My breath shifts so fast I don't even have the time to hinge any argument. I couldn't, every time I was with him, the memories surged through me without full stop, it was an unfathomable wave. And at this moment, I needed it to stop.

But before I could, he was opening the door of my bedroom and switched on the lights. It was a nightmare. I forgot I had made a gazebo zoo of my bedroom. The duvets on the bedspread was splattered across the bed like someone was trying to make a snake out of it then left it in the middle, the headboard of the brass bed was covered up in sticky notes, two pillows were lying on the floor, the tweety pillow from the lounge was in the centre of the bed, a black lace bra covering it's head. The side table was piled up with a nutella jar, a big bottle of mama earth baby cream, stacks of loose papers, colour pens and my reading glasses.

Kiyansh cocks his head. He is a clean freak, he hated even a small wrinkle in his clothes. "Old habits die hard huh? Go change." He says motioning me towards my closet.

I am so embarrassed I almost run to the closet, closing the door with a bang, I look at the full length mirror on the floor. My face is red, my nose extra red. To my defence for the past week I was disturbed and busy in writing my script and trying not to think about him.

Yes, I could work with the script part.

I nod my head in the mirror. Only, I will miss the part of me thinking about him. I turn and start to peel off the jumpsuit. Picking out my blue satin shorts with a plain old white cotton t-shirt. I take extra time moisturizing my skin with baby oil, to hamper my embarrassment. I take a deep breath and finally head out of the closet in my mickey mouse flip flops.

My eyes move to the bed, my mouth opens in shock at the clean state of it, the bedspread perfectly spread on the bed. The two pillows were up from the floor onto the wingback chair near my side table. My bra folded and kept beside it, blood rushed to my face.

The Nutella jar was nowhere in sight. The coloured pens were stacked in my doodle pen stand along with my now neatly piled loose papers. It looked like a room and my breath hitched when it fell upon Kiyansh who was trying my reading glasses, he looked like David Beckham in glasses.

"I didn't know you still used them." His olive gold cheeks turn to that pit of dimple I would willingly fall into.

"Just to ... sometimes to read." I clear my throat, my neck sweating.

"Okay" He says and picks out the glasses from his eyes handing it back to me. "Your ideas seem to be good," he says, "I like that story inspired by that quote from Victor E. Frankl 'What is to give light must endure burning.' Going to make a short film from that?"

I gasp and look at the stack of notes on the bed table, "You did not read that. It's not even completed."

"Maybe you can send her to Portico of Glory where she meets the graveyard digger instead of Abbey of Montserrat you know as symbolism. And maybe from there they set out for their journey?"

I gasp again, "Why did not I think about it?"

A hint of smile sneaks on his face, "Because I had to."

"Remove your suit jacket." I say gleefully clapping my hands.

"What!?" His eyes widen, the colour of surprise making his face a little bit red.

"Just-ughhh" I took a step and started unbuttoning his suit jacket.

"What are you doing?" He startles and starts to step back.

"Oh shut up." I roll my eyes and swat his hand away holding him in a place, with a hand on his arm, it was amusing to know that it would only take only a second for him to shake me off if he wanted to, but the expression on his face said otherwise.

I unbutton his shirt, hands accidently moving to his hard bulging chest under the soft cotton shirt. His eyes become wide like dinner plates, in any other circumstance I would have run for my life but this made me laugh and I did not wait to fold the suit jacket back from his arms that I threw on the chair.

I hop on the bed and clap my hands like a foolish excited child. "Come on now."

He stands on the same spot, staring at me with those wide beautiful eyes.

I pat the bed beside me "Hop on" I say again and start to pick out the loose papers from the bedside table in which I had spattered the ideas. "You have to help me with this story. I know I am taking advantage of you. But remember that essay in eleventh grade? I was writing that for a month and couldn't write the ending of it and then you came home one evening and sorted it all out. Maybe it is like that. I have been writing this for a year, can't get ahead of middle. Please?" I say and look up at him to find him already moving towards the bed.

He gets on the bed and nearly falls on me.

I giggle. "It's a waterbed."

"You are a nutcase you know that right?" He is smiling.

God, why did he have to be so beautiful? I smirk and drag him to me to the middle of the bed by the cuff of his shirt. Okay! He willingly comes. "This is where I am stuck tell me what I can do here..." I say pointing to the bullet points on the paper.

****

It's two am when we finish the story. I am so happy and bleary eyed that I feel like I am intoxicated. My legs are sprawled out, papers upon papers piled on my lap. I yawn and turn to him, "You know, I think I need a spoon of Nutella." His hair is a little bit more mussed than before, my fingers itch to touch that silk of strands. His jaw was tilted to that concentration point. I jump slightly when he looks up at me from the papers.

"You need sleep." he says, then after a moment, "I should go."

"You should stay." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

His eyes turn sharp all of a sudden. He takes a minute before saying, "Are you sure?"

I blurb so fast that I want to stab myself with a pencil. "I...I mean it's 2 am and it's not safe. I am sure you must be tired since you wake up at 5, only 3 hours left you know, also dad texted me we have to go to the cricket match tomorrow. Before that we also have to go to my mother's house, not that you have to go there with me, you can bail out, also you can say no to staying here, I mean we can..."

"Shanvi." He stops me before I can make even more fool of myself, he's so quiet for a second that I hold my breath. "I will go with you to your dad's place tomorrow, also I want to stay here."

My heart starts beating inappropriately in my chest and all I could do was my whisper in a pathetic tone,"Oh okay."

It was awkward all of a sudden. "I will get you clothes then." I say in haste and start to move across the bed, and I am going to fall off the bed until he thankfully takes hold of my arm and makes me sit right back up.

"Clothes! Which clothes? I can't wear your clothes." He says with distaste on his face.

"Hey! My fashion choice is so good okay? And I have a unisex Bojack Horsemen shorts and your old Roses and Guns t-shirt, we could work with that."

I am laughing on the floor as Kiyansh scowls at me in those blue and red apple shorts and a t-shirt so tight, it was literally sticking to him like some big bouncer in a nightclub. He looked like he had dressed up for Halloween. "It was your idea." He says with a flush, "Do men even wear these things?" He asks tugging at his shorts like a cute kindergarten Kid. 

I laugh, "Of course they do, it's just they are not ready for bum size and um-" I clear my throat, and then end up laughing again. 

He curses and looks up at the ceiling, as if praying, and then he curses and just looks at the door as his escape plan. "I need a glass of water," he says, almost running to the door. 

I laugh but a traitorous voice inside my brain says, even when he looks ridiculous, he looks like a ridiculous male model ona billboard. 

Help, I think.

"Drink this." He says holding the bottle towards me.

I gulp, even before I open the water bottle, "Why are you wearing pants?" My voice was hoarse, as I cleared my throat.

"It was uncomfortable and nasty. I can sleep in this."

Suddenly the thought of him sleeping here is unnerving. There are two other rooms, but how can I ask him to sleep in other room when all the times we have stayed together we have slept in the same bed. I didn't want to be the one to make it awkward. And what I would say to him? You can't sleep with me because you make me feel things? I have slept in the same situation with him before. Of course I could handle one more. I pat the bed next to me and turn towards the bed side switch to hide my face and switch off the lights in the room. The rooms turn dark and I sit there for a second holding my breath. I feel the dip of bed, and the smell of pines and chocolate sneaks up to me. Our knees bump, and we both still, the way of waterbed forces us to sit side by side too close.

I can hear him breathing, I just hope he doesn't hear the thumping beat of my heart. I stretch my legs to find the comforter.

"Let me do it." He whispers and spreads the comforter over me.

"You can take it too." I say, with shaking hands I lay it over him too.

I lay down flat, straight and awkward. Very slowly he follows suit his hand bumping mine. The thought of my fingers lacing through his is so sudden that I haul my hands away to my stomach. He shifts beside me, his heat shifting to mine.

We lay wordlessly and awkwardly.

*****

"Kiyansh are you asleep?" I can't help but ask after ten minutes.

"No." His voice is so husky it travels down to my ankles.

"Kiyansh." I whisper again.

"Yes."

"Would you tell me the story of Hans, who made the princess smile?"

His hand moves to my hair, scratching on my scalp. "Yes."

*****

It was an hour and I was half asleep listening to Kiyansh's soft voice reciting Rudabeh now.

"Kiyansh." I hear myself speak in a dazed state, I felt like I was flowing in air. "Why were you here today?"

He stops midway, pure silence and night and him breathing beside me. I barely heard him say "I couldn't stay away." The last thing that came to my mind was, I wish I could snuggle with you like old times. And then I was asleep smiling into my pillow.