There were four more days before the ball, Chris and the rest of the boys had successfully kept it a secret from Hoseok.

Today, Chris offered to treat him to dinner at the hotel, excited to show him where she worked finally.

The day went by quickly, normal customer enquiries, even a couple interested in holding their wedding at her hotel. She was back in her bedroom, ready to pull open the door to her wardrobe to pick clothes for her evening. But before, she caught a glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror.

Chris felt fulfilled, thankful for the busy day, which reminded her of why she loved her job.

Looking at the girl staring back, however, another reminder painted its way into her mind. It was the very thing her colleagues would tell her from time to time.

Chris was made for this job—or rather—that this job was made for her.

The times other people had paid her these compliments, she would simply brush them away. She'd never believe them.

But today, as she recalled handling daunting customer complaints and arduous booking requests with ease, she came to believe those comments the slightest bit.

Eyes lowering down to her bare arms, a flood of emotions swept right through her.

She started to appreciate Chris from five years ago, the one who cried the first time a customer raised their voice at her.

For the first time, she appreciated the woman who stuck by her side to comfort her, to help her learn her way to where she was right now.

For the first time, Chris realised that she had carried herself to where she was.

She was not an empty shell.

Meeting her own eyes, she watched them start to well with tears.

The girl in front of her had bruises and scars littered over her body, over her heart. But the girl in front of her also patched them all up with bandaids. She held herself together without anyone knowing.

The girl in front of her was not getting the credit she deserved.

And Chris started to realise that maybe, just maybe, she should give her some of that.

--

After actually exploring the town, Chris had started to wear her sneakers more often to work, and would rarely find herself dressed in heels to work. But that day she'd made sure her four-inch heels matched her citron dress, and that her wavy hair sat over her shoulders to bring out her chocolate eyes.

The time came rolling around for when Hoseok had agreed to meet her and Chris rushed down to the lobby.

She wasn't expecting anything less, but seeing the man in front of her still stole all the breath from her lungs. While he wore a black button-up, his skin still shone golden. And while the colour of his pants matched his top, he didn't look dull in the slightest.

As he took a step forward to her, she did the same. And with every stretch of her legs, she felt her heart beat slightly faster. Badum badum badum. The racing in her chest overwhelmed her, so much to the point that when they met in the middle, Chris needed to inhale a deep breath to steady herself.

"Hey," she felt his breath fan over her face, making her hyper-aware of how close they were.

As he pulled his lips back into his stunning smile, the sun appeared. It might have been a coincidence, but she wasn't sure of that.

Through the windows, the glorious rays cast a shimmery veil of orange and gold over the side of his face. But she knew the glow of his skin wasn't due to the sun.

She wondered what it was like to have light inside.

"You ready?" he asked, a slight pant in his tone.

Chris's breathing hitched as she watched him.

He was just so warm. Every word that fell past his lips, every gesture he made, every look he gave burned her on the inside.

Warmth, she realised, was something she never cherished, never considered important. Besides, she'd been void of it her whole life.

But here was this man who had such an abundance of it, handing it on a golden platter to every person who walked past.

"Yes!" she shuffled to the side, "If you don't mind, I just want to return my key tag to the reception, you know, officially get off work."

"Oh, of course," he slipped his hands into the pockets of his black slacks, "I'll wait right here."

Once she stepped away from the man, a huge breath left her. The last time she'd fallen in love was so different from this. So different.

Last time she didn't feel terrified. She wasn't scared about the other person reaching deep down into her soul, planting his very own seeds of marigold in every corner. She wasn't terrified that he watered those seeds with every smile, with every laugh, with every word to the point that the garden of him in her heart would outgrow the fence around it. That it would be on display for the world to see, for him to see.

She wasn't afraid of falling before.

"We have a seat on the veranda," Chris said after regaining her composure and walking over to her friend, "Special treatment."

His smile seemed to shine brighter. How was that possible?

"Great! You lead the way."

"How was your day?" she asked as they began their journey to the restaurant.

"It was the best, honestly," he sighed, "The boys came over, and we hung out. It really meant a lot, you know, them all taking the day off for me."

"That's sweet, what did you guys get up to?"

"Just the usual, we played video games for a while and watched movies. I think they also came over to spend time with my dad, you know because—anyway, overall, it was amazing."

They finally reached the eatery, Chris patting the waiter on the shoulder before guiding Hoseok to the veranda where only one table was placed.

"Is it only us here?"

"Like I said; special treatment," she grinned at him before making her way to the table.

He bet her to her seat, however, casually pulling the chair back for her to sit on.

"Oh— thanks," she cleared her throat, trying to find interest in the stitches of the table cloth to hide the blush undoubtedly smudging her cheeks.

"How about you?" he asked when he sat down. Perhaps this location wasn't a great idea, after all. In the open area where streaks of the sun were free to enter the space, dance across his cheeks, play with his hair.

"Hmm?" she forced herself from her trance, the trance he continued to pull her back into.

"How was your day—Oh wait, should we order first?"

"It's okay," she shook her head, "Part of the special treatment is the head chef tailoring a meal on his own accord for us."

"Wow," he sighed, "I'm honoured."

"As you should be," grinning, she rested her chin in the palms of her hand, "So, where were we?"

"You were about to tell me how your day was, how you are."

"Ah, yes," she sighed, "It was great, actually. A normal hotel day together with a few self-discoveries. All in all; it was fulfilling."

The waiter appeared at their table then, laying a platter of food in front of them. Hoseok's eyes glistened ten times brighter at the small strawberries adorning the rim of the plate. And Chris wished she could pull out her phone to take a quick picture. Perhaps carrying the light in his eyes around in her pocket would brighten up her dim days, too.

The words of the waiter were lost in between Chris's observations of her friend, and Hoseok's examination of the food. Something along the lines of 'The Chef's Special' but really, Chris didn't care.

When she was with Hoseok, it was just too easy to tune everything else out. When she was with him, she learnt what it was like to be listened to. She learnt what it was like to want to give someone else all her attention.

"Should we start eating?" Hoseok eyes flitted up to meet hers, and that's when she instantly became aware of how long she'd been staring at him for.

Letting out an awkward cough, Chris's gaze fell to her cutlery, again trying to mask her blush.

"Oh—yeah, let's do that."

Cutting up a slice of meat, Hoseok gently placed it on Chris's plate before doing the same for himself.

"So," he began, voice muffled by the food in it, "How have you been doing, really?"

"What? I just told you, I've—"

"No, I mean, how have you been, post... you know."

"Oh," she nodded. She meant how was I coping without my ex, Chris thought. "You know what?"

"Yeah?"

"I genuinely hadn't thought about him for a few days, weeks even," which wasn't a complete lie. Yeah, she'd thought about him a couple of times recently, but it had always been in comparison to somebody else.

"Chris, that's great. I think that's amazing," however, the baritone of his voice dug into her, ricocheting against her bones, "I know it's not easy, breaking off a long term relationship. So don't blame yourself if you find you're taking a few steps back here and there."

She offered him a small smile. They'd talked about his previous relationship, one that was also quite long and serious. One where Hoseok was almost sure they'd be together forever.

"Now that it's all over," Chris started again, "It makes me wonder if I even had feelings for him in those last few months, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"Perhaps I fell out of love with him a long time ago, my heart knew it, but my mind didn't. My mind would have rather stayed, accepted the poison seeping through it with every word that left his lips. And I guess I was too naive to see it."

"Don't say that," when Chris looked up to him, he was frowning. And she hated it.

"Don't say what?"

"Don't blame yourself. I think you did the right thing by leaving him, but don't blame yourself for not doing that sooner."

There was a myriad of feelings and emotions swirling inside of her. And he was tapping into each one.

She wanted to argue back, tell him that if she had just looked at what was in front of her, she wouldn't be in this position right now. But when she looked into those eyes, she couldn't do that.

"You're right," she sighed again, "I can start building myself back up again, now that I've said goodbye to one of the biggest people holding me back from doing that."

And instantly, his lips pulled back into a massive grin, "That's exactly what I want to hear."

Without even thinking, Chris felt her airways strain. She was underwater. When did she forget how to breathe? How come sitting there, watching the man in front of her look into her eyes took her back to second-grade swimming lessons? Back when she had to hold her breath underwater, only to jump to the surface gasping for air.

However, the only difference was that she didn't jump to the surface. She continued to drown. Drown in the warmth that was Jung Hoseok.

once again, very late update. i am really sorry that my updates aren't as consistent as many other authors, i promise i'm trying as hard as i can!

how are you all though? can you believe there's only like 37 days until christmas??