Nine

He grabbed my arms before I could distance myself from him. I turned at him. His eyes glared with loneliness swirling in his dark orbs. His lips went into a thin line.

"Bakit? Mas may diin niyang tanong sa akin.

I glared at him as well. Pinilit kong kunin ang braso ko pero hindi ko ito matanggal mula sa pagkakahawak niya. The silence let the beach waves from below us perform its consistent and melodic hymn.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. There's no use of getting mad at each other. I couldn't blame him if he'll feel disheartened that I don't have any intention of going back to the life I used to have after he just spent his two years of looking for me.

"Harry... you don't understand." I said meekly. "Can't you see? I'm happy with my life right now. I'm happy being called Kath instead of Mary Grace. I'm happy being a humbled waitress instead of being the businessman's daughter. I'm happy to break free." I searched for understanding in his eyes but all I could see is sadness and despair. I bit on my lower lips. "Matagal ko nang pinatay si Mary Grace. I am living as Katherine now."

"No..." iniling-iling niya ang ulo niya na para bang hindi naniniwala sa akin. "You mean you'll just send me away after I've finally found you?" The disbelief is evident in his eyes. Hindi niya pa rin binibitawan ang braso ko.

Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya. "I don't have a choice. You don't need to live here, Harry. Wala dito sa cape ang buhay mo. And I know you'll have a much better life kung lalayo ka dito. May tiwala ako sa iyo, alam kong hindi mo naman ito sasabihin kina Mommy at Daddy, diba?"

Siya naman ang nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin. My heart sank into my chest.

"If you choose to do so, then I'll have no choice but to pack my things and leave again..." I announced silently.

"Why are you always running away?!" he turned his head sharply at me. Napapitlag ako sa biglaang pagtaas ng boses niya. I stepped back and he finally let go of my arms. "Bakit?!"

My lips trembled and my eyes water at his question. Bakit nga ba?

"Mary Grace, not once did I doubt your feelings for me. You separated yourself from the rest of us but it doesn't mean that I'll stop loving you. So why are you doubting me? Bakit hindi ka naniniwala na hindi kita iiwan? It's so fucking ironic for me to spat this words when you were the one who just ran off and left me behind!"

Damang-dama ko ang hinanakit sa boses niya. My knees suddenly felt like Jell-O. I looked for something that can provide support but saw none. So I quietly padded towards the bed and sat on the edge to keep myself together. Harry gazed at me.

"Mary Grace..."

Nagsimula nang tumulo ang mga luha ko. All these years, I burned and buried the ashes of memories inside of my mind. Ayoko nang balikan iyon. Harry, no matter how much I loved him, is burning me again with his presence. Para niyang ipinapaalala sa akin ang nakaraang tinatakasan ko.

"I..." I choked and wiped a tear but it keeps on rolling down my cheeks. "Harry..."

"Please, tell me. Fuck, nababaliw na ako." Ihinilamos niya ang palad sa kanyang mukha. He seems frustrated. "Tell me... Paano kita matutulungan kung hindi mo ako pagkakatiwalaan, Mary Grace? Please..." He literally begged.

Fresh fat tears escaped from my eyes with his words. Napahagulhol ako. Lumapit si Harry sa akin at lumuhod sa harapan ko. He held my hands. "Mary Grace..."

Between sobs, I tried to form an intelligible sentence but failed miserably. Through blurry vision, I saw Harry's glassy eyes and his trembling lips, na para bang pinipigilan niya din ang sarili na umiyak.

"Fuck, baby please... I need you to tell me..."

"Si... Si Uncle Thomas..." I stammered as memories of my ruined childhood flooded my mind once agian. "...Jeremy...."

His body tensed up. A low growl cut from his throat. "Bakit?" he asked in a low voice.

Nanginig ako. Harry held both my shoulders, trying to calm me down. I shut my eyes close, trying to remember what I should say or how I should choose my words carefully. But no matter how I decorate those words inside of my mind, it still hurt like a bitch.

"Mary Grace... what did they do to you?" he asked slowly.

Humikbi pa ako nang humikbi. Harry soothed my back and held my hands tightly.

"Please, baby. Tell me..." He cooed.

"I... was.. I was... r-raped." The words left a bitter taste on my mouth. Harry's whole body tensed. A tension started to build up between the two of us. I choke on my sob again, regretting every word I've said. Now he's disgusted with me. Great.

"You were what?" his voice is dangerously low. I dared to glance up at him and silently shrieked when I saw the dark expression on his face. His brooding eyes are flared with anger, disgust, and despair. His teeth clenched tightly. Nag-igting ang mga panga niya.

"Harry—"

"Tell me..." I was afraid of how calm his voice went despite his dark expression. Tumayo siya at binitawan ang mga kamay ko. Mas lalo akong napaiyak. "Just fucking tell me..."

Emotions overwhelmed me. I thought I couldn't breathe from crying. I've cried a lot especially on my first few nights here in cape San Agustin but this is far by most the hardest cry I've ever done since that night. Lahat ng sakit ay bumabalik at tumutusok sa dibdib ko.

"Uncle Thomas raped me..." I told him. "When I was still 8..." I couldn't recall where it happened so I skipped the part of it since my mind literally went blank right now. I know the place like the back of my hand. Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang lugar na iyon. But for some reason, I couldn't remember the name. Of how it even happened. How I let it happened in the first place. "And Jeremy..." I trailed off, tears streaming down my face again. "I broke up with him because he raped me—"

"FUCK!!" umalingawngaw ang pagkabasag ng malaki kong salamin sa malakas na suntok ni Harry. Nanlalaki ang mga mata kong tiningnan siya. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" paulit-ulit niyang mura habang paulit-ulit na sinusuntok ang salamin.

Tumayo kaagad ako nang makitang duguan na ang kamao niya. I tried to touch him pero para akong napaso sa balat niya.

"Harry..." I said miserably, crying.

Hot angry tears rolled down his face again. "Fuck, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him..." he said through gritted teeth.

"Harry, please..." I tried to sound soothing as much as I can but my broken voice betrayed me. "Please..."

He harshly ran his hand through his hair, collapsing on the floor. He pulled his knees up as his chest rise up and down heavily, blood dripping from his knuckles that turned white.

"Harry..." niyakap ko siya at umiyak. He hugged me back tightly as his silent tears seep into the fabric of my shirt. "I'm sorry..." I muttered.

"No." He said firmly. "I'm sorry..." basag na din ang boses niya. "I wasn't there to protect you. Goddamit, I'm so fucking dumb! Hindi ko alam... hindi ko alam na..." Even Harry had difficulty of muttering that word he left it hanging in his mouth. Mas hinigpitan nalang niya ang yakap niya sa akin.

Umiyak ako nang umiyak. I couldn't shake off the image of an 8-year old me under Uncle Thomas' large body and the 18-year old me helpless in Jeremy's grip.

"I'm here, I'm here..." Harry murmured. "I'm here, Mary Grace..." He stroked my hair affectionately, determined to help me calm down. "Baby please, I'm here..."

His big arms circled around my waist. Hindi pa rin ako tumatahan sa kakaiyak. He lifted me and carried me towards the bed without difficulty. He gently laid me down and joined me as we tangled our bodies on the sheet. I keep on rocking back and forth gently as I continued to cry.

Harry had been most patient with me. Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras akong umiyak. He just held me and whispered sweet nothings into my ear until I was too tired to cry and eventually fell asleep on his arms.

---

When I woke up, my eyes felt really heavy and puffy. I groaned, hating how dry my throat feels like. The first thing I saw is Harry's tear-drenched shirt. My gaze traveled up and saw his sleeping face. He looked equally tired. I immediately felt guilty and tried to move but just like before, his grip around my waist only tightened.

I hugged him back, but couldn't bring myself to smile. Nanatili lang akong nakayakap sa kanya, our legs tangling among the sheets. Harry's eyes fluttered open, then it gaze down lovingly at me.

"Feeling better now?" He asked softly.

I nodded my head, saying half the truth. "I need to drink water."

"Okay." He kissed me temple and slid out of the bed. I watched him approached the fridge and rummage through the contents before he grab a pitcher. He poured me a glass of water and went back to bed.

I mumbled my thanks and accepted the cold glass, feeling heavinly as the cool water glided the insides of my mouth down to my throat. Nang maubos ang laman ay inilapag ko iyon sa side table.

"Harry..." I trailed off.

His tired eyes shifted at my direction. Without saying anything, he pulled me again into a hug and let me sigh in his arms. "I'm sorry..."

"Ssh..." He scolded me like a 5-year old kid caught stealing cookies from the jar. "It's okay. You don't need to say sorry, Mary Grace. It's not your fault—"

"I lied." My eyes started watering again. Then I choked on my own sob. "I could've told you sooner but..." I trailed off again and started crying. Words couldn't described how afraid I am. Harry looked automatically problematic. He engulfed me into a hug and let me cry in his arms again.

My cheeks are still damped with tears when he pulled away and pressed his lips against mine. He gently nibbled my lower lips, trying to build up the sensation and succeeded without an effort. Tears are still streaming down my face as I responded to his kiss, his tongue trying to dominate my mouth.

Suddenly, bad memories started to fade inside of my mind as I lose myself in Harry's kisses. All I could ever think about is how I wanted his hands to touch not just my face and hands but parts of my body that are aching for his hot fingertips.

I slowly lay down on the bed as he went on top of me, not breaking the kiss and eye contact. Kissing him was like kissing the air, not caring if it prohibits me to breathe properly anymore. When we pulled away, we were both panting. I could feel his arousal in between my inner thighs.

"Mary Grace..." He bore his gaze into me as then his hot lips went down my neck and started placing wet kisses. Then he look up at me again. "I promise, from now on you're not going to cry over people who hurt you agian."

Nangilid ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. "You idiot." A strangled laugh cut its way from my throat. "That's not possible."

He just smiled knowingly, as if he knew something I didn't know about. When he attempted to lift up my shirt, my whole face flushed and sadness washed over me.

"Don't." I said, putting my hands over his to stop him from removing the fabric that is covering my body. "I don't want you to see..."

"Mary Grace," He slowly removed my hands and asked my terrified eyes for permission. We gazed at each other for a few seconds. "You're beautiful. There's no need to hide something from me. Your scar, your wounds, all of your bruises... let me get rid of it for you."

I chewed on my lower lips before I gave him a single nod. He smiled tightly at me before he successfuly lifted up my shirt. The cold air slap my exposed chest and skin gently, making me shiver. But Harry was quick to lay on top of me and his heat immediately radiated from his body towards me. He searched for my lips again, expertly unclasping my bra with his free hand.

The strap snapped as he clasped it free. His other hand automatically went to cover my breast, then his hungry lips lowered down my neck and suck on a sensitive flesh long enough to leave a red-purple bruise when his mouth left.

I whimpered as his hot mouth close over my nipple, making me rock my body towards him, not embarassed of wanting for more. I bit my lower lips as I felt his tongue creating circles around it while his other hand squeeze my other breast that longed for his attention.

When he was done, his mouth glided down, licking the moon tattoo situated just right under my right breast. He raised an eyebrow at me. "This Are dude did this?"

I nodded my head, flushed. He cursed under his breath. "Lucky him." He muttered under his breath. "But from now on, no one is allowed to see your body but me." he growled, full of authority. He trailed down from the tattoo down to my exposed stomach, making me tremble slightly. He tugged my shorts and underwear with ease, and my hands automatically went to cover my womanhood as my legs closed before him.

"Open up for me, Mary Grace..." he demanded. I felt all the blood in my face rushed to my cheeks. "I want to taste you.."

He put both of his hands on my legs. I shut my eyes close and spread it for him. I heart his grunt of satisfaction before I heard myself drowning in gasps when he lick my wet folds. My eyes rolled back in my skull as the pleasure hit me so hard I could barely remember my name.

He continued his sweet torture until I stopped bucking the bed and fisting the sheets. All the energy had been drained out of me, the extreme pleasure wouldn't allow me to move any longer. Harry dragged himself over me, his tall figure looming over my naked body. I grabbed his shorts and pulled the zipper down as his hardness sprang free. He quickly discarded his shirt as I explored his impressive anatomy.

I gulped. This pleasure and excitement weren't there when it was Uncle Thomas or Jeremy on top of me. The fear and disgust was now replaced by throbbing desire of having him inside of me. I dragged both his boxers and shorts down until we were both naked. He started sliding his impressive length up and down my wet folds as cry of satisfaction ripped through my throat.

"Harry... please..." I practically begged.

The amusement dancing on his eyes was replaced by pleasure and intensified desire. He positioned himself and slowly slide down. I placed my hands on his chest and gently flinched at the newfound intimacy I found on him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, suddenly alerted. He tensed up.

"I'm... fine." I squeaked.

"Are you sure? I could—"

Before he could finish his sentence, I thrust myself upward, my femine muscles enveloping the fullness of his length. "Shut up, Harry..." a sly smile appeared on my lips when he groaned and shut his eyes in satisfaction.

"You're killing me..." He murmured before he slowly puled out and gently jerk back, careful not to hurt me in the process. I wanted to cry in pleasure, happiness, and calmness I have just found. Harry's eyes never left mine until I felt his warm liquid shooting inside of me. He collapsed and buried his face on my neck. I wrapped my legs tighter around him and my arms around his muscular body.

"Thank you..." I whispered.

He lifted his head and gave me a questioning look. I smiled at him.

"God, Harry, I love you so much..." I closed my eyes to stop the tears from streaming down my face again.

His lips pressed gently on my forehead. "Yeah, I love you to, Mary Grace. Fuck it, I really do..."

---

listen to Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens it's so good i wanna cry T_T

and let's all appreciate Mary Grace's green hair bc it's really cool irl :>

comments are appreciated! :D