Imagine this is Jennifer Winget who plays Jaanvi!

Started Typing On - 06/04/2019 (4.47 Pm)

Chapter 101- Destroyed/Ruined Life Of Hers 

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Jaanvi's Pov:

"Are you sure you can manage? I could come over." I hear the concerned voice of Kiaan over the phone. I instantly smiled at his worried sick behaviour. He's always been like that. "Jaan?"

"I'm here." I muttered stuffing the doughnut into my mouth. Licking away the melting chocolate on lip all because of Kiaan. Back story; I reminded Kiaan to put the doughnuts away on the fridge so the icing doesn't melt but he doesn't remember things now days. All he remembers is his work and ordering me around to 'wear this and don't wear this or you'll get cold. Eat this, don't eat this.' So now, I'm eating a chocolate doughnut with the melting-"I've travelled from the bus before Kiaan."

"I-I know." His voice lowers like he's disappointed at himself for not being here with me or that I'm not listening to him.

"You can't come, we both are aware of that." I murmured once the doughnut was chewed and inside my throat and down it goes into my stomach. I grab the purse from the couch and start to search for the key I left inside the black purse. "I'll call you once I'm sitting on the bus then I'll leave a miscall when I'm heading back home." Maybe this could convince him.

He just sighed, his usual habit. "Aarav could com--"

"Kiaan, no." I refused. Aarav already has too much on his plate. He's a nice guy but I'm not comfortable enough to travel with Kiaan's male friends, especially when I'm a living vomit machine. Kiaan's words, not mine. "I like the bus. It's quiet and affordable. It's not nice to disturb Aarav when he must be doing something." I said fishing out the key.

Looking at my reflection on the mirror I nodded at myself holding the phone closer to my ear. I touched my six weeks old stomach and smiled. I still looked the same size wise but only I could feel and tell the difference. I wore a black and orange printed maxi dress with ethnic patterns around it with normal sleeves. The dress finished just few inches below my knee. I left my hair open because I couldn't be bothered tying them up and walked out the room with the keys jingling around my fingers.

I glance up at the clock to see it's already twelve past three. "Kiaan I really have to go. I'll talk to you later, promise."

"You better be home by two or I'm sending Aarav over if I can't come." It can be frustrating at times but I try to push away the feeling. Yes, I'm not perfectly aware of the place but I've travelled from the bus before. Even if I get lost I can speak English and I have a phone but seems like Kiaan forgot everything.

"Yes." My voice was tight in return to his bossy nature. I hated the bossy Kiaan.

"Don't stay out in the sun much. Wear an h--"

"I have a hate Kiaan." I roll my eyes but I can't help but smile at his protective nature. "I've also got a jacket incase it gets cold, good? And I've definitely got a plastic bag with me for the vomits. If I vomit." I stressed the word if purposely.

He chuckled over the phone. The loud and my mood lifting chuckle. "Darling, oh, you will vomit. Thankfully not in Reyansh's car this time. Poor man is still struggling to find the same car without the vomit prints on them." He said in a matter-of-fact tone and laughed again making me groan.

"You offered to send him over last Thursday. Not my fault." I walk out the house, pushing the key inside the hole and twist it. Making sure it's locked I walk down the stairs carefully with my purse strap on my shoulder. "He needs to calm down his love and desire for cars."

"He can't help it." And I couldn't help my chuckle remembering Reyansh's horrified face. He had jumped out of the car and panicked so hard that I noticed his eyes going blur. I felt so bad, he's such a sweet guy but cars are his weakness and I might have poked his weakness unintentionally. He didn't yell at me but I could see the hurt in his eyes.

'i-I'm s-so very sorry.' I had said with my trebling lips.

'I-It's ok.' His voice broke but he kept on splashing the water inside the car to wipe away the vomit from the hand-break and some on my seat. 'Congratulations.' He basically sounded so pained knowing I'm pregnant. I can't blame him, my child and I did hurt his emotions.

'Thank you.' I cried. My emotions were all over the place and so were his.

"Did the baby kick?" His voice was quiet, meant he was wishing I don't yell at him for the fifth time. I could imagine him scratching his neck in nervousness.

"Kiaan." I said in a warning tone. "It's been only six week." He's literally been asking me the same question for the past one week after the ultrasound. Man's got no patience in this department. 

"Right." His voice was bitter, not to me but to himself because he couldn't wait. He tells me every night how impatient he is to hold our baby's hand and kiss her or his cheeks. 'My full attention would be on the baby. Count your time because you ain't getting my attention after the baby is born.' His sassy and naughty voice touched my ears and I ignored it with a major eye roll.

"Bye." I hang up and start walking to the bus-stop before the bus leaves without me. It better not or I'll have to wait. I stand under the shady area looking around to find bus six when my phone in my hand buzzes. I flick it open with a smile on my lips, more like a laugh but I compress it.

Aditi- What about Ishika?

Me- Adi it may be a boy. Why are you and Kiaan to uptight and sure that it's a girl?

Aditi had found the video the next day after Kiaan had sent her. She was mad. Mad that I decided to break the news to our family members without her presence but she understood and accepted that her network was also at fault. I was just glad that Dhruv hadn't told her because I can sense his attraction for my best friend. I bet he messages her every day.

She was thrilled. Over the moon about becoming an aunty. Aunty. Rashi was entitled to this not Aditi. I love Aditi, I very much do but if I look at it from the blood perspective Rashi and Kajal are the aunties. But Adi would be the best aunty. I shook away the feeling and smile at her reply.

Aditi- Well, true. If it's a son you can always try for a daughter. *Wink face* I'm sure jiju (Brother-in-law) would love that.

I can also pull her leg. And I do.

Me- I think jiju (Brother-in-law) would also love it if you become his brother's wife. *Wink face*

Aditi- I'm busy. Bye.

Me- Wow, already working on the order huh? Great job Adi.

Aditi- Piss off *Angry face*

I giggle before turning my face off. It felt so nice to just be able to communicate with someone for a while and forget everything that's going on. I missed her, so much. I'm glad she's back from her family mini vacation, she needed it after Jai's awkward proposal. I'm happy she took some time to herself.  Adi calls every day. Unlike before, I decide to speak to her for least an hour even if I don't feel like talking to someone. Jacinda says the more I try to talk and show interest in others life the more alive and normal I feel. She's right. It feels nice just being able to listen to her blabbering about the café and her house and in return she listens to me as well.

And Kian prefers to work in the room and not disturb me in the balcony when I'm talking to Aditi. He says privacy is good between two friends, especially female best friends. And I strongly agree. I like how he knows when to and how to behave.

Ma calls, she calls every day asking how I am and what I've done to cut my time. Papa on the other side prefers to text. I called him the other day, Face Timed him but he didn't pick up saying 'I'm busy.' He's lying. He can't just be busy and never call me back. Papa always called me back when he was free after work but he didn't. I wanted to talk to grandma but he said she was asleep. I don't have a good feeling about it but Kiaan wouldn't listen.

'You're just over thinking like always.' I murmurs snuggling closer to me.

'I think something is wrong, I'm serious.' I rest my head on his stomach closing my eyes. To my shock his heartbeats quickened like he's hiding something.

'Shit. I forgot to send an email. I'll do it now, sorry Jaanvi.' And he leaves, getting away from me and out the room with his laptop. It felt so fake. His own voice didn't help but make me doubt the situation even more.

I probably was over thinking. Papa's getting old which means his memory might be slacking. "You again." I was greeted by a loud voice of the same old man who drives to King Street.

"Hello." I greet passing away my three dollars and eighty cents into his old rough palms.

~

"Mrs Jaanvi Rajput." I instantly smiled lifting my readable eyes away from the novel I brought with me and onto Jacinda's casual small smile face. I carefully zipped away my purse with my novel inside it and stood up carefully and shook her extended hand in my way. She was very professional, I mean, I wasn't her friend to hug any ways.

"Hello." I politely greet and she nods in reply heading over to the door. Punching in some four letter codes the door opened after she pushed it so I could go in. Muttering a small and genuine 'thank you,' we head inside the same room of hers.

It was when she was closing the door to give us privacy when I noticed her clothes. She wore a white and black checked shirt with a spread collar and long sleeves with two chest pockets. I liked how she wore such casual and simple clothes and yet looked stunning. Her blond hair was straightened today unlike the little waves hanging on the end like the other days.

"What were you reading?" She questions, her American accent was softer right now. Her professional serious face was facing me from her chair to the couch where I sat.

"Anne of Green Gables." I reply ready to show her the book but she stops me before I do so.

"It's ok." She smiled lightly and easily. "How are you? Things with your family?" She gets straight to business. I like that. I mean, that's what I'm-Kiaan is paying her for.

"Good." I chirp in happiness. "Everything's good. My-my best friend calls every day to check how things are with me. She's far but feels so close." Jacinda nods my way. I lick my dry lips, "My father keeps a tab through texts my husband, Kiaan's mother calls. I sometimes speak to my father-in-law if he's at home and Kiaan's siblings call here and there at times."

"You're in a good place? You feel happy about everything?" She looked a little concern as she leaned back on her chair.

I nod assuring her I was fine. "Yes, I am. I didn't feel this way before but I am in a way better place. I've learnt how to judge people quickly now." She raised her eyebrows, her eyes narrowing as if I said something offend worthy. "-judge as in trust. I've learnt not to trust people quickly. Being emotional can be weakness. And I had that. I expected everyone to be as nice as me but the world doesn't work like that."

"Oh," she seemed to understand the real meaning behind my twisted phrase. "You trust me though." She said it more as a statement. She was always so confident. I envied that some times.

"You're not going to judge me for my past, I mean," I shift in my seat. "You've seen worse people than me and this is your job. You understand p-p-people like me. You're not going to walk into my house and tell my husband how I saw my dead mother before I tried to take my life. What's spoken in this room stays here. It's not whispered around like Chinese whisper. I like how I can talk to a stranger--" I pause to see if she's offended with the tag 'stranger' though this is our fourth of fifth meeting but she doesn't show anything.

SO I continue. "-without feeling judged for myself."

"Yes, it makes sense." She agrees. I noticed she hadn't coloured her eyebrows today, they were her natural brown colour. She looked so much better like this. "Are you still worried?" She asks and I give her a confused shake. "About the baby? How you'll be a mother."

I let out a chuckle putting my hand on my stomach. It wasn't easy for people to notice I was pregnant but I obviously and Kiaan could tell the difference. I blush into the darkest shade of red remembering what Kiaan had said last night.

'Little bird doesn't look as little as the days pass.' He winks at me and I bury my face under my palms. 'Oh, Miss Ariel got shy.' I smack his hand away but he just hugs me with his grin touching my bare shoulders.

"It did bother me at first, I'll be fairly honest with you but then my husband made me realise how every mother goes through it and every father." I sigh remembering the seriousness on his face.

Jacinda's blue icy eyes bores into mine with an unhappy lip moving as she spoke. "Then why were you worried about being a mother?"

"Because i-i-i-I n-n-never had one so i-I was scared. I didn't know what I should do or how I should be behaving but Kiaan, my husband." I added the husband incase she forgot but she nodded, blinking for a while. "He helped me understand how equally stressed he was."

'I'm already stressing over who our child would marry. Should be some doctor because our child would most likely be screwed up.' He joked and I smack his hand giving him a look. 'Sorry Hitler,' he raised his hand up in surrender and I roll my eyes.

'I'm sure our parents weren't through the same pressure. I know you're worried because you can't follow your mother's footsteps but you can just follow the flow? Or Ma's, I mean she'll probably be in New York by the time our kid starts school. We'll get through it, I'll be here. Right here with open arms even if you fucked up bad.' He adds a little joke towards the end with his open arms.

'You called me Hitler, I won't hug you Hindu looking guy. I'm a racist Adolf remember?' I snarl eating my chocolate and acting in full character.

'Well this Hindu looking guy deserves to hug this Hitler, maybe I could pass some positive energy his way?' Kiaan walked over to me, hugging me tight and I try to push him away in an act.

'More like passing gay energy, remember I'm a male?' I spoke out the facts, biting my inner cheek to keep the smile away from my lips.

'I'd love to devour this Hitler in this century.' He smirks eying me up and down like some jerk and I give him a disgusting look. 'What?' he asked looking annoyed and bored.

'My lord, first point, you've got nothing else inside this big yet empty skull of yours, haven't you? And my lord, second point, don't talk about your desires with Hitler because I can visually see it.'

He moves away from me frowning like mad man and disgusted. 'Tu kitni disgusting hai yaar.' (You're so disgusting man) 'And yes, that's all the goes in my brain but exists right away when you open your weird, crazy, annoying and loud mouth.' He scrunches up his noses and I laugh.

'Aree, aaja nah, Hitler is waiting.' (Oh, come on nah, Hitler is waiting) I open my arms wide for him and give him a wicked grin. 'Hitler wants to devour you now.' I jump up from the couch to catch him but he storm away and I giggled at him.

Into the room he walks away before yelling.'I hate you Jaanvi and I hate Hitler's mum for giving birth to him. Now I can't get the image out of my head. Eww Jaanvi! And NO PIZZA FOR YOU!' And there he went, slamming the door on my face and my desire for eating some spicy pizza was destroyed by him.

"I don't know how we'll be but I'm sure it'll be ok. I'll have our families with us." I smiled more to myself then her. "I'm trying to be as positive as I can, I don't want to stress myself out more than I probably already Am." I mutter gazing at the blue rug underneath my feet.

"Yes, indeed. It's good to see you trying. You should maybe pain something you like or draw, read something nice and different. Do different things to keep yourself engaged." Dr suggested, she was reading all this from her notebook as if she's been preparing to tell me all this for so long. She drops her pen on the book and looks up at me and I divert my eyes not knowing what to do.

"Yes." I croak and then clear my throat to sound more confident and interested than I was. "I will, thank you for the suggestions."

"Sounds great. Anything else you want to talk about? Or you feel something certainly confused or off about?" She closes her small black notebook with the pen still inside it and I watch every step being bored.

Should I talk about grandma? I had my doubts but was dragging the conversation and talking about something possible not interesting or positive needed? For the first time Jacinda and I had communicated without talking about Juhi, my rough childhood or how awful I felt about becoming pregnant. We were talking about nice things, smiling and enjoying and appreciating my improvement. A small doubt could lead this conversation to another direction.

"No. Nothing else, thank you for asking though." I respect her concern and walk out her room since we've come to an end for today. I walk out the door with my right hand unzipping my bag hanging on the same shoulder. Hearing the zip open I snuggle my hand trying to find the doughnut inside the little box I felt. Where is it?

One thing was good, I kept my food with me at all times now. Taking the little box type of clear and blue boarded container I took out one little doughnut and shoved it into my mouth, chewing onto it slowly to enjoy the taste I threw the container back into the purse and took out my water bottle so I'd be washing it down my throat with a gulp of cold water.

Number eight. I tap my foot impatiently looking at every vehicle driving on my side of the road to spot eight number bus but couldn't. Taking my phone out I started playing Candy Crush to pass my time until I feel the shadow of the big bus on me in order to protect me from the hot sun. I was swapping the red candy to the purple and would have won the level for sure but Kiaan's name popped up in my screen making me groan.

"Phone kyu kara! Ughh Kiaan tu ghar aa aaja." (Why did you call me? Ughh just come home today Kiaan, I'll see you.) I intentionally spoke in Hindi because I wouldn't say those sweet sentence to him in English with people standing next to me. I wasn't that stupid. Least till date. My grumbly voice obviously was heard by him but being himself he gave me the most un-digesting reply ever. He doesn't even pay attention to my mood, he does but ignores it.

"Oh ho, meri billi kya kargei mujhe? I'm already blushing at your desires Jaanvi. Mujhe nahi pata tha ki tu itni bold hogi." (Oh my, what will my cat do to me? I'm already blushes at your desires Jaanvi. I wasn't aware that you're this bold.)

He never failed or tried to fail to fantasise in every possible situation, didn't he? His voice was dangerously low, almost like a low growl into my ear and definitely summing up the depth of his interaction and the openly hidden meaning behind his answer. I'm sure he must be smirking and here I was flaming in frustration. 

"My bus hasn't come." I decided to be the mature one and drop the other part of the conversation. If I started talking in irritation he'll probably do the same and our phone bills would be touching the sky.

"Main bus driver hoon?" (Am I the bus driver?)  He replied with a hint of sarcasm. No, not hint, he was being fully sarcastic. Like completely sarcastic. Like opposite of being serious and honest. As in being dumb.

What do I say? I looked around the road and around me to get some sort of idea into my empty head. I bite my lip hard in frustration. I should get an idea. My eyes drops on an Indian guy and I smile leaving my lip being assaulted by my teeth.

"Oh my god," I say dreamingly on purpose. Kiaan on the other side mutters a 'what? Are you ok?' Well, he didn't care about how I felt a few seconds ago. "Kiaan! Ek ladka. Itna sundar hai! Uff!" (Kiaan! One guy! He's so handsome! Uff!) I exclaim laughing my eyes out to the extend that I felt them watering up.

"What the hell! This is so inappropriate Jaanvi." He growls over the phone and I heard the heavy breaths taken by him.

"Wasn't I billi (Cat) a few seconds ago?" I pressed seeing the bus eight approaching my way. I took out the money from my wallet inside the purse and start to line up behind people with my phone in my hand.

"Jaan serious ho ja." (Jaan be serious.) He says in one of this most famous clenched jaw voices. Hot but I won't admit it.

"I remembered a song seeing his gorgeous face Kaan." I muttered giving the dollar and coins to the lady driver and sit on the front seat since the back seats require some leg lifting because of the stairs. Sinking down on the window seat I start saying the lyrics out to him slowly. "Dil chahe jitna pyar utna maang lo." (Ask as much love as your heart yearns for.)

"J-J-Jaanvi Rajput!" He's basically yelling over the phone now. No patience. I thought he made more since he's been living under the same roof as me. "You're married and pregnant! How dare you."

"And then I want to reply this, listen huh, carefully listen," I request him with my soft velvet voice. He spoke about Kate being so fit so here it goes from his becoming fat wife. I smile wickedly before saying the lyrics to him "Ho, tumko mileha utna pyar main hoon na." (You'll get that much love, I am here. I will make sure of that."

"And I will make sure that I punish the hell out of you. You're not getting any pizza." He grumbles over the phone, probably all red by now with smoke coming out of his ears and his free hand fisted with clenched jaw. Kiaan must be cursing that poor guy.

"I'm already not getting Pizza." I muttered disappointingly with my eyes rolling half way but go still hearing his next words.

"You're not getting any doughnuts or cakes as well!"

Brutal!

Cruel!

Ruthless.

Wait, these words means the same thing. I huff over the phone to protest but he hangs up on me and I just sit on my seat sulking with a sour look plastering on my face. I will back-bitch about your papa to you. He doesn't let me eat what I love! Why? Because I teased him? So arrogant! I promise myself with a determined face touching my belly.

"Mera to itna life kharaab ho gaya." (My life is so destroyed/ruined-It's a famous Indian movie dialogue) I cry in sadness with small water drops trailing down my cheeks. I hate crying. You're doing this. Ughh.

Married My Enemy

Song name, Main Hoon Na

FIVE CHAPTER TO GO!