Requested by @joker_maid
Let me know if this is sad enough because I feel like it isn't.

_____

Dear Y/N,

I know that it's been a year. But you just somehow appeared in my mind.

I guess it's because right now I have no one. Pepper, my assistant, left. She left because she didn't feel like it was going to work out. It reminded me of what you said.

I know we were a one time thing. But I remembered how unfinished I felt when you dumped me. I always liked to see what the end of the relationship would end like but you stole that. I never got to see it.

I also remember how many nights I spent staring at my phone, wondering if I should text you or check up on you.

I bet you don't even remember me. That one guy you dated in collage that was cute and rich. You called me Anthony when we first met and surprised me.

JAVIS said to write down my thoughts because it helps. Or at least that's what Google told him. But I figured I'd do it anyway.

It's been lonely. But I survived. And I'm fine.

Sincerely,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N

Hey, I know it's been a while since I wrote but I've been busy.

You know Pepper? Well we are back on again. She changed her mind. I'm happy but I'm confused because she never really gave a reason why. Should I ask for a reason? Part of me doesn't really care, but I admit, I am curious.

Also, I've been thinking about getting away. Like to another country. It would help, or at least that's what JAVIS recommended. He said I needed a break.

I remember you saying that one time too. You laughed in my rickety red truck that I bought because I heard you saying to your friends that you always like Jacob's red truck.

That fucking nerd made me so mad, I wondered what he had that I didn't. The truck wasn't expensive, but it did bring down my reputation. I thought it was worth it when you smiled at me and agreed to go on the road trip even though we were friends.

You looked so cute, you know. I always thought you were the cutest person I've ever met. Every other girl I dated was hot. Pepper is a little harder to describe.

Anyway, do you remember when you grinned at me under the stars in the middle of the Arizona desert? I hated it, but when I saw your awestruck expression, I knew I had you.

Sincerely,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

Peppers gone.

I honestly don't really know how I feel. She's been really bothering me with her comments and pushing me to do better, it's honestly been suffocating me. I know it shows that she cares, but when I lashed out, I felt relived to get the things off my chest.

I don't really know if I want her back anymore. I just feel like I don't make her happy and she doesn't make me happy too.

Do you remember that one kid in the bar at the hotel we stayed, I think it was Paris? You hated him, I hated him and he ended up with a black eye. You hated me after that too. But after the fight, you admitted that I looked hot, jealous.

Ever since then, you knew how to get under my skin, sending shivers up my spine, my heart racing and make butterflies erupt from my chest.

To this day, I still don't know how you do it.

Love,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

I've been seeing this therapist. I told him about you. He told me when was the last time that I saw you. I couldn't tell him it was 10 years ago. That made me feel sad.

Where are you?

It doesn't really matter. I bet you're happy and you haven't even thought about me. You seemed like the type to find your soulmate young.

Geez, now I look back to the first letter, it was 2 years ago.

You know what, no ones every going to see this so I'm going to say it.

I miss you.

Honestly, I miss you. And it hurts that you are probably fine while I'm not. When you broke up with me, I remember vividly that 3 months later, you dated that fucking nerd Jacob.

I hated that dick. I wanted to beat him up and ship him to a island. Fucking asshole.

I knew he always had a thing for you.

Honestly, I dated around and waited for you to get jealous. But you never did. You were too in love with that fucker Jacob to even remember that I existed.

I know that I should move on but these resurfacing memories seemed to come back to haunt me.

Love,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

Remember the ring I gave you for your birthday? Well, I found some old Polaroid pictures that we took when we were drunk. Your eyes were crinkled and you looked so happy, I wonder if this is how you look now.

Sincerely,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

It's been a year. I've been better.

Things are looking up, and I'm happy now. Still alone, but happy.

I got a fish. I named him June. It's when things started to go right for me. It's my lucky month. I told you that right before I asked you to be my girlfriend, you smiled and told me it would inappropriate for you to reject me on my special month.

I grinned like a fool for that entire day.

Things are getting better. I hope you're happy, because I'm starting to be happy.

Love,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N

I had a mental breakdown.

And you know what I thought of?

You.

Why the fuck? I don't know. I honestly don't know. You just suddenly smiled in my brain and everything seemed to settle down around me. My heart started to pace around at a natural rate and my insides feel all fuzzy.

Is it possible that I'm still in love with you for 15 years now?

Yours,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

I saw you.

My heart stopped and my throat closed up. You were working in a cafe on the corner of a bakery shop and library. You still looked as gorgeous as you were in High School. Fuck you, honestly.

And when I ordered, you didn't recognize me.

My heart shattered. But I think I'll survive.

Yours,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

I saw your wedding ring. It was pretty cheap to be honest.

I could've done better.

Yours,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

I finally gathered the courage to talk to you. Like a actual conversation. God, I forgot how easy you were to talk to. And I forgot how cute you were. Fuck you.

You told me that it wasn't your wedding ring and it was from a past boyfriend.

Fuck that guy.

After the conversation, I promise that I'm going to talk to you every time I go in

Missing you,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

It's been two years since the cafe burned down with you dying in it. I remember the ring you wore that I thought was your engagement ring, and I found out it was the same ring I have you on your 18th birthday.

Missing you still, I remembered out last encounter. You hugged me, and you still smelled the same. I almost kissed you.

Almost.

I wished I did.

Love,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

I'm sorry I have wrote in so long.

I just remembered because I found your ring on your the gravestone. A squirrel was trying to take it so I had to take it first for safe keeping.

I never take it off.

Anyway, I hope your happy in heaven. I'll see you soon.

Love,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

I found a way to make people and personalities go into machines.

I made a couple versions of you, and it will only get better. I know it's sick but it helps me. When I see then, I seems so real. I swear, it's too good for me, and that's too bad because I feel like it's the only thing I need.

Love,
Tony

•♥︎•

Dear Y/N,

I burned them.

They're gone, I couldn't stand to look at them. It only now reminds me of how close you were before you slipped away.

I guess this is what love feels like. It's horrible. I hate everything. I want to forget everything.

Please forgive me, Y/N.

Love,
Tony

•♥︎•

Tony stared at the mind gem.

"I'll make you a trade, you make me forget about her, I set you free." Tony bargained.

Loki raised a eyebrow. "And why is that?

"Deal or no deal?" He snapped.

Loki looked at the billionaire with pity. But Tony glared back, coldly.

"Deal."