Chapter 31 ~ Liam

I wake up with Tammy in my arms, her head resting on my torso and with my arms loosely wrapped around her. At the sight of her reddish and messy hair spread over my skin, a smile makes its way to my lips and I tighten my grip around her, kissing her forehead. It is still hard to believe that we are like this, that she is here with me. When we met I never thought we could end up like this and I’m glad that I never imagined it because it makes it sweeter now. I’ve fallen so hard for this girl, for this strong and so complex girl. A girl who doesn’t show the rest of the world what she hides under her masks. A girl who makes the world hate her because she can’t handle the disappointment of trying to make someone like you but not succeeding, so she doesn’t even try. A girl who has been so alone all her life but who nows has allowed me to keep her company.

Tammy stirs next to me, and when she looks up to meet my eyes, my smile is ever so wide. “Morning,” I tell her stroking her hair and she smiles back at me. “Ready to start the day?”

“Ugh,” is her reply and I laugh. “How’re you feeling today? Did the fever go away?” She asks next when she is a bit more lucid. Immediately, her hand goes to my forehead checking if everything is under control.

“Much better, thanks to you. You’re a fairly good nurse, Tammy,” I tell her and she smiles cockily

“I have many talents, Noob,” and she winks at me.

We stay in the bed for a little while before we get up and join the others. They are still a bit taken aback for Tammy being here, with me. They don’t talk to her and she doesn’t try to make conversation, nor she teases them. I guess she is trying to be ‘nice’ just for my sake. I don’t think my friends will accept what we have soon and Tammy won’t push them on that. She already believes the lads will never accept her, so she won’t even try; but I wish they could prove her wrong. I wish she would see how people could really like her if she lets them.

We have many things to do, interviews, promo, rehearsal, sound-check and shooting for the documentary. Kay tells me she is ready to work with me if I want and she even tells Tammy she could be in.

“I rather not,” she replies with a smile. “Let the noob shine. It’s his documentary.” And she winks at Kay who laughs but then she groans.

Apparently, that party last night was pretty epic and for what I know, she left with Louis but he is avoiding her and everyone else. He did apologise to everyone, including Dave, but still, he is kind of weird. He seems to be in another world. Maybe too lost in his thoughts? But I know Tammy is right, what happened after that football game is a turning point for Louis. Let’s hope it’s for the best.

The day goes by smoothly and Tammy is near me all the time and I know she is back to her normal self. She is back with her dark humour and the tough appearance. She doesn’t let the others see how much she is hurt inside, but when she is with me, she allows herself a break and as she does that, I do the same. I don’t feel like I have to please her, like I feel with everyone else. I don’t feel like I have to be what Tammy wants because she doesn’t want anything but what I already give her. All what she needs is me by her side. She doesn’t need a bad, tough-looking boy. She just needs me because with me she can let all her guards off and be the exhausted girl she is.

I never knew how tiresome it was to be pretending all the time. All the smiles, all the comments I had to swallow because I knew no one would approve of. All the times I had to pretend to be okay with something because that was what I was supposed to do. But with Tammy I feel like I don’t have to pretend, I just have to let it be. And that’s so refreshing. I’ve lost myself in my restless effort to please everyone, but Tammy has given me the space and chance to find myself again and I didn’t know until now how much I needed that.

I know some fans have seen us together already and probably paparazzi, as well. I know the Internet must be speculating already, trying to make sense out of all that has happened and a part of me is scared of what they may say. I know Tammy is used to all this. Just like it’s my job to deal with the media, so is it hers; but I’m still worried about what they may say about her. I don’t like people hating on Tammy for the way she acts because they don’t know anything about her; they are just misjudging her. But I don’t know if I can stand up for her.

First, I know my bosses won’t approve of this. Second, my mother already forbade me to see Tammy. Third, my best mates can’t still come to terms with my relationship. I’m against too many important people in my life, but I don’t want to fail Tammy.

“Hey, Noob,” she calls me after our gig is over and we’re chilling at the dressing room before going back to the hotel. “You look gloomy. You feeling poorly again?” she asks throwing herself to the sofa next to me and touching my forehead.

“I’m okay, just thinking,” I reply and she tsks at me.

“You shouldn’t give that much work to your poor and lonely brian cell. I told you already,” she teases, making me smile. How is possible that I find cute her cruel jokes now?

“I can’t help it, I was thinking of what everyone is saying about us,” I tell her passing my arm over her shoulder and bringing her close to my body.

She cuddles next to me and I love the way she fits next to me. It’s not like two pieces of the same puzzle, it’s more like broken pieces of a broken vase that have been put together again, but there’s still something missing, and I guess that’s maybe me. I’m still finding myself, learning to stop pleasing everyone and standing for myself, just like Tammy does.

“Noob, you need to learn to manage all this. I’ll give you a course! How To Manage Hatred 101,” she speaks ever so excited taking her mobile out of her back pocket and getting comfortable next to me again. “Let’s go to twitter,” she instructs launching the app and then going to her mentions. I cringe when I start to see the negative comments towards her. All the death threats and insults, telling her to get away from me. “Now, don’t focus on what they say, but on how they say it and what it means. Look at all their mistakes! They can’t even spell right,” she says and I start to pay attention. If you really read what they are saying, considering their mistakes, you really read another completely incoherent thing. Now I understand why people bug me for the way I tweet… My laziness and desire to look carefree on twitter made me only look like a fool. “Now, those who write proper English… Well, appreciate the effort they put on to all this. I mean, they are spending time just to tell you they hate you. Isn’t that thoughtful? They could be doing anything else, like having fun, clubbing, making friends, but no, they are spending that time on you. They could have an actual social life, but they care so much about us that they have to let us know they hate us. Isn’t that cute?” I chuckle at the way she puts things. “Don’t you feel the intensity in their words? Can’t you feel the fury with which they type those words? I feel touched, you know? I could shed a tear.” I laugh out loud this time, hiding my face in her hair to kiss her ear one time.

“That’s a very interesting way to see it,” I confess because I would totally feel down after reading so much hate on twitter. I wouldn’t ever want to see it, but Tammy is actually having a blast whilst scrolling down her mentions.

“Have you heard that expression ‘kill them with kindness’?” She asks me and I nod. “There’s nothing more rewarding that knowing you have won with your comeback. See this.”

ur such a whore! Leave liam alone! worthless cunt!!!

Reads one tweet and with a huge grin, Tammy presses the icon to reply and writes back.

I didn’t know I had a whore! Thank you so much. I’ve always wanted one. u’r* so kind.

I chuckle again because soon that same person replies and with a new mistake that Tammy also points out… and then another, and another and Tammy is having so much fun. Other people are laughing as well and finally the person gives up and Tammy looks at me with a humongous grin on her face.

“See? I won.” She winks and I see she’s won many new followers that claim she is amazing for her comebacks. “Now you try. Take,” she says handing me her phone and I just pick a random tweet.

you’re such a bitch. no one will ever love you. just kill yourself now!

It hurts the part it says no one will love Tammy because I know she feels like that, but I do love her and that person is so wrong she deserves a rude comeback. So I type.

But who would make Liam look tougher? He needs this bitch

I look at Tammy for confirmation and she is smiling proud of me, so I hit send but before that, I take a picture of Tammy and I trying to look like badass rock stars, sticking our tongues and everything. The replies to that one are hundreds and I start to see why Tammy says it’s so fun. When you only mess with them instead of taking seriously what they say, it’s so much easier. We actually spend almost an hour just replying to haters with pictures, from her account and mine and I know our followers are enjoying the show and after that, we replied to some nice fans, as well. Just so they won’t feel the need to send hate to get noticed.

We leave twitter with one last tweet, and it’s almost the same for both of us:

Thanks. Whether you say nice or bad things, I appreciate your time ;)

+ + + + +

We’re back at home and although the lads still haven’t told me anything, they don’t look so disapproving of my relationship with Tammy. They look confused. Well, all except Louis. It’s funny because Tammy says she likes Louis the best just because he is full of hatred, and Louis is the one who hates her the most, and maybe that’s what she likes about him.

Tammy is very special. I’ve noticed how she likes bad comments the best because those amuse her and she knows how to reply to them, but when they say nice things, she can barely say thanks and she does more in an automatic way. And sometimes, just to make her smile, I tell her she is awful and her smile is so bright and precious it makes me laugh. I think this has become our thing and it’s great because no one else can understand us. It’s like our own code.

When I told Tammy about this, she laughed at me. “You’re such a kid, sometimes.” But then she took my face and pulled until our lips collided in one soft kiss. “And I really like that.” I smiled before deepening the kiss.

When we’re back we go to You Matter and I know some of they know about Tammy and I already because they smile at us like Cheshire cats, which is kind of amusing. Even Roxy is delighted, saying she always knew we would end up together. The only one who is not amused is Rose; she is even avoiding me.

“Maybe she is jealous,” Tammy tells me and pushes me softly to go after Rose, who is playing with her doll in a corner of the room.

I walk up to where the little girl is and sit with my legs crossed in front of her. She looks at me for a few seconds before focusing on her doll again, “Hi, Rose. How are you, love? I’ve missed you.” I say but no words come out of her mouth.

I wonder if she will ever tell something to me… to anyone. I know she has problems at school because no one can make her speak, but she is physically fine. She has no disability. She simply doesn’t want to talk.

“Did you miss me?” I ask and without meeting my eyes, she nods ever so slightly. “Then why don’t you want to look at me?” I inquire next and she shrugs, but I see the blush in her cheeks and my smile widens. “Could it be ‘cos you’re jealous that now I have a girlfriend?”

At my suggestion she blushes even more and hides her face in behind her doll, so I chuckle and carefully take the doll out of the way, but she avoids me. Still carefully, I take her by the waist and pull her against my chest.

“Oh, love, you don’t have to! Tammy may be my girlfriend now, but you’re definitely my little princess. You don’t have to be jelly.” She looks at me with these big puppy eyes and I chuckle again as I stroke her tick black curls. “Are we okay now? Do I have your approval to date Tammy?” I ask her and she looks at Tammy for a second over my shoulder. I haven’t exactly asked her to be my girlfriend, but it’s implicit. There’s no other way to call it.

Rose looks at me now and a small smile makes its way to her lips before she nods vigorously and my own smiles widens before I hug her and she hugs me back really tightly.

“Thank you,” I tell her and I hear her giggle and with that I know things are okay between us.

I turn around to look at Tammy who is watching us and I smile at her, giving me a thumb-up and she smiles back at me, happy that Rose and I are okay again.

-:-:-:-

As I said in B&S, after these stories are over I'll be writing Unwonted (that's the spelling of the word, okay? It's not unwanted). That's story is a retell of Backfire from Niall's POV. After Unwonted (UW for short) I'll be writing another Liam story, but this one will be AU and it makes me really excited. It's called The Comeback. And I'll be also posting another Niall Story (Call Me Ella). In order to know to know when I start posting those, follow me here if you don't do that already.

Dedication to @sup_everyone because I really appreciate all your commetns, the countdown and all your excitement. Thank you <3

Bel, xx