I wasn't going to post but since I promised yesterday, I had to. It's a sort chapter because it's late night over here.

Ps, for all those who 'love' Rashi and Jay, you'll hate me by the end of this book because oh boy, oh boy, I'd make them suffer. Lol, it was planned since day one of this story!

Started Typing On - 20/03/2019 (10.38 PM)

Chapter 84-Twisted Mind

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Author's Pov:

The only voice they heard being spoken was Jaanvi. The only heavy breaths they heard were Juhi's. Safe to say, they all believed Jaanvi except for Juhi's family. After all, they couldn't imagine their mother, his wife being a murderer. To an extend her grandma was angry. Jaanvi was angry and broken but the old lady couldn't quite work out why she'd talk like this-like addressing elders with their names, calling her uncle an 'old man,' if only she felt what her granddaughter went through all those years.

For a moment, it wasn't about her mother's death. It was about the lies she's been fed of eating her mother alive. Of living in fear of being locked in the dark store room with that dummy clown. Of just blaming herself for everything that had happened. 

"Why?" It was only her tears that were keeping her soul alive in the furnace of her pain. Of this pain. Her pain couldn't extinguish what had been done years ago, yet it only carried her forward until the time comes when the searing pain is distance enough for her to forget more than she remembered. Maybe one day, one day when she's old, or-or when she's happier it might erase itself from her brain.

But the scar. The scar in her heart-the hole would always remain. It was like erasing your dark writing on the white piece of paper, it does erase, but the outline of your writing is still there. You can still feel and see that you've-or someone else had erased something. It leaves a mark-an evidence to remind you, that once something was written over there.

She should be proud of her tears, proud that she was still an emotional person. After all, her tears were the one saving her from becoming a monster. A heartless monster. A person indifferent to suffering and sorrow could do the best thing, the smartest thing by crying. They say crying is like pushing away-throwing away all those negative feelings, ideas, emotions which just wouldn't stop building up. Tears are known to help us relax, maybe that's why people cry a lot.

Maybe that why women-females are emotional. Perhaps that's why men-male cry in darkness. We all cry, but some just tend to hide it. If only they knew how badly it was just increasing the pain.

She wanted to stop it. Jaanvi wanted to stop looking so pathetic, so vulnerable. She wanted to look dead-serious, scary and someone they all hated. She didn't want to be loved, there was no space in her heart for love now. Her heart was claimed by hate and anger. It only got worst.

She didn't care if her parent-in-laws were judging her loud, horrifying and broken sobs. She didn't care about her husband's siblings-Kajal especially, watching as she fell on the floor, her saree now damped from the knees because the floor was wet due to the juice spilling. Her friend was no new to this. She'd had her number shares of witnessing Jaanvi's breakdown throughout her life but today was different. But it wasn't nice. They were still tears-just worst.

Jaanvi didn't care about her grandma's opinions, her cousins, her uncle, her father or even her husband. She just sat there, on her knees as the cold juice touched her inner skirt under the saree, she should be shivering from the cold contact, but she didn't. Her body was already burning in anger.

"S-s-she was your age. J-just f-few years older than you." Jaanvi whispered. The tears burst forth like water running under the tap, spilling down her red face. Down her red angry cheeks. She felt the muscles in her body tremble, her chin trembled like a small child. Kiaan heard the sounds of sobs, like a distressed child, raw and damaged from inside before it could ever have built up. An injured heart. And his wasn't less.

Throughout his marriage with hers, around in these seventeen or eighteen days he'd learnt how the smallest things remind her of her mother. The lady she's never seen. She loved-loves the lady she'd never seen before, he can't imagine what could be happening right now if Ishaani died a few years later after Jaanvi's birth, perhaps which would be worst for her to handle.

"She wanted her child to be happy." Her eyes drifted from her lap to glancing up at Juhi with her teary eyes. "And not so emotional like herself. And like my dad. N-now look." She scoffs, even a forced smile seemed like a difficult task to her. "My tears are flowing like river. Running down my face like this juice."

Juhi just gulped, tilting her face to the side so she doesn't have to make eye contact with a broken girl or the others. She remains on her spot, looking emotionless. Jaanvi was trying to get up from the support of her shivering hands when she fell back down, hissing in pain.

Kiaan who stood few meters away from her, rushed to help her but she just shook her head, looking at him. "I don't need anyone." Her voice was high pitch in anger. She didn't sound like the Jaanvi from this morning. Yeah, she was still worried about the house problem but she did reply 'I love you too,' to him with a cheerful voice, he could imagine her smiling over the phone. And now, it seems like the only reason why she said those words were because she had a feeling of never repeating them again. Ever.

He withdrawed his hands from touching her, bringing it back to himself he just stayed kneeling down as she rose up.

"L-l-let m-me s-show you something." She smiled, a broken childish smile. The type of smile someone might give when they're mentally disturbed, when they've lost someone they love-perhaps a spouse. Dhruv who tried to stop her from running upstairs, held her shoulders, shaking her with a desperate pleading look.

"P-please. S-stop." He cried, choking on his words.

She smiled, letting her top teeth's graze her lower lip before she closed her mouth. She smiled genuinely at him, wiping his tears away. "I need to show her something. To show you all something." She dropped her hand from his cheek, getting out of his grip as she ran upstairs into her father's room. "I need to find it." It was a card. A card her mother had written while she was six months pregnant with Jaanvi, just two months before her death.

Ishaani had always been someone who cherished every day of her life. She use to repeat this sentence the most to Ansh in their college days, 'live today because who knows what'll happen tomorrow Mr Nice.' Throughout her pregnancy she was always happy. Too happy in Ansh's opinion. She'd always talk about baby names with him, always talk about what her child would want to become. She even started writing a diary every day, noting down how she felt in a certain day, what she craved for, how she was super excited to see her baby smiling at her. How her baby would giggle in front of her eyes as she made funny faces. How she'd hold onto the little soft fingers of her innocent child.

She started writing birthday cards for her child. From the first month of her pregnancy till eighth month-she wasn't alive for the ninth. The first month's card was supposed to represent Jaanvi's first birthday. The second month's card was for her second birthday. And so on...

She liked writing, once wanted to be a writer also until she ran away with Ansh, then life changed. It wasn't like Ishaani felt her death coming closer, she just wanted to give-to read her child the cards in a way a pregnant lady would read. To read something to her child which she wrote when her baby was inside her womb. To almost judge whether her wishes or what she imagined her child to be like was even like that. Sort of comparing her thoughts to her actual baby.

Who knew those cards would mean a lot more to Jaanvi than it did to Ishaani while she wrote it. Maybe that's where Jaanvi gets the feeling or obsession of writing diaries, keeping old cards and old things as memories. Since her first birthday to her eighth, Ansh read them all to his daughter on her birthdays until the last one, eighth.

But it was Jaanvi who read the first birthday card to herself at eleven, second birthday card at twelve, third at thirteen, fourth at fourteen, fifty at fifteen, sixth at sixteen, seventh at seventeen and eight, at eighteenth. Because she couldn't remember what her mother wrote inside her cards since she was little when he father read them.

She ran downstairs, smiling widely as she stood in the middle of the living room, looking at Juhi with an innocent baby smile. "I f-found them." She huffed, catching her breath. "S-sorry, i-I've been running all the way." She explained, reading the first birthday card to everyone.

"My mother wrote this when she was four weeks pregnant, 'Happy first birthday beta. (Child/Dear) I don't know if you're a boy or a girl right now, but I wish you're someone different from us. Not as emotional as your papa and me. And I hope you pinch your papa's nose because he hates that. Sensitive person I guess.' She drew a smiley face." Jaanvi smiled, running her hand through the extremely old paper card her mother made herself. Her lips trembled in rawness of her pain, like it was reopened again.

"'I hope I've been a good mother to you for the past twelve months.' But she wasn't here. She didn't even get the chance to see me." Ansh's sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his grief-the opened grief-all his sadness washed away in his salty tears but his heart still hurt like hell. Jaanvi's attention went to her father, sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, letting the sorrowful tears fall. When she looked at him, there sat a picture of him in grief, loss and devastated. It was the face of someone who had suffered before but didn't know how much. Because he never knew he could have saved her. She could have lived. Seeing him Jaanvi knew, she knew he couldn't do it again. He couldn't go through it again.

She ripped her face away from her father, biting onto her lip not to join into the crying game with her father.

Jaanvi went straight to the last card. The eighth. "' You are eight years old today. God knows how well of a mother I have been, I'm sure Ansh is better than Me.' she put a laughing sticker. 'I met Kiaan today--'" she dropped the other cards, holding onto the last crushing it into her fingers. She furiously wiped away her tears, breathing heavily.

And at the moment, Kiaan let out a heart wrecking cries. Smashing his hand on the ground, not once, not twice, over five times until Dhruv and Kajal held his hand back. "Bhai please." (Elder Brother) Kajal broke down, squeezing his hand while her other hand touched his cheeks to calm him down. His right hand was bleeding, the fisted knuckles weren't white now but red, dark red as the blood touched the white floor. He refused to let his injured fist unwrap, even as his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with emotions. Unwilling to stop.

Kiaan's dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears, his brother held his shoulders tightly, firm enough for to calm his tensed muscles down. His hands were still clenched into shaking fist in anger, as if he was desperate to battle against the grief and anger. A lone tear traced down his cheeks, and within a minute the floodgates opened letting it all down.

He wiped tears streaming from his deep earthy brown eyes, loud and heavy sobs tearing from his dry throat with heavy lumps. Not until the sobs drove him nuts. He jerked away his brother's hand of his shoulder, standing up letting his sister's hand fall free.

He didn't lose his mother, he didn't go through anything that Jaanvi did but he felt it. He felt it so badly, so strongly and so painfully that he stalked towards Juhi, wrapping his muscular hand around her old throat. A gasp escaped everyone mouth seeing the murderous looking in Kiaan's eyes and the way his body moved.

Jay, Sanjay, Dhruv and even Rashi tried to pull Kiaan off of the lady as she coughed. Her eyes were closing from the pressure he had put in her old throat. Panicking, Juhi pressed her nails into his arms, pushing onto his skin over the white shirt he wore. Aditi remained crying on the floor, reading the seven cards Ishaani had left while Jaanvi held the last one, just gazing down at it. Smiling. Ma did love me even though she never saw me. Roshni was so horrified by the scene that she took the old lady inside the room, not wanting her to hear or witness such acts and yells. Her husband, Raj stayed with Ansh trying to give him some water since he's been crying unstop for so long.

"WHY WOULD YOU? WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?" His sharp blazing voice roared in the house, making everyone flinch but Jaanvi couldn't hear anything.

"'-he's only a year and few months old right now but he'll be ten soon by the time you read this card. I wanted a son first, but I guess I have one already. Maybe that's why I pray you're a girl so I get to see my princess marrying the boy I love as my own. Happy eight birthday beta. I wish you have an amazing day. From Mumma.'" Jaanvi finished holding the card close to her chest. "She loved you Kiaan."

It's like her words held double meaning, or maybe they were just genuinely honest but he took it as a command of killing Juhi. He held her throat, pushing her body back making her touch the door behind her. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Kiaan's angry eyes were just the start, his words were enough to slam everyone's mouth shut. His attractiveness was gone, it was replaced by a beasty look. His broad shoulders has stiffened in anger, radiating through his body. His face was red, his nose flaring, if possible, they could see the hot air coming out of his ear.

His hand, strongly pulling, trying to crush her throat in his hand, the veins on his arm popping out. If the situation was different Jaanvi would be impressed but right now, she was just looking at her husband trying to figure out what he was doing. Her brain seemed to process slowly all of a sudden. She had this weird, blank face. Expressionless. Like she couldn't see anything bad happening, or anything happening at all.

His legs rooted to the ground, holding his spot firmly as he dug his nails into the back of her throat. "Please, d-d-don't." Rashi cried, holding his arm to pull it away. "D-d-don't kill my mum. D-don't, i-I beg you." She placed her hand on his leg, trying to shake him to get his attention.

"Bhai don't. Y-you aren't like her." (Elder Brother) Dhruv raised his voice, clear to everyone to hear. His hands gripped Kiaan's shoulder, pulling him back from the old lady whose face turned rose red, her eyes giving up.

"You're right. We aren't." Jaanvi said. The voice, the only voice which brought him back to his senses. In one go, one word spoken by his wife was enough for him to let go. He opened his hand, giving his throat with a jerk, pushing her body back harshly. His arm still remained straight, strong but relaxed. His ears seemed to wish to hear Jaanvi's voice again.

She walked up to Juhi, standing right in front of her as other's watched. "Why?" Tears were just gone. She ran out of them, there were too many of them for the past hour or so. She couldn't believe, and neither could other's especially Kiaan that she held Juhi's hold wrinkly hands, squeezing them. Squeezing them as if she was pleading. Pleading for the truth. The truth for the first time by Juhi. Even Ishaani doesn't know she was killed. Or maybe she does. Ghost's see things right?

"Please," She let out the heaviest breath, shaking as she cried again. She thought her tears had ran out but they had not. She impatiently moved in her spot, waiting for Juhi to speak. "-had ma ever talked ill to you? Did she do something wrong? W-w-was she really mean?" She knew from what her father, her grandma had described her mother's as, she was sure Ishaani wasn't mean.

Even in her pictures she looked so-carefree. She had this edgy look to herself. The video's she'd seen showed how wonderful and nice she was. Just like Dr Anil had mentioned.

"J-J-just talk to me!" She screamed, furiously touching, massaging her head. Her head was spinning, maybe because she hadn't ate anything since the morning, and Jaanvi couldn't control hunger. Maybe because she's been crying too much, stressing too much.

"I hated her." Even now she had venom in her voice. No regret.

"Ma" Rashi whispered, her jaw dropped. Juhi's family now realised Jaanvi was right. "You didn't. i-I know." Rashi tried to shove away the truth.

"Why did you hate her? Why?" Dhruv asked, glaring at the women.

"BECAUSE EVERYONE PRAISED HER! SHE MARRIED A MUTE!" Juhi glares towards the crying Ansh, who know raised his wet lashes to see Juhi's face. Hatred. He saw that. Anger. He also saw, jealousy and frustration. "EVERYONE THOUGHT SHE'S SOME GODESS FOR MARRY A MUTE LIKE ANSH RATHER THAN MARRY SOME HIGHLY EDUCATED GUY WITH A VOICE! BUT ANSH HAD MONEY! DIDN'T PEOPLE SEE THAT? IF HE WAS POOR SHE WOULN'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM!" Her outburst left everyone stunned.

"She didn't hate me Jaanvi, I did." She whispered, taking her hand away from Jaanvi's. Jaanvi took steps back, shocked beyond words to understand why? Why would Juhi do that? She bumped into Kiaan's back who held her shoulders to keep her in place. To make her hear the truth. She needed it badly. "She was beautiful. She had a dusky skin! A dusky skin and I had fair yet every relative of ours would praise her! On top of that she was educated! I was tenth pass, village girl! She ran away from her house for your father but no one taunted her for that! Instead they praised her for choosing Ansh even though he had faults! Because of all of this I was mad! I wasn't praised!" She screamed, flaming in anger.

"Nhhh, laaii." Ansh sobbed, trying to speak out what he felt. Jaanvi looked back to see a broken Ansh. He was like that when Ishaani died but Jaanvi doesn't remember the look. "Jaave nhh, laaii." He yelled, throwing the vase beside him, letting it shatter into little pieces. Raj hugged him trying to ease his pain. But nobody could remove it completely.

"No, you're lying. Papa said you're lying!" Her voice went from calm soft to angry roar in a second. She looked back to see her father speaking to her in sign language. She repeated everything he said to everyone "'whenever Ishaani got gifts she shared it with Juhi. She even offered to teach Juhi English but she declined! They were both treated equally. Ishaani didn't even know I was financially stable when we started dating each other. She's lying Jaanvi.'" Jaanvi finished, turning to look at Juhi.

Juhi had a twisted mind. She took Ishaani's kind gestured into a negative one. Her one little kind words, help and gestures were twisted into something negative. It was all in Juhi's jealous head.

Kiaan's hold on her shoulder tightened in anger, how could she? "No! She wasn't giving me them. She was passing it onto me like I was some beggar! She offered to teach me English to probably look like the nice educated girl like she always behaved! I didn't want to be the reason behind her praises for once."

"How could you?" Sanjay spoke, glaring at his wife with shock. Jay just couldn't believe it. He walked over to his mother, cupping her cheeks to make her look at him.

"Tell me you're lying because of Jaanvi. Tell me."

She ignored her son, bring her hatred eyes back to Jaanvi. "When I found out she was pregnant I was furious. Her child would be the first grandchild in this family, I didn't want that. I prayed every day for kid, for you to die. But she was fine. Until when I got the chance to get rid of her. I was hoping you both would die so my children could own this house, to be the only grandchildren but you survived. But it was better to see you then her. If she was alive she could have had more children, and the praises would continue. So I de--"

The quietest person in the family had raised his hand. The person who kept his nose in his own business has lost his temper. The one who had lost the most and gained the most on the same day-October 25th 1993 had broken the wall of his kindness-finally. The one who always believed in 'happy joint family' had lost all hope. He lost everything, once again.

"Geaautt!" He yelled, glaring at the dark red mark on her cheeks given by him. He was furious, he wasn't even like this when people made fun of him. Today was different. All he wanted was them to be out. He didn't want a joint family anymore. He didn't want fake so-called family as Jaanvi use to say. All he wanted was, his mother and his daughter by his side.

But one was ill from heart for so long, counting her days.

The other had lost her senses. Felt mentally and physically harmed-injured brutally.

Get out. She whispered her father's exact words in her head.

Married My Enemy 

Good night.