I let loose a shaky breath, my breathing hitched and my nose twitched just like my eyes shuttered. I resisted my knuckles whitening as I gripped the steering wheel tighter stubbornly resisting the urge to let any walls fall and cave back down upon myself as I drove home.

Normality I kept chanting to myself. You’re going to drive home normally, being your usual law abiding pace with your usual favorite music. You’re going to park in the drive way and walk inside to greet your parents as if nothing has changed. Normal, you’re going to be normal, this is all normal.

A barked a soft mirthless laugh under my breath, this was far from normal. My life and world was crashing down all around me; I found the school’s popular girl dead, I was the center and focus of the entire school, a popular guy was suddenly following me around like a lost puppy and now some freak was sending me threatening and quite frankly fucking terrifying messages. But no, I agree, this was normal I thought to myself sardonically.

I couldn’t have gotten out of that room quick enough, the rooms had felt like they’d been closing and caging in upon me and for the first time I experienced what it was like to feel an extreme case of claustrophobia. Coupled with my usual yet way more alarming cases of a panic attack – or as I now claim a mental breakdown – it was definitely a day for firsts.

I’d been interrupted from my breakdown by the rattling of the room’s door making me yelp in terror. Mrs. Talmen made some snarky comment through the door coupled with some muttering and mumbling that fell upon for once deaf ears. I instead scrambled hastily to my feet with such eager haste and threw myself at the door; I had torn it open and got the hell out of there not caring if I knocked Mrs. Talmen over along the way.

I had thrown myself in my car, slamming the door and locking them all before checking over my shoulder for any possible creeps in the backseat of my car like those horrible clichéd horror stories. Before I could even sigh in relief I had my car gunned up and roaring and I was speeding out of the car park trying to keep it all together as I pep talked myself into the direction of normality and sanity.

My hands continued to shake and therefore I continued to clench them, my grip flexing around the steering wheel with each passing second that I felt my resolve slipping. I needed some form of a distraction, an escape from these terrorizing nightmare-like thoughts; this all seemed so surreal, fake. It was like some corny clichéd movie or show you saw on TV, maybe I’d been watching one too many episodes of Pretty Little Liars.

I pulled into the driveway, my car growling under the sharp hasty turn. I needed to run, to keep moving and for my thoughts to never catch up with me. I wanted the impossible, magic, a spell. And yet the only one who’s able to put me under a spell wasn’t here right now. Gavin. No matter what happens in my life – even seconds before laying eyes on him – I was guaranteed to be shaken up and left with no recollection of what was shaking and ridding me senseless. He managed to take all around me away and leaving me feeling like there was no one else in the room, in the world. He left me feeling blessed, a giddy teenager who was swooning over their latest crush left breathless with every glance, every touch and every single damn hypnotizing smile. Most importantly though, no matter what he managed to always make me feel safe.

“Wow, where’s the fire?” a voice asked behind me in amusement just as I slammed my door shut hard enough to rattle my car.

I startled at Kate, she sat there sitting on my front porch steps with an easy grin. She seemed so content and normal sitting there, I detested that. How can someone so close be so far away because you were in completely different worlds?

I shook my head speechless, not trusting my voice to even and try and answer her question. Even if I wanted to be honest how was I meant to answer it when I didn’t even know where the fire was coming from? Who was coming for me?

She captured her bottom lip, hesitating and pausing in thought. It made me curious as I watched her closer, since when had Kate ever hesitated to come out and say something to me? Where was her fire? With my own pursed lips and studying eyes a pang of guilt coiled deep within as a strong possibility about her stand-offish stance hit me. Kate and I hadn’t been around each other so much, I’d been neglectful, selfish and self-absorbed. I’d spent all my time spent with Gav and when it wasn’t him I was wrapped up in my own world of treachery, deceit and murder.

“Hey,” I spoke up catching Kate’s attention “you wouldn’t happen to want to come dress hunting with me?” I asked offering her a slow easy grin.

Kate’s smile grew and yet her eyes brightened more and that was all the answers and relief I needed as I sighed softly under my breath “You haven’t got your dress already?” she demanded in utter horror and yet her eyes still betrayed her  own excitement and relief.

I gave her a sheepish and yet awkward apologetic glance “No?” I asked rather than stated with a squeaky voice as she went all strict mother on me.

Before I could even blink an eye her arm was threading through mine and she was dragging me right back to the car I was beginning to feel claustrophobic in. yet now it didn’t seem too confined, now it felt so empty. I sat in the car driving with Kate, the music blaring – I made sure it was a playlist she enjoyed also – as we sang along with the windows down and Kate babbling and gushing the whole time about how exciting it was to go dress shopping not to mention it was for me, the shy girl going to the Senior Festival with one of the most gushed about boys. I tried with all my might to drive with a giant smile, to sing along at the top of my lungs along with and most importantly to smile and find that normality.

But I just couldn’t.

I prayed that getting absorbed and sucked into a world of dresses, frills, lace, glitter, and pink would be enough of an agonizing distraction.

***

“I can’t believe you forgot.” Kate mumbled under her breath for the dozenth time as she continued to hastily flick through the countless racks of dresses and clothes on the racks at yet another boutique dress shop.

I just rolled my eyes as I simply just continued to watch her flick through them and glance over her shoulder; she’d shoved me out of the road and control in the first five minutes of the first store we stepped into. Patience was one thing Kate didn’t have and apparently I wasn’t moving quickly enough for her liking, apparently I was cutting it pretty short. I guess with it being Tuesday and the Festival Friday night she had a point.

My eye caught sight of a lovely deep purple mauve colored dress to only have my desires plummet, it was a halter dress and I certainly didn’t look flattering in a halter dress. I hated dress shopping or shopping in general, I always had such expectations to only have them crushed; I could never find a dress that was perfectly the same as what I dreamt. It always made me inclined to the idea of making my own, at least that way I had a say in each and every detail.

But that was exactly my problem, the dress I pictured in my mind I certainly couldn’t create especially in such a short amount of time. But I also definitely wasn’t going to find the dress that I pictured in mind in one of these shots, the dress I pictured in my mind was definitely different and wasn’t something of the latest fashion. Maybe a hundred years or more so it was ago.

“We’re not going to find it.” I muttered under my breath, a pout to my lower lip.

Kate sighed wearily “Well tell me what you’re looking for and we’ll see.” She said offering me her optimism.

I puffed out a breath, my fringe and hair around my face dancing about. Grabbing her hand I tugged and steered her out of the extremely over-priced and over-praised boutique and out into the cool late afternoon night.

“Wait, what!” cried Kate startled “I hadn’t even finished the first rack!” she protested a sulk in her lower lip, if there was something Kate relied upon it was shopping.

“It doesn’t matter, we weren’t going to find it in there.” I sighed softly again as I lazily towed her along with down the hall trying to think of where I could possibly ever lay my eyes upon

“Oooo, are we going thrift shopping?” Kate cooed in excitement, vintage was most definitely her style.

The corner of my lip twitched up “You could say that.” I hummed in amusement; this was definitely more than just some sort of vintage thrift shopping.

“Tell me what we’re searching for!” she insisted jiggling her legs in a practically a childlike manner making me chuckle softly under my breath in amusement.

“Okay, calm down!” I teased holding my hands up as if someone was holding a gun to my head “It’s a masquerade themed ball, so I wanted to match it to the era that sort of thing started. You know, with the extravagant ball gowns and all.”

Kate just blinked at me.

I sighed, I needed to meet her half way and give her something that she could picture and visualize in her own mind. I was the history buff here and she was the pop culture buff. “Like…like the ball gown Taylor Swift wore in her video clip, ‘Love Story’” I said turning towards her “something from those days, I mean the Senior Festival is a themed party of masquerade so I’m sticking to it completely. Not just a flimsy tiny masquerade mask and some slutty dress.” I continued on hastily, hastily to help her make an understanding of my dream outfit.

Instantly a beaming grin grew across her face “Oh that dress was absolutely stunning!” Kate gushed her grin only seeming to grow as she got lost in her own thoughts “I love that music video.” Her grin once again slipped from her face “Where on earth are we supposed to get a dress like that, and one that doesn’t cost a fortune?”

I sighed dismally; I was desperately holding on to the idea that Kate’s optimism would keep my own hopes afloat “I know.”

Kate’s gasp of discovery, of a light bulb going off in her head was like music to my ears, but I soon became quite easily startled as she wrapped her grip tightly around my wrist and dragged me up the opposite end of our street in all new direction and away from the trendy boutique stores.

“Kate,” I laughed breathlessly “where are we going?” I demanded.

She laughed eagerly, buoyantly “Our very own costume store.”

I laughed; my formal dress for the Senior Festival from a costume shop?

I always liked to be different.

***

“I found two!” Kate cried across from the empty shop.

The quaint little shop was full of countless thick and heavy racks upon racks of costumes and clothes and yet the only other person in this entire store apart from Kate and I was the little old lady who owned it; Mrs. Annie who had made every single costume and outfit from scratch and by hand. Each and every one was perfect, designed to utter perfection and detail. Yet sadly she struggled with the store, who cared about actual detailed costumes when you could buy them online and they always showed flesh, skimpy clichéd American Halloween outfits?

My head snapped up from the other side of the shop where I was admiring the costume of Tweety Bird, I had always loved him when I was a little girl. I had all of his stuffed versions, the paintings and bed covers and I watched every Looney Tunes episode I could find. I had stood there looking at it giggling under my breath at the thought of me walking into a hall full of girls in lavish ball gowns and me to be waddling around in an every inch covered costume dressed like a yellow canary.

In the end though Kate had dragged me over to the fitting rooms and shoved me inside with the two possible costumes. She shoved the curtain shut and stood on the other side constantly asking questions and urging me to hurry up and show myself in the gowns. It wasn’t easy to be rushed changing such gowns, they were heavy and floor length and bloody agonizing to get the hang of. Luckily I had Mrs. Annie there to show me how it was done.

Kate and I had stumbled up to the counter with our arms both full as we carried the one gown decided on to the counter. With all that was included plus not wanting to drag it along the ground since it was a new edition, a gown that had never been worn we sat it down on the counter and I bought what was labeled as a costume when really all I saw it as was an elegant master piece.

Stepping back out of the store and onto the street we were left with now with the task to buy a mask for the masquerade and some shoes to go with the gown. We walked along the street gushing and talking so animatedly about the costume with excitement, for the first time in a long time without a care in the world.

“Hmmm, I think I have a pair of shoes you could borrow.” Kate hummed in deep thought as we walked carelessly, with no set destination as it was nearing the end of dusk “I mean they’ll go as well as any heels can with such a gown, not to mention it’s a floor length gown; no one will see.”

I hummed in agreement “Which pair?” I asked, I knew Kate’s closet like the back of my hand, when you have a best friend who had a love for fashion and who you shared the same size shoe with you tend to be able to remember their closest like the back of your hand.

“They’re those pearl-cream-like heels, with the elegant strap around the ankle and the thick wedge-like heel.” She explained for me meeting me also half way, she could have called them her Jimmy Choo’s and I would have just stared at her blankly.

 “Ohhhh yeah, they’re cute!” I said my nose crinkling up in glee just like my grin grew in excitement, this outfit was coming together!

Kate nodded eagerly in agreement, she was always proud over her shoe collection “So that just leaves us with a mask.” She trailed off with pursed lips.

I hummed in thought also “We can’t buy one offline, what’s the chance they’ll get mailed here in time?”

“Damn you and your lateness!” Kate growled in mock frustration.

I screwed my nose up with crooked lips as I couldn’t help but agree one hundred percent; I had practically two to three days to get an outfit. In female world that was practically suicide, however I seemed to love a challenge. 

“Where on earth can we find a masquerade mask here?” she growled in distaste “All the other girls and even guys would have already bought theirs, so how on earth are we supposed to find a good one?” she demanded looking up and down the street and back and forth across either side of the street as if she’d find a big ‘X’ to mark the spot.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I mumbled sarcastically under my breath as she only seemed to make my nerves and anxiety skyrocket, what had gotten into me?

I’d been so god damn excited for this Festival – despite the anxious nerves of all the others attending outside Gavin – and yet somehow it’d never crossed my mind to find my outfit, was all this crazy crap going a legit reason to forget? My inner girl who was swooning like a fan girl all over Gavin begged to differ.

Drawing out of my thoughts I glanced up and looked around to find myself completely abandoned and stranded on our main streets path “What…?” I struggled glancing around looking for Kate, where on earth had she disappeared off to?

“Oi, moron!” I could hear her hiss starling me again once more, I snapped around towards her hiss to find her by the door to an old wooden door with large glass panes painted white, it looked thick like it’d been coated over multiple times and yet never sanded back. It had this old charm to it, quaint almost.

“What are you doing?” I asked her bewildered almost spluttering, when would I ever become accustomed to this girls craziness?

“I think I found something!” she sang giving me a childish and yet taunting little finger wiggle before disappearing into the shop leaving the cute sound of a door attached to the door jingling and rattling.

I puffed out a breath, my hair dancing out of my eyes as I looked at the store closer. It was a store I’d never once stepped foot into, if anything I didn’t even know this store existed. It fell under the radar with the simple and if anything boring front store window and door, I’d never glimpsed at it or needed to so in my mind I instantly thought of it as an empty store owned by no one.

I realized though with one glance it was an old little vintage shop, from the outside it was needed for an uplifting, there were white doors and windows with large window panes. In the window there was a cute and old looking table and chair set, a huge vanity mirror and a few other cute vintage items that had me tilting my head in curiosity. It looked narrow, the store barely wide enough to have even two window shoppers. The windows needed it seemed for a dust down and just some color, something to grab your eyes and make you eager to go in.

With little expectations I stepped into the shop to have all my expectations to be challenged, narrow may the store be but it made up with by how deep the store ran. Surprisingly and admirably they knew exactly how to utilize the space given to them, they used it wonderfully to show off all their cute and charming sale items, all vintage and all holding character, a story.

Everything was so adorable and I simply just wanted to take everything home, I kept breathing and gasping at some new thing I fell in love with or how they showed them. They had all these little quirky things, like a cute little English tea cup on its saucer with the most stunning gold earrings threaded with these gorgeous emerald beads. There were so many little things in here that were hidden to the eye unless you really looked; I could spend a whole month in here discovering a new item every single time.

“Hey over here, I think I found something!” Kate called out to me softly as if we were in a library and yet I myself whispered back, the place seemed too delicate, too enchanting to disrupt.

I reached Kate who was standing in front of a hat rack near the counter, it was polished and stunning hat rack that was hidden under the countless hats, bags and scarves and even some other little random things hanging off upon it. Kate had actually lifted off countless layers to find what she held in her hands, her dainty hands treating the item as if she was holding the world. I guess on our quest she was.

An inaudible left my lips as I glanced over her shoulder at the item, she turned to me and our eyes locked, a silent conversation shared. She looked at the mask than at me before holding it up to my face, a smile slivered along her lips “Perfect.”

An elderly lady seemed to step out of nowhere looking dainty and yet certainly peaceful “May I help you young girls?” she asked softly, her voice so delicate and fine that you couldn’t help but want to just pick her up and take her home. She was lovely sweet.

Kate walked over towards her to the counter with a friendly and ecstatic smile as she placed the mask on the counter “Yes, I’d like to purchase this thank you.”

***

I walked out of the quaint yet memorable little vintage store with a torn churning feeling in my stomach, Kate laughed leaving the store and I tried to keep up. I was after all relieved and completely ecstatic to have my outfit for The Senior Festival sorted and prepared so quickly and easily with such limited time. Yet, I was conflicted with the reality that seemed to barrel me over as soon as we stepped out into the cool breeze of outside. The breeze seemed to slap me back into reality as I instantly thought of the message boldly displayed on the computer screen not even hours ago.

My stomach lurched as my heart thundered, my skin prickled and suddenly I didn’t feel safe standing openly out on our main street. Wasn’t it bizarre when you couldn’t even stand on your small town’s main street without feeling nervous, in danger? I guess you realize things have become serious when you suddenly don’t feel safe until you’re in the safe refines of your own house or a padded white cell.

My mind spiraled as numbly I followed Kate along blindly, not having any idea as to where I was being led. To my death possibly? I felt breathless as I thought back to the message on the computer screen, the person that wrote it had to have obviously been watching me, stalking me. They knew I was in that computer room, wanting to use those computers and better yet they knew I was studying and searching for information about Jack the Ripper.

Further yet they obviously had been watching me for longer than this, they’d been threatening me about knowing something, something that could get them in deep trouble. They’d threaten for me to bite my tongue. But bite my tongue from saying what? I didn’t even know what valuable things I apparently knew! How was I meant to keep safe and figure this out when I didn’t even know?

I knew what I needed to do; I needed to figure out why this freak felt threatened by me, what I knew that made them anxious and nervous. What did I know that I could use against them, was it what ‘GP+CC’, or could it possibly be about Cindy?

I was shaken awake with a terrified yelp as Kate’s elbow connected with my ribs, I stumbled faintly and she latched onto me to right me. I shot her a look of utter bewilderment and a glare as I rubbed my ribs; that had bloody hurt! She gave me a meaningful glance and I suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu as I turned to look at who had met us half way and was standing before us.

I glanced up to only feel breathless and scorched as a bloody crimson crawled upon my cheeks as I laid my eyes upon to find Gavin and Phil just like us ready to open the door to one of our local and favored cafés for the teens and takeaway.

My eyes connected with Gav’s beaming face, my lips curled into a soft shy smile upon their own accord as I whispered a shy and yet almost dazed “Hey.”

Kate reached for the door and the bell rattled “A table for four?” she suggested, Gav nodded his gaze never once leaving me and his grin seeming to grow as he watched me squirm.

“Cool.” Phil murmured as he slid in passed Kate as she held the door open before she followed him as Gav took the door holding it open for me. I looked down blushing as I slid passed him getting a gigantic whiff of his intoxicating manly spice. Oh how alluring.

Finding one of the booths in the café we all slid into the booth with the girls on one side and the boys on the other, both Gav and I finding ourselves against the wall as Phil and Kate insisted they’d go order for us all once we decided. A silence enveloped us that felt almost awkward as you could hear the awkward rustle of the bags I carried with tissue paper surrounding the dress. No matter how much I tried to quiet down the sound it seemed to only become louder and I only seemed to struggle and trip over my own feet more.

“Shopping girls?” Phil asked in amusement just as I sat down thinking I’d settled down without having any more bloodier painted cheeks. He sure proved me wrong.

Kate giggled with ease “Steph was.” She corrected.

“Did you buy much?” Gav spoke up, his voice also teasing as my big large bag begged to differ. I squirmed under his warm gaze avoiding all of their eyes as I glanced at my hands on the table like the biggest wimp.

“This one,” Kate laughed pushing me gently on the arm teasingly “forgot an outfit for this Friday night.”

I pulled a curl behind my ear as I looked down, my face darkening even more as I squirmed. Why was I so shy suddenly? A part of me I realized was terrified of Gavin knowing that, would he think that would show that I was disinterested to go, that I didn’t want to go? I didn’t want him to think that, I wanted him to think I was poised and prepared, excited also. Not some crazy and unorganized fool that had left it to the last minute, I wanted him to take me seriously.

“Really?” Phil asked in disbelief adding to my anxiety and worry.

I decided to toughen up and at least glance up at Phil to reply but still avoiding Gav’s warm piercing gaze that I could feel all over me, dancing as he watched me closely. Besides, maybe if I could look at Phil maybe I could somehow strangle him with my eyes getting him to shut up and quit making it worse, or at least seem worse.

“Did you manage to get it all then?” Phil asked meeting my gaze.

I smiled “Everything I wanted.” I said back easily, feeling if anything smug that it was all good news, like I hadn’t failed.

Kate came to my aid “She’s going to look totally amazing, stunning.” She gushed like some embarrassing proud mum.

I rolled my eyes “Lying is a sin Kate.” I murmured with a quirked lip as she shot me a scathingly look which I ignored.

“C’mon, we’ll go order.” Phil suggested sliding out of the booth not even asking Gav what he wanted, Kate just looked at me and tilted my head silently agreeing that she could order whatever and I’d like it, she knew what I hated and liked, usually we just shared a bowl of chips.

We left in a now definitely awkward silence and it was only awkward because I was making it so, I knew that was the case but I just couldn’t help it. I felt that as soon as I looked at Gav he’d be able to see right through my calm and cool façade, he’d see the terror hidden deep in my eyes and he’d demand answers or worse I’d break in tears. I simply couldn’t do that; I refused to allow that to happen.

My fingers twined together restlessly on the café table before us, I fidgeted and my fingers squirmed in the silence to only become startled by Gav’s larges hands that enclosed my small cold ones and I suddenly felt his warmth feed into me, attacking those nightmares leaving me cold and numb.

I glanced up to find soft gentle and yet searching eyes, I tried to look away I did but once those warm deep brown eyes caught your gaze you were lost, held captive in the blissful security “Hey,” he cooed softly, lowering his head again so we were on the same level as I “are you okay?” I just looked at him, my breath completely taken, stolen without a trace.

Kate’s buoyant laughter broke me out of my hypnotized daze, my gaze tearing away from him to glance over to see Kate and Phil laughing, talking with ease. A pang hit my chest, longing I realized as I thoughtfully wistfully; why couldn’t it be that easy for us?

 I sighed softly turning back to face Gavin, smiling softly as I lost myself once again in those warms that swept all around me away “I am now.” I whispered softly not even filtering my thoughts and mouth.

But I guess it was better than coming forward and confessing to Gavin that I was becoming majorly insane thinking that Cindy Crawford was behind her best friend’s – Georgie’s – death.

What I needed before as I walked the streets and stores with Kate was to forget all about the terrors outside this café and small cozy booth. My wish was granted as soon as Gav’s presence appeared and his spicy and manly scent tickled my nose, but was it enough?

“Hey,” Gav cooed softly “if this is about The Senior Festival we can completely cancel.” He suggested easily, not even batting an eye.

I smiled sadly “It’s not that.” I whispered berating myself internally as I knew he’d instantly think the worse after hearing about my lateness of buying an outfit “I really want to go, with you.” I insisted holding those warm eyes of his.

“Than what is it angel?” he murmured softly his face marred with concern, his thumb stroking the palm of my hand soothingly as I shuddered under his touch.

The endearment didn’t fall on deaf ears as my body heated and coiled in glee at such pretty words given to me, blessed to me from this perfect man. It softened me enough to reply with a weak pleading smile and an honest answer “I need a distraction.”

I shuddered as he reached out with his free hand and molded his hand to the side of my face; my body leant into his touch eagerly as my flesh sizzled as if the cold marble of my worried skin was thawing. Those warm molten eyes of his held mine as a very gentle smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he whispered “I know you have really blue eyes.”

My wish was granted as I was wisped off into a tumbling world of butterflies and thundering heartbeats, captivated solely by the man before me with the promising heated coffee eyes.

________________________

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