Requested by @_gtfobea

______

Steve asked a lot of people what it was like meeting the one.

They said different things. They said how everything will feel right. They also said it was overwhelming, a mix of emotions and your mind will fumble to speak. Everything will fit it, and make sense. You were automatically wired to love the other person.

Steve also asked what it was like to lose them.

They always replied that it was the most horrible thing to ever happen. It will be like someone slowly pulling off a band aid, except every day of your life. It will hurt, emotionally and physically. Loss and depression will consume you, and how you see the world will become much darker.

That's why most of the people who lost their soulmates usually go sudicidal.

Steve was terrified, yet so ready.

He prepared himself for this day, the day where everything will feel right. The day where someone will accept him.

He couldn't forget the day where he met her.

Steve was on a hospital bed, recovering after a mission. Natasha was telling him about the mission success when the nurse came in.

They met eyes and it felt like his vision suddenly tunneled to her.

She was like a goddess when she walked in, her drab nurse clothing didn't do her beauty justice.

Her hair was in a plain braid, but her e/c eyes where like marbles of colors, entrancing.

And when she smiled, Steve swore his heart stops every time.

"H-Hi... Um." She glanced at her clipboard. "Steve Rogers."

Steve just smiled like a idiot, staring at her, thinking 'God's too good to me.'

"So, you're my soulmate?" She said, smiling. "Y/N L/N."

His heart skipped a beat. The heart monitor showing his heart.

"I think I love you." Steve blurted out.

"Let's take things slow, okay?" She nervously said, shuffling her feet.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make it awkward—I just—" Steve tried to recover.

"It's okay," she giggled. "Let's start over, my name is Y/N."

He shook her hand, feeling the tingles of excitement.

"Steve."

They smiled as Nat smirked in the corner, quietly slipping away.

_____

I was going to make Y/N die,
You're welcome.
Just kidding, if you want to be happy, skip this part.

______

Steve felt everything fade away and time going to slower to match his agonizing pain in his heart.

Everything was fine, they where going to have a stroll through the park, Y/N teasing him for saying stroll, calling him old, walking by a bank to the park.

Then, a shattering if glass was heard, hands shoving them aside, a knife holding on to Y/N as Steve tried to calm down the robber as he held Y/N by the bicep and a gun held by her head.

"Let me go! And this one might live!" The robber was obviously very nervous and scared.

Steve tried to calm the robber down, his heart pounding in his ears as he felt scared and terrified.

The a bang was heard, a body fell limp, foot steps running away, and blood pouring out.

Steve let out a yell, running to the dead love of his life.

A invisible strong between them was ripped apart, tearing his mind and body into shreds.

All he saw was red and then the dead robbers body.

Steve cradled Y/N in his arms as tears poured out.

This wasn't how she was supposed to die, this wasn't suppose to happen, they where supposed to have a long good life as they married and passed away with tons of grandkids.

Not leaving Steve behind.

Not her dying young.

Not any of this.

His mind felt blank and chaotic at the same time as his heart pounded, trying to take this all in. It all felt like a nightmare and unreal.

Part of him told him this was a dream, part of him told him that this is real, part of him wanted to kill himself.

And overwhelming feeling came to him, just like when he first met her, except that it was a feeling if sorrow, rage, sadness, and fear.

Fear of living without her, with out a large piece of him.

He was so ready to be her forever, but now, he wasn't. He was a empty shell, drowning himself in self pity and depression.

Steve wanted to commit suicide but the only thing tying him down was his status and job, even though nothing mattered to him, they needed him

As the hero, they needed him,

Even though he wasn't even there.

They still needed the savior,

Even thought he couldn't save the most important thing to him.

______

Sorry not sorry.