This is the prologue for a short story im working on :) (maybe)

Also lots of mentions of suicide and sadness so WARNING

Jinyoung

Pure white entered my vision,  I quickly closed my eyes to let them adjust. Slowly opening them again I was greeted with, nothing. The white color stretched for what felt like forever. I reached out a hand, stepping forward. Where am I? My foot fell into some sort of ditch and I tumbled forward with a yelp. Landing on the pale surface I scrambled to my feet as fast as possible. I searched behind me for some sort of hole I stumbled on, but there was nothing. No ground I could spot. Furrowing my eyebrows in confusion I faced the opposite direction, a black object quickly caught my attention in the pure white abyss,"A letter?" My voice came out harsh, as if I hadn't spoken in days. Placed in front of me was what seemed to be a letter, neatly situated on the floor. Only then was I completely aware of the silence around me. I had never heard total silence, it was unsettling.

Shaking the thought off I grasped the letter, turning it over to tear it open. My hand froze in place. The letter was already open, ripped at the top. Pushing the suspicion aside I pulled out lined paper, folded to fit in the envelope. Unfolding it I felt goosebumps spread over my skin. The handwriting was strikingly familiar. It was mine. Why had I written a letter? Why was it here now? Maybe reading the words would answer my questions. I instantly began my search for answers.

  Dear, ----

My head tilted at the scratched out name. Why had it been scratched out? Why couldn't I remember who it was?

    This letter I wrote to you for one reason, to remind you of a few things. The first one is, that it is not your fault. You did nothing but support me and try to help me in everything I did and I thank you for that. So me leaving was a tuff decision because you made me want to stay. I will miss you so much. The second thing is that I have left you my belongings, you can do with them what you wish. Please keep them, you know I loved living with you. For the short time I did. This letter is all over the place, anyways, the third thing is that I want you to move on. Don't let me hold you back from finding someone who is mentally stable, who can promise you forever. I want you to be happy, please be happy. And the final thing is that....I have to go, for personal reasons that have nothing to do with you. And I love you, I love you I love you I love you. Don't forget that ----

      Goodbye,
          --------

   My breath hitched, I loved someone. I left them, how could I leave them? They meant so much to me and I can't even remember them. I shut my eyes in anger, hands gripping my hair. Letting out a cry I frustratedly threw the letter to the ground, tears flowing down my cheeks. And then suddenly my mind went blank.

Why am I sad? I touched my face blindly. Why am I crying? Did something happen to me? Why can't I open my eyes? "Why can't I open my eyes?" I gasped as the words left me. It took strength, speaking never took strength before. But what had I been doing, to be so sad? I tried to remember, to search for an answer, but all I found was white. I had been in a white room. Where am I now? Still in a white room? What had I done in the white room? Pain suddenly appeared in my leg, and it clicked. I had fallen. Where had I fallen from? Why did I fall? Did I fall on something? Questions racked my mind until it was all I could hear. Question after question, my ears feeling as if they were going to burst. It had been so quiet before, why isn't it quiet anymore? "Why isn't it quiet?" I asked myself, but I couldn't hear it. I knew I had said the words, I just couldn't hear them. The questions were to loud. I wanted them to be quiet, I needed them to be quiet. "Quiet...quiet...I need quiet." I began to feel invisible walls closing around me, trapping me with my thoughts. "No, no! Quiet!" 'Where am I?' 'Am I alone?' 'Can I leave?' "Quiet! BE QUIET!" I screamed out, and I heard it. I heard my voice. No longer harsh, but scared and fragile. And the voices stopped, one by one. Until one question was left. "Am I dead?" My eyes flung open. The white I was used to was gone, replaced by multiple colors and items. The were so vaguely familiar. I stepped forward and the sound of wood creaking echoed through the room. That sound, I had heard it before. Many times. Turning in place I spotted walls, a couch, lights, paintings, pictures- I paused, and a table. It was a dark oak, but how did I know? I'd never seen it before, or had I? Though it wasn't the table that struck me, it was the envelope placed on it.  I went to grab it, but the sound of footsteps made me draw away. I quickly searched for a place to hide. This wasn't my house, what will the owner do when they find me in their home? One could only imagine. Making a desperate escape to behind the couch I placed my back to the fabric as voices entered the room.

"I'm just saying you should talk to his parents before deciding stuff like this."

"What parents? He hasn't- hadn't talked to them in years." The second voice cause a pang in my chest. But why? I held my breath as they continued. "So they don't know he is- you know."

  "No. They don't. Can you leave now? Please, I need time alone."

  "Of course, I'm sorry for everything you are going through. He was an amaz-"

"Please get out Jackson!"

  Jackson? I had heard that name before. The image of a blond male came to mind, then the same male with brown hair. We had laughed together, and talked, but we were never alone. There were many people with us. Who? These blurred faces I'm missing, who are they? As the door to the house shut I heard a sigh escape the person's lips. They sat down on the couch, and only seconds later I could heard small whimpers. Lifting my head up a bit I was greeted with the back view of a blonds head. His shoulders were shaking, head in his hands. I suddenly felt the need to comfort him, without reason. Before I could change my mind I walked to the front of the couch and kneeled in front of him,"Excuse me sir? Why are you crying?" The man didn't answer, only continued sobbing. The action caused my own pain, even if I didn't know the reason,"Sir?" I reached out and went to place my hand on his shoulder. As I tried to pat him in reassurance my hand went right through his skin. A gasp escaped my lips at the motion. In disbelief I ran my hand back through his skin, and once again he didn't feel a thing. As if I wasn't there. My eyes widened, voice harsh once again as I spoke. "I'm dead."

"I'm dead." I repeated, hands held in front of my face. "How? Why" my feet carried my backwards until I hit the wall. In an instant I was crumbling against it. "Im dead. Gone, forever."

My hands feel to my sides as I blankly stared ahead of me. Feeling lost. The man on the couch was now right across from me, still crying. My lips formed a frown. "Why are you crying sir?" When he didn't answer I smacked myself. "Idiot you are dead.......wait." Standing up I looked down at myself. Fully clothed, clean. "What am I doing here?"

"Jinyoung." My head snapped back to the man as he got off the couch. "What did you say?" I instinctively replied without thought. Wait, why did I say that? Who is Jinyoung? My curiosity has been activated. I swiftly made my way to the man's side, following his steps as he made his way over to the table.

The rectangular object lifted off the wood and into the man's hands. He began to mutter while opening it. "Jinyoung.... left...... why..." confused I tried to peer over his shoulder. A strange heat hit my skin. I immediately stepped back, the heat disappearing. "What the hell?"

Shaking off the peculiar feeling I cautiously went back to the man's side. He had fallen silent, eyes traveling over the paper. Seeing the words from his side, it was the same letter I had found earlier. Hold on, how do I know this? I don't remember finding a letter earlier, yet I know the one in front of me from reading it before. An idea appeared in my head, but I quickly dismissed it. "That's impossible." I muttered to myself. "I couldn't have written it."

The man seemed to have finished the letter as he angrily crumbled it, throwing it to the ground. I got a sudden sense that the action had happened before. Ignoring all my suspicions I was suddenly torn between watching the man and going to check the letter. Why was it such a hard decision? I didn't even know the man. Without another thought I picked up the letter, un crumbling it. As soon as my eyes landed on the second word the letter was out of my hands and on the floor. Memories raced in front of my eyes. Chats on a table in the back corner of a cafe. Being pulled down the street as they pointed at multiple shops, begging to go in. Laying across the couch on top of them, giggling while throwing potato chips at their face. The fake anger as they tackled me just to tickle me until I cried from laughing. The real anger of our first fight. The passion of our first kiss, of our first time. The tears shed as I spilled all my secrets, and some of my blood. The hugs and comforting words. The love. Our love.

  Dear Mark.

Tears had filled my eyes as I blinked back the memories. There were so many of them, so many emotions. And then there was the memory I didn't want to remember. The day I had decided the world didn't need me. I looked at the man who seemed so big at first, he now looked so small as he curled up against the pillows on his bed. And when I looked at him, I knew his name. It was Mark, he was Mark. My Mark. Standing in the door frame I watched him toss and turn, unable to sleep. Unconsciously reaching for the other side of the bed, but not passing the line that divided the sides. The pain on his face when his hand reached empty space. I wanted to cry out 'Mark! I'm here and I love you! If I could I would take it all back!' But he wouldn't hear me, no matter how loud I screamed, no matter how many tears shed. A lot like the ones being shed right now. I couldn't tell if it was sadness, anger, or both as I wiped them away. Pushing off the door I moved to my side of the bed, looking as untouched as ever. Sighing I climbed under the covers, the covers that went right through me. My lips pressed together tightly. I will not cry, I will not cry. Moving on my side Mark and I laid face to face. His eyes were closed, his breathing steady. He is breathing, he is alive. That was enough.

  Lifting my hand I drew it over his cheek, holding it up so it didn't slip through his skin. "What I would give to hold you one more time." I whispered, Marks hair moved with my breath. But that was impossible, so I must have imagined it. "Mark, it's me, Jinyoung. I just wanted to tell you I love you. I'm so sorry for leaving you-" Mark's eyes shot open unexpectedly, his body sitting up at record speed. "Jinyoung?"

My own body moved to mirror his. "Mark?" A smile began to appear on my face at the astonished look on his. The action soon fell as he shook his head. "It's been three days and I'm already hearing things." His fists clenched at the edge of his blanket as he pulled it up to his chin. "I won't cry again. Mark you won't cry. Remember what Jackson said, tears dont help anyone."

My mouth fell open when he began to sleep again. "No! Mark, Mark it's me! It's Jinyoung I'm here! I'm right here!" Mark placed his hands over his ears. "Mark please listen to me!" I cried out. "I'm right here! And I won't leave you, I promise."

As if someone had switched clips in a movie I was suddenly in a different room. My body tensed at the unfamiliar furniture. I couldn't spot anything from Mark's house. "No, no, no! I'm suppose to be with Mark. I can't leave him, not again!" Two figures stood over a kitchen counter as they spoke in hushed tones. My cries went quiet when I strained to hear. "And he said that Jinyoung's parents had nothing to do with his life after he turned eighteen." Without knowing the topic they were talking about I found myself muttering angrily. "It's the truth." Not that my contribution would make a difference. The blond haired guy, Jackson, was talking with a taller male with a slim build. The taller males head snapped in my direction with wide eyes. "Jackson did you hear that?" The male had dark eye bags, and for some reason I expected him to have covered them with makeup, but what did I know about this person?

Jackson stared in my direction worriedly. "BamBam are you sure you are feeling well enough to be out of bed?" BamBam, I know that name. New memories entered my mind. A bunch of shopping, and sleepovers. Childhood memories of makeshift fashion shows and letting him dress me everyday for a year in elementary school. But that was BamBam, and him not covering eye bags with makeup was something to worry about in itself. BamBam sniffled. "I'm perfectly fine. It's just a cold." Jackson moved closer to the other male with a frown. "The cold wasn't what I was talking about. I know you have been more depressed lately. Have you been taking your medicine?" That's right, BamBam and I bonded as kids because we both suffered from depression. BamBam had never been good at taking his medicine. The stubborn look in his eye returned as tears came with it. "Medicine can't help me! Only Jinyoung can! He knew what it felt like, he understood me. More than anyone. And- and-" BamBam began to fall, Jackson rushed forward to catch him in his arms. "-he was my best friend!" Bam cried out. I found myself sharing his pain. "And I still am."

The room stripped away to be replaced by yet again another house. I was placed in a living room with four chairs and a couch. Feeling exhausted from the last two houses I took it upon myself to sit down and wait for whatever emotional train wreck will be next. Stomping sounds from above me made me look up. Without even thinking I knew it was a two story house. I had never been here, but then again I probably have with everything that has happened lately.

"Jaebum! At least try to keep this house clean!"

"It's not my fault you can't clean correctly the first time."

"Did you just say that?"

  The stomps and voices grew louder, two people making their way down the stairs and into the living room.

"Yes, maybe you need a hearing aid if you can't hear me correctly the first time."

"What is wrong with you today Jaebum?"

   Jaebum? I let the memories flood me. Jaebum had been my friend since high school. Wasn't the best at showing emotions so he usually showed it with anger. I took a guess that, that was happening now.

  "What's wrong with me? Me? Nothing is wrong with me. It's you that something is wrong with, Youngjae."

  Youngjae, Jaebum's roommate and boyfriend. Youngjae is usually so gentle, what has got him so worked up?

"You are blaming me? For your mess? Is this about the house or about Ji-"

"Don't you dare say his name!" Jb snapped, taking a step forward. Youngjae quickly moved back, grabbing something off the counter. The object clicked in his hands as he walked out of the living room without a word. Jb's face crumbled from anger to misery as he followed. Taking advantage of death I skipped the now shut door and took a shortcut through the walls. Now at the front door Youngjae tugged on his coat. Jb entered the hall, looking lost. "Where are you going?"

  Youngjae seemed taken aback by the concern in his tone. His own expression softened. "I need to get out of this house. Right now we just need a break from each other."  Jaebum appeared physically wounded from the sentence but gave a small nod.

"Just, Youngjae?"

"Yes?"

  "You're right. It's about him."

  Youngjae gave a thin smile. "The last thing Jinyoung would want, is for everyone else to feel how he felt when he choose to take his life." And with that the door shut.

I had no time to react as I was pulled away from the house. I tried to shout out but I had no way of knowing if they heard me. The last place I appeared was a park. The park. Getting up from the bench I had been placed on I held my breath at the sight of the tree. I had chosen one near the swing set where I played the most as a child. I'd swing high, and jump just to feel the thrill of the fall. If only I'd known death was not a thrill. A some what familiar face sat on the swing set now. Pushing his legs back and forth to go higher and higher. I didn't need someone to scream out his name to know what it was. "Yugyeom." I breathed. The youngest of my friends, the one who liked to bother me when I'd be busy with work. Or who constantly asked for help with his homework because 'math just doesn't make sense'. All those times I had been annoyed, but I wasn't anymore. I was grateful that he came to me for help, and now here he is. Alone, at the location I had died. Tears falling as he jumped from the swing and let himself fall to his knees on the grass. "Jinyoung.....everything is falling apart. Everyone is falling apart. We always fight, we never hang out. We never smile. We need you, and you left us. You wanted to leave us, you weren't taken. You LEFT. What did we do? What went wrong?" Yugyeom pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "I got your letter." He hiccuped, moving to curl beside the tree. "You said it's not my fault. Well then why does it still feel like it is? I could have done something! I could have saved you, in some way...."

Kneeling beside him I closed my eyes. "My dear Yugyeom, I'm so sorry I left you. I would turn back the clock if I could. But I can't, and all of this pain, it's all my fault. Everything is a mess because of me. I shouldn't have done it, and I'm so sorry-" My voice broke off in the end. I opened my eyes to watch Yugyeom, but he wasn't there. Nothing was, nothing but white. My eye kids ached from the crying, but it didn't stop the tears. "No, please, take me back." I cried out to whoever was willing to listen. "I need more time! I wasn't done!" I ran and ran to find some way back. Nothing, just white. Falling to my knees I felt my eyelids give up and fall closed. "I need....more....time...."

  The next time I woke, it was in Mark's bed.

-------

Welcome to part 1 of a short story! I've been running out of ideas for my one shot book (hence why I haven't been updating) but I'll be trying to focus more on this book!

ALSO! If you guys have any type of one shot you'd like to see, PLEASE TELL ME! Comment, pm me, anything you want. I'm writing this for you guys so don't hold back requests! If anything I need more requests XD

I'll be trying to post a one-shot at least once a month while I'm still working on my book bandits (I update every Sunday)

And how do yall like the new book cover I made???