I don't know how much time passes since I am rolling on the bed with comforter, the only thing I know is that sleep is miles away and I think I am going to die of over thinking, when the door to the room suddenly opens.

My breath hitches and I close my eyes tightly when it shuts after a moment.

I open my eyes and find my chest on a ramped up marathon. He is standing there under the soft lights coming through blinds, wearing that baby soft blue t-shirt that he wears with a boxer briefs holding a guitar in his hand which he keeps tilting on the wall.

He moves at the edge of the bed and without a word crouches down and lays beside me.

I stay still and do not turn in his direction.

"I couldn't sleep" he whispers after quite a long time.

My throat feels like it has been tied inside. And I feel like my heart would palpate out of my chest when his arms comes around my waist and he gently turns me towards him.

"Did I do something, all of a sudden what happened?"

The words waffle out of me without a second thought, "How many times did you bring her here besides the time she always accompanied me?"

He answers in less than a second, "It doesn't matter."

A peril smile forms on my lips. "See that's what I was talking about, I have become a replacement."

He stills, his arm tightens around me but he puts a little space between our faces, the soft light from the blinds falls on his face, and my eyes move to his, its fire brown, he is angry. His tone is brusque when he says, "I have told you several times, stop comparing yourself with her. You are not her."

My heart feels like it's been trampled on a giant elephant, it hurts in my throat when I speak, "That's what I am trying to tell you I am not her, I am not her Kiyansh."

He closes his eyes in frustration and the words crawl out of his mouth. "I don't want her, I want you."

I gather the utmost courage as I can, when I ask him, "Do you really want to marry me? Think about it?"

He eyes are still closed, and for a heartbreaking heartbeat I think he is not going to answer me, but then his brown gold eyes open, glinting in the night lights, the most beautiful eyes in the world. And it looks so serious, that I know whatever next words he is going to say, they are going to be the words that will leave scorching my heart.

I close my eyes, preparing for worst because I knowI am going to cry. His voice is gentle when he says, "I only want to marryyou. I need to marry you. You are my every.....you you are my best friend. Idon't think anybody else knows me better than you. And I don't want to forceyou, its okay you know, if you don't want to marry me." He takes a deep breathbut his words become agitated. "But letting yourself think that I am asking youas a replacement is so disrespectful to you, it's disrespectful for what weshare. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You are the kindest person Ihave ever known, half of your earnings goes to your trust. You think aboutothers before yourself. You light up a room whenever you walk in. Your eyes,it's like they make everything beautiful. Don't think about yourself likethat." His hand moves from my waist to my hair, scratching in that familiarsense and his voice turns to a gentle tone again, "You are not just any othergirl and I will not hold you back if you say no to me. I know I don't reallydeserve you. But you considering yourself as a replacement I won't ever let youdo that. And-I"

"Let's getmarried." It just comes out of me. I repeat it again to let him know that I meant it, hoping they were as sure as his eyes. 

His eyes widen and I think about the places I have gone without him, and how I still wrote. I think about the character Mia which we wrote together, how she lost this person for whom she wrote, and how she had to bury that same person with her own hands. And at that moment I know, I can't let go of the chance to live lifetime with him, to sleep beside him, to wake up to him, to see his face every day without finding excuses, to maybe go to uncle Sam's Barista as us. And I know it's going to be painful and scary and nerve wrecking, but what I am getting in it, is my best friend, my love, for always and forever. The person that cares about me sleeping and eating even miles apart. The person who makes me hold onto my every dream, or as the grave digger says, the person that stays inside you and never goes away.

I can hear his heartbeat from where I am lying, it's crazy like mine. That part of me who always wondered if ever he was going to look at me with those eyes as someone more than his best friend is sure, that this moment he is. Right this moment he is looking at me as if I have given him the most precious jewel of his life and he is too shocked to speak, the thought makes me so happy that my fingers move to his Adam's apple and he gulps. The thought that I have made these wide, innocent, most beautiful eyes in the world widen, makes my heart leap with joy.

And then he does the cutest thing in the world, he stutters, "You don't have to say yes because of me, you got me wrong, I was not saying those things for you to say yes," His eyes widen when he is flustered, and I want to pin that image of his face, he shakes his head and continues, "Obviously I want you to say yes, but it should be your yes, I mean the one where you want to say yes." His whole face turns pink and his brows join together, it's like he is trying to solve an algebra problem, which if we are mentioning, he was very good at.

I laugh, "I want to marry you, Mr. Wide eyes"

"Mr. Wide eyes huh? let's see how the title will look on you Mrs. Wide eyes." he grins and the world meanders it's way to my stomach, making butterflies jolt in my stomach.

I am still laughing when his arm comes under my waist and before I realise what's happening, I am up in air, by his arms and legs holding me up.

"Hey!" I shriek, the life of laugh spurting out of him and I sure am the wide eyed, "Put me down." I flap my hands like a duck.

He shakes his head and then still laughing lets me down so that I am lying on top of him.

I feel the jolt of our bodies connecting together and the air changes instantly. I feel something hard pressing on my stomach and force myself to not shiver.

My hands are lying awkwardly on both sides, his are sprawled on bed, he breathes, the press of his chest against mine raves goose bumps on my skin, I feel the rub of his leg hair around mine, the poking on my stomach gets so hard that my heart starts beating inside my ears.

Suddenly there's bark outside the door, I awkwardly start to try to get off Kiyansh, resulting in rubbing my body against him. I hear the hiss of his breath and feel him still, my whole body flares up in heat and I almost fall from the bed trying to get off him. His hand reaches my waist and he very carefully picks me up and swiftly puts me beside him.

We both breath for a second and then almost at the same time we start laughing, "God we are crazy" I laugh and start to get up, my head feels so dizzy that I fall back on the bed.

Kiyansh laughs and says, "Let me." He gets up from the bed after only one failed attempt where I tickle him, and then he half jogs to open the door to Denver pushing through the door and jumping on the bed to lick my face.

"Hey buddy when did you get up?" I ask rubbing his temple. Denver grunts and licks my face in answer. A flash makes me look up at Kiyansh who snaps his fingers two times and the room fills with soft light, he is smiling at the phone in his hand.

"You are on a roll today, aren't you?" I ask sitting up.

"You said yes at 1:45."

"What?" I smile. "You noticed the time."

"Of course 20 April 1:45 A.M. you said Yes, I will remember it my whole life."

"You are not good at remembering dates and time."

He sits up on the bed. "Hey! I never forget the important ones. And this one... is not important, it's everything."

"Why are you being so sweet, I can't digest it," I enact as if I am puking but from inside the contents of my food are jumbling because of nervousness.

He gives me a lopsided smile. And my heart tugs. "My parents are going to go rockers, mom is definitely going to scream."

I think about my mother and all the nervousness bulges inside me, I am sure the worry shows on my face because he says, "Don't worry I will handle it."

I look at the guitar on the floor and point at it, "Why did you bring the guitar?"

A hint of pink shines on his ears, he bites his lips, "I thought you were angry with me, and when we were kids you always talked to me after I played a song for you."

I pull Denver to my lap and smile, "Play me a song."

He looks at me, his eyes as if sneaking a glance inside my soul.

And then he picks the guitar from the floor and sits on the edge of bed, he tunes the guitar, then a moment later starts to play it, the music that comes through makes colours blush on my face, my heart stutters even though I know he is playing the song only because we both like it, but heart is heart, it goes bollocks when his rich warm honeyed voice sings,

You fill up my senses like a night in a forest.

Like a mountain in springtime.

Like a walk in the rain.

Like a storm in a desert.

Like sleepy blue ocean.

You fill up my senses, come fill me again.