Amelia

"Happy birthday, sweetheart!" my Father chanted excitedly as I entered the room, my school bag slung over my shoulder loosely.

"Thanks, Dad," I said shortly, watching as he hurried over to me and took me in his arms, holding me close.

"I can't believe you're nineteen," he gushed. "I'm just so happy you're here with us. When your Mother and I were in that waiting room at the hospital, we thought there was a chance we wouldn't get to see you grow any older."

My Dad spoke so casually, his tone was almost stale. It blew my mind that he thought my birthday was the right time to talk about my suicide attempt in passing. His words proved to me that he did not take it seriously, and all he and my Mother thought of was themselves.

They thought they would never get to see me grow older. They thought they were going to lose their daughter. They would be so devastated to lose me, though they were the ones who failed me along with the rules set in place in Moonstone that night. They would never get to watch me get married, or become grandparents had I passed away.

Well, the last one was still very true and real. They would never be grandparents, as of then. My older sister Zoey did not want children. She and her husband Kevin decided early on in their engagement that kids were not in the picture for them. Zoey was a career focused woman, and was studying to become a nurse practitioner at a university far more prestigious than the one I attended. I was their last hope, and I failed them. It was always about them, and never me. They liked to talk about the aftermath, and turn a blind eye to the root of the problem. The real problem.

"Yeah," I replied softly, shuffling to the kitchen to grab myself a chocolate chip muffin pack from the box. "Where's Mom?"

"Oh, she had to go into work early. Don't worry, we'll both be at your party tonight at Blake's. Is anyone else coming?"

I shifted awkwardly, remembering what took place at JP's house just days prior. "Um, another one of my friends."

"Oh?" my Father looked surprised, and I was a little offended by this though I could not blame him. Years passed by without the mention of any new friends.

"Yeah, Blake and I are both friends with him."

"Him?"

Dammit.

"Uh-huh," I answered, turning away from him and heading towards the front door, my escape route. "I should go, I'm gonna be late for my first class."

"Honey," my father said, stopping me dead in my tracks. "I don't want you to do anything that could possibly get you into anymore trouble than you already are in."

Peering over my shoulder, I parted my lips to speak. "I don't think it could get worse than this."

As I got off the train, I looked around the college campus and breathed in a breath of fresh air. It was only my fourth day back, and I was grateful for the fact that the staring from everyone subsided quickly.

"Hey, stranger," A familiar voice said, soon feeling a pair of strong arms around me. I nestled my face against Blake, enjoying the sweet gesture. After the morning with my Father that I had, I needed that warm hug. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you, Blake," I said sincerely, wiggling my way out of his tight hug. "You're the best."

"I know," Blake bragged. "And you'll be thinking that even more when you see what I got you tonight!"

"Oh, you didn't have to get me anything," I insisted, shaking my head back and forth. "You already give me the greatest gift everyday, putting up with my bullshit."

"Nothing you've ever done has been bullshit," Blake cooed, pulling me in for another hug and rubbing my back. "But you never told me how it went with JP the other day."

"There's not much to tell," I responded, since I was still unsure myself of what got into me that day. It was out of character for me to just show up and someone's house like that, the thought itself was anxiety inducing. For some odd reason, I was not intimidated by JP or his Aunt who I talked to at the front door, for that matter. They were approachable, JP especially.

"What did you two talk about? Come on, I want all the details!" Blake exclaimed, shaking me playfully in his arms. "Spit it out, Bridges." he treated me like I was indestructible at times, mostly when we were younger and he felt the need to try out all his new wrestling moves on me.

"Alright, alright," I agreed, pushing his hands away so that he would quit shaking me all around. "We just...I asked him about what happened back at the plaza, and he was a little shaken up. There's something about him Blake, and I don't know why I felt the need to check up on him, but I did."

"You mean there was no..." Blake made an obscene hand gesture, killing the serious moment and I gasped in surprise.

Darting my eyes in every direction, I felt my heart racing. Ever since my harrowing experience with David, I feared that he was everywhere, or some other official that would tell on me. Even though nothing happened between JP and I, officials liked to twist stories and I was an easy target. Blake was joking and I knew that, but it did not ease my nerves while we were in public.

"Blake!" I shouted, kicking him lightly in the shin.

He cried out, holding his shin. "Ouch!"

"Don't be dramatic, I didn't kick you that hard," I teased, walking ahead and into the school.

"You're lucky you're the birthday girl!" Blake called after me.

I smiled to myself, it soon fading when I entered the building where my first class was located. It was going to be a long day, just like every other. My class went by slow, it being two hours long. I nearly fell asleep, catching myself just as I was about to. Once class was dismissed, I went to my second which was only an hour.

After that, my school day was over and I was able to head home. On the train ride back to my neighborhood, I started to feel an emptiness in my chest. I knew it all too well, and I did not want to let it win. Not on my birthday. Not when Blake had gone through so much trouble to make a nice party for me out of the few people in my life.

As I reached home and laid down in bed, I contemplated skipping out on my party and just staying home. I tried to stay motivated and kept reminding myself that Blake really wanted me there. It was always hard to believe that someone enjoyed my company.

Did I really want to be around all those people tonight? Did Blake plan this as a pity party? A 'hey, we're glad you're not dead' party?

Alone in the house, I tried to distract myself by getting up from the bed and going into the kitchen to make myself some raspberry leaf tea.

I found that sometimes it did help calm me, it was one of the only things that Moonstone's government was too stupid to figure out. Tea helped with anxiety, and if they were to ever find out they'd probably take all of them out of stores. Anxiety was not real to them. Instead they called it fear or my personal favorite; lack of courage. In a way they were right, there was nothing encouraging about Moonstone's protocol towards mental illness.

Seating myself back on my bed with the tea I made, I sipped from my signature spotted mug. Scrunching my nose, I swallowed the heated tea. It did not taste very good, but it helped and that's all that mattered. I reached underneath my mattress, pulling out my journal. In that journal was every bad thought or emotion I felt for the past four years. I started writing in it after I was released from jail the first time.

Turning to one of the last free pages in the journal, I set my pen down on the page. Thinking deeply, for the first time in a long time my mind went blank. Though I was feeling things, I did not care to spill them out on the pages that day. Instead, I started to jot down ideas as to how I could change Moonstone.

I tried to think logically, carefully pondering what could actually work and allow people like mine's voices to be heard. Over an hour later, I thought I had a pretty solid plan, with different steps along the way. There were squiggles all over the plan, and lines drawn through sentences that I rethought over, and decided would not help.

Step one: Send a message.
Step two: Find an ally.
Step three: Make a change.

Of course there was a lot to each step, but I left it at that for now. There would be problems along the way, none that we could not solve. Me, Blake, and even JP, along with other outside help we would need.

My phone vibrated on the bed, and I reached over to grab it and see who was calling me. I assumed it would be Blake, but when I read JP's name on the screen it took me back. Setting my journal and pen aside for a moment, I slid to accept the call and brought it up to my ear gingerly.

"Hello?" I said in a raspy voice, leaning over to take a sip of my now cold tea to assist with my dry throat.

"Hey, are you busy?" JP asked, his tone extremely alluring.

I was afraid he would ask me to hang out without Blake, and that would be a dangerous scenario for me. The other day when we were together, he and I shared a heartfelt conversation and it made me feel closer to him. In a way I wasn't sure was okay. JP was not pushy or full of himself and it only made him all the more endearing.

"No, why?" I answered, not having the chance to catch the words before they flew out of my mouth.

"Cool. I wanted to see if you maybe wanted to get some food or something before your party," JP replied, his voice a bit shaky.

What?

"O-okay," I uttered with a breath, knowing it was a huge mistake.

If I was caught out with JP looking interested in him, David would certainly do much more to me than the single slap I received just days ago.  Moonstone would throw me back behind bars for god knows how long and JP would find out the truth about me. The whole truth.

"If you don't want to it's okay," JP said quickly, picking up on my uncertainty which made my heart sink. "You can say no."

"No, no," I whispered, massaging my temples as I sauntered over to my closet to search through my clothes. "We'll get food. I'll meet you at your house in about...fifteen minutes?"

"Okay!" JP sounded much more excited this time, and it made me smile. He was the kind of person who deserved all the happiness in the world.

"Okay, see you then," I replied, confirming our appointment. Then hanging up the phone, I tossed it on my bed as I inspected each and every one of my shirts.

Cursing for only giving myself fifteen minutes, I yanked a maroon colored tank top off the hanger and tried it on. My tattoo was out on display, and I sighed as I pulled on a cream colored cardigan to conceal it. The black leggings I was wearing seemed to be doing just fine, and with the time I had left I did not want to squeeze into my tight jeans.

Stopping for a moment, I peeled my cardigan back and gazed at my new moon tattoo again. I thought back to the pain I felt, digging my sharp nails into the chair as the needle pierced my skin. Then, it occurred to me. My parents and Blake's would be at the party tonight, meaning the fact that I was marked would probably come out. Just to do damage control, I added my parents into a quick group text, typing up a message to them.

Me: Hey, at the party tonight don't say anything to Blake's family about me being marked. I haven't told Blake yet, but I will.

I threw my bag over my shoulders, making sure my wallet was in there so that I would have my own money in case JP did not pay for us both. I did not expect him to. My view shifted over to where my journal rested on top of my bed blanket, deciding I needed one more thing before I left. Folding up the list I wrote out earlier, I stuffed it in my purse as well.

Part of me wanted to show JP what I'd come up with, it was the perfect opportunity to tell him everything I wanted for Moonstone.

When I arrived at his house, JP and I settled to eat at a small café just down the street from where our neighborhood was. We stood in front of the place waiting for a table to free up. Apparently, it was the busiest time of day to go out to eat. JP and I stole glances at one another, him smiling shyly each time our eyes met.

"What do you wanna do while we wait?" JP questioned, biting the corner of his plump bottom lip.

Oh god.

"Not sure," I said, freezing up when I noticed an official wandering nearby. "Uh, here, come with me." Latching onto his arm, I pulled him into a patch of trees with me where it was nice and shady and best of all, covered.

With my back up against a tree, I tracked the official out of the corner of my eye. The female official lingered close by, which was unfortunate for me. When I looked down, my cheeks heated up as I realized that I was still holding on tightly to JP's arm. He didn't push me away.

"What's the matter? Who are we hiding from?" JP popped his head out of the trees, looking around a bit.

"Uh, nobody," I lied, recognizing immediately that was a stupid answer when JP frowned, his lips narrowing in a firm pout across his face.

"There's obviously a reason why you pulled me in here," JP argued, using his strength to maneuver out of my grasp and take my hand instead while staring into my green eyes. "Talk to me."

This sent shivers down my spine, and I could not look away from him. He rubbed his thumb along my knuckles, his touch soft and gentle. His hands were significantly larger than mine, and I loved the size comparison. JP's face muted the longer he stared at me, and I finally forced myself to avoid his stare.

"I just, there's someone out there that used to make fun of me," I whispered, making up a false story in order to cover my own marked secrets.

"Which one?"

"The one with black hair, pale skin," I lied further, pointing my finger weakly in the direction of one girl who was just standing there minding her own business.

"Oh, she's ugly," JP said casually, earning himself a laugh from me.

"JP," I chuckled. "You're right though, maybe I'm just being stupid." Watching the official walk out of sight, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was safe for us to come out.

Just then, our buzzer that we had lit up, signaling that there was a table available. We both looked at it, then at each other. JP's stomach growled, making me erupt into a fit of giggles.

"Hungry?"

"Maybe a little." JP was red in the face, guiding me out of the trees and past the girl I falsely accused swiftly.

God, I was such a liar.

When we sat down at the table, JP slid me a menu and we both examined it closely. I decided upon the four cheese pasta, knowing it wouldn't be too messy to eat. When the waitress came, she poured some water for us both which we chose to stick with for our drinks. JP ordered a burger which I commended him silently for having the courage to eat in front of me at this point in our friendship, and I ordered my food as well.

My purse that I had set on the floor next to me felt too out in the open, so I scooped it up and placed it on my lap, seeing the paper folded neatly in there. I managed to snatch it without JP noticing, hanging the purse on the back of my chair as I slid the piece of paper underneath my leg.

I coughed awkwardly, drawing attention to myself. "So, um, the other day you said you wanted to help Blake and I. I don't know if you're still interested or not, but-"

"Of course I am, Amelia."

The way his tongue curled around my name as he spoke it made my stomach do a backflip. JP looked incredible, even though he was wearing just a fitted black t-shirt and some plain blue jeans. I wondered how he was not cold with his arms exposed like that, but if I had tattoos as attractive as his I'd go sleeveless too.

I took a moment to admire the swirl patterns on his arms. Some were foreign patterns, and there was even a single skull with a purple flower on it. There was one that was not fully visible to me though, and that was the one higher up on his arm. It was in the exact same spot as my new moon.

Wrapping my fingers around the piece of paper, I did a quick scan of the space before sliding it across the table towards JP. He picked it up, looking for approval and opening it up. His eyes scanned the page, meeting my gaze once he was finished reading.

"What needs to change?" JP asked, and I was grateful he did not think I was some sort of freak for writing out my ideas on pen and paper. "Enlighten me." He folded his hands underneath his chin, leaning on the table and waiting intently.

"The way Moonstone deals with mental illness," I spat out, deciding it would be best to just come right out and say it instead of beating around the bush.

JP's eyes suddenly had a glow to them, the same glow they did just days ago at the plaza. I decided not to speak, allowing the silence to do all the talking. There was something between us, some sort of connection we had that I just could not put my finger on.

"Are you okay?" I dared to ask. "I'm sorry if I upset you, I know it's a lot to take in, I just-"

"You don't need to apologize," JP corrected. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Tell me a little more. What happens to people who are mentally ill here?"

"Well," I began, uncertain what I should say to him. "They're just...treated like outsiders. A lot are put in jail and are expected to serve a sentence for whatever 'crime' is thought they committed."

JP looked profound in his own thoughts, furrowing his eyebrows together and taking in my words. He separated his lips, then pressing them together again.

"I see," JP hummed. "I...I had no idea." He shook his head in disbelief, stroking his smooth chin.

Just then, the waitress came with our food right in the middle of our conversation. We both thanked her of course, but we waited to devour what we each ordered. JP sniffled, and I checked to make sure he was okay before speaking once more.

"I guess the only people who know are the ones that have been through it, or know someone who has," I remarked, my heart rousing at the lack of thought I put into my words.

JP unexpectedly reached across the table and took my hand in his again, just like he did outside between the trees. He studied my fingers, and left a trail with his eyes all the way up to my face.

"Which one is it, Amelia?"

My eyes stung at this question, and I looked down at the table as my lips quivered with emotion. JP squeezed my hand tighter, looking at me with pure concern. A tear escaped from my eye, and I caught it with the hand I had free, bowing my head towards the ground.

"Shh, it's okay," JP cooed, worried as ever. "Amelia, please don't cry. You're a beautiful girl, you don't deserve this."

He thought I was beautiful? Even though I was a mentally unstable girl who was crying over the top of her pasta in public?

"T-Thank you," I managed to say through the tears, inhaling and exhaling sharply to try and stop them.

I wondered if I already said too much, but I was glad that I chose to leave the possibility of becoming marked out of the conversation. JP was understanding, yet there was no easy way to tell someone that you felt a spark with that you could never start a relationship with them.

After a good while, we both began to eat and JP managed to inhale his burger while using just one hand. His other stayed outstretched across the table, holding mine for support. JP did not know my full story, but he knew enough now that he could show me support. I was appreciative of the comfort because it was precisely what I needed in that weak moment.

Once we both finished eating and he paid, the waitress studying my semi red eyes the entire time, we left the café and stood outside for a moment. There was a cool breeze, and it blew JP's hair in front of his eyes, forcing him to sweep it back into place with his long fingers.

"Hey, I'm gonna go home and change before your party. Is that okay? Or do you need me?" JP asked more than told, searching my face for answers.

"Yeah, no...I should probably go home and wash my face before I show up at my own party looking like this."

JP shrugged. "It's your party, you can cry if you want to." He cracked a smile for me, and it made my heart radiate warmth across my chest.

"I don't deserve you," I declared, managing a weak grin. "Or Blake. You guys are such good people."

"I appreciate it, but you deserve the world, Amelia."

When JP tried to reach for my cheek to coddle it, I turned away. I already let JP touch me so much that day, and though it was just hand holding I knew it could majorly fuck up my next polygraph test with David. He did not seem too phased by it, stepping back instead.

Swallowing harshly, I felt anxiety ripple in the pit of my stomach. Going out with JP was a mistake, and so was holding hands with him yet it all felt so right. So natural.

I could only hope that this was as far as it would go, though I knew hope was not enough. It was up to me to end this.

-

Authors note: Oh no, that ending...

We're really starting to dive deeper into the story now, and JP and Amelia went on their first 'date'!! Amelia's Father also stepped way out of line, and he clearly does not understand the severity of his daughter's mental illnesses.

What do you think about Amelia's relationship with her Dad? With JP? Do you think Amelia should go against Moonstone's rules and go for JP, despite being marked? Or do you think she should follow the rules?

There's so much coming, drama included. ;)

Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to vote and leave a comment letting me know what you thought. <3