We are sitting upstairs inside my condo. Ramkrishna (his guard duty ends at 8:00 p.m.) and Ayan, both. I don't know what happened to me but I am spilling my guts to both of them. The long story of how it started, where it went, to how it came back, of course even though I missed some parts, it was story going on for years.

By the time I am finished, after drinking five glasses of water, taking two pee breaks, it's 9:18, I am hardly breathing, and Ayan's and Ramkrishna's eyes are so wide with apprehension that it somehow resembles the plethora of dinner plates my father owns.

"This is too much and I say this when I am an actor and have done less dramatic films than what you told us." Ayan says, his eyes wide but friendly.

Ramkrishna nods his head in agreement. "Yes madamji, it is too much." His eyes brighten suddenly, he half gets up in excitement from the gray Louisa chair. "Does it mean you are going to marry Kiyansh sir madamji?"

Ayan sighs from the chaise lounge, I notice for the first time since evening that he is wearing a white crew neck t-shirt and black chinos, and how soft and prepared he looks for the date he was thinking to go on with me, not the bad boy media called him out to be, not the person I thought I could never consider as a friend, and how I have dragged him into this horrible mess and how he deserved endless list of apologies from me.

I turn towards Ramkrishna, but Ayan beats me to it, "It doesn't work that way Ramkrishna, we will have to..."

But before Ayan could complete his sentence, a buzz from the door startle us out from the discussion.

Who could that be? I get up from the lounge, my eyes roll back in my head when I peek into the door hole to find Kiyansh standing on the other side of the door.

My breath stops and I think I might get another panic attack when Kiyansh buzzes the door once again.

Thankfully and horribly, Ayan gets up from the lounge and literally shakes me out of the daze. "Who is it?" I turn my head to find Ramkrishna looking suspiciously at the door as if we are some psychological convicts threatened to be raided by RAW. Honestly I feel like that, this moment.

"Kiyansh." I say through the stubborn blockage in my throat. What am I going to say to him? What is he going to think when he sees Ayan and Ramkrishna up in the condo? I am not ready for this.

My phone on the table starts to blast up with I've been everywhere, by Johnny Cash.

This time Kiyansh bangs on the door, "I can hear your phone ringing, open up the door Shanvi." His voice is somewhat distant, muffled, but it reaches straight to my stomach.

I hyperventilate so hard that I look with wide eyes towards Ayan and Ramkrishna, then open the door without any thought.

Kiyansh's face even though stuck inside my head twenty four hours still sends shock so hard in my body that I feel goose bumps raise on my arms and legs and every single corner and centre of my body.

His face holds the same expression of shock. But when I look at the angle of his eyes, I turn my head to find it fixated behind me, on Ayan with Ramkrishna nowhere on sight.

I see the change of expression from shock to hurt to impassive so fast, it's like a tide of wave on the shore of the sea.

His eyes turn to me again, like the clouds gurgling in the night sky it strikes so hard that I feel it to my chest like a lash, my mind goes back to the day when Kiyansh bought me a power ranger kit on my birthday the day I turned seven, how we got on our skateboards and played with fake power ranger's walkie-talkie phone all afternoon. I slipped and broke my leg that day, Kiyansh found me on the pavement and started crying when I was taken to hospital refusing to leave my side for days helping me walk through crunches, until my leg got well.

The expression on his face is so confused and wrenched, it's a bleeding punch to my gut when he says, "I told you to tell me." Then, it's like a wave of hurt and disdain on the angle of his jaw, turning his face into hard and steel, "Sorry to disturb you." He says, his voice so cold and distant, it would have been frightening if it weren't for his daunting expression earlier.

And just like that he nods stoically and in my still and stupefied dry aching throat, he starts walking down the hallway towards the elevator.

"KIYANSH" I yell so hard that my teeth clatters in my mouth, I hear a pair of footsteps running towards me from behind, it's Ramkrishna, maybe he realised that I can finally be attested with my craziness. But my head doesn't move, it's fixated to the point of Kiyansh's Clark's faltered mid step, to the point of his stiff unsure back in the navy blue Brioni, as if debating if he should turn around or not.

Turn around. Come back. Turn around, please.

It takes him 38 seconds to decide, and when he does turn, it feels like in slow motion. I think I can't breath.

His eyes meet mine, it's the same stoic brown and gold. But then it goes beside me and it turns to a bubbling brown. His eyes, sets up on me again, moving left and right, assessing, as if for the first time. His pupils dilate, and it happens so fast that the electricity in my brain totally blackout's.

I blink and Kiyansh is holding Ayan from the collar of his t-shirt, pushing him at the wall, with an advantage of height. I look at the tendons and muscles bulging in Ayan's arms and then at Kiyansh's muscles pressing on his Brioni. I am proud of both them for having such sexy and strong body, but at the moment I can't think of a reason for them being in this position.

Ramkrishna seems to share my opinion because he is standing with his both palms up as if considering between refereeing and stopping them.

"What did you do?" Kiyansh grits his teeth and pushes Ayan on the wall with venom in his eyes.

"What did I do?" Ayan snickers his tone saying something else, his wary eyes something else.

"What are you both doing? Stop it." I hiss.

"Yeah, a good suggestion, listen to your friend Kiyansh, this body is too priceless to be handled at walls with such force."

Kiyansh grunts and scowls, "I am going to break your priceless nose if in next ten seconds you won't answer me, what did you do to make her cry?"

My throat drops to my heart, my heart wobbles to my stomach.

Ayan closes his mouth and warily looks towards me, as if debating to speak or not.

I can't let him get punched because of me. He have had enough drama of my life. I can't let him get physically hurt too.

"Kiyansh leave him," I say in a placating tone. I gulp a pool of saliva fusing inside my mouth because of nerves. "I...I was having an anxiety attack and he just helped me."

Kiyansh leaves Ayan's collar as if he was touching a grating hot fire and turns towards me with wide eyes and in that moment he is that seven years old Kiyansh again who didn't leave my hospital bed until he was forced by the doctors. His eyes move up and down my body as if to make sure I am not physically hurt.

In an instant he takes two steps and he is impossibly close to me, his hands are on my cheek. It's so warm and soft and hesitant, it twists my heart right up in my chest and I involuntary close my eyes. "I am so sorry I didn't notice before." He rasps, his voice gentle. "Are you okay right now?" His breathe touches my face, it smells of mint. His whole smell of pines and chocolate and mint and something him is so refreshing and akin, I want to be wrapped around his arms and forget about all the problems in the world.

Suddenly, his arms are around me, gentle but firm and he is half dragging me across the hallway, I open my eyes in surprise to find him pinching in the door code with percussive fingers. To my shock he cocks his head towards Ayan and Ramkrishna and motions them to enter the room. He takes me to the hideous yellow chaise lounge, bending on his knees and making me sit on it. Once he has settled me on the lounge he stands and his eyes moves to the Disneyland glass above the coaster, I debate inside my head to hide myself in under the lounge.

He carefully picks up the glass of water and handles me with extra care, his fingers brushing mine. He bends down on his knees again, his hand catches my jaw gently, turning it right and left as if checking for some injury. "Are you okay right now?" he asks again. His calloused fingers spill on my cheeks, his thumb grazing my skin in smooth little waves.

I manage to nod my head and not lean into him even more than I am leaning right now. His other hand touches my hair, his fingers dig into my hair and does that scalp scratch thing he always did when we were a child and I was scared. Someone clears their throat and I fly open my eyes, realising that I had closed them unconsciously again, and find Ayan and Ramkrishna inside the condo, standing by the mantle wall, their faces uncomfortable staring at us.

I try not to blush and push back on the chaise lounge, my back pressing on the comfortable fabric.

Kiyansh stands and juts his chin out unapologetically towards Ayan, he bites the inside of his mouth and says as if it's taking effort for him, "Thank you for taking care of her, I owe you."

Ayan scoffs, his black eyes turning into arrogant defiance, not that I can blame him, I would be the same if I were in his place. "She is my friend you know, you don't owe me anything."

Kiyansh's expression turns so hard, it's like he is turning to a stone statue. "Friend." He says with so much distaste, it's like he tasted pee.

I gulp down the glass of water and look apologetically towards Ayan. "Sorry he behaves like a snob, thankfully he isn't like that all the time."

Ramkrishna chokes, then, clears his throat, finding the floor suddenly interesting.

Kiyansh sighs, he turns and shakes his head at me, though I see the hidden twinge of his lips at the corner. "Thank you Ramkrishna." He nods his head at Ramkrishna, his voice not so stern anymore.

"No sir, it's my honour." Ramkrishna fumbles straight and looks at Kiyansh with worship in his eyes. He is honestly gleaming at us, then, he turns towards me looking concerned. "Madamji I will ask Srishti to make you herbal tea tomorrow morning, it's really good for health, it helps to calm me down a lot."

"Thank you Ramkrishna, I would love that." I smile at him.

"I should get going madamji. Take care." He says nodding towards us then turning towards Ayan offering his hands for a handshake. "It was very nice meeting you sir."

Ayan smiles, his curly head bouncing at Ramkrishna, "Same buddy. Let's meet up some other day."

The smile on Ramkrishna's face is so buoyant; my chest lightens up a thousand pounds, "Th...Thank you sir. Um... would you...would you mind giving me an autograph for my wife, she really likes you."

"Of course, hand me a pen and paper."

Ramkrishna confounded, takes out a pen and a small diary from his front pocket of the guard uniform, handling it to Ayan.

"What is your wife's name?" Ayan asks kindly.

"Srishti."

"Srishti" Ayan says writing something on the diary, then signing an autograph below, he handles it to Ramkrishna smiling.

Ramkrishna beams at Ayan, "Thank you sir." He then nods at us "Thank you sir, madamji. I will get going then."

I nod back smiling thankfully at him, "See you Ramkrishna."

Ayan clears his throat, and gets awkwardly away from the mantle, "Me too."

I feel the guilt so hard, I know I have messed up pretty bad. "Would you like to have dinner, we can order some food."

I would love to be your friend, please don't say you don't want to be my friend.

He looks at Kiyansh and gives a considering look. Then, he looks down towards me and smiles barely, "Some other day."

I have messed up.

He looks at my hesitant face and shakes his head as if heard my thoughts and says, "I promise." and then winks, "as long as I am getting your Uncle's Sam coffee back."

Kiyansh stills in front of me, I pass him a look and twist my face into a smile, "Done." I say to Ayan.

"Then I will get going." Ayan comes forward smiling his amusing bad boy smile.

I get up from the lounge, keep the glass on the coffee table and move towards him.

He offers his hand up to me. "Bye Senorita. Take care of yourself okay? You can call me anytime if you need me."

I shake his hand in a tight squeeze, "Bye food monster."

Ayan looks amusingly at Kiyansh and nods up at him, who is standing rock still, throwing ice from his eyes as if he is planning to freeze him up in a spot.

Ayan sighs and puts his hands in the pockets of his black chinos hemotions his head to Ramkrishna and they both walk towards the door, I am alittle bit relieved when Ayan turns and smiles at me before moving out thedoor.