No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't take back the words and the scars that are on her today.

Not that it mattered, she was beautiful with or without it.

Sam felt like he was trapped in a maze with her above, taunting him and haunting him. It was a mirror maze, where ever he looked, it showed all his flaws.

He always felt second best. To Steve, To Bucky and basically the whole Avengers team. He wasn't good enough. He was always the second choice.

But when she came along, he was always he first. And she was his main priority. That's just how it was.

Leave it to him to blow out the hope.

Sam knew that she could do so much better. But it flattered him that she stuck around him.

But when his last words to her burned scars into her skin, it always comes back to slap him in the face.

"Sam—

"Leave it, Y/N." He snapped. "I should've already expected this, and to be honest, I actually expected this sooner. You never really liked me did you? I knew that this was too good. You always choose the best and just hung around me just to get close to him, be honest with me."

Hurt flashed across her face, but Sam wasn't about to take those harsh words back.

"Sam, I would never cheat on anyone. I would never stoop that low." She said, calmly. But Sam knew that she was about to break.

He laughed, humorlessly. "Oh but you did. You never think about me, just yourself and how you could get the most out of this relationship—

"Every suggestion and things I said to you were honest and I always think about you." Her voice was wobbly. "I always think over everything we do and always make sure you feel comfortable."

"Then explain to me why you were on top of Bucky." All his insecurities were coming out to play as he spat out the words without thinking. "With the whole team, mind you. Did they know about it too? Is that why they always chuckle behind my back?"

"He tripped and I was behind him." Her eyes were glassy. "We were going to get drinks for the rest of the team."

He snorted. "Sure. You can leave, I never really wanted to have anything to do with you or liked you that much anyway."

"You don't mean that." She blinked away her tears. But he could hear her shallow breaths.

"Yeah, I do."

Sam could never take that back because the next time he saw her was in a coffin. And every since then, he dreamed of her.

Whenever he flew up into the atmosphere, in the dream with his wings, he would imagine her staring at him. Just her floating there and looking him dead in the eye. She looked amazing as always.

And she would always say the same thing: "I never really wanted anything to do with you too anyway, but here we are."

And Sam would try to reach out and say his apologies.

But he would always wake up too late. Regrets always filled his mind along with different scenarios where they were okay.

It wasn't until his dreams crossed over to his reality, that he stopped being okay. But there wasn't really anything he could do. So he would endure.

For his sanity and for the citizens he still needed to save. He would endure.