Seven

He hugged me again tightly. Nakita kong nakatingin na sa aming dalawa si Grand Ida, kaya bahagya ko siyang itinulak. He gave me a questioning look.

"Ah, ano..." I trailed off. Bigla akong kinabahan sa presensiya ni Harry. I wanted to talk to him badly when I saw him in Davao. Pero hindi ko nagawa. Naduwag ako. At ngayong nandito na siya sa harapan ko, I'm acting like a young and lost puppy. Naduduwag pa rin ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano magsisimula o kung may masisimulan ba ako.

"Kath?" Napalingon kaming dalawa ni Harry nang tuluyang lumapit na si AJ sa amin. Nakakunot ang noo niya. Harry's lips went into a thin line as he stared back at AJ with an equal frown on his face. "Sino siya?"

"Si Harry." Tahimik kong sagot. Mukhang nakuha niya naman ang gusto kong ipahiwatig dahil tumango siya. Binalingan ko si Harry na seryoso pa ring nakatingin kay AJ. "Harry, si AJ. He saved my life."

He hissed and grabbed my right hand. "We need to talk." Deklara niya.

"Teka nga lang, nasasaktan si Kath!" awat ni AJ, at inagaw din ang kaliwang kamay ko. Napapikit ako. This seems like a cheap melodrama. Parang gusto kong matawa sa tadhana. Gino-goodtime ata ako.

"Her name is Mary Grace, not Kath." Harry growled in a low voice. Kinilabutan ako. Sobrang lalim nito. He moved closer to AJ, since he's a few inches taller than both of us, he towered us without difficulty. His brooding eyes pierced AJ. I chewed on my lips and shot my friend a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry, AJ. May pag-uusapan lang kami ni Harry... magiging okay ako. Okay lang ako." Alanganin kong sagot.

Ilang segundo niya akong tinitigan, para bang pinag-aaralan kung totoo ang sinasabi ko o hindi bago niya dahan-dahang binitawan ang kamay ko. Tahimik akong nagpasalamat sa kanya bago ako sumunod kay Harry. I can see that it's his first time in the place, because he didn't know where to go. I think he just wanted to get off from the crowd and from AJ's suspicious looks.

I sighed. "Why don't we go to my room?" I asked silently, tugging his shirt.

Tiningnan niya ako saglit bago siya tumango. Tahimik kaming naglakad pabalik sa cape. Nilagpasan namin ang function hall at nagtuloy-tuloy sa mga kwartong nakahilera para sa mga turista. Nasa pinakadulo ang kwarto ko. I was blessed with a terrace that provides a magnificent view of the Pacific ocean every morning. I fumbled with my keys and open the door to my room. I let him step inside first. I click the lights on and finally shut the door, drowning the voice and noise of the crowd from the outside.

Sobrang tahimik. Walang nagsasalita ni isa sa amin. Nakatayo lang ako sa may pintuan. Si Harry naman ay nakatayo isang pulgada mula sa akin. He tightened the grip on his backpack before he let out a frustrated sigh and dropped it to the floor.

"So, you really went here, huh?" he mused out loud.

I licked my lower lips. Harry's eyes never left my face. I suddenly feel anxious. He must think that I've turned into a complete weirdo, with a green hair and lots of tattoos. Hindi ko pa naipapaliwanag sa kanya kung bakit Kath ang tawag sa akin ni AJ.

Pinilit kong pakalmahin ang sarili. Nagtungo ako sa kama at naupo sa dulo. Sinundan ako ng tingin ni Harry. I smiled weakly at him. "I never thought someone would find me here."

Marahas niyang binuksan ang bag at inilabas ang isang copy ng The Great Escape. Pagalit niya itong ibinagsak sa kama. Napapitlag ako.

"Who are you kidding, Mary Grace? I knew from the moment I've read the book that it's you. Ikaw si Katherine Lagmadeo, diba?" he demanded.

Napakagat ako ng labi sa sinabi niya. "Harry..."

"Bakit ka umalis? Bakit ka nawala ng dalawang taon? Bakit hindi mo ako hinintay?" sunod-sunod niyang tanong. I could hear the frustration on his voice. "Dammit, Mary Grace! Why did you fucking left me?!" He growled. His eyes watered in tears again, searching for answers in my own eyes.

Nanginig ako sa boses niya. It's so different. Ibang-iba sa malambing niyang tono noon. But there was a hint of sadness. A trace of pain in every word he says. Nangilid kaagad ang mga luha ko sa mata.

"I..."

Before I could answer, he engulfed me into a hug again as if he couldn't get enough of me. "I've been looking for you all this time..." He muttered, his voice softer this time. "I think I'm going insane. I spent the last two years looking for you like a stupid fucktard. Hindi ko alam kung saan ka nagpunta... hindi ko alam kung babalik ka pa..." nilakumos ng kaliwa niyang kamay ang tela ng aking suot na t-shirt.

I lean my head on his large shoulders. Niyakap ko siyang muli. "Harry... I'm sorry.." I murmured.

Hindi na siya sumagot. Nakayakap lang siya sa akin. He wouldn't let go of me.

"Magpapaliwanag—"

"Ssh..." He pulled me into the bed with him. His hands are still around me. He pulled me closer to him. "Let's talk tomorrow. I want to make the most out of this moment. God, I badly missed you."

Halos hindi na ako makahinga sa pagkakabaon ng mukha ko sa dibdib niya. Pero hindi na ako nagreklamo. Isang pahapyaw na ngiti ang gumuhit sa mga labi ko. His eyes were intensely fixed on me, na para bang maglalaho ako na parang bula kapag inalis niya ang paningin sa akin.

I don't remember any of his words because tiredness pulled me to sleep but I remembered sleeping in the same position. For the past two years, nakatulog din ako nang mahimbing, inhaling his manly scent.

---

Nang magising ako kinabukasan ay nakapulupot pa rin ang malaking braso ni Harry sa akin. The sunlight streamed from my open window. Naaamoy ko din ang alat at naririnig ang malalakas na bugso ng alon mula sa baba.

Dumako ang tingin ko sa natutulog na mukha ni Harry. He looks so peaceful. Far from his troubled face when I saw him in Davao. Ilang minuto ko din siyang pinagmasdan before I attempted to get out of bed.

He immediately growled. Mas hinigpitan niya ang yakap sa akin.

"Kukuha lang ako ng tubig—"

"Don't go." He said firmly. Nakapikit pa rin ang mga mata niya. A scowl appeared on his face.

I sighed. He can be stubborn at times. Pinilit ko nalang na bumalik sa pagkakatulog. Nagising nalang ako nang maramdamang may humahalik-halik sa mga labi ko. I lifted my head automatically, bumping our heads in the process. Ang mapipintog na labi ni Harry ang una kong nakita. Inilayo niya ang mukha sa akin, then he gave me a sly smile.

"Morning." He murmured.

I blinked. Tapos tiningnan ko ang orasan. "Tanghali na." I grunted. Buti nalang at hindi nagbubukas ang cafe sa January 1. Bukas pa kaya wala akong trabaho ngayon. I finally climb out of the bed, Harry trailing after me kahit saan ako magpunta. I opened the fridge and snatched a bottled water. Binuksan ko iyon. Habang lumalagok ako ng tubig ay nakatitig ang mga mata ko kay Harry na mataman ding nakatingin sa akin.

I pulled the bottle away from my face, place back its cap, and put it back into the fridge.

"What do you want to do?" I said, trying to sound casual and pretend that we have not seen each other for over two years because I ran away.

"Talk." Harry answered. "I was too exhausted yesterday. Forgive me. I know I sounded harsh."

Tumango-tango ako. Isang maliit na ngiti ang sumilay sa labi ko nang makakita ng hindi ko pa nabubukas ng Chuckie. I snatched it and threw it at him. He catched it with his dominant hand effortlessly.

"Then we'll talk." I declared. Lumapit ako sa bintana upang tingnan ang lighthouse sa labas. Lumapit din siya sa bintana. "Maybe I could sneak you in the lighthouse..." I muttered under my breath.

"Anywhere's fine, as long as I get to talk to you."

Nilingon ko siya only to find out that his face is just inches away from me. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa mga labi niya. It's still the same as I have remembered. I quickly pulled away before I could stop myself from kissing the hell out of him.

Naglakad ako patungo sa CR. Nakabuntot pa rin si Harry sa akin. Napabuntong-hininga ako at hinarap siya.

"Gagamitin ko ang CR, hanggang dito ba ay susundan mo pa rin ako?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, as long as I'm not going to lose you in my sight again." He said seriously.

Gusto ko sanang tumawa pero nasaktan ako sa sinabi niya. I made him this way. Takot siyang tumakbo ako ulit at iwan siya.

Ilang segundo din kaming nakatayo at nagtititigan before I fake a laugh. It sounded so awkward dahil huli na. "Huwag kang mag-alala, walang bintana ang CR kaya hindi ako makakatakas. You can guard the door if you want."

He opened his mouth but before he could answer, I immediately slip inside the CR and closed the door. A few seconds went by before he started banging it.

"Hey, that was not fair!" He yelled from the other side.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. Dati-rati'y normal ko naman siyang nakakausap. Pero ngayon ay palagi nang nanginginig ang mga labi ko at hindi ako nakakapag-isip nang maayos kapag nandiyan siya. I thought his effect on me last time was at its peak, may mas titindi pa pala.

Dali-dali akong naligo. I wrapped a white fluffy towel around my dripping body. My green hair turned darker and longer because it's wet. I let it cling on my back. I stepped out of the CR and saw Harry waiting just a few feet from the door. I gave him a suprised look. Talagang sineryoso niya ang sinabi ko?

Pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin. Nag-init ang mga pisngi ko before I grabbed a book from my side and threw it at his face. "Huwag ka ngang tumingin!" I complained.

He chuckled, rubbing his nose. Tumalikod siya. "Fine, fine. Wala namang pinagbago eh. It's still small."

Parang gusto kong magpalamon sa lupa sa sinabi niya. Does he really have to remind our steamy moments way back when we're still together?

I slapped his back that made him chuckle. Then I immediately slip on some track pants and oversized shirt. Nang matapos na akong magbihis ay si Harry naman ang naligo. While he was still inside, pumunta ako sa terasa at pinagmasdan ang dagat.

I will never get tired of the Pacific Ocean's magnificent view. Through my darkest hours, it has been there for me. The thing about this beautiful sea is it doesn't give a damn if I appreciate its beauty or not. Araw-araw ay humahalik ang alon sa puti at pinong buhangin ng dalampasigan. Even in stormy nights, the violent waves are still beautiful to look at.

Pinagmasdan ko ang isang batang mangingisda na nagsasagwan sa kanyang maliit na bangka. He must've spotted me staring at him through the cliff because he waved his hands. Tumango ako at kinawayan din siya.

Napalingon kaagad ako nang makarinig ako ng yapak papunta sa kinaroroonan ko. I smiled tightly at Harry. He's dressed in a plain white v-neck shirt, black jeans, and worn-out sneakers. His usual attire. But he looks incredibly hot. Gone is the boyish features because it was replaced with a masculine aura lingering around him. I watched his muscles flexed as he walk towards me with such grace only a fully-grown man could muster.

"Tara?" yaya ko sa kanya. Nagsimula na akong maglakad palabas at nagtungo sa kinatitirikan ng lighthouse. I squinted my eyes to get a better view of the large lighthouse that guides the sailors back into the shore way back in time. Ang laking tulong nito noong unang panahon. Ngayon ay isa nalang magandang landmark para sa mga taga Governor Generoso.

Pumasok ulit kami sa loob. Wala ang harang na mga kahoy. Marahil ay hindi na ibinalik nila Nilo kaninang madaling-araw sa sobrang pagod. Pagdating namin sa taas ay mayroon pang dalawang upuan at mga naiwang paputok.

I dragged a chair and sat in front of it. Iminuwestra ko ang isang upuan kay Harry. He sat across of me. Dahil sa kanyang katangkaran ay nasasagi ng kanyang tuhod ang hita ko. But I didn't mind it.

He stared at me for a long period of time. My cheeks started burning. "What?" nahihiya kong tanong. I didn't bother to do my make-up or fix myself. When I'm around with Harry, I don't always feel the need to impress.

He sighed. He leaned back into his chair, not taking his eyes away from me. "I can't believe it's you. Ikaw. Mary Grace. Nasa harapan ko. Ngayon." Isang ngiti ang sumilay sa kanyang mga labi. Nagsimula na namang maghurementado ang puso ko.

I looked away, breaking the intense eye contact. Nang balingan ko siya ulit ay malungkot na ang mga nagtatanong nitong mga mata. I knew I haven't answered any of his questions last night. At hindi ko rin alam kung paano ito sasagutin nang hindi siya nasasaktan.

"Mary Grace..." He started slowly. "I'm going to ask you again. Why did you left me?" bakas ang hinanakit sa boses niya.

Napayuko ako. Hindi ko na yata kayang tingnan si Harry nang direkta sa mga mata. Nahihiya ako sa ginawa ko.

"I'm sorry..." I muttered again. "I was a coward back then. Up until now."

Hindi siya umimik.

"The night I called you..." A sob rose to my throat. I can't believe I'm opening my mouth to talk about these things again after two years of burying it deep down inside of me. "I was really out of mind. I... I needed your help. Alam kong ikaw lang ang makakatulong sa akin."

"You went to the estate, right?" He said, more of a statement than a question. "I saw you on the CCTV. I even found your phone just outside our house. I still have it in my bag right now."

Tumango-tango ako.

"And? What did you hear?" He pressed.

Nagsimulang mangilid ang mga luha ko. Bigla kong naalala ang mga sigaw ni Pinky sa kanya. Ang pang-aakusa niya kay Harry.

"Harry... totoo ba yun? Ang mga narinig ko? Na... na pinapaikot mo lang ako para imbestigahan ang pagkamatay ng ate ko?" The words sounded so painful in my own mouth. He looked surprised. Matagal din bago siya nakasagot. Pinanghinaan ako ng loob.

"Yes." He admitted as both our shoulders slumped down in disappointment. "Yes, I did. I'm not going to deny it. At first, it was the reason why I kept lingering around you."

I wanted to close my eyes shut and not listen to him anymore. Pinilit ko ang sarili kong huwag umalis sa kinauupuan ko at tumakbo pababa. I held his gaze.

Nagulat ako nang bigla niyang hatakin ang upuan ko nang walang kahirap-hirap. He leaned in closer and rested his forehead with mine.

"I was frustrated that time. Mahal ko si Annie. Minahal ko si Annie. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit siya nagpakamatay. Kaya kita kinakausap at nilalapitan."

Nagbabadya na naman ang mga luha ko.

"I don't think I can bear—"

"Ssh..." He place his fingers against my cold trembling lips and brush it lightly. "Let me finish first. Just... listen. Listen to me first."

Marahan akong tumango, blinking my tears back.

"I enjoyed your company. You're not the little girl who hides behind your father's legs and squirmed as I have remembered. Ang akala ko'y mahihirapan ako sa iyo. But no, Mary Grace. You are as welcoming as what home feels like. At first, I wanted to go out with you to dig information but I found myself going out with you simply because I wanted to. And believe me when I say I want you because I really do."

Napasinghap ako sa sinabi niya. I stared at the shadows casted on his cheeks because of his long lashes. My lips trembled.

"Mary Grace, kung ano man ang narinig mo mula kay Ate Pinky, hindi yun totoo. She's just frustrated that night. Inatake si Dad pero nagpumilit pa rin akong lumabas ng bahay. She's just like that but she loves Dad so much. Kaya siguro nasabi niya ang mga bagay na iyon sa akin dahil sa galit. You weren't supposed to hear it, but you did. That's one of the reasons you ran away, right?"

Marahan akong tumango. Pinalis niya ang tumulong luha sa pisngi ko.

"You are my fucking home, Mary Grace. And home is not suppose to run away from its owner. You'll always belong to me." He said in a hoarse voice, as if he's trying to swallow a sob as well.

He wrapped his strong arms around my delicate shoulder blades and pulled me closer. Sumandal ako sa dibdib niya at tahimik na umiyak.

"I don't want to lose you again. I hope you believed on everything I said. It's all true."

Tumango-tango ako at kumalas sa pagkakayakap niya. Tinitigan ko siya sa mata.

"There's something you need to know..."

He nodded encouragingly. "It's about Ate Annie." I bit my lower lips and turn my gaze away from him. "The pills... Harry, sa akin galing ang pills..." Napahagulhol ako. "It was partly my fault why she died. She took the pills I was supposed to use to kill myself as well. I don't know how she found it on my room but it wasn't supposed to be her's. She wasn't supposed to die. It was supposed to be me..."

A few agonizing moment of silence stretched before the two of us. He slowly nodded his head, searching for my eyes. "I see..." He said silently.

"You must've hate me now—"

"No." He cut me off and cupped my cheeks. I looked at him through blurry eyes. "I don't hate you. Alam ko na ito, Mary Grace. I'm glad you told me the truth."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Paanong nalaman—"

"Your parents investigated the whole incident from the start." He stated. I immediately tensed up. "Alam kong hindi ka pa handang pag-usapan ito. Huwag kang mag-alala. We'll take it slow, baby. I'm not going to rush you."

"Harry..." was all I could say through my sobs.

He closed his eyes as if savoring the moment. Then a sexy half-smile tugged on his lips. "Say it again..." idinilat niya ang mga mata niya at nakipagtitigan sa akin. "Please..."

Lumunok ako. I held his gaze as well. "Harry..." basag ang boses kong wika.

He looked like he was about to cry. He pulled me into a tight hug again. "I want that..." he said slowly. "I want that, Mary Grace. I like the way you say my name. I like your smile, your scars and even your bullshits. I really want you..."