The cold air ran over my fur.

If I were human, I'd probably be freezing right about now, but being a werewolf did have its advantages, and one was a higher tolerance to the cold.

The grass brushed against my fur as I raced through the woods. I had midnight patrol duty tonight. Most people complained about the job, but over the last few months, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't become a fan of it. Throughout the day, I was Alpha Tatum: the wolf who had to be strong and keep up appearances, but at night? There was nobody around. It was only me — just as it had been for the last few months.

Though I technically didn't need to be out on patrol duty, the job offered an escape from all the fucked up things around me. I didn't have to focus on losing my mate, my head warrior, and my beta. I didn't have to focus on the fact that my pack was falling apart at the seams.

I didn't have to focus on the fact that I was utterly failing as an alpha.

"We just switched out with the other team. Everything at the southern border is clear!" The leader of the midnight patrol team linked me.

"Keep me updated if anything happens," I responded.

I forced my thoughts down and focused on my surroundings as I raced to the western border. With rogue attacks growing more frequent in the area, we had to up our security to watch for them. Luckily it seemed to be mainly regular rogues that were coming and not ferals, but I knew better than to underestimate them.

There were two types of rogues—the ones who kept their humanity and those who completely lost it. The latter was supposed to be a lot less common to come across, but the numbers had shot up in the past year alone, which meant that packs had to be more careful. With the state that the Howling Night was in right now, the last thing we needed was rogue attacks of any sort.

Nobody directly said anything. They never came straight up to me and complained, but I wasn't deaf to the whispers or blind to the worried expressions. Many believed the Howling Night was falling apart. We didn't have a head warrior, we didn't have a beta, and now our alpha was a broken fucking mess. I didn't blame those who were worried and wasn't angry with those who complained. If anything, I was mad at myself.

I was angry that I let myself fall so low, mad that I let my pack fall so low. I was meant to be their alpha, for goddess' sake. I was told to stand tall and show them that this would all be okay, but I couldn't. Every time I closed my eyes, I was there in that hospital room, watching as my mate died, or I was back at the day when we found him, wishing I could've done more.

It killed me.

There was so much that I wished I could change. So much that I wanted to, I'd known before everything had gone to hell, but I knew that regret would ultimately change nothing. There were no redos; I was stuck with the mess that had been created, and now I had to fix it.

When I reached the western border, nothing was there. I could smell the patrol team in the surrounding area as they spread and examined the perimeter.

Tonight's, thankfully, a quiet night.

My eyes scanned the area one last time before I turned to leave. Before returning home for the night, I would stop by the eastern and northern border.

I stopped and stretched my legs before taking off, but I didn't get too far before the faint scent of blood invaded my nostrils, causing my body to tense. One sniff told me that it wasn't one of my pack members, meaning that there was a rogue after all, but it wasn't in the pack lands. Seeing as it didn't cross the border, I could've left it. It would've made sense, too, as we weren't in any position to be trying to play hero, but it didn't feel right.

Sure, there were some evil rogues out there, but there were also good ones. If this one was hurt and I knew about it, then I couldn't just leave it.

I took another sniff and began to follow the faint scent of blood. I knew that Maia, my gamma, would disapprove of my actions. She would've told me to ignore it and continue my patrols, but I couldn't bring myself to. As much as I hated to admit it, I was reminded of my mate. Had he passed into someone else's territory instead of my own, I would've wanted someone to help him rather than ignore him.

I'd check it out, and then if it looked too risky to get involved in, I would leave.

The more I walked, the stronger the scent became until it was almost overwhelming. I stopped just a few ways outside the pack border, and I searched the area, looking to see where the scent was coming from.

That was another thing about being a werewolf I was thankful for. Given how dark it was, for a human, it would've been hard to make anything out, but a werewolf's eyesight was better. Because of this, I spotted a dark wolf lying partially underneath a bush.

The logical part of me told me to ignore the wolf. Given its condition, there was a chance that it wouldn't even survive throughout the night. Still, the curious part of me caused me to walk toward the injured figure. If not for the faint sound of it breathing, I would've thought it was already dead.

Its coat was a bloody, knotted mess, its body shook like a leaf in the wind, and part of its ear was missing.

Would it be better to put the poor thing out of its misery?

The idea made the most sense with the state it was in, but the sound that escaped the wolf's mouth caused me to pause. I was used to finding injured wolves within or near pack territory — it wasn't a strange occurrence. Many whined out of pain or fear, and others asked for help, but this wolf was different.

Although it looked like it already had a foot in its grave, the wolf managed to turn over. Deep, angry, brown eyes glared at me, and the wolf let out a low growl.

I could kill the wolf if I wanted to. I could leave it here for dead, but something about the look in its eyes told me that it didn't matter. I could leave the wolf out here in its condition, and it would still manage to survive out of spite.

Maia's going to be mad at me.

The wolf let out another growl as I leaned toward it, but I wasn't worried.

Sorry to tell you, but you won't be dishing out damage to anyone in your current state.

"Harmony?" I linked one of the doctors at the pack's hospital.

"Yes, Alpha?"

My eyes remained glued on the wolf, which was baring its teeth at me. The anger in its eyes had grown since I'd approached it, which told me it wasn't a people person.

"I'm going to need you to prepare a room for an injured wolf. One preferably away from the rest of the pack."

...

I hated hospitals.

I don't honestly know when the hatred first started, but I knew it dated back to my early childhood. If there was ever a reason to have to go, I fought like hell to get out of it. When we were younger, Reo called me pathetic because of it and told me I needed to get over my fear before I became alpha. That never happened.

It was almost funny. Here I was, supposed to be leading a pack when I harbored such a strong disliking for something as simple as a hospital. Still, ironically, the hospital was probably one of the places I'd visited the most frequently in the pack.

Tonight was no different. I don't know how long I sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair in the front of the building as I waited for an update on the wolf I'd found earlier. I could've just left and returned whenever it woke up, but some part of me wouldn't allow that. Maybe it was curiosity, but I'd decided before stepping foot in the building that I wasn't going anywhere until I knew it was okay.

The sound of the door opening echoed through the quiet space. I didn't bother to turn my head; I already knew who it was before the rose-like scent even hit my nose.

Maia took a seat beside me with her arms crossed over her chest. Neither of us said anything, but the silence spoke volumes.

"It was an injured rogue," I finally said to Maia.

"It was reckless and stupid of you to go out on your own," she replied.

"It looked like it wouldn't even make it through the night without help. Would you rather I ignored it and let it die?"

Maia sighed. "I'd rather you start thinking about yourself. You could've gotten hurt and ended up injured along with the rogue. Don't forget that you're still the alpha of this pack."

My jaw clenched. "I don't need you to remind me of that."

Maia didn't reply, but I could tell by the expression on her face that she was frustrated. I knew that her worry stemmed from her caring about me, and I did feel bad about worrying her so much over the last couple of months, but I couldn't have left the wolf out there.

The two of us returned to sitting in silence. I'm not sure how long we were there, but I knew the chairs were killing my back. In the future, I'd have to get them replaced once the pack was better.

The sound of my phone buzzing broke the silence. I knew that it could only be one of two people bothering to text me at this time: Cloud or Reo. Neither one of them did I have the desire to talk to.

Maia's eyes briefly dropped to the pocket where the buzzing came from, but she didn't comment. Eventually, it stopped, but the silence was short-lived when it started to ring again. Against my better judgment, I pulled out the phone. Sure enough, it was Cloud. It'd been around a week since we'd last talked, so I knew that it was only a matter of time before he called or texted me. He'd made it a habit of his to do so once a week as his way of 'being there for me.'

The only reason I bothered to entertain the habit was that I knew Cloud, and I knew that if he thought something was wrong, he'd be on the first trip back. I didn't want that. I'd heard about how much he was enjoying his travels, and I refused to be the reason he returned here — I refused to be the thing that ruined it for him.

"Alpha," one of the doctors called out. "The wolf you brought in earlier has been treated and placed in a room. I can take you if you'd please follow me."

I stood up, and so did Maia, as we followed after the doctor. He was talking, but I ignored it. My attention was focused on the rooms around us. There were beds full of patients — beds similar to the ones where my mate's heart stopped breathing six months ago.

"Are you okay?"

I glanced over at Maia, whose brown eyes stared at me, full of concern. I hated the expression.

"I'm fine." I linked back and picked up my space, successfully ending the conversation, and followed after the doctor.

We stopped in front of the room in the hospital's west wing. There weren't many wolves around like I had requested. The doctor stopped in front of a room at the end of the hallway and opened the door, allowing us to stand inside.

"He shifted not long after being brought in," the doctor explained as my eyes scanned the dark-haired man lying in bed with closed eyes.

My green eyes widened and scanned down his body and to his exposed torso, which was covered in scars. Most were healed, but others appeared to be fresh. That, however, wasn't what surprised me though.

I moved closer to the bed, examining the man's face, which confirmed my suspicions. The injured man lying in bed was none other than twenty-two-year-old Nixon Hart: the alpha who allegedly killed his brother's mate.