"Are you okay?"

Devlin snapped out of the fog that had clouded his brain and looked up at Pamela. She was watching him with concern.

Was he okay? He sure as hell wasn't but he nodded. He was in another world entirely. It was neither painful nor pain free. It was just... numb, in a painful way.

It was Vivian's funeral and he hadn't in a million years thought he would feel the sadness that he was feeling. He had hated this woman for fuck's sakes. He'd wanted to kill her himself. Why was he then feeling this way?

"Are you sure you don't want to read the note?" She asked.

He shook his head, then Pamela placed a soothing hand on his leg, caressing him and he placed his hand on hers and squeezed it.

"Dev, I think reading the note will help you heal. If she cursed or blessed you or wished you'd never been born, it will help you find closure."

"No, babe, I just -- I don't think I can bring myself to."

She nodded in understanding and they turned to watch Timothy read a speech about his mother. He was weeping unabashedly as he read. It was heart rending to watch.

Lilian hadn't come to the funeral but Devlin had listened as she wept over the phone when he'd broken the news to her. He understood how she felt. To a tee. She might have hated her mother but her death was another thing entirely.

Timothy had met with Devlin's return with a mixture of relief and wariness and had had tons of questions, but as they were both in mourning, they had been nothing but civil to each other and Devlin had done his best to be the most supportive big brother he could be.

The funeral came and went. Well wishers flocked in by the number. They were all shocked that the strong, healthy Vivian Campbell could take her own life. They shook their head in sorrow and bemoaned the tragic end to the always-smiling philanthropist whom thousands had envied and emulated in the same breath. They all promised to check on one another because no one knows who was going through something. It was sad that it took a person's death to create the awareness.

In the evening, after the condolence callers had all left, Pamela and Fiona were helping the maids clean out while Devlin was in his father's study. A drink in hand, he looked up at the huge picture of his dad and young, smiling, vibrant Vivian hung up on one side of the wall. Despite the fact that Vivian had remarried, she'd left the picture where it was. That said a lot.

He turned when he heard approaching footsteps. It was Timothy. Devlin used the opportunity to take in how much his little brother had grown. Timothy had had a very small stature as a kid and had been bullied a lot. Devlin remembered coming to his rescue all the time.

Once, Timothy had come back home in tears. He said a kid had called him a "summarized human being" and had stuck his head into a trash bin. The kid was a notorious bully known as Big Sam and Devlin had been looking for ways to teach him a lesson.

When all was said and done, Devlin had left Big Sam with a broken nose and one black eye. Devlin had been suspended for two weeks but he'd been more than satisfied because the kid never bothered Timothy after that. He wondered how Timothy survived after he left.

The Timothy making his way towards him was a far cry from the rail-thin, scared boy from years ago. Timothy was tall; about Devlin's height, he had strong, firm muscles and he was very handsome. Devlin was proud of him. Timothy stood beside him and they both looked up at the picture.

"I miss him." Devlin said quietly.

Timothy chuckled. "I don't even remember him."

"Me neither. I was about four when he died."

It fell silent between them. Then Timothy said, "I had no idea Mom was going through all that. I thought Bart loved her. I -- I failed her." His voice broke, then tears started rolling down his eyes.

Devlin touched his shoulder. "We all did. The only thing you can do to make things right is to reduce the amount of Bartholomew's in this world by giving your woman the best life possible. With lots of love and devotion. Do it for Mom."

He nodded and wiped his eyes. "Thank you Leo." He paused, then, as if like an after thought, he added a quiet, "I missed you."

Devlin enveloped him in a hug. When they pulled apart, Timothy said, "I'll be going back to Moscow with my fiancée. We'll get married there. But not now. In a year or so. We have both decided to take things slow."

Devlin nodded. "When you are ready, send me an invite. If you would have me, that is."

"l would love to have my brother with me on my wedding day."

The both smiled and slapped each other on the back.

"One more thing," Timothy said. He reached into his breast pocket and handed Devlin a note. "You should read it."

Devlin took it reluctantly and stared at it, minutes after Timothy had left. After fighting and loosing the battle with the will power not to read it, he opened Vivian's suicide note.

"Life, they say, is a party. When you get tired, you leave. I don't know if anyone will be sorry to see me go, but I know I am. I failed you, Lily. I'm sorry. I hope you can heal from the scars and life is easy on you. I was too bossy, Tim. Forgive me. I hope you find your path in life and you look back and is proud of it. I don't deserve to be called your mother, Leonid. But you did. I don't think I could ever face you knowing how inexcusable my actions have been. I hope you forgive me. Might not be now, but someday. Someday, I hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel. Someday, I hope you find the strength to let go of all the darkness I brought into your life.

This is of no use now but I need to let you know the truth. I met Bart as a kind, gentle man who was willing to do anything and everything to set me free from the emotional abuse your dad was putting me through because of his affair with Fiona. Because he was willing to help, I sent Bartholomew to give your father a scare to stop having an affair with Fiona. I was driven by jealousy. He was running from Bartholomew when he ran into a trailer. I killed him, Leo. I killed your father. No one can forgive that. I do not deserve to be forgiven. I do not deserve your love. Therefore, I have made it easy for us all. Till we meet again.

Vivian."

Devlin could hardly see the parting words because his eyes were over flowing with tears, accompanied by loud, racking sobs that shook his whole body.

~

Pamela stood at the entrance of the study and watched as Devlin sobbed. She'd been down cleaning with Fiona and the maids but something had bothered her and so she'd decided to come check up on Devlin.

Before she could move upstairs, Timothy came out and said his goodbyes to them. He'd looked fairly normal but Pamela could see the slight redness in his eyes which indicated that he'd been crying.

That fueled her resolve to go check on her man. He might need emotional support. Without wasting any more time, she'd removed the gloves she'd been wearing and made her way to the study. But as she stood there now, watching him weep, it wrenched at her heart. Without meaning to, tears filled her eyes.

She struggled with the decision of either going in to comfort him or giving him space to cry. Sometimes, it was necessary to mourn alone. She stood there, indecisive for a full minute and when she saw his tears weren't letting up, she pushed her way in, hoping he wouldn't feel embarrassed to be caught crying.

The moment she entered, he looked up at her and stretched out his arms to her. She walked briskly over to him and circled him in an embrace. He was sitting while she was standing so his head was just beneath her breasts. She stroked his hair and whispered soothing words to him and rocked gently from side to side.

When he was calm, Pamela sat and listened to him talk about the contents of the note. She didn't interrupt him but listened as he calmly spoke his heart out and when it seemed he couldn't go on, she hugged him. He had a lot of regrets and wished he'd done a lot of things differently.

"Let's go home." He said when he was done.

"What?"

"Let's go back to the States. Tonight."

"First of all that's impossible. We haven't booked a flight and all that. Besides, you need to stay for a while, you need the closure."

There was a knock on the door and Fiona entered. The concern on her face was evident when she took in Devlin's puffy face. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "I am now."

One look at the note still on Devlin's hands and she walked up to him and hugged him, then looked at his face again. "You must have a headache."

Devlin took her hands. "No, I'm fine. Mom, I want to go back soon. I can't stay here. I feel chocked."

Fiona pulled back and sat. "Leo, don't take this the wrong way but I can't leave."

Devlin nodded. "I figured. Why though? I want you with me."

"Me too but this place is my home. I love you but I really cannot leave. Someone needs to stay to tend to this house and oversee the affairs of the company. I know that can be easily arranged but I feel I am the best person for this."

"Why didn't you say so before?"

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

He sighed and nodded. "I understand."

"Besides," She looked down at her hands. "I'm seeing someone."

Pamela gasped and held her hands. "That's so amazing, Fiona! Finally some good news. I'm so happy for you."

"I'm not."

"Don't ruin this, Devlin."

"Who is he? What does he do? Is he a respectable gentleman? I want to meet him. You cannot have a boyfriend unless I approve of him."

"Devlin! My God." Pamela scolded, then laughed.

"I'm serious."

"He is, Son. And above all, I think I might be falling in love with him. He reminds me a lot of your dad."

"No one can replace my dad."

"Well, thanks a lot, you certainly have made this easier for her." Pamela muttered.

"What I mean is --"

"I understand what you mean." Fiona said. "And I know you're concerned about me --"

"More like jealous." Pamela interjected, earning a look from Devlin.

"But I'm serious about him. Help me out, Pamela."

"Devlin, you found love. Let her find love too."

"I know, I just -- well, I want to meet him. Who is he? Do I even know him?"

Fiona nodded shyly. "David."

"David? What David? The one who killed Goliath?"

"Very funny." Pamela said dryly. "You mean Dr. David?" She asked Fiona and she nodded.

"That ugly man?"

"Devlin!"

"Ugly to you, Leo, but heaven to me."

Devlin gave a non committal grunt. "Fine then. But if I'm leaving you, your security must be tighter than a drum. I will triple your guards. Your safety is top priority."

"Yes sir."

They all laughed.

"Well then, Wifey, I think it's high time we head home."

~

Hello dear readers! Thank you for reading.

I made reference to suicide and I apologize to whomever might find it triggering or upsetting. Mental health is not a joke.

Please check up on one another, ask how they're doing, even if they haven't asked about you.

I pray for the strength to keep going, for whomever might be going through any form of mental depression. You're not alone❤