CHAPTER 6

DAMON

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I got up squinting. "Did I faint?"

"Actually, I thought you died." Yep, that was Elec. We heard a car coming to a halt -screeching. That was Irsia. "There I was. Pleased with my schedule. Went for a run, took a shower. Started my homework prompt on time. I had an eerie apprehension of why my schedule is undisrupted and right then like a siren I receive a call that you died."

I laughed at the misery of Irsia. I, once again, had ruined her schedule. "How did I end up in your car?" I asked, holding my head.

"Uhhhh... tsk tsk." Elec sighed. "Ever heard of faint walking?"

As Elec drove from school on the way, I saw Kyle Miller crossing the road with his new girlfriend, Sophie Garcia. I looked at them, like staring into the distance vaguely. 2 months ago, I bawled my eyes out on seeing them together. I remembered this Japanese word, "boketto", when I saw them. Boketto meaning -staring into the distance without thinking. Well, I was a paragon in the art of boketto. I could stare into the distance without thinking about anything for minutes. That was how I escaped my thoughts. That's how I had survived.

"You should have hit him that day, Walker," Elec mumbled. "Or you should have let me hit him or I could make a sharp turn and iron him down with my wheels."

"And what's the use of that...?"

"Your patience with him scares me."

A brief moment of silence passed us. Moments of silence in which I wasted away the words that appeared in my mind. I took a surreptitious look at my phone. My phone was still turned off. I dared not to turn it on. If I do, there would be at least twenty calls and fifty messages from strangers. I could get a new phone number, but for that I'd have to explain my mom why I needed a new phone number. I couldn't tell my friends about this. If I said, they'd confront Kyle. He was a Machiavellian. He would go miles of length to hurt them. I didn't want that for my friends.

"Are you sure? You don't want to go search Damon?"

I didn't reply. I didn't have the energy to even stand. I didn't know when my body would stop cooperating and if I pass out again, I'd be putting my friends in trouble. If I went and searched for him, I'd feel stupid. If I didn't search for him, I'd feel guilty.

"Walker?" Elec sounded concerned.

"No, I just want to go home." I paused. I felt reprehensive to say it, knowing that Damon could be lying somewhere or worse, but I said it anyway. "I need some rest."

As we neared my home, my stomach formed knots. I knew when I opened that goddamn gate there was no going back anywhere.

"You know Walker, we miss the old you."

"Oh my God!!" I had been a perpetual damsel in distress over the past few months and I didn't notice that it had an effect on my best friends. "I will be fine. Don't worry." I put as much sincerity as I could muster up.

I yanked out the car and walked toward the gate. When I crossed the hall and put my feet on the stairs to reach my room, I heard my mom's footsteps. I thought of running to my room. She caught me before I could even take a step further.

"Did you have lunch?" she interrogated. That was the only thing she knew. To ask questions. To corner me. That and to clean the house obsessively.

"Yes." I lied. She was concerned about me as well, but she could get on my nerves so easily.

"Milk is at the table." She pointed at the glass on the table. Well, that was mom. She either interrogated or was concerned about me.

It was 7 PM and I finally had the guts to turn on my phone. As my phone came alive, my heart pumped and leaped. There were about twenty calls from strangers. There was a number from which there had been about five calls. I blocked them all and was about to get into the shower, thinking it would calm my nerves.

"Walker, you there?" Elec called out from her window.

I walked to the window. "Yeah! I was about to get into shower."

"Did you get any calls from any... unknown number?"

My heart skipped a beat. At this rate, I was going to die at 25. I didn't know what to answer her. My mind was racing with many thoughts, but nothing was good enough to be turned into words, to lie to her in a way that she'd believe. I stood there looking out the window like a stone with batting eyes. I had never been a good liar. Whenever I lied, my voice and eyes didn't sync and I mostly got caught. That few seconds seemed to be me reliving my chemistry class.

"Walker? Did you keep your phone turned off...?" She urged me to answer.

That's it. I was caught before I could even lie. There was no escaping. I needed to tell her about how Kyle had passed my number to every other pervert he knew. I separated my glued lips, thinking what sentence to put first to dampen the conflict.

"Walker, turn on your phone and call back to that number," she insisted and I thought I saw her forehead crease with something.

My stomach made a sharp flip. It wasn't about Kyle or the perverts. My gut told me that it was about Damon. I rushed to my phone with my shivering body. As I looked at the phone, I didn't know which number to call. There were at least twenty calls from new numbers. I called the earliest call that day. Some guy picked up and said, "hey baby..." Nope. Not that number. I called the next number. "I'm calling about my dog Damon." The reply was, "I can be your Damon." Not again. Tears drenched my cheeks and then my chin. When I called the next number, someone picked up and asked, "are you Kyle's girl" and I yelled, "I am nobody's girl."

That exact moment when I threw my voice and spat, 'I am nobody's girl', Elec rushed inside my room.

"What's happening?" she asked. "Who was that?"

I wasn't in the right mind to answer her. She snatched the phone from my hand and saw all the unknown numbers that were in the blocked list. She looked puzzled. She lifted her head slowly from my phone and looked at me quizzically. I understood that she understood about what had been going on. She didn't ask a word about that to me. I knew she understood that it wasn't the right time to grill me. She took out her phone, opened her call list and dialed a number from her call list in my phone. She handed my phone to me. A thought flashed my mind that it was probably the number from which I had received about five calls. I was right. It was Damon.

Someone had found Damon lying near the Crossburn Lake -just as I had guessed. That's how far he could have gone. He didn't know any place else other than my home, Elec's, Irsia's and Aiden's. The flyers that Aiden and Irsia posted for Damon that he had been missing had my phone number and Elec's. That was how Elec knew about it. Elec just didn't want to lay the news over me by herself. Aiden and Irsia posted the flyers the very next day Damon went missing. That was the day I saw Declan near the woods.

I sank on the floor, hugging my legs while my eyes did the waterworks. I wished I could have hugged him one last time. Elec sat down with me. Some guys who went fishing had found Damon there.

"We should go get him." Elec hugged me.

I nodded. I got up and followed Elec downstairs. My mom had guessed something was going on. When I reached downstairs, I felt my mother's look from behind me.

"Where are you going?" Interrogation again.

"To bring Damon," I blurted and walked out.

When I reached there, I found Aiden and Irsia already near the lake. Damon was lying near the big tree near the lake. That's where we used to play fetch. The thought that he won't be there to play with me again hit me and then the thought that he might have gone to that place because of the happy memories he had of that place hit me harder. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. I knelt, trying to lift him up. He was all wet and stiff. It didn't feel like him at all. I couldn't lift him. I never was able to lift him. The last I lifted him was when he was a puppy. He was a heavy Labrador. Irsia helped me lift him.

We carried him to Elec's car. All the way home, the silence in the car felt heavy and demanding more tears. As we came to a halt, I yanked out of the car. Aiden helped me carry Damon. I saw my mother standing at the door. She cried. She freaking shed tears for the dog. It looked very sincere. My mother loved Damon, but she hated the fact that he left fur all over the place and that she had to clean it up. We buried Damon at my backyard. I would always remember the days with him. He did fill a hole in my life. He couldn't speak but that didn't mean that wasn't a stumbling block in our connection. He was one of my best friends and I would continue to remember him that way. I imagined him playing and rolling around in the autumn leaves of the rainbow bridge. 

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