The night had been an unpleasant, perpetual cycle of misery and apathy.

It was spent lying in the egg-chair in her attic, staring out at the darkness outside the lone window that peered into her little personal piece of solitude. When Amaya didn't weep, she lay listless in her own shell. And when she wasn't trapped in her own shell, she wept. Even in those throws of apathy with little going on inside her head, she couldn't sleep.

She was awake the whole time, torn between two conflicting states of emotion.

She scarcely remembered what she even did when she had finally dropped off Karma's belngings, nothing came to her mind even when she tried to recall her actions, or even just where she had been.

What Amaya did remember was that her phone had been a shrill, incessant reminder that she felt more alone than ever before.

Somewhere after returning to the darkness of her still-wrecked house, her phone had started rinigng without end. The first of the calls had rung out as Amaya carefully worked to clean up all the shattered glass throughout her kitchen, chiming a chilling tune throughout the darkness. She refused to so much as look at the device, let alone consider answering it.

And yet, it didn't stop.

When the call would cut out, within a handful of seconds it would start ringing again.

Over and over the incessant phone rung, as if someone were desperate to get hold of her.

And then, when the phone stopped ringing, there was knocking at her door.

The knocking was loud and erratic, more resembling the sound of a closed fist pounding against the reinforced door than someone casually knocking on a stranger's door.

She knew who it was at the door before she even heard them try and call out to her.

And she knew she didn't want to let him know she was even there.

She heard her name called, louder and louder with every repetition.

And yet, she refused.

As the minutes grew longer and longer as calls both at the door and her phone continued, she had given up.

She had retreated quietly up to her attic, and hid there for the rest of the night.

When Amaya had emerged from the attic just shy of 8am, greeted by the eerie silence of her empty house, she could only stare.

The house did not feel like sanctuary, in spite of the actions she had taken so far to shut Karma out. It did not even feel like her own home. It felt like she was in some strangers house, one that was incredibly similar to her own, but there was a striking absence of life in it that just felt, off.

It felt very wrong.

And all shewanted to do, was disappear elsewhere.

Her phone had definitely been bombarded with more missed calls, Amaya noted as she reluctantly decided to check her device. Her device, which usually lasted a few days before requiring a recharge was almost completely drained after just one day. The screen showed that apparently, there had been thirty seven missed calls since she had discarded it onto the counter, and at least three times as many emails sitting in her inbox.

And the majority of them, were from Karma.

There was only three emails that were from somebody else, both from Isogai. The first was advising her that her siblings had been safely collected from school, the second informing her that they were safely at Maehara's house for the night. The third was informing her that they had been escorted to school, and that message had been received just shy of ten minutes ago.

Amaya was thankful for the updates, even if she didn't send a reply.

She got the feeling though, that they didn't expect her to answer, either.

A slow, weary breath escaped Amaya as she discarded her phone onto the counter once again, and decided that, at the very least, she needed to go do something productive than sit at home wallowing in her misery.

She could do some soul-searching while she did that.

So, after tending to the needs of three small animals that wanted nothing to do with her, Amaya had gathered her belongings, and left.

The cold in the air was uncomfortable against Amaya's exposed skin as she made her way towards Kunugigaoka station, piercing as if tiny needles were jabbing against her flesh.

The streets were empty, devoid of life as Amaya walked the long way to the station, avoiding the usual streets in preference for missing any familiar faces along the way. The skies were dark and grey, as if mirroring her internal unease.

She busied herself with contemplating what she needed to do in an attempt at distracting herself, tugging the hood of her hoodie more over her head to try and hide her features from view.

She should change the locks of the house, in case she forgot to set the deadbolts.

Additionally, she decided that, after a long while of wearing her natural white, she should probably put colour in her hair if she wanted to avoid being recognized in the streets. Walking around with a hood up was practically screaming out "please notice me" to anyone that spotted her.

Dying her hair was a hassle she hadn't had to deal with in a long while, but right now... It was for the best.

Amaya's feet lead her through Kunugigaoka's nearest station when she'd arrived, navigating between groups of students disembarking various trains and otherwise loitering around the station before they had to leave for class.

Class, huh?

Amaya took a deep, calming breath as she came to a halt at the back of a group of people waiting for an outgoing train towards the north of the city, and buried her hands in her pockets. The thought of that classroom, those people, had brought a tremmor to shoot through her.

She wouldn't go back.

Not now, not after everything that happened.

Her life wasn't a sideshow attraction that was open for discussion, for disclosure without her express consent. She was a person with emotions, not an object to discuss like a lab experiment.

He should have understood that.

He should have been the one person to understand just how important that was to her.

They were both turned into objects, harmed, disfigured, mutilated against their will. Treated like disposable tools to play with until their bodies splintered and cracked beneath the abuse.

And because of that, she felt far more betrayed by him than for what Karma had said.

No amount of apologies or "It's for the best" was going to change that.

She was done being treated like an unstable object.

Enough, was enough.

An overhead announcement rung out, informing the awaiting passengers of the incoming train bound for central Tokyo, brining the albino to lift her head to look up at the speaker. A few meters behind, an announcement for another incoming train rung out just shortly after, bringing her to glance over at the approaching train of the opposite line.

She didn't know why she had looked over, but she immediately regretted it.

Because she caught a glimpse of bright, scarlet red hair through one of the windows and instinctively knew who was on that train.

He was going to spot her as soon as he got off the train, even with her hood over her head to hide her hair.

And she couldn't be around him.

Not now...

Amaya turned her head quickly towards the train approaching her platform, inwardly cursing when she noted it was going far, far slower than it usually would when approaching the platform. She grit her teeth and focused all her willpower into ignoring the sound of the other train coming to a stop behind her.

Impatience plagued her as a sense of urgency pushed at her nerves, urging her to glance back to see exactly how far away the train was.

Her own train stopped.

She heard people disembarking the train behind her.

Finally, the doors opened, however the influx of disembarking students pushed Amaya back far enough where her form was less hidden by the adults waiting to embark.

And then a chill shot down Amaya's spine, so quickly she had almost flinched.

She knew without looking that she'd just been spotted. She could see the quick, hasty movements in her peripheral vision just as the boarding passengers began to board the train. Amaya didn't hesitate to follow suit the very second she could.

A shouted call rung across the platform as Amaya stepped over the gap as the warning bell began to sound.

And then, the doors of the train shut behind her.

Just in time.

There was a resounding thud that shot through the door the very second it had sealed shut, and she could practically feel the desperation behind the gaze that was upon her.

'Amaya!' She had heard her name called out, heard the absence of usual cadence in his voice just as another thud echoed against the glass of the door at her back. For just one fleeting second, she was on the verge of turning her head to look back.

But she caught herself before her actions had eclipsed a mere tilt of the head.

She could hear some semblance of words through the thick glass at her back, though the actual words failed to come to her attention. More urgent knocks against the glass sounded. She could feel people staring at her as she refused to respond to the scene taking place just at her back, talking, whispering, judging her for her stone-faced reaction to such a desperate plea. But they didn't intervene and open the door, either.

Their judging stares were an unpleasant thing to be face-to-face with, but right now it was better than letting him in right now.

Eventually, the train began to pull from the station, yet those stares remained.

At least, until a large form wandered over and dropped himself carelessly into the chair to Amaya's immediate right.

'He looked pretty desperate for a cocky brat.' Hayashi's muttered words echoed after a brief moment. 'Somethin' happen, did it?'

Amaya grit her teeth and kept silent, keeping her gaze fixed upon the opposite door ahead of her.

Yet he didn't seem discouraged or bothered by her silence. Instead, Hayashi let out a slow, measured breath as he cast a brief glance towards his companions down at the other end of the carriage.

He'd probably seen the scene Karma had caused, just like every other judging person on this cursed train.

'Ya' gonna be avoidin' him for a while, aren't ya?' Hayashi's next question was spoken with a sigh as he reclined back into the seat he had acquired, though he didn't seem surprised by her lack of response as the seconds ticked by. 'That's gonna be hard to do. Ya been stuck attached to his hip for years.'

Of course she knew that.

He knew all her hiding places, every place she was inclined to visit at any given point in time.

That was the hard thing about trying to separate herself from an eight year companionship; She was entirely predictable and simple to track down.

'Well, if ya need somewhere to hide out from people, ya welcome to bother us. Ya been a lotta good to us these past few months.' Hayashi dismissed as he picked himself up out of his seat. ''sides, I ain't never liked him to begin with.'

Amaya spared the blond delinquent a brief glance as he sauntered towards his group of companions.

Well, she wasn't all that surprised to hear that.

For as long as she could remember, Karma had a knack of making people hate him, sometimes.

In the end, however, there were no further incidents.

There were no phone calls repeating incessantly, no other moments where she had been spotted and chased down, nothing following her departure towards unfamiliar parts of Tokyo she'd be less likely found by people who know of her. It gave her time undisturbed to decide her immediate actions, tasks she needed to attempt to undertake just to set herself back on stable feet.

Amaya wandered along the streets with her headphones blaring, drowning out the world as she let her feet do the navigating and her eyes traced her surroundings with little thought to her destination.

She didn't want to go home.

She didn't want to even be here, anymore.

After having those words shouted at her, thrown in her face, she didn't even know what she wanted, anymore.

She didn't feel like she had much time left, either.

The words haunted her every thought, creeping into her doubts like an invasive spider crawling over her.

Her thoughts weren't her own, and there was nothing she could do about that. She had to suffer and deal with them until she could find her own equilibrium once more.

Wanting to find it, however, was the hard part.

In the end, as the sun began to sink in the sky and the light's hue changed from dull blue to dusty yellow, she was no better off. She had purchases she had made in the small pockets of coherrent awareness, but nothing more.

Her phone had chimed on her way back home with an email from Maehara, informing her that he had just collected her siblings from school, and he was escorting them back home for her after a brief stop at Isogai's house.

And by the time they had arrived, Amaya hd been home long enough to have tidied up the remaining disaster she had made of the house and rectified the problem with her recognizable albinism.

A weary breath had escaped Amaya as she finally put the last clip of the hair extensions she had purchased in place, inwardly wincing as she managed to affix the clip so close to her scalp that there was no movement. Her head pounded with the prominent headache the fumes of the dye had caused, worsened by the attempts of putting those clips in her hair, but at least it was done and she could step back to appraise herself in the mirror.

The reflection in the mirror looked nothing like her.

Her hair was dyed black and the extensions gave the illusion that she had waist-length hair again, and once she put on her glasses and an excessively baggy hooded jumper, her overall self would definitely be completely hidden, unremarkable to discerning eyes.

She looked like any tired girl on the street, the only way she was remotely recognizable from a distance was her alabaster complexion and in the natural whiteness of her eyelashes, which she couldn't be bothered changing with makeup.

Not that she even owned any to begin with.

And she certainly had no competence in it, either.

Other than that... she looked like somebody completely different.

In fact, she looked more like she was a true and proper sibling to the twins like this.

Would it be enough for people to overlook her even if she were standing right in front of them? She hoped it would, but she had her doubts. As long as she could evade him, that was all that mattered.

Although, he hadn't tried to call her again.

She hoped he got the message.

She wasn't ready to face him, and whether she wanted to in the future was still up for debate.

Even the merest thought of him spiked pain through her chest, and yet like a masochistic, twisted fool she found her thoughts bringing him to mind without even meaning to.

A knock at the front door eventually dragged Amaya from her spiralling thoughts, bringing a small reprieve to the haggard teen's mind as she cast one last fleeting glance at her reflection.

She didn't remember ever looking so exhausted, so completely done with the world.

It had to be the dye...

Koko's form in his cage cowered away from Amaya as she walked past towards the front door, bringing the girl to let out a sigh as she looked away. Perhaps, she really should find a better home for him, after all.

It looked like his apprehension of her wasn't a small thing.

Amaya could hear Maehara's voice before she'd even reached the door, along with his mildly annoyed tone as he tried to get Samuel's gleeful squealing about hugging kittens under control. She couldn't hear Yuta or Reiko, but knew the both of them would be in tow as well.

It was odd though that the twins hadn't even attempted to unlock the door.

The sight that greeted her the moment she did open the door however, was not quite what she'd expected.

The twins were in the front, both sporting equally as startled expressions the second they had processed Amaya's greatly different appearances, though Yuta was quick to snap his mouth shut and looked away grimly. Samuel was in the middle of gushing over a flower that he'd just noticed blooming just next to the step, and Maehara was in the back, staring unspeaking at Amaya, his expression measured, controlled even. Athough she knew him well enough to know that the look was a front to try and keep himself from saying anything unnecessary around her siblings.

She could see that he was itching to interrogate her, like he'd promised her he would.

'Amay-- why do you have long hair again?!' Reiko couldn't help but demand as she leaped over the last of the door step to try and grasp at the extensions hanging down over the front of her shoulder. 'Short hair looks better on--'

'Reiko.' Yuta interrupted with a sigh. 'Can you let us inside?'

The young girl let out a gasp as Yuta all but practically shoved his way past her, and a second later, she had let out a yelp when her twin had even grabbed her by the ear to drag her away.

'Ow Yuuuuuta!!!" She whined dramatically as she struggled to stumble along without slipping. 'Why are you so mean!? You're taking on too many of Ka--'

'Samuel! Hurry up!' Yuta swiftly cut in over Reiko with a shout back over his shoulder. 'The cats are waiting!'

'Okay!' Samuel called out, somehow completely overlooking that Amaya was even standing right there.

He probably didn't recognize her, though why he didn't even seem to question why somebody else was here was left up for debate.

However, within seconds the door to the upstairs area was shut with a distinct thud, leaving Amaya and Maehara alone at the front door.

'I have no idea how you manage to keep those three in line as much as you do.' Maehara complained.

Ah, she guessed that the past day hadn't been so great for the only-child. Samuel and Reiko likely went through their usual throws of riling each other up, and Yuta was on vicious crowd control, which unfortunately, with the addition of Samuel in the sibling circle, only sought to add to the havoc instead of quell it.

Amaya cast the ceiling a brief glance when Yuta's agitated shout for quiet rung through the house.

It was a few seconds later when Amaya had decided to step outside into the cold, and she shut the door behind her as she wandered over to stand against the trunk of the pine tree in her front yard. It was a few seconds before she turned her undivided attention upon her friend, who had yet to shift from his spot on the bottom step.

'How much did you tell them?' She couldn't help but ask.

'Absolutely nothing, believe it or not.' Maehara grumbled as he buried his hands in his pockets. 'Yuta-kun just asked if you were fighting with him. I didn't answer, but I probably didn't have to.'

Yuta and his perceptive ways... Perhaps he'd looked at how angry Maehara had undoubtedly been when he'd picked them up from school and put the pieces together.

However, it was at that very moment that her friend turned to fix her with the full brunt of his expectant glare, reminding Amaya all too well that he was here to talk to her, and there was no backing out of it right now.

'You haven't eaten anything, have you?' He demanded of her.

To which, Amaya just simply shrugged. No point in denying the point when his question was more or less rhetorical.

It didn't help the agitated huff that escaped him briefly.

'Have they eaten?' Amaya asked quietly.

'Huh? Oh... yeah.' Maehara dismissed as he ran a hand through his unusually messy hair. 'They wanted burgers on the way here.'

Guess that explained why Samuel wasn't whining about being hungry. Though, she paid little heed to that thought for that moment.

She could easily see that her friend was itching to broach the inevitable topic with her, but was trying to at least be a little tactful and not bombard her with his usual upfront comments. She wasn't sure how long he was going to last right now, and it would at least be kind to not postpone this any longer than she had to.

'I'm not alright.' She spoke up before long, earning Maehara's immediate attention from the patch of dirt he was staring at by his feet. 'I've... barely been able to function. Thinking isn't even working right now...'

A few seconds passed in silence following Amaya's confession, before her friend had let out a sigh and trudged over to stand in front of her motionless form against the tree.

'I already knew that, you know.' He responded somberly, leaning forward slightly so he was at equal height to her. 'I don't think anybody would be alright after that.'

That?

She got the impression that he'd only been there the last few se--

'I asked Ritsu-chan.' Maehara told her, effectively cutting off her thoughts within an instance.

'... Oh.' She mumbled as she turned her gaze elsewhere.

Of course the fixed artillery could do that. She had installed herself on all their phones, after all...

'He's wrong about all that, Maya-chan.' Maehara informed her seriously, without his usual briskness in his words or the almost theatrical way he would throw his mood around. 'Do you know that?'

Amaya remained silent, refusing to lift her head up to look at him.

'It's not wrong for you to be so terrified of that sorry excuse of a father after what he's done to you. You're the one who has to live with it, not him. Not me, not anyone else.' He continued, none the less. 'He can say all he wants about how hard it is for him, but it doesn't change the fact that you're the one that's living with this damage. He isn't the one living your life every day. It's only hard for him because he's refusing to actually see what's been done to you.'

She kept her mouth shut and her gaze fixed on the ground.

'I have nightmares of that place, of how you got taken away in there, and I'm not even the one who went through hell there.' Her friend confessed quietly.

That brought Amaya to lift her gaze to look up at him.

'I didn't tell you, did I? Why I really went with you in that place?' He asked her quietly, earning the smallest shake of the head in response.

'...You just said that you weren't going to let me go on my own.' Amaya hesitantly answered. 'That I was freaked enough, or something...'

She really didn't remember much of the moments before descending into that nightmare. It was all just a wave of cloudy anxiety, to her.

'That's part of it, but not the main reason.' Maehara agreed quietly, though his brief pause was somber, remorseful, even. 'I just couldn't shake the feeling that if I let you go on your own, you'd never come back. That nobody would know something happened in time to get you out of there if you went on your own.'

Amaya didn't know what to say.

Maehara had never really spoken about that night to her beyond an offhanded comment that Toji was a real piece of work, and Amaya herself had never been willing to bring it up, herself.

It scared her, hurt even to realize that even now, her messed up life had caused harm on her friend.

'Hiroto-kun, I...--'

'I saw how much just his words affected you.' He continued, silencing her with that, alone. 'How much control he had over you was terrifying to watch, more than guessing what he was even going to do to me. And realizing that you were handing yourself over to get me out of there? That was the worst of it all... knowing you were saying goodbye in the end because you knew that was the end.'

He cast her a sad smile, reaching up to gently wipe away a stray tear she didn't even realize she'd shed.

'You're not wrong to be terrified of that guy after what he's done to you.' He reaffirmed gently. 'I was only held hostage by him, and I'm terrified of running into him down a dark alley.'

Mutely, Amaya nodded as another tear slipped down her face.

'It's a miracle you're still a functioning human being, let alone that you even made it out of that place at all.'

She nodded once more, averting her gaze as she felt the tears refuse to stop. She tried to discretely wipe them away, but her attempt had been thwarted the moment she was pulled forward into an embrace.

The tears only worsened as the seconds ticked by.

And then, the sobs started.

'I'm glad you're still here, Maya-chan. That in spite of everything, you're still here. That you're still you.' Maehara spoke softly into her ear.

She nodded mutely into his shoulder.

'And I'll fight anyone who makes you feel otherwise.'

---=[Authors Notes]=---

Another chapter, now that we're past that hard hurdle I was having trouble with.

Kanjō - Translates as Emotions, written as 感情

Hope you all enjoyed.

All the best, guys~!

<3 SnappyCockatiel