Thirteen

The first night Uncle Thomas stayed in the house was horrible. Natatakot akong bumaba nang madaling araw para uminom ng tubig dahil nasa baba silang dalawa natutulog ni Tito Alistair. I am also forced to join breakfast with them the next morning.

"Naalala mo pa ba ang lake house sa Davao Oriental, Mary Grace?" Tito Alistair asked cheerfully while he was digging into his meal, smiling widely at me.

Of course. How can I forget it?

I gave him a nod and a tight smile.

"Well, why don't you guys visit it again?" He suggested. My eyes widened in horror. Napatingin kaagad ako kay Uncle Thomas na nakangiti nang nakatingin sa akin. Kaagad akong nag-iwas ng tingin. This sick moron. "Namimiss ko nang makabonding kayo sa lake house, boring kasi palagi nalang kaming dalawa ni Thomas dun,"

"Great idea!" Mother beamed. Tiningnan niya si Dad. "What do you think?"

"I thought we're going to Tagaytay right after Annie's board exam?" Dad said, clearly not interested as to where this conversation was going. I practically begged inside of my head that Dad will oppose the idea of going back to that lake house. Ni ayaw ko ngang makita ang mga litrato namin doon.

"Yes, we are. You can crash at our place this coming summer vacation," Binalingan ni Tito Alistair si Ate Annie. "What do you think about it, dear? I'm sure kasal na kayo ni Harry niyan," biro niya.

"No one is marrying my daughter until she turns 25." Dad deadpanned. "Masyado pa silang bata,"

Ate Annie chuckled. "Nagbibiro lang po si Tito Alistair, Dad. And besides, marriage hasn't even crossed my mind right now. Masyado pa akong busy sa pagre-review."

"I'm sure Harry can wait," Mum butted in. "He's a good guy."

"Where'd you met him, anyway?" Uncle Thomas asked.

"He's a graduating student in our university. We shared art class and then became study buddies later on."

"That boy is not only genetically blessed but he's also talented! Have you seen his designs, babe? It's remarkable. Diba you're planning to build a resto in Davao Oriental? Why don't we hire him as our interior designer?" Tito Alistair beamed.

"That's a great opportunity for him."Dad agreed. Binalingan niya si Ate. "You should tell him that,"

"Of course," She smiled at them before she continued on eating.

"Excuse me," I pulled myself up. Napatingin na naman silang lahat sa akin. I glanced at my wristwatch. "I'm running late for my first period class,"I said silently.

I gave my parents a quick kiss before I headed out of the house. Bago ko pa tuluyang maisara ang pintuan, I even heard Tito Alistair asked my parents if something is wrong with me. Kesyo ang tahi-tahimik ko daw ngayon at halos hindi na daw ako makausap. Umalis na kaagad ako bago ko pa marinig ang sagot ni Mommy sa tanong niya.

I sighed. Why don't you ask your partner, Tito Alistair?

---

As per usual, nawalan na naman ako ng gana na pumasok sa klase ko. I'm sure Mr. Siang wouldn't appreciate my presence right now especially when I'm not in the mood to listen to any of his discussions. I plugged in my earphones and went straight into the abandoned CR of 1-B building. Napapadalas na ang pagtambay ko dito and I'm glad no one has ever seen me hanging out by myself in this place otherwise I will be surely sent to the guidance office.

"Ay, shit!"

Napa-atras ako nang makita kong may nakatambay na pala sa CR. Dalawa silang babae. They are both not wearing their upper uniform, just brallettes on. One of them, a petite girl with a bob cut hair quickly grabbed the foil on the sink and slip it into her pocket. While the other one is staring wide-eyed at me.

I sighed. "Don't worry, hindi ko kayo isusumbong." Then my face crunched a little. "You two reek of weed."

"Of course, we do." The petite girl fished something from her bag and pulled out her wrinkled white uniform. Isinuot niya iyon.

"Ikaw si Mary Grace Ferguson, diba?" The other girl asked carefully. She did not bother to put her uniform on. I locked the door behind me and nodded.

"Yes. Sino kayo? Ngayon ko pa lang kayo nakita dito ah,"I said.

"Ako si Nikka," The petite girl introduced herself. Tapos itinuro niya ang isang babae. "Siya naman si Juliet."

I nodded my head in recognition. "I haven't seen you around. Irregular students?"

"Nope." Juliet answered while playing with her hair. "Sophomores, actually. We practically spend everyday at the old playground doing pot sessions but that nasty old woman reported us to the local police kaya wala kaming choice kundi pumasok at maghanap ng ibang lugar,"

I dropped my bag into the floor and sat down cross-legged. "Really?" I said, amused. "That means I can't have my own session there too," I chuckled humourlessly.

"Wow." Nikka said, bemused. "Who would've think that you're smoking weed, Ferguson? Muntik na kaming mamatay sa gulat kanina nang bigla kang pumasok. I thought you are one of those goody-two shoes who will immediately report us to the guidance office."

"If I do I might as well report myself," Biro ko. I waved my hands dismissively. "But yeah, go ahead. Smoke all you want. Tumatambay lang ako dito because I don't want to attend any of my class,"

"Some depressed friend we've got here," Nikka said, taking out the foil from her pocket. Tahimik lang silang dalawa sa ginagawa nila habang ako naman ay kumakain ng sandwich that I've grabbed from breakfast earlier. Hindi ako nakakakain nang maayos with Uncle Thomas smirking at me every now and then.

My thoughts went back to Harry. Ate Annie must've warned him not to talk to me anymore pagkatapos nilang mag-away. The thought of not being able to speak to Harry about books, literature, and any of my random craps makes my heart sink. Jeremy keeps on texting me. Alam kong nagagalit na siya dahil ilang araw na akong hindi nagpapakita sa kanya.I pulled my phone from my pocket and typed a quick message to him saying that I'd meet him at Karlo's coffee shop at 5.

Right after the bell rang for the last period, Juliet put on her uniform. Nagsimula na din silang magligpit. I pulled myself up and dusted up my skirt.

"Will you be here tomorrow?" I asked them.

Juliet nodded. "Probably. Since we don't have a choice, dito nalang kami. I'm hoping you don't mind?"

"Of course, I don't." I gave them a tight smile.

Nikka fished something from her bag again. At first, I thought the tiny white bottle is just vitamins. But then she handed it to me. Napatingin ako dito saka kumunot ang noo ko.

"What's this?"

"If you ever feel like ending all this shit, all you need to do is to take it," She said without a hint of humor dancing in her eyes.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"You know, depressed people recognizes depressed people. I can see it from your eyes. You're a lot worse than the two of us."

I stared into the bottle again. "It's Amitriptyline." I muttered.

"Yep. Just swallow the pills and you'll be in dreamland forever," She joked, but I know she meant it. "I don't have any idea what the fuck happened to you, but I know I won't be needing that pills anymore. Who knows? Baka magamit mo nga talaga yan,"

Hindi ako sumagot. Juliet just gave me a sympathetic look before they both exited the comfort room. After a while, I slipped the bottle into my bag and headed outside. Nakipagkita ako kay Jeremy just like what I've promised. He invited me to his house and I did not hesitate to agree. I would rather spend my time with him than to endure an agonizing dinner with Uncle Thomas at home.

---

Nang makauwi ako sa bahay, mag-aalas dyes na ng gabi. Mother was standing by the doorway, waiting for me. She gave me a disapproving look when I entered the house.

"Ano bang nangyayari sa iyo, Mary Grace?" tanong niya sa akin nang nilampasan ko siya. Ni hindi ko man lang siya binati. "Your professor called me and said that you haven't attended any of your class! What's wrong, anak? May problema ka ba?"

I chewed on my bottom lips. Tito Alistair must've noticed that we were having an argument because he retreated to the kitchen the moment he saw us.

"Nothing," I replied silently.

"Mary Grace—"

"Look Mom, I'm dealing with something.... really difficult right now," I stared into her eyes and immediately felt guilty when I saw the sadness pooling in her beautiful orbs. "I just... I think I'm not ready to talk about it right now."

It took her a couple agonizing seconds before she weakly nodded her head. She stroked my hair affectionately. "Basta anak, kung kailan mo ng kausap nandito lang ako. I love you, okay?"

"Yeah." I said, not being able to reply to her I love you. Tahimik akong pumasok sa kwarto ko. I fished for my phone inside my bag and saw the white bottle inside begging to be noticed. I locked the door and change into my favorite dress. It's a vintage hollister dress I saw on a thrift shop na kaagad kong binili. It's my favorite dress despite my collection of branded items out there. But this is only the first time I'm going to wear this little red dress.

Now, I only wear this dress on a very special occasion. Pinagmasdan ko ulit ang pills. I guess this is a special occasion for me, indeed.