After my disgraceful act of masturbating three times in a row that night-and every night since—it became painfully obvious: I was sexually attracted to Josh.

Denying it any longer would be laughable, even for me.

At first, I felt worked up about the whole thing, spiraling through confusion and despair. But once I accepted it, it... didn't feel like a big deal anymore.

Now came the hard part: figuring out what the hell I was supposed to do with this newfound discovery. What do "normal people" do when they realize they're sexually attracted to someone?

I could ask Elle for advice, but the very thought made me cringe. She'd milk it for all it was worth, tease me endlessly, and I couldn't bear to give her that kind of satisfaction.

Ronald?

The idea made me laugh out loud. Ronald was attracted to anything in a skirt, and his track record of clumsy advances was painful to witness. I'd played wingman for him more times than I cared to admit, and every single attempt was a masterclass in secondhand embarrassment.

That pretty much summed up the list of people I actually talked to.

Well, there was Charlie. But Charlie would ask way too many questions. I could already imagine the look on his face when he realized the object of my sexual attraction wasn't just male but Josh.

They had history, an ugly one.

I groaned, rolling over in bed, trying to figure out my next move.

Ask Google? Or maybe... ChatGPT?

This was the modern age, after all. Who
needed friends when I had the endless wisdom of artificial intelligence?

I reached for my laptop, pulling it off the desk and opening it up. The screen glowed in the darkness of my room as I typed into the search bar:

"What do you do when you're sexually attracted to someone?"

The Al's response loaded within seconds:
Al Response:

When you're sexually attracted to someone, it's important to assess your feelings and situation before deciding what to do next. Here are some suggestions:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's perfectly normal to feel sexually attracted to someone. Accepting your emotions without judgment is the first step.

Okay, I got through step one. What next?

2. Get to Know Them: If you're not already close to the person, consider interacting with them more. Building a connection can help you understand if your attraction is purely physical or if it runs deeper.

Get closer to Josh? Build a connection? Those were outside my skill set.

3. Evaluate Your Intentions: What do you want to achieve with this attraction? Are you looking for a relationship, a casual encounter, or just trying to understand yourself better?

If i knew that then I wouldn't be asking artificial intelligence. I facepalmed myself at how unhelpful this has been so far.

4. Communicate (If Appropriate): If you feel comfortable, consider talking to the person about your feelings—but only if it's appropriate and won't create unnecessary tension.

Is it appropriate to communicate my feelings, especially when I suspected he had a boyfriend.

5. Seek Support: If you're struggling with these feelings or unsure how to handle them, consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor.

"Talking to a trusted friend"? I didn't have friends, trusted or not.

6. Respect Boundaries: Make sure to respect their boundaries and your own. Not every attraction needs to be acted upon.

Okay so basically, I didn't need to act on it. Why bother with any of it when I could just stay in the comfort of my room and get myself off to thoughts of Josh?

I shut the laptop with a sigh and stood, ready to start my day. After washing up and changing, I headed downstairs for a glass of orange juice.

Just as I brought the glass to my lips, my phone chimed. I glanced at the screen.

"Darling, I'll be in California next week and wondered if you'd like to join me for one of my charity galas. Tiana will be present, and she'll be thrilled to see you. Let me know. Love, Mom."

I rolled my eyes at the message. Mom was still trying to set me up with Tiana. Too bad, Mom-turns out your son might be gay.

Wait, was I gay? I wasn't even sure. The only person l'd ever felt sexual attraction for was Josh. Isn't being gay about liking men in general? Because while thinking of Josh made me hard in seconds, thinking of Ronald was the fastest buzzkill imaginable.

I sighed, pushing the thought aside as I walked to my studio. Once there, I set up a fresh canvas and sat down.

My gaze flicked around the room, taking in the collection of paintings l'd done over the past few days. It felt like walking through a personal art exhibit—all of Josh.

There were paintings of his eyes, his hands, his smile. Others were of him in sexually suggestive poses, each one more explicit than the last.

But one painting stood out, sitting on an easel in the corner. The one l'd painted yesterday. Josh, tied up in chains, tears streaming down his face.

What scared me wasn't the painting itself but the realization of how badly I wanted it to be real.

I wanted to see him like that. Not just on canvas. In real life. Tied up, looking at me with those desperate, pleading eyes, completely at my mercy.

The thought sent blood rushing straight to my dick.

I grabbed my brush, dipping it into paint as my mind churned in a chaotic whirlpool. My hand hovered over the canvas, ready to begin.

Then my phone rang.

I groaned, clenching my jaw at the interruption. Glancing at the screen, I saw Ronald's name flashing. Of course.

"What do you want now?" I muttered as I picked up the call.

"You know," his voice came through the speaker, dripping with indignation, "I shouldn't even be calling you right now. You left me high and dry at the club that night."

"Then why are you calling?"

"Because I thought you deserved a chance to explain yourself."

"Ronald," I sighed, already losing patience, "just say what you want."

"Fine." He took a deep breath, then rushed through his words. "I met this girl at the club-she's hot—and I don't want to mess this up. She's an influencer, and she's having this party, but her venue canceled last minute, and I may have kind of, sort of, maybe told her she could use your place."

I didn't even bother responding. I hung up.

The phone rang again almost instantly. Once. Twice. Three times. Finally, I picked up.

"Come on, man, you owe me!" Ronald whined.

"No, I do not."

"Please!" he begged. "I swear it's only two hours, and I'll make sure the place is spotless when we're done."

I snorted. He couldn't even clean up after himself, and now he was promising to clean up after a party?"

"Take her to your place."

"You've been to my place! That's no place for an influencer!"

He wasn't wrong. Ronald's apartment was barely livable by human standards.

"Please, man. It's what friends do."

Having strangers in my house made my stomach churn. The thought alone was enough to make my head spin. Was it worth it just to keep clueless Ronald on my side?

"Fine," I said through gritted teeth.

He launched into a string of over-the-top thanks, but I tuned him out, picturing myself smashing his head against a wall over and over until it was nothing but mush.

When he finally hung up, I sighed, grabbed my phone, and texted my cleaning service, requesting them for tonight. Because let's be honest-Ronald wasn't cleaning up after anyone.

I set the phone down and turned back to the blank canvas, ready to start again.

A new inspiration flowing through.

Authors note:
So we don't like Ronald, do we?
Word count:1336