Song: "Stay" - BLACKPINK

Indecisive - "Because I love you"
Word Count: 1429
******************************************

I sat down on the couch next to him. Hearing his breathing. Neither of us look at each other. I wait a minute or two, collecting my thoughts.

"I'm going home," I say, breaking the silence. He lets out a frustrated sigh. "I thought it would better to hear it from me rather than someone el-"

"Why are you doing this?" He asks looking at me. "Are you really that clueless?" I ask him seriously.

"I promise I'll make the rest of the tour fun for you," he says. I look him in the eyes. "Fun, Mario? These past two months have been anything but fun."

"Do you realize what I have been going through for the past two months? Or have you been too focused on other girls that you haven't taken any notice in me whatsoever?"

"I- I didn't, I haven't, I," he seems at a loss for words. "If you didn't like me, why didn't you just tell me?" I asked, "Instead of asking if I wanted to go with you only to find out later that you also invited a bunch of other girls."

"How could you make me feel so special and let other girls feel the exact same way?" I ask, getting teary eyed, "How could you try to hold my hand and kiss me, and then tell everyone we're 'just friends'?"

I kept asking these questions that I wasn't even sure he knew the answers to. "Do you know how many nights I stayed awake crying because I felt like it was my fault?"

I couldn't even look at him anymore, but I could tell he was on the verge of tears. "You've made me think for weeks that I was the problem. That I wasn't good enough," I stand up quickly. The tears streamed down my cheeks.

"I just can't do this anymore," I slightly yell. I hold my face in my hands, letting the tears fall down, my back towards him.

"If you felt this way the entire time, why didn't you just leave?" It was the first time he spoke up in a while. His voice cracked a little as he said this.

"Because I love you," I mumble. It was hard enough to admit it to myself, much worse admit it to him. I felt weak and vulnerable. I hated feeling this way. Allowing him to make me feel this way.

"And I was dumb enough to think that I would actually get a chance with you. But I was wrong, so wrong."I started breaking down, loosing control over my crying.

"No, you weren't wrong," he says. Next thing I knew he was standing right in front of me. He placed his hands on either side of my face, wiping away my tears. "You were always the one," he pulls me into a hug.

"Oh, please," I say pushing him away, "don't give me any of that bullshit. Hugging me and telling me I'm 'the one'. I bet you do that to every girl you hurt," I say, angrily. He looked at me, shocked by my little outburst.

"Well I'm not going to fall for that act, never again." I make him look at me, make him see the pain in my eyes. "I'm over being your little mind-control game."

I start backing up towards the door. "So I'm going home, and I don't want to see you ever again." He just stands there, unable to talk. I stop at the doorframe. "I hope you change your ways because no girl deserves to be treated like that."

And with that I walked out the door. I went around the corner to find Cat standing there. She probably heard the whole thing. She gave me a look full of sympathy.

"I'm so sorry that my brother did this to you, Y/N," she said and pulled me into a hug. We stayed there for a minute. "Cat," I said, pulling out from our hug, "I wanted to thank you for being there for me all this time, and for really putting things into perspective. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had the courage to-" Cat stopped me because I started crying.

"Of course, you're my friend, I care about you," she said. "That makes one of you," I say, wiping away my tears. "Mario...cares about you, he just doesn't know how to settle down."

"He's what I wanted, not what I needed," I say, fully understanding my feelings for him. Cat nods her head. "I really hope you find what you need, Y/N," she pulls me into another hug. "I'll contact you," I tell her, "I'll text you and tell you everything." "I'd like that," Cat says pulling away from the hug with a smile.

"You told her to leave?" We both turn to see Mario standing at the corner with an upset look. "Yes, she was hurting," Cat said plainly. "Our relationship was between her and I, you shouldn't have gotten involved," he said in an angered tone, stepping further into the room.

"What relationship?" Cat questioned. "Last time I checked you were always out and enjoying yourself with other girls." I could feel myself slightly cower at the angered siblings in front of me.

"That was none of your business," Mario says strictly. "It was because she's my friend!" Cat yelled. I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. Even though the topic was about me, I felt like I was witnessing something that I shouldn't be witnessing.

"And I'm ashamed," she continues, "Ashamed that it took my friend's heart break to realize what you're doing." Mario runs his hands through his hair, taking in Cat's words.

"What you're doing is wrong. And you know that, don't you?" Cat asks. Mario nods as some tears fell silently down his cheeks. "I know," he says, defeated. It pained me to see him like this. Even after all he did to me.

"I'm sorry Y/N," he says unsteadily and slides down the wall, "I'm so sorry." He's breaking down in front of my eyes. He draws his knees up to his chest and hides his face. Cat gives me a look before she walks away, leaving Mario and I, alone.

As much as I wanted him to see the faults in his ways, I still loved him. I walk over to the wall and sit down next to him. I place my hand on his knee affectionately. "I don't deserve you," he says, lifting his head off of his knees. A few tears were falling down his cheeks.

I raise my hand to his face and wipe some away. "And you deserve someone way better than me." I nodded my head, a frown taking over my facial expression, "someone who is able to love you back." I pause, thinking about what to say. "You know, even after all you put me through, I still love you," I finally say, surprisingly calm.

He turns his head to look at me. "How can you?" He asks. "I don't know," I respond truthfully, "I guess I just see a good in you that you may not even see in yourself. It's a masked goodness."

A couple minutes go by and Mario stops crying but his cheeks are still flushed. "For all it's worth," he begins to say, "you were special to me." He grabs a hold of my hand, bringing it close to him. A certain warmness fills my heart with his words.

"Thank you, that actually means a lot to me," I say sincerely. For a minute or two we don't look at each other, just enjoying each other's company. "I should go," I say, standing up, "my flight leaves soon." He stands up too, flustered by my sudden attempt of exiting.

"Don't go," he pleads to me. "Mario, I think it's best for everyone if I do," I say. He looks down at me, tears threatening to spill. "It's okay," I assure him, "you'll be okay. I'll be okay." I give him a hug and he's not reluctant at all to wrap his arms around me in return.

After a minute, I pull away. He grabs my hand as a last attempt of making me stay. "Goodbye, Mario," is the last thing I say to him. I remove my hand from his, our fingers brushing against each other. I hold in tears, feeling Mario's gaze on me as I walk out of the room. And his life.