The next morning I woke up I was utterly excited and bubbly; I couldn’t keep the goofy smile off my face. I was skipping all about with pure happiness and I felt like I was about to explode any minute, my chest felt that light and my heart that whole. I felt like some corny girl from those old fifty black and white films where they hold the back of their hand to their face and sigh dreamily. Next thing I know I’ll begin to skip and sing around lazily and happily, maybe ballets twirl here and there.

It didn’t take long for my mood to be absolutely become evaporated, it happened when Kate barged into my room as I was in bed on my laptop lazing around since it was a Sunday and last night ended late. It was then and there she demanded I’d get ready leaving me clueless and confused. It wasn’t until I was holding my black lace dress and she reminded me – as she had tried yesterday before our water fight – that today was Georgie’s memorial service being held since her body was still in the police’s custody for investigation.

The reminded had the breath knocked out of me, and my gut churning and tightening to the point I felt like someone had ripped all of my insides out and gutting me clean. I felt queasy and sick and with a dry mouth I was desperate to scull back my glass of water and take deep breaths to keep myself in check.

Why wouldn’t I be scared shitless?

With the reminder of today’s occurrences I felt sick, I was to go to this ceremony and sit through all the tears and drama knowing that it was I that found this girl and have to remember it forever and a day. I would also have to endure the whispers and murmurs and the openly staring eyes. Would people think I shouldn’t be there?

The thought of what I was supposed to endure today and a part of me just wanted to sit in the corner and simply just hide under my blanket covers. Yet I also knew that this was something I had to do, if I never I’d always regret it, not to mention I had to face the music. If I didn’t show it’d make me look guilty and a coward and I refused to be in such a weak position again.

So mutely and whimpering and crying on the inside I got myself ready and pulled on the black lace dress that reached just a little below my mid thigh. The sleeves stopped just above my elbow and it was made of lace with my skin visible beneath. I topped it off a chunky silver and black ring, my black chunky heels and let my hair out curled softly around my face with pearl earrings. Elegant and yet nothing party like, a death was nothing to party over.

Georgie’s family was also going to have a funeral for her of course; however the school and Cindy had put together a farewell for her, solely from the school. My parents obviously weren’t going than so Kate drove us to where it was held. It was being held at the lake, where Georgie was known to love water skiing at. There were white fold out wooden chairs spread out with a small stage and flowers with a casual and yet pretty feel to it once coupled with the shining sun and warmth dancing along our skin just around sunset.

Kate and I sat side by side at the memorial mid way along the rows were there were countless people decked out, some I would never had pictured showing up let alone really caring. A lot didn’t even really know here but they were there just out of common courtesy and condolences, you didn’t need to know the victim to mourn. The entire mood all about us was somber, people with their heads down and others looking out on the smooth lake which no one had access to since the lake was closed off for the day. There was no usual teenager chatter on antics; instead it was somber and respectful. The only families or groups here beside school teachers, workers and students, there was Georgie’s family and a few families close to her family.

I sat there, keeping my head down low and listening, avoiding the gazes thrown my way along the way, sparked with curiosity and judging. There was no one in particular I needed or wanted to talk to and I certainly didn’t want to run into Georgie’s parents. What would happen if they began to ask questions in relation to her…discovery? I don’t think I could recall let alone stomach or retell without balling like a baby.

I sat there, listening as students and even some teachers stood up to say a few words about Georgie, tears were shed and even people in the crowd were crying, especially with the few flowers and the enlarge photo of Georgie behind the podium. A constant reminder of why we were here. I had to admit I was emotional with it all, it didn't help having the image of how I found her engrained in my mind either.

Even Cindy and Ben did which was surprising since I hadn’t seen either in the same room together since all this drama. The thought of those two alone in the room….unnerved me. Ben didn’t really scare me, he was in mourning and I felt sorry for him, he hadn’t done anything to make me not trust him or such. Cindy on the other hand, what with her bizarre demeanor, walking out of that janitors closet alone and even her snapping at me sounding jealous of Ben had her on my crazy and simply suspicious list.

Was it her that had slipped that note into that book?

The thought of the note ran through my mind a large sum of the time at the service, it plagued my mind with millions of questions making me feel ever so clueless and downright frightened. No matter how much I tried convincing myself, I couldn’t deny it or try to convince myself that it was meant for someone else and it was a mistake or a joke. It was too coincidental, too raw to be a mistake.So who sent it and why? Was it also Georgie’s killer? And most importantly what was it that I knew that could be used against this person? I didn't even know what it was that I knew, and the more I tried thinking about what it could possibly be the more I ended up empty handed.

In the end I realized that these questions, worries and this desire within me to uncover all of these problems weren’t helping if anything making me more scared and anxious. I simply just wanted to hide back under the covers and not come out until the killer was caught, or maybe never come out. I was scared out of my mind and a part of me felt unsafe, but within such a crowd nothing could go wrong, right?

So that was my new plan, say nothing of note, hope that it was a mistake and that was all and if it wasn’t hope that the person would realize I was no threat and leave me be. I would also let the police investigate on their own and wouldn’t start hunting about, it wasn’t my place and I didn't want to be anymore danger, besides it wasn’t my job, it was theirs. Lastly of course I wouldn’t let it plague my mind and I’d keep to trying to be sane and have fun, to smile. That didn't mean though that I shouldn’t still be cautious, no I’d take precautions, not that there were many to make expect to make sure I wasn’t alone in a dark deserted alley or such. Something from a horror film.

I was happy and content that I had given myself a pep talk, given myself a mental list and coached myself on what was next because tonight and after Kate and I were going out for a tea we were off to a party at Cindy’s. Cindy and her friends and all of Georgie’s decided that the best way to end tonight and celebrate and mourn Georgie’s life was to have fun and numb the pain to get drunk. Great role modelling, right? So, there was a party at Cindy’s house and that’s where Kate and I were going, to mingle have fun and what with having pulled myself together it couldn’t have been better timing.

After all I had been through and all the scares and haunting demons, I thought I deserved a night out to let my hair out and have fun. Besides, if luck was on my side for once, Gavin would be there.

Well, that’s what I was praying for at least.

Ƹ̵Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

When Kate and I stepped into Cindy’s house you could hear and also feel the music’s vibrations from down the end of the street once my parents had dropped us off. Stepping in the party was in full swing, with people from years below, our year, above and even people that had finished school a year or so ago. People were everywhere; dancing, mingling, flirting and even making out to the point I’d question if it was rather sex or such.

Walking about the music vibrated through the walls and floor, pounding heavily with club and chart music, addictive and hypnotizing. Putting you into the mood to go wild and let your hair down. Most of the furniture had been moved to the walls and out of the way, and people where either dancing in the middle of floors or elsewhere, or around the sides of the room talking or in the kitchen topping up on alcohol and more. There was a table where people had cards and it looked to be poker just getting serious and I swore I could see a beer bong tossed to the floor carelessly by the back door.

Kate and I first made our way to the kitchen to get a cup of something, I knew that if I wanted to be seduced by the music and move out onto the floor to be induced completely – which I surely did – I needed a cup or two of alcohol to give my shy, secretive girl the confidence to get out there and dance the night away, as planned.

We filed into the kitchen and took a drink the two of us skimming around, taking note of who we knew, who we didn't whilst checking out some of the girl’s clothes judging and deciding if we liked the clothes. Conversations that any girl had with their friends. We noted that a whole lot of people had changed their clothes after the service – not that it was a surprise – just like Kate had, I hadn’t but instead mixed with my accessories with my dress to make it less formal and sad, but rather party material.

Seconds turned into minutes and hell a minute was half an hour and than an hour. Kate and I weren’t drunk – what with school in the morning – but there certainly was a buzz. We found ourselves out on the dance floor having fun and laughing, a few even talking to us and since I had alcohol in my system I wasn’t as shy as they expected, I think a lot of them found it as a shock, amusing and even refreshing.

I knew I was enjoying.

Dancing out there with Kate a song by Example called Changed The Way You Kissed Me came on just as I spotted him. There Gavin was, less than five meters from me talking with some guy I realized as his friend, he was talking but as I laughed at something Kate said his eyes looked up and met mine, a huge grin spreading along his lips making my smile only grow larger back as I gave him a wink and disappeared further into the throng of dancing bodies.

When did I become such a tease?

I continued dancing leaving Gavin off to have his fun and I to have my own, it wasn’t until I slid to the side of the room excusing myself from Kate. I instead found the stairs ready to go to the toilet just as a warm gentle hand reached out to my bare arm, halting me and making me catch my breath.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you ages.” A soft voice said, amused and yet happy.

I spun around smiling cheekily “Well you’d be awful at playing Where’s Wally than wouldn’t you?” I teased.

He chuckled, his eyes sparkling nicely as he stood before me in loose, hip hugging jeans and a white buttoned up shirt and in all honesty I was happy standing their openly gaping at him. But he interrupted my staring “You know you should drink more often, I like seeing you this happy and carefree.”

I pressed a hand to my chest, astounded with a mock gasp “Are you saying that you want me to change?” I demanded, my buzz giving me little time to really honestly care about that comment and dwell on it forever like usual.

Gavin’s eyes grew alarmed “No! I’m just saying, you’re adorable when you’re drunk and that it’s nice to see you happy and out there dancing and....” he trailed off seeing my gigantic smile that grew and grew “What?” he asked, his voice quavering slightly only making my smile grow.

“I’m not drunk, I’m just super happy.” I said honestly.

Gavin sighed a soft sigh of relief as he ran his hand through his hair “You’re just happy now that I’m here, isn’t that right?” he taunted giving me a wink.

I giggled softly like a school girl that Kate and I had always mocked other girls for doing, I whacked him playfully “Don't flatter yourself; your head is already big enough that you can't fit it through the door.”

It was Gav’s turn to gasp dramatically “Well I can tell when I’m not wanted.” He sniffled pretending to cry behind his hands as he turned.

I giggled again as I reached out grabbing his hand “No stay, I’ll talk to you.” I caved turning him around with my hold on his arm.

Gav chuckled “Alright, by the way you look-“

“I was just going to go to the ladies first, so just hold one second?” I asked giving him a cute little innocent face as I resisted the urge to do the toilet dance, my bladder shrivelling and shrinking no thanks to the alcohol consumed.

Gav sighed dramatically “I guess I can wait a second or two.”

I smiled “Thank you!” I cried throwing my arms around him before racing up the stairs to the bathroom.

I was jittering with nerves and excitement at the prospect of hanging out with Gavin for the rest of the night; he was downstairs right now at this very moment waiting for me! I was ready to do a happy dance – or was that because I needed to use the loo? – and skip around a bit before going back to the dance floor and sing and dance the night away on this new buzz not from alcohol but purely adrenaline excitement. I couldn’t get over the fact of what happened just moments earlier, I was flirting with Gavin and if I was right he was flirting back. Or at least I hoped he was. The thought of it alone made me feel all jittery and wild.

Going to the toilet I saw there was a tad of a line, two girls ahead of me waiting and I leant against the wall with a gigantic grin, like the cherished cat. As time wore on and leaning against the wall agitated to get back to Gav quickly and bored waiting it gave me a bit for my buzz to simmer. I basically ran in once it was free for me, I walked in and quickly did my business before re-coating my lips with my bright red lipstick and adjusting myself in the mirror.

Having noticed my earring awkward and sliding out the front of my ear I brushed my hair aside as I pushed open the door and stepped out into the hall hesitating as I adjusted it, tilting my head to the side. It was doing so that my eyes landed on the door right in front of me, opposite to the bathroom’s door.

Cindy’s bedroom door.

It had her name in calligraphy styled silver metal with a magnetic whiteboard, on it were photos, notes and other random little quirky things, the site of it even had me smiling. It was cool and quirky, a great idea and suddenly I wanted to go home and have one of them on my bedroom door.

It was as I was looking at it that I realized I had stepped towards the door, closer I was able to take note of the photos and my gaze instantly landed on one of the bigger photos, it was of Georgie and Cindy on Halloween dressed up in quite flirty clothing, one the devil the other the angel. I didn't know if I was reading too much into it or trying to convince myself or really it was a sign from god but surprise, surprise, Cindy was the devil with the red horn and the pitchfork with her short, short dress.

I didn't know if it was the photo that influenced my next decision, or if it was still the confident buzz of alcohol that influenced the wild decision or even if it simply was my greatly sparked curiosity and desire to figure Cindy out and maybe even the note and Georgie’s death along the way but the decision was made.

I was going to sneak into Cindy’s room and go hunting.

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