Remi's door opens and listening to her footsteps got closer was a mess- my heart was racing too fast, seconds felt like minutes, excuses blurting in my mind and when she finally walks through, everything stops.

"What the fuck are you guys doing up so late?" Remi mumbles with a scrunched face, messy hair and sleepy eyes that she can barely keep open. "Just came home, called Esrin to unlock the door because I forgot my key," Harry lies smoothly with his hands on his hips. I can't even look at him but I mentally thank him. Suddenly, I'm bad at lying.

Remi doesn't even care, she just strolls to the sink, fills a cup with water and gobbles it down. Very zombie like, she walks back out of the kitchen and a few seconds later we hear her door slam and lock.

My shoulders sink in relief when we're alone again and it felt like the blaring alarm that had gone off was finally silent. "That was close," I mumbled and Harry hums in agreement. He shifts so he was closer to me again.

Harry holds my face in his hand and I stopped avoiding his eyes and it's almost breathtaking how beautiful he is right now. He leans in and presses a slow peck on my lips and I'm pissed at myself for wishing it lasted longer. "Thank you," he whispered as he pulled away.

Everything feels so unsettled as he simply turns around and walks to his bedroom, leaving me in the kitchen. Watching, I expected him to turn around and come back but he never does.

With that, I gulped down an entire bottle of water and washed my face in the sink in the bathroom. When my body crashed in the middle of the bed, sleep finally stopped avoiding me.

I was able to rest for a few hours, I definitely needed more but nevertheless, it was still enough.

I jumped off the bed gasping for air as if I had been drowning in my sleep. Everything was so bright, sunlight filling the room from the thin curtains covering the windows. My hand darts to find my phone to stop my alarm which woke me up in the first place.

The box.

That's the first thought popping into my mind first thing in the morning. It's a thought that has me quickly brushing my teeth. While doing so, I noticed a slight ache in my jaw and even a familiar sore throat feeling. I smiled a little, liking the pain because of what caused it. Focus, Esrin.

Quickly, I splashed cold water over my face a couple of times, shoved my feet into some slippers I found the house and then bolted outside to find Harry.

Thankfully, I find him almost right away.

Entering the kitchen, flashbacks from last night sneaked their way into my mind. I swallowed upon seeing him- Harry- leaning against the countertop with one hand holding the edge and his other holding a cup to his lips. His eyes, his bright eyes, I swear they glinted when he notices me.

"Good morning," my voice comes out hoarse and Harry coughs, rushing over to the sink to spit out the coffee he didn't get to swallow before he threw it up instead. He places the cup down and bolts to me so close that it makes me fuzzy.

"Fuck, does it hurt? How are you?" He worriedly asks, holding my face and inspecting me as if he'd see any damage. What's this fuzzy feeling? "It's okay, I don't mind it," I assured him. Still, I could see that he doesn't believe me and isn't done with it.

Harry grabs my wrist and tugs me away, pulling me to a room I haven't been in before and I only get a glimpse of it to see a table before he kisses me. It takes me a second to return it- how can't I?

Soft, sweet, passionate and gentle mixed with the little spice of his eager tongue roaming my mouth, teeth biting my lips. The kind of kiss that makes me want to never move from here and do this all day long.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispers against my lips then they kissed my nose and after, lowering to kiss my chin. "For what?" I asked, enjoying the feeling of how soft they were, dragging across my jaw. "For liking that it hurts, for liking that you'll be reminded of me every time you talk or swallow," he answers.

My chest rises but it doesn't fall as I stopped breathing for a second. Harry sucks under my ear and I exhaled in a sigh, leaning into his touch "Me too," my voice is softer than his because I don't know how I feel admitting that.

Wasn't there something I was supposed to tell him?

"Stop," I say before he could leave a mark on my skin. Harry obeys, pulling away and he's smiling so hard when he does. Smiling so much that the butterflies flutter around in my stomach.

"You're distracting me," I whispered. Harry nods his head then presses his lips against mine again so I can feel the smile. "Guess we're even then," he states. "Idiot," I slapped his chest and rolled my eyes without even thinking about it.

Harry's eyes darken, and the smile on his face falters slightly but it isn't as carefree as it was a second ago. "Unless I make your eyes roll like I did last night, don't do it, got it?" He doesn't let me reply and that's probably for the best of him because I wasn't going to actually agree to that. Harry presses me against the door and his mouth is hard on mine next, the kiss a little hungrier than our last.

"Harry, have you seen Esrin?" Remi calls.

Fuck.

Her voice startles me and I tore my lips off his. I'm about to gasp out of shock and alarm when Harry's hand slammed across my mouth. It totally slipped my mind that she could've been awake right now. Harry clearly isn't as worried about this as I am since he grinds his lower half to mine, practically torturing me.

"Bathroom, maybe? I dunno," he answers, grinning down at me now, stupid bastard loving the thrill of this. "Okay, well tell her I'm gone whenever she comes out," she shouts back. My shoulders slumped, relieved that she was leaving instead of sticking around. "I will!" Harry responds.

Harry's hand drops from my mouth and he replaces it with his lips. He's careful as he kisses me not to emit any compromising sounds from me. I entertain him until I hear the front door shut, signifying that Remi has left.

"Enough, we need to talk," I say. "Mhm, what's the matter?" Harry replies and then shuts me up by kissing me but I don't think he can help himself. I tear my lips off his- which was very difficult because not only he didn't want me to, but I also didn't want to. Focus, Esrin. Focus.

He looks so pretty when he's drunk on kissing.

"I have a box," I blurted out.

"You have a box," Harry repeats very much more confused than I am saying it. "Yes. A box filled with memories I brought with me from home," I explained, gesturing my hand around, starting to feel the surge of panic that I felt this morning.

"That's a good box then," he confusedly replies. I groaned and punched his chest again. Faking a pain filled look, his eyes flick to the ground for a split second. "Wait. Is that my slippers?" Harry questions, pointing at the pair I wore. "Maybe, now focus!" I dismissed him.

"Harry, there are things of us in there! Pictures and notes and...everything-"

"What?" He shouts, with slightly widened eyes and lifted brows. I nodded my head," Remi can't see it. She can't, I won't let her find out like this."

"Okay," Harry pulls away, his hand on his hip and the other runs through his hair and then down his face. "Okay," he repeats, nodding to himself and then he looks at me again.

"You'd be late to work if you don't leave soon so you should go. I have to be somewhere in thirty minutes and I won't be back until this evening," Harry sighs at our lack of convenience I think it over, knowing that this needs to be done as soon as possible and our only available time when we both should be free.

"Come by when I'm done work and we'll go to BeaconHouse together," I suggested. Surprisingly, Harry agrees," yeah, that's good."

"Good." It's always awkward when we have to leave each other. "I'll see you then," I stated, he gives me a short nod and then I turned around and opened the door. Getting ready for work, I pretend all of that didn't happen just so it helps me remain focused for the rest of the day.

Today, I wore a brown pantsuit, brushed my hair back as best as I can and into a tidy ponytail. While putting on my shoes, I realised that I needed to go shopping for new clothes, makeup and skincare if I'm expected to stay here any longer.

The drive to work is fast and I had just signed in for the day when I hear fast footsteps rushing towards me. I look ahead, seeing Louis in his fancy suit with a worried look painted all over his face. "Green tea, Zayn wants a meeting with us and Seth right now," Louis tells me once he's close enough.

"What?" I blurted out, curious about that combination of people. Don't ask, just act. That's one of the rules around here. "Okay," I follow up and then I leave him there to rush and place my things in my office before rushing to the conference room where I know the meeting would most likely be.

When I make it there, everyone is standing so I assume it isn't anything that serious that needs us to be seated. Just like any other conference room, a long rectangular desk takes up the majority of the room with several chairs lined up around it. In front, there's a massive TV attached to the wall and a podium to the side.

"There you are," Zayn says when I walked in. He's wearing a brown suit like me and I hated that we unintentionally matched. "Great, let's get started," he clasps his hands together and bounces his eyes over the three of us.

"We're going to do a Christmas party."

"What?" I deadpanned at Zayn, Louis and me staring at him with a jaw dropping expression. Zayn only nods his head without giving further explanation. "And when do you plan on having this Christmas party?" I asked, realizing that Christmas was approximately a month away.

"Christmas Eve, it's a Friday this year which is even better," Zayn answers with a cheerful smile. "The past year has exceeded all of our goals and expectations, we deserve to celebrate, don't you think?" He says and he does have a point.

I'm sure the employees would love it especially because Zayn spoils people when he does occasions like these. However, most people are flying out home to their families for Christmas.

Like me.

"So with that being said, I'll handle all of the costs, don't worry about any of that. Just make it the best yet. Any major decisions, I'll confirm first," he explains. Planning 'the best yet' makes it more difficult for planners. "I have selected you three because I've noticed how well you seem to get along so I trust that it makes this easier." Damn it.

The three of us remained quiet probably because we were all still absorbing what the heck he just said. "Keep me updated, yeah?" Zayn says and then walks out of the conference room, leaving the three of us there who are still very much shocked if I may mention it again.

Seth inhales loudly, dropping his folder of paper flat on the table. "I'm quitting! I'm done, I'm done," he exaggerates, throwing his hand up in surrender. "Oh, no. It's a Christmas party, how hard can it be?" Louis attempts to cheer him up. For the extent that Zayn goes, I know that we all know that it will be.

Seth visibly calms down, all the panic from overthinking already about this vanishes from his body when Louis places his hand on his shoulder for a comforting squeeze. He looks up at him with heart filled eyes and for some reason seeing them like this felt like I needed to get out of there. As if the air wasn't breathable.

"Any volunteers to talk Zayn out of this?" I cleared my throat, interrupting their little moment. They both look at me, lifting their right eyebrows at the same time. "Funny you're asking since you're the one that always knocks sense into him," Louis points out with a little grin.

"It's the Esrin charm," Seth agrees. I scoffed, dropping my hands that were crossed and stopped tapping my foot against the floor. "Not happening. How about we actually try to plan this thing out and if it's too much trouble then one of you two will talk to him about it," I offered, cringing. Can't believe I'm attempting to go through with this.

"Esrin, I don't know..." Seth warily replies. Louis turns to him and his eyes dart to him. "It's just a try, we'll be fine," Louis says and just like that, Seth is on board," fine."

At the end of the workday, we were all exhausted and ready to leave this damn building but still, they dragged their way up to my office to do a little bit of work for this party.
We start with the basics of venues, discovering the most suitable ones that aren't booked yet, which took an entire hour and left all the options for Zayn to decide.

When I leave the building and made it to the car park, I stop in track when I see Harry leaning against the door with both hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat, eyes ahead looking at me. He pushes off the door and walks to me, taking my bag and laptop off my hands.

"Ready for this?" He wonders, studying my face and it's hard to hide how tired I am. "Yeah, let's go," I agreed and then pressed the alarm to open the Jeep. Harry puts my stuff in the backseat and then puts his hand out.

"I'm driving," he states, looking at me in a way that says it's not up for debate. Still, I try, as always. "No, my car," I argued. "Rin, you're tired. I'm driving," he insists. I huffed and dropped the keys in his hand then dramatically walked around the front of the car to get into the passenger seat.

Harry frowns at the muted radio and turns it on, raising the volume and flicking through the stations until he finds the right now. In a song I recognized as Between the Raindrops by Lifehouse, Harry sings all of the words and his hands tapping against the wheel was his instrument.

I leaned back with my head pressed to the side of the seat just to watch him through sleepy eyes. When he parks underground, Harry pulls me to his side as we walked to the elevator. Do I remember when he had Niall kidnap me in this very spot? Yes, yes I do.

When we were inside, I walk aside from Harry and kept my head down, avoiding anyone that could've been around. The elevator takes us up to the highest floor and I feel my anxiety lifting as we neared my door. With his access card, he unlocks it.

To welcome us was the destruction almost just the way I left it. Remi did say that they won't clean up all of this until they have a solid lead. Told myself I'd bolt right upstairs and don't give any of this a second look but when I'm standing in the middle of it, that becomes so damn difficult.

All of this was so hard to see. Much harder than reviewing memories in my mind. Staying here any longer felt like I couldn't breathe again. "It's upstairs," I say, not giving downstairs much more of a look as I made my way up the staircase and Harry's behind me.

Something else I noticed was that all of the guns I had hidden around the penthouse were gone. They were gone when I found the place like this for the first time but I was too much of an emotional wreck to acknowledge it.

My room is still a mess and contemplated the idea of taking some stuff back to Harry's house even though I'm not supposed to even touch anything. Remi told me that they're not done and the process of moving back in might take a few extra days than planned.

Harry stays by the door and I walked to the side of the bed and then dropped so I was lying down on my belly on the floor. I prayed to see the plain black shoe box under the bed but instead, I see right straight through to the other side of the floor.

"No!" I shout, reaching my hand out to tap around because maybe it suddenly became invisible. "It's not here, it's not here," I say while getting off the floor. "That's okay, it's fine," Harry attempts to calm me down and he's standing in my room now.

I shake my head, already thinking of explanations to tell Remi when she confronts me about it. I'm pacing the floors my hands sliding through my hair gripping the roots while I do. How could I be so foolish? I was supposed to be smarter than this.

Harry marches to me, he pulls my hand away from hurting myself and wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me to his chest. My hands were shaking as I placed them flat on his back.

"It's fine, Remi would understand," he assures me and he's right but that's not what I'm most worried about. "I'll check if the cops have it. They made a list of everything they took."

I'm worried about anyone who isn't me reading that letter I wrote. The letter contains so much anger, vulnerability and secrets. Even blotched when my tears hit the paper while scribbling down the words. Written after someone forced another traumatic event onto me.

"How would you get that?" I obliviously ask, feeling as if nothing can help right now. Harry stares down at me, giving me a particular look and that's what it takes for me to realise. "Okay," I say, swallowing past the growing lump in my throat.

The way he hugged me, held my face and peered at me- everything about it was so gentle and everything I needed.

He licks his lips and then his thumb passes under my eyes. It's wet. When did I start crying? "I don't want to find it because you asked," Harry confesses softly," I want to find it so I can see what memories of me you have in there." It was enough to make me smile through the tears that had suddenly appeared.

"Pretty tears," he murmurs, looking at me so...fondly. How did we get like this again?

"Harry," I whispered his name and he hums in reply. "Why are you doing this? Why are we kissing and why are you looking at me like that?" I questioned, pleading with him with my eyes to give me an explanation. "I don't know," he sighs.

"This is real right? Because if it isn't...if you're playing me like one of your games I won't be able to reach the finish line," I admitted, my voice breaking as I tried to stop another wave of tears. I might just give up on every single thing if this is all a game to Harry including myself.

"Yes, yes," Harry says immediately without an ounce of hesitation. There's worry etched on his face now. "I can do a lot of things...but faking this with you isn't one of them," he admits. I believe him.

I nodded my head and then pressed the side of my face against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat made me smile a little. "I don't think I can live here again," I whispered. His hands are low on my back so it allows me to see the mess of my room.

I know that's the plan but I can't. Even if everything was back to normal, this is what I'll always remember every time. Every time I unlock that door and step in, I'll always remember coming home to this.

"No, you have to stay here," Harry objects and pulls away so I'm forced to look at him. A frown on his face that tugs his eyebrows down too. "Please? It's either you stay with me or you stay here," Harry states. Confused, I look up at him in question. Then he sighs," I need to keep a close eye on you."

I dropped my hands and put distance between us. "Fuck you, I can take care of myself," I spat. I have done so for so long. "I know but this is different. Remi already said she won't live anywhere else. You won't leave her by herself, right?" He's rambling on about things to help him.

"Harry, I can't. Plus I'm freaking twenty-five, I can't live in a penthouse forever," I pointed out. I want a house in a neighbourhood. I want normal. "Plenty of people do that! With families and shit and wasn't it your plan with Remi to live together until one of you marries?" He argues. Since I've never told him that it's obvious he learnt that from Remi.

"She'll understand so you can to," I shrugged my shoulders. "Please, at least for a little while again? I'm handling all of the costs for the repairs so you have nothing to worry about. We can redo everything," he admits and when he sees my reaction, Harry cringes.

"What? No," I shout, shocked and infuriated that he was even saying these things. Familiar green flames fire in his eyes. "BeaconHouse is in my name, not yours anymore. I can do whatever the fuck I want. If it makes you feel any better I can give you documentation of it," he snaps.

I stepped back, the back of my knees hitting the bed frame. "Shit. I didn't mean to shout, don't know why I said that," Harry's eyes soften and he reaches out for my hand but I don't let him.

"Where I live isn't your decision and I thought you knew me better than to believe that it was," I say simply, sitting on my bed even though I'm not supposed to. Harry sighs in defeat," okay. Whatever, Rin." I can tell that it still bothers him but thankfully, he leaves it alone.

"Let's go," Harry decides and against his request, I stay put. "You're not paying to repair all of this," I stated, looking up at him. Harry is standing over me and he's holding my face in his hands. "At least some of it because it's my obligation, I can be sued or something if I don't, I don't know," he explains.

I groaned and pressed my forehead against his abs. "Let's go, the box isn't here and we'll be in a lot of trouble if we're caught," Harry whispers, fingers running through my hair now. "You need to eat and get rest," he adds.

I took a deep breath and Harry steps back so I can stand. He holds my hand. He holds my damn hand, fingers intertwined with mine and locked so neither of us could let go. Harry holds my hand as we left the penthouse and into the elevator again.

Harry takes us to his home and the drive is silent as if he wasn't even there. Entering the house, I stroll straight to my temporary room and kept myself there until Harry said dinner was done. He doesn't eat with me. When I sat down at the table, he kisses my cheek and then went into his bedroom.

The kiss felt reassuring- everything will be alright.

Tonight there was no denying that I truly did need as much sleep as I can. When I finished eating, I took a quick bath and crawled under the sheets in my PJs.

Saturday, my period is over and my first thought is that I can go to the gym today. Crying my eyes out can't be my only outlet. It isn't enough. While enjoying an apple and a banana, I searched through the web on my phone for experienced planners. Just considering all options in case this doesn't work out between the three of us. Plus, some things need to be done that we don't know about because it isn't our profession.

Remi is gone after breakfast, she popped in to let me know that she's filling one of her partner's shifts today. She said it with a smile but her face was so pale. It's hard to speak to someone about overworking themselves when I've been doing it too. I understand her need for it but this has gone on too far.

When I'm bored out of my mind stuck in this room, I decide that it's the perfect time to go to the gym. So that's what I do, I pulled on a matching set of pants with a sports bra and threw on a loose T-shirt over it.

I strolled out of the room and was on the way to the kitchen for bottled water when I stopped in my tracks in front of an open door. It's the same door that leads to the room Harry had sneaked me away in yesterday morning.

Speaking of him, he's sitting behind the desk in that room and he's already caught me staring. "Come here," Harry orders and I do since I still have to tell him of my plans to go to the gym. Wait, I don't owe him any explanations.

I'm always surprised to see how well Harry has designed every room in his house. This one was clearly his office with the glass table in the centre, and a bookshelf occupying an entire wall but there were no books on it. There are small pieces of art and two more pieces on the painted burgundy walls.

When I'm standing in front of his desk, Harry points at me with his index finger and then bends it, in a come here motion. I listen with a sigh, walking around the desk. Harry holds me by my hips and drags me to sit on his lap.

"Perfect," he says once I'm seated on his lap and instinctively, my hands wrap around his shoulders and neck to keep me still along with his hand on my lower back and the other hooked across my legs.

He's got an iPad out and on the screen is a very long list of names displayed on it. "What's this?" I ask, taking my hand off him to hold the iPad. Harry doesn't seem to like that, he grabs my hand and puts it back on his chest and then holds the iPad up properly.

"List of everyone we went to school with," Harry answers and then my eyes fall on his name. I feel the memories of us knocking on the door but I don't answer it.

"Is he on this list?" Harry questions as if he read my mind and I know he's talking about my ex-boyfriend, the number one suspect in the penthouse attack. He's studying me as he asks and awaits a reply. "Nope," I say confidently even though it's a lie.

Harry inhales and shakes his head. I've been caught. "My little liar," he murmurs, fingertips sliding up my arm. He doesn't even look disappointed. My. My. My.

"I know it's Liam Payne."

Fuck.

Oh my God. This cannot be happening, he wasn't supposed to figure it out so soon. There was supposed to be more time. I tried to get off his lap, suddenly feeling the need to flee out of there. Harry's hands are so tight when I do to keep me there," you're not going anywhere."

"Harry, you can't do anything to him. Not yet at least, please," I pleaded, imagining all the horrible possibilities Death Hood can do to him.

The truth is, I did cause the fire in Liam's house.

I told Harry that they only blame me for it but they were right. I was such a stupid teenager, an emotional wreck. Instead of burning Polaroids and hoodies like a normal girl experiencing heartbreak, I burnt his damn house down.

Did he deserve it? Maybe.

However, years later it still hasn't left me. If anything happens to Liam, I know he has a fail-safe plan set for me.

"Like hell I will, Rin!" Harry objects. The muscle in his jaw strains along with the vein running along the side of his neck. "I know but..." I trailed off, thinking of what to say with my hand placed on his chest. Right away I can feel the heavy beating of the drums in his chest.

"It isn't that easy, if it was I would've told you his name or made a report," I shared. I thought I left Liam miles and miles away. He found me. Just like they said, no matter how far I ran.

"Remi has been working so hard lately, I know you know that. Let her get something first, please? We can try to do this the legal way first," I suggested. Honestly, I was stalling but it made sense.

"Esrin," Harry objects, lifting his hand off me to pinch the bridge of his nose then run across the length of his eyebrows. "I'll be a little less than legal," Harry attempts to compromise. I gave him a flat look," that's still considered illegal."

When he doesn't say anything and I don't think I'd won this conversation, I was desperate for him to agree. "Heart promise me, Harry," I demanded, holding my pinky out. His fingertips tapped against my lap while he was in thought. "Harry," I say in a warning tone. "I can't!" He shouts.

"I don't care if this ruins things between us but you can't stop me from this," Harry states and there's no regret found in his voice as he says it. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"If you agree to leave this alone for now then I'll stay at the penthouse when it's fixed," I bargained. I don't know how I'll do it but when Harry's eyes light up, I know that I've won. "Seriously?" He questioned and I nodded my head. "Say it," he orders. "Yes, I'm serious," I sighed the words, rubbing the side of my face with my hand.

"Okay, deal." Harry is the one eager to put his pinky out and I return it, winding his pink finger with mine. I brought it to my lips and kissed our fingers without even thinking about it and then over my heart as we usually would.

Sure there's a weight I feel now that I have to stay at that BeaconHouse again but if it meant Harry won't stir up chaos, then I'll do it.

"Good boy," I smirked. It's such a crazy thing to actually see as Harry's eyes darkened after hearing those words. "Rin," Harry whines and his hands are on my hips and he attempts to bring it closer to his, craving the friction.

"Nuh-uh, let's go to the gym, come with me," I offered. Woah, where did that come from? Harry gives me a flat look. "I'll be hard from watching you the whole time," Harry bluntly answers and the image pictured in my mind doesn't sound too bad.

"Maybe I'll do something about it then," I say seductively, trailing my finger down his chest. "Damn it," he mutters, a torn look covering his face and he catches my hand from going any further.

My stomach falls a little, already disappointment starts seeping through because I know what's next. "I can't, not now," Harry admits. There it is. "I have business to take care of," he sighs, explaining.

"Death Hood business?" Harry nods his head and I appreciate that he even answers in that way. "Okay. I'll be back later," I unlocked my hands from around his shoulders and he allows me to slide off his lap and stand up.

He grabs my hand before I could walk off and kisses the palm of it. Jesus Christ. "Remi wants spaghetti tonight so we're making it," he informs me. "Okay, I'll help boil the spaghetti," I joked and Harry cracks a smile. I leave with that, avoiding the awkward goodbye.

I throw a water bottle into the little bag I carry to the gym and then took off in the Jeep. The radio was turned off but the wind dashing past from all the windows that were down drowned any silence. It's a Saturday, so the gym is busy when I arrive.

I see friendly faces from when I'd be here often, entertained small talk for a few and then got concentrated. Keeping to myself mostly for an hour and the next hour, some persons have left. Luckily, the ring is free so I grab the opportunity along with boxing gloves.

I'm out of breath by the end of my little session, my muscles aching and screaming for me to stop and rest and finally when it becomes too much, I listen. I dragged myself out those large doors with a smile on my face because for a while, I'd craved and needed this feeling.

The car park is not as filled as when I arrived. My jeep is parked towards the end and I mentally groaned at having to walk even longer. My feet were about to give out any second now.

When I am close enough and catch a good eye full of my jeep, I'm unable to formulate a reaction other than being so shocked that I can't move.

The windows, front and rear windshield were smashed with glass everywhere. Not even a spec or glass from along any sides of the windows and windshields was left behind. The tires were deflated and slashed open with a knife still stuck in one of them.

Slowly, I walked closer after what felt like minutes. It felt like any step may trigger an explosion.

When I'm close enough to see what was on the seat I gasped and my hand flew over my mouth.

A flower, something that once was so beautiful to me but instead now it makes me sick to my stomach.

A tulip sits on the driver's seat of my Jeep, left on top of glass pieces.