Epilogue

Long live the reckless and the brave!

-All Time Low

Tanging lagaslas lang ng batis ang naririnig ko at ang tawanan ng mga bata. The picturesque view of the white mansion pleased my eyes. I rocked back and forth on my chair, a small smile tugging on my lips.

"Ma, are you sure you wanted to dye your hair again?" my daughter gave me a disapproving look pero hawak-hawak na niya ang green dye at ang suklay.

Nginitian ko siya. "Of course, dear. I'm sure."

Bumuntong-hininga siya at napailing nalang. Pumunta siya sa aking likuran at inilugay ang nakatali kong buhok.

Patuloy kong pinagmasdan ang mga batang naglalaro. My daughter had bear wonderful children. I couldn't ask for more than seeing them happily playing around the white mansion. Paminsan-minsan ay nagpupunta sila sa batis para maligo.

Binilisan ni Elissa ang pagd-dye sa aking buhok nang marinig niyang umiyak si Tom. Marahil ay inaaway na naman ng ibang kapatid niya.

I remained outside the house for a while, drying my hair. Pagkatapos ng kalahating oras ay inalalayan ako ni Elissa para banlawan ang aking buhok. Habang binoblow-dry niya ang aking buhok ay nakaharap ako sa salamin ng nag-iisang tukador sa kwarto.

Kulubot na ang aking balat. Even with my newly-dyed hair, gray locks are seeping from my scalp. There are lines surrounding my eyes whenever I smile. My lips are chapped. Paos na rin at parating mahina ang boses ko. Maging ang pandinig ko ay humihina na rin.

But my memory is still the same. My memories did not fade a little. Everything seems vivid to me. Para bang kahapon lang nangyari ang lahat sa akin at ngayo'y walumpo't taong gulang na ako at may mga apo na.

I could still remember that fateful night. The night Harry admitted he killed my rapist. Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mukha niya noong gabing iyon. Parang hindi siya ang Harry na kilala ko.

I want to curse at him. To yell at him and let him out of my life! Thomas O'Connor may have destroyed my childhood but he did not deserve to die. He did not deserve to be killed. No one in this world has the right to take another man's life.

"Ma? Kakain na po tayo..." tinapik-tapik ni Elissa ang balikat ko, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Nginitian ko siya. They have the same expressive eyes. The same angled jaw. How can I forget?

Using my cane, I padded out of my room. Maiingay ang mga apo ko sa lamesa. All of them are trying to kill each other. If not for their father, hindi ata sila titigil sa pagtatalo.

Elissa guided me to the table. When I finally sat down, tinanguan ako ng kanyang asawa na si Frank. We said our grace and feast the food. Maiingay pa rin ang mga bata.

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa bakanteng upuan. The plate is still there. Pero walang gumagalaw. Siguro ay nakagawian na ni Elissa na ilagay ang plato doon.

"Gusto niyo bang magpahangin na muna, Ma?" tanong ni Elissa.

Tumango ako sa kanya. Nagpatulong siya sa kanyang asawa para alalayan ako papunta sa terasa ng bahay. Harry designed the house. I can see his own style in every corner, every fixture, every fitting of the white mansion.

I sat down on my rocking chair. Lumapit ang isa kong apo sa akin. Si Jenora.

"Lola, diba gusto niyo ng kanta ng Snow Patrol?"

Tumango ako at nginitian siya. I started stroking her hair.

"Kakantahan po kita ng Chasing Cars!" masigla niyang wika.

She sat down in front of me and started singing.

Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko nang gabing iyon. Nanginginig ang mga labi at tuhod ko.

"Mary Grace—"

"Don't touch me!" iwinaksi ko ang mga kamay niya. I took a step back. Nagpalinga-linga ako sa paligid. Sobrang dilim na. I couldn't make out anything except for Harry's shadows in the dark and the looming trees around us.

"Please listen to me," he said in a broken voice.

Tulo pa rin nang tulo ang mga luha ko. I gritted my teeth in anger. Sobrang sakit na ng paa ko sa kakatakbo. I tried looking for the damn entrance but I couldn't find it. Ngayon ay hindi ko na alam kung nasaan kami. Nasa loob pa ba kami ng vegetation? O baka nasa kabilang property na kami?

"Please..." Harry pleaded. Napatingin ulit ako sa kanya. Even in the dark, his glassy eyes shone with tears. "I need you to listen to me."

"You killed someone, Harry." I said, my voice trembling in fear, anger, and betrayal. "Kahit gaano pa ka-demonyo si Uncle Thomas, hinding-hindi ko magagawang kunin ang buhay niya. What makes you think you have the right to take another person's life, huh? For pete's sake, Harry, you killed someone!" I cried.

"I only did it because of you..."

I snorted, tears streaming down my face. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Bumagsak ang kaniyang mga balikat sa aking tanong. "I want you to feel safe again, Mary Grace. God knows how much I blame myself for what happened to Annie. If only I have known it earlier, buhay pa sana siya ngayon."

Kumirot ang puso ko upon the mention of my sister's name.

"Do you think she'll be happy of what you've done?" mahina ang aking boses at nangangatal din ako sa lamig pero hindi ko iyon pinahalata. "Do you think she'll be proud that you killed someone?"

Umatras ako nang humakbang papalapit sa akin si Harry. Before I could run again, he grabbed my arms and pulled me into a tight hug. Nagsisigaw ako at pinagsusuntok ang kaniyang dibdib.

What broke my heart the most is when I felt his entire body wrecking in painful sobs as he cried hard on my neck. Hot tears are seeping into my skin.

"Let me go!" buong-lakas ko siyang itinulak pero wala rin akong nagawa. Unti-unti nang humina ang aking boses. "Harry... please, let me go..."

His sobs echoed throughout the dark forest. Mas humigpit ang kaniyang yakap sa akin at ibinaon lalo ang kaniyang mukha sa aking leeg.

"I love you... Please, I'm so inlove with you... I love you... I love you..."

My heart swelled painfully inside of my chest. How could I ask this man to let go of me when I am madly inlove with him too?

"You lied to me..." I sobbed.

"I'm sorry... I love you... Please... I'm sorry. Sobrang mahal na mahal kita..."

"Why did you turn into a murderer?" pagak ang aking boses na tanong sa kaniya. "Why?"

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

My entire body slumped against his chest. I let my limp arms fall and cried into his chest. I could smell the freshwater on his skin and his fading minty scent.

"I'm sorry... I love you..." paulit-ulit niyang wika.

We were like that for a few minutes until we both calmed down. Napaupo ako sa lupa at niyakap ang sarili nang kumalas na si Harry sa akin. I started rocking back and forth, my mind clouded with all the things that have happened to me in the past few years.

"Mary Grace..." Harry wiped his tears and scooted closer to me. I couldn't look at his face without hurting so bad. It hurts so bad. His betrayal caused a hole in my chest I could not ignore. "Please tell me. What am I supposed to do? I'll do anything for you, baby..."

Hindi ako sumagot. Patuloy lang sa pagtakas ang mga luha ko.

"If you want me to surrender myself to the police, I'll do it. Wala akong pakialam kung habambuhay akong makulong mapatawad mo lang ako..."

I finally lifted my gaze at him. He looked so lost and distraught. Like a little homeless boy in the street who have no idea what to do with his life.

"I couldn't bear losing you..." he croaked again. "That's why I did it. Hindi ako pinapatulog ng konsensiya ko gabi-gabi knowing that I stole the life of someone. But I couldn't stand seeing you tremble in fear while Thomas is still alive. I should do something to make you feel safe." He reached for my hands and gently squeezed it. This time, hindi ko na ito inilayo sa kaniya. He gave me a sad smile. "I promise to always protect you, right? I promised Annie, too. The moment I discovered her journal, I promised on her grave that I'm going to protect you for the rest of my life,"

Napahagulhol ulit ako sa kaniyang sinabi. "Why are you like this..." I said between my sobs. "You shouldn't be like this..."

"Because I love you so much." He said tenderly. "Hindi magbabago iyon, Mary Grace. Sobrang mahal na mahal kita at gagawin ko ang lahat para sa iyo. I couldn't lose you. I'd rather spend the rest of my life behind the bars in jail than seeing you hurt and angry because of me..."

Hindi uli ako sumagot. Harry gently lift me from the ground and carried me. Hindi na ako nagpumigalas pa. I am so drain emotionally and physically. All I wanted to do right now is close my eyes.

Walang imik si Harry habang naglalakad kami pabalik. Nadinig ko na lamang ang tawanan ng mga bata sa lake. Ipinasok niya ako ulit sa tent at hinaplos ang aking buhok.

He lay next to me and pulled me closer. Harry planted a kiss on my forehead. Tumakas na naman ang mga luha ko. What will happen if he'll surrender himself to the police? I'll never be able to experience this again. I will miss every part of him. I wouldn't know where to start without him.

"Just give me one last night with you and we're going to the police station first thing in the morning tomorrow." He murmured against my lips. "Please... just this night."

Because of exhaustion, I didn't manage to croak a reply. All I know in that moment was the security only Harry could offer. I fell asleep in a murderer's arms with a heavy heart.

"Lola?" my nine-year old granddaughter prodded. I smiled kindly at her.

"Thank you," I said with a shaky voice.

She smiled at me and hugged my stomach. Biglang bumigat ang aking paghinga.

"Are you missing Lolo right now?" she said in a silent tone.

"Yeah..." nabasag ang aking boses. After that night, I realized I couldn't let go of Harry. Pinigilan ko siya papunta sa police station. I promised him I wouldn't tell anything to my parents or to anyone, that it will remain as our dark secret until the day that we die. It's the only way I can live with him in peace.

"What's Lolo like?" malambing niyang tanong sa akin. "Mommy said he's a really funny guy. Is that true?"

My eyes crinkled in delight. "Yes, yes he is." Isang mapait na ngiti ang sumilay sa aking labi habang inaalala ko ang buhay namin ni Harry nang magsimula kaming muli. "He would always bring Elissa with him wherever he goes because your mother is such a daddy's girl. Minsan nga ay inaabot pa sila ng gabi kapapamasyal sa dagat,"

"I wish to see Lolo..." sadness fell on her innocent face.

I stroked her face. "I wish to see him too, Jenora..."

Later that afternoon, I decided to take a walk at the property even if my back is killing me. Gusto man akong samahan ni Elissa ay binabantayan pa niya ang mga batang anak. Si Jenora naman ay tulog sa kaniyang kwarto. I told her I'll be fine and I'll be back before dinner.

Pinagmasdan ko ang daanan patungon sa highway. I've walked down this dirt path for the past couple of years. I continued working at the café while pregnant with my daughter and earned some money with the books I've published. Harry on the other hand is always away. He only settled down when I gave birth to our daughter and become a good father.

Biglang sumikip ang aking dibdib. I wanted to visit him today but I know it's impossible kapag walang makakasama sa akin. My daughter's husband is at work today, so there are no means of transportation.

Settling down on a rattan chair, I inhaled the fresh salt air. Rinig ko ang malakas na hampas ng alon kahit mula dito. I longed my youthful years where I could go to the beach anytime I want because right now, it's what I need the most.

I closed my eyes as a dull ache settled on my chest.

Why'd you have to leave so soon, Harry?

I watched everyone leave slowly. It started with my Dad, then my mother followed because of extreme heartache. In later years of my life, Dr. Siang's health deteriorated and he soon passed away. Grand Ida is gone too. Tanging si Nilo nalang ang natira pero alam kong maliit na din ang tiyansa na makausap ko siya nang matagal dahil sa kaniyang sakit sa bato.

My lips trembled. Even Mr. Sullivan is gone. I always feel like everyone else left. I am all alone now.

I closed my eyes and let the tears slip from my eyes. I am missing the people who made my life a lot easier when I'm walking down the spikes of my dark childhood. Every step hurts, but they all encouraged me at the other end of the line because they are all waiting for me. They're all waiting for me to cross the dark shadows and be with them.

Hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako habang nakaupo. Naramdaman ko nalang ang marahang pagyugyog sa akin ni Elissa. I cracked my eyes open and peered at her through my thinning eyelashes.

She smiled gently at me."Pasok na po kayo, Ma. Lumalamig na po..."

"Harry..." I said absentmindedly. "Is your father home yet?"

Natigilan si Elissa sa aking sinabi. Matagal niya akong tinitigan bago nanubig ang kaniyang mga mata.

"I'm waiting for your father, dear..."

"M-Ma..." her voice croaked. She cleared her throat and blinked back the tears that are forming on her eyes. "W-Wala na po si Papa. He's not coming home anymore,"

"Oh..." realization dawned at me. I chuckled lightly. "You're right. Forgive me. It seems like you constantly think of dead people when you're on your way there."

Sinimangutan kaagad niya ako. "Ma, huwag niyo ngang sabihin yan!" inakay niya ako papasok sa mansion. She gently led me to my room. Dahil hindi ko na kayang umakyat sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay, nasa unang palapag na lamang ako. It was a bit sad for me, because I can't see the ocean every morning anymore.

"Magpahinga muna kayo saglit, Ma. Aayusin ko lang ang pagkain natin,"

I nodded my head. When she left the room, I scanned the surroundings. Tumama ang tingin ko sa chest box na nasa tabi ng bintana. It started gathering dusts for years I haven't opened it.

Using the last of my strength, I pulled myself up and limped towards the window. Hindi ko na maalala kung anong itinago ko sa kahon na ito. Bumalik ako sa kama at pinagpagan ang alikabok bago ko ito binuksan.

Napangiti kaagad ako nang bumungad sa akin ang wedding picture naming dalawa ni Harry. It's a black-and-white photo that is starting to fade. Inilipat ko ito sa kasunod na litrato. It's our first family picture nang maipanganak ko si Elissa. The next pictures are of my friends and families before they all died.

Inilapag ko ang picture sa kama at tiningnan ang iba pang laman ng kahon. There was Elissa's Baptist dress along with other things that are so dear to me.

At the very bottom of the chest, the once white paper turned dark yellow. Pinulot ko ito at ibinuklat. Tinitigan ko ang malinis na pagkakasulat ni Ate Annie. Of all her entries, this is the one I couldn't forget. In just one page, it revealed all the secrets of my dark pasts and Harry's character in the sick fairytale we were all thrown in.

Harry,

I know you're going to be the one who'll find this diary. You know I keep one under my bed and you're the only one who knows about it. Now that you've reached this last entry, I wouldn't have any idea what you might be feeling right now. But I assume it is something unpleasant.

Harry. Please forgive me for using you. The three years that we've spent together is not fake nor phony. I didn't loved you romantically, but I've grown fond of your presence. And every time I look at your face, I think inside of my mind. "This is going to be the man who can protect my sweet little Mary Grace".

The reason I instructed you to go to the lake house and burn down all the pictures, the reason why I want you to know what happened between me, my sister, and Uncle Thomas, is that I want you to protect her.

Now, Harry. We're going to rewrite the Little Red Riding Hood. I am no fan of fairytales, but if this is the only way that my sister can find happiness in her life, then so be it. You are going to be the huntsman in the story. You are going to appear in the story and save her from being devoured of the big bad wolf again. You are going to be her savior.

I am going to end my life right now. When Mary Grace learns that I committed suicide using the pills I took from her room, she will learn the horrible idea of death and will thus prevent it. She will realize how ugly it is to kill yourself. People surrounding me will soon forget me. Mary Grace will never flirt with the idea of death anymore. That's why I'm doing this.

Fix her. Save her. She has the whole world before her. I don't want her to end her life or be miserable with the rest of her life just because of what happened. I want her to be genuinely happy with you by her side. Please love my sister. She is everything I have and I've been protecting her since. I've pleaded Uncle Thomas not to touch her again in exchange of being his sex toy. I hope my sacrifice will not go in vain.

And please, do not tell my parents about it. I love Mommy Athena so much, even if I have a funny way of showing it. She treated me like I'm her own daughter. She didn't hold a grudge against my mother, Veronica. I also loved my Dad. He tried being a good father to me. I don't want them to feel like they're horrible parents, because they are never. Please thank Tito Alistair for me. He tried to help me, but he couldn't do anything. The only way for this to end is to take my own life.

Please find my real father, Oliver, for me. Please tell him I am deeply sorry for running away from him every time he tried to talk to me. I could see the pain in his eyes and I don't want to see it again. I understand he has a son. I've never met my brother, but I also loved him the way I loved and adore my little Mary Grace.

So I guess this is it. We must put an end to this fairytale. You two must move forward. You two deserve a happy ending despite this cruel fairytale. I don't want to live this life anymore. I am sorry for leaving all of you but I've lost my will for a long time. I am just passing days and not living at all.

Harry, please save Mary Grace. I beg of you. Save her from the big bad wolf. I loved my sister so much. Save her. I don't want another little red riding hood again. My history of being one is enough.

Thank you, Harry.

Tumulong muli ang aking luha pagkatapos kong paulit-ulit na basahin ang kaniyang sulat. I took a deep breath. Dapat ay sunugin na ang papel na ito. Harry had brought this secret to his grave and so will I. No one should know about this. About what happened between us.

Dali-dali ko itong pinunasan nang biglang may kumatok sa aking kwarto.

I smiled widely when the door opened and Harry stepped inside the room.

"Hey," he said with a wide smile.

"Harry..." I said, a faint smile on my lips. His appearance didn't change at all. He still looked the Harry I fell in love and married years ago. There's an unusual glow to his face.

"What's taking you so long?" he asked gently. "Love, I'm waiting for you..."

"P-Pero paano si Elissa?" I asked worriedly. "I can't just leave our daughter alone."

"She'll be fine." He said with a gentle smile curving on his lips. I couldn't get enough of his handsome face. Ang tagal kong hinintay na makita siya ulit. "She's a grown girl now." He stretched out his hand.

Tinitigan ko ito nang ilang minuto. Kumalabog nang malakas ang aking puso. I closed my eyes and gently pulled myself from my bed. Hindi ko na mapigilan ang emosyon ko. I ran to Harry and hugged him tightly.

"I've missed you so much..." I said. The moment I touch him, my wrinkled skin started smoothening up. The gray hair is starting to fade and was replaced with dark vibrant green color. My entire body felt lighter as well.

"I've missed you too," he murmured. He gently untangled himself from my tight embrace and smiled lovingly at me. Harry leaned closer for a kiss that made the galaxies inside of me burst into pieces. He swept my off my feet and kissed me hungrily as if his life depended on it.

"Oh, God. I love you so much..." I said breathlessly when he pulled away. "I've waited for so long..."

"I'm here now..."

I glanced again at the body I left at the bed. The old Mary Grace has passed out on the bed. Seconds later, Elissa knocked softly and stepped inside the room. Nanlaki ang kaniyang mga mata nang makita ako. Kaagad siyang tumakbo sa kama at niyugyog ang walang buhay kong katawan.

"Mama? Mama!" tears sprung to her eyes. "Jenora! Frank!" she yelled. "Mama!" she tried shaking me harder. She even tried checking my pulse. "Mama!" tears slipped down her face. Bumagsak siya sa sahig at sinabunutan ang kaniyang buhok habang humahagulhol. "M-Mama..."

I looked at Harry. He smiled at me sadly. "She'll get over it. Our daughter is a strong woman," then he gently held my hand and we stepped out of the room when Elissa's husband came rushing in.

I giggled and looked at Harry again. "I can't believe you're really here..."

"I'm never going to leave you again." He pulled me closer. I closed my eyes.

My time has come. And in this new life that has been granted to me, I am going to spend the rest of the eternity with the only man I've loved.

I guess even dark fairytales still has their happily ever after at the end.

---

We are stronger than depression.

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