WARNING! Mentions suicide, cutting, anorexia. Read at your own risk.

Maybe I was lucky. After all, not many people survive six suicide attempts. But I didn't feel lucky. I just felt like a failure. Mark deserved a better best friend than me.

I've known Mark ever since I was four years old. I've been in love with him ever since I was six. Watching him, knowing he'll never care about me like that, kills.

"Mark?" "Yeah, Y/N" "Come here." Mark comes into the room and stops. "Why are you just in your underwear?" He says. I can see in the mirror, he is blushing. I would be too, but I'm too depressed to be embarrassed.

"Mark, am I pretty?" I say, trying to keep the tears from pouring. "Why?" He asks. "I just thought, since we have been friends for so long, that you might be able to tell me. You'd know, better than anyone."

"No, I mean why do you need to ask? is it up for debate?" He says, standing beside me, looking into the mirror. I almost laugh at his cluelessness. "Because I don't see it" I reply. "I'm so fat, look at all my scars, I could never be deemed beautiful. I'm so worthless."

His eyes water. "Y/N, you're anorexic. I hear you throw up all the time. I have never seen you eat a full meal. There is no way you are fat. As for the scars, you've been clean for almost a year. You... How can you not see it? How can you not say you are pretty?"

"Look at all of your beautiful fans. Everyday women ten times more beautiful than me throw themselves at you. How can I ever compare to someone like that."

"They aren't like you. Their eyes don't shine when they see a baby, they can't make sugar cookies like you, they're not like you. You are so much better than them."

He takes my hands and holds them. He is shaking. "I...don't want to spoil this, our friendship, we've spent over twenty years developing it, but I can't hold back any longer. I can't go another second letting you believe that you are worthless."

He pulls me close and leans in do our noses are almost touching. "I love you. All those times you were in the hospital, and I didn't know if you were going to survive, I said "I'll tell her." And I didn't, because I was a coward. You know me like no one else. You were by my side before I even was thinking about a YouTube channel, let alone being famous."

I close my eyes and rest my head on his chest. "I didn't believe that it was possible for me to be loved. I didn't believe that I was worth love.  I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I've spent these years wasting away. No more."

I look him in the eye, tears rushing down my face. "Please don't hurt me." He looks at me with tears in his eyes and says, "Never. I could never hurt you." He leans in and out lips meet in what feels like a shower of sparks.

I slip into a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. "Let's go." I say, pulling him towards the door. "Y/N?" "Yeah?" "I love you, because you are my number one fan."

I grin and wrap my arms around his neck."I love you, because you're mine too."

"I SHIP IT!!!!!" Ryan yells, coming into the room. I flip him off and kiss mark on the cheek, sitting down on the couch. Mark sits next to me and I look at him.

"Mario Kart?" "Mario Kart."

There you go, my first Markiplier one shot!!!! Yay!! Requests are open,  so yeah. My YouTube channel is Little Miss Crybaby, I make video edits, post covers of songs, please check it out!