Chapter 4 ~ Tammy

I can’t stop smiling as I scroll down my timeline. I’ve won two hundred and sixty seven followers since my date with Liam Payne. He might be an all-goody boy but Grimmy was right, great publicity. Plus, it was fun to make fun of him, seeing how his face changed with every word I said. Clearly he can’t take a banter. But anyways, almost all the tabloids and gossip shows were talking about us and our supposed relationship. It’s fun how they think that we go on a date with someone once and we’re already in love and in a serious relationship. Man, people are dumb sometimes.

And this was the most fun part: fans of his little boy band were attacking me! Telling me to back off, to never touch Daddy Direction again, to stay away and many other colourful insults. To be so young they know how to swear. I’m impressed and flattered. My mentions are going crazy and all their hatred only makes me look tougher, more rebel-like… which can only boost my image. They think they are harming me somehow when in fact they are only helping me.

The band’s account also got a lot more followers and that makes me really happy, more people are listening to our music. This awful blind date with Liam did in fact help us so that’s the only reason I don’t yell at Grimmy for setting me up with a boy like Liam. It’s not like he is not hot, if you look close you see how built he is, the sharpness in his features and other good things about him, but he is too good for me. It’s like telling a hurricane to take care of the garden. It’s just impossible.

“I knew it. I fucking knew it. I’m so proud of you, Tammy, for finally accepting the truth,” Emma says as she makes her way towards me, and for the first time that morning I look up at her to meet her eyes. She brings a magazine in her hands and I’m pretty sure I’m in it because of my date with Liam. Magazines are quick, the date was only three days ago.

“You knew what? That I’m better than you?” I suggest and she rolls her eyes. “But everyone knew that already, Emma.”

So this is one thing you need to know. Girl bands are not always nice, we’re massively competitive. We all want to stand out in the band and it’s hard when every single one of us is so good, so it’s always like this, always fighting for who is the best one.  But we all know I am.

“Pff, don’t even try, Tammy. And I’m talking about you finally accepting you’re a boy! I always knew you liked girls.”

She shows me the cover of the magazine where there’s a picture of me from one of my favourite photoshoot sessions where we dressed like were-wolves. We look so awesome in those pictures. But next to me there’s an old picture –it must be old because he doesn’t look like that anymore– of Liam with straight and longer brown hair, like Justin Bieber. In that picture he looks like a baby boy. Well, baby girl. It’s like the editors of that magazine looked for the two pictures where we looked the most different from each other and put them together.

And I like it. I burst out laughing.

“I always knew you weren’t a girl. You couldn’t be one. You got your sex changed or something and you finally accepted it by dating this other girl!” Emma points at Liam and I laugh only harder. I don’t blame her, Liam does look like a lesbian in that picture. “Don’t you feel better?”

I put my laptop aside and rise to my feet. The girls and I are always teasing each other, and by teasing I mean we are awfully cruel with out jokes. But that’s okay because if someone tries to tell us something, we’ve already heard it before and it doesn’t affect us. There are certain topics off limit, like you can’t mess with Emma’s mum. Or Leanne’s style or Skyler’s music, and don’t even think of asking about my past. That’s buried deep in the mud and it will never see the light of day again.

Nevertheless, the girls tease me a lot about being a boy. I’m not the girliest of them all, I have my curves but I’m so skinny that I almost have the body of a boy and the girls don’t fail at noticing that. Plus, my manners are not quite nice, if I say so myself. I’m more like a truck driver kind of girl.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Emma, but I’m not dating him… her… uh? Whatever. The point is that it was just a blind date that brought us a lot of publicity,” I tell her taking the magazine to look it inside as I walk away from her calmly.

“Not the best publicity,” she adds and I shrug.

“Publicity is publicity. They know about us, they wonder who we are, they listen to our music and bam, we get them. They don’t need to like us, they only need to like our music and that’s what we do best, don’t we? Even if it’s bad publicity, our name is heard and that will always bring more people.”

I hear Emma sigh but she doesn’t say anything else, after all she also wants to be the biggest band ever and we won’t stop. Even Skyler wants to be the best out there, though she doesn’t give a fuck about fame and these things, she only cares about making the best music we can.

“Whatever. Janet needs us. The charity is next week and we need to figure out some last things,” my band mate tells me and I throw the magazine away.

“Let’s go!” I hurry her, almost running. I’m so excited for this charity, it’s as important to me as to the band and we need to make sure everything will be perfect. These kids need us.

* * *

This charity we’re taking part in is organised by Radio BBC1, which means for this time Grimmy is going with us as he is the host that supports us the most. He plays our songs all the time and he is the only one who can be with us without feeling offended. It’s to help troubled kids, all minors that have problems at home. Abusive or absent parents, drugs, robbery, violence… all kinds of problems. Kids with lives messed up come here and get some peace. When they need to run away, when they need help… they come here. Some of these kids see shelter in this charity and we’re here to bring them happiness and tell them it’s okay, you can make it through, you can find a better life.

I’m probably the most touched by this charity and as memories of my own past try to reach me, I push them aside and focus only on the present, on helping these kids. I’m determined to help as much as I can and to be the strongest.

I see Skyler usual I-don’t-give-a-fuck-about-your-life expression tremble when she looks at all these kids, some of them in such bad conditions, some with horrible scars, some of them with so much fear in their eyes that not even the impassive Sky can remain untouched. Leanne seems taken aback and dubious whether to approach one of the kids or not. Emma looks like she doesn’t know how to proceed so I’m the one who takes the first step. Janet is a few feet behind, watching carefully next to Grimmy.

Janet is our manager and she is the closest to a mother figure I have. We really listen to her and respect her. What Janet says is law and she is the only one I can honestly believe cares about our wellbeing and us.

The house for this charity is an old Victorian house of three storeys; we’re in the first one. The main storey only has offices and an infirmary. The first one has rooms for classes and amusement. The second one has the bedrooms for the kids that have to spend the night here.

I approach a boy, he can’t be older than thirteen, with olive-coloured complexion, dark eyes that look at me with weariness, small hands that hold an old copy of The Hunger Games too tightly, his knuckles white due to the pressure.

“Hi,” I say softly, kneeling next to his chair to be at the same height. “I’m Tammy and it’s my pleasure to make your acquaintance,” I say in my most polite tone, hoping that may help but he seems confused. “I’m just happy to meet you,” I add next and his eyes widen with understanding.

“I’m Ray,” he said, his voice small and a bit shaky, but he coughs to clear his throat. “Why are you here?”

I smile widely before answering. “We came here to meet you all and make friends. I’m in this very cool band. Have you heard about Prodigy? We’re the best,” I tell him with a little wink and playful smile and he, a bit uncertain, smiles back at me for a second before shaking his head. I gasp faking he’s offended me, and this makes him smile wider. “Then you must! These girls there” –I point at my band mates– “are with me in this band. I’m sure we can play something for all of you. Would you like that?”

“Yes,” he answers and his voice sounds a bit stronger, more certain.

“Sweet. We’re just gonna need our instruments, or do you have something here?” I ask and I see how he is getting more comfortable with me around.

“We have a music room, but it’s not really good,” he answers and I see shame in his eyes. Poor little boy, he shouldn’t know about these things, he shouldn’t feel like this.

“Don’t worry, we’ll manage. Now, do you mind giving me a tour? It’s the first time I come here and this house is big. And I wanna meet your friends,” I tell him and he seems to ponder the option for a second before closing the book and jumping to his feet. I do the same and before I can ask something else, he takes my hand in his.

“I like you, you’re nice,” he says smiling honestly at me and that only gesture warms my whole body. I can’t help smiling back with all my heart. “Come here,” Ray adds next and like that he guides me around the house.

Leanne, Emma and Kay, after seeing me with the boy, approach other kids and the camera guy that came with Grimmy starts shooting. Later, these videos will be posted online, asking people to support this cause.

Ray is a pretty sweet boy and he tells me that he lives in that house now because his father told him he didn’t want to see him anymore. He threw him away with only what he was wearing, and that he was on the street, but someone found him and brought him here. After that, I can’t let go of his hand.

Soon, we create a bond. Ray trusts me and he smiles at me all the time and I’m happy to see this. What happened to him is terrible, he doesn’t deserve it, thus I feel the need to do all I can to make him happy, to show him that not because he has a shitty father means that other people can’t love him.

One surprise I wasn’t expecting that day and that I guess Grimmy knew about but didn’t want to say a thing was how we’re not the only band supporting this cause.

I didn’t think I was going to see him again and I see the surprise in his eyes when he sees me here too. For a moment we only stare at each other in utter shock, until I feel Ray tightening his grip on my hand.

“They are One Direction!” Ray exclaims and only then I blink and break eye contact with Liam Payne.

“See? Many people came to see you!” I tell Ray thought I didn’t even know they were coming today, too.  I just hope they will be nice with the kids. No one needs pompous snob posh people here.

“Yay!” He cheers and I look at the five boys again, hoping they will treat these boys nicely. They better!

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I'm sorry I didn't update before, I just got home like half an hour ago. The gif is so you can forgive me :3

The official ship name for Tammy and Liam is #Tiam so feel free to tweet it xD By the way, prepare to see a different side of Tammy in the next chapter. You only saw a glimpse now. 

Dedication to @DaniGomes for her amazing comment!

Bel, xx