Thirty

"Harry!" I squealed in delight. Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang toga cap ko habang tumatakbo ako sa papunta sa kanya.

Harry's strong arms automatically wrapped around my waist the moment I reached him. We both giggled together and hugged tightly.

"Congrats!" he said, grinning widely.

"Thanks!" I beamed. Tumikhim ang mga magulang ko. Kaagad kaming naghiwalay ni Harry. Namumula na naman ang kanyang tainga. I can't help but laugh.

"Let's go? Baka ma-traffic pa tayo." wika ni Dad.

Tumango kami at sumunod sa kanila sa sasakyan. I remembered my highschool graduation years ago. I was so sad and pathetic. Wala akong planong tumuntong ng college noon. But look at me now. I'm holding my college diploma!

Hindi pa rin matanggal ang ngisi sa aking mukha as we climbed inside the vehicle. Harry and I grinned at each other like a lovesick puppy. Parang sasabog ang puso ko sa saya. Seeing my mother and father wearing their wedding rings again made me happier. Their wedding last month is private and small, but it was so magical. Ever since then, I keep on bugging Harry to have a beach wedding.

Nang makarating kami sa tuna grilling restaurant ay dali-dali kaming bumaba ng sasakyan. I remove my toga because it's making my skin itch. Harry secretly held my hand as we trailed after my parents.

Nilingon kami ni Dad. Nang tumama ang tingin niya sa magkahawak naming kamay ay ngumiti siya. "Go find a table to sit, Mary Grace and Harry. I'll just check what's their special menu today."

"Okay." I chirped. Maraming parokyano sa loob ng restaurant at maingay. Their food must be good, then. Nang makahanap kami ng bakanteng upuan ay humalumbaba ako.

"Hey," Harry tapped my shoulders.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. His ears are turning pink again. I giggled inwardly. He's so fucking cute. And he's mine.

"Yeah?"

He smiled shyly at me and pulled something from his wallet. Sinuri ko ito nang ilang segundo at napagtantong dalawang tickets iyon papuntang Davao.

"What's this for?"

"I have a surprise for you, but it's in Davao."

"Don't tell me tapos na ang mansiyon?" I asked cheerily.

"Not that one," umiling-iling siya. "It's just a graduation gift."

"What's this then?" I squinted my eyes suspiciously at him.

He laughed. "You'll see. Magpaalam ka muna sa mga magulang mo na magpupunta tayo ng Davao bukas."

"Bukas kaagad?" gulat kong tanong.

"Baby, this can't wait."

I gazed lovingly at his handsome grinning face. I wouldn't mind waking up next to this man for the rest of my life. And a graduation gift in Davao? Iniisip ko pa lang iyon ay nai-excite na ako.

---

Dressed in a pair of ripped jeans, rugged converse, and plain white shirt, I grabbed my fjallraven kanken matte black backpack. Wala akong masyadong dala dahil wala naman akong ideya kung saan kami pupunta.

At first, my parents are totally against it. Nag-aalala sila na baka kung ano na naman ang mangyari sa akin kapag nagpunta ako sa Davao. But I assured them that everything's going to be fine dahil kasama ko naman si Harry. Pagkatapos ng isang mahaba-habang pangungumbinsi ay pinayagan rin nila ako.

When Harry came to fetch me at the house, he was dressed in a black runner shorts, trekking shoes, and grey shirt. May Ray-Ban glasses pa sa kanyang mga mata. Pinasadahan niya ng tingin ang suot ko at tumango-tango.

"This will do." wika pa niya sa sarili.

"Are we going to trek?" nai-excite kong tanong.

"Secret." He teased. Pumasok siya sa bahay para ipaalam ako sa mga magulang ko. Sobrang dami pang habilin nila mommy at daddy bago kami tuluyang makaalis.

Harry held my hand the moment we got out of the house until we arrive at the airport. Binibitiwan lang niya ang kamay ko kapag kailangan. Pagkatapos ay huhulihin na naman niya ito at ipagsasalikop ang mga palad namin. Napangiti ako sa kanya.

"You should sleep." wika niya. He tapped his broad shoulders and guided my head. "You're going to be exhausted later on."

Pilya akong ngumiti. "Does that mean something, Mr. Harry?"

He shook his head and gave me a mischievous smile. "No, not at all."

Tumawa ako at sumandal sa kaniyang balikat. Pagkalipas ng ilang sandali ay dinalaw na din ako ng antok at nakatulog.

---

"Hey," marahang tinapik-tapik ni Harry ang balikat ko. I grunted silently and fluttered my eyes open. My boyfriend grinned at me. "We're here, baby."

"Oh." Realization dawned on me. Kinusot-kusot ko ang aking mga mata. Nag-aannounce na ang crew na pwede nang bumaba ang mga pasahero. Harry lead me out of the plane. Medyo nahihilo pa ako sa biyahe pero natanggal kaagad ang pagod ko nang makita ko ang malaking sign.

Welcome to Davao City!

"Would you like to eat first? May anim na oras pa tayong biyahe." wika ni Harry habang kinukuha ang bag sa likuran ko kahit na may dala-dala pa siyang isang suitcase.

"Huwag na, ako na magdadala nito." wika ko. Sinimangutan ako ni Harry at binitawan na din ang strap ng kanken bag ko. "Anyway, I'd like to eat first. Sabi mo anim na oras ang biyahe? Saan ba tayo pupunta?" I squinted my eyes suspiciously at him.

"It's a secret, Mary Grace." He said and ruffled my hair. We stopped by a fast-food chain and ordered our early lunch. Harry instructed me to buy some chips and soda as well habang may tinatawagan siya sa kaniyang telepono.

Saktong pagkatapos naming kumain ay siya namang pagdating ng car rental representative dala ang black wrangler jeep. Lumabas kaming dalawa ni Harry at sinalubong ang lalaki.

"Here, sign this." May iniabot siyang isang papel kay Harry. "Off-road to gagamitin, diba? Mas malaki ang charge namin,"

"It's okay." Harry said, signing the papers.

I poked his arms. "Off-road?" pero hindi niya ako pinansin. Humaba ang nguso ko.

"Thanks." The man folded the paper and went inside the fastfood probably to check the menu or eat. Nakatingin pa siya sa aming dalawa ni Harry nang sumakay na kami sa Wrangler.

"This vehicle is a beast." Harry tapped the steering wheel appreciatively. "I might buy this model kapag dito na tayo tumira sa Davao."

I smiled at him as I buckled my seatbelt. So he really thinks about our future together, huh?

Nang paatrasin na ni Harry ang sasakyan ay sumandal ako sa headrest at naidlip saglit dahil sa kabusugan. The soothing voice of Lana del Rey sent me to sleep when Harry turned on the speakers. Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras na akong nakatulog dahil paggising ko ay malapit na kami sa Manikling.

I yawned. Ang akala ko ay didiretso si Harry sa daan patungo sa Governor Generoso pero nagulat ako nang lumiko siya at tahakin ang daan papuntang Mati City. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Sa Mati tayo pupunta?"

He shook his head. "Nope." Then he glanced at the plastic bags full of chips and soda. "Are you hungry? You can eat something. Medyo malayo-layo pa tayo."

"Saan ba talaga tayo?" hindi ko maitago ang excitement sa boses ko habang binubuksan ang Nova. Ipinatong ko ang aking mga paa sa dashboard but Harry swat it away.

"We're only renting this car, young woman. Huwag mo namang sirain."

Inirapan ko siya but my lips are twitching, fighting off a smile. Nang lumampas na kami sa Mati City ay inalog-alog ko ang aking utak kung ano pa ba ang lugar na pwedeng puntahan dito. In just three hours, we reached Caraga.

The smell of saltwater hit my nostrils. Lumalamig na din ang simoy ng hangin, tanda na papalapit na kami sa dagat. There are lots of coconut trees than houses on the road. Mas lumalawak din ang kalsada at pakaunti nang pakaunti ang mga sasakyan.

"Where are we?" I wondered out loud. Harry slowed down when we reached the municipality of Baganga. I cocked my eyebrows. "Dito tayo?"

"Hold your horses, Mary Grace. Malapit na malapit na tayo." He grinned at me. Huminto siya sa harap ng isang dirt path. In a small tarpaulin, nakita ko kaagad ang sign na Welcome to Carolina Lake.

"Carolina lake?" hindi ko maitago ang saya sa puso ko. Harry climbed out of the vehicle and approached the small wooden refreshment stand made by locals. Nakipagbiruan siya saglit sa mga ito bago may itinuro ang isang matandang babae na direksiyon. Ako naman ay nakasilip lang mula sa sasakyan.

Bumalik si Harry sa sasakyan. "Come on, let's go. Hindi na puwede ang sasakyan sa loob."

"Oh, okay." I said, gathering my things and climbing out of the truck. Kinuha ni Harry ang kanyang suitcase mula sa likuran at pinasan ito dahil maputik ang daan. He locked the car and started walking with me.

"It's just a 10-minute walk," sinulyapan niya ako. "We'll be there shortly."

"Yeah, sure." I answered cheerily. As we walked deeper and deeper into the thick verdant vegetation, ancient trees and old coconuts came into view. Matapos ang ilang minutong paglalakad ay nasilayan ko na din ang lake.

My throat constricted upon the sight. The tidal reek is nestled deep within the forest, large trees surrounding the blue water. On that warm day of April, it looked like a painting to me as it lay untouched without a ripple.

"It's so pretty!" I cried, taking the last few steps and running towards the lake. I heard Harry chuckled behind me. May mga cottage pa na gawa sa kahoy ang nasa gilid ng lake.

A small fish jump and created a ripple on the water that soon disappeared after a few seconds. Ibinaba ni Harry ang dala-dalang suitcase at hinilot-hilot ang likod.

God, I really want to take a dip. Good thing I'm wearing a black suit under my jeans and shirt. Habang inilalabas ni Harry ang mga gamit sa kaniyang suitcase ay para akong batang manghang-manghang nakatingin sa lake.

"Hey, I need a hand here." Harry called out. Bumalik ako sa puwesto niya na hindi matanggal ang ngiti sa mukha. Inilabas niya ang isang malaking tent bag at iniabot sa akin saka isinarado ang suitcase.

"We're going to sleep here tonight?"

"Yep." Ipinatong niya ito sa isang kahoy na lamesa at kinuhang muli ang mabigat na tent bag mula sa akin. Soon, we busied ourselves in setting up a tent. A local fisherman passed by and greeted us, dipping his feet on the cold water probably to relieve his aching muscles.

Napangiti ako sa nakita. It's only us and the fisherman here. It was like it's made for us. Sobrang ganda at nakaka-relax ng tanawin.

"I accidentally discovered the place nung napadpad ako sa Caraga," wika ni Harry habang inilalatag ang dalawang sleeping bags sa loob. Ipinasok din niya ang kanyang suitcase at ang aking bag. "Good thing the sign was big enough. Nang daanan ito ng bus ay halos mabali ang leeg ko kakatingin sa karatula."

I chuckled. "Well, you found a real good place, Harry."

"Yeah." He nodded his head. Walang sabi-sabi niyang hinubad ang suot na shirt. I swallowed when I saw his well-toned muscles and the mouth-watering V-line that he immediately covered by pulling his jeans a little higher. May kapilyuhan sa kaniyang mga mata nang tingnan niya ako. "Ikaw ha? Anong tinitingnan mo?"

Namula ang buong mukha ko sa kaniyang sinabi. "W-Wala no." tumalikod kaagad ako at nagsimulang maghubad ng pantalon. I threw my shirt off and we both race to the water. Harry grabbed my hand and we both jump, creating a huge ripple on the calm lake. Muntik pa akong mapatili dahil sa sobrang lamig ng tubig. It's surprisingly deep as well.

The fisherman smiled at us. "Maraming isda dito, lalo na kapag gabi at walang tao. Baka may mahuli kayo mamaya..." wika niya.

"I don't know how to fish, Sir." Kamot-ulong sagot ni Harry. Nakakapit ako sa kaniyang mga balikat dahil hindi ko na talaga maabot sa sobrang lalim ng tubig. We started wading to the deeper part of the water.

"Gaano ba ito kalalim?" nagpalinga-linga ako. Sobrang tahimik talaga. Tanging mga boses lang namin ang bumabasag sa katahimikan.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Wanna dive?"

Sumimangot ako at umiling. "Ayoko nga."

"Stay here." He said and without even a warning, he took a huge breath and disappeared in the water. Kaagad akong nag-panic dahil malalim at wala na akong ibang makakapitan. Ang mangingisda naman ay tumayo na at kinuha ang baldeng dala-dala niya kanina.

"Mauna na ako, hija," he said.

I nodded at him and smiled. Ikinaway ko pa ang mga kamay ko. "Mag-iingat po kayo!" I called out as he disappeared to the thick forest.

Ilang minuto pa ay hindi pa rin umaahon si Harry. The water is getting colder and colder. Nagsisimula na din akong mapraning kaya wala akong ibang magawa kung hindi tingnan siya sa ilalim.

Taking a deep breath, I sank underwater. I tried to open my eyes but it stung a bit. Maybe because a portion of the stream is affected by the ocean tides. I stretched my arms to move forward and swim deeper. There's nothing I could see but the blurred blue waters.

I tried to scan the surroundings. He's not here. Where did he go?

A few minutes passed. I couldn't go any deeper because my lungs are burning in pain, begging for oxygen. Nawawalan din ako ng kontrol sa aking katawan kaya wala akong ibang magawa kung hindi ang umahon. I gasped and panted when I surfaced. But when I looked around, ako nalang mag-isa sa lake.

"Harry!" tawag ko sa kaniya pero walang sumasagot. Nagsimula na akong balutin ng takot. I took a deep breath again for a second dive. The cold water is seeping through my bones. Hindi kagaya kanina ay medyo nagiging malinaw na ang paningin ko. Nagpalinga-linga ako sa paligid. Ganun pa rin. I couldn't see any trace of him.

Did he dive deeper? What if something bad happened to him? Kami lang dalawa ang nandito? Goddamit!

Hindi ko maiwasang hindi mag-overthink. Umahon ulit ako at napahagulhol. "Harrry—"

"Hey," he suddenly appeared behind me. Sinuntok ko kaagad siya sa dibdib. He gave me a puzzled look. "Anong—"

"Alam mo bang sobra akong nag-aalala sa iyo!" I couldn't help the tears from streaming down my face. "I dove two times to search for you a-and... and..."

He chuckled and pulled me closer, pinning me to his muscular chest. "I'm sorry..." he murmured against my wet skin. "I was just fascinated underwater."

"D-Don't do that again! Pinapag-alala mo ako..." hikbi ko.

Guilt crossed his face upon hearing my cracked voice. "I'm sorry..." mas niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit. "C'mon, umahon na tayo."

I wiped my tears kahit na basa rin naman ang mukha ko. Sinundan ko si Harry. Padilim na nang padilim ang paligid. Inabutan niya ako ng towel nang makarating sa tent. I wrapped myself with the fluffy towel.

Harry took a step forward and hugged me again. "I'm really sorry, baby..." he said, kissing my forehead, the tip of my nose, until he reached my lips. Dumampi ang labi niya sa akin. I automatically parted my lips for him and let him nibble my lower lips. He tugged the back of my hair and pulled me closer. Nang itaas ko ang aking mga kamay para yakapin siya sa leeg ay nahulog ang nakabalot na towel sa aking likuran.

Halos mapugto ang hininga naming dalawa sa paghahalikan. Napasinghap ako nang maglakbay ang kanyang dila sa aking leeg. His other hand went under my black bikini and squeezed my breasts tightly na para bang nanggigigil siya.

He guided me inside the tent and wasted no time hunching his muscular body on top of me. Nagpatuloy kami sa paghahalikan. Harry harshly removed my bra to reveal my bare chest. He looked at me in awe before he started sucking my left breast. Napaungol ako.

Harry was about to pull my swimming trunks when we heard a voice from a distance. Dali-dali ko kaagad siyang itinulak at ibinalik ang aking bra. He cursed under his breath and had difficulty tearing himself away from me. Lumabas siya sa tent.

Lumabas na din ako nang maisuot ang bra at itinali ang buhok. Namumula ang buong mukha ko nang makitang ang matandang babae pala kanina sa may entrance ang narito.

"Dito ba kayo matutulog ngayong gabi?" pang-uusisa niya.

"Ah, opo." Harry answered politely.

"Paki-park nalang nang maayos ng sasakyan mo, hijo. May iba din kasing darating mamaya." wika ng matanda. She glanced at smiled at me. I smiled back and slipped on the slippers I brought.

"Sige po, salamat," aniya. The old woman nodded and walked away.

Nang mawala na siya sa paningin namin ay binalingan ako ni Harry. He gently pushed me inside the tent again.

"Now where were we?" he growled in my ears.

"Y-Yung sasakyan..." nauutal kong sagot. Hindi ako makapag-concentrate dahil sa init ng katawan niya at sa naglilikot niyang mga kamay.

"Damn that vehicle. Let's get back to business." He whispered devilishly before he covered my mouth with his.

---

Madilim na ang paligid nang magising ako. Giniginaw na ako sa lamig ng hangin. My naked body is wrapped with a thick blanket. Mula sa di kalayuan ay nakita ko ang anino ni Harry na naglalagay ng panggatong na kahoy sa apoy.

I put on some clothes first before I crawled outside the tent. Masuyo kong niyakap ang kaniyang likuran.

"Hey..." he smiled at me. May iba na palang tao sa lake. I saw three tents from a distance. Kids are laughing and howling in the dark. "Do you want to eat?" he said, leaning closer for a kiss.

"Mmm-hmmm..." I answered distractedly.

"Before we eat, I want you to get something from my suitcase." His eyes twinkled in delight. "It's my graduation gift for you."

Tumawa ako. "Isn't this a graduation gift already?"

"Nope. There's more." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Tatawa-tawa akong pumasok sa tent at binuksan ang kaniyang suitcase. My breath was caught in my throat when I saw a red velvet box sitting on top of his clothes. Lumakas ang pintig ng puso ko habang pinagmamasdan ito.

With shaky hands, I reached for the box. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang buksan ito at makompirma ang aking hinala. The pretty diamond ring shone in the darkness. My eyes are immediately filled with tears as emotions started to overwhelm me.

Ito ba ang gusto niyang ipakuha sa akin?

"He's such a sweet jerk..." I said to myself, wiping my tears.

Clutching the box tightly in my hands, I pulled myself up but something caught my eyes. Isa itong kapirasong papel na malapit nang mahulog mula sa bulsa ng kaniyang pantalon.

I reached for it. Hindi matanggal ang ngiti sa aking mga labi. Pero nawala din ito nang ibinuklat ko ang papel at nakita ang pamilyar na handwriting.

Fuck.

My head started to spin. Kahit ang nagsilbi ko lang ilaw ay ang apoy sa labas, pinilit kong basahin ang nakasulat. I could feel my heart pounding wildly inside of my chest. Paulit-ulit kong binasa ang nakasulat.

Natulala ako. Goddamit. It's Ate Annie's last entry of her diary.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko habang pinagmamasdan ang papel na nasa kaniyang pantalon. This is the missing page. He had it all by himself all this time....

"Hey, did you see the ring—" natigil siya nang makita kung anong hawak ko. The color drained from his face. "Mary Grace—"

"You knew about it all?" I asked in a shaky and small voice. Lumabas ako ng tent para harapin siya.

A panic look crossed his face. "I... I..."

"You knew about it all, Harry!" I screamed to his face. Napatingin sa amin ang ibang nagc-camp but I couldn't care less. My entire body started trembling.

I clamped my mouth with my hand as the sob rose to my throat. Sunod-sunod na ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko.

"Kailan pa?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Harry hung his head in shame.

"Kailan pa, Harry!" sigaw ko sa kaniya. Niyugyog ko ang kaniyang balikat at hinanap ang kaniyang mga mata.

"Right after her funeral." He murmured.

Nabitawan ko siya at napaatras. "Y-You... You've known it for so long!" I cried harder. "Goddamit, Harry! Matagal mo na palang alam ang nangyari sa aming dalawa tapos wala ka man lang sinabi?!" naisabunot ko ang aking mga kamay sa buhok sa frustration. "How could you do this to me...." I sobbed.

"Mary Grace, please—"

"Don't call my name!" umatras ako sa kaniya at idinuro siya. "Don't call my name from now on..." umiiling ako habang naglalandas ang mga luha galing sa mga mata ko. "I... I don't know you..."

"Please, tell me what to do..." he said desperately. "I'd do anything for you...."

"No!" I cried. Then suddenly, realization dawned on me. Nagkatugma-tugma na ang mga pangyayari. It was like a solving a jigsaw puzzle right in front of my eyes. "H-Harry..." I croaked. Halos hindi na siya makatingin sa akin.

"Are you the one who killed Uncle Thomas?"

He hung his head lower.

"Harry!" I grabbed his limp arms. "A-Are you the one?"

"I love you, Mary Grace... so damn much."paos ang kaniyang boses na sinabi.

Mas lalong lumakas ang aking iyak. "I-ikaw?" halos hindi makapaniwala kong tanong.

He nodded his head slowly. Para na akong tinakasan ng hininga sa mga sandaling iyon. Mas lalong lumakas ang aking hagulhol.

"I killed him for you, Mary Grace. Because I love you so much it kills me to see you like this..." he tried to touch me but I swat his hands away.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed. "Don't you ever touch me or see me again!" garalgal ang aking boses. Kahit nanginginig ang mga tuhod ay tumalikod ako sa kaniya at naglakad papalayo. Realizing I still have the ring on my hands, itinapon ko ito at tumakbo.

"Mary Grace!"