Twenty-Three

Ilang araw akong nagkulong sa kwarto magmula nang mag-away kami ni Jeremy. He keeps on texting and calling me but I wouldn't answer the phone. Pakiramdam ko ay napapansin din nina mommy at daddy that there's something wrong with me even though I go to school every day.

"Is something wrong?" Was my mother's question instead of greeting me good morning as soon as I sat down on the table.

"Nothing." My usual reply. I will eat the breakfast silently and head off to school. I will make sure that Jeremy wouldn't see me by ditching my last period class. Hindi na rin ako halos makapunta sa Karlo's dahil palagi ko siyang nakikitang nakaabang sa labas.

"Mary Grace," I jumped a little when someone grabbed my shoulders. My mind went in chaos for just a moment but eventually calmed down when I realized that it was not Jeremy's voice. It was Danielle's.

"Danielle," I forced out a polite smile. "Hey... it's been a long time."

She looked sad though, although she smiled back at me. She gently grab my arms and lead me out of the building. Bigla naman akong kinabahan dahil papunta siya sa building nila Jeremy. "May gustong kumausap sa iyo."

Hindi ako sumagot. If it's going to be Jeremy, maybe it's about time that I talk to him. Nakakapagod din yung para akong nakikipagtaguan sa kanya. Hindi lang ako sa pakikipagtaguan napapagod, sa lahat-lahat na.

But it was not Jeremy who was waiting for me when we reached the back of the building. It was Mariah. She was facing the wall, doing nothing. Nakapambahay lang siya. I gave Danielle a questioning look.

She sighed and said silently. "Matagal na siyang nag-drop."

Tila natunugan kami ni Mariah dahil kaagad siyang bumaling sa aming dalawa. Hindi ko pa man naibubuka ang bibig ko ay niyakap niya na ako nang mahigpit. Naramdaman ko ang mainit na likidong tumutulo sa may balikat ko at ang pagtaas-baba ng mga balikat ni Mariah.

"I'm sorry..." She sobbed.

Danielle looked at us sympathetically.

I didn't know what to do at first. Yayakapin ko ba din siya o itutulak at itatanong kung ano ang hinihingi niya ng tawad. I just stood there for a while as she continued muttering sorry again and again. Finally, my hands crawled to her back and hug her tighter. Mas lalong lumakas ang hagulhol ni Mariah.

"You're such an idiot." I whispered.

She nodded her head. "Yeah." Her voice is broken yet I can sense that she's somewhat happy. Kumalas na siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin. "Yeah, I am."

Napailing na lang ako. I started wiping her tears away. "Why didn't you come see me sooner?"

She gulped. "I was so fucking scared. Akala ko hindi niyo na ako kakausapin ulit ni Danielle pagkatapos ng ginawa ko sa inyo. I'm really sorry." Napayuko siya at paulit-ulit na namang nag-sorry.

Danielle spoke up. "She came to me three weeks after we've visited her. We tried reaching out to you but it seems like you're very busy. Atsaka, hindi na rin kami nag-abala pang disturbuhin ka lalo na nang malaman namin ang nangyari sa ate mo..." Siya naman ang napayuko at nagkagat ng labi. "It may seem too late, but condolence, Mary Grace."

I nodded my head. "Thanks." I whispered.

She took a step and hugged me as well. Nakisama na din si Mariah at nagyakapan kaming tatlo sa mahabang oras. It seemed like forever when I last talked to them and somehow, a weight have been lifted off my chest.

"We don't know what's going on between you and Jeremy but we can see that you're not in good terms right now." Wika ni Danielle pagkakalas sa pagyayakapan naming tatlo. She gave me a worried look. "Are you okay?"

"Not really." I admitted. "I just... I don't know how to deal with him anymore. He hit me."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Mariah sa sinabi ko. "He did? When?!"

"Nung nasa apartment niya ako. Nagtatalo kaming dalawa and he just..." A sob rose to my throat. "He hit me a couple of times."

"That jerk!" Danielled hissed.

"But John Will was there to help me. Kung wala siya marahil ay nabugbog na ako ni Jeremy. I didn't know what to do back then. It was the first time he ever did it to me."

"Si John Will?" Danielle echoed. Nagkatinginan silang dalawa ni Mariah.

"Yeah. John Will, remember him? Jeremy's bestfriend. Hindi ko na rin nga siya nakikita ngayon sa school. I heard nag-away daw silang dalawa ng Dad niya. I wanted to thank him for what he's done to me."

"Mary Grace..." Hinawakan ni Danielle ang kamay ko. "John Will is..." She trailed off, looking at Mariah. She nodded as if encouraging her to continue. "He's on the hospital right now."

"Ano?" Para akong nabingi sa narinig ko. "Bakit? Anong nangyari?"

"He attempted suicide."

Nanlambot ang mga tuhod ko sa narinig. "Suicide?" I asked, more to myself than them. My hands started trembling. Every time I heard the word suicide, para na akong nakakaramdam ng pagkasakal.

"Yeah." Mariah continued. "He drank thinner and hanged himself on his grandmother's house. He's in coma right now."

"The reason why you don't see Jeremy around is because he's watching over John Will on the hospital." Dugtong pa ni Danielle.

I feel empty. Biglang nag-flash sa isipan ko ang nakangising mukha ni John Will. The concern etched on his face, his mickey mouse boxers, and his firm grip on my hands. Parang kahapon lang ay magkasama kami, ngayon ay nasa hospital na siya for attempting to kill himself.

"S...Saang hospital yan?" Mahina kong tanong sa kanila.

"You want to visit him?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah." I said silently. "I want to. Please, take me to him."

Mariah and Danielle nodded. Napatingin kaming tatlo sa malakas na pagpito ng security guard sa amin. Kaagad na umakyat ng pader si Mariah at tumakbo papalabas ng campus habang kami naman ni Danielle ay mabilis na nagsialisan sa likod ng building.

Habang tumatakbo ako, isa lang ang nasa isipan ko. It was John Will and his suicide attempt. A coffin flashed in front of my eyes for a milisecond. I blinked back and noticed that tears had started streaming down my face.

John Will. John Will. John Will. I repeated inside of my head.

"Okay ka lang, Mary Grace?" Hinihingal na tanong sa akin ni Danielle when we reached the cafeteria. I collapsed myself on one of the chairs and stared into nothing. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko.

This is getting too much. Too much.

"I want to see him now." My voice sounded so desperate and broken.

"Well." She inhaled and exhaled. "We could always climb over the walls the way we ued to."

All the way to the local hospital in our area where John Will was confined, hindi ako mapakali. Mariah joined us after a while. Gusto ko siyang kamustahin at itanong kung ano na ang nangyari sa kanya magmula nang ipa-abort niya ang bata pero hindi ko magawang itanong sa kanya. Ni halos hindi ako makausap ng dalawa.

Walking down the lonely hallways of the hospital reminded me of my sister's death. I feel like this scene is going to replay again. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng takot sa iniisip ko. Napahinto ako sa paglalakad nang makita ko si Jeremy sa di kalayuan. He's trying to comfort a sobbing mother just outside the door. A middle-aged man came out of the room and walked away, his face scrunced and his eyes red. Nakatayo lang kaming tatlo at nakatingin sa kanila. Nagtama ang mga mata namin ni Jeremy but he continued to console the poor woman.

Mayamaya pa ay lumabas na din ang doctor sa kwarto. He knelt down across the middle-aged woman, muttered something and placed his hands on her shoulders. Mas lalong lumakas ang hagulhol niya. Napatakbo ako sa kwarto.

And it was all too late. Just like what happened to my sister. This scene happened just before my eyes for the second time around. For the second time around, wala na naman akong inabutan.

"Oh God." Napapikit si Danielle at tumalikod. Nagsimula siyang umiyak.

John Will... John Will is gone.

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As you can see, some of the characters in this story are real. Therefore, I want you to be open-minded if you wish to continue reading this story.