Ashraf kaka opened the door of the Chrysler, as Sahana gave me a look and got out of the car. I opened the side of my door myself and got out before Ashraf Kaka could cross the asphalt and open it for me. I hated it when he did that.

He had been working in our family since before I was even born. I didn't like it one bit when he tried to be formal with me. The only reason he drove me around was because he knew I wasn't good at driving. He refused to let me be driven by someone else when I was in Delhi.

He shook his head with a small smile, when he saw me walking towards him. I smiled back at him instead of the knot that my stomach was. I couldn't help but think of the texts that I sent to Kiyansh on the way, explaining that I didn't know that he hadn't proposed to Sahana yet, that I had blurted out about the announcement. I had said sorry countless of times, but I didn't think it worked. He hadn't replied to a single one.

"I am seeing you inside aren't I?" I asked Ashraf Kaka as he closed the door beside Sahana. He always tried to make himself invisible by hiding himself in the parking lot, even when my and Kiyansh's family insisted him to come in every single one of them.

"I just have to-"

"No excuses," I cut him off, "Kaka please it will be really helpful if you'd be there to save me from mom." I lied and it worked.

His mouth shut and his eyes became a little sad. Everybody who knew me, knew that my mom and I had a barely functional relationship. And to the measures it was, it was because of my dad, Kiyansh's mom, Ashraf Kaka and his wife. I felt a little guilty but not so much. In honesty I needed him inside to be with my family, as he was one. He didn't need to hide so much.

"Shanvi, can we go inside now?" Sahana asked impatiently, looking between Ashraf Kaka and me as if she couldn't understand why I was standing and talking to him.

I gave her a nod, and reached out to squeeze Ashraf Kaka's hand, "See you inside okay?" I said and turned to Sahana, who looked like she was ready to sprint towards the house.

And all I felt when I looked at her now was guilty, guilty and stupid. The phone inside my clutch still hadn't ping. Sahana looked like she barely restrained herself from scowling at me. I just hoped, because of my stupidity, she wouldn't consider me as her enemy. I didn't want the little amount of friendship Kiyansh and I had left between us to be destroyed. I wouldn't be able to take it, if he went even more far away from me.

We walked on the cobbled path silently, me and Sahana side by side. I could feel her fuming beside me. The clinquant lights hanging from the trees on both sides of the path made it possible for me to glance at her face, but it looked impassive and disconcerted. I guess it was easy for her as an actress to hide what she was really feeling. 

I held my breath and focused on the path ahead, the only sound of the click of heels and the soft rustle of the spring breeze that floated through the air swiftly, blooming with a fragrance of countless flowers, a kaleidoscope of buttercups and roses that I knew so well twinkling in the golden light. My eyes itched towards the Ash tree behind them, the shining graffiti chipped but sparkling on the bark of the tree, a little old but just as same as Kiyansh and I had drawn. My eyes fell on the rustling Juliet roses beside the tree, and I couldn't help but think, we planted these together from our own hands and now they are floundering and alone.

I still remember the way he had handed me a bunch of Juliet roses before the Rodeo Gala in high school. "These are for you." He had said, giving me a slight smile and then when I had stared at him in question, he had ran off to his date Amaira, dancing with her all through the evening till the night, not even glancing at me once through the whole Gala.

I had thrown them into a metal bin at school, where it was just me and muffled sound coming from the closed auditorium doors, inside everybody else was dancing and enjoying with their girlfriends and boyfriends, and I was out there throwing and then picking up the bunch of flowers back again from the bin, despising myself.

I always knew unconsciously, that there was going to be a day, when I wasn't going to be his best friend, I just wasn't ready yet. Every single time, a woman became close to him, it ached like hell.

There was someone else already, who was much more important to him, than me. Then why did I love him so much? Why couldn't I just stop?

The answer was simple, I could bear to be with someone he loved but I didn't like, but I wouldn't be able to take, him not being in my life at all . I wouldn't be able to watch his life unfold from distance, like a stranger.

The ginormous modern French stucco bungalow of Kiyansh's parents was soft matt white under the lamp gold lights. Today it looked even more beautiful than usual because of the spring flowers swindling in the soft breeze in sides of the front porch doors and the giant sash windows, the moonstone fountain in front of the house was sprinkling cool misty water, a slight of its spray winking through the air and to my face as I walked toward it. I loved it, I loved this house. It felt like my own home.

My eyes moved to the rusty side barn that was just for me and Kiyansh near the far left of the bungalow. It contained an old black and white TV (since we both loved black and white movies), a chipped blue table, a brown old couch, fluffy cartoon pillows, candy bowls, old coca-cola glass bottles, Polaroid camera, picture hanging wires, plastic trays, and Halloween decorations.

It was sort of our home for the summer and winter vacations. I had run away from home and found myself here countless times, my own sanctum, but not anymore, I reminded myself.

I remember one winter vacation in tenth grade, when Kiyansh and I sat under a fleece blanket, and watched Raging Bull, 12 Angry Men, and Strangers on a train, back to back in a day. Kiyansh always joked about how I liked aggressive movies. The second best thing about the barn besides that it was ours to do whatever we wanted with it was that it had photos of us stuck in all the walls. Some with gross chewing gums, some with glue and haphazardly cut tapes. I had also managed to convince Kiyansh to use the fairy lights during the Christmas; it was the best thing we ever created together. We hadn't used the barn in two years, I wondered if he walked past his parent's house and noticed it anymore.

I cut right to the moonstone fountain and motioned Sahana towards the garden, where the soiree was going at its full scene. Sahana gave me a look. "We have to check for him at the party." I explained to her.

We crossed the cobblestones wordlessly and stepped onto tufts of grass where left and right; trees gleamed in turquoise colored hanging lights. The area cleared and opened to the sprawl of people and oak tables covered in silk turquoise clothes. Roses and bluebells soaking in beautiful cut decorative glasses perched on the middle of the table like diamonds. Two servers dressed in white crisp shirt and black tie came up to us and offered us drinks.

I politely declined while Sahana took a big glass of Chartreuse and gulped it in one swing. Keeping the worried expression off my face, I looked for Kiyansh in the throng of expensively dressed people. "Why don't you call him and ask him where he is?"

"What do you think?" Sahana said waspishly, picking up another glass of Champagne and waving the servers off. "I already did, several times."

I gave an apologetic look to the servers and nodded, "Thank you." I turned and whispered to Sahana, "Can you go low with the drinks? We have to find him before the chaos ascends."

In answer she glared at me, and took a swig of the champagne in another gulp and passed the empty glass to a passing server.

It was only fair, since I was the one who had opened the mayhem. I sighed as we entered among the throng of people. It didn't take a lot of time for people's head to turn our way and notice that the famous actress Sahana Bajaj was among them. It always happened that way, wherever we went. Whenever Sahana was around us, there were people asking for pictures and autographs as usual. The only reason she didn't bring bodyguards and came to the party with me was because at Kiyansh's parent's house, there were already several guards. Also because the soiree only comprised of high business associates, their families and high ranking government officials who sometimes asked for the party invitations themselves shamelessly. So, low risk of getting mobbed by a crowd.

But even then, I saw the way men's eyes snagged onto hers, and how the woman standing near them glared at their partners. It was normal for Sahana, but I hated crowds and attention. It made me feel nauseous and made me want to dash away from them and never come back. Especially properly decorated people immersed in their usual charades to impress each other. 

I anxiously searched for Kiyansh's face in the crowd, but my eyes met with familiar soft brown toned ones. I took a breath of relief as a small smile came upon my lips. Without thinking about it, I said to Sahana, "Just give me a sec," and made my way to Kiyansh's mom, who gave me a soft lopsided smile, and nodded at the man standing in front of her in a way, that told me she was bored of the conversation and was just being generous.

She wanted me to interrupt the conversation; we had a way of communicating.

Sahana, quickly averted her eyes from Kiyansh's mom and whispered frantically, "Come fast, I am gonna get a drink and find him."

I sighed and nodded to her, before continuing to walk away. She wasn't going to listen to me anyway.

"I am sorry for disturbing you guys, but I just couldn't stop myself" I said with a smile as soon as I reached Kiyansh's mom and the man in the black Armani suit, who was still speaking about some textiles being exported to China, but stopped as soon as he looked at me.

Kiyansh's mom turned to me and gave me a smile so bright that her face beamed like a woman in her twenties. Anyone could tell where Kiyansh had found his beautiful face with dimpled cheeks, full lips and chiselled jaw. Her arms came around me, and she squeezed me in a tight hug. I inhaled her simple vanilla perfume, and felt my anxiety from before fading away a bit. "It's been a long time," she sighed into my ears, and then stepped back with a squeeze of my arms.

I stepped back with a laugh, "I just met you last week."

"Exactly, a long time." she winked at me and said, "Oh sorry, I forgot to introduce you guys. Mr. Rathore, this is Shanvi Sharma," she said pointing to me, "Shanvi, this is Mr. Rathore."

I shook hands with Mr. Rathore, whose face suddenly beamed with a smile. "You are the daughter of Aisha Sharma right? I have been hoping to catch a conversation with your mother today, since she hardly comes by to any parties."

She hardly went anywhere except for business and her best friend's anything I thought, holding back a scoff. Seriously my mother took time out for anything related to Kiyansh's mom, or business. Otherwise else, no go zone.

Kiyansh and I had called them, Power puff girls when we were kids, but since I had grown up, I had come to loathe that nickname. Not because it didn't apply anymore, but because it reminded me of the fact that mom didn't have a space in her heart for a third power puff girl. It was just her, Kiyansh's mom and her Forbes Billionaire list. That was her third power puff girl, her business. I had stopped expecting a long time ago from my mom to pick my calls or attend my events. It was Kiyansh's mom who had attended sports events and awards functions for me at school. She had even flown for my graduation ceremony at London, but my mother? Nope, busy, business.

"Yes Mr. Rathore, I am." I smiled at Mr. Rathore whose dull black hair was already flecking with gray. I wondered how much for that stress my mother was responsible for, considering the fact he must have tried to contact my mother's assistant, Ms. Sandra Alvares countless times. Ms. Sandra was famous for being polite at first, but curt and lethal after ten seconds, perfect secretary for my mother. The line she used was monotonous, "Mrs. Sharma is busy with other clients. We will get back to you when possible." The line dead before the person could even utter another word. I know it because I had called mom's office once when I was in school and couldn't get her personal phone because it was off. Ms. Alvares had said the same thing to me in a dead tone and cut the phone before I could even tell her my name.

I gave Mr. Rathore a sympathetic smile. 

"If you would be so kind to excuse us Mr. Rathore, my husband has been quite pestering me to meet her." Kiyansh's mom said in a kind tone.

"Oh, sure. Pleasure to meet you both, thank you for inviting us." He nodded his head towards a woman standing in a red dress talking to another woman and gave us a parting smile before walking away.

Kiyansh's mom gave me a wide smile and took my right arm in hers, dragging me to a cornernear a table filled with coaster of glasses, filled with Pinot noir. "Too much hope for Mr. Rathore expecting from my mother, don't you think?" I couldn't help but say in a dry tone.

She looked at me sympathetically, her eyes doing that sorry thing that I hated the most. Don't get me wrong, I loved Kiyansh's mom, I just didn't like it when she defended her best friend. "Don't be so hard on your mother Shanvi. Your mother, she is-Complicated" she completed the sentence with a deep sigh and picked a glass up.

Yeah, complicated, that should definitely do.

"Anyways," I said changing the topic and coming to the topic that required immediate attention, hoping to keep the emotions out of my voice, "I need to find him."

Her soft brown eyes turned shrewd, and it narrowed down on me. I tried not to fidget under her knowing gaze, but then it just swiveled towards the person I was least expecting her to, Sahana. "Is it about her?" she asked straightforwardly, still looking towards Sahana.

I didn't know how she found her among the crowd of people, but when her eyes came back on me and she asked with a sad little smile, "What happened this time Shanvi?"

I couldn't help but squeeze her free hand. "Don't worry about it, I'll handle it."

"God knows only you can." She sighed.

I didn't have any idea if Kiyansh told her about the announcement or not, I guess not because she was asking me. So I went with, "Hey! It's not that big of deal."

"Okay I will believe you." she said, her brown eyes turning soft again. "By the way, you look beautiful."

"Kill me if I can't say the same about you!" I exclaimed. In a rocking silver body con dress, I was sure she was rocking even more than me.

She shook her head and gave a laugh.

"No seriously," I said laughing along with her and then I remembered Sahana was waiting and I had to find him and all the laugh went away. "Gotta go, I will find you later," I said hastily.

"Yeah sure, come down soon, he's upstairs in his childhood bedroom. Ronak is definitely sodding off a government official to come and meet you. If you don't want to be late, run," she joked.

I gave a half hearted laugh, squeezed her hand, and turned to look for where Sahana was standing earlier.

She was gone.

***

My feet were catatonic as I stepped inside the house away from the cacophony of people, my head full of things and my chest a constant ache. The giant chandelier that hung from the ceiling sparkled like a big blob of diamond, lighting the black velvet sofa and the white leather couch underneath it. My heels clicked on the hardwood of white and black chessboard floor as I sauntered across the enormous living room. I went up behind the sofa and pressed the elevator button, my heart thumping against my ears as I restlessly stared at the Japanese Roadshow antique vase.

My palms were sweating by the time I reached third floor. The ding of the elevator brought me out of daze, and I stepped into the hallway. My legs automatically moved across the hallway and I ended up in front of the childhood bedroom door, I could walk with my eyes closed.

I could hear high- pitched muffled voice of Sahana shouting, coming from the closed bedroom door. I closed my eyes and against every instinct to go inside, I decided it wasn't my place to intrude, not when she was shouting like that. I had barely taken a step back towards the elevator when the bedroom door was hinged open. A second later, a familiar terse voice, "Where are you going?"

I took a deep breath, latching my eyes shut for a moment; as I turned towards the voice, my heart pulsed like a mad bubble in my throat. His flaring gold eyes met mine and I gulped.

I could hear Sahana screaming about something, but as if it in distance.

We both kept staring at each other; a war without words.

He wordlessly stepped aside from the door, the insolent angle of his face daring me to walk away. His eyes drilled into mine, as he kept standing without turning back towards Sahana who seemed like she was going to explode.

I took a deep breath, and without thinking much about it, I walked into the room.  

I couldn't ever say no to him.