that a big part of your performance depends on the state of mind

you are in. 

You may have the capability to hit that ball straight or to

shoot that ball into the hole, but when you are not in the right

state, you will not be able to do it. 

I figured that if I could consciously direct myself into a super

resourceful state, I would definitely begin to play better and get

a better score. I decided to test this out personally. 

I used to manage an average score of 100, which is pretty

average for a non-regular golfer. Then I started to model Tiger

Woods’ physiology. I modeled the way he walked, the way he

addressed the ball, his gestures, his mannerisms and his swing (to

the best of my ability). As I got into his physiology, I could feel

myself being in a totally focused and confident state. Within

three months, I managed to reduce my golf score to 86!

Consciously Model Patterns of Excellence 

Rather than Patterns of Mediocrity

Some people I train acknowledge that the power of modeling is

impressive. Yet, they feel uncomfortable about ‘copying’ someone

else’s style. They say, ‘I am not comfortable with this as I feel like

I am not being myself. I am trying to be someone else instead’.

As a result, they deprive themselves of the power of modeling

excellence and producing exceptional results in a short time. 

Well, let me ask you a question. 

Think about the behaviors and physiology that you exhibit

right now. Where did they come from? Were you born with your

gestures, mannerisms, tone of voice and behaviors? No. You

behave the way you do now because ever since you were a kid,

you had been unconsciously modeling the behaviors and

physiologies of the people around you. 

155 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

Do you realize that the way you speak or react to things may

sometimes be similar to your parents or your close friends? 

And, the mannerism or gestures you exhibit could have

come from people whom you admired (for whatever reason), and

unconsciously adopted as your own. So, you have already been

modeling your whole life, this is nothing new. 

The problem is that in the past, you did not consciously

model people of excellence. As a result, you may have

unconsciously modeled a lot of ineffective behaviors and

negative states of the people around you. For example, if you are

a poor mixer or ineffective communicator, it is because you

(unconsciously) modeled poor speakers and communicators

when you were young.

If you are a poor decision maker and constantly find yourself

feeling anxious and lacking in confidence, it is because you have

unknowingly adopted the patterns from your friends or family. 

Haven’t you ever behaved in a certain way and suddenly

realized, ‘Oh my gosh! I’ve become my mother or father!’

So, isn’t it time you start to consciously delete ineffective

models of the past and start modeling and adopting patterns of

people who exhibit excellence instead? 

Another point to understand is that modeling is not just

about copying. It is about replicating and then improving on

what you have modeled, or modifying it to suit your personal

style. 

For example, if you were a woman and you were to model the

physiology of a male speaker exactly, it may not turn out that

well. You may have to modify elements of that person’s

physiology to suit your personality. Again, by modeling the best

patterns of those three great speakers I spoke about earlier, I now

exhibit patterns of all three in the way I speak. I have taken the

best patterns, combined them and adapted them to make them

my own. That is what modeling physiology is all about.

The science of modeling extends to other areas that we will

explore in future chapters.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 156

Exercise 5 Think! Who Can You Model?

So, I want you to think. Who can you model in the different

areas of your life? Who are some effective role models that you

can begin to observe and model their physiology?

1 Communication

Who do know who is an excellent communicator? Someone who builds

rapport with people easily and is very charismatic and persuasive?

2 Decision Making

Think of someone who makes decisions confidently and effectively.

3 Your Career

Who is a person you can model who is excellent in your chosen profession 

or business? An excellent teacher? An excellent salesperson? A great deal

maker? A terrific speaker?

4 Confidence

Who do you know exudes a lot of confidence and power and commands a lot

of respect?

157 THE SECRET TO PEAK PERFORMANCE

5 Motivation

Who can you model in the area of motivation? Who is always bubbling with

enthusiasm, always energized, no matter how negative everyone else around is?

6 Attractiveness

Who do you find is able to exude lots of genuine charm and attracts 

both sexes?

Once you have identified these models of excellence, test

the effectiveness of this technique by going through the

following steps:

STEP 1 Observe how this person moves, breathes, gestures,

behaves. Observe this person’s facial expressions,

postures & tone of voice.

STEP 2 Rehearse mentally. Imagine in your mind what it would

be like to be this person. How would you react to the

things around you? How would you move, breathe, act

and behave?

STEP 3 Physically do it. Imagine yourself being this model of

excellence and take on the physiology as you perform

the task or interact with other people. 

While directing our physiology is a great leverage for shifting

our states, let’s now shift our attention to learning how to direct

the other factor that affects our states, our internal representation! 

Chapter Summary

1 The emotional states we experience drive our

behavior & actions. Our actions in turn affect 

the results we produce.

2 Successful individuals experience more 

resourceful states on a day to day basis.

3 We create our own emotional states through 

our physiology & our internal representation.

4 All of us re-present things very differently in 

our mind. We need to consciously direct the

pictures and sounds we play in our mind in 

order to take charge of our states.

5 Taking charge of our physiology is a key way 

to managing our states.

6 We can tap into resourceful states at any 

time by modeling our own past physiologies 

or modeling people who exhibit excellence 

in a particular area.

Internal

Representation

State Action Result

Physiology

DIRECTING 

YOUR BRAIN FOR 

OPTIMUM RESULTS

7

Y

ou now know that the ‘state’ in which you are in at any

moment in time is determined by your physiology, and

your internal representation. You have also been taken

through a slew of strategies, each one designed to manage your

physiology in order to optimize your ‘state’. 

Now we will focus on the other half of the equation, i.e. on

how you can take charge of your internal representation. 

Remember that our internal representation is the way in

which we represent what is going on around us. It is a fancy

term meaning what we think about and how we think about

our ‘environment’. 

All of us represent our external experiences very differently.

This is why two people may encounter the same experience, like

a tough challenge, but perceive it very differently in their

respective minds. 

One person may represent it in a way that makes him feel

totally challenged and empowered. The other person may

represent it in a way that completely demoralizes him. When 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 160

we learn exactly how we represent things in our mind, we can

then start to direct it in a way that puts us in the most

resourceful and empowering states.

Recall that we represent our thoughts constantly through

pictures (visual), sounds (auditory) and feelings (kinesthetic),

all of which we generate internally in our minds. We also tend

to talk to ourselves through an internal voice (auditory digital). 

There are two major elements that we must learn to direct,

WHAT we focus on and HOW we focus on it.

What We Focus On Affects Our State

At any given second, there are two million bits of information

bombarding us. While it is impossible to consciously be aware of

everything, our mind tends to filter all this stimuli and focus on

a few chunks of information at a time. Similarly, when we think

of something in the past or something in the future, we tend to

focus on certain aspects of the experience. And to us what we

choose to focus on becomes most real in our minds.

I remember going to a stage play some time ago which, because of a

technical failure, started an hour late. However, when the curtain finally 

went up, it turned out to be one of the most entertaining and inspiring

performances I had ever experienced. Most people in the audience loved 

the show & raved about it when the curtain fell.

However, my friend, sitting right next to me, felt that he had had a horrible

experience. I couldn’t understand why? He said, ‘Well, it started so late that

it spoilt the entire show! And to make things worse, the people around us

were laughing so loudly, it was so annoying!’ I had hardly noticed the

laughter, in fact to me it was part of the atmosphere. But my friend chose 

to focus on everything about the show that was not working and to him 

the experience was most disappointing.

Some people have a pattern of focusing on pictures, sounds

and feelings that put them into un-resourceful states while

others generate pictures, sounds and feelings them put them into

resourceful states. 

How about you? What do you do when you meet with

161 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

failure? Some people keep playing mind pictures of themselves

screwing up. Some people even play it like a bad movie, over

and over again in their heads. 

They keep seeing themselves making the bad decisions,

experiencing the consequences and they re-play all the negative

voices around them. They may play the sound of their boss

shouting at them. Then they run an internal dialogue that goes

like this: ‘How could I have been so stupid!’ ‘Why do I always

screw things up?’ or ‘Oh, sh…t! I’m dead.’ 

What kind of state do you think they will be generating? Not

a very resourceful one, I bet!

So, what kind of pictures and sounds should one play to

produce a resourceful state?

Well, this is what positive people do when they encounter

failure. They choose to represent the failure as feedback that will

lead them into finding a solution. Instead of re-playing scenes of

the event or project that flopped, they focus on what they can

learn from it, and how they will do it the next time… to get

good results. 

They may even imagine themselves succeeding, using what

they have learnt from the past experience, and their success

would be accompanied by the sounds of people cheering or the

boss congratulating them. 

They may play an internal dialogue that goes something like

this: ‘I’ll make it the next time for sure’, ‘I’ll prove that I can turn

things around’. Or they’ll say reflectively: ‘Now, what can I learn

from this experience’. 

Obviously, such people will find themselves in more

resourceful states.

Our minds are never still or idle, throughout our waking

hours we play mental programs continuously. Now, start

becoming aware of the kind of mental program you usually run

when you are about to take on a challenging task. 

For example, just before making an important presentation,

or writing a difficult report, what goes on in your mind? 

Are you one of those who habitually focus on how difficult

it is going to be? Do you see yourself being overwhelmed and

stressed out. Do you mutter under your breath, ‘Oh no! How am

I ever going to do this?’ ‘What if I screw up?’ ‘It’s just too

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 162

difficult!’ You may even picture yourself screwing up or giving

up. As a result you get into a state of nervous anxiety. 

But can you choose to represent the challenge very

differently in your mind? Of course! You could choose to focus

on how easy, fun and rewarding the challenge will be. Confident

people will picture themselves dealing with the task or project

effortlessly. They may even have an internal voice saying, ‘I am

finally getting this done! This is so rewarding!’ ‘I knew I could

do it.’

Now, given the same challenge, why do some people rise to

it while others feel apprehension? The interesting fact is that

most of us do not consciously decide what pictures, sounds and

feelings we are going to generate in our mind. 

Our mind seems to be on auto-pilot and, within seconds of

being faced with a challenge, it will subconsciously, create re-presentations. And the kinds of representations created are

dependent on past conditioning.

Isn’t this scary? It appears that we do not have much control

over our mind! This is why most people feel that their emotions

control them. 

If you want to have mastery over your mind and emotions,

then you must begin right away to control what you focus on!

Begin by paying full attention to the ‘program’ that is

running in your brain-mind. If you find that what you are

thinking of is not putting you in a resourceful state, then change

it! In short, consciously change WHAT you focus on! You may

keep slipping back, and each time you do, pull yourself up and

re-focus.

Of course, when you begin to consciously direct your mind,

ensure that you do not have a lot of external distractions. Find a

quiet corner, go for a walk by yourself. If you are sitting in the

middle of the lounge while the television is on full blast and

family members or friends are chattering away, you can’t even

begin to think straight – much less direct your mind to focus on

something specific. 

163 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

Direct What You Focus On!

There are three major situations that all of us face every day. It

is during these times that we must begin to control what we

focus on. Again what we focus on means what we picture in our

minds, what sounds we play, what we say to ourselves and what

feelings we generate internally.

SITUATION #1

When you encounter something difficult that stands in your way of

success.For example, you get retrenched, your client cancels a contract,

your best employee quits, or your product fails and you get a complaint.

What You Must Focus On…

Focus on solutions, what you can do to overcome it

Focus on possibilities or new opportunities

When you encounter challenges that get in your way of success, 

picture yourself using all the different strategies to overcome it. 

You can also picture yourself with new opportunities that come 

with the challenge. Some of the most empowering things you can 

say to yourself (internal dialogue) are…

‘How can I find a solution?’ or

‘How can I turn this around?’ or

‘How could I use this as an opportunity?’

Avoid Focusing On…

The problem or the difficulty it is causing you

Many people get stuck and paralyzed by problems because they 

keep picturing how difficult the problem is and how it is going to 

affect them. As the limiting pictures and sounds spin round and 

round in their head, they get more and more depressed and frustrated. 

They tend to say to themselves…

‘Why am I so unlucky?’

‘Why does this always happen to me?’

‘This is so unfair?’

‘Why must this happen?’

Remember that what we focus on determines what states we 

experience and ultimately what actions we take. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 164

If Your Flight Gets Cancelled, Start an Airline

Have you heard of Virgin Atlantic? It took on the likes of airline 

giant British Airways and won. Today Virgin Atlantic Airlines is 

one of the most profitable airline companies in the world. 

A

nd do you know the airline only got started because its founder,

Richard Branson, got stranded when he was on holiday and instead

of kicking his heels in helpless frustration like all the other holiday

makers, he lost no time in finding a solution that resulted in his creating 

a billion dollar new business. 

It all began when Richard and his wife were on Beef Island, one of the

islands in the Virgin Islands (no, that’s not how the airline got its name). 

The couple were supposed to fly back to Puerto Rico but their flight was

cancelled, leaving the Bransons and several hundred other holiday makers

stranded.

Instead of getting all frustrated and angry by focusing on the problem,

Branson started picturing solutions and possibilities. He asked himself a

very powerful question, ‘How can I find a solution, and even make money

out of this? Aha! Charter a plane to fly himself and his wife and all the

stranded passengers out. Branson lost no time in finding out that it would

cost him just $2000 to charter a plane. Picture the mental images that

must have raced through his head as he quickly divided the $2,000 price 

by the number of seats in the aircraft. 

Next, he got hold of black board and wrote ‘Virgin Airways: $39 Single 

flight to Puerto Rico’. He walked around the airport and within minutes, 

he had sold all the seats on board. Not only did Branson find a way to 

get himself and his wife back to the capital city but he had found a way 

to get other people to pay for their trip! 

When they arrived at their destination, one passenger remarked, ‘Virgin

Airways isn’t too bad – smarten up the service a little and you will be in

business.’ It was in that moment that Virgin Atlantic Airlines was born… 

the rest is aviation history! 

165 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

SITUATION #2

When you don’t achieve your outcome. For example, failing to 

close a sale, missing a profit target, losing a competition, or not getting 

a promotion.

What You Must Focus On…

Focus on what you can learn from it

Focus on how you will be successful the next time

By doing this, you will continue to feel motivated and excited – and will 

keep taking action until you succeed!

Avoid Focusing On…

The experience of failure and how bad you feel about it

Internal dialogues like these are most unproductive

‘Oh no!’

‘How can I let this happen?’

‘Oh sh…t! I’m dead.’

‘Why do I always fail?’

The danger in focusing on the negative is that you will get yourself into 

such a miserable and self-pitying state that you give up trying.

The final major situation that you must learn to take control 

of is…

SITUATION #3

When you are faced with a challenging task or project.For example,

writing a difficult report, giving a speech, starting a company, going for 

an interview or selling a product. All of us face daunting tasks everyday. 

It is when we tackle them head-on that we grow and start producing

results. And as we take on each successive challenge successfully, we will

start realizing our potential.

Again, how should you direct your mind to focus on such situations?

What You Must Focus On…

Focus on what it will be like to achieve it effortlessly

Focus on yourself having fun and getting the results

If you need to go up and give a speech, picture yourself doing a great job 

and having fun doing it. See yourself getting the response you want. 

What would it be like to hear the applause of the audience? Feel the 

excitement and motivation in doing it. Say to yourself or ask empowering 

questions like…

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 166

‘I can’t wait to do this! This is exciting!’

‘How can I be effective?

‘How can I have fun doing this?’

When you represent challenges to yourself this way, you put yourself 

into the best state to accomplish it!

Avoid Focusing On…

How tough and painful it can be 

How you may do something wrong or fail altogether

Many people, when faced with a challenge, will back away or 

procrastinate. These are some of the common things we say to ourselves 

that get us into an un-resourceful state.

‘Must I do this now?’

‘How can I ever get this done?’

‘Why must it be so difficult?’

‘What if I screw up?’ What if it does not work out?’

Directing How We Focus 

It is not just WHAT we think about that determines how we

feel, but also HOW we think about it. Has there been a time

when you thought about something you were really motivated to

do, like going shopping? Yet, on another occasion, you thought

about the same thing and were less motivated to go. Why? Well,

we said that the pictures, sounds and feelings that we generate

in our mind determines the state that we are in. However, the

intensity of our state is determined by HOW we generate the

pictures, sounds and feelings. What do I mean? Well, think

about something which you are motivated to do, say going

shopping or maybe eating your favourite ice cream.

As you think about it, I want you to close your eyes and

make a picture of it. See yourself enjoying that tasty ice cream

cone. Notice what else you see around you in this experience.

What sounds do you hear that is associated with this picture?

You could perhaps hear the slurping sounds you make when you

are eating the ice cream. What would you normally say to

yourself as you think of this? For example, you may say to

yourself, ‘Mmmm, yummy’. I want you to notice how motivated

you are about doing this right now. 

167 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

Next, I want you to make some changes to the picture you

are making of this experience. Take the picture in your mind and

make it twice as big. What happens to the intensity of the state? 

Does the feeling of motivation increase? Now, make the

picture brighter and bring it closer to you. What happens to the

intensity of the motivation? If it is a still picture, make it into a

movie, where everything is moving. 

Now, make whatever sounds you hear around you much

louder. Make the sounds close and stereo, so you hear it in both

ears. Do you feel a lot more motivated to eat that ice cream

cone? For most people, making these changes to the picture

(visual) and sound (auditory) elements of the experience will

significantly increase the intensity of their state.

At times when you felt extremely motivated or excited to do

something, it was because the pictures tended to be bigger,

closer, brighter and more dynamic. The sounds and internal

dialogue you generated were also probably louder and closer to you. 

Now, the reason why you didn’t feel so motivated at another

time was because the pictures and sounds you made were smaller

and further away.

We normally do not consciously direct the way we make up

the pictures, sounds and feelings in our mind. This is why we

have little control over how we feel. By shifting these elements,

we can immediately shift the intensity of any state we experience.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 168

These elements that we can shift are called our Submodalities.

Submodalities is a powerful concept that was developed by 

Dr. Richard Bandler, the co-developer of NLP. 

If you have ever watched a great movie, you will know that

what makes a movie truly outstanding is the director’s ability to

bring the audience through a series of intense emotional states

like excitement, fear, anticipation or romance. How does he

achieve this? He does it through manipulating the images and

sounds on the screen. The angles, speed, colour, focus,

brightness, volume, size and distance all affect the intensity of

the state that we experience. 

In order to get us intensely excited, the director will make

the images move fast and increase the volume and tempo of the

music. To capture the intensity of the emotions, he will zoom up

close to the faces of the characters and may even place the

audience in a first person perspective (we call this an associated

experience). 

Well, we do the same thing in our minds! For example, in

order to get highly motivated, our brain must generate the

pictures and sounds inside in a certain way. The trouble is that

most people have never learnt to consciously be the director of

their own mental movie. They allow their minds to run on

autopilot! As a result, they are not in control of what they feel

and how they feel it! Let’s see how you can become the director

of your own emotions by mastering…

Submodalities: The Keyboard to Your Brain 

If you think of your brain as the most powerful computer on

earth, then your submodalities are like the keyboard to your

computer. Through making changes on this keyboard, you can

shift yourself into any state and at whatever intensity. There are

three major categories of submodalities; we call these your

visual, auditory and kinesthetic submodalities. 

Let’s look at each of them now.

169 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

YOUR SUBMODALITIES

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated?

SmallLarge

Defocused Focused?

Dim  Bright?

Far away Closeup?

Framed or Panoramic?

Location of the Image?

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear?

Direction of Sound?

Mono or Stereo

Soft Loud?

Low pitch  High pitch?

Slow Fast?

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself?

Direction of Sound?

Mono or Stereo

Soft Loud?

Low pitch  High pitch?

Slow Fast?

KINESTHETIC

Where is the location of the Feeling?

What is the Shape?

What is the Size?

Still or Moving?

Direction of Movement?

LightHeavy?

Visual Submodalities 

is how our brain codes pictures 

Auditory Submodalities

is the way we code sounds and 

Kinesthetic Submodalities 

is the way we code internal feelings 

The way we code any experience 

affects the state and intensity of

that experience

Every time we think 

of something (internal 

representation), 

the pictures, sounds 

and feelings that 

we experience 

internally are always

coded in a certain way.

The way in which they

are coded are known 

as submodalities. 

For example, when we think of something that motivates us,

our visual submodalities are likely to be close, large, moving and

in color. Now, when we think of something we are not

motivated by, the pictures may be further away, smaller, in black

and white, and still. 

This internal coding is not the same for everybody. So you

must discover what your brain does to create a particular state

in you.

Disassociation & Association

One of the ways we code pictures is either in an associated or

disassociated manner. I want you to close your eyes for a moment

and think of a happy occasion in the past. It could be when you

were with a loved one on the beach, a celebration, or the time

you won an award etc. 

As you think of that experience, observe if the experience is

one where you are looking at yourself from a distance

(disassociated) or one where you are inside your own body

looking through your own eyes (associated).

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 170

171 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

I have noticed that about half the audience in my seminars

generate an associated experience while the other half have a

disassociated experience. Now, you know what kind of

experience YOU have depends on the way your brain has been

programmed.

So is it better to code our experiences in an associated or

disassociated way? What difference does it make to our state?

Let’s experiment and find out. Think back to that happy

occasion for a moment. 

If you were associated in that experience, I want you to

disassociate from it. Imagine yourself stepping out of your body and

pushing the image away so you see yourself and the people around

you from a distance. Notice how differently it makes you feel.

Now, if you were disassociated in that experience, I want you

to now get associated into it. Imagine yourself stepping into your

body and into the experience. So, you see the people and things

around you through your own eyes, and experience the sounds

all around you. Notice how different it makes you feel?

Well, what was the difference? If you are like most people,

you would have noticed that when you experience events

associated, the state is more intense! When you are

disassociated, the intensity of the state is much lower! The way

you code your experiences (associated or disassociated) can

make a difference to the states you are in and the results you

produce.

Formula for Being Depressed:

Associate to all

+

Disassociate from all 

Negative Experiences Positive Experiences

Do you know someone who is always depressed? They may

have had bad experiences a long time ago, but they still get upset

by these long past incidents? 

I had a female client who told me that her life was full of

misery. When she talked about her bad experiences, she started

crying and got very upset. I found out that she had a pattern of

associating into all her painful memories. So, even though these

incidents took place about five years ago, she still felt extremely

miserable whenever she thought about them. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 172

When I asked her to relate happy experiences in her life, she

thought for a while but couldn’t feel anything. She said, ‘I don’t

feel for those (happy) experiences anymore.’ Guess why? She

had a pattern of disassociating from all her happy experiences,

and associating into her negative ones! 

No wonder she felt depressed constantly. When I taught her

that she could consciously direct her mind to disassociate from

all her bad experiences and associate into all her happy

experiences, she began to take control over her emotions. The

change was quite rapid.

When she thought of her bad experiences and disassociated,

she started to feel the emotional intensity of the pain drop.

Then I got her to start thinking of all her happy experiences and

associating into them! Her face started glowing and she said she

felt a lot better about herself. Since then, she has consciously

been taking charge of the way her brain codes her experiences.

Do you know people who are the complete opposite? We call

them the happy-go-lucky ones. Such people could have had

some horrific experiences but they get over the bad patches very

fast. Soon they are into a positive state and have moved on in life.

At the same time these cheery people can think back to the

good things that happened to them, say five years ago, and feel

happy and excited, all over again. 

Why do they feel so differently about their good and bad

experiences from the negative bunch? Again, it is because of the

way the cheery people’s brains have coded their memories. They

tend to immediately disassociate from negative events they

experience. Although they learn from their mistakes, they don’t

feel emotionally drained thinking about it. 

At the same time, they tend to associate or plug into all their

happy positive experiences. So they keep feeling the positive

vibes of happy events, even after years have passed. 

This is one of the most important qualities to have in order

to be a successful entrepreneur, chief executive, politician,

investor or salesperson. Why? Because in order to succeed and

create great wealth or success, you are bound to make lots of

mistakes and fail a couple of times. And you must be able to

quickly learn the lessons, let go of the bad feelings and get

excited to make the next move!

173 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

Now, just think: if by merely knowing how to shift one’s

submodality (association/disassociation) we can have such a

positive impact on our state, what if we begin to take control

and shift all the submodalities that make up our experiences?

Wow! Do you see the boundless possibilities of directing our

own minds? 

How to Intensify Any State

Wouldn’t it be useful and empowering to be able to intensify

resourceful states like motivation, happiness, excitement,

confidence and power? Let’s find out just how you can do this by

simply shifting your submodalities.

First, I want you to think of a goal which you would like to

achieve, but are not yet highly motivated to attain. For example,

it could be starting your own company. 

Next, I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself in

the future, having achieved this goal. For example, you could see

yourself addressing your staff in your conference room, with you

at the head of the table.

As you hold this image in your mind, make a quick checklist

of the visual, auditory and kinesthetic submodalities of this

mental experience. 

Is it associated or disassociated? Is it a still picture or a

movie? Is the picture large or small? Are there any sounds you

hear? Are they loud or soft? Is it mono or stereo? What would

you say to yourself if you have achieved your goal? Is it loud or

soft? 

Take note of where this feeling of motivation is coming from

(location of feeling). Do you feel it in the chest, head or in the

stomach? 

What is the shape of the feeling? (all of us code feelings as

shapes)? Is this feeling light or heavy? Is there any movement?

Quickly, list down the submodalities of this goal in the checklist

below. Very importantly, ask yourself, on a scale of 1 to 10, how

intense is the motivation you felt as you stood at the head of

table? For example, it could be a 5 out of a 10 initially.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 174

LIST DOWN THE SUBMODALITIES OF YOUR GOAL

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated?

Still picture or a Movie?

SmallLarge?

Defocused Focused?

Dim  Bright?

Black & white or Color?

Far away Closeup?

Framed or Panoramic?

Location of the Image?

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear?

Direction of Sound?

Mono or Stereo?

Soft Loud?

Low pitch  High pitch?

Slow Fast?

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself?

Direction of Sound?

Mono or Stereo?

Soft Loud?

Low pitch  High pitch?

Slow Fast?

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location?

What is the Shape?

What is the Size? SmallLarge?

Still or Moving?

Direction of Movement?

LightHeavy?

Intensity on a scale of 1 to 10

175 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

As an example, your submodalities could be coded in the folllowiing way

SUBMODALITIES FOR YOUR GOAL (Sample)

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Disassociated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie

SmallLarge Medium

Defocused Focused? Defocused

Dim Bright? Dim

Black & white or Color? Color

Far away Closeup? Closeup

Framed or Panoramic? Framed

Location of the Image? Slightly off centre

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Roar of car engine

Direction of Sound? In front

Mono or Stereo Mono

Soft Loud? Medium

Low pitch  High pitch? Average

Slow Fast? Medium

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘I’m the boss!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear

Mono or Stereo Mono

Soft Loud? Medium

Low pitch  High pitch? Low pitch

Slow Fast? Medium

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location? In the chest

What is the Shape? Round

What is the Size? SmallLarge Size of a lemon

Still or Moving? Still

Direction of Movement? Nil

LightHeavy? Light

Intensity on a scale of 1 to 10 5

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 176

Isn’t it interesting to begin to discover how your brain is

coding the goals that you have in your mind? Now, I want you

to experiment with your mind by shifting the submodalities, one

at a time and notice how it changes the intensity of the

motivation. 

The objective of this exercise is to increase your level of

motivation to a 10! Why? So that thinking of this goal will drive

you to take action right now!

In general, shifting the submodalities from the left to the

rightof the checklist, will increase the intensity of the state. For

example, shifting from ‘black and white’ to ‘color’ or ‘dim’ to

‘bright’ generally increases the state. (There are exceptions,

however. For example, to get into a state of relaxation, shifting

from dim to bright may make you less relaxed. In this case, it

would be taking the opposite action.)

The other important thing to know is that for certain

submodalities, you can only switch it from one type to another.

For example, ‘disassociated’ OR ‘associated’ or ‘black and white

OR color’. These are called digital submodalities and are

indicated by the word ‘OR’. 

The other submodalities are analog. In other words, they can

be increased or decreased along a range. Like ‘dim bright’.

Even if the picture is already bright, you can make the feeling

more intense by making it brighter! Also, ‘close far’. Even if

the image is close, you can still make it closer! These

submodalities are indicated by the ‘ ’ notation. 

177 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

So, close your eyes, think of your goal, and change the

submodalities one by one. As you do it, notice how much it

increases the level of motivation. Start with the visual

submodalities, the auditory (including digital) and the kinesthetic.

For example, you can shift it as indicated below.

SHIFTING SUBMODALITIES TO INCREASE THE LEVEL OF MOTIVATION

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Disassociated Associated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie (remains the same)

SmallLarge? Medium Double the size

Defocused Focused? Defocused More Focused

Dim  Bright? Dim Brighter

Black & white or Color? Black & white Color

Far away Closeup? Close Bring it closer

Framed or Panoramic? Framed Panoramic

Location of the Image? Off centre Centralize it

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Roar of car engine

Direction of Sound? In front All around

Mono or Stereo? Mono Stereo

Soft Loud? Medium Increase louder

Low pitch  High pitch? Average

Slow Fast? Medium Make it faster

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘I’m the boss!’ ‘I’m the boss!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear All around

Mono or Stereo? Mono Stereo

Soft Loud? Medium Louder

Low pitch  High pitch? Low pitch (remains the same)

Slow Fast? Medium Faster

( ***Actually say it out loud to yourself!)

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location? In the chest (remains the same)

What is the Shape? Round (remains the same)

What is the Size? SmallLarge?Size of a lemon Size of a basketball

Still or Moving? Still Create movement

Direction of Movement? Nil Outwards

LightHeavy? Light Increase weight

Intensity on a scale of 1 to 10 59-10

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 178

Did the level of your motivation increase? How much did it

increase by? Most people who do this exercise will find

themselves feeling more and more motivated (up to a 10!) to

take action on this goal. 

Have you ever wondered why most people set goals, get

excited for awhile but never get motivated enough to take

consistent action to achieve it? It is because every time they

think about the goal, their submodalities are coded in such a way

that they are not motivated enough to take action. 

The mental image they create may be ‘far away’, ‘disassociated’,

‘still picture’ etc. As a result, they never create the level of

emotional intensity they need. 

Why are there some people who get and stay motivated to

achieve their goals? We often think that they are just more

focused and disciplined. The real reason is that when they think

of their goal, their minds code it in such a way that their

motivation is highly intense. It is these strong emotions that

drives them every day and night.

If you are like most people, and this includes myself, who do

not get highly motivated naturally, then you must learn to re-direct your submodalities to create the internal motivation that

you need!

179 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

What other states would be useful for you to be able to intensify?

Confidence towards achieving a challenge.

Happy experiences

Successful experiences

Motivation towards achieving a goal

What you will begin to notice is that changing submodalities

is not something new. Like changing physiology, all of us already

do it although we are not aware of it. Again, the trouble is that

many of us do it unconsciously and in ways that may not be at

all useful.

For example, some people have a pattern of unconsciously

getting themselves very motivated to overeat by shifting their

submodalities. 

Have you been guilty of this too? Have you ever thought of

eating ice cream when you know you should keep off the

calories? 

At first, the motivation to eat is controllable. Then, slowly

as you think more and more about it, you start imagining

yourself eating it (associated and movie), then you make the

picture closer and bigger. Then you imagine the sweet, cool

feeling in your mouth (kinesthetic), you hear the stirring music

(sound) and say to yourself really loudly, ‘Mmmmm Yummy!’

You do this until the motivation of eating is so intense that you

cannot stand it anymore. You jump up and rush out to get the

ice-cream!

It is this same level of motivation and compulsion that

highly successful people create towards achieving their personal

goals! Can you imagine if you could replicate this same

technique and use it on a goal you have, perhaps to start your

own business or get started on a challenging project? 

Wouldn’t that be really powerful? Well, top achievers do

this naturally with their minds. Now, you too can learn to

consciously intensify your motivation to achieve a goal, any

goal!

De-intensifying a Negative Experience

At the same time, you may also want to shift your submodalities

of a bad experience so that it reduces the intensity of a negative

state. 

For example, you may want to de-intensify the fear or

anxiety of meeting people, or going on stage. You can also

reduce the intensity of being depressed over a negative event.

When you feel tempted to over-eat or eat something that you

know is bad for you, you can do the opposite and shift the

picture away, thereby disassociating from it.

Let’s do an experiment together. 

Do you have an experience of failing or being depressed? Is

there an experience that still bothers you? What do some people

do to keep themselves locked into a negative state? 

Well, they unknowingly use their submodalities to play the

negative experience over and over again in their heads, blowing

it all out of proportion (increasing the size of the picture or the

volume of the sounds), hearing the same nagging voice and

reinforcing the bad feelings associated with the experience.

Now, let’s find out how successful people deal with bad

experiences. Well, they consciously shift their submodalities to

reduce the intensity of the bad experience. 

Now, as you think of a negative experience, take note of the

current submodalities you are going through, and the level of

intensity of your depression on a scale of 1 to 10.

SUBMODALITIES OF THE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE (Sample)

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Associated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie

SmallLarge? Large

Defocused Focused? Focused

Dim  Bright? Bright

Black & white or Color? Color

Far away Closeup? Closeup

Framed or Panoramic? Framed

Location of the Image? Slightly off center

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 180

181 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Person reprimanding you

Direction of Sound? In front

Mono or Stereo? Mono

Soft Loud? Loud

Low pitch  High pitch? Average

Slow Fast? Medium

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Oh no!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear

Mono or Stereo? Mono

Soft Loud? Medium

Low pitch  High pitch? Low pitch

Slow Fast? Medium

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location? In the chest

What is the Shape? Square

What is the Size? SmallLarge? Very big

Still or Moving? Moving

Direction of Movement? Downwards

LightHeavy? Heavy

Intensity on a scale of 1 to 10 8

Now, I want you to shift the submodalitiesone at a time and

notice how it decreases the level of intensity of your state. In

general, shift the submodalities from the right to the leftof the

checklist. For example, for the visual submodalities, shift it from

associated to disassociated, freeze the movie into a still picture,

make the image half the size, defocus it and change it from

‘color’ to ‘black and white’. 

Does the lousy feeling reduce significantly? It should. However,

some people could be wired differently, so it pays to test it out.

Next, work on the auditory submodalities. Take the sounds,

reduce the volume (loud to very soft), shift the direction of

sound from in front of you to the right of you. You could make

it extremely high pitched so it sounds squeaky and inaudible. 

What is happening to your state right now?

Finally, shift the location of the feeling from the chest

downwards to the stomach. Make the shape from a ‘square’ to a

‘triangle’, reduce the size to a peanut etc. What happens now?

This process is illustrated below.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 182

SHIFTING SUBMODALITIES TO DECREASE THE INTENSITY 

OF THE BAD EXPERIENCE

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Associated Disassociated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie Still picture

SmallLarge? Large Small

Defocused Focused? Focused Defocused

Dim  Bright? Bright Dim

Black & white or Color? Colour Black & white

Far away Closeup? Close Far away

Framed or Panoramic? Framed (remains the same)

Location of the Image? Centre Bottom rightcorner

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Person reprimanding you

Direction of Sound? In front From the right

Mono or Stereo? Mono (remains the same)

Soft Loud? Loud Soft

Low pitch  High pitch? Average Very high pitch

Slow Fast? Medium Very slow

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Oh no!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear Left ear

Mono or Stereo? Mono (remains the same)

Soft Loud? Medium Very soft

Low pitch  High pitch? Low pitch Very high pitch

Slow Fast? Medium Very slow

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location? In the chest Shift to stomach

What is the Shape? Square Triangle

What is the Size? Small Large? Very big Very small (peanut)

Still or Moving? Moving Still

Direction of Movement? Downwards (remains the same)

LightHeavy? Heavy Light

Intensity on a scale of 1 to 10 82

* Notice that there are certain submodalities that we did not shift 

(i.e. it remains the same). For example, since the visual image is

already ‘Framed’, it is already in a less intense mode. There is no

point shifting it to become ‘Panoramic’ where it will make the

depression more intense.

183 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

Identifying Your Drivers!

As you go through the experience of being able to take control

of your mind and shift the intensity of your state, you will notice

that shifting some of the submodalities had no effect. Shifting

some had little effect and shifting some others made a huge

difference! 

For some people, shifting the visual submodalities had the

biggest effect on the intensity. For others, shifting the visual

submodalities may have had no effect but shifting just the

kinesthetic submodalities made a huge impact!

Those submodalities which, when shifted, create the biggest

effect on your state are called your Drivers! For example, if by

changing from disassociated to associated caused your motivation

to jump from 2 to 8, then associated/disassociated is definitely a

driver for you! If changing the auditory submodality from soft to

loud, changed the intensity from 2 to 3, then it is not a good

driver for you!

I want you to go back and take note of which drivers worked

best for you! Drivers are extremely important. Once you know

what your drivers are, you can just shift those few drivers and

dramatically change the intensity of your state. 

In short, in order to increase or reduce the intensity of any

state, you just have to shift two or three of your main drivers!

Let me tell you how powerful this has been for me. I noticed that my 

drivers are associated/disassociated, near/far, volume of my internal voice

and size of the feeling. So when I am not that motivated to do something,

let’s say, write chapters of my new book, what do I do? I just shift my 

driver submodalities until my motivation reaches a 10! 

I think of myself writing my book and may notice that my level of motivation

is just a 4. Then I make the image associated, I bring the image very close, 

I say to myself, ‘Go for it!’ and I double the size of the feeling in my chest. 

In a few seconds, I feel really motivated to write and I start writing non-stop

for several hours.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 184

Mapping Across: 

Transferring Our Mental Blueprints

In the chapter on physiology, we said that every state we

experience has a specific physiology associated to it. Similarly,

our brain tends to code every state differently in our minds. 

When we feel motivated about something, it is because our

submodalities are arranged in a certain way. When we think of

the opposite state, like procrastination, the submodalities will be

arranged very differently. 

What happens if we take an event that we are procrastinating

about and change the submodalities into the submodalities of

motivation? We will immediately feel more motivated to do the

very thing we were procrastinating about. 

This process is called mapping across. We are basically finding

the recipe or mental blueprint of our minds to feel motivated.

When we take our ‘motivation recipe’ and put it into another

experience, we will start feeling motivated about doing it.

There are five major steps to this process:

Step 1  Elicit the submodalities of Procrastination.

Step 2 Elicit the submodalities of Motivation.

Step 3 Notice the differences. These are called the Drivers.

Step 4 Take the submodalities of Motivation and put it into 

the Procrastination experience.

Step 5 Test it out. 

Step 1. Elicit the Submodalities of Procrastination

First, think of something which you need to do, but are not

motivated to begin doing. For example, it could be cleaning the

house.

Close your eyes and make an image of what it would be like

to clean your house or finish a project. As you think of this

procrastination experience, make a checklist of the submodalities.

For example, your ‘mental recipe’ for procrastination could look

something like the sample checklist below. On the scale of 1 to

10, how motivated are you to clean your house? It could be a 2

out of a 10.

185 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

SUBMODALITIES OF PROCRASTINATION (e.g. Finishing a Project)

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Disassociated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie

Small Large? Small

Defocused Focused? Focused

Dim Bright? Dim

Black & white or Color? Black & white

Far away Closeup? Closeup

Framed or Panoramic? Framed

Location of the Image? Slightly off center

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Nil

Direction of Sound? Nil

Mono or Stereo? Nil

Soft Loud? Nil

Low pitch High pitch? Nil

Slow Fast? Nil

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Must I do this now?’

Direction of Sound? Right ear

Mono or Stereo? Mono

Soft Loud? Medium

Low pitch High pitch? Low pitch (very bored tone)

Slow Fast? Slow

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location? In the limbs

What is the Shape? Square

What is the Size? Small Large? Big

Still or Moving? Moving

Direction of Movement? Downwards

Light Heavy? Heavy

Intensity on a scale of 1 to 10 2

Step 2. Elicit the Submodalities of Motivation 

(e.g. Water Skiing)

Now, break your state and think of something you are highly

motivated to do. For example, it could be water skiing or

shopping for a new dress! Close your eyes and think of the

experience you are very motivated to do! On a scale of 1 to 10,

you are at a 9 or even 10! Make a checklist of the submodalities

of this motivated experience. An example is shown in the

checklist below.

SUBMODALITIES OF MOTIVATION

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Associated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie

Small Large? Larger

Defocused Focused? Focused

Dim Bright? Brighter

Black & white or Color? Color

Far away Closeup? Closeup

Framed or Panoramic? Panoramic

Location of the Image? Center

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 186

187 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Nil

Direction of Sound? Nil

Mono or Stereo? Nil

Soft Loud? Nil

Low pitch High pitch? Nil

Slow Fast? Nil

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Go for it!!!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear

Mono or Stereo? Mono

Soft Loud? Loud

Low pitch High pitch? High pitch (very excited tone)

Slow Fast? Fast

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location? In the chest

What is the Shape? Round

What is the Size? Small Large? Very big

Still or Moving? Moving

Direction of Movement? Upwards

Light Heavy? Light

Intensity on a scale of 1 to 10 9

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 188

Step 3. Notice the Differences. 

Now, take a look at the submodalities of the ‘procrastination

experience’ and compare it to the ‘motivation experience’.

Notice where the submodalities are different. In your mind, they

are what makes the difference in the way you code these two

experiences. Now, it is important to know that the coding

process is not the same for everybody. It is how your mind

distinguishes between something that motivates you and

something that does not. Please note that if you encounter

similar definitions e.g. both are described as ‘dim’, you should

check which of the two is brighter by comparison.

PROCRASTINATION MOTIVATION

(Finish Project) (Water Skiing)

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Disassociated Associated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie Movie

Small Large? Small Larger

Defocused Focused? Focused Focused

Dim Bright? Dim Brighter

Black & white or Color? Black & white Color

Far away Closeup? Closeup Even closer

Framed or Panoramic? Framed Panoramic

Location of the image? Slightly off center Center

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Nil Nil

Direction of Sound? Nil Nil

Mono or Stereo? Nil Nil

Soft Loud? Nil Nil

Low pitch High pitch? Nil Nil

Slow Fast? Nil Nil

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Must I do this now?’ ‘Go for it!!!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear Right ear

Mono or Stereo? Mono Mono

Soft Loud? Medium Loud

Low pitch High pitch?  Low pitch High pitch

(bored tone) (excited tone)

Slow Fast? Slow Faster

189 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location? In the limbs In the chest

What is the Shape? Square Round

What is the Size?  Big Very big

Still or Moving? Moving Moving

Direction of Movement? Downwards Upwards

Light Heavy? Heavy Light

Step 4. Take the Submodalities of Motivation 

and Put it into the Procrastination Experience

Now, here is where it gets really interesting. I want you to go

back and think of that experience you were not motivated to do

(i.e. cleaning your house). Now as you think about finishing your

project, I want you to shift the submodalities of this boring

experience to the submodalities of motivation!

As you think about finishing your project, change the

experience from ‘disassociated’ to ‘associated.’ Do you feel more

motivated to finish your project? Does the level of intensity

increase from 2? Now, make the movie larger and brighter like in

the motivated experience. Now, change it from ‘black and white’

to color, shift the image to the center and make it panoramic,

like in the motivated experience. How motivated do you feel

now?

Now, as you think about finishing your project, say to

yourself loudly, in a fast, very excited tone, ‘Go for it!’, the exact

same way as in the motivated experience. How motivated do you

feel now?

Procrastination

Experience

(Finish project)

Procrastination

Experience

(Finish project)

Motivated

Experience

(Go skiing)

Finally, shift the kinesthetic submodalities. Take the feeling

in your limbs and shift it to your chest. Make the sensation

round, larger and lighter like the size of the motivation

experience. Then create the upwards movement in the same

way! How motivated do you feel now? For most people, their

motivation to finish their project should have jumped from a 2

all the way to a 9 or a 10 by now. 

PROCRASTINATION

(Finish Project)

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Associated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie

Small Large? Larger

Defocused Focused? Focused

Dim Bright? Brighter

Black & white or Color? Color

Far away Closeup? Even closer

Framed or Panoramic? Panoramic

Location of the Image? Center

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Nil

Direction of Sound? Nil

Mono or Stereo? Nil

Soft Loud? Nil

Low pitch High pitch? Nil

Slow Fast? Nil

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Go for It!!!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear

Mono or Stereo? Mono

Soft Loud? Loud

Low pitch High pitch?  High pitch

(Excited tone)

Slow Fast? Faster

KINESTHETIC

Where is the Location? In the chest

What is the Shape? Round

What is the Size?  Very big

Still or Moving? Moving

Direction of Movement? Upwards

Light Heavy? Light

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 190

191 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

Step 5. Test it Out 

Notice how motivated you become as you think of the experience

of finishing your project with your ‘motivation blueprint’.

Mapping Across Love to Disgust

Anytime you want to feel differently about a particular

experience, just shift the submodalities of that experience into

the submodality structure of what you want to feel instead. Can

you do the opposite; i.e. shift being motivated to do something

into being not motivated to do it? Of course. This will be useful

if you are always motivated to spend money or to overeat. So you

can think of spending money and shift the submodalities into

that of procrastination. So when you think of spending money,

you will procrastinate instead. 

Another powerful application is to change how you feel

about foods which you love to eat, but are not particularly good

for you. Let’s see how this can work. Again, let’s go through the

five steps.

Step 1 Elicit the submodalities of a food you Love.

Step 2 Elicit the submodalities of a food you Hate.

Step 3 Notice the differences. These are called the Drivers.

Step 4 Take the submodalities of ‘Hate’ and put it into the 

‘Love’ experience.

Step 5 Test it out.

Step 1. Elicit the Submodalities of a Food You Love

I want you to think of something which you love to eat (or

drink), but is bad for you. Something that sends you drooling

immediately! For example, grilled beef steak. Now, close your

eyes and imagine that you are enjoying a piece of beef steak.

Make a checklist of the submodalities of this food that you

absolutely love! An example is shown below. Note that for this

case, there is a lot more focus on the kinesthetic submodality

since it involves food. We also focus on different aspects such as

the taste, texture and smell. Take note of how much you feel

like eating it right now, on a scale of 1 to 10. It should be at a

9 or a 10. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 192

193 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

SUBMOALITIES OF FOOD YOU LOVE (e.g. Beef Steak)

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Associated

Still picture or Movie? Movie

Small Large? Large

Defocused Focused? Focused

Dim Bright? Bright

Black & white or Color? Color (steak is juicy and dark)

Far away Closeup? Close

Framed or Panoramic? Panoramic

Location of the Image? Center

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Nil

Direction of Sound? Nil

Mono or Stereo? Nil

Soft Loud? Nil

Low pitch High pitch? Nil

Slow Fast? Nil

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Yummy!!!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear

Mono or Stereo? Stereo

Soft Loud? Medium

Low pitch High pitch? Low pitch 

Slow Fast? Slow

KINESTHETIC

What does it Taste like? Delicious & salty

What is the Texture? Tender, thick & juicy

What is the Smell like? Like Roast. Aromatic

What is the Temperature? Warm

Location of the Feeling? In the mouth

Step 2. Elicit the Submodalities of a Food You Hate

Now, think of a food which you absolutely hate. In fact, the more

disgusting it is to you, the better. Some people think of liver,

pig’s brains or kidney. I had one participant who loved all kinds

of food so I got him to think of eating fermented, decomposing

garbage. Just thinking about it made him feel like throwing up.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 194

Now, imagine that in front of you is this food that you

absolutely hate. Then, imagine that you are eating it and notice

the smell and taste of it. I know this is really tough, but do

whatever it takes to get the result. Now, make a checklist of the

submodalities. An example is shown below.

SUBMODALITIES OF FOOD YOU HATE (e.g. Liver)

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Associated

Still picture or a Movie? Movie

Small Large? Large

Defocused Focused? Focused

Dim Bright? Bright

Black & white or Color? Black & white

Far away Closeup? Further away

Framed or Panoramic? Framed

Location of the Image? Center

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Nil

Direction of Sound? Nil

Mono or Stereo? Nil

Soft Loud? Nil

Low pitch High pitch? Nil

Slow Fast? Nil

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Yuck!!!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear

Mono or Stereo? Stereo

Soft Loud? Loud

Low pitch High pitch? High pitch 

Slow Fast? Fast

KINESTHETIC

What does it Taste like? Raw & salty

What is the Texture? Slimy, gooey

What is the Smell like? Pungent

What is the Temperature? Cold & clammy

Location of the Feeling? On the tongue (feel like throwing up)

195 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

Step 3. Notice the Differences. These are Called ‘Drivers’

LOVE (STEAK) HATE (LIVER)

VISUAL

Disassociated or Associated? Associated Associated

Still picture or Movie? Movie Movie

Small Large? Large Large

Defocused Focused? Focused Focused

Dim Bright? Bright Bright

Black & white or Color? Colour Black & white

Far away Closeup? Close Further away

Framed or Panoramic? Panoramic Framed

Location of the Image? Center Center

AUDITORY

What sounds do you hear? Nil Nil

Direction of Sound? Nil Nil

Mono or Stereo? Nil Nil

Soft Loud? Nil Nil

Low pitch High pitch? Nil Nil

Slow Fast? Nil Nil

AUDITORY DIGITAL

What do you say to yourself? ‘Yummy!!!’ ‘Yuck!’

Direction of Sound? Right ear Right ear

Mono or Stereo? Stereo Stereo

Soft Loud? Medium Loud

Low pitch High pitch? Low pitch High pitch

Slow Fast? Slow Fast

KINESTHETIC

What does it taste like? Delicious & salty Raw & salty

What is the texture? Tender, thick & juicy Slimy & gooey

What is the smell like? Like Roast. Aromatic Pungent

What is the Temperature? Warm Cold & clammy

Location of the feeling? In the mouth On the tongue 

(feel like throwing up)

Step 4. Take the Submodalities of ‘Hate’ and Put it into the

‘Love’ Experience

Think of the food you love again and imagine eating it. Except,

use the ‘hate’ submodalities to structure the experience.

First, imagine yourself getting ready to eat the juicy piece of

steak. Take the image and change it to black and white. Now,

put a frame around the image and push it further away. Does the

intensity of the state decrease?

Now, imagine looking at the steak, and see it as the same

colour as the raw liver (brownish red). Smell it and notice that

it has a pungent smell. Now, put it in your mouth and chew it,

noticing that it is raw and salty; the texture is slimy and gooey;

and it tastes and feels exactly like liver. Then, say to yourself,

‘Yuck!’ in a loud, high pitched flat tone. Feel the sensation of

throwing up on your tongue as the raw steak-liver slides down

your throat.

At this point, just thinking of the steak should give you the

same disgusting state as the liver gave you. How do you now feel

about eating the steak?

Step 5. Test it Out

The purpose of this exercise is not to turn you off steak

permanently. It is to decrease and neutralize the craving

sensation for steak. So the next time you look at it, you will be

able to say no when you need to.

This technique has been extremely useful in helping many of

my participants gain control over their bad eating habits. In the

past, they had to discipline themselves not to eat, even as they

craved for high calorie foods. They felt so miserable that pretty

soon, they would quit the diet. However, by using this

technique, they changed the neurological associations that their

brains linked to these foods. So when they thought of the nice

juicy burger, they felt neutral or even put off. At the same time,

they conditioned their minds to love healthy foods. Many of

them have lost over 30lbs in six months without much effort 

at all.

Now, let’s explore more powerful strategies using

submodalities.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 196

197 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

The Distortion Technique: 

How to Remove an Intense Negative Experience

Sometimes, when a negative experience is too intense and

upsetting, just reducing the submodalities may not be enough to

neutralize the experience. In these cases, you must use the

‘Distortion technique’.

This is one of the most powerful techniques used to

neutralize an intense negative experience. I want you to think of

a bad experience in the recent past. One which still makes you

upset when you think about it. For example, it could be a boss or

a client treating you in an unreasonable way. Can you think of

one? Great! 

Now, I want you to close your eyes and play this lousy

experience as a movie in your mind. Play the movie until you

come to the end of the experience. Then, imagine pausing the

movie at the end. Notice, the intensity of the negative state you

may have at this time.

Now, I want you to play the movie in reverse, at three times

the normal speed. So, imagine you see everything moving in

reverse. You see people walking backwards, their words going

back into their mouths, sounds are also going in reverse. 

When you reach the beginning of the movie, play it forward

at three times the normal speed so the pictures and sounds are

going super fast, and everything becomes really comical. Keep

playing the movie backwards and forwards at this fast speed.

As you do this, I want you to change your internal

representation of this memory by distorting the visual and

auditory submodalities. Imagine that the people in the

experience are growing Mickey Mouse’s ears and their noses are

growing longer and longer like Pinocchio. 

You can also imagine your boss with a bra on his head and

his paunchy torso wrapped in a pink ballerina dress. Now, play

some funny music in the background so the people’s voices are

squeaky like the way a cartoon chipmunk speaks. Again, as you

do this, play the movie backwards and forwards rapidly, at least

five to eight times.

When you are finished, think of the lousy experience again.

How do you feel about it now? At this point, most people would

find it extremely difficult to access those miserable feelings. 

In fact, most people would start laughing when they think

about it. What has happened? Well, by changing the way our

mind has represented that past experience, we have changed the

state you have associated with it. The same experience now

triggers off a neutral or humorous state instead.

So, here is a summary of the steps to the Distortion technique

1 Think of a bad experience that is bothering you.

2 Play it as a movie until you come to the end of the experience. 

3 Play the movie backwards and forwards at three times the normal 

speed. Distort the submodalities (sounds and pictures) so it looks 

and sounds funny, even ridiculous.

4 Repeat this process 5-8 times.

5 Test. Think of that bad experience again. How does it feel it now?

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 198

199 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

The purpose of the distortion technique is not to deny that

you have a problem or mentally run away from one. The

purpose is to get yourself out of a lousy state and into a neutral

one where you can feel more empowered to make better

decisions. And then you will take action to deal with the

problem, thereby reaching your outcome.

An analogy I can give you is that of a jukebox. Our memories

are stored like compact discs (CDs) in our mind, some of our

CDs are of happy memories, while others are of sad ones.

Whenever someone hits a particular button, we start playing

that CD in our mind and get into a certain state.

For example, the moment you see your boss’s face, it triggers

your mind to play your mental CD of that bad memory. So, you

keep feeling more and more frustrated. What the distortion

technique does is this: by playing the movie fast backwards and

forwards and distorting the submodalities, you are in effect

taking the CD and scratching it over and over again. 

If you do it enough times, the CD will never play the same

way again. That bad memory will never bother you again! You

can use this anytime a past event holds you back emotionally!

The Swish Pattern: 

How to Change a Lifelong Habit Now

Do you have a limiting habit that you would like to change? It

is generally believed that changing a bad habit takes months or

even years. This is an extremely limiting belief. In fact, if you

think about it, change almost always happens in an instant. 

When someone stops smoking, that change of behavior

happens in an instant. When someone stops biting their

fingernails that change also happens in an instant. What takes

an eternity is preparing for that change. Like some people may

take five years trying all kinds of ways to quit smoking until one

day they just stop, never to take it up again.

Why does it take so long? And what eventually led to the

change? There are three keys that must be present for someone

to make any kind of change…

1) This MUST change

All of us know logically that we should change our bad habits.

But we never do because it never became a MUST in our minds.

Only when changing becomes an absolute MUST, does the

change occur. 

It must come to a point when it becomes extremely painful

for us not to change, in that moment our mind shifts changing

(the habit) into the number one priority. 

I have a friend (many years older than I), who couldn’t quit the habit of

smoking for twenty years. Then one day his beloved 10-year-old daughter

came home from school crying hysterically. Her tears were too much for

him to bear and he asked her what had happened? 

‘Dad, I don’t want you to die! Please don’t leave me! ‘Darling, don’t be 

silly, who says I’m going to die?’ She cried, I learned in school that smokers

die because of cancer! I don’t want you to die!’. At that moment, the pain

of seeing his beloved daughter’s anguish and fear was so great that he

stopped smoking and never took it up again.

Or it could be rising to a challenge that causes the change.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 200

201 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

Here is another true story. Percy said he quit smoking about 20+ plus 

ago when his very young daughter threw him this challenge. He had been

trying, to no avail, to get her to stop sucking her thumb. When he, once

again, prevailed on her to stop, she turned round and said: “Dad, I’ll stop

sucking my thumb if you stop smoking.” It was a challenge he could not

turn down! He stopped smoking there and then!

The first thing you have to do in order to change any habit,

it to find a compelling reason to stop now! I want you to think

of a limiting habit you would like to change such as biting your

nails or watching too much TV. And I want you to write down,

in the space below, all the reasons why you MUST change!

I Must Change Because

2) Create an Alternative 

If you think of all the times you changed a habit, it is always

because there was an alternative behavior that replaced the

habit. Stopping a behavior leaves a vacuum in our minds. Unless

we replace it with something else, the old habit will return. For

example, people who stop smoking will always find themselves

doing something else that meets the need that the smoking

provided. So they start eating or exercising or playing with kids

in order to relax and kill their boredom. 

3) A New Pattern is Re-conditioned

Not only must the old bad habit be replaced with a new positive

behavior, the new behavior must be conditioned until it

becomes a new habit. It is generally believed that you must

perform a behavior consistently for 28 days until it becomes a

new pattern.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 202

In other words, if you can get up early and go for a jog for 28

straight days, you will definitely create a new pattern. Why?

Because we need to create a new set of neuro-connections that

control that new pattern in our minds!

The good news is that with the Swish pattern you are going

to learn, you can create a new neurological pathway and install

any behavior within twenty minutes!

The Swish Pattern of Rapid Change

Are you ready to make some fast and lasting changes to your

habits? There are six major steps in the Swish pattern.

Step 1. Elicit the Negative Habit to be Changed

First, identify the bad habit which you would like to change. For

example, it could be feeling sleepy whenever you need to do

some homework, chewing fingernails, over eating, over sleeping,

binge drinking, smoking etc. Write down your bad habits now.

For the purpose of this example, let’s say we work on over

sleeping in the morning.

Step 2. Identify the TRIGGER that led to the Negative Pattern 

Every behavior is triggered off by something we see, hear or feel

(or a combination). This is called the TRIGGER IMAGE. For

example, how does your brain know when to smoke? Normally,

it is because you feel stressed or bored (kinesthetic) or you see

others smoke (visual).

You must identify what is the TRIGGERthat sets off this

limiting behavior. In our example, the  TRIGGERmight be

203 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

hearing and seeing the alarm clock that fires off the old behavior

of going back to sleep! Once you know what this TRIGGERis,

create a PICTURE in your mind that is associated with this

trigger. We will call this the TRIGGER IMAGE.

Step 3. Elicit the DESIRED STATE/BEHAVIOR that You Want

Instead. Create a DESIRED IMAGE.

The next step is to train your brain to move towards a new

positive state and behavior. This means that the same TRIGGER

will fire off a new pattern to replace the old habit. For example,

hearing the alarm clock go off (TRIGGER) will get you feeling

energized, and jumping out of bed  (DESIRED STATE/

BEHAVIOR)! 

Now, create an image in your mind that is associated with

the new desired state/behaviour. For example, you can see

yourself in a totally energized state, jumping out of bed and

saying, ‘Get up Now, great day ahead!’. This is called the

DESIRED IMAGE.Note that the DESIRED IMAGEmust be one

where you are ASSOCIATEDinto the experience.

In order to install this new TRIGGER➤BEHAVIOR, we need

to literally condition this pattern in our brain so as to form a new

set of neuro-connections. This is done in step 4.

TRIGGER IMAGE

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 204

Step 4. Swish the TRIGGER IMAGE Away, and Swish the

DESIRED IMAGE Towards You at a HIGH SPEED with a 

‘Whoosh’ Sound. 

This is best done standing up. I want you to close your eyes and

see the TRIGGER IMAGEas a picture in front of you. Now,

imagine grabbing the image with both hands and throwing it

forcefully away from you! Make the sound ‘Whoosh’

Imagine the TRIGGER IMAGEmoving away at HIGH SPEED

and getting smaller and smaller until it becomes a tiny dot.

Then, see it become the DESIRED IMAGEcoming back at HIGH

SPEEDtowards you. It gets larger and larger until it reaches you,

then you grab it with both hands! Keep on making the sound

‘whoosh!’

At this time, you must be ASSOCIATEDwith the DESIRED

IMAGE. So, get yourself into an energized state by adopting the

physiology and see yourself jumping out of bed! Say to yourself

what you would say if you felt totally energized (in a very

energized tone), ‘Get up Now, great day ahead!’

TRIGGER IMAGE DESIRED IMAGE

205 DIRECTING YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

Step 5. Repeat this 10-15 times

Keep repeating this process with as much energy and speed as you

can muster. It gets easier with repetition. You will know it’s

habituated when you feel that this new pattern is a ‘normal’ feeling.

Step 6. Test by Future Pacing

The next thing is to test if it works. One way is by using a future

pace. See yourself going out into the future where you will be in

the trigger situation. For example, see yourself in bed and hear

the alarm ring. Then see yourself with the new state and

behavior.

Again, the ultimate test is what happens the next day! When

done effectively, it will be the best model of change you will ever

experience.

After you do this, you might realize that this is not the only

thing you need to do to succeed in waking up effectively.

Everything you can sense in your working environment must be

used as triggers to get you to wake up, including your bed,

blanket and the presence of your body on the bed. Flexible

people have multiple triggers to get them into states of absolute

resourcefulness.

Let’s discover even more strategies about how to condition

your brain for success in the next chapter.

Chapter Summary

1 Our internal representation is the way in which we represent 

what is going on around us. It is what we think about and how 

we think about our ‘environment’. 

2 We must control WHAT we think about by focusing on the 

mental images and sounds that empower us towards solutions 

and possibilities.

3 We can direct HOW we think about experiences using submodalities.

4 Submodalities are like the keyboard to our brain. Every state 

has got a specific submodality structure associated to it.

5 We can use Submodalities to

Intensify a positive experience

Deintensify a negative experience

Change how we feel about an experience by ‘mapping across’

6 The Distortion Technique is used to neutralize a negative experience.

Think of a bad experience that is bothering you

Play it as a movie until you come to the end of the experience 

Play the movie backwards and forwards at three times the 

normal speed. Distort the submodalities (sounds and pictures) 

so it looks and sounds funny, even ridiculous

Repeat this process 5-8 times

Test. Think of that bad experience again

How does it feel it now?

7 The Swish Pattern is used to change limiting habits 

and install useful ones.

Elicit the Negative Habit to be Changed

Identify the TRIGGER that leads to the Negative Pattern

Elicit the DESIRED STATE/BEHAVIOR that you want instead

Create a DESIRED IMAGE

Swish the TRIGGER IMAGE away, and swish the DESIRED IMAGE 

towards you at a HIGH SPEED with a ‘whoosh’ sound

Repeat this 10-15 times

Test by Future Pacing

ANCHORING: 

THE KEYBOARD TO 

YOUR EMOTIONS

8

Anchoring one’s mind to positive states is powerful stuff. It 

has made fighting couples fall in love again… and cured phobias 

like fear of snakes. Here’s what it can do for you.

Y

ou now know that you create your own states and you

have the ability to access any of these states at will. But

do you have to go through the process of shifting your

physiology and your submodalities every time you need to get

into a particular state?

Is there a way you can fire off any state in an instant? The

answer is yes, and the process is called anchoring. An anchor is

a stimulus that immediately fires off a state in you. A stimulus is

anything you see, hear or feel.

Whenever you are in an intense associated state and an

anchor is applied repeatedly, the state will be neurologically

linked to the anchor. When this happens, all you have to do is

to apply the same anchor and you will immediately experience

the same state.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 208

Anchoring was first discovered by Ivan Pavlov, a Russian

psychologist who called it ‘classical conditioning’. In his

experiment, Pavlov got a bunch of dogs into an intense state of

hunger by putting food in front of them. The dogs would salivate

ferociously. At this time, he would ring a bell, over and over

again. After a while the sound of the bell (the anchor) became

neurologically linked to the state of hunger. Then Pavlov

decided to ring the bell but didn’t put any food out. The

moment the bell rang, the dogs showed hunger pangs and began

salivating!

Well, the process of anchoring doesn’t just happen to

animals. As human beings, we get anchored to different states

all the time. Some of these anchors put us into resourceful states.

Unfortunately most of them limit us by putting us into lousy

states! What are some of the states that your brain is anchored

to right now? There are basically three kinds of anchors: visual

anchors, auditory anchors and kinesthetic anchors.

Visual Anchors

What are some of the visual anchors that people have? Is there

a person’s face you see that immediately makes you feel lousy?

Like a nasty boss or an ex-girlfriend? Is there someone else who,

the minute you see him or her, puts you in a great state? You feel

uplifted. 

We also tend to anchor intense emotional past experiences

to things that currently happen around us. For example, have

you ever sped along the expressway and suddenly a white car on

the road catches your attention. If you are a speed maniac, I bet

Neurologically 

linked

INTENSE EMOTIONAL STATE

(e.g. Motivation)

ANCHOR

(e.g. Snap Fingers)

209 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

that ‘white car’ would have fired off a state of fear, causing you

to quickly put on the brake. 

Then there are some people who start feeling sleepy the

moment they flip open the pages of a thick book. It’s the sight of

the thick, heavy tome which they associate with boredom and

sleepiness. 

And are you one of those who instantly feel butterflies in

your stomach when you step in front of an audience? Or get a

panic attack when you approach the examination hall as a

student? 

Some people I know get it so bad they have to run to the

washroom when it happens. 

Then there are others who are affected by particular times of

the day or night. Certain times, associated with bedtime or naps,

have become anchors for such people. Catching a glimpse of the

clock, seeing that it’s already 11pm or 12 midnight (their usual

bedtime) can put them into a sleepy state. We have to become

aware of which stimuli or anchors fire off lousy states in us and

as a consequence make us perform poorly.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 210

Auditory Anchors 

Another form of anchor/stimuli we experience are auditory

anchors. Auditory anchors are sounds that are neurologically

linked to a particular state. A good example is the sound of a

siren. Hearing it fires off a state of ‘fear’ in some people. 

How about people’s voices? Are there some voices that make

you feel irritated instantly? I’ll bet you these are whining or

grating, abrasive and loud voices. 

Is there a person’s voice that immediately makes you feel

loved and happy? All these are auditory anchors that have been

conditioned from past emotional experiences, good and bad.

One of the most powerful forms of auditory anchors is music.

And movies have done a great job of installing all kinds of music

anchors that put us in a whole range of states immediately

enhancing the pictures we are seeing. 

Can you imagine floating in the middle of the ocean in the

pitch black of night? As you feel your body moving to the waves,

I want you to imagine playing the theme from Jaws. Does the

music fire off a state of fear? Does it trigger off images of a

menacing shark? The Great White.

I know a lot of people who, after watching Jaws, had phobias

of swimming in the ocean. They could not get the Jaws theme

and horrible pictures out of their head when they were in the

water? 

Were you one of those people? What the movie did was put

its audience into an intense state of horror and fear as they saw

people being ripped apart. In the background, they constantly

played the Jaws theme. After the movie, the music got linked to

the state of fear! 

Now, have there been movies that have installed resourceful

anchors in us? Of course! To many people, the theme from

‘Chariots of fire’ still fires off a state of inspiration and

motivation. If you are a Rocky fan, I bet that the Rocky Theme

makes you similarly inspired and motivated!

Now, what I do and what you can do is to use these auditory

anchors to get into these powerful positive states when you need it. 

Do you have a problem waking up in the morning? Does the

shrill ring of the alarm clock set off a lousy state that makes you

switch it off, and go back to sleep? For me the alarm going off

211 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

was the trigger to bury my head in the pillow. What I did to

reverse this negative state was to program my compact disc

player to play the Rocky theme, at full volume, at a time I

needed to get out of bed.

Guess what happened? Rocky instantly propelled me into an

inspired state! I flew out of bed and felt totally resourceful as I

got ready and went out to work. (To this day I still use the Rocky

theme as my ‘alarm clock’.)

When I was in the army, I used to get lousy timings for the

2.4 kilometer running test. A few minutes into the run and I

would feel really exhausted, out of breath and I would hear this

voice in my head saying ‘I’m tired, I’m really tired’. 

In this poor performing state I would slow right down to a

walk. I knew then that the only way for me to get a second wind

to run would be to use the power of anchoring. What I used to

do the moment I felt tired was to play the rousing ‘Chariots of

fire’ music in my mind. This immediately fired off inspiring

images of long distance athletes and put me in a powerful state

that allowed me to run my best timings.

Did you watch Titanic the movie? I have friends who

watched it several times and still cried. It was interesting to see

the many people who got anchored to the Titanic theme. The

moment they hear it, they would get into this romantic state!

Some of my friends even shamelessly used that music to get their

girlfriends into a mushy state!

Kinesthetic Anchors

The third kind of anchors we have are kinesthetic anchors. It is

when someone touches you in a certain way or you move in a

certain way that fires off a particular state! Is there a way

someone touches you, or holds you that makes you feel really

loved?

Top sports athletes always have some kind of power move or

consistent ritual they do in order to get themselves into a peak

state. Michael Jordan sticks out his tongue, Tiger Woods pumps

his fist and other athletes slap their hands together. In the past,

every time they were in a power state, they kept making that

move until the action became anchored to that state.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 212

The late legendary Elvis Presley sent millions of his fans –

especially females – into screams and shrieks as soon as he

swiveled his hips to his rock and roll music. 

You don’t have to be a sports or movie star to have power

moves. You can install kinesthetic anchors that you can fire off

anytime you need to get into a powerful state – like before you

make a presentation, make a sales pitch, stand in front of an

audience, make a cold call or get started on a tough project.

Do you know someone who is in the uniformed services and

is really proud of it? Like the army, navy, air force or the police

force? Notice how putting on that uniform literally changes the

way the person feels. 

I have noticed that when people put on their uniform,

especially if they are of a commander rank, their physiology

changes. They stand straighter, breathe differently and change

their facial muscles. 

All this happens at a subconscious level. It instantly makes

that person feel more confident and more authoritative! If you

think about it, it is just a piece of clothing. But through

associating that uniform and its rank with power, that piece of

clothing has become a powerful anchor! 

When I first started motivational speaking, I used a

particular blue suit and a red tie to get myself into a powerful and

confident state! And most women executives and professionals

know the power of ‘the power suit’ in giving them confidence

and poise, and triggering off respect in those they meet. 

How Anchoring Affects Our Lives

Have you ever wondered why Nike pays sports stars millions of

dollars just to wear clothes with that famous swish logo? They do

it because they understand the power of anchoring. Last year,

Nike signed a US$100 million 5-year endorsement deal for Tiger

Woods to wear that Nike cap and apparel. Were they crazy? No!

They knew that when people saw Tiger Woods and felt that

intense state of motivation and inspiration, they would see the

Nike swish. When people watched Jordan and felt incredible,

they would see that Nike Swish. Sure enough, seeing the swish

gave people all the great feelings. The states of power,

213 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

motivation and confidence were anchored to the visual swish

logo.

That anchor gets people to pay hundreds of dollars for those

Jordan shoes and Nike golf cap and T-shirts. Why? Somehow

when they wear it, they feel great! 

By using the power of anchoring their logo and products to

the great feelings generated by sports stars, Nike has become the

largest and most successful sports apparel company in the world.

When Nike first started paying millions of dollars to sports stars,

many of their competitors thought they were mad to waste so

much money but at the end of the day it is Nike who is laughing

all the way to the bank. 

Don’t get manipulated… create your own powerful anchors! 

If advertisers spend millions of dollars to constantly anchor

powerful states in you to their brands, isn’t it time you took

control and started creating powerful anchors for yourself? In a

short while, you are going to do just that.

By the way, do you know how people fall deeply in love with

someone? They get fantastic feelings of love anchored to that

person’s face and voice. As they go out with that person and

have a good time, they feel all these great feelings when they see

that person’s face and hear that person’s voice until eventually it

all gets anchored! So, every time you think of that person, you

feel wonderful! 

Do you know why people often fall out of love after a while?

It is because the positive anchors eventually collapse and get

replaced with negative anchors. 

When you are in a relationship, you are bound to have

misunderstandings and unhappy moments. The danger comes

when you see your partner’s face while you are feeling these

negative emotions. Or when your partner feels lousy and you

hug them in a certain way. After some time, those negative

feelings of hurt and anger get linked to that person’s face, voice

and touch. 

Over time, just thinking of that person brings up all those

negative feelings. This is why many people, once so in love,

reach a stage when they cannot see each other without getting

upset and fighting. As a result, they eventually fall out of love

and break up! 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 214

So you must understand the power of anchoring for two

reasons. The first is to install powerful anchors so that you can

access resourceful states any time you need to perform at your

peak. The second is to understand how negative anchors can

limit you. This way, you can collapse them and stop them from

controlling you. 

Four Steps to Creating a Powerful Anchor

You can create an anchor for virtually any resourceful state that

you want. You can create anchors for confidence, relaxation,

motivation and love. Once you decide on the state you want to

anchor, there are four major steps to follow. 

Step 1. Get into an Intense, Fully Associated State

The first step is to get yourself into an intense, fully associated

state. How? By accessing a time in the past when you felt this

state. Adopt the same physiology you were in and use your

submodalities to intensify the state.

Let’s say you wanted to anchor the state of confidence. Well,

think of the last time when you felt totally confident. 

Adopt the same physiology you were in at the time. Stand

the way you were standing, breathe the way you were breathing

and have the same facial expression you wore when you felt

totally confident.

See what you see, hear what you hear and feel what you feel.

Now, from a scale of 1 to 10, intensify your state to a 10 by

making the pictures bigger, brighter and associated. Make the

sounds louder and closer and say to yourself what you would say

if you felt totally confident.

Step 2. At the Peak of the State, Apply the Anchor

Once you sense that you are at the peak of the state (scale of

10), apply your anchor! The best kind of anchor to use would be

a combination of an auditory and kinesthetic anchor. For

example, you could clench your fists and shout, ‘Yes!’

Alternatively, you could clap your hands or snap your fingers. 

215 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

Step 3. Break the State. Then, Repeat Steps 1 & 2 At Least

Five to Ten Times

Next, break your state by thinking of something else. Then,

repeat the process of getting into the supremely confident state,

intensifying it and, at the peak, apply the anchor again. Keep

doing this over and over again until the anchor is installed.

Normally, five to ten times should be sufficient. 

Step 4. Test the Anchor

Finally, test the anchor. Again, get into a neutral state. This

time, apply the anchor by clenching your fist and shouting, ‘Yes!’

Do the emotions of confidence come back? If they do, that

means the anchor has been effectively installed.

The best way to test the anchor is in a real situation when

you are not feeling confident. Whenever you are in a situation

like this, fire off your anchor to get back into a resourceful state.

If you think about it, every time you got anchored to a

particular state, you went through these four steps. 

Why did you get emotions of love anchored to the Titanic

Theme? When you watched the movie, its pictures and sound

put you in an intense state of romance. Then, at the climax of

the movie, they kept playing that same song (apply the anchor

at the peak). They did this throughout the whole movie until

the anchor was installed. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 216

The test of how effectively the ‘romance’ anchor was

installed would come later, when you were in a neutral state.

And then, suddenly, you heard the song being played, and this

triggered off the same powerful feelings of love. So, the test

worked.

You may have also heard the expression, ‘They are playing

our song’, taken from a stage play. Couples in love, from all eras,

often say this with some excitement when they hear a particular

song being played. What these couples refer to is a song that was

playing (usually the current romantic hit song) when they were

falling in love. And hearing it played again brings back to the

couple, the same rush of romantic love. I am sure many of you

can relate to this.

Warning: Do not use this technique for intense fears and

phobias. A phobia is, of itself, a very powerful anchor and it will

override the resource anchor. The technique of using anchors to

get rid of phobias requires a different sequence of steps and we

will come to that later.

The Keys to Anchoring

Many people attempt to follow the four steps described above

but are still unsuccessful in installing an anchor. If this happens

to you, know that it is because you did not pay sufficient

attention to the four crucial keys to ensuring that the anchor is

effective. They are:

Key 1: Intensity

The first key is Intensity. Anchors can only be installed when

the state you experience is extremely intense. In fact, when a

state is intense enough, an anchor can be installed instantly

after one attempt. Being in a slightly motivated state, for

example, will not work.

217 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

Key 2: Timing

The second key is Timing. The anchor must be applied near the

peak of the intense state on the upward buildup so that when

you test the anchor, you will get a state that is on the uptrend. If

it is at the peak, it is possible that your anchor lasts into the

state’s downtrend, thereby reducing the anchor’s effectiveness.

You should hold on to the anchor for a second or two before

letting go.

Key 3: Uniqueness

The third key is Uniqueness. The anchor you choose must be

unique. Remember, it can be a visual anchor, auditory anchor or

a kinesthetic anchor. It can also be a combination of all three!

For example, your anchor could be seeing a particular picture,

saying something to yourself and snapping your fingers! But all

three must be applied simultaneously!

Key 4: Replication

The fourth key is Replication. You must apply the anchor a few

times in exactly the same way. For example, if your kinesthetic

anchor was touching a part of your shoulder, you must touch the

exact same part, with the same pressure. If the anchor was

something you said to yourself, you must repeat what you said in

exactly the same way.

INTENSITY

TIME

Peak of State

Apply Anchor Here

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 218

Anchor Yourself for a Successful Outcome

Are you ready? I want you to choose five resourceful states that

you would like to access in different situations. For example, if

you often give public presentations and always feel nervous at

the thought of facing an audience, you may want to create an

anchor that fires off a confident state or, depending on your

audience, you may want to create a calm anchor so you can

deliver a smooth speech with quiet confidence. Or, when you

are feeling stressed, you may want to be able to trigger off a state

of relaxation. 

Write down the FIVE resourceful states you want to anchor

and access when needed in the space below. Next to your states,

think and write down what anchors you want to use to fire off

these states. Remember that you can use visual anchors, auditory

anchors, kinesthetic anchors or a combination! 

If you already have a state anchored to a particular kind of

music, such as Motivation state to Rocky movie, then you could

just utilize that anchor! Grab your pen and do it now. 

Resourceful States Anchor

1

2

3

4

5

Once you know the resourceful states you want, use the four

steps to anchor yourself to each one of them. Choose a different

anchor for each of the different states you want to fire off. 

219 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

Create New Powerful Anchors in Other People

Can you use the same technique to create anchors of Love,

Confidence, Motivation and Enthusiasm in other people? Of

course you can!

In my seminars, participants must walk over a 5-inch plank

about one and a half stories high. I had a student who lost his

confidence when he reached the top and saw the narrow plank.

So I got him to come back down in order to break the negative

state.

I then got him to go back to a time in the past when he felt

totally relaxed and confident. As he accessed this resourceful

state, I got him to intensify the feelings. At the peak of the state,

I kept touching his shoulder in a certain way and saying, ‘Yes!’ I

kept repeating the process over and over again. After this, when

he again climbed all the way to the top, I was there to touch his

shoulder and say ‘yes!’ Immediately, his posture and facial

expression changed! He felt instantly calm and powerful and

could walk the plank confidently.

Anchoring… To Fall In Love Again!

Remember I told you about how couples fall out of love after a few

years? Well, Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist was able

to get couples to fall deeply in love again after short sessions of therapy

with her. 

What she simply did was to create new powerful anchors for the couples. 

She would get the man and the woman to imagine going back to the first

time they fell in love. She would get them to imagine all the wonderful

times they had together. 

As they felt all these great feelings of love, she got them to intensify 

the experience and, at the peak, would get them to look at each other’s

face. She did this process over and over again. Pretty soon those great

feelings would come flooding back and the couples would fall deeply in

love again.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 220

How to Collapse a Negative Anchor & Install an

Empowering One

Now that you have learnt how to install anchors for various

kinds of states, you must also learn how to collapse them.

Obviously, we would only want to collapse anchors that fire off

lousy states and limit us. 

What limiting anchors do you have that hold you back? For

example, when you get into your office and the first thing you

see is an overflowing in-tray or a desk piled high with files, do

you immediately feel you want to do something to avoid

attending to all that paperwork? 

Or perhaps you feel nervous when you have to pick up the

phone to make a cold call? Or apprehension when you see your

boss’s face, or when you have to walk into a crowded room and

you don’t know anybody? 

Perhaps you get butterflies in your stomach just before you

make a presentation to a client? 

All these are subconscious anchors that fire off lousy states

that prevent us from performing at our peak. I want you to take

a few minutes to write down whatever limiting anchors you

have. Also, write down at least 3 new powerful states you would

want to replace the collapsed anchor with.

My Limiting Anchors

Anchor Limiting State New State

1

2

3

4

5

Once you have identified these limiting anchors, you can use

the 7-step process of collapsing anchors.

221 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

Steps to Collapsing An Anchor

Step 1. Decide on the negative state to be collapsed

The first step is to decide on the negative state you want to get

rid off. For example, whenever you look at the phone in the

office, you feel nervous. If you are a salesperson this would be

extremely counter-productive.

Step 2. Decide on the Positive States Needed

The next step is to decide on all the powerful states needed to

collapse the negative state. You could use ‘confidence’, ‘fun’ and

‘motivation’ for example. 

Step 3. Elicit the Different Positive States and Anchor Them

Next, put yourself into each of the positive states using your

physiology and submodalities. At the peak of each positive state,

anchor them one by one. By using one anchor for all the positive

states, you are literally stacking all the positive states so they

become very powerful.

For example, think of a time when you felt totally confident.

Put yourself in the same physiology and intensify the state by

changing your driver submodalities. At the peak of the state, you

could snap your fingers and say ‘Yes!’ (notice that this a

kinesthetic and auditory anchor). Repeat the same thing for

‘fun’ and ‘motivation’. So by snapping your fingers and saying,

‘Yes!’, you fire off all three positive states of ‘confidence’, ‘fun’

and ‘motivation’.

Step 4. Fire Off Both Positive & Negative Anchors

Simultaneously Until They Peak, and the Integration 

is Complete

To collapse the anchor, we need to fire off both the positive and

negative anchors simultaneously. For example, we look at the

phone and snap our fingers. When both positive and negative

states are fired off together, the more powerful positive state will

collapse the negative one.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 222

Step 5. Release the Negative Anchor

We then release the negative anchor by looking away from the

phone.

Step 6. Continue to Hold the Positive Anchor for 5 Seconds

and then Release

We continue to fire off the positive states by snapping our fingers

and saying ‘Yes!’ for 5 seconds.

Step 7. Test it Out

Finally, we can test it out. Now look at the phone afresh, this

time the old state of nervousness should no longer be felt. In

fact, by looking at the phone, the new resourceful states of ‘fun’,

‘motivation’ and ‘confidence’ should be fired off automatically.

Perhaps you don’t realize this but what Virginia Satir did to

help fighting couples fall in love again was a ‘collapse anchor’

process. Before the therapy, each time an estranged husband and

wife saw each other’s face (old anchor), feelings of anger and

disappointment would surface. Virginia, by using positive states

of ‘love’, ‘joy’, ‘happiness’ and ‘excitement’ as anchors, helped

the couples collapse the negative feelings they had of each other.

With the new anchors successfully installed, every time her

clients saw each other, the great feelings of love would come

rushing back!

Dealing with Phobias: The Ultimate Anchors

In traditional psychotherapy, it is believed that a phobia takes

years to cure. This is especially so with deep rooted phobias that

the person has suffered with for years. However, with the right

strategies, you can eliminate a lifelong phobia within 30

minutes.

In our training programs, we have helped eliminate people’s

phobia of snakes, mice, heights, water and public speaking. You

see, a phobia is nothing more than a very big negative anchor.

Normally, a phobia is an intense fear linked to a particular

stimulus, like heights. A true phobia is one where the person

223 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

starts getting into an intense and uncontrollable state of fear and

they exhibit this fear by sweating and shaking and sometimes

bursting into tears. 

As we mentioned before, it is difficult to eliminate a phobia

just by using the ‘collapsing anchors’ technique on its own.

Why? Because with a phobia, the negative anchor is so strong

that it will collapse the positive anchor. 

For example, if you had a phobia of the stage and starting to

snap your fingers to fire off ‘confidence’, the state of fear will get

linked to your original positive anchor of snapping the fingers. 

To eliminate phobias, you must use a combination of

techniques that incorporate submodalities, anchoring and the

distortion method. This is known as the Fast Phobia Cure, and

it has five major steps.

Step 1. Test the Phobia

First, put the person in contact with whatever is creating the

phobia in order to measure the strength of the phobia. For

example, if it is a fear of snakes, bring the snake to the person

and see how the person reacts. The reason for doing this is so

that when the person has been ‘cured’ of his/her phobia, you can

see the dramatic change that has taken place.

Now, take the stimulus away (i.e. the snake) so that the

person is far from it.

Step 2. Create a Series of Resourceful Anchors

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 224

In order to collapse the phobia, you need to create in that

person, a series of very powerful anchors. These resourceful

states could be ‘confidence’, ‘complete relaxation’ or ‘humour’.

Now, get that person into each of these states and, at the peak,

anchor the person by saying something positive and touching

them on the shoulders. For example, get the person into a very

confident state, and anchor it. Next, get the person into an

intense humorous state and anchor that as well. Use the same

anchor (touch on the shoulders), to stack all the three

resourceful states.

Step 3. Do a Double Disassociation

Now, because a phobia is usually very intense, just thinking of it

will trigger fear. It order to avoid this, we need to get the person

to do a double disassociation. In other words, he is disassociated

twice from the experience. This is how we do it.

‘Imagine that you are in a movie theatre, sitting right in front of

the big screen and you are watching a movie of yourself in the past.

Now, from your seat, imagine yourself stepping out of your body and

floating all the way up into the projection room. 

‘From the projection room, I want you to feel that you are safe

from the fear. Now, on the screen, I want you to see a movie of the

time when you first had this fear (of snakes or whatever phobia you

have). Maybe it was the time when you first encountered a snake.’

225 ANCHORING: THE KEYBOARD TO YOUR EMOTIONS

As the person is seeing these past experiences, we keep firing

off the resourceful anchor (i.e. touching him on the shoulder) in

order to put that person in a powerful state.

Step 4. Change the Internal Representation of the 

Past Experience

Remember that what causes the state of fear is the way the

person has represented the experience of the past. We need to

scramble the past experience by changing the submodalities of

the pictures, sounds and feelings. We need to represent it in a

way where it becomes fun and even humorous. This is where we

can use lots of reframing as well. We could say:

‘As you see the snake in front of you, imagine that the snake is

smiling at you. See the snake sticking out its tongue, this means it

wants to greet you and make friends. Imagine the snake saying, ‘I’m

scared. Please hold me. The reason I move around so much is because

I want to get to know you’. Imagine the snake having the voice of a

cute character. 

As you see yourself holding the snake, imagine that it is a warm-blooded creature with texture you like to stroke, such as soft silk. As

you see yourself holding the snake, see and feel yourself having lots of

fun! What would you say or do in order to make this really fun?’

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 226

As you do this, keep firing off the anchor of ‘confidence’,

‘humor’ and ‘relaxation.

Step 5. Re-associate Back into the Experience

When you see the person feeling very good, very comfortable 

as they use their imagination to change their internal

representations, get him or her to slowly associate back into

their body. You tell the person:

‘Imagine yourself drifting down from the projector booth into your

body in the cinema seat. How does that feel? Now, imagine yourself

being associated into the movie that you see on the screen. Become

fully associated into the experience as you play with the snake. Feel

the confidence and the fun.’

Once the person is able to stay in a positive state while

imagining the experience in a disassociated way, you know that

the phobia has been neutralized. You can then go on to test it for

real. 

Step 6. Test it!

Ask the person to come back from the experience. Now, take

the snake to the person slowly and, as you do this, keep firing off

the resourceful anchors as you had done earlier. If you have gone

through the process successfully, the person will find that the

phobia has been neutralized. 

Remember anchoring is a process that all of us are subjected

to all the time. If we take conscious control of what we are

neurologically linked to, then we can be constantly anchored to

positive states. And it’s only in these positive states that we are

driven to reach our goals! 

Do note that some steps will vary if you have a phobia that

is more specific, i.e. you have been bitten by a snake before. In

this instance, you will have to use a distortion technique.

Chapter Summary

1 Whenever you are in an intense associated state and an anchor 

is applied repeatedly, the state will be neurologically linked to 

the anchor. 

2 There are visual anchors, auditory anchors & kinesthetic anchors.

3We can install an anchor by

Getting into an intense, associated state

Applying the anchor at the peak

Repeating this consistently

Testing to see if it works

4 In order for an anchor to be effective, there are 4 keys to observe

Intensity

Timing

Replication

Uniqueness

5 We can collapse negative anchors that limit us and install 

empowering alternatives. There are seven steps.

Decide on the negative state to be collapsed

Decide on the positive states needed

Elicit the different positive states and anchor them

Fire off both positive & negative anchors simultaneously 

until they peak, then release the negative anchor

Continue to hold the positive anchor for 5 seconds 

and then release.

Test it out.

6 Phobias are nothing but strong anchors to fear. 

We can eliminate them with six steps.

Test the phobia

Create a series of resourceful anchors

Do a double disassociation 

Change the internal representation of the past experience

Re-associate back into the experience

Test it

THE TRANSFORMATION 

OF MEANING

9

‘The meaning I choose to give is the meaning I create’

- Adam Khoo

I

magine that the company you have worked so hard for in the

last 20 years decided that it was time to retrench you because

they can replace you with someone at half your salary. How

would you feel? 

What meaning would you give to this experience? 

Most people would feel angry, bitter and rejected. Because it

means that their source of income and security is gone, cut off. 

They would feel betrayed. They would feel that they have

just wasted 20 years of their life. They would feel that they are

too old and no longer of value! The meaning they attach to this

experience would put them in a totally un-resourceful state. 

So, what do you think will happen when they go for a new

job interview? Would they impress their prospective new

employer with their enthusiasm, passion, energy and drive? Not

likely. Chances are, they will unconsciously exhibit their low

self-esteem, even bitterness and jadedness. As a result, it will

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 230

take them a long time to find someone who wants to hire them.

And even if they eventually find another job, it may be a part-time job, or one of much lower status and pay. 

Now, in this new job do you think they will give their all?

Most likely they would be thinking to themselves, ‘What’s the

point? I gave my best years to my former company and look

where it has gotten me?’ As a result, this person will reinforce

the meaning he has attached to the retrenchment; that it was

the worst thing that has ever happened to him.

Retrenchment: Dejection to One, Joy to Another! 

At the same time, I have also seen many other people attach a

totally different meaning to the same experience of

retrenchment. To these people, retrenchment means that it is

the company’s great loss. 

It means that they have the opportunity to start a new career

or business in a field they have a whole lot more passion for. It

means that they will finally be paid what they are worth! And

the ‘bonus’ is that they are getting a great pay-out which will be

the seed money to get them started in a business they always

wanted to be in, but never had a good reason to start. Not until

the ‘Retrenchment’ package was given to them. 

Getting retrenched also means that they have much more

freedom and flexibility to plan ahead. 

For those looking for a new employer, retrenchment means

that they can be glad they are leaving an ungrateful company to

move to one where they would be more appreciated, and whose

corporate culture would be more in sync with theirs.

By framing retrenchment in this way, these people attach a

whole different meaning to the same experience. They put

themselves into a totally resourceful state of possibility,

enthusiasm, motivation, passion and excitement. 

They will be driven to go out and upgrade their skills, hunt

for new career opportunities, or even start their own business.

As a result of taking all these actions, do you think they will end

up in a situation that is better than where they were previously? 

Of course! I have so many (older) friends who were forced to

start their own business after the 1987 recession and, because of

231 THE TRANSFORMATION OF MEANING

this, many of them are a lot wealthier, happier and have a

greater sense of freedom and purpose.

‘Getting laid off was the best thing that happened to me.’

– Shipping Tycoon 

One of these enterprising people I know has just listed his

shipping company and is personally worth $28 million. He keeps

saying that the layoff was the best thing that ever happened to

him. Again, the meaning these people choose to give to their

experience was the meaning they created.

Why is it that the same experience can destroy one person

and empower another to a new level of success? 

In the previous chapter ‘Directing Your Brain’, we said that

we represent (frame) things very differently in our minds. Some

people have a pattern of constantly framing experiences in such

a way that it dis-empowers them and puts them in un-resourceful states. Others constantly frame things in a way that

gets them empowered and extremely resourceful. 

So which representation of The Experience is true? Is it a

blessing or a curse? Is it an opportunity or a problem? How you

choose to represent the experience becomes true for you. 

Yes, we all have the free will to create our own model of the

world, whatever the external circumstances.

There is No Meaning in Life, Except the Meaning

We Choose to Give It.

What we must understand is that all meaning is context

dependant. In other words, there is no meaning in life except

the meaning we choose to give it. 

When we look at things (an experience, an incident, an

event) from one perspective, it may seem totally bad. However,

when we change the way we look at the same thing (i.e. from a

different perspective), the meaning completely changes. It could

become totally powerful… for you. 

You can also see that any experience in life carries with it

multiple meanings. Anything in life has the potential to be

either good/positive or bad/negative. It depends on your

perspective, the frame in which you are seeing it from. 

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 232

The Rainbow in Every Dark Cloud

This is known as the law of polarity. For every north, there is 

a south. For every outside, there is an inside, for every crisis,

there is an opportunity and for every heads, there is a tails. 

For every concave, there is a convex. For everything that comes

to an end, something new begins. 

The meaning we choose to attach to an experience is the

meaning we create. When we interpret an experience as

negative or bad, we will get into a miserable state, take lousy

actions (even inaction is a form of lousy action) and produce

negative results. At the same time, when we interpret an

experience as positive, we get into resourceful states, take

positive action, and eventually create positive results.

This can be summarized in a formula that goes

Event+Response=Outcome. I first came across this wonderful

formula in a seminar given by Jack Canfield (co-author of

Chicken Soup for the Soul). Many people believe that it is the

events around us that shape our outcomes. They believe that

people who are happier and more successful just happen to

experience better events in their lives. 

E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome)

You and I both know that this is totally untrue. It is not the

things that happen to us, but rather, how we choose to respond

to happenings and external circumstances that ultimately shape

our outcomes. 

Retrenchment is one of the most commonplace experiences

faced by people, in the ups and downs of life. As we saw in the

true-life experiences narrated earlier, how a person chooses to

responds can either put him in an un-resourceful state, and

ultimately create a lousy outcome for him, or he can respond in

an empowering way and come out with a positive outcome. 

‘The basic difference between an ordinary man and a

warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge

while an ordinary man takes everything either as 

a blessing or a curse.’ 

– Don Juan in ‘Tales of Power’

233 THE TRANSFORMATION OF MEANING

As you well know, we cannot control every single thing that

happens to us, but we can control how we choose to respond

to it. 

For example, if you go sailing, you cannot control where the

wind is going to blow. You can complain and blame the wind all

you want but it is not going to be of any use. However, you can

control how you maneuver the sails, and that will control the

outcome of your boat’s direction. 

People who succeed and live fulfilling and enriching lives

don’t experience better events, they just represent things and

respond in a much more powerful way. 

We have heard so many stories of people who were born with

all kinds of handicaps and despite all the odds stacked against

them, they managed to create a life most others can only dream

about. 

Oprah Winfrey – from Street Urchin to Talkshow Host

Extraordinaire 

What would you say of a child who was born to a single 13-year-old

mother who was struggling to survive on the streets? What would you

say if I told you that this child became the victim of multiple physical

and sexual abuse before the age of thirteen herself? She later became

pregnant and gave birth to a still-born baby. 

She often got into trouble with the law before the age of fifteen. You

wouldn’t bet too much hope on her future, would you? What if I told

you that this person was Oprah Winfrey, one of the richest and most

successful women in the United States? And she is a Black American 

as well. 

Despite all the handicaps and tragic abuses, Oprah chose to keep

responding in an empowering way that led to the outcomes that she 

is experiencing today. 

At the same time we know people who, despite being born

with all the money, advantages, resources and opportunities

chose to make nothing of themselves. In fact, many of them end

up destroying their lives.

MASTER YOUR MIND DESIGN YOUR DESTINY 234

Andrew Luster – from Cosmetics Heir 

to Rapist-on-the-run

A recent example is Andrew Luster, 39-year-old heir to the Max

Factor cosmetics empire who became a convicted rapist on-the-run in

mid 2003. 

Luster is the great-grandson of legendary Hollywood make-up mogul

Max Factor who established his empire in Hollywood in the 1920s. As