Maehara was undoubtedly upset with Amaya, and she knew it before she had managed to disembark at Kunugigaoka.

She had remained stuck on that train in a feigned attempt at being someone else, wary of the very real possibility that the moment she moved she could earn Karma's immediate attention. She sat waiting right up until Karma disembarked at Kunugigaoka station, watching his form disappear through the crowd in spite of herself, even as the doors of the train closed behind him.

His quiet form, with slumped shoulders and lowered gaze was a very sad sight to her. He looked so small at that moment in spite of how he always seemed to stand so tall and capable. So much had changed in such a short span of time.

It was crushing, sobering even.

And Amaya found it hard to accept it.

The train had already begun it's journey to the next station along the line, and she had no choice but to disembark as soon as she could and catch a connecting train back the other way.

Amaya could only let out a weary breath when she eventually disembarked just after 12.30pm, and before she had even taken two steps off the platform, her phone still held securely in her hand had started to light up with an incoming call. It was lucky she even noticed; Her phone was still on silent mode, after all.

'Hello?' Amaya greeted after ascertaining that at the very least, it wasn't another incoming call from Karma.

'Maya-chan, where the hell are you?! We agreed for 12 sharp! Twelve!' Barked out an indignant Maehara. 'You're never this late if you aren't deliberately skipping!'

Well... she was right. He was mad.

'I have an explanation, but I'm not giving it over the phone.' She responded quietly, cautiously in case Karma hadn't quite gone very far since he disembarked the train just half an hour ago. 'So you're just going to have to suck it up and wait.'

'Fine, then how far away are you?' Her friend demanded, briskly.

'I just got off at the station.' She offered in answer. 'However long it takes to walk to where you are from there, I guess.'

'Oh, you're not far. Did you want me to come meet you there, instead?'

'No-- stay there.' Amaya cut in quickly. 'I'm already on my way.'

In truth, Maehara stuck out of a crowd like a sore thumb, and anyone with half a brain would guess that it would be her with him, even with her attempt at changing her appearances up.

'Huh? It'll be quicker if I--'

'No, Hiroto-kun.' Amaya cut in quickly. 'I'm not negotiating this.'

'...The hell. Fine.' Maehara muttered sourly as he gave in. 'You better hurry up.'

'I'm trying, damn it! Quit your whining!' She snapped.

Thankfully however, the park Maehara had picked as the meeting place wasn't far at all. It was a handful of moments before Amaya rounded the corner to see its towering skeletal trees shadowing over a small courtyard fountain. It took a minute for her to locate her friend, and she only managed as quickly as she did due to the spoiled muttering she could hear the closer she got. He was standing behind the fountain with his scowling gaze firmly locked upon his phone, and he hadn't appeared to notice her, yet.

He was dressed quite differently to normal, Amaya promptly noted as she quietly snuck up behind him. Instead of his usual, brighter colours he wore outside of school, he was dressed in grey jeans, a dark button-up shirt and a black jacket. Additionally, he also had his hair brushed more out of his face than usual and tucked almost completely beneath a dark beanie.

It looked a lot like he had paid great attention to the fact that she was trying to be as unrecognizeable as possible, and attempted to at least be rather inconspicuous in turn.

She certainly wouldn't have recognized it was him from a distance if she were simply looking in his direction.

'I wasn't that long.' Amaya announced loudly when she heard her friend begin to mutter sourly beneath his breath about how he should have just walked off to find her himself, earning a startled gasp as he turned his head quickly to look at her. 'Five minutes isn't that bad.'

'You're fourty minutes late, woman! Not five!' Maehara quipped bitterly.

'Well, I couldn't really help that.' She dismissed.

'And?' Maehara huffed as he cast her an expectant stare. 'What's your excuse?'

'Karma was sitting four seats away, placing a damned voicemail to me on the train.' She explained quietly, forcing her expression to remain blank as she tried to shake off the sad glimpses she had caught of the mischievous redhead. 'It was either sit on the train until the stop after his so I didn't draw attention to myself, or disembark and risk behing recognized.'

'Oh.' Her friend deadpanned, though he let out a slow breath as he eventually nodded in understanding. 'Gotcha. That's fair... Did he recognize you?'

'He didn't say anything to me, so likely not.' She responded.

Although... There was a niggling doubt in the back of her mind, that he hadn't failed to recognize her at all.

That he'd recognized her right away in spite of her efforts of being unrecognizeable, or at the very least, he had a strong feeling that it was her he had spotted on the train. And that he'd deliberately placed that voicemail on the off-chance that it was her. She wasn't answering anyone's phone calls, replying to email, nor were her siblings helping, so maybe that really was a last-ditch attempt at speaking to her without cornering her.

But all of that was just a doubt.

In truth, she didn't truly know either which way.

'Well, that's over and done with, and we're running late so just forget about it!' Maehara announced loudly as he shuffled around to forcefully push Amaya onwards. 'We have things to do, so hurry up and get your butt in gear!'

Amaya didn't argue, even though she was sorely tempted to quip.

She let him do what he wanted and simply followed along.

The first stop of the day was apparently a walk through the streets to go window shopping, something that she had never truly done with anyone unless it was a discrete attempt of hers to gauge birthday presents for the twins. Maehara insisted on wandering through stores he believed were of interest to her, and any other time he would have been remarkably accurate.

Music stores, craft shops, even specialty hobby stores. Places that would usually gain a lot of intrigue from Amaya, were she not with so much weight hanging on her shoulders, so much heartbreak that drained the very life out of her.

There were several items in the hobby stores that she acknowledged she might be interested in at some other point; Paint pour kits, crochet how-to sets and stained glass putty, things that were far more creative than she usually let herself dabble in.

Amaya learned at the same time that Maehara certainly was not creative in the visual sense, but during their perusal in the music store she found herself noting that he was rather musically adept. At least when it came to playing the guitar.

She vaguely recalled that he had a guitar at home that one time she'd visited, vaguely recalled that she had been quite intrigued by that revelation at the time, in spite of the fact that he had waved it off as a small hobby he'd picked up to appeal to girls he'd ask out. But in spite of his dismissal, he was really quite good at it.

He'd picked up an acoustic guitar that was on display as a demo piece in the music store when he thought she was too absorbed in what on earth a handpan was. She had heard the first few bars of a piece that was vaguely familiar to her, turned her head to look, and promptly noticed her friend with the guitar in his grip, balanced on a leg he had propped up to support its very weight.

It was a few minutes before Maehara had noticed her watching, and promptly he put the guitar back down and sheepishly asked if she was ready to get going.

Unlike anyone else, Amaya kept quiet and didn't pry into her friend's reaction.

After all, she didn't like anyone prying into the how and why she had such a warped relationship with music, herself.

The next stop was a cafe she vaguely recognized, if only because it was the one Isogai worked at. A rather late lunch was the next item on Maehara's checklist of objectives, and Amaya wasn't about to argue with him. There was no Isogai in at the moment, though Amaya didn't doubt he was either in the back, or literally on his way to work at the moment.

'You should get a job at one of these places, Maya-chan.' Maehara had informed her mid-way through a bite of the burger he'd ordered. 'Or one of those cosplay cafes. That might even be better. You really pulled off that maid outfit at the culture fest.'

'I don't know...' The girl hedged as she prodded at her salad with a fork. 'I don't think I'm cut out for dealing with people...'

'You probably get along fine with people that aren't in our own age bracket.' Her friend insisted.

Well, it wasn't like she truly knew the answer to that one.

She got along well with Daniel and Isshin, she liked Karasuma, and then...?

Were there any other adults that weren't involved in that classroom or her own disasterous background that she knew?

Honestly, no.

All the rest tolerated her. That was it. And there was no point in considering Karma's parents in that tiny handful of adults anymore.

'If you say so.' Was about the most Amaya could say in response.

Because she really didn't know.

'Anyway, you'd better eat up quick, Maya-chan.' Maehara told her as he practically downed the last of his drink. 'We've got to get to the next place by 3.45, you know.'

Amaya fixed her friend with a listless stare as she skewered a piece of chicken a little more forceful than was likely necessary.

'Why the tight schedule?' She couldn't help but ask.

'No reason, just got a lot to fit in.' Her friend swiftly answered. 'But I guess if we don't get there in time, we can get the later screening. It just messes up my planning.'

At that remark, Amaya couldn't help the suspicious expression that crept across her face.

'This isn't a date you've insisted on dragging me on, is it?'

'No?'

'Really?'

'I mean, what really constitutes a date? Really?'

'Uhuh.' Amaya hummed dismissively.

'An outing between friends and a romantic date is basically the same thing when you take away the feeli--'

'Hiroto-kun.' Amaya pressed for a legitimate answer.

'I'm not good at planning not-dates, okay?!' Maehara snapped indignantly. 'Besides, you're the one that's leapt to that suspicion, right?'

A sigh escaped Amaya as she nodded her understanding.

'Sorry.' She mumbled into her half-eaten salad. 'Just couldn't really rule it out when you're in the picture.'

'As in?' Maehara demanded as he pointed his chopsticks roughly in her general direction.

'Your screeching for the whole time when you were... trying to make Karma jealous, I guess...?' The girl couldn't help the sigh that escaped her as she spoke. 'I mean, I know why you were being so obnoxious about it, but it still comes right to mind.'

Her friend was silent for a moment as he seemed to think on her explanation, only to eventually shrug as he leaned forward towards her.

'I suppose I probably should come clean with you.' He admitted with no other expression than the vague hint of a crooked smile, though his tone was matter of fact and to the point. 'You're probably the only one who wouldn't take it the wrong way.'

'I thought Isogai-kun was your confidant?' Amaya couldn't help but ask.

'Most of the time.' Maehara dismissed. 'But he's also quick to wave off whatever I'm saying if you're the subject matter. He often thinks I'm being over-dramatic.'

Amaya sat frozen, uncertain of how she was supposed to interpret that remark.

'When I was acting overbearing to make Karma-kun jealous just before summer break, I was actually serious about making it hurt him.' Her friend began with a wry smile. 'But not for the reason you're thinking... That's where I've got to come clean with you'

After a moment, he lifted his gaze from the remnants of his lunch to look her in the eye.

'When you told us that he had suddenly started to avoid you back then, I was angry on your behalf because you were hurt by it of course... but at the same time, there was a part of me that kind of hoped that he was determined to keep avoiding you no matter what I did.' Maehara explained carefully, slowly in spite of how energetic and brisk his usual speech usually was. 'I was kind of, on the tail end of a crush I was trying to break out of... on you, actually. And even though I was angry at him, I couldn't help that thought that, maybe, I actually had a chance with you if I just... waited? I knew it was wrong to have any hope when you were so hurt, but I couldn't help it... God, it feels wrong even admitting it, even if I don't feel that way anymore.'

She saw the way his gaze shifted away from hers momentarily, saw the way a hand had eventually lifted to sheepishly rub at the nape of his neck as he actually confessed to her.

But she was stunned frozen and rendered mute, far too much to do more than openly gape at her friend.

'To tell you the truth, Maya-chan... I was actually interested in you when you first transferred in.' Maehara began as he leaned back against the back of the booth chair he was sitting in. 'Yeah, you looked scary and the rumors about you weren't flattering at all, but Yuuma told me he'd met you before then and told me that you were different from what everyone said you were. Obviously he was right. I didn't expect the big bad Katsuragi to be that shy around new people. It was weird at first, but honestly, once I was over the shock of it all, it was the most endearing thing I'd ever seen. The clumsy side of you was so stupid it was cute. But I was just interested, just like I was interested in dating any of the other girls in class.'

Amaya remained in pensive silence, gaze still firmly upon Maehara's form as he fidgeted awkwardly in his seat.

'I think it was when we first stopped in at your apartment about that study day back in first term? Yeah, that's probably when I really started liking you.'

A study day...?

Vaguely, Amaya recalled he was referring to that day she'd been thrown out of the apartment by the twins, and the two boys had kept her company for the whole day. It was... the same day that she had stayed at Karma's place, wasn't it?

That... wasn't long after she'd first transferred in.

'I've never felt that strongly about a girl so quickly before, and I was going to ask you out. I'd been planning to ask during the trip to Kyoto. You know, make a big deal of it during free time, but well...'

'I wasn't ever around...?' Amaya offered up as answer.

'No, it was more so because it became rather obvious that you were romantically attached to Karma-kun, actually.' Her friend cast her a wry smile as he answered. 'Your reaction to what was in Koro-sensei's book was rather telling, you know.'

'...Oh.' There was little more she could actually say to that.

She really had been that emotionally invested with him back then, hadn't she?

Hindsight was painfully clear, she noted.

'I decided to try and stamp out my interest in you right after that... Koro-sensei didn't help with his constant prying, though.' Maehara continued none the less. 'He didn't let it drop after we caught him slinking around outside the train to snoop on Yuuma and Megu-chan. Obviously didn't buy the answer I gave him at the time, cause he pestered me with it for weeks, the slimy bastard...'

So, he'd spent all those weeks between Kyoto and the exams trying to shake a growing crush on her because he knew she liked Karma, instead? And he still had feelings for her when he was trying to help her situation with Karma at the time?

Amaya's gaze slowly shifted to her hands wringing in her lap as she began to feel indescribably guilty for even putting her friend in that position, in spite of the fact that she hadn't even known to begin with.

Just... what kind of friend was she to not even notice...?

'But it's been months since I've felt that way, I hope you know.' Maehara informed her, as if he'd heard the very thoughts running through her head. Or rather, that he'd seen the look across her face and guessed as much. 'And I'm not exaggerating or lying to you just to make you feel better, either. So don't jump to that conclusion, alright?'

'...How can I not, though?' She whispered.

'I haven't finished explaining myself, Maya-chan.' The faint shuffling she heard echo from his side of the booth brought her to hesitantly lift her head, if only to glimpse the skewered chip he had brandinshed briefly in her direction. 'And you have a bad habit of hanging crap on yourself over the smallest thing.'

'Gee, thanks...' Amaya huffed exaggeratedly.

'Don't get sassy with me.' Maehara quipped lightly. 'I'm just saying.'

And she was just being sarcastic.

It should have been fairly obvious, though.

The following handful of moments were awkwardly spent in silence on Amaya's part. The ambiance of the cafe was comfortable, amicable even, a low background of calm conversations amid the clinking of silverware. It felt jarringly off from the heavy bombardment of information their conversation had been, almost otherworldy even.

A waitress wandered over briefly to check that they were enjoying their meal and offer any refils or deserts, both of which Amaya was surprised to hear her friend agree to after checking the time.

Maybe he'd decided to change plans.

'Hypotheticaly speaking, though. I wouldn't want us to date, even if that's what you actually wanted.' Maehara eventually spoke up once the waitress had left to wander back towards the kitchen, earning Amaya's prompt attention. 'I'm a very toxic person in relationships, even if I'm doing my best at the time, and even if I was in a relationship with you of all people, I know that I'd be no good for you. I'd make the same mistakes, hurt you the same way I have hurt everyone else, and I just couldn't do that. Legitimately, it's enough for me to have you in my circle of friends.'

Amaya silently nodded in understanding.

'You're the one person in the world that I hold the most respect for. More than Yuuma, more than Koro-sensei. Heck, even more than Karasuma-sensei. I can't really help it after learning so much about you, after being in that hellhole with you like that.' He continued without hesitation, though the look across his face was subdued and thoughtful. 'And it's because I hold you so highly that I want what's best for you. I was willing to deal with whatever Karma attacked me with if he needed a good kick in the teeth to get back in line, because he made you happy. But if someone else ends up liking you, I'd probably put them through a lot of trouble at first because in my mind, I don't think anyone will be good enough to have earned your attention.'

The wry smile Maehara cast her had caught her off guard, and she didn't know quite how to react to that statement.

'In my opinion, only someone like Yuuma could be good enough to deserve you, but the chances of someone like him turning up isn't that high. And yeah, I know you'd never be happy with someone like that, either.' He continued quietly, glancing away briefly as movement from behind the cafe counter came to his notice. 'You're the rare kind of person that embraces someone more for their flaws than their perfections, and I get that. It doesn't make it easy to keep my mouth shut about it, though.'

Moments later, the waitress returned with Maehara's ordered items, bringing the one-sided conversation to a halt. A custard cream tart was set on the table in front of Amaya, and before she realized it, her half-eaten salad had been cleared from the table, and the waitress had disappeared back to the kitchen.

'Does that help explain it to you?' Maehara eventually asked. 'That no, I haven't been remotely interested in you romantically for a while now?'

'I don't know...' Amaya could only mumble as she stared down at the small, delicate treat set on the table in front of her. 'I've... never felt that way about a person before... I don't know how to comprehend it...'

'You don't have to, you know.'

'But I--'

The sudden, jarring ring of the door of the cafe from behind had startled Amaya enough to have her suddenly cut herself off with a jolt. The girl's eyes had widened in surprise, and seconds later, the approaching footfalls of multiple people came to her notice.

'So this is where you've been, Maehara-kun?' Quipped a girl of all people surprising Amaya with little effort. 'You're playing around on some date instead of helping us? Really?'

There was a distinct sigh that escaped her friend as he straightened up in his seat and turned his head to look at the people standing over Amaya's shoulder.

'It's Sunday.' Maehara deadpanned. 'And what I do on my day off is none of your business.'

'But we don't have much time left before the launch!'

'Yeah, and?' Maehara deadpanned. 'Koro-sensei was the one who told everyone to have today off.'

'Maehara-kun!!!' Hissed one of the girls.

Oh... These were people from 3-E standing over her shoulder.

It was made even more obvious when the girls made frantic shushing noises the moment Maehara had mentioned Koro-sensei in particular.

'I'm not going. We have until the 18th to get ready. That's just over a week away, even now.' Maehara was quick to inform the group of classmates, cutting them off before they tried to push the point. 'If you all want the extra training, be my guest. But don't go and tell me how to spend my time when you go and spend yours how you want.'

'We haven't been slacking in a cafe with some random girl, and you know it!' A different girl quipped, one she vaguely recognized to be Okano after a moment. 'Don't you want to help Sensei like the rest of us?'

This, was a conversation she wanted nothing to do with.

It was just good luck within bad that the restroom was in the far end of the cafe ahead of her, and she didn't have to push past Maehara's classmates just to get out of the way for now.

So without a word, Amaya picked herself up and walked off, ignoring the confused stares she received from the girls as she left.

By the time Amaya had emerged, Maehara's classmates had all disappeared, and her friend was still sitting at the booth looking none too pleased at that moment. A number of the customers that had been in the cafe earlier had filed out, whether due to the commotion those girls were causing or something else, it didn't matter.

There was virtually nobody else in the building beyond the cafe staff, and Amaya couldn't find it in her to really care about whatever it was that they had wanted.

'They still throwing a tantrum, or something?' Amaya dismissively asked as she stood off to the side of the booth, earning a dismissive shrug from Maehara in response. She noticed that the custard cream tart was no longer on the table where she'd left it, and that Maehara was wiping his face with a wad of napkins that weren't at the table before.

'Not really.' Her friend had responded sourly. 'They were kicked out by the manager...'

'Ah.' Amaya's cursory glance over Maehara's appearances had her note the tiniest flecks of custard that was smeared across his right brow, giving Amaya all the information she needed to join the dots. 'Did you want to get out of here, then?'

'That's probably a good idea.' Maehara muttered. 'We do have a movie to catch.'

It was a few moments later when Maehara had gotten himself adequately cleaned up and ready to leave, and a couple moments more by the time they were walking the streets towards Maehara's next intended destination for their afternoon out.

The commotion the handful of girls from Class E had caused was enough to have brought Amaya's wandering thoughts back to the disaster that was her last day at that classroom.

She'd been trying to keep her mind off of it, and she had succeeded for the most part that day.

But now she was right back to dwelling on a chapter of her life she'd be better off without, and she didn't know how to get her mind off of it again.

'Say, Maya-chan...' Maehara began with a sigh, seeming to note Amaya's discontent. 'Have you heard about that rocket launch taking place next week?'

Wordlessly, Amaya shook her head in answer.

She guessed he was choosing to enlighten her on the disagreement he and the girls were having back there, since she'd practically sat through half of it to begin with. Or perhaps he'd been meaning to talk to her about it, but because it was 3-E, he wasn't sure how to broach the subject with her.

'Right, of course you haven't...' Her friend seemed a little disappointed by her answer, but continued none the less as they walked the streets. 'Well... Nagisa's group won that match, so we're now working to save Koro-sensei...'

Yeah, she'd gathered as much from the pieces she'd sat through.

'So, it turns out that we might be able to find a way to save Koro-sensei by hijacking the rocket heading to the international space station. Ritsu found some information up there when she hacked their system, but we have to get up there to steal it in person.'

'...Okay.' Amaya responded in understanding, though she didn't quite understand why that was important right now. 'And?'

'The two going up there are Nagisa and Karma...'

Maehara hesitated briefly when Amaya gave no semblance of even the slightest of responses.

Honestly, she didn't really understand what she was supposed to do with that information.

A very, very large part of her was concerned of course, and she had to catch herself before her mind promptly went down the spiralling rabbit hole of worst-case scenarios that could happen should something go wrong. But another part of her was just... numb.

That wasn't including the jagged pieces of her emotions that threatened to hurt when she thought of the evil incarnate again.

'...Are you going to come watch the launch?' Maehara had asked her.

The silence that escaped the albino was tense, uncomfortable even.

'No.' She eventually answered when it was clear he wasn't going to let this go without her response.

'Not even to wish them a safe trip?' Maehara couldn't help but ask.

Amaya's feet slowed until she came to a stop in the street, and it was a few seconds later when her friend had come to a halt as well.

She knew what he was getting at.

She truly understood the hidden question he was trying to glean answers to, but she couldn't give him that answer.

What if something went wrong and they didn't come back?

Was she truly going to let things decay and crumble like this?

But rather than answer honestly, rather than give him an answer she didn't even understand yet, she took his question literally.

'You all have the worlds greatest supercomputer for a classmate and a teacher who can make the impossible an effortless gesture.' Amaya explained quietly. 'Any well wishes I could give at this point would be useless.'

There was nothing more to say on the matter.

No harm would come to Nagisa or Karma, not while Koro-sensei and Ritsu were in control of the situation. Anything she could hope or wish was pointless now. Nothing she ever did in that classroom ever mattered. Her presence changed nothing, accomplished nothing but heartache on her part.

She was tired of wasting her breath saying things that nobody cared about in the end.

And she was tired of feeling like she was at fault.

---=[Authors Notes]=---

So I'm a couple days after Christmas with this update, but it's close enough, ain't it? Merry Belated Christmas to all those who celebrate, and Happy Festive Season to all those who don't. I hope you've all had a wonderful time and been taking care of yourselves in the meantime. It's 11.09pm on Boxing day for me, so I guess somewhere in the world it really might still be Christmas? I don't know lol.

So yes, another chapter that may not feel important to you guys, but it is another major piece of Amaya development (if you guys can see it that way lolol). I hope y'all can see it, in any case. The number of remaining chapters are dwindling very quickly now that we're past that hurdle that kept me stuck for nearly a year. Very soon things will come to quick motion. Can you guess what's going to happen?

Anyway, some notes on the chapter;

Kōryōtaru - Translates roughly as Desolate (if I'm not mistaken), which should be written as 荒涼たる in Kanji?

Discrepancies between Manga and Anime circumstances: So, this is going to be a little bit of a paragraph or two here. So as you all know I tend to stick exclusively with the manga events with the chapters wherever possible, but in regards to the rocket launch and certain circumstances with that, I've actually chosen to go with the Anime's telling of it. Or more specifically, how the Anime had the class choose in advance to the rocket hijacking that Karma and Nagisa were going to be the stow-aways.

Legitimately, any sane group of people would already decide exactly who is going to be doing the hijacking before even setting foot on the premises to do the deed. But in the manga, the kids are all basically at the rocket hatch when they decide who's going in there, there's carry on between a few of the students in the midsts of this decision, and that's an absolutely insane thing to do when you're working so freaking hard on doing the most stupid and illegal thing you could possibly do at that moment. It makes absolutely no sense to me, so it's exclusively because of that alone that I've gone with the Anime's certain telling of things. It was only secondary that I sat there and realized that hell, that works out for what I had been originally planning to begin with, and I didn't have to find some convenient, rule bending way of getting this information in Amaya's hands logically.

Anyways, that's my reasonings, so please forgive this discrepancy in the events.

In any case guys, hope you all enjoyed and I'll see y'all in the next chapter.

<3 SnappyCockatiel / Amaris