Oceans, Chapter Six - Shitsumon [質問]
Despite the interruptions of what could have been a ground-breaking epiphany, Amaya still managed to retain some form of understanding that wasn't forced out of her head by the evil elevator. Even better, she took the stairs instead, just to spite the stupid cable-drawn cage, and her thoughts began to work again.
First was the fact that he'd heard her words she spoke in front of his apartment door, though she didn't know how much.
Second was the fact that while there was still something off, or even wrong with him, he was going to remember to "Play" with her from now on.
And third was the fact that while he didn't say the words "I'm Sorry", he still gave her a very vague, between the lines kind of apology, which was a hell of a lot, considering that it came from Karma, of all people.
The only time Karma would ever apologise was when he was doing it in order to taunt the living hell out of you.
Everything was still out of whack and of course Amaya was still inwardly bobbing around in the ocean that was her emotions, her emotional state still somewhat stable despite a greatly flooded world. She was still managing to keep her head above the surface, the events in Karma's apartment building having had a calming effect on the turbulence that had been there before.
While she still had no idea what was going on with everything around her, at least she had seen some signs of improvement.
Something that wasn't her had given in, and her overstrung mind began to slowly regain tolerance.
Amaya let out a very familiar breath as she stepped out of her building's elevator on the ground floor, her headphones in place over her ears as she listened to some Galileo Galilei and walked to the train station. Her MP3 player had committed suicide in the bathroom sink when she slipped over that morning, leaving Amaya with the small range of music on her phone, instead.
She probably wouldn't be able to buy a new one for a few months.
It had just gone 6.30am, and after Monday's events, Amaya didn't feel any particular desire to give an opportunity for anything else to happen. The idiots she usually took care of with her fists never truly appeared in numbers so early in the morning. One or two here or there half asleep, at most three like at the Kunugigaoka station.
Despite her stubborn streak and her refusal to admit anything about it to anyone, Amaya left her hair loose to hang down her back for the last two days, unlike her usual high ponytail. Even though she was certain Karma had only meant that he liked her hair loose just because he could royally mess it up and piss her off at the same time, Amaya couldn't help it. When she stared at herself in the mirror this morning, a shade of pink had touched her face and she couldn't bring herself to put it in her ever-normal ponytail. It was rare that he would actually say that he liked something about her, and it meant a lot to her, even if he wasn't being serious.
Of course, if Karma saw her, he was just going to mock her mercilessly for it.
But in a weird way, she was fine with that. She'd just smack him for it if he pissed her off too much.
She never really knew what to do when it came to Karma and what he'd say to her, even when he wasn't acting so god damn weird. She'd never had a friend other than Karma before, so in a nutshell, she didn't really know how friends were supposed to act, or even if it was normal for an offhand remark like that to please her so much. It didn't help that her siblings just continued to tease her about her friendship with Karma, even worse that because she didn't know how friends were supposed to feel about each other, there was a possibility that she was misinterpreting platonic feelings for infactuation. She believes she has feelings for him, but in another way she didn't really know for sure. She still did her best to suppress anything that didn't register as entirely chummy or platonic in any way, which meant that there was a lot that she was hiding from herself.
She'd never had anyone in her life other than her family and Karma, and because of that she was quite over-attached to the three of them. It might just be that - If Karma disappeared, a whole third of her life would be gone.
Maybe that was all it was, in the end?
She was essentially inept when it came to interpersonal friendships with other people so she didn't actually know what was what, but she knew for a fact that being friends with Akabane Karma of all people was not normal.
Nothing was normal when it came to Karma.
Ignoring the irregularity that was her friend, the only other of late was her brother's reaction to her change of hairstyle, however.
Upon seeing her in the kitchen with her hair down yesterday morning, Yuta stared at her for many minutes until he realised what he was seeing. Then the rest of the morning in their apartment, he would not stop gushing over how she just had to wear a little black dress, a white cross on a black cord around her neck, and a red jacket with her hair like that.
Sometimes Amaya worried about her brother's adoration of the older women characters in anime. Especially when he would always start to gush when she'd do something that was a little more like his favorite character in the world of anime. He never seemed to like any of the normal characters an eleven-year-old normally would, almost like he had some kind of hang-up in concerns with the topic.
But she guessed it was inevitable in a weird way, considering that Amaya was more like a situational parent to them rather than their big sister, and their family name just so happened to be Katsuragi. Yuta had slipped up and not only called her Mom before, but he'd called her Misato, too. It was to Amaya's bewilderment at the time, and Karma's mocking amusement.
If she ever changed her given name to Misato, Yuta would probably faint. Or he'd be moved to tears, either which, really. Even if she disliked her name, she wouldn't do that - their mother had given all three of them their names, after all. The name Katsuragi just came from their father. A man whom the twins didn't remember, and Amaya tried not to recall. The last she heard was that he was living in England, and if Amaya had to be perfectly honest with her thoughts on that?
She wanted it to stay that way.
Amaya did happen to wonder where Karma was yesterday - She hadn't seen him, but it was normal for the two of them to not see one another some days.
He wasn't ignoring her, though. Amaya'd sent him an email last night about whether he'd seen the new information on the Sonic Ninja movie coming out soon, and he replied pretty promptly. He seemed rather eager to see it, remarking that it'd be well worth cutting school just to go see it, though Amaya was pretty certain it would never come out in the cinemas over here. So that meant he'd have to either download it or buy it online eventually. Buying for his birthday was a nightmare and a half when he could just buy anything reasonable that he wanted.
The guy was from a wealthy family - if you could even call it that - so Amaya guessed as soon as it came out he was going to acquire a copy. There really was no point in buying it for him, really. In truth, his parents never spent very much time with him - They were always gone, some kind of daytime traders kind of setup, so they were not only wealthy, but had a real free kind of lifestyle.
Leaving Karma home on his own a lot of the time. In the back of her mind, Amaya wondered if the reason Karma had ended up so weird with his behavior is because of his family life. Not that he's maltreated or anything, but unlike Yuta and Reiko where they had Amaya to keep them in line, Karma just had himself in the end because his parents were always elsewhere? They were really nice people - Amaya'd met them before to know this for herself. It was just one of those unfortunate things where they just weren't here very much, if at all.
Though, now that she and Nagisa had exchanged numbers, she had an avenue to take when it came to the Birthday Scenario, now. Nagisa had briefly mentioned that he'd been over Karma's place before on Monday morning, which had bothered her at the time.
That was a bit of a lie - It still bothered her.
She still found it strange though that while she had never been to Karma's place, he also never mentioned Nagisa to her. But Nagisa, who he'd invited over knew about her, well enough to come to her to ask about Karma, much like the troublemaker spoke about her enough for Nagisa to come to her when there were things bothering him.
Amaya really didn't get it, but in a weird way, she was both a little sad, and a little pleased by that. Sad because it felt like Karma didn't really see her as a friend at all to talk about things in his life, but pleased because Karma obviously had mentioned her to Nagisa. It was a little disconcerting at the same time, too. She didn't really know which she was supposed to feel, but she knew she was kind of leaning to the sad side of the equation.
Amaya couldn't help but let out a breath as she came to a stop at the train station, where it looked like there was a delay on the one she needed to get to Kunugigaoka - It was usually here at 6.35am, but as she looked up at the board, it said the next service was due by 6.50am.
Had she missed it, or something?
'Heh? Well look at this!' Drawled a familiar voice all of a sudden, startling Amaya out of her train of thought. 'Now you're just asking for it, Amay!'
Before she had even managed to turn around, she felt the owner of that familiar voice suddenly begin to mess her hair up roughly, causing an indignant squeak to escape her.
'Damn it! Karma!' Amaya exclaimed before she'd even seen him, managing to catch his wrists with a temperamental frown. 'Do you absolutely have to attack me first thing in the morning?!'
'Ooh, feisty.' Karma drawled with a sly grin, looking at Amaya's frustrated face from his captured wrists after a second. 'You know, if you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask, Amay.'
'That's not what I'm doing, so shut it!' Amaya snapped indignantly, while Karma laughed at her as he jerked himself free from her grip in order to snatch up her headphones from atop her head.
The motion of which had her phone pulled free from the pocket of her pants, along with the rest of the cord.
'O-Oi! What the hell!?' Amaya nearly shrieked as she saw the red-head grin and flip her phone open to go prying. 'Don't - I need that!'
'Eh? Do you really?' Karma questioned in mock curiosity, glancing at her rather frustrated face from her phone. 'It's not like you even use it, anyway.'
'But I do use it!' Amaya seethed as she tried to snatch her phone out of the boy's grip, only to be sidestepped with ease. 'I receive calls from Yuta and Reiko! And their school needs to get in contact with me if something comes up! Not to mention right now it's my only source of sanity in class now that my mp3 player's dead!'
Karma avoided another lunging grab from Amaya.
'That doesn't count.' Karma remarked with that same evil grin of his, continuing to avoid Amaya's attempts at snatching her phone from him.
'What do you mean, it doesn't count?!' Amaya growled, making another pointless swipe at her phone again. 'Damn it! Have you already forgotten that I emailed you last night!?' Amaya snapped, glaring as Karma yanked the phone out of her reach yet again.
'Sounds like someone's grasping at straws.' Karma mocked her with a grin, holding her phone above his head so that he could still pry while keeping it out of her reach, because he knew she wouldn't actually go out of her way to attack him.
'So god help me, if you don't give that back right now Karma, I'm gonna make your life miserable!' Amaya ground out.
'Eh? You have Nagisa-kun's contact information now, Amay?' Karma spoke up in surprise, completely ignoring Amaya's threat as he stared up at her contact list. 'When did this happen?'
Amaya's frustration was stunted by that single question, making way for confusion as she saw Karma look at her from her phone for a second.
'Since Monday morning, I guess.' Amaya responded as she crossed her arms, casting him a blank look. 'Why do you ask?'
Karma seemed to watch her for a couple of seconds, no readable emotion playing across his face.
At least until he smirked and looked back at her phone.
'No reason~!' He drawled as he began to mess around with her phone again.
Now Amaya knew that it wasn't a matter of 'no reason', and she blinked at him as she tried to figure out what it was. This wasn't the first time he'd gone through her phone, and the last time she let him do it once she'd accepted it, too. But something was bothering her greatly, and she couldn't put her finger on it.
At least until she realized that he was about to go through her messages.
'Wait! Don't you dare go through my emails!' Amaya yelled out immediately, throwing herself forward to desperately snatch her phone out of his grip.
'Oh? Is there something you don't want me reading, in here?' Karma questioned her easily, though he blinked in surprise as Amaya managed to get her hand around the top half of her phone, her fingers obscuring the screen enough to block it. Her other hand had been immobilized in her attempt at stealing her phone back by Karma - He'd caught her wrist and held her at bay.
'Oh course there is!' Amaya seethed, her grip of her phone remaining tight as Karma fixed her with a sly grin.
Had she managed to stop him from reading anything?
Oh she hoped more than anything that she managed to stop him in time! She didn't want him to see anything that Nagisa had messaged her, just because he would twist it around so bad that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from slugging him.
'Eeh? Now I'm interested.' He responded easily, his grip tightening around her wrist.
'I don't give a damn!' Amaya retorted.
'But I wanna see what you were talking to him about.' Karma told her, casting her one of his trademark innocent smiles. 'Come on, let go already!'
'No way in hell!' She retorted within a heartbeat, trying to keep her grip without breaking her phone. 'In fact, you let go! It's my god damn phone!'
'Well, it looks like we're at an impasse.' Karma surmised, still casting her a sly grin. 'I'll give your phone back, I promise.'
His remark caused Amaya to scoff immediately.
'Yeah, sure.' Amaya quipped sarcastically, her fingers tightening around the top-half of the phone as she felt him begin to try and pull it from her grip. 'I bet that's after you've spent the whole morning scanning it for stuff to torment me with!'
'Would I do that?' Karma questioned her curiously.
Amaya wanted nothing more than to slap her hand to her forehead dramatically.
'When have you ever not ?!' Amaya retorted.
Oddly enough, Karma seemed to think on it for a few seconds.
'Oi oi! It's a rhetorical question, you idiot!' Amaya snapped indignantly, earning a look of mock surprise from Karma.
'Eh? I didn't know you could use such big words, Amay! I'm actually impressed!' He said to her, earning an immediate glare in response.
'Shut up, you narcissist bastard!' Amaya snapped at the remark, feeling somewhat insulted by his taunt. 'Now let go or else, damn it!'
'Or else what?' Karma questioned in that same smug manner, continuing to press her buttons as much as he could.
'Or else I'll--' Amaya began, however all of a sudden her phone started ringing in their hands, causing both Amaya and Karma to look down at it in surprise. 'Huh?'
Amaya's normal reaction would be to be to assume that it was the Twins calling under dire circumstances, but given the fact that it wasn't even 7am, they wouldn't have even left the apartment yet, Amaya wasn't bothered. Just curious as to who this could be.
'You know, Amay, we can't see who it is if you don't move your fingers.' Karma spoke as her phone continued to play Aoi Shiori and vibrate, surprising Amaya. She looked up at him for a second, and then before she even realized what she was doing, she shrugged.
Amaya loosened her hold of the top half of her phone and did as he suggested.
And then as soon as she caught the tiniest glimpse of 'Shiota-kun' on the screen, her phone was snatched right out of her grip.
'Hey, Nagisa-kun!' Karma greeted the person on her phone as he released Amaya's wrist, causing her to snap her gaze back up to gape at the red-head to see that he had stepped out of grabbing-distance. 'Eh? Nothing much. Just playing with Amay.'
'You bastard! Give it back!' Amaya snapped, throwing herself forward to try and recover her phone - But before she even tried, she knew it was a pointless attempt.
Karma had already sidestepped her, wandering off in another direction at a slow stroll as he continued to talk to Nagisa on her phone.
Amaya let out a breath as she decided it really wasn't worth it anymore, and she buried her hands in her pockets as she slowly trudged back to the far end of the platform where she had been standing before Karma had attacked her.
He wasn't going to lose her phone or do anything too bad with it, and she suddenly felt lethargic. She found herself losing the ability and interest to really care about it, anymore.
Why the hell was he so hell bent on tormenting her, today? Yes, she was happy he wasn't ignoring her anymore, but it's like he was turning it up to 11 just because. That horribly off look in his eyes was still there, telling Amaya that Karma still wasn't himself.
Something was still very wrong.
But of course he wouldn't talk to her about it - He did say he neither needed or wanted her help, and that there was nothing wrong.
All she could do was watch and hope that it was just some small hangup that would eventually disappear.
Her train began to pull into the platform, causing Amaya to let out a breath as she readjusted the strap of her bag carefully. Somewhere off in her peripheral vision, she could see Karma's noticeable mop of red hair at the opposite end of the platform, and all she could do was sigh.
Well ... it was rare that anything would happen before the end of school, so Amaya decided that she could do without the device today.
She walked into the oddly empty train as she decided to just stop caring right now.
But of course she could feel the ocean inside beginning to become a little more turbulent, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it.
Taking up her favorite place on the train just to the left of the opposite door, Amaya held onto the hand railing above her head as she stared out at the city outside. There was next to nobody in the carriage with her, leaving her to search for a rope to anchor her in place in the ocean. She knew subconsciously that she wasn't going to find one, though.
She hadn't been able to find one since she started becoming unsure of who she really was - Right when she started suppressing things that didn't make sense to her inexperienced mind.
All of a sudden, Amaya felt something gently set itself around her neck, snapping her out of her small daze with startling effect. Her white headphones were returned to sit around her neck, and a second later, Amaya saw a familiar hand hold her red and black phone to her from over her shoulder.
After a few seconds, Amaya sighed and lifted her free hand to gently lift her phone from his hand. Amaya's fingers brushed ever so slightly against his hand, sending a small jolt of tingles to shoot through her.
No words were exchanged at that second. Amaya gently set it in her pocket before she returned her gaze to the world outside.
She guessed he got bored, now that she wasn't biting anymore.
'You really should get a better phone, Amay.' Karma decided to break the silence, his voice echoing from over her right shoulder.
'It works just fine.' Amaya muttered under her breath in response, turning her head so that she could see where the troublesome boy was. 'I don't have the money to spend on a supposed upgrade, unlike you.'
He was standing right over her shoulder, much too close given the ample freedom in the virtually empty carriage. If it was packed like normal, Amaya wouldn't have been suspicious of his close proximity, considering that with public transport, you end up packed like a can of sardines while others tried to squeeze into the limited space. He seemed to opt for being a matter of inches away from her, and it made Amaya a little nervous.
Karma seemed to fix her with a rather bemused look in response to her words.
'All I heard was crackling and pops over the top of what Nagisa-kun was saying.'
'It's always like that, which is why I email instead of call people.'
'That's pretty bad, Amay.'
'You're just not used to it because you've never used it, before.' Amaya sighed, breaking out of her reprieve to instead turn and rest her back against the wall of the carriage to face Karma in order to regain at least a comfortable amount of distance from him - She did not like the constant onslaught of tingles and high-strung nerves given that things weren't normal.
If things were back to normal, she'd be more comfortable to deal with the sensations that drew confusion into life within her heart.
As she looked up at Karma to ascertain about the silence she received in return, she found that he was giving her a rather disapproving look.
'You need a better one, Amay.' Karma told her with a rather flat tone of voice, his disapproving look growing stronger as an obstinate touch began to appear in Amaya's eyes. 'You've had that phone for as long as I've known you.'
'No I haven't.' Amaya responded seriously, which caused Karma to raise an eyebrow in question. 'I got it when you brought the kids home for me that time they got lost.'
This time a sigh escaped Karma as her obstinate side began to show itself.
'Six months doesn't make much difference when that was still seven years ago.' Karma told her, fixing her with a frown as she remained silent. 'You need one that actually works properly.'
'I already told you, I don't have the money for it.' Amaya responded seriously.
'Then what about if I buy--'
'No way in hell.' Amaya cut him off, fixing him with a frown just as strong as his own. 'There's no way in hell I'm gonna let you buy me anything - especially a new phone.'
She thought she saw that telltale sign that she was legitimately beginning to piss him off - But it was gone before she knew it, making her wonder if she was just imagining things.
No, when Karma was pushed too far beyond frustration, he started biting his nails.
Right now, his hands were still in his pockets and he just looked really, really exasperated. He didn't say anything in preference of giving her one of those looks of his. That one where it was an unspoken remark that he knew full well there was a reason she still hadn't told him, but it was too much trouble to try and force her to tell him, right now.
Basically, he was just going to keep giving her that look until she gave in, like every other time ever since they'd become friends.
Of course, the guy should know by now that she wasn't going to yield when it came to her loathing of people spending money on her. She wasn't going to give in to this either, and explain why she hated it so much.
This wasn't the first time it had come up, either.
Amaya let out another breath as the silence continued for what felt like minutes, bringing her to shift her gaze to the outside of the train once again.
'So why are you in your uniform?' Amaya questioned Karma, however her gaze remained on the Sakura trees in bursting display of soft cotton pink all through the city. 'I thought you were still suspended, or something?'
'Last day.' Karma remarked after a few seconds. 'I'm supposed to come in for some introduction before I start in Class E tomorrow.'
Amaya huffed slightly, and a small pout appeared across her face.
'You have no idea how boring it's been without you around.' Amaya grumbled spoiltly. 'How dare you get suspended and not drag me along with you?'
'You could always get yourself suspended right now.' Karma suggested with a lop-sided smirk, causing Amaya to turn her head to look at him. 'It's not too late, you know? Do something really stupid, or better yet, why don't you trash the administrations office?'
'Haa? How am I going to do that when they keep it locked after you set traps in there over spring break?' Amaya questioned seriously, even though she knew the guy was just teasing her. 'If I'm going to deliberately get suspended, I'd rather get even with someone - I'll probably get expelled for it instead, though.'
'Oh? With who?' Karma asked her, thoroughly intrigued.
She couldn't blame him, she guessed - After all, she never made a point of having a revenge-list worth getting suspended over.
It probably intrigued him, because it might be his kind of revenge instead of her subtle kind of mental warfare. You know, the humiliating, chance to injure kind of revenge that gets him in trouble all the time.
So Amaya shook her head slightly with a wry grin, looking over towards the window once again.
'My current homeroom teacher, can't remember his name for the life of me.' Amaya responded with a grimace, lifting one of her hands to push her fringe out of her face as she continued. 'He's been trying to get me expelled ever since I walked into class on Monday for some stupid reason - I'm surprised Shiota-kun hasn't heard the bastard yelling at me from up at the E campus all week.'
There was no response, bringing her to look up at Karma once again in confusion.
But unfortunately, her confusion turned into grim realization at the look she found written across his face.
All traces of humor had left him, and he was instead fixing her with a harrowing look.
That glint she'd seen in him ever since Monday had returned, and engulfed his entire disposition.
It was so bad that it actually began to scare her.
'Eh? Which one is he?' He questioned her with a soft tone, though the look he wore was slightly unhinged, as if her answer had brought forth the issue that had been bothering him out into the open.
She'd never been scared of Karma before in her life. He'd never given her a reason to be scared of him - In fact, she still wasn't, because she knew he wouldn't do anything to actually harm her.
The guy had just tried to offer to buy her a new phone not ten minutes ago, after all!
But right now he was giving her a very, very good reason to be scared for him.
His problem was with that teacher, and in direct connection, that teacher's problem with her was all because of Karma.
That teacher never had a problem with Karma before - He backed Karma's violent tendencies claiming that while Karma's in the right, he's got nothing to worry about. Karma must have lashed out at the teacher for some reason, like Karma did something according to his morals and the teacher disagreed.
Now, that teacher was obviously taking his anger out on her, because it was a school-wide belief that she was Karma's right-hand-man.
Oh god ... Who the hell did Karma beat up to earn that response?
There was only one thing that would have that happen... And she knew what it was, now.
Amaya felt her heart drop into her stomach once again as everything made profound, nauseating sense to her.
'Umm ... He's actually the teacher ... you had last year, Karma ...' Amaya eventually answered.
Her epiphany had just been answered by the distance that appeared in his eyes, mixing with the unhinged look and frightening her all the more.
She knew there really was nothing she could do to help him.
Just like he told her.
---=[Authors Note]=---
DUN DUN DUUUUUN! And here's another chapter for you lovelies :) I apologise for the delay with this one in comparison to the others - I've been working 10 hour days at a mechanical workshop while my mom and her partner who run the place are on holiday, and I caught a cold the first day, haha. So I haven't been much able to feel for typing, but I have been working on it in my head, lol.
OwO So we're getting to the start of Class E now! Anything doesn't make sense or I got anything wrong? Please let me know! I've only seen the anime and am unable to read the manga cause it's not sold here and I can't view online, cause it'll cap my net T-T I WILL READ IT WHEN I EVENTUALLY BUY A TRANSLATED COPY!!!
Anyways, much thanks to my top reader and commenter, Harukittybif I actually wanted to give a shoutout to you, cause you've commented on everything I've submitted, and it means a lot to me :') You are awesomse!!!
Words in this story with translations for you lovelies :D
Shitsumon - Translates as Question, which is written as 質問 in Japanese
Galileo Galilei - Not a translation per say but an explanation. They're a Japanese Rock Band, and are really, really good :) Their music is so relaxing and I highly recommend listening to them if you're looking for something new. I didn't know about them until watching Terror In Resonance (Zankyou no Terror in Japanese), where the opening theme is done by the main guitarist/Vocalist of Galileo Galilei. Search them up on youtube if you're interested, and if you like them, you can get their Albums through CDjapan :)
Aoi Shiori - Translates as Blue Bookmark, and is the title of one of Galileo Galilei's songs, which is the opening soundtrack to Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shira nai, more commonly known as Ano Hana. This, along with Terror in Resonance is a really good anime, but really sad the first time around.
Sakura - Cherry Blossom Trees, always seen in Japan-Set anime.
See anything I missed? Lemme know and I'll put it in here right away! Thanks for reading,
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