SCARLETT

After yet another restless night next to Roman, he woke me up with breakfast in bed, claiming that he had a meeting in his office to discuss trading deals with other packs. Again, he gave me the opportunity to come with him to the centre or stay behind, meaning he would work from home.

I was tempted to ask him to stay, enjoying being able to lounge around while I waited for my strength to build back up, but I knew that I couldn't let myself enjoy Roman's company too much. Being here alone with him was dangerous, and I needed to put as much distance between us as possible - even though I didn't want to.

We hadn't spoken about our kiss, but I could tell that Roman was on cloud nine. He wouldn't stop smiling, and even though he appeared stressed about today's meeting, he was putting me before it all.

As I made my way into the library again with Erica, I found myself reflecting on my life.

I so wished things could have been different. If I had been born a normal wolf, I would have been able to leap into his arms upon first glance and open myself up to him fully. There would be no secrets between us, and I would be able to look forward to a happy and healthy future. Maybe even children.

But I couldn't even think about having kids. Pearl and I weren't sure, but we had concluded that there would be a high chance that my children would also be gifted. We had no evidence to back up our theory, but it was safer to believe it and convince myself I was never going to have children, than allow myself to become disappointed by the fact later on in life.

There was no point thinking about the what if's. This was my life, and there wasn't anything I could do to change it. Wallowing in self pity was going to help nobody.

"Do you like these?" Erica asked me, tapping away on the library computer, trying to keep her voice down as much as she could. She pointed to the screen, and I narrowed my eyes at the pages and pages of clothing that popped in front of me.

Every item was a different style - a different colour- and it was incredibly overwhelming. In reality, it didn't even matter what we bought, because I wasn't going to be sticking around for long, and there was no way I would be able to take an entire wardrobe with me to the city.

I would be able to stuff a few pairs of tops and some jeans in a bag at best. I needed to travel light.

I wanted gloves, and I almost opened my mouth to ask Erica if she could search for some, but I was brought back to reality by her throat clearing, realising how weird it would sound to ask for them. People knew that gifted wolves were marked on their hands, and I didn't want to raise suspicion.

"Um, yeah, they're all nice," I stated, gazing at the computer screen once more, nodding.

Erica sighed, running her hand through her long blonde hair as she added even more items to the cart, seeming to get a kick out of watching the total cost rise and rise. It never stopped. Who was going to be paying for this?

My guess was Roman.

My mind wandered to our kiss for what felt like the millionth time this hour. The way his lips felt against mine - it was incredible. I had never been kissed before, but I had never imagined it to feel like sparks. Like actual sparks. It was such a cliche, but it was true.

My entire body tingled, my throat running dry, and my emotions slammed into me like a sledgehammer. It was intense. Kissing Roman was a huge mistake, because it was all I was going to be thinking about - for the rest of my life.

And it sucked, because I knew that it was never going to happen again. Ever.

"Okay. Anything else you want?" Erica asked me, also having snuck some baby clothing into the cart, the adorable white and beige onesies like a kick in the teeth, reminding me of what I would never have. "Brandon will send Roman the money for the baby stuff. Don't worry."

I wasn't worried. Erica thought I was going to judge her for taking advantage of Roman? I was doing the exact same thing and I hated it. Shaking my head, I averted my gaze as Erica entered in Roman's card details, muttering to herself about how long winded the whole process was.

She had assured me that Olive wasn't working today, and as I looked around, I was relieved to see that she wasn't there. Instead, a different stunning brunette woman had taken her place behind the desk, tapping away on her computer as she happily checked someone's books out. What was it like to have a normal, steady job?

"So, where is all of this stuff coming from?" I questioned out of curiosity, trying to pry. I needed to know what was around here.

Erica hummed, double checking the order number on screen. "Um, I don't know which store it will be coming from directly. The boutique we ordered from has a few stores dotted around."

Nodding, I ground my teeth together. That wasn't the answer I wanted. I was hoping for a name. I couldn't find the name of the city on the map yesterday.

I hadn't had a chance to take a look at the maps I had stolen from the library again, too worried to head into the study and raise Roman's suspicions. Plus they were overly detailed, and I had been home-schooled due to my gift. Map reading wasn't a subject Pearl had covered, so it was going to take me a bit of time to figure out a good route to take.

"So, will your family be coming to visit you anytime soon?" Erica asked me, and I gulped, picking at my cuticles.

Was I supposed to lie and say yes?

"I don't have a family," I stated with little emotion.

Erica's face blanched, and she bit down on her bottom lip as a panicked expression took over her face. "Scarlett, I'm sorry. I didn't mean -"

"It's fine," I interrupted her. I didn't want Erica thinking she had hurt my feelings, because she hadn't. I had come to terms with the fact that my family didn't want me, and the one person I had cared for was dead. Erica was a lovely girl, and she didn't deserve to feel guilty for asking an innocent question.

"I've paid extra for next day delivery, so everything should arrive tomorrow." Erica laughed, looking me up and down, raising her brow at Roman's long sleeved workout top and jogging bottoms. I had to admit, I looked a little crazy. "Roman and Brandon should be about done with their work. Do you want to head up to their office?"

I gazed around, taking in the few people that were in the library. It was relaxing in here. "I think I'm going to stay here for a little while longer. Is that okay?"

Erica hummed as she got to her feet, logging off from the computer. "I mean, Roman did say he was worried about you being alone, but I get that sometimes we just need time to ourselves to unwind. I'll bring the guys down and we can meet you here in a little bit?"

I nodded, smiling. "Thank you." I watched as she exited the library, and once I was sure that she was gone, I turned back to the computer.

I needed to do some research. The map was hard to read, but I was sure that there would be some information online about the nearby cities. I scowled once I took notice of the login screen, typing in random names in an attempt to get the computer started, but it didn't work.

Access denied.

You had to have a stupid login? I groaned.

I remained in the chair as people passed me by, and although I felt a pang of guilt at the thought, I knew that I needed to practise my gift, or else it would begin to take its toll on me again since isolating myself more, I hadn't had great opportunities to work on it. The cities were too busy and bustling and made it harder to concentrate.

The people in the library hadn't done anything to me, and they shouldn't be my guinea pigs to test on. But, if I didn't, I was going to get found out and turned in.

I wasn't sure what would happen after that, but it was nothing good. I had heard that gifted wolves that refused to help the Enclave Clan were tortured and killed. They wanted complete control.

Putting all of my negative thoughts aside, I pushed my dark hair away from my face as I honed in on a stocky broad man standing in the corner, rummaging through the shelves. He already looked frustrated - as if he couldn't find a book he was searching for, and I clung onto that, pushing out as much anger onto him as I could.

My head pulsated as I struggled to keep my eyes open, a blinding light taking over my vision. I watched the man as he froze, tapping his foot impatiently against the wooden floor, his eyebrows scrunching up. However, after a couple of seconds, I couldn't hold it any longer, and I spluttered, looking away from the man once he turned his head to me.

Shit. I wasn't as good as I thought I was.

The man continued to search through the shelf until his eyes widened, looking like he had come across the book he had been searching for. A smile made its way up onto his face, and he moved to settle down into a seat, immediately flipping it open.

Luckily, he hadn't suspected anything.

He was clearly a pretty powerful wolf, so my powers hadn't affected him the way that I wanted them to. I really needed to work on it.

Glancing at my shoulder, pulling Roman's workout top to the side, I narrowed my eyes at my stitched up wound, the skin around it still swollen and sore. Roman had been disappointed when he had taken a look at it this morning, and the way that his face fell when he saw it caused a knot to form inside of my stomach. He was concerned about it getting infected.

It was never going to heal if I didn't stop trying to use my gift, but I was also never going to get out of here if I didn't learn to take control of the power and use it on Roman. He was an Alpha, and getting inside of his head wasn't going to be easy. Not only because he was more powerful than me, but because deep down, I didn't want to manipulate him.

This mental block was going to get me killed. I had to squash it.

***

Erica beamed at me as she barged through the front door of Roman's house, clutching a huge box in her hands, jostling it slightly. She shook the rain from her braided blonde hair, placing the box down in the middle of the living room.

Roman entered with an arched eyebrow, crossing his arms as he watched us from the doorway, leaning against it with a small smile on his face. He had been doing that a lot, and as attractive as he looked, I always had to force my eyes away.

I couldn't allow myself to admire him for too long, or else the joy I had felt when we had kissed would resurface and I wouldn't be able to resist.

He hadn't tried to initiate anything else, although last night I had slept significantly better than I had previously. I was paranoid and ensured that I kept my hands clutched to my chest with my body facing away from him, and I was relieved to find that I awoke in the same position.

I wanted to touch him, but I just couldn't. Our close proximity had to be kept to a minimum if I was going to make it out of here.

Roman let us be as Erica sliced open the box, gesturing for me to begin pulling out the sheer amount of clothes. I was thankful that she didn't force me to complete a fashion show - as that would have drawn attention to my mark. Instead, I settled for holding them all up against my body and picturing them on.

It was bitter sweet. I wasn't going to get the chance to wear all of these, and I was hoping that when I left, Erica could keep them. Some of them would be a little tight on her, but a lot of the slouchy stuff would fit her perfectly.

I ignored the few baby onesies that were mixed in with my pieces.That wasn't part of my future.

I wasn't focused on the clothing for the most part though - even though the dresses, leggings, tops and pyjamas were beautiful. The entire time, my eyes roamed the box, searching for the return address without making it look too suspicious.

Erica caught me staring a few times, but she didn't seem to think anything of it when I drew her attention away from me, gesturing to yet another item that I wouldn't ever be able to wear.

"Don't you love them?" Erica exclaimed, laughing as I lay down on the pile of clothing, a laugh bubbling up my windpipe and escaping my mouth, a few T-shirts and bras finding their way over my face.

Was this what a normal life was like? If it was, I wanted it. I craved it.

Perhaps in another lifetime.

"I do," I said, and it wasn't a lie. "Thank you for helping me choose them. Although, you picked most of them really."

She shrugged. "What can I say? I have great taste." Erica stood, brushing her hands on her knees as she reached for the box. "I'll throw this out for you."

A bead of sweat trickled down the back of my neck, and I shook my head, my heartrate picking up. "No," I said, a little too loudly, causing Erica to arch a brow at me. "I mean, I just wanted to see the name of the store again. I really like it."

I was hoping that the shipment came from the closest store in the city not too far from here, which would give the location of the town.

Erica smiled, flipping the cardboard around and pointing to the return address.

Bingo.