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Chapter 03 | She's Gone, He's Gone

Sup, hope you guys like this update. This is the last chapter Izuku is referred to as Izumi so that's a fun time, because you guys have no idea how hard it was for me to write Izumi. I had to keep going back and changing ku to mi every few minutes. I also did this instead of studying for exams lol. Anyway, enjoy.

CW: Coming out, unsafe binding, mentions of systemised transphobia (sterilisation), accidental outing, death, Shindou being gross, deadnaming, grief, general uncomfy questions about being trans.

Izumi met Bakugou, Iida, Uraraka, and Shinsou in her second year of the summer camp. All four were in her class – the Advanced Hero Course. It wasn't essential to get into UA, but it was damn near it. She had met Bakugou before, though she didn't notice until they began to hang out a bit more. He was in her high school – another class. Uraraka and Iida were both from different districts to her.

One day, she noticed Bakugou's binder when his shirt became a bit displaced after training. "What's that?"

Bakugou yanked his shirt back into place. "None of your fucking business, nerd."

Izumi was used to that. Of course she was – it was how Bakugou reacted to everyone, even at school. So instead, she asked Uraraka and Iida after class – at a sports activity. It was a mix of soccer and frisbee, and though they all could have used the agility training, they were too tired, so they sat on the grass and talked. Bakugou and Shinsou had gone to do something else.

"Bakugou had a weird undershirt on today when we were training. It just looked really tight – do you know what it is?"

They both started. Then Iida pulled the neck of his t-shirt out to reveal a similar one. "Was it like this?"

Izumi nodded. "Yeah, but it was black instead of white."

Uraraka shook her head. "Damn it, he's not meant to wear his binder when he's training."

"Binder?" Izumi tilted her head.

"Bakugou's trans," Uraraka replied. "So are we. You knew that, right?"

"I-" Izumi frowned for a moment.

"Shit, I didn't just out Bakugou, did I? Fuck, he's going to kill me," Uraraka moaned, hiding her face in her hands.

Then Izumi's frown cleared. That was the thing with Caitlyn Jenner. She'd seen it on the news the day the camp started and hadn't understood the problem with any of it. "Oh! So... wait, okay... You're a woman... who was born a man?"

Uraraka grimaced, and Iida swung his hand down like a knife. "Midoriya! That's not the correct way to deal with this!"

If she hadn't known him for a week, Izumi would have been scared, but that was just how Iida reacted to things. "Sorry. I... haven't come across many trans people before. Not that were out to me, at least."

Uraraka shook her head. "It's fine, Midoriya. It's just... okay, so being transgender isn't a choice. It's because of our brains. I have the same brain matter as a non-trans woman, and Iida and Bakugou have the same brain matter as a non-trans man. So my brain doesn't work with testosterone, and it causes a thing called gender dysphoria. Are you following so far?"

"I think so." Izumi nodded. "Actually hold on." She reached into her bag and pulled out her notebook, flicking to a blank page. She scribbled down what Uraraka had already said, and then looked up. "Okay, got it."

Uraraka smiled. Whether it was amusement or some kind of gratitude that Izumi was taking this seriously, Izumi didn't know. "Okay, so because of the brain thing, I was technically born a woman, and Bakugou and Iida were born men. But the doctor looked at us and decided I was a man and they were women. So it's called assigned male at birth or assigned female at birth because it was assigned to us. Do you understand?"

Izumi nodded, not looking up from her notebook. "Okay, yeah. So Uraraka, you're assigned male at birth, and Iida and Bakugou are assigned female at birth?"

Uraraka nodded. "Exactly."

"Is Shinsou-?"

"No, he's not trans."

"Okay." Izumi nodded. "When did you find out you were a girl?"

Uraraka chewed her lip. "I was twelve."

"What about you, Iida?"

"Last year."

Izumi faltered and looked up at him. "But you're nearly sixteen."

Iida nodded. "Yes. My parents were always very supportive of me following my interests, and I didn't realise that what I was feeling was gender dysphoria until I began to research it more."

Izumi nodded slowly. "So... you don't need to know since you were a child?"

"Gods no." Uraraka shook her head. "Most people don't. It's when we look back on things that we realise it might have been a sign. Like I hated going to the bathroom so much that I'd avoid it until I got home, and I'd never stand to go. I thought I just didn't like going in public."

Iida picked his glasses off his nose and examined them before cleaning them with a cloth he produced from his jeans. "I used to want to be in the Boys' Club in elementary school all the time," he said. "I thought it was because I wanted to be like my brother, but I've been thinking maybe not."

Izumi nodded again, a touch more slowly. "Okay. That makes sense." She added a few more notes. "So what's a binder?"

"A binder is used to bind chests," Iida replied, "to give the appearance of not having breasts. It's safer than bandages or tape, but you're not meant to wear it for more than eight hours or to exercise in it."

"Both of which Bakugou does." Uraraka rolled her eyes.

"Oh." Izumi hesitated and her eyes flickered to Uraraka. "So do you wear a padded bra?"

Uraraka nodded. "And breast forms. They're exactly what they sound like. They're just kind of... lumps of soft plastic that you use to make your chest bigger."

"Okay, so none of you have had top surgery?"

"Gods no." Uraraka shook her head. "I've only just been sterilised."

"Wait, what?" Izumi jerked up. "Sterilised?"

"Yeah. Trans people need to get sterilised in Japan before we can do anything. Even changing our gender marker." Uraraka shook her head. "A name is the only thing you can change."

"So you've done that?"

"Yup."

"Iida?"

"Not yet." Iida shook his head. "I will soon. I want to make sure Tenya is the right name first, and I need to get used to it more."

"So you weren't... automatically used to it."

"Of course not." Iida adjusted how he was sitting so that he was cross-legged and his hands were in his lap. "I went by my deadname for fourteen years. It takes a while to get used to that."

Izumi hummed and nodded, scribbling that bit of information down as well. "Okay. So neither of you have medically transitioned in any way yet?" They both shook their heads. "Okay. If it helps, I thought you were both non-trans." Her face wrinkled. "Is there a term for that?"

"It's cisgender." Uraraka grinned. "And thank you."

"So can you tell me more about the binding?"

Later, when Uraraka started yelling at Bakugou about wearing his binder during training, Izumi joined her.

"So, um..." Izumi fidgeted in her seat. Uraraka and Shinsou looked up from their phones, and Iida from his book. Bakugou didn't, but he had heard. His hearing aids were on – Izumi could see the switch flipped up from the seat behind him on the bus. "I... how did you guys know you were trans?"

Uraraka and Iida exchanged a look. Bakugou scoffed. "I told people to call me Katsuki and he, and it worked. Now stop asking dumb questions, nerd."

Uraraka hit Bakugou's shoulder. "I realised that cis people don't constantly want the other genitals, and I started trying to find a girl's name I liked," she replied. "But yeah, I pretty much did the same as Bakugou, only I asked them to call me Ochako and she so I could see if it was more comfortable, and it was."

Iida nodded in agreement. "Me too."

"Okay." Izumi took a slow breath. "Well, I... um..." Izumi swallowed. "I think I might be trans?"

Bakugou's eyes flickered up.

"Okay." Uraraka smiled. "Do you want us to call you he to see how it feels?"

"Please." Izumi hesitated. "And... could you maybe call me Izuku? Just... Just to try it?"

"Of course." Iida nodded. "Thank you for trusting us."

Shinsou hummed. "Izuku suits you better," he decided. He reached up and pulled off the beanie he always wore – the one with his badges on it. "Here. This is yours now. You can push your hair up into it and out the front to make it look short."

"I- Thank you."

Bakugou muttered something under his breath, but it sounded less like an insult than his mutterings usually did.

Uraraka just smiled at Izuku as he pulled his new beanie on, and he smiled back.

In their third year of the camp, Izuku was finally in high school. He, Uraraka, Iida, and Bakugou all ended up in the same class at UA, and they kept up the summer camp. Shinsou ended up in the general hero studies class, but he was working his way up to a transfer. Mineta was in their class too, but he didn't bother with the camp, and Izuku was glad of it. They had been growing apart more recently, ever since Izuku had come out to him.

"I can't call you anything other than Izumi," he'd said. "It hurts too much."

The camp was good training over the break, and their placement in the high school assured them a scholarship for the three weeks. Otherwise, Uraraka wouldn't have been able to go for a third year.

Shindou was there again. The last year, Izuku had avoided him entirely. Never spoken to him at all. That year, he did his best to do the same, but always seemed to be in the same places. Whenever Shindou walked by him, he'd always hold up his hand. "Hey, Izumi!"

It was nine months since he'd come out to his friends, and Izuku still couldn't correct him, so he just hesitantly raised his hand and the wave. Shinsou glared after Shindou as he left and muttered something about hating that their names were so close.

Then Camie's dad died.

Inko had called Izuku about it when he was in line to the canteen, waiting to get food. Uraraka and Shinsou had gone to get pizza, and Iida and Bakugou were going to be going back to class soon. They had picked a different course that year.

Izuku knew what it was before he even picked up. They had a set schedule for calling now that he was at the summer camp and moving into the dorms – morning before class, evening before activities, and night before bed.

"He's gone," he whispered as soon as he picked up. "Isn't he?"

"Yes." His mom sounded teary. "It was very peaceful. He went in his sleep, and his family was all there while it happened."

Izuku squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't cry. Not out here. Big boys don't cry. Big boys don't cry. He kicked the edge of a nearby bin and it fell over. "Shit!"

"Izuku-"

"I-I-I-" Izuku sniffed. "I'm gonna go find a way to get home. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you later."

Izuku hung up and buried his face in his hands. Shit. People were staring at him, but he couldn't even be bothered by that. He turned on his phone again and rang Bakugou. His was the first number to come up, and even with his insults and the fact that Izuku knew him for the same amount of time as Uraraka and Iida, Bakugou had been with him in elementary and middle school. He'd been the first person Bakugou told about going deaf, and Bakugou had been the first one Izuku told about being autistic.

"What the fuck do you want, Deku?" Bakugou snapped as he picked up. "Glasses and I are on our way back to class."

"Kacchan I-I-I-" Izuku choked back a sob. "I need- I- I need you-"

"Where are you?" His tone was instantly serious.

"The- The- At- At the c- the canteen-"

"Which entrance?"

"Front."

"Wait there."

The tone sounded and Izuku leaned against the wall. He looked up at the sky so he wouldn't have to look at anything else, head leaning against the wall. His hair was still long and caught on the brick wall. He had only come out to his mom and class.

Bakugou appeared around the corner a few moments later without Iida, and Izuku lunged to throw his arms around him. Bakugou caught him and held him tightly. "What's happened?"

Izuku shook his head, burying his face in Bakugou's shoulder.

"Is it your friend's dad?"

Izuku nodded and Bakugou held him tighter. "Come on, Izuku," he mumbled. "Let's go to the RA's office."

Izuku nodded but still clung to Bakugou's arm as he was led around the canteen to the side office. Inside, the RAs gave him tea and tissues, and one just sat with him and Bakugou and watched three Pokémon episodes with them to calm Izuku down.

When Aizawa arrived, they stopped, and Bakugou went with him and Izuku into town to get a haircut and a suit, and then Aizawa brought him to Camie's house.

Camie hugged him once he arrived. He only had his suit, but it didn't matter. The cremation was the next day. His mom got to him next, and Inko stepped back afterwards to run a hand through Izuku's now-short hair. A shaky smile spread across her face. "It suits you," she murmured.

Izuku's eyes burned, and he hugged her again.

When he went back to the summer camp two days later, Uraraka and Iida were on him in an instant. Neither asked what had happened or if he was okay. They already knew. But they were both eager to help by distracting him. Shinsou too, though he tried to do it with video games and funny cat videos more than talking or activity. Bakugou just treated him like normal, which was probably the easiest. At least he knew how to deal with Bakugou's normalcy.

Class went on like normal. He, Shinsou and Uraraka were doing a Rescue course under Thirteen. They were a fantastic rescue hero, and though Uraraka was turning more towards becoming a hero to fight villains and Izuku didn't have a choice until All For One was defeated, it was still good to have a broad knowledge of hero skills.

Shindou was in a different course. Izuku didn't know what. But one evening, they were in the same activity, and Shindou did a double take when Izuku replied to the name Midoriya Izuku on the role call. He had gotten his name changed on the school records once he got back. It was all he could really do yet, but the administration did their best to help him. He would go back to UA after the break as Izuku too.

Shindou didn't talk to him for the rest of the camp.

Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know what you think.

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