Ever Heard of Adoption?

HEY FUTURE ME!!!!
Don't forget to tag @Pika-Girl1 , @telylace , @LindseyHaddockPride , and @Neverstraightonlygay !
I'm saying this because future me is going to forget. It's a thing future me does.

What to Expect:
— ⚠️ Swearing ⚠️
— An unrealistically mean teacher who should never have gotten a job in the first place
— Irondad/Spiderson

Enjoy!

Also thanks @Pika-Girl1 for the idea!

— — —

Hickory Dickory Dock
The mouse ran up the clock
The schoolbell rang
Like the bitch it was
Hickory Dickory Dock

Peter made a mental note to grab his sound-blocking earbuds next chance he got. That bell was shrill as an opera singer, and with senses like his getting opera tickets was like signing your own death warrant.

Ned flashed him a look of sympathy from a few desks over. Ned, his friend since and for forever. His one glimmer of light in the deep abyss called school.

And who better to police the abyss than sharks. Sharks with sharp voices, their every word biting, like nails on a chalkboard.

The shark that currently stood at the front of the classroom was called Dr. Tassol. 'Tassol' being pronounced similar to 'Asshole', though the first student to mention that had their head bitten off at the neck and no one had dared to mention it since.

"Please turn to page 782 in your textbooks," Dr. Tassol said, saying each word in the creaky sound that could barely be called a voice, "Read until you get to page 789."

Peter pulled the textbook from his bookbag, hearing a few other kids grunt under the weight of their own copies. With his scrawny body, most students thought he would fall over even attempting to pick up the 2,078 page book. Almost everyone was surprised on the first day of that class when Peter managed to effortlessly life it onto his desk.

Peter flipped the pages until he got where he needed to be. He'd barely managed to finish reading by the time Dr. Tassol told them time was up.

Handing out a work sheet, Dr. Tassol told the students to pick a partner and get to work. "You have twenty minutes to answer the questions."

Peter and Ned obviously chose to work together, being each other's only friend in the class. They split the work up evenly, but Peter got his twenty five questions done within the first seven minutes.

"Hey Ned, do you want help with your half of the sheet?"

Ned glanced up from the work with a confused expression before looking at Peter's paper. "How the hell did you get done that quickly?"

Peter drummed his fingers on the desk, giving a small smile as he did so. "Dad taught me all this stuff. I'm really only in this class for the credits—haven't we gone over this before?"

"Well, yeah," Ned's jaw dropping while he spoke, "but still! How do you just- just know?! I haven't even gotten through three questions yet and you're finished! How?"

Peter chuckled. "It's just stuff Dad taught me. You know—"

"Peter." A hand settled on the teen's shoulder and he almost punched the person in the face(a reflex gained from his uncle's prank habits.) Thankfully, he didn't. Dr. Ass- Dr. Tassol—wouldn't have taken very nicely to that.

"Peter, aren't you an orphan? You shouldn't be lying to your friends about your family."

And Peter didn't take very nicely to that.

"Bitch, ever heard of adoption?"

Dr. Tassol flinched back, eyes widened before returning to a squint—or perhaps an even deeper squint. The kind of squint that said 'boi, you fucked up.'

Now Peter wished he had punched the teacher. Maybe then Dr. Tassol would be unconscious and he would be able to prepare for this rage.

"Peter Benjamin Parker!" Dr. Tassol screeched, "You have just earned yourself a trip to the Principal's office for swearing in school and for lying."

Peter opened his mouth to speak but the teacher interrupted him.

"If you really do have a family, then you'll be seeing them soon. They'll have to pick you up," Dr. Tassol stood up straighter, smug look in his eyes, "because I plan on suspension."

"So go on," the teacher continued, "call your family. Tell those stupid imaginary friends of yours that you're in trouble."

And that's when Peter snapped. No one called his family stupid.

Peter's chair nearly crashed into the wall as he stood up, his eyes filled with a burning passion to protect his family.

"You fucking son of a BITCH!" Peter shouted, "My family is REAL, and you know NOTHING about them. You have no basis to call them 'stupid' or 'imaginary'. So shut your whining trap about my family or I will pull out your teeth and shove them down your throat."

Dr. Tassol stumbled backwards, ducking his head. Then he leaned forward and stood up straighter, pulling a detention slip from his pocket because of course he just flat out carries them around. "Principal's office. Now."

Peter glared at the teacher. "Why am I being punished."

"For cussing out your teacher," Dr. Tassol's eyes narrowed, "and for lying."

Peter pulled his phone from his bag—holding eye contact the entire time—and hit some buttons. A ring started to echo through the now silent classroom before a voice picked up on the other end.

"Pete? Aren't you supposed to be in school? I swear if you passed out in some alleyway I'll-"

"My teacher said I'm suspended so I have to get my family to pick me up."

"What? Why?" Dr. Tassol squinted as the person on the other end of the call spoke. The voice sounded familiar, though he couldn't quite place it. [[this was such a horribly written sentence whyyyyy]]

"Well, I cussed him out," Peter said, and there was a confused grunt on the other end, "and he thinks I'm lying about having been adopted by you and Mom."

"Oh really?" The other person sounded smug now, and Dr. Tassol took a step back.

"In that case," the caller continued, "how about we do a video call? So I can prove that I'm not some figment of Pete's imagination."

Dr. Tassol sucked in a breath as Peter converted the call to video. Fuck. He knew that voice and the face on Peter's phone screen only confirmed his dreaded suspicions.

"Still think I don't exist?" Said Tony-fucking-Stark.

The detention slip was pulled from Peter's hand and shreds of pink paper could be found in the science classroom trashcan later that day.

— — —
(A/N)
Word Count: 1060
Written: January 12th, 2020

Holy shiz I did not mean to make the chapter that long but GOSH was it FUN!

Thank you @Pika-Girl1 for this wonderful idea! It was a request in @telylace 's book "Iron Dad and SpiderSon 3" which you all should check out because it's rEaLlY gOoD

Here's the original request btw:

I decided to post this the day I wrote it so I didn't forget to tag the people who wanted to be tagged (four people! Which is a big number for me! Thank you guys for reading!)

But don't worry, this is just an extra chapter and I'll still post a chapter this week and everything!

Soooo YEAH! Hope you guys enjoyed and that it lived up to your expectations @Pika-Girl1 !

Thank you all for reading! Don't forget to vote and COMMENT!

Have a nice day!

Extra note: I have six(6!!!) chapters saved up to post after this! 4 of them are crossovers with other shows/media(which is a thing I've gotten into lately lol) but the other two aren't! One is shipping, and the other's an AU similar to the one in 'Science Buddies'