Reviewing this is killing me.

GOOD ANGEL

Angel was actually close to being a character, what he was thinking here being an example of him being rational.

But...

Angel shouldn't have stopped when his name was called.

Honestly.

And Mason took Angel's phone without his permission...

And did something to it.

Mason shouldn't have done this.

Master Please...
This is Sexual Assault!

Again, not actual sexual assault yet, but Mason shouldn't have taken Angel's phone nor should he have done something to it.

By the way, we're never told explicitly or implicitly what is done to his phone.

This is honestly just needless filler that shows Mason as a bad person.

The author tries to make him not seem as bad later, as well.

Mason is honestly a terrible person if he does that within about ten minutes, no two ways about it.

He doesn't act like a real person that's a terrible person, either.

Wasn't David Angel's ex?

...

Yes, yes he was.

This clearly shows that Angel's whole background wasn't planned out at all, since they used the name David for one of Angel's friends.

The story and characters should be planned out before writing the story, so that continuity errors like this - which are more important than they seem - don't occur.

Seeing that name implies so many things, like that Angel regularly hangs out with his ABUSIVE ex.

I'm pretty sure that Angel, idiot he is, is not even that dumb.

...Yeah, what the Hell are you doing thinking about him?

I don't have a lot to say here.

This complete removes any logic from Angel's previous thoughts of disapproval.

A real person wouldn't do that.

I... don't think I really need to explain how dumb this is.

Also

I mean, I literally almost passed out when he smiled at me and his grip on my hips... it made me comfortable.

Boom, fixed your grammar.

Although, Angel figuratively almost passed out~

MAYBE HE'S ON YOUR MIND BECAUSE HE'S A CREEPY WEIRDO AND IT'S HARD TO FORGET SOMEONE LIKE THAT EASILY.

Also, please don't make the next one longer. I have to suffer more grammar, spelling and homophone mistakes. Continuity errors, too, as seen with the David thing.