Till the time I was pushed inside atleast a dozen of dresses and couldn't even differentiate for the life of me between burgundy red and wine red. I decided it would have been better if I would have stayed back with Kiyansh rather than standing in this house in front of designer after designer. But that's not true, you ran away from him because you weren't ready to hear what he was going to say.

" Shanvi look at this one. " Kiyansh's mom beams holding a ocean blue colour dress. " What you say it's gonna match your eyes? "

I boredly look at the dress and try to force what must be the hundread'th fake smile for today. " Sure. "

My mom looks at me, her lips falling in a straight line. I instantly turn the torture of smiling towards my mother but she just shakes her head at me. I know you are pretending. Tell me what is it.

I shake my head. I am just tired mom.

She looks at me pointingly and then smiles a brilliant smile at Kiyansh's mom. " Maya that's beautiful let me get her change into this. "

Kiyansh's mom winks and then passes the dress into my mom's hand as if it's hundred million dollars box. " Yaa let's see this one. " Then she turns towards me and unexpectedly says with a sad smile. " I know we are torturing you with this. But I just want you to feel happy today. To feel your best. It was my dream that one day you will officially come into the family, and Shanvi I am so so thankful that the day came. "

I give her a genuine smile and my heart feels heavy when dimples fall in her face just like Kiyansh. Though the words kind of stick in my throat I am genuinely happy that she is the one who is going to be my chosen family. Since childhood whenever I had an argument with mom, she was the one to pick me up from school. And I love her for that. " I am grateful, that you are my family. And yes I hate changing to dresses after dresses " I whisper the last words because we are surrounded by designers.

She laughs and hugs me tightly. " Now now you are making me jealous " my mom smiles from beside us. " Let's go and get done with this shit. " She says like a teenager harrumphing after a long day at school. And the designers look at her as if they are seeing her for the first time.

I smile at them. Yes, she is the owner of Sharma Cops. And she is on forbe's list for the most influential women in the world. And yes, she hates girly stuff.

My mom takes my arm and drags me to a back room just near the staircase. " Now tell me what's up and don't you dare to say that you are tired. " She says just as she closes the door behind her and passes me what is known as the killing mother i-won't-take-your-nonesense look.

I take a deep breath and realise for the first time in my life I can't tell mom about Kiyansh. Because first, it's embarrassing. Second, I can't see her being worried. No she can't.

" I am having periods " I say the first thing that comes to my mind. " I just just feel like biting someone and there are so many people and you know how ...."

" You don't like a lot of people. Yes baby girl I know, I am so sorry. Come here. " She says in her softest voice ever and wraps me around in a tight hug.

I instantly feel somewhat okay but the guilt of lying to my mom whom I don't ever lie to gnaws at my insides. But I can't risk telling her anything. She won't take the news good. And.... Kiyansh and I haven't talked about it really. Shut up. Just shut up Shanvi.

I change into what consists of all the dresses we could. While my brain was merely functioning with the confusion of last night. Till the end of dressing conondrum I decided I will first talk to Kiyansh about it then attend the party. Because I couldn't risk it. I couldn't pretend anymore.

Seems like my plan was a failure. Since it was already 8:45 and Kiyansh was nowhere to be seen. The big hall was immersed with bright lights and right at the moment it felt like they were poking in my eyes. His mom and dad were looking at me worriedly. I saw them calling again and again. When all my patience shattered like always, I called him up. The phone immediately went to voicemail and my irritation at him increased ten forth. I looked around and saw Parth, the bodyguard who was to my annoyance shadowing me since morning instead of me telling him I didn't need him.

My temper flared and I started to move towards him. Several people stopped me for a conversation on the way. And some delighted women who were Kiyansh's parents friends daughters even winked me asking where was Kiyansh. Then pompously laughed as if they had made the biggest joke by saying that maybe he got scared and ran away.

Till the time I reach Parth my stomach is filled with dread. Did he really ran away. Did I do something wrong? Did I get angry for no reason. Stop being self- depreciating Shanvi.

" Hii Parth. Umm did you talk to Kiyansh since morning. " I ask him beckoning towards a corner.

" Yes Mam, Sir gave me crisp instructions to not leave you anywhere. "

I roll my eyes. " Except that. When did you see him last. " It took a great embarrassment to ask but I asked, " Ummm....By any chance do you know where is he? What about his security? Can you contact them. "

His face remained impassive but I saw something pass in his eyes. " Sorry Mam."

And in that moment I knew. He was hiding something from me. " Wait for me. " I said to him and instantly made a beeline for Kiyansh's mom. " Hey!" I said to her and Kiyansh's dad. Both of whom were looking the perfect couple that they are. But their eyes turned soft the moment they landed at me.

" Hey kiddo" Kiyansh's dad stepped forward and gave me a hug. " You look beautiful. "

" Thanks, you look a cool gentleman yourself. " I winked at him.

He looked uncomfortable for a moment his eyes wide in worry. " Do you know kiddo where is Kiyansh. I am so sorry you have to be with the guests alone. "

" I might. Would you handle the guest for some time ? And when mom and dad and Nani ask please tell them I am with Kiyansh. " I asked biting my lip looking towards both of them.

" Is everything okay? " Kiyansh's mom looks as if she might faint.

" Yes. Yes. He's just....in some work emergency. I just have to remind him and drag him here. Just had a talk with Parth, he knows. " I lie hastily and regret the moment I say it.

Why are you lying like this? You never lie.

But the moment the worried look leaves her face. I take a deep breath and guilt diminishes.

" So Parth is going with you right? "

" Yes. "

She passes me a beautiful smile. " Thank God and one second drag him with his ears. He's just like his father. Work work."

" Done " I say and leave the party hoping and praying that I knew what I was doing.

**********
" Stop. Stop, just around the corner. " The car stops and I take a deep breath.

I sigh when I see the black Audi R8 parked around the corner, the guess was right. He did ran away. My sigh turn towards anger and I prepare myself to shout at him. I know parties are too much and stuff. Hell even I don't like parties but if he had to go to our escape place atleast he should have told me or his family about it.

I instantly open the car door. And get out without turning back to check if Parth was following me or not. My legs stumbles and Parth catches me from from falling gripping my arm. I curse at myself for agreeing to wear heels again. But my anger is a larger issue here. The doorman opens the bar door for me and passes me a recognisable smile. I smile at him too remembering the times whenever I or Kiyansh felt miserable and sneeked with fake id card in this secluded pub in the middle of woods. We loved it here because not a lot of people came here.

I step inside the white marble hallway and instantly move towards the place I know he would be there.

My feets instantly freeze the moment I see him sitting in our place. To my horror someone else is sitting at the exact place of mine. I would recognise that hair and face anywhere. The someone was Kiyansh's ex- girlfriend for two years and also the famous bollywood actress who threatened me that she will kill me if I dared to even get engaged to Kiyansh. Kiyansh's bodyguard turns and his eyes falls upon me. His whole stance freezes like Antarctic Ice and he starts to turn to walk and interrupt Kiyansh. I pass him one look. And he stops.

I stand where I stand, not trusting myself to even take a one step forward. I can clearly hear her laughing and then the next words which falls upon my ear makes me wish I couldn't hear them. For the first time in my life I wished I couldn't hear Kiyansh voice, the voice I would recognise anywhere in the world. But right now I wish I couldn't, " Think I married her because she is someone whom I can tolerate, someone who will keep my family from nagging me. Someone who is dumb then you are..."

As if in a nightmare, I flinch, and without my accord my phone falls from my hand. Like my heart falling like the dropped boulder from a high mountain and I am sure both of them are cracked. And the voice makes Kiyansh and Sahana both turn towards me at the same time.

Kiyansh's eyes widen as if he has seen a ghost. But I can't look at him. I instantly revert my eyes towards Sahana who is dressed in a beautiful pink tight dress which sticks to her body like vines. Her ears are adorned with diamond pearls which I remember like a sharp gut to my knife that Kiyansh gave to her on her birthday. Her catty eyes are shining and laughing when she sees me as if saying, I told you. She gives me the most ridiculous grin in the world ever. And my stomach turns and I suddenly feel the urge to vomit. I leave the phone where is it.

And as if in a daze I turn and run outside. I forget the sharp pain of my heels, of my legs stumbling on the asphalt, because the pain in my heart is too sharp for any pain in the world . I don't know how much I ran or where I was until I felt a hand on my arm. I turn towards the arm and raise my hand to push thinking it's Kiyansh. But then I see it's the bodyguard Parth. What did I expect? He wouldn't even come for you now would he?

" Mam please the area is not safe. " He says taking my arm and stopping me altogether.

I open my mouth to say something then burst out crying. My tears doesn't stop. I turn my face towards the other side of road. I hate this. I hate myself. I hate him. Why do I have to be so weak? Why?

" Mam..." He says almost softly for the first time since I have met him.

Then a thunderous voice. Voice like a sharp edge of an iron, the voice I wished I didn't recognise breaks in.
" Leave my wife's arm. "

I wipe my face from the back of my right hand and turn towards him. For the first time in my life, I hate his presence. I hate his presence with the depth of my gut. And I look at him. And let him see it. He stiffens instantly.

But I don't let myself be fooled this time. I square myself and wipe my tears again. " I AM NOT YOUR WIFE. " I enunciate each and every syllable clearly. And his steps falters. He looks like someone slapped him.

" Leave her arm. " Kiyansh turns to Parth ignoring as if I am standing here.

Parth stiffens beside me but doesn't looses up his hold. I see the fire erupting in the brown eyes I have known for so long but couldn't imagine to look at them the way I did before.

It's as if someone seared a knife through me. And I know the bleeding won't stop ever. I feel hollow from inside. It's as if someone has stuck the words, ' Dumb' 'tolerate' 'nagging' inside me and they have suddenly become a constant companion in my brain.

I take an uneven breath that makes me feel like my body will break any moment, like I am breathing burned sand and my throat is burning and I will fall facedown on the road. I see Kiyansh stepping towards me and I don't need to remind myself the words he said about me. As if on cue he sees them in my eyes and then he stops again.

I turn towards Parth and look up at him. For the first time in my life I imagine how my life could have been if I would have fallen for someone else. Certainly I wouldn't feel like I was dying.

I look at Kiyansh and Parth. And realise the last thing I want is Parth to lose his job because of me. " You should go. " I say to Parth. Wiping my eyes and giving him a reassuring nod.

" You heard her. " Kiyansh says.

" Shut up. " I spew towards him and he instantly stops atleast there is shame in his face but I won't be fooled anymore.

" You should go he is....." What husband? bestfriend? A liar? I can't bring myself to say any of them because I am not even sure if he was my bestfriend, it wrentches inside my gut as if I have eaten a bowl of moth.

Parth looks at me worriedly, then shakes his stiffly but leaves us alone.

For a long long time. None of us say anything.

" Please don't cry.....Please Shanvi let me explain..."

All the emotions, all the feelings. Everything has to go. Yes. Yes. Right at the moment I decide that I will not be the one to be fooled this time. He was right. You are fool. You are dumb.

" I am sorry you had to tolerate me for such long years. I am so thankful that you did. And I am so thankful that I was qualifying dumb enough for you. I just...I just promise I won't ever bother you again. You...you what do you want from me? " You will not give him the satisfaction. You will not give him the satisfaction. You will not cry. Not cry. Not cry. Not cry.

I repeat again and again. Like a dear mantra with which my life depended on it.

" What.....what do you mean. I...which...which part of the conversation you heard let me, let me explain. Please. Please. I beg you. " Kiyansh stutters. He doesn't stutter. He is just acting. He is just acting. He is just acting. He is just acting. He was acting. He was acting. He was acting.

" When did you become such a good actor. You should have told me, I guess it must have been because of your actress girlfriend. " He looks at me like he doesn't know me. Like I have slapped him. Good because I feel much more worse than that. Like a child who is hurt but doesn't know what to do. My heart aches. He is just acting. He is just acting. He is just acting. He is just acting. It's not real. Not real. Not real.

" Not real " I whisper out loud.

Hello Everyone. I hope you are doing good. It took me a long time to write this chapter.

This one and all of this is dedicated to all of us.

You are a champion.