30. Road Trip

"You know, the only reason you're up there, Metatron, is so we can have both eyes on you at all times," I say from Cas's backseat. I'm sprawled out, no seat belt, back resting against the inside of the car door. "It's not because you demanded it."

"Our flashback playback continues with a song that climbed all the way to number four on the charts," says the radio. "Here's Alanis Morissette's 'Ironic.'"

The radio is cut off, Cas shuts it off.

"Really?" asks Metatron. "That song is a classic. Yeah I hear you. I do. And you're right. Inclement weather on the day of your nuptials and the wrong cutlery at inopportune times is hardly ironic. But it sure is catchy. Yeah, fair point. Can't argue taste. But since I became human, it's just so...strange. All these feelings, you know? I mean, I can feel music. Like that last song, 'Sussudio.' I don't even know what it's about and I love it. I always enjoyed lyrics, words, stories. Gives me goose bumps. And Goosebumps—don't even get me started on those. Creepy! And yet...arousing."

I roll my eyes, pulling out my phone, and dial Sam's number.

"Jo?"

"Hey, little brother. Quick question: can I just kill him now?"

"You know I can hear you, right?" asks Metatron from upfront.

"Shh! I'm on the phone. Mind your own business."

"I would if you weren't so close to me."

"Fine, then tuck and roll out of the damn car for all I care. See how well you hold up against high speeds and concrete road."

"No, we need him alive for now," Sam says once he finds silence to fill. "Look, after he gives Cas his Grace back, you can do whatever you want with him."

"Well, I'd like to kill him slowly. Maybe save scraps for Cas to take his turn with."

"I am, like, two feet from you," Metatron complains.

I sigh. "Anything on the Mark of Cain?"

"Every word—crystal clear."

"No," Sam replies. "I mean, I've been digging for something, for anything, but...I don't know, Jo."

"There's an answer out there. We'll find a cure for Dean." I bite down on my thumbnail. "Speaking of Dean, how'd he take my story?"

"He bought it. I think he's caught up with himself to not suspect much."

"I don't know why you'd want to cure that little firecracker now," Metatron says, and I frown. "He's finally interest—" I see Cas's fist strike Metatron. "Ow!"

"Well, just keeping digging." I scratch my head.

"Yeah, uh, no one here by that name," Sam says suddenly. "Sorry."

"Wait! Sam?" I look at my phone. Dean must be around.

"Lose reception?" Metatron asks. "Or did he hang up on you?" He and I exchange a look, and he begins to laugh. "He hung up on you, didn't he?"

"Thank you, Cas," I say as the angel strikes Metatron again in the face. "Be thankful you're not back here with me, Metatron. I'd be way worse with you."

"You know, I don't get why you're joining the ride. Shouldn't you be trying to uselessly help Sam try to save your hopeless brother?"

My hands go into fists. "Trust me, I have my reasons."

When we reach daylight, Metatron complains about how he's starving. I press Cas to keep going, but then of course Metatron has to bargain for food by threatening to not show us to Cas's Grace. Cas and I have no choice but to stop the car at a diner just so Metatron can stuff his face. Maybe if we're lucky, he'll choke.

Oh, wait. Damn. We need him alive.

Cas and I sit uncomfortably together in a booth, watching as Metatron stuffs his face with waffles, topped with whipped cream, strawberries, and blueberries. He reminds me of Cas when he was human. At least when Cas was human it looked attractive. Metatron looks the furthest thing from attractive.

"Oh. Food. Glorious food," Metatron hums. "Mmm. All the countless descriptions in so many books, but those are just words. Oh, the taste, the—the actual taste...I had no idea. Oh. And the process. Goes in here"—he points to his mouth—"comes out here." He points towards his ass. "Sorcery. I mean, you used to be human. Don't you miss all this?"

"No," Cas says with an edge in his voice. "I don't miss digestion. I don't miss indigestion."

"No, no, no. Not that. I mean, don't you miss the feeling of all this? Like the taste of these waffles. The sound of a child's laughter. Look at us. We're a couple of angels who've touched not only the divine, but the mundane. You and I have a lot in common."

"Don't."

"What? I thought we were having a moment. Can't we be besties?"

"No. Because you killed my friend, and Josette."

"Oh pft. Dean is fine, mostly. And look, Josette is right here next to you! Yeah, she's not human anymore, but she's at your side! Can't you get past that?"

"Never." And I find myself saying that the same time that Cas does.

"Besides, what's with this anyway?" Metatron points his fork at Cas and me.

"You really want to risk asking that question again?" I ask.

"Sorry, I couldn't help but notice it. I couldn't notice it much when you were still human, but now that you two are together a lot more..."

I clear my throat. "We've hit three of your so-called safe houses, and all of them are empty. So either you've lost Cas's Grace or you're stalling."

"Can you blame me? The minute I hand over his Grace, I'm dead."

"You have made your bed, Metatron, and nothing is going to get you out of it," says Cas. I look at Metatron as I hear his stomach. "What are you doing?"

"I think I need to use the little boys' room." He holds up his handcuffed hands. "Little help."

"I won't leave," I tell Cas, tapping my foot against the floor as he escorts Metatron to the bathroom like a little kid. I look at what's left of Metatron's breakfast. I can spit on it, he probably wouldn't notice the difference.

I look around, noticing one of the diner's occupants leave. Normally, I'd write it off as nothing. But it's not every day your average customer walks out with an angel blade. Rising slowly, I shuffle out of the booth, slowly tailing the angel.

"Josette?"

I spin around to find Cas has returned with Metatron from their bathroom trip. I wrinkle my nose at a smell. "Do I want to know?"

"It's best if you don't. We're done here, we need to get back out on the road."

I nod.

"Sorry about the mess," Metatron says as we're outside. "I guess I'm lactose intolerant."

"Let's never speak of it again."

Ahead, leaning against Cas's car, is the angel I'd seen leaving the diner just minutes ago. Already, my hair is standing on end.

"Metatron and Castiel," says the angel. "This really must be my lucky day. Two birds, one blade." The blade is back out, pulled out from the denim jacket.

"Who are you?" I demand.

"Just a cupid. Just an angry, angry cupid. My business isn't with you, demon."

I scoff. "Might as well be, asshole."

"I understand why you're upset," says Cas.

"You both corrupted Heaven," says the cupid. "It's never gonna be the same!"

I move Metatron out of the picture as Cas engages the angry cupid. I keep a firm grip on the Scribe to make sure he doesn't try and run off. Cas knocks the cupid's blade out of his hand. In turn, Cas's blade is knocked out of his hand. Metatron yanks himself away from me, grabs one of the weapons, and just as the cupid is about ready to stab Cas, Metatron shoves a blade into the cupid's back.

I pull Cas to his feet, picking up his blade. Metatron hands over the cupid's blade to me.

"I owed you that one, anyway, since Buffy here didn't seem to want to get her hands dirty," Metatron says.

"This changes nothing," I say.

"You're welcome."

"Just come on." I push Metatron after Cas.

After our incident in the diner, we arrive at our supposed destination. A library.

"Oh, come on," says Cas as we enter the dark building. "You expect me to believe that you hid my Grace in a library?"

"Nobody goes to libraries anymore. It's the safest place in the world."

I flick on the lights. "So, where is it?"

"I can feel my Grace," Cas murmurs. "It's here, but you've hidden it somehow. Where is it?"

"Honestly, I have no idea," says Metatron. Not feeling the joking atmosphere, I shove Metatron into the nearest chair, squeezing the gunshot wound on his leg. "You know, in case someone tries to torture the information out of me! Case in point!"

"Where's his Grace?" I snarl.

"I told the angel to hide some clues in some of my favorite books." He holds up his handcuffed wrists. "Mother, may I?"

"Let him," Cas tells me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I back off, letting Metatron limp to one of the shelves, pulling out a book. Cas takes the book, opening it, and removes a note. I look over his shoulder. "'What is the maddest thing a man can do?' It's a riddle? What—what's the answer?"

"Beats me. I've only been a man a day. Um, the—the answer to the riddle will lead to another book. And inside that book, you'll find your Grace. We're gonna work this out together, okay? Teamwork."

"We'll take aisles then," I suggest.

Even though I should stick near Metatron, I follow behind Cas as we skim through book titles in silence. Metatron is just on the other side of the shelf we're investigating.

"You know, we really do make a good team. Kind of like a buddy comedy, without the comedy."

"Or the buddies," Cas comments.

"Oh now, come on. Back at the diner, that was some pretty awesome dynamic-duo action."

"What we did back there was unfortunate. No more of our brothers and sisters should die."

"Brothers and sisters? Listen to you. Still spitting out the company line like anyone cares. Like we're actually a family? When what we really are—are a bunch of glowing lights filled with self-loathing or delusions of grandeur. Or both."

"Ugh, shut up!" I groan.

"No! If I'm gonna die, I want answers. Like, who are you now? Like, you're obviously not an Angel of the Lord. And what about all of this walking the earth like Caine from 'Kung Fu' crap? Cleaning up Heaven's messes. How many more rogue angels are there out there? And, what are you gonna do once you're done with all that? Go back to Heaven? Please. The angel formerly known as Hannah has restored order up top. Smoothest it's run since God cut the ribbon on the pearly gates. So tell me, Castiel, truly, what is your mission now?"

"You shut up and keep looking," is Cas's response.

"Well...Cannot say I didn't try."

"Cas!" I panic, as Cas goes down, coughing. "Shit. Metatron!"

"Poor Castiel," Metatron simpers. He's in our aisle now, and I'm torn between staying by Cas's side or lunging for Metatron to rip his throat out. "Swam so far just to drown in shallow waters. Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think? Oh, and, I didn't forget about you, either, Josette."

I cry out, feeling a sharp pain in my chest. I fall to my knees beside Cas, showing Metatron my black eyes. "You...son of a bitch."

"I can see why you like her, Castiel. She's got a lot of fire. A lot of resilience in her. And that dark side. All right...First things first—find what I really came here for." Metatron takes a book out, taking out another note. "'What two things do you need to succeed in life?' Ignorance and confidence."

"They're quotes," I rasp, looking at the first note Cas has.

"So, uh...did you and Samateur hour really think I wouldn't have a back-up plan?"

"That way," I urge Cas. He and I crawl to another aisle, and we search for another book.

"Ah. Hello Demon Tablet," I hear Metatron say. Cas grabs a book, and we both see a container of his Grace fall out. "The places I'll go with this. And your Grace." Metatron is once again in the same aisle as us. "Well, one out of two ain't bad."

"Damn it!" I bellow, rolling onto my back from the pain in my chest.

"What's the maddest thing a man can do?" I hear Cas whisper. "Let himself die."

I cover my ears, hearing a high-pitched noise. I roll onto my side, seeing Cas stand up at his full height now. Light emanates from him, and it glows on the back wall of the library. My mouth parts. His wings...they're...they're...

Battered. Feathers are missing. They look so damaged.

"Easy, Josette, easy." Cas hovers over me.

"I'm gonna kill that fucking weasel," I rasp. Cas helps me sit up. Metatron has long flown the coop. "You're...you're back? All good? Full power?"

As proof, he kisses me tiredly. "As full power as I can be."

"Good to have you back, Cas."

**Metadouche, man *shakes head*. 

Ah well, at least we got some Cassette in, which was so awesome to write. So now, Cas is back in town, powered up, with his demon girlfriend at his side.

Talk about taboo, right?**